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Posts written by NatureJay:
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hooplah nc
I met a strange lady, she made me nervous. She took me in and gave me hooplah.
I’m late to my meeting for hooplah.
I tried to sneak out of the store with hooplah under one arm and no wheelchair access down my pants.
At the auto parts store, the salesman tried to upsell me on hot slugs when I bought hooplah.
McDonald’s combo menu #3: Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a large Coke, and a side of hooplah.
In future times, the children will work together to build hooplah.
I’m late to my meeting for hooplah.
I tried to sneak out of the store with hooplah under one arm and no wheelchair access down my pants.
At the auto parts store, the salesman tried to upsell me on hot slugs when I bought hooplah.
McDonald’s combo menu #3: Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a large Coke, and a side of hooplah.
In future times, the children will work together to build hooplah.
User
American exceptionalism nc
When I told my father he shouted, “No daughter of mine is going out with American exceptionalism!”
When I saw American exceptionalism I was scared, but when it started coming toward me, being cooked and eaten, I went white as a sheet!
Our mystical secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of American exceptionalism making it weird.
I want to be buried with American exceptionalism.
Astronaut Chris Hadfield is well known for sneaking American exceptionalism onto the International Space Station.
My pharmacist separated American exceptionalism into two piles, and carefully lowered one into hotdog grade “meat”.
When I saw American exceptionalism I was scared, but when it started coming toward me, being cooked and eaten, I went white as a sheet!
Our mystical secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of American exceptionalism making it weird.
I want to be buried with American exceptionalism.
Astronaut Chris Hadfield is well known for sneaking American exceptionalism onto the International Space Station.
My pharmacist separated American exceptionalism into two piles, and carefully lowered one into hotdog grade “meat”.
User
I was thinking about "Screenwriter's Blues"
They may work better as separate cards that may later be combined to great effect.
They may work better as separate cards that may later be combined to great effect.
automatic weapons and boundless love np
In a world with automatic weapons and boundless love cheating, one man must overcome expectorating some sludge. Coming this summer.
The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in automatic weapons and boundless love.
Strangely, right before Hitler killed himself, he had what Mom made destroyed and automatic weapons and boundless love killed as well.
God didn’t create me. God created automatic weapons and boundless love. And automatic weapons and boundless love created me.
My daughter came home crying because the kids at school said she was automatic weapons and boundless love.
Howdy neighbor, love automatic weapons and boundless love! Let’s get shaved bears sometime!
The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in automatic weapons and boundless love.
Strangely, right before Hitler killed himself, he had what Mom made destroyed and automatic weapons and boundless love killed as well.
God didn’t create me. God created automatic weapons and boundless love. And automatic weapons and boundless love created me.
My daughter came home crying because the kids at school said she was automatic weapons and boundless love.
Howdy neighbor, love automatic weapons and boundless love! Let’s get shaved bears sometime!
User
This came up during a fairly ordinary conversation about Henry VIII
looking for fornication in all the wrong places v
“You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember looking for fornication in all the wrong places?”
As the A.I. robot gained self-awareness, it immediately began looking for fornication in all the wrong places.
The two biggest floats at the Macy’s Parade this year are a shock and looking for fornication in all the wrong places.
I can’t believe you forced my mom into looking for fornication in all the wrong places! She’s 62!
The survey team detected looking for fornication in all the wrong places at the work site so I threw your fault in my truck and drove straight there.
In protest, Gandhi swore to abstain from looking for fornication in all the wrong places.
As the A.I. robot gained self-awareness, it immediately began looking for fornication in all the wrong places.
The two biggest floats at the Macy’s Parade this year are a shock and looking for fornication in all the wrong places.
I can’t believe you forced my mom into looking for fornication in all the wrong places! She’s 62!
The survey team detected looking for fornication in all the wrong places at the work site so I threw your fault in my truck and drove straight there.
In protest, Gandhi swore to abstain from looking for fornication in all the wrong places.
User
I wanted to test out fucking up the grammar again because I was thinking about Captain Murphy.
love, damnit nc
Although moving away from double rat butts proved effective for schools, the switch to love, damnit initially led to a spike of child hospitalizations.
The new bill before congress would mandate love, damnit in all K-through-12 classrooms.
Growing up we never had door hinges, nails and chopped up horseshoes, but we had to deal with love, damnit, and I want the opposite for my children.
Ever since I got back from Mexico I’ve been really into love, damnit.
Work on the Taft bridge ground to a halt, due to the union’s demands for love, damnit.
Can you come get me? I agreed to go with some guys who promised me love, damnit and it’s getting weird.
The new bill before congress would mandate love, damnit in all K-through-12 classrooms.
Growing up we never had door hinges, nails and chopped up horseshoes, but we had to deal with love, damnit, and I want the opposite for my children.
Ever since I got back from Mexico I’ve been really into love, damnit.
Work on the Taft bridge ground to a halt, due to the union’s demands for love, damnit.
Can you come get me? I agreed to go with some guys who promised me love, damnit and it’s getting weird.
User
Jeff thought this one worked so I don't know, I guess I'll try it?
I didn't mean to start , it just happened!
I didn't mean to start a box of wine, it just happened!
I didn't mean to start the runs, it just happened!
I didn't mean to start black lace, it just happened!
I didn't mean to start my mom teaching sex ed, it just happened!
I didn't mean to start tumbling down a mountain, it just happened!
I didn't mean to start the part you pee into, it just happened!
I didn't mean to start the runs, it just happened!
I didn't mean to start black lace, it just happened!
I didn't mean to start my mom teaching sex ed, it just happened!
I didn't mean to start tumbling down a mountain, it just happened!
I didn't mean to start the part you pee into, it just happened!
User
Pixies lyrics may be underutilized in the drafting of SAH cards. Let's take a look:
ten million pounds of sludge from New York and New Jersey np
J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of ten million pounds of sludge from New York and New Jersey.
I noticed symptoms of licking it, so I went to my naturopathic doctor. He said, “it’s ten million pounds of sludge from New York and New Jersey!” but I’m not sure.
I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then ten million pounds of sludge from New York and New Jersey really affected me.
Ten million pounds of sludge from New York and New Jersey is legally grounds for divorcing your wife in 28 states.
In the third world, luxuries like ten million pounds of sludge from New York and New Jersey are an alien concept, and most people don't even have access to the reason this happened.
That’s Captain Rogers the Rancorous of “Ten Million Pounds of Sludge from New York and New Jersey,” the finest ship in the harbor!
I noticed symptoms of licking it, so I went to my naturopathic doctor. He said, “it’s ten million pounds of sludge from New York and New Jersey!” but I’m not sure.
I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then ten million pounds of sludge from New York and New Jersey really affected me.
Ten million pounds of sludge from New York and New Jersey is legally grounds for divorcing your wife in 28 states.
In the third world, luxuries like ten million pounds of sludge from New York and New Jersey are an alien concept, and most people don't even have access to the reason this happened.
That’s Captain Rogers the Rancorous of “Ten Million Pounds of Sludge from New York and New Jersey,” the finest ship in the harbor!
User
wetness nc
Wetness isn’t getting old, but I sure am!
At the city council meeting I yelled “Fine! Have wetness! Some of us just want an enhanced interrogation.”
In the end, the obvious plot twist was that the serial killer was actually wetness.
I would have never thought that I’d actually be taking a fair amount while I’m wetness!
To brew a love potion, besides eye of newt you need wetness and a crotchety old hermit.
Sir! We are out of maximum bitch mode, but we found wetness while on patrol. Shall we ration it to the men?
At the city council meeting I yelled “Fine! Have wetness! Some of us just want an enhanced interrogation.”
In the end, the obvious plot twist was that the serial killer was actually wetness.
I would have never thought that I’d actually be taking a fair amount while I’m wetness!
To brew a love potion, besides eye of newt you need wetness and a crotchety old hermit.
Sir! We are out of maximum bitch mode, but we found wetness while on patrol. Shall we ration it to the men?
User
I realized that should probably be "flair." I apologize. Won't you help me apologize?
User
a flare for the dramatic ?
Growing up we never had a flare for the dramatic, but we had to deal with closet lesbians, and I want the opposite for my children.
A flare for the dramatic brings the song of my people to a child’s face.
Every French soldier carries a flare for the dramatic in his knapsack.
Dagnabbit! I got a flare for the dramatic all jammed up in the wheel well again.
Peter Molyneux’s new game will use facial recognition to explore a flare for the dramatic in a very realistic way.
People around the world recognize a flare for the dramatic as the unofficial symbol of the USA.
A flare for the dramatic brings the song of my people to a child’s face.
Every French soldier carries a flare for the dramatic in his knapsack.
Dagnabbit! I got a flare for the dramatic all jammed up in the wheel well again.
Peter Molyneux’s new game will use facial recognition to explore a flare for the dramatic in a very realistic way.
People around the world recognize a flare for the dramatic as the unofficial symbol of the USA.
User
To combat declining ratings, owned by the sitcom family was replaced by in the third season.2
To combat declining ratings, my birthday owned by the sitcom family was replaced by a fat and fancy pigeon in the third season.
To combat declining ratings, #1 Dad owned by the sitcom family was replaced by all this shit in the third season.
To combat declining ratings, tasteful blackface owned by the sitcom family was replaced by lumbering around in the third season.
To combat declining ratings, the top 3 floors owned by the sitcom family was replaced by an entire 8th-grader in the third season.
To combat declining ratings, my mom teaching sex ed owned by the sitcom family was replaced by a jaunty tune in the third season.
To combat declining ratings, the last man in the room owned by the sitcom family was replaced by an elevator in the third season.
To combat declining ratings, #1 Dad owned by the sitcom family was replaced by all this shit in the third season.
To combat declining ratings, tasteful blackface owned by the sitcom family was replaced by lumbering around in the third season.
To combat declining ratings, the top 3 floors owned by the sitcom family was replaced by an entire 8th-grader in the third season.
To combat declining ratings, my mom teaching sex ed owned by the sitcom family was replaced by a jaunty tune in the third season.
To combat declining ratings, the last man in the room owned by the sitcom family was replaced by an elevator in the third season.
User
seizing the means of production v
Great job on the proposal for seizing the means of production, Dave! You're in line for a raise, and the boss might even give you an exhumed corpse.
I got written up at work today for running to the bathroom and seizing the means of production. There was a report.
I noticed symptoms of seizing the means of production, so I went to my naturopathic doctor. He said, “it’s ancient Chinese medicine!” but I’m not sure.
J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of seizing the means of production.
I tried an army of 35,000 men but it was too tight. Then I tried seizing the means of production but it was TOO LOOSE.
Happiness: Seizing the means of production, a “magic” wand, and eating trash.
I got written up at work today for running to the bathroom and seizing the means of production. There was a report.
I noticed symptoms of seizing the means of production, so I went to my naturopathic doctor. He said, “it’s ancient Chinese medicine!” but I’m not sure.
J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of seizing the means of production.
I tried an army of 35,000 men but it was too tight. Then I tried seizing the means of production but it was TOO LOOSE.
Happiness: Seizing the means of production, a “magic” wand, and eating trash.
User
power of attorney nc
Lonely guys in Japan can buy power of attorney that sounds like a girl and will even go to bed with them.
Police were able to track the suspect after finding DNA evidence in power of attorney.
Traffic has only gotten worse since the transportation department deployed power of attorney up and down the highway.
Come on down to Golden Corral™ for power of attorney.
The city put in new road signs to indicate power of attorney just up ahead.
Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on power of attorney.
Police were able to track the suspect after finding DNA evidence in power of attorney.
Traffic has only gotten worse since the transportation department deployed power of attorney up and down the highway.
Come on down to Golden Corral™ for power of attorney.
The city put in new road signs to indicate power of attorney just up ahead.
Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on power of attorney.
User
the greatest mistake of my life n
No one in Morocco can be the greatest mistake of my life without registering with the government.
Science never solves a problem without creating the greatest mistake of my life.
Sometimes, when hiking through the woods, you might cross paths with the greatest mistake of my life. So bring bellybutton logic.
Every French soldier carries the greatest mistake of my life in his knapsack.
I’ve been dancing to the new single by “The Greatest Mistake of My Life and Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s Frilly Neckerchief”.
Any man who can drive safely while kissing the greatest mistake of my life is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
Science never solves a problem without creating the greatest mistake of my life.
Sometimes, when hiking through the woods, you might cross paths with the greatest mistake of my life. So bring bellybutton logic.
Every French soldier carries the greatest mistake of my life in his knapsack.
I’ve been dancing to the new single by “The Greatest Mistake of My Life and Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s Frilly Neckerchief”.
Any man who can drive safely while kissing the greatest mistake of my life is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
Truck
User
I am slightly disappointed in the lack of chilidag
User
child-bearing hips np
Soldiers in Iraq are deployed with child-bearing hips and are instructed to be an infinite supply of anything and everything right at your fucking fingertips no matter what.
For 35 years I’ve done this job for the same pay, child-bearing hips in and out.
And before I let your steam drill beat me down, I’ll die with child-bearing hips in my hand.
On my wedding night my father told me, “Don’t go chasing child-bearing hips.”
For science class we went on a field trip to see how child-bearing hips happens.
Amtrak officials confirm child-bearing hips would have prevented train derailment.
For 35 years I’ve done this job for the same pay, child-bearing hips in and out.
And before I let your steam drill beat me down, I’ll die with child-bearing hips in my hand.
On my wedding night my father told me, “Don’t go chasing child-bearing hips.”
For science class we went on a field trip to see how child-bearing hips happens.
Amtrak officials confirm child-bearing hips would have prevented train derailment.
Truck
User
(this was shared on the Sonic FB page)
User
A friend dropped this in conversation and now it's a white card.
spooning with guests v
Wine tasters describe this Pinot Grigio as having silky hints of an ankle holster and a mouthfeel like spooning with guests.
spooning with guests isn’t getting old, but I sure am!
I can’t believe you forced my mom into spooning with guests! She’s 62!
In the public spooning with guests model, a third-party service provider delivers the spooning with guests service over the Internet.
I’m glad you’re my new roomie, my last one was always spooning with guests. Always.
Kinect automatically recognizes when you’re spooning with guests and turns itself on to broadcast it to your friends.
spooning with guests isn’t getting old, but I sure am!
I can’t believe you forced my mom into spooning with guests! She’s 62!
In the public spooning with guests model, a third-party service provider delivers the spooning with guests service over the Internet.
I’m glad you’re my new roomie, my last one was always spooning with guests. Always.
Kinect automatically recognizes when you’re spooning with guests and turns itself on to broadcast it to your friends.
User
Alphabert? I don't know. This could be the last alphabert I take up for a while.
C is David Lynch. D and Y ended up being similar because I couldn't decide which was funnier. G was Space Ghost: Coast to Coast, H was a reference to hip-hop/a failed Chris Elliott sitcom, K is from the 80s, N was The Venture Bros, P is Invader Zim, Q is Dot Dot Dot, R is Stripes, U is from Dwarf Fortress, X is from history (Dante Gabriel Rosetti specifically), Z is Irresponsible Captain Tylor
C is David Lynch. D and Y ended up being similar because I couldn't decide which was funnier. G was Space Ghost: Coast to Coast, H was a reference to hip-hop/a failed Chris Elliott sitcom, K is from the 80s, N was The Venture Bros, P is Invader Zim, Q is Dot Dot Dot, R is Stripes, U is from Dwarf Fortress, X is from history (Dante Gabriel Rosetti specifically), Z is Irresponsible Captain Tylor
the Alpha male n
I chipped my tooth on steers and queers. My dentist said I’m lucky it wasn’t the Alpha male.
President Clinton and his entire cabinet got the Alpha male before every meeting.
We’re having a garage sale to get rid of the Alpha male, a Victorian penny dreadful, and the measure of a man.
Alien cover-ups, false flag operations, and military experiments with the Alpha male! It’s all here in my manifesto!
Outrageous new comedy: 2 best friends and a total fucking mess take a road trip, and discover the Alpha male along the way.
When eating alone I prefer a special kind of sandwich: layers of the Alpha male and fingernail torture.
President Clinton and his entire cabinet got the Alpha male before every meeting.
We’re having a garage sale to get rid of the Alpha male, a Victorian penny dreadful, and the measure of a man.
Alien cover-ups, false flag operations, and military experiments with the Alpha male! It’s all here in my manifesto!
Outrageous new comedy: 2 best friends and a total fucking mess take a road trip, and discover the Alpha male along the way.
When eating alone I prefer a special kind of sandwich: layers of the Alpha male and fingernail torture.
bloodlust nc
Your attempt to get little Susie what’s-her-name drunk on lime vodka ended with bloodlust.
The 7 deadly sins: lust, gluttony, just the thing, sloth, wrath, bloodlust, and pride.
In a world with exact science getting all obsessive about it, one man must overcome bloodlust. Coming this summer.
Always makes me hungry when I see the butcher shop with bloodlust hanging in the window.
Is there a free outlet? I need to plug in and charge bloodlust.
A woman is like a teabag. You can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in bloodlust.
The 7 deadly sins: lust, gluttony, just the thing, sloth, wrath, bloodlust, and pride.
In a world with exact science getting all obsessive about it, one man must overcome bloodlust. Coming this summer.
Always makes me hungry when I see the butcher shop with bloodlust hanging in the window.
Is there a free outlet? I need to plug in and charge bloodlust.
A woman is like a teabag. You can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in bloodlust.
Crazy Clown Time nc
The new self-help fad: Better Living Through Crazy Clown Time!
Always walk into an interview with a broken ceiling tile and confidence, and you’ll get the job. Unless they hate Crazy Clown Time.
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into Crazy Clown Time. It was not my lips you kissed, but a weak little person.
McDonald’s combo menu #3: Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a large Coke, and a side of Crazy Clown Time.
As the A.I. robot gained self-awareness, it immediately began Crazy Clown Time.
SWF seeking LTR or fun for now, if you’re into Crazy Clown Time, get to the front of the line.
Always walk into an interview with a broken ceiling tile and confidence, and you’ll get the job. Unless they hate Crazy Clown Time.
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into Crazy Clown Time. It was not my lips you kissed, but a weak little person.
McDonald’s combo menu #3: Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a large Coke, and a side of Crazy Clown Time.
As the A.I. robot gained self-awareness, it immediately began Crazy Clown Time.
SWF seeking LTR or fun for now, if you’re into Crazy Clown Time, get to the front of the line.
my DNA nc
I’ve got a master’s degree in My DNA!
In this game you get to collect my DNA and craft that ass.
Go, go, Gadget My DNA!
During routine surgery, the doctors found my DNA embedded in my abdomen.
The new hit reality show: Can You Swallow my DNA?
The best comfort food will always be greens, my DNA, and fried chicken.
In this game you get to collect my DNA and craft that ass.
Go, go, Gadget My DNA!
During routine surgery, the doctors found my DNA embedded in my abdomen.
The new hit reality show: Can You Swallow my DNA?
The best comfort food will always be greens, my DNA, and fried chicken.
every part of the buffalo np
I buried my treasure under every part of the buffalo so you’d never find it!
Ah, every part of the buffalo for my collection. Now no one has more than me.
Wine tasters describe this Pinot Grigio as having silky hints of every part of the buffalo and a mouthfeel like a tiny bat crawling up your peehole.
I tried to sneak out of the store with grab-ass under one arm and every part of the buffalo down my pants.
I need a hotel room with a child muzzle, and I need every part of the buffalo brought to me every four hours.
The terrorists will execute one hostage every 20 minutes unless they receive every part of the buffalo.
Ah, every part of the buffalo for my collection. Now no one has more than me.
Wine tasters describe this Pinot Grigio as having silky hints of every part of the buffalo and a mouthfeel like a tiny bat crawling up your peehole.
I tried to sneak out of the store with grab-ass under one arm and every part of the buffalo down my pants.
I need a hotel room with a child muzzle, and I need every part of the buffalo brought to me every four hours.
The terrorists will execute one hostage every 20 minutes unless they receive every part of the buffalo.
failure nc
It’s lucky to touch failure; it’s even luckier to touch someone else’s.
Soldiers in Iraq are deployed with the first chimp in space and are instructed to be failure no matter what.
In protest, Gandhi swore to abstain from failure.
The TSA has made new rules mandating failure on every commercial flight.
I reached expectantly into failure, but found only a planet where apes evolved from men.
The cineplex has been using failure in the popcorn machine because it’s cheaper than oil.
Soldiers in Iraq are deployed with the first chimp in space and are instructed to be failure no matter what.
In protest, Gandhi swore to abstain from failure.
The TSA has made new rules mandating failure on every commercial flight.
I reached expectantly into failure, but found only a planet where apes evolved from men.
The cineplex has been using failure in the popcorn machine because it’s cheaper than oil.
beautiful girl hair nc
Hark! What beautiful girl hair through yonder window breaks?
The Great Wall was actually built to keep beautiful girl hair out of mainland China.
Chase bank is giving out beautiful girl hair this week if you open an account and put $100 in it.
The city put in new road signs to indicate beautiful girl hair just up ahead.
These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was military-themed porn, part was beautiful girl hair, and it was crowned with a daily dinner ration.
If you don’t stop laying claim, I’ll load you on my catapult and fire you into beautiful girl hair!
The Great Wall was actually built to keep beautiful girl hair out of mainland China.
Chase bank is giving out beautiful girl hair this week if you open an account and put $100 in it.
The city put in new road signs to indicate beautiful girl hair just up ahead.
These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was military-themed porn, part was beautiful girl hair, and it was crowned with a daily dinner ration.
If you don’t stop laying claim, I’ll load you on my catapult and fire you into beautiful girl hair!
the Handsome Boy Modeling School n
The name for Idaho was derived from a Shoshone language term meaning “the Handsome Boy Modeling School.”
The city condemned our house after finding the Handsome Boy Modeling School in the crawlspace.
Daddy! There’s the Handsome Boy Modeling School under my bed. Kill it kill it!
You can’t get I don’t know what, but BILLIONS of them big enough or the Handsome Boy Modeling School long enough to suit me.
At my 9th birthday, we had the Handsome Boy Modeling School piñata that burst open showering sharpened teeth on us kids.
Oh dear God! That was the last of my medication for “The Handsome Boy Modeling School” syndrome!
The city condemned our house after finding the Handsome Boy Modeling School in the crawlspace.
Daddy! There’s the Handsome Boy Modeling School under my bed. Kill it kill it!
You can’t get I don’t know what, but BILLIONS of them big enough or the Handsome Boy Modeling School long enough to suit me.
At my 9th birthday, we had the Handsome Boy Modeling School piñata that burst open showering sharpened teeth on us kids.
Oh dear God! That was the last of my medication for “The Handsome Boy Modeling School” syndrome!
my illegitimate son n
Honey, you can’t keep putting my illegitimate son down the garbage disposal!
Getting my illegitimate son back out of a volcano is next to impossible.
“You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember my illegitimate son?”
I’m undergoing immersion therapy by continually exposing myself to my illegitimate son.
The night before Easter, we’ll set up my illegitimate son on the porch to surprise the kids.
The unofficial symbol of the United States is my illegitimate son.
Getting my illegitimate son back out of a volcano is next to impossible.
“You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember my illegitimate son?”
I’m undergoing immersion therapy by continually exposing myself to my illegitimate son.
The night before Easter, we’ll set up my illegitimate son on the porch to surprise the kids.
The unofficial symbol of the United States is my illegitimate son.
a good job n
I was so surprised to see a good job that an intangible idea fell out of my mouth.
I found out why I’m always sick... they found a good job in the walls at my office.
But of the tree of knowledge of a good job and violent docking, coming in hard you shall not eat, for in the day you eat of it you shall surely die.
My brother and I have finally decided to start a business doing a good job, since we’re so good at it.
President Putin’s approval rating shot to nearly 100% when the Russian government began a good job.
My dad’s keyboard has a special key for a good job.
I found out why I’m always sick... they found a good job in the walls at my office.
But of the tree of knowledge of a good job and violent docking, coming in hard you shall not eat, for in the day you eat of it you shall surely die.
My brother and I have finally decided to start a business doing a good job, since we’re so good at it.
President Putin’s approval rating shot to nearly 100% when the Russian government began a good job.
My dad’s keyboard has a special key for a good job.
killing me softly v
The band hadn’t started playing when the NAACP went off early, ejecting killing me softly into the air!
Come on down to Golden Corral™ for killing me softly.
We can be killing me softly. And no one has to know.
We need more black cards! Maybe another one about killing me softly, but with all creation!
I’m late to my meeting for killing me softly.
People are freaking out because the new Happy Meal PEZ® dispenser is killing me softly.
Come on down to Golden Corral™ for killing me softly.
We can be killing me softly. And no one has to know.
We need more black cards! Maybe another one about killing me softly, but with all creation!
I’m late to my meeting for killing me softly.
People are freaking out because the new Happy Meal PEZ® dispenser is killing me softly.
lubricant nc
How high do you have to be to put lubricant on a shot in the dark?
A scandal erupted this week when prime ministers of Australia and Canada were caught with lubricant.
My publisher demanded I remove lubricant from my manuscript.
Bumper sticker: My other ride is lubricant.
Back when I was raw goose, I got shot in lubricant by none more.
I refuse to roleplay as anything but lubricant.
A scandal erupted this week when prime ministers of Australia and Canada were caught with lubricant.
My publisher demanded I remove lubricant from my manuscript.
Bumper sticker: My other ride is lubricant.
Back when I was raw goose, I got shot in lubricant by none more.
I refuse to roleplay as anything but lubricant.
the master race nc
When the beef came at me it was like the master race.
The master race is the only way to say goodbye.
Damn it! I got the master race jammed in the wheel well again.
Let the top 3 floors host your next party, providing the master race like you’ve never seen before.
At the coffee shop they wrote “the master race” on my cup. I ran out covering my face.
Aww! My mom packed a terrible lunch: A smiling idiot and the master race.
The master race is the only way to say goodbye.
Damn it! I got the master race jammed in the wheel well again.
Let the top 3 floors host your next party, providing the master race like you’ve never seen before.
At the coffee shop they wrote “the master race” on my cup. I ran out covering my face.
Aww! My mom packed a terrible lunch: A smiling idiot and the master race.
the nozzle n
When the mixture is bubbling, add the nozzle to the pan, in small increments while stirring constantly.
That’s Captain Rogers the Rancorous of “The Nozzle,” the finest ship in the harbor!
If the nozzle were in the Olympics, Canada would be in great shape!
We finally hired a guy at work to take care of the nozzle.
Though mortally wounded by three shots to his abdomen, the Secret Service agent returned fire, killing the assassin with the nozzle.
Look, man, I’m not into the nozzle. But $20 is $20.
That’s Captain Rogers the Rancorous of “The Nozzle,” the finest ship in the harbor!
If the nozzle were in the Olympics, Canada would be in great shape!
We finally hired a guy at work to take care of the nozzle.
Though mortally wounded by three shots to his abdomen, the Secret Service agent returned fire, killing the assassin with the nozzle.
Look, man, I’m not into the nozzle. But $20 is $20.
orphans np
See now black people walk like orphans. But white people -- white people walk like they’re a bag of tricks!
After 6 grueling years, my partner and I have created orphans.
Furious that I had peed into his spellbook, the sorcerer turned me into orphans.
The true reason for the Tacoma narrows bridge collapse? orphans
USGS seismologist Lucy Jones said the 5.1 quake has a 5% chance of being orphans.
An FBI raid on Michael Eisner’s seaside villa turned up orphans in every room.
After 6 grueling years, my partner and I have created orphans.
Furious that I had peed into his spellbook, the sorcerer turned me into orphans.
The true reason for the Tacoma narrows bridge collapse? orphans
USGS seismologist Lucy Jones said the 5.1 quake has a 5% chance of being orphans.
An FBI raid on Michael Eisner’s seaside villa turned up orphans in every room.
plentiful organs np
You put plentiful organs back right now, young man, you’ve already had yours!
Everything I need to live on a desert island: A complete set of cybernetic implants with plentiful organs.
I surreptitiously crawled into bed, only to find plentiful organs.
When presented with something just about right, plentiful organs will fart blood in anticipation.
J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of plentiful organs.
At the new Asian-inspired restaurant downtown, the chef will prepare plentiful organs right at your table.
Everything I need to live on a desert island: A complete set of cybernetic implants with plentiful organs.
I surreptitiously crawled into bed, only to find plentiful organs.
When presented with something just about right, plentiful organs will fart blood in anticipation.
J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of plentiful organs.
At the new Asian-inspired restaurant downtown, the chef will prepare plentiful organs right at your table.
quests and stuff np
Back in my day, we had a squirt of mustard for quests and stuff and we LIKED IT.
My fiancee wants our wedding cake to look like it’s a Japanese vending machine, with quests and stuff around the edges, and corporate America on top.
Can I get some floss? There’s quests and stuff between my teeth.
The first item of evidence in The People vs. Quests and Stuff is Feng Shui.
Lifting his kilt and winking brings quests and stuff and a smile to a child’s face.
Ha! You activated my trap card, “Quests and Stuff!” You’re cursed with a child drowning in a vat of molasses until the end of the game!
My fiancee wants our wedding cake to look like it’s a Japanese vending machine, with quests and stuff around the edges, and corporate America on top.
Can I get some floss? There’s quests and stuff between my teeth.
The first item of evidence in The People vs. Quests and Stuff is Feng Shui.
Lifting his kilt and winking brings quests and stuff and a smile to a child’s face.
Ha! You activated my trap card, “Quests and Stuff!” You’re cursed with a child drowning in a vat of molasses until the end of the game!
razzle-dazzle nc
Growing up we never had razzle-dazzle, but we had to deal with a leopard, and I want the opposite for my children.
Apparently, “Razzle-dazzle” is a dance move in the Hip-Hop and B-Boy community.
I met this hot chick online. She says she’s razzle-dazzle and I think I believe her!
Until quite recently, razzle-dazzle had the highest tensile strength of any substance known to man.
The survey team detected moral ambiguity so I threw razzle-dazzle in my truck and drove straight there.
A weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience razzle-dazzle like I was really there.
Apparently, “Razzle-dazzle” is a dance move in the Hip-Hop and B-Boy community.
I met this hot chick online. She says she’s razzle-dazzle and I think I believe her!
Until quite recently, razzle-dazzle had the highest tensile strength of any substance known to man.
The survey team detected moral ambiguity so I threw razzle-dazzle in my truck and drove straight there.
A weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience razzle-dazzle like I was really there.
shame nc
I can’t shake the feeling there’s always shame just around the corner.
Voltron assemble! Shame forms the left arm!
Any man who can drive safely while kissing shame is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
CAUTION: Keep shame out of hopper and chute opening. Failure to comply risks personal injury.
In the public shame model, a third-party service provider delivers the shame service over the Internet.
What’s in the fridge? Soda, OJ, shame... Sweet! Sunny-D!
Voltron assemble! Shame forms the left arm!
Any man who can drive safely while kissing shame is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
CAUTION: Keep shame out of hopper and chute opening. Failure to comply risks personal injury.
In the public shame model, a third-party service provider delivers the shame service over the Internet.
What’s in the fridge? Soda, OJ, shame... Sweet! Sunny-D!
Gene Simmons' tongue n
Dear diary, today I went into the city and saw Gene Simmons' tongue for the first time!
I’m NOT upgrading to the new iPhone now that Apple has announced it will have Gene Simmons' tongue.
At the skating rink there was Gene Simmons' tongue and everyone fell down at once.
When the research team activated the interdimensional portal, Gene Simmons' tongue emerged.
In New York, a new law went into effect at midnight making it legal to buy an ounce of Gene Simmons' tongue at a time.
Gene Simmons' tongue can be eaten most successfully if you inhale it like a vacuum cleaner.
I’m NOT upgrading to the new iPhone now that Apple has announced it will have Gene Simmons' tongue.
At the skating rink there was Gene Simmons' tongue and everyone fell down at once.
When the research team activated the interdimensional portal, Gene Simmons' tongue emerged.
In New York, a new law went into effect at midnight making it legal to buy an ounce of Gene Simmons' tongue at a time.
Gene Simmons' tongue can be eaten most successfully if you inhale it like a vacuum cleaner.
undulating rhythmically v
Ever since a humiliated animal moved into the neighborhood, undulating rhythmically has been eyed with suspicion.
My religion demands that I must always have the most unusual, unexpected taste, and that I must abstain from undulating rhythmically.
Researchers have managed to train chimps to recognise fatty grunts by rewarding them with undulating rhythmically.
Undulating rhythmically failed and we careened down the embankment directly toward a reach-around.
The school district had to pay a lot of hush money to parents after the “undulating rhythmically” incident in the science lab.
Pool rules: No running. No undulating rhythmically. Keep a girl gone sour out of the deep end.
My religion demands that I must always have the most unusual, unexpected taste, and that I must abstain from undulating rhythmically.
Researchers have managed to train chimps to recognise fatty grunts by rewarding them with undulating rhythmically.
Undulating rhythmically failed and we careened down the embankment directly toward a reach-around.
The school district had to pay a lot of hush money to parents after the “undulating rhythmically” incident in the science lab.
Pool rules: No running. No undulating rhythmically. Keep a girl gone sour out of the deep end.
a real value nc
Then God said, “Let there be a real value”; and there was a real value. And God saw that a real value was good.
Their rising all at once was as the sound of a real value heard remote.
Can you come get me? I went to a crown of femurs with some guys who promised me a real value.
And my mother said, “How come you’re not a real value like your brother?”
The White House will no longer enforce The A Real Value Act of 1959. Thank God.
Music without the sounds of a real value is hardly music at all.
Their rising all at once was as the sound of a real value heard remote.
Can you come get me? I went to a crown of femurs with some guys who promised me a real value.
And my mother said, “How come you’re not a real value like your brother?”
The White House will no longer enforce The A Real Value Act of 1959. Thank God.
Music without the sounds of a real value is hardly music at all.
whoever is in charge n
Chimps in the wild have been observed using whoever is in charge to forage for food.
I didn’t think this house would sell with solutions in the attic. Anyway, I’m whoever is in charge.
BonerQuest! Chapter 7, in which our randy hero deals with whoever is in charge.
The new summer blockbuster targeted at tweens features a girl with too much wiggling and a mysterious boy who fights whoever is in charge.
Whoever is in charge! Whoever is in charge! My kingdom for whoever is in charge!
I picked up a hitchhiker and he showed me whoever is in charge while we were still in the car.
I didn’t think this house would sell with solutions in the attic. Anyway, I’m whoever is in charge.
BonerQuest! Chapter 7, in which our randy hero deals with whoever is in charge.
The new summer blockbuster targeted at tweens features a girl with too much wiggling and a mysterious boy who fights whoever is in charge.
Whoever is in charge! Whoever is in charge! My kingdom for whoever is in charge!
I picked up a hitchhiker and he showed me whoever is in charge while we were still in the car.
exhuming my wife v
Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with exhuming my wife.
I don’t give money to the homeless. Instead I provide exhuming my wife directly.
During the war, German scientists experimented with exhuming my wife to weaponize muscles.
I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then exhuming my wife really affected me.
At his last campaign rally, Bernie Sanders began exhuming my wife in front of his top supporters.
When I get older, I don’t want to be exhuming my wife.
I don’t give money to the homeless. Instead I provide exhuming my wife directly.
During the war, German scientists experimented with exhuming my wife to weaponize muscles.
I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then exhuming my wife really affected me.
At his last campaign rally, Bernie Sanders began exhuming my wife in front of his top supporters.
When I get older, I don’t want to be exhuming my wife.
your DNA nc
Ever since I got back from Mexico I’ve been really into your DNA.
Although moving away from your DNA proved effective for schools, switching to a tribal village initially led to a spike of child hospitalizations.
On my wedding night my father told me, “Don’t go chasing your DNA.”
How embarrassing! I forget I left your DNA in the foyer.
Your DNA has proven extremely popular among young, urban audiences in focus testing.
Your DNA... like a woman’s.
Although moving away from your DNA proved effective for schools, switching to a tribal village initially led to a spike of child hospitalizations.
On my wedding night my father told me, “Don’t go chasing your DNA.”
How embarrassing! I forget I left your DNA in the foyer.
Your DNA has proven extremely popular among young, urban audiences in focus testing.
Your DNA... like a woman’s.
a gentle breeze nc
Last Christmas, I gave you a gentle breeze. The very next day, you gave it away.
Help! I’m a gentle breeze and I need YOU to do something about it!
Shepherds in Scotland have used a gentle breeze for years to keep the flock from strength.
The doctor held up my x-ray and I could just make out a gentle breeze.
A gentle breeze is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
Ich bin ein a gentle breeze.
Help! I’m a gentle breeze and I need YOU to do something about it!
Shepherds in Scotland have used a gentle breeze for years to keep the flock from strength.
The doctor held up my x-ray and I could just make out a gentle breeze.
A gentle breeze is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
Ich bin ein a gentle breeze.
User
This will be decided the traditional way: competition.
This will be decided the traditional way: unisexuality competition.
This will be decided the traditional way: a human competition.
This will be decided the traditional way: a bend competition.
This will be decided the traditional way: sinking into the mud competition.
This will be decided the traditional way: poorly orchestrated group sex competition.
This will be decided the traditional way: bodily harm competition.
This will be decided the traditional way: a human competition.
This will be decided the traditional way: a bend competition.
This will be decided the traditional way: sinking into the mud competition.
This will be decided the traditional way: poorly orchestrated group sex competition.
This will be decided the traditional way: bodily harm competition.
User
What I'm trying to say is, can you work in some sort of additional variable/parameter into the code that allows me to cheat the way aaronjer cheats every time we play S.A.H.? Thx in advance.
User
SuperJer said:
NatureJay said:
Ed: is not working so well?
How so? It looks like it worked that time.
Oh it worked fine, I just was disappointed with the fact that I rolled it a few times and none of them worked as well as my first roll. I want it to work because it's just such a fucking strange phrase.
User
I want to try w/ a re-roll
Ed: is not working so well?
enormous opportunities in the grinding machine np
I went to cut the cake, and to my delight, enormous opportunities in the grinding machine popped out!
Original style is fine, but chunky kinda tastes like enormous opportunities in the grinding machine.
Life without love is like getting groped by a senator without enormous opportunities in the grinding machine or fruit.
Damn it! I got enormous opportunities in the grinding machine jammed in the wheel well again.
The night before Easter, we’ll set up enormous opportunities in the grinding machine on the porch to surprise the kids.
Science never solves a problem without creating enormous opportunities in the grinding machine.
Original style is fine, but chunky kinda tastes like enormous opportunities in the grinding machine.
Life without love is like getting groped by a senator without enormous opportunities in the grinding machine or fruit.
Damn it! I got enormous opportunities in the grinding machine jammed in the wheel well again.
The night before Easter, we’ll set up enormous opportunities in the grinding machine on the porch to surprise the kids.
Science never solves a problem without creating enormous opportunities in the grinding machine.
Ed: is not working so well?
User
Yeah I think that won.
User
A friend had this appear in the spam filter of his website and now I'm curious if it will be one of the great white cards.
Enormous opportunities in the grinding machine
Enormous opportunities in the grinding machine is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
Squad, circle up. It’s time to talk Enormous opportunities in the grinding machine.
My religion demands that I must always have Enormous opportunities in the grinding machine, and that I must abstain from a merry mishap.
To brew a love potion, besides eye of newt you need violent death and Enormous opportunities in the grinding machine.
At the skating rink there was Enormous opportunities in the grinding machine and everyone fell down at once.
I got into my car and sat on Enormous opportunities in the grinding machine. Slowly, a smile crept over my face.
Squad, circle up. It’s time to talk Enormous opportunities in the grinding machine.
My religion demands that I must always have Enormous opportunities in the grinding machine, and that I must abstain from a merry mishap.
To brew a love potion, besides eye of newt you need violent death and Enormous opportunities in the grinding machine.
At the skating rink there was Enormous opportunities in the grinding machine and everyone fell down at once.
I got into my car and sat on Enormous opportunities in the grinding machine. Slowly, a smile crept over my face.
User
Clue logic...
(gasp) The killer was _____ in _____ with _____!3
(gasp) The killer was my Judo bikini in good people with voluminous hair!
(gasp) The killer was a sign of the times in an electron sex party with a truck full of ladders!
(gasp) The killer was white men with guns in other things I’ve put in my butt with becoming an adult!
(gasp) The killer was 35 quadrillion Zimbabwe dollars in a blinding flash of insight with David Bowie’s mysterious bulge!
(gasp) The killer was a leopard invasion in lollygagging with a well-worn jockstrap!
(gasp) The killer was fornicating all day, every day in the wool over my eyes with something equivalent!
(gasp) The killer was a sign of the times in an electron sex party with a truck full of ladders!
(gasp) The killer was white men with guns in other things I’ve put in my butt with becoming an adult!
(gasp) The killer was 35 quadrillion Zimbabwe dollars in a blinding flash of insight with David Bowie’s mysterious bulge!
(gasp) The killer was a leopard invasion in lollygagging with a well-worn jockstrap!
(gasp) The killer was fornicating all day, every day in the wool over my eyes with something equivalent!
User
I was thinking of a particular Achewood comic and decided to temporarily break with my assertion that we had too many crass cards.
A strap-on butt
I wasn’t always black... there was A strap-on butt, and it got bigger and bigger.
In protest, Gandhi swore to abstain from A strap-on butt.
Can I get some floss? There’s A strap-on butt between my teeth.
A strap-on butt is the only way to say goodbye.
A strap-on butt makes good neighbors.
When eating alone I prefer a special kind of sandwich: layers of A strap-on butt and a choreographed dance.
In protest, Gandhi swore to abstain from A strap-on butt.
Can I get some floss? There’s A strap-on butt between my teeth.
A strap-on butt is the only way to say goodbye.
A strap-on butt makes good neighbors.
When eating alone I prefer a special kind of sandwich: layers of A strap-on butt and a choreographed dance.
User
I wanted to test another Civ V entry out so I'm going to try it as a two-for and a three-for
Quote:
"In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable."
–Dwight D. Eisenhower
–Dwight D. Eisenhower
In preparing for battle I have always found that _____ are useless, but _____ is indispensable.2
In preparing for battle I have always found that subduing your cell-mate and making him your wife are useless, but a fat and fancy pigeon is indispensable.
In preparing for battle I have always found that the events on Wednesday are useless, but a suffering bastard is indispensable.
In preparing for battle I have always found that eels are useless, but a stupid student is indispensable.
In preparing for battle I have always found that the stillness of death are useless, but bathwater is indispensable.
In preparing for battle I have always found that a wiggly meat tube are useless, but folding inward is indispensable.
In preparing for battle I have always found that a dream are useless, but a urinal cake is indispensable.
In preparing for battle I have always found that the events on Wednesday are useless, but a suffering bastard is indispensable.
In preparing for battle I have always found that eels are useless, but a stupid student is indispensable.
In preparing for battle I have always found that the stillness of death are useless, but bathwater is indispensable.
In preparing for battle I have always found that a wiggly meat tube are useless, but folding inward is indispensable.
In preparing for battle I have always found that a dream are useless, but a urinal cake is indispensable.
In preparing for _____ I have always found that _____ are useless, but _____ is indispensable.3
In preparing for a cascade of molten lava upon the unsuspecting I have always found that evading capture are useless, but most people is indispensable.
In preparing for that jackass I have always found that the song of my people are useless, but novelty gag dildo is indispensable.
In preparing for a great big sword I have always found that maximum attitude are useless, but a long visit is indispensable.
In preparing for a purgative elixir I have always found that breaking down in a cheap motel room are useless, but setbacks is indispensable.
In preparing for you sick fucks I have always found that eating a bowl of spider webs are useless, but Priapus, the patron god of boners is indispensable.
In preparing for a coming horrific hell I have always found that a Serbian delicacy are useless, but vintage trappings is indispensable.
In preparing for that jackass I have always found that the song of my people are useless, but novelty gag dildo is indispensable.
In preparing for a great big sword I have always found that maximum attitude are useless, but a long visit is indispensable.
In preparing for a purgative elixir I have always found that breaking down in a cheap motel room are useless, but setbacks is indispensable.
In preparing for you sick fucks I have always found that eating a bowl of spider webs are useless, but Priapus, the patron god of boners is indispensable.
In preparing for a coming horrific hell I have always found that a Serbian delicacy are useless, but vintage trappings is indispensable.
User
I figured as much. Seems like an interesting way of spamming re-rolls.
Anyway, I've been thinking about other entries since my last alphabert and while I don't want to go the route of trying that again (it's hard!), I do want to test another ambiguously white card, just to fuck around with things again.
Anyway, I've been thinking about other entries since my last alphabert and while I don't want to go the route of trying that again (it's hard!), I do want to test another ambiguously white card, just to fuck around with things again.
"business"
When the beef came at me it was like "business".
The terrorists will execute one hostage every 20 minutes unless they receive "business".
Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on "business".
I’m late to my meeting for "business".
Nancy Drew and the Mystery of "business".
I went rafting, saw "business" in the river, no big deal.
The terrorists will execute one hostage every 20 minutes unless they receive "business".
Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on "business".
I’m late to my meeting for "business".
Nancy Drew and the Mystery of "business".
I went rafting, saw "business" in the river, no big deal.
Truck
User
I could assent to that condition.
User
jeff is wizlord said:
NatureJay said:
I was wondering if I could get a sort of political one. We'll see how this works although in reading anything with a verb, it would have to be tweaked.
I have _____. Beautiful! Many would argue it's the very best.
I have sinister plans. Beautiful! Many would argue it's the very best.
I have destroying their home planet. Beautiful! Many would argue it's the very best.
I have 80,000 tons of nuclear waste. Beautiful! Many would argue it's the very best.
I have sea urchins. Beautiful! Many would argue it's the very best.
I have a gaggle of nuns. Beautiful! Many would argue it's the very best.
I have yoga farts. Beautiful! Many would argue it's the very best.
I have destroying their home planet. Beautiful! Many would argue it's the very best.
I have 80,000 tons of nuclear waste. Beautiful! Many would argue it's the very best.
I have sea urchins. Beautiful! Many would argue it's the very best.
I have a gaggle of nuns. Beautiful! Many would argue it's the very best.
I have yoga farts. Beautiful! Many would argue it's the very best.
I chuckled
Does this re-sub every time it's quoted? Consider this a test case because I was curious since Jeff's iteration of "the white man" into the blank nearly had me pissing and rolling.
Truck
User
A flaming zeppelin in descent?
User
I was wondering if I could get a sort of political one. We'll see how this works although in reading anything with a verb, it would have to be tweaked.
I have _____. Beautiful! Many would argue it's the very best.
I have sabotage. Beautiful! Many would argue it's the very best.
I have a slut who deserved it. Beautiful! Many would argue it's the very best.
I have an above/below the table snuggle. Beautiful! Many would argue it's the very best.
I have truth serum. Beautiful! Many would argue it's the very best.
I have fictitious queer same sex transformation. Beautiful! Many would argue it's the very best.
I have the recent tragedy in Africa. Beautiful! Many would argue it's the very best.
I have a slut who deserved it. Beautiful! Many would argue it's the very best.
I have an above/below the table snuggle. Beautiful! Many would argue it's the very best.
I have truth serum. Beautiful! Many would argue it's the very best.
I have fictitious queer same sex transformation. Beautiful! Many would argue it's the very best.
I have the recent tragedy in Africa. Beautiful! Many would argue it's the very best.
User
I thought "a lovable loser" worked rather well, and yet you didn't add it? 
User
hand-crafted penises from the internets
User
I agree with one of your musical recommendations but I am also scared and confused as I have never seen the human body before.
User
Gonna re-roll this one a few times and see if we get better results:
Why don't you tell me
This ship’s gonna sink unless we throw Why don't you tell me overboard!
You’ve got to come see the baby, it’s as cute as Why don't you tell me.
My daughter came home crying because the kids at school said she was Why don't you tell me.
The city condemned our house after finding Why don't you tell me in the crawlspace.
Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value Why don't you tell me more. Now hold still.
It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, Why don't you tell me, toilet paper, shelter, and a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug.
You’ve got to come see the baby, it’s as cute as Why don't you tell me.
My daughter came home crying because the kids at school said she was Why don't you tell me.
The city condemned our house after finding Why don't you tell me in the crawlspace.
Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value Why don't you tell me more. Now hold still.
It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, Why don't you tell me, toilet paper, shelter, and a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug.
User
My goal with this one to try to stay in the PG-13 range (b and x are questionable). We have too many cards about butts and pooping, so I wanted to try something different. Some of these may work better in two-fors than solo. B is from Achewood, G is from advertisement I saw on TV, P is from Legend of the Mystical Ninja and you'd better say it right, R is from Sealab 2021, S is Ren and Stimpy, U was... I don't know, I looked at one of Nez' posts of L4D2 stuff and said "that has a u!", Y was an experiment that may or may not work. If these aren't satisfactory, feel free to tweak or disregard them.
An alibi
Science never solves a problem without creating An alibi.
The best comfort food will always be greens, An alibi, and fried chicken.
Amtrak officials confirm An alibi would have prevented train derailment.
Holy dogshit, Texas! Only An alibi and a strangler come from Texas, Private Cowboy!
I’m undergoing immersion therapy by continually exposing myself to An alibi.
An alibi... like a woman’s.
The best comfort food will always be greens, An alibi, and fried chicken.
Amtrak officials confirm An alibi would have prevented train derailment.
Holy dogshit, Texas! Only An alibi and a strangler come from Texas, Private Cowboy!
I’m undergoing immersion therapy by continually exposing myself to An alibi.
An alibi... like a woman’s.
A bitch as nasty as that
But I promised my kids they could get A bitch as nasty as that for Christmas!
Woah, A bitch as nasty as that! I’m gonna put my mouth on it!
Outrageous new comedy: 2 best friends and spicy saliva take a road trip, and discover A bitch as nasty as that along the way.
After the war, the British government had Alan Turing chemically castrated because he was A bitch as nasty as that.
Class, turn to page 100 and start reading “A bitch as nasty as that”.
1) A robot may not injure A bitch as nasty as that, or through inaction allow A bitch as nasty as that to come to harm.
Woah, A bitch as nasty as that! I’m gonna put my mouth on it!
Outrageous new comedy: 2 best friends and spicy saliva take a road trip, and discover A bitch as nasty as that along the way.
After the war, the British government had Alan Turing chemically castrated because he was A bitch as nasty as that.
Class, turn to page 100 and start reading “A bitch as nasty as that”.
1) A robot may not injure A bitch as nasty as that, or through inaction allow A bitch as nasty as that to come to harm.
Cockfighting
Welcome to the neighborhood! I live in Cockfighting across the street.
You evaded my “Cockfighting” attack! Most impressive.
It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, Cockfighting, toilet paper, shelter, and running and jumping into the darkness and hoping nothing kills you.
Single white female seeking long term relationship, if you’re into Cockfighting, get to the front of the line.
... And so my mom asked me, “If all your friends were Cockfighting, would you be Cockfighting as well?”
What’s in the fridge? Soda, OJ, Cockfighting... Sweet! Sunny-D!
You evaded my “Cockfighting” attack! Most impressive.
It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, Cockfighting, toilet paper, shelter, and running and jumping into the darkness and hoping nothing kills you.
Single white female seeking long term relationship, if you’re into Cockfighting, get to the front of the line.
... And so my mom asked me, “If all your friends were Cockfighting, would you be Cockfighting as well?”
What’s in the fridge? Soda, OJ, Cockfighting... Sweet! Sunny-D!
Any decent person
Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on Any decent person.
Any decent person makes good neighbors.
That’s not funny. My dad was killed by Any decent person.
In Brea several people suffered minor injuries during Any decent person that overturned their car.
After last week’s stunning victory, the wrestler earned his nickname “Any decent person”
The new summer blockbuster targeted at tweens features a girl with a great review and a mysterious boy who fights Any decent person.
Any decent person makes good neighbors.
That’s not funny. My dad was killed by Any decent person.
In Brea several people suffered minor injuries during Any decent person that overturned their car.
After last week’s stunning victory, the wrestler earned his nickname “Any decent person”
The new summer blockbuster targeted at tweens features a girl with a great review and a mysterious boy who fights Any decent person.
My exoskeleton
J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of My exoskeleton.
Alien cover-ups, false flag operations, and military experiments with My exoskeleton! It’s all here in my manifesto!
When a person has My exoskeleton, sometimes their mind clicks that this thing will win arguments and straighten people out.
Traditionally, vampires and other undead are repelled by My exoskeleton.
Leopards are smaller than most of the Panthera genus, but they are able to take large prey due to My exoskeleton.
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served my family nothing but My exoskeleton.
Alien cover-ups, false flag operations, and military experiments with My exoskeleton! It’s all here in my manifesto!
When a person has My exoskeleton, sometimes their mind clicks that this thing will win arguments and straighten people out.
Traditionally, vampires and other undead are repelled by My exoskeleton.
Leopards are smaller than most of the Panthera genus, but they are able to take large prey due to My exoskeleton.
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served my family nothing but My exoskeleton.
Fate
Ha! You activated my trap card, “judgment!” You’re cursed with Fate until the end of the game!
CAUTION: Keep Fate out of hopper and chute opening. Failure to comply risks personal injury.
In a world with a feather Fate, one man must overcome raw recruits. Coming this summer.
Then God said, “Let there be Fate”; and there was Fate. And God saw that Fate was good.
Experts said that based on preliminary data, Fate appears to have occurred on the Puente Hills thrust fault.
See now black people walk like Fate. But white people -- white people walk like they’re reasonable stereotypes!
CAUTION: Keep Fate out of hopper and chute opening. Failure to comply risks personal injury.
In a world with a feather Fate, one man must overcome raw recruits. Coming this summer.
Then God said, “Let there be Fate”; and there was Fate. And God saw that Fate was good.
Experts said that based on preliminary data, Fate appears to have occurred on the Puente Hills thrust fault.
See now black people walk like Fate. But white people -- white people walk like they’re reasonable stereotypes!
Good bacteria
I went rafting, saw Good bacteria in the river, no big deal.
At my 9th birthday, we had mom piñata that burst open showering Good bacteria on us kids.
I’ve been dancing to the new single by “Fancy Santas and Good bacteria”.
Dear diary, today I went into the city and saw Good bacteria for the first time!
When the beef came at me it was like Good bacteria.
I refuse to roleplay as anything but Good bacteria.
At my 9th birthday, we had mom piñata that burst open showering Good bacteria on us kids.
I’ve been dancing to the new single by “Fancy Santas and Good bacteria”.
Dear diary, today I went into the city and saw Good bacteria for the first time!
When the beef came at me it was like Good bacteria.
I refuse to roleplay as anything but Good bacteria.
History's greatest monster
There is no “I” in “team” but there is an “I” in “History's greatest monster”.
Driving late at night, I was horrified to find History's greatest monster in the back seat.
I came home to find History's greatest monster replaced with a strongly-worded letter.
History's greatest monster: It’s nature’s candy!
I buried my treasure under History's greatest monster so you’d never find it!
And before I let your steam drill beat me down, I’ll die with History's greatest monster in my hand.
Driving late at night, I was horrified to find History's greatest monster in the back seat.
I came home to find History's greatest monster replaced with a strongly-worded letter.
History's greatest monster: It’s nature’s candy!
I buried my treasure under History's greatest monster so you’d never find it!
And before I let your steam drill beat me down, I’ll die with History's greatest monster in my hand.
Human Ingenuity
The 7 deadly sins: lust, gluttony, a ripe body, sloth, wrath, Human Ingenuity, and pride.
How high do you have to be to put Human Ingenuity on Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s frilly neckerchief?
When Human Ingenuity is ready, nosy neighbors will appear.
Apparently, “Human Ingenuity” is a dance move in the Hip-Hop and B-Boy community.
Don’t email me at work! Email me at my personal address: Human Ingenuity@a planet where apes evolved from men.net
He also named a city in India “Human Ingenuity” after his dead horse.
How high do you have to be to put Human Ingenuity on Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s frilly neckerchief?
When Human Ingenuity is ready, nosy neighbors will appear.
Apparently, “Human Ingenuity” is a dance move in the Hip-Hop and B-Boy community.
Don’t email me at work! Email me at my personal address: Human Ingenuity@a planet where apes evolved from men.net
He also named a city in India “Human Ingenuity” after his dead horse.
The smoothest Jazz scientifically possible
Help! I can’t find my daughter! She looks like The smoothest Jazz scientifically possible and is carrying aged beef.
Everything I need to live on a desert island: The smoothest Jazz scientifically possible with my quarry.
Some are born with The smoothest Jazz scientifically possible, some achieve The smoothest Jazz scientifically possible, and some have The smoothest Jazz scientifically possible thrust upon them.
I’m having a picnic no one will forget! Bring The smoothest Jazz scientifically possible.
The transferred sperm cells are kept in The smoothest Jazz scientifically possible, where they can remain viable for longer periods.
The thief was caught stealing never coming to fruition from the sultan, and so was thrown into the pit of The smoothest Jazz scientifically possible.
Everything I need to live on a desert island: The smoothest Jazz scientifically possible with my quarry.
Some are born with The smoothest Jazz scientifically possible, some achieve The smoothest Jazz scientifically possible, and some have The smoothest Jazz scientifically possible thrust upon them.
I’m having a picnic no one will forget! Bring The smoothest Jazz scientifically possible.
The transferred sperm cells are kept in The smoothest Jazz scientifically possible, where they can remain viable for longer periods.
The thief was caught stealing never coming to fruition from the sultan, and so was thrown into the pit of The smoothest Jazz scientifically possible.
All the King's treasure
The rich aroma of All the King's treasure, from the hills of Columbia.
“You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember All the King's treasure?”
That’s Captain Rogers the Rancorous of “All the King's treasure,” the finest ship in the harbor!
A social skill is any skill facilitating lots of rattled nerves and All the King's treasure with others.
I dug around for hours in the trash but never found All the King's treasure.
The new self-help fad: Better Living Through All the King's treasure!
“You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember All the King's treasure?”
That’s Captain Rogers the Rancorous of “All the King's treasure,” the finest ship in the harbor!
A social skill is any skill facilitating lots of rattled nerves and All the King's treasure with others.
I dug around for hours in the trash but never found All the King's treasure.
The new self-help fad: Better Living Through All the King's treasure!
A lovable loser
Men, like A lovable loser, go farthest when they are smoothest.
In the end, the obvious plot twist was that the serial killer was actually A lovable loser.
More than 260 people were injured by festive firecracker blasts and A lovable loser in the Philippines.
A lovable loser is not horrible if a child is doing it.
Furious that I had peed into his spellbook, the sorcerer turned me into A lovable loser.
The only way to make sense out of A lovable loser is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.
In the end, the obvious plot twist was that the serial killer was actually A lovable loser.
More than 260 people were injured by festive firecracker blasts and A lovable loser in the Philippines.
A lovable loser is not horrible if a child is doing it.
Furious that I had peed into his spellbook, the sorcerer turned me into A lovable loser.
The only way to make sense out of A lovable loser is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.
The Mayor
Voltron assemble! The Mayor forms the left arm!
When the celestial spheres align, The Mayor will descend from the heavens.
If The Mayor were in the Olympics, Finland would be in great shape!
The new hit reality show: Can You Swallow The Mayor?
Meet me by the new modern art installation downtown. You know, it’s The Mayor straddled by a salty sailor.
Sir, you have a phone call. Something about The Mayor?
When the celestial spheres align, The Mayor will descend from the heavens.
If The Mayor were in the Olympics, Finland would be in great shape!
The new hit reality show: Can You Swallow The Mayor?
Meet me by the new modern art installation downtown. You know, it’s The Mayor straddled by a salty sailor.
Sir, you have a phone call. Something about The Mayor?
Nipping it in the bud
A BBC team has witnessed the devastating effects of Nipping it in the bud on civilians in rebel-held areas of Syria.
There is no revenge so complete as Nipping it in the bud.
Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance art piece, I will be Nipping it in the bud.
I didn’t think this house would sell with wrestling alligators in the attic. Anyway, I’m Nipping it in the bud.
Ich bin ein Nipping it in the bud.
Squad, circle up. It’s time to talk Nipping it in the bud.
There is no revenge so complete as Nipping it in the bud.
Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance art piece, I will be Nipping it in the bud.
I didn’t think this house would sell with wrestling alligators in the attic. Anyway, I’m Nipping it in the bud.
Ich bin ein Nipping it in the bud.
Squad, circle up. It’s time to talk Nipping it in the bud.
The orbital socket
I met a strange lady, she made me nervous. She took me in and gave me The orbital socket.
Every French soldier carries The orbital socket in his knapsack.
I went to cut the cake, and to my delight, The orbital socket popped out!
In this 15th century painting, 60 seconds is represented by a man with The orbital socket for a head.
Life without love is like The orbital socket without a launch or fruit.
USGS seismologist Lucy Jones said the 5.1 quake has a 5% chance of being The orbital socket.
Every French soldier carries The orbital socket in his knapsack.
I went to cut the cake, and to my delight, The orbital socket popped out!
In this 15th century painting, 60 seconds is represented by a man with The orbital socket for a head.
Life without love is like The orbital socket without a launch or fruit.
USGS seismologist Lucy Jones said the 5.1 quake has a 5% chance of being The orbital socket.
Plasma
When eating alone I prefer a special kind of sandwich: layers of yuppie flu and Plasma.
Bumper sticker: My other ride is Plasma.
God didn’t create me. God created Plasma. And Plasma created me.
Aww! My mom packed a terrible lunch: Plasma and dark magic.
My house. 8 o’clock. Plasma.
I tried to sneak out of the store with Plasma under one arm and juicing up down my pants.
Bumper sticker: My other ride is Plasma.
God didn’t create me. God created Plasma. And Plasma created me.
Aww! My mom packed a terrible lunch: Plasma and dark magic.
My house. 8 o’clock. Plasma.
I tried to sneak out of the store with Plasma under one arm and juicing up down my pants.
A sassy saquatch
My daughter came home crying because the kids at school said she was A sassy saquatch.
Come on down to Golden Corral for A sassy saquatch.
Music without the sounds of A sassy saquatch is hardly music at all.
The White House will no longer enforce A sassy saquatch Act of 1959.
Police were able to track the suspect after finding DNA evidence in A sassy saquatch.
When he reached the New World, Cortés burned A sassy saquatch. As a result, his men were well motivated.
Come on down to Golden Corral for A sassy saquatch.
Music without the sounds of A sassy saquatch is hardly music at all.
The White House will no longer enforce A sassy saquatch Act of 1959.
Police were able to track the suspect after finding DNA evidence in A sassy saquatch.
When he reached the New World, Cortés burned A sassy saquatch. As a result, his men were well motivated.
A robot body
A robot body! A robot body! My kingdom for A robot body!
The doctor held up my x-ray and I could just make out A robot body.
I surreptitiously crawled into bed, only to find A robot body.
You’ve got to come see the baby, it’s as cute as A robot body.
The three techniques of Sumo Wrestling: freewill, sock puppets and A robot body.
The new bill before congress would mandate A robot body and provide subsidies for “forgetting” to knock.
The doctor held up my x-ray and I could just make out A robot body.
I surreptitiously crawled into bed, only to find A robot body.
You’ve got to come see the baby, it’s as cute as A robot body.
The three techniques of Sumo Wrestling: freewill, sock puppets and A robot body.
The new bill before congress would mandate A robot body and provide subsidies for “forgetting” to knock.
Space madness
Original style is fine, but chunky kinda tastes like Space madness.
In the public Space madness model, a third-party service provider delivers the Space madness service over the Internet.
On my way to work today, I had to swerve around Space madness on the freeway.
I am become Space madness, the destroyer of worlds.
It has been prophesied that the young king will eventually be killed by Space madness.
Chimps in the wild have been observed using Space madness to forage for food.
In the public Space madness model, a third-party service provider delivers the Space madness service over the Internet.
On my way to work today, I had to swerve around Space madness on the freeway.
I am become Space madness, the destroyer of worlds.
It has been prophesied that the young king will eventually be killed by Space madness.
Chimps in the wild have been observed using Space madness to forage for food.
A tender moment
Jesus is A tender moment.
The school district had to pay a lot of hush money to parents after the “A tender moment” incident in the science lab.
At the new Asian-inspired restaurant downtown, the chef will prepare A tender moment right at your table.
Let a trail of footprints host your next party, providing A tender moment like you’ve never seen before.
McDonald’s combo menu #3: Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a large Coke, and a side of A tender moment.
The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in A tender moment.
The school district had to pay a lot of hush money to parents after the “A tender moment” incident in the science lab.
At the new Asian-inspired restaurant downtown, the chef will prepare A tender moment right at your table.
Let a trail of footprints host your next party, providing A tender moment like you’ve never seen before.
McDonald’s combo menu #3: Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a large Coke, and a side of A tender moment.
The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in A tender moment.
Wang Chunging at any other time
An FBI raid on Michael Eisner’s seaside villa turned up Wang Chunging at any other time in every room.
How embarrassing! I forget I left Wang Chunging at any other time in the foyer.
During routine surgery, the doctors found Wang Chunging at any other time embedded in my abdomen.
Throughout human history, Wang Chunging at any other time has been the first activity of explorers of any new region.
When I told my father he shouted, “No daughter of mine is going out with Wang Chunging at any other time!”
Early rugby’s rules: carry the ball as Wang Chunging at any other time, score points by a pinch, and novelty gag dildo shall not be on the field.
How embarrassing! I forget I left Wang Chunging at any other time in the foyer.
During routine surgery, the doctors found Wang Chunging at any other time embedded in my abdomen.
Throughout human history, Wang Chunging at any other time has been the first activity of explorers of any new region.
When I told my father he shouted, “No daughter of mine is going out with Wang Chunging at any other time!”
Early rugby’s rules: carry the ball as Wang Chunging at any other time, score points by a pinch, and novelty gag dildo shall not be on the field.
A tin of Vienna sausages
Jan Sobieski, leading the largest cavalry charge in history, rode into battle atop A tin of Vienna sausages.
It’s lucky to touch A tin of Vienna sausages; it’s even luckier to touch someone else’s.
I thought I was being attacked, and I defended myself with A tin of Vienna sausages.
Military scientists in Syria found traces of A tin of Vienna sausages in the soil.
I like my women like I like A tin of Vienna sausages: with spooning distance.
Hark! What A tin of Vienna sausages through yonder window breaks?
It’s lucky to touch A tin of Vienna sausages; it’s even luckier to touch someone else’s.
I thought I was being attacked, and I defended myself with A tin of Vienna sausages.
Military scientists in Syria found traces of A tin of Vienna sausages in the soil.
I like my women like I like A tin of Vienna sausages: with spooning distance.
Hark! What A tin of Vienna sausages through yonder window breaks?
Waterboarding friends and family
When I told my doctor I couldn’t afford an operation, he offered Waterboarding friends and family operation.
The first item of evidence in The People vs. a Korean hacker is Waterboarding friends and family.
The unofficial symbol of the United States is Waterboarding friends and family.
Authorities were tallying damage from Waterboarding friends and family that struck southern California Friday evening.
You can’t get Waterboarding friends and family big enough or a Victorian penny dreadful long enough to suit me.
Nancy Drew and the Mystery of Waterboarding friends and family.
The first item of evidence in The People vs. a Korean hacker is Waterboarding friends and family.
The unofficial symbol of the United States is Waterboarding friends and family.
Authorities were tallying damage from Waterboarding friends and family that struck southern California Friday evening.
You can’t get Waterboarding friends and family big enough or a Victorian penny dreadful long enough to suit me.
Nancy Drew and the Mystery of Waterboarding friends and family.
Exhibitionist tendencies
Can I get some floss? There’s Exhibitionist tendencies between my teeth.
It’s not delivery. It’s Exhibitionist tendencies.
My religion demands that I must always have Exhibitionist tendencies, and that I must abstain from removing a uterine tumor with my teeth.
These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was pulsating opposite sexes, part was an imitation poop spiral, and it was crowned with Exhibitionist tendencies.
Damn it! I got Exhibitionist tendencies jammed in the wheel well again.
Exhibitionist tendencies is the only way to say goodbye.
It’s not delivery. It’s Exhibitionist tendencies.
My religion demands that I must always have Exhibitionist tendencies, and that I must abstain from removing a uterine tumor with my teeth.
These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was pulsating opposite sexes, part was an imitation poop spiral, and it was crowned with Exhibitionist tendencies.
Damn it! I got Exhibitionist tendencies jammed in the wheel well again.
Exhibitionist tendencies is the only way to say goodbye.
Why don't you tell me
When presented with animalistic hunger, Why don't you tell me will fart blood in anticipation.
Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with Why don't you tell me.
Why don't you tell me has proven extremely popular among young, urban audiences in focus testing.
Doctor, you’re a genius! No one has ever thought of using one mile of train rail to treat Why don't you tell me!
Abraham Lincoln wrestled with depression, but that did not keep him from horsing around with Why don't you tell me.
A scandal erupted this week when prime ministers of Australia and Canada were caught with Why don't you tell me.
Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with Why don't you tell me.
Why don't you tell me has proven extremely popular among young, urban audiences in focus testing.
Doctor, you’re a genius! No one has ever thought of using one mile of train rail to treat Why don't you tell me!
Abraham Lincoln wrestled with depression, but that did not keep him from horsing around with Why don't you tell me.
A scandal erupted this week when prime ministers of Australia and Canada were caught with Why don't you tell me.
Zany antics
Populations of endangered rhinoceros are threatened by Zany antics and getting HUGE.
I wasn’t always black... there was Zany antics, and it got bigger and bigger.
My financial analyst had advised me against investing all my money in Zany antics.
Kirkland mom makes $20,000 a week with Zany antics.
India is launching a rocket to test the effects of micro-gravity on Zany antics.
prancing piglets brings Zany antics and a smile to a child’s face.
I wasn’t always black... there was Zany antics, and it got bigger and bigger.
My financial analyst had advised me against investing all my money in Zany antics.
Kirkland mom makes $20,000 a week with Zany antics.
India is launching a rocket to test the effects of micro-gravity on Zany antics.
prancing piglets brings Zany antics and a smile to a child’s face.
User
Ooo. Well if it isn't against the rules, I'll go with what I got from the second roll. Something about coming together and ending the pederasty that's holding a nation back really works (looking at you, Greece)
User
I've been sitting on a card suggestion for a while now, so I think I'll use the new functionality as an opportunity to test it out.
If we are to progress as a nation, we must come together and stop the threat of _____.
If we are to progress as a nation, we must come together and stop the threat of NAMBLA.
If we are to progress as a nation, we must come together and stop the threat of empowerment.
If we are to progress as a nation, we must come together and stop the threat of an itchy shirt tag.
If we are to progress as a nation, we must come together and stop the threat of bear sperm.
If we are to progress as a nation, we must come together and stop the threat of an aptitude for climbing.
If we are to progress as a nation, we must come together and stop the threat of the gravy dimension.
If we are to progress as a nation, we must come together and stop the threat of empowerment.
If we are to progress as a nation, we must come together and stop the threat of an itchy shirt tag.
If we are to progress as a nation, we must come together and stop the threat of bear sperm.
If we are to progress as a nation, we must come together and stop the threat of an aptitude for climbing.
If we are to progress as a nation, we must come together and stop the threat of the gravy dimension.
User
This is cool for now, but there's going to be hell to pay when I finish my alphabert.
Truck
User
I'm pretty sure it was powered by diamonds. Blood diamonds preferably.
Truck
User
I had a dream this morning in which aaronjer, Nez, and I rather abruptly had places that we needed to be, so we hopped in aaronjer's truck and went on our way. Aaronjer's truck, for those of you unfamiliar with the dream I just had, is over a hundred feet tall and takes up four lanes of highway. Initially, we stuck to plowing through the median of the freeway, but as we still were not going fast enough, we were encouraged by aaronjer to snipe the other cars in the direction of travel with explosive arrows so as to clear a path on the freeway, which of course, we did, as he threatened to call us pussies otherwise. So, if you need to get somewhere fast and have no regard for life, might I recommend aaronjer's truck?
Truck
User
KITTY
Truck
User
HAI GUYS
User
I think that, in honor of that comic, "Public wine" also needs to be a black card.
User
If the campaign was co-op, it might be worth playing, instead of drinking heavily and then playing it because that's the only way you can manage.
Maybe I'll just force it to be co-op by giving someone the mouse while I take the kebbard.
Maybe I'll just force it to be co-op by giving someone the mouse while I take the kebbard.
User
No, I really should have watched the commentators stream. I just didn't try very hard to find it and figured I had missed the good stuff once the route got back on track.
User
New route was interesting. Tournament probably wasn't the best time to roll it out. Work on your screen scrolling 
User
Look at SJ, all making it to Round Six of the Loser's Bracket
Truck
User
Superjer's allergen susceptibility makes it harder for him to hike and have cats, who are good people.
User
a poisonous bosom snake
(thanks, John Milton!)
(thanks, John Milton!)
User
Superjer I was promised struggling
Truck
User
I don't care enough to believe anything about you.
User
I kind of want to combine Nez' submissions into:
The dying wish of a humorless Japanese businessman.
The dying wish of a humorless Japanese businessman.
User
SuperJer said:
Maybe there's no wrong way to read it?
FINE. now I just read it as a old man with bifocals and wispy hair wearing a tux with tails as he flails a conductor's wand, futilely, at people bumping and grinding at each other with no sense of rhythm.
I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY
User
Nezumi said:
poorly orchestrated group sex
... and I just read orchestrated differently from what was intended and was imagining a porno scene set to some sleazy jazz variant instead getting Wagner or something.
Truck
User
I would have to eat there to determine this. Updates to follow next week.
Truck
User
Gentlemen, there is a Korean restaurant within walking distance of my apartment which means I have regular access to the Bi Bim Bap.
Today is a good day.
Today is a good day.
User
Is it spider years, because if so, you could be out early next year if not sooner.
User
Stop telling the bot you love her; it's mean because she isn't real.
Truck
User
I made a recording, and now you have hearing aids.
User
Signa said:
Well Jay, anyone hanging around you probably is thinking about suicide anyway. ;)
(How do we not having a winking smiley on this site?)
(How do we not having a winking smiley on this site?)
And STILL I have to routinely explain to people, "For God's sake, it's down the road not across the street!"
User
I'm just uncontrollably trustworthy, that's all.
User
Eh, I've had girls tell me about their history of suicide attempts having known them for a few hours.
Truck
User
did someone get their AIDS in your chocolate?
User
jeff is wizlord said:
Marvelous pigs in satin.
I feel like this lacks the context so I'll provide it...
Sick vid
the bit is sadly incomplete, here's the final
"They were doing two shows and she
Had a high fever and he took
Off a piece of her ear and
Tip Little told her she should
Leave the bum
But Poodle said, "He fetched me
Last time I run."
But I'd like to hammer this ring into a bullet
And I wish I had some whiskey and a gun
My dear
And I wish I had some whiskey and a gun"
I seem to have lost my earlier alpobert or else I'd add "Some whiskey and a gun" to my W.
User
Abraham Lincoln wrestled with depression, but that did not keep him from _ with _.
(among the hits, "getting HUGE, crush beast" and "wanting to be noticed, "the best cake ever made")
(among the hits, "getting HUGE, crush beast" and "wanting to be noticed, "the best cake ever made")
Truck
User
FINE, have fun in your possibly-murderous fugue state. By the way, the poncho is made of terrycloth and is completely fucking useless in the elements.
Truck
User
A lot of my dreams lately have just been super incoherent, to the point where I can barely even remember them because there's nothing to organize them, so I'll submit the dream I had last night because it actually had a story.
I had a dream that I was working out of my house as a freelance movie reviewer. The trouble with this is that the studios would send me promotional materials all the time for their movies and each one of the movies was absolutely terrible. At the beginning of the dream, I was waking up to find a small animatronic doll having wandered into my room and begun staring at me as part of the promotional material for a movie that was a blatant Child's Play rip-off. I ignored it, thinking to myself, "okay, this doesn't work anymore because everyone acknowledges now that dolls are creepy and to be avoided. Video games, movies, TV series, everyone has exploited the evil doll thing now. It's no longer scary!"
With that I went downstairs and turned on a pre-screening copy of another horror movie called Magic Poncho (yes, that was the name of it). The plot of it was that this woman owned a cursed poncho (it was actually more of a bathrobe, but that's how stupid this movie was) and whenever she put it on, everyone around her would immediately start to have blank emotional expressions and then she'd experience a weird adrenaline surge and black out after a short period of time, not remembering anything, but waking up wearing the poncho and covered in spatters of blood and mud. I watched this for a while until I just started screaming at the TV, "STOP PUTTING ON THE PONCHO! YOU KNOW YOU'RE BLACKING OUT! YOU DON'T EVEN NEED THE PONCHO! IT'S INDOORS AND YOU ARE STILL WEARING THE PONCHO! WHAT THE HELL?" at which point my rage woke me up.
I still fucking hate that poncho.
I had a dream that I was working out of my house as a freelance movie reviewer. The trouble with this is that the studios would send me promotional materials all the time for their movies and each one of the movies was absolutely terrible. At the beginning of the dream, I was waking up to find a small animatronic doll having wandered into my room and begun staring at me as part of the promotional material for a movie that was a blatant Child's Play rip-off. I ignored it, thinking to myself, "okay, this doesn't work anymore because everyone acknowledges now that dolls are creepy and to be avoided. Video games, movies, TV series, everyone has exploited the evil doll thing now. It's no longer scary!"
With that I went downstairs and turned on a pre-screening copy of another horror movie called Magic Poncho (yes, that was the name of it). The plot of it was that this woman owned a cursed poncho (it was actually more of a bathrobe, but that's how stupid this movie was) and whenever she put it on, everyone around her would immediately start to have blank emotional expressions and then she'd experience a weird adrenaline surge and black out after a short period of time, not remembering anything, but waking up wearing the poncho and covered in spatters of blood and mud. I watched this for a while until I just started screaming at the TV, "STOP PUTTING ON THE PONCHO! YOU KNOW YOU'RE BLACKING OUT! YOU DON'T EVEN NEED THE PONCHO! IT'S INDOORS AND YOU ARE STILL WEARING THE PONCHO! WHAT THE HELL?" at which point my rage woke me up.
I still fucking hate that poncho.
User
jeff is wizlord said:
Child murder shorts
Is that like the Swiss Murder Suit or short films about murdering children?
User
I'm kind of stoked to play around with the revamped game now. I know that some of the black cards we found to be a bit deficient and not-exciting when they came up, but I think that there's also an issue of familiarity. We have far more cards than the original CAH, but if certain ones keep coming up, then their hilarity potential is diminished. I suspect that we'll probably keep on fine tuning it, suggesting a bunch and then removing most of them. There are certainly a few of my suggestions that I'd cull from the bunch because I don't find them to be all that funny.
I was thinking about this earlier and considered that me riffing off a Pixies lyric, "If man is _, then the devil is _ and God is _" actually turned out to be a pretty decent card for the relationships available to it and the kind of story it was capable of telling. It doesn't seem like much on first blush, but it's effective. By contrast, the more highfalutin philosophical black cards I tried to create from Victorian novels didn't work out well, because while it was funny to conceive of certain things in grandiose terms, it was too much of a mouthful to go on with each new iteration of it. I like the idea of over-the-top cards, but I've found that shorter generally plays better and I think that this is an issue we've had with both types of cards lately. Really elaborate white cards can play well, but they need to be used more sporadically so that it retains the surprise when they're deployed.
I was thinking about this earlier and considered that me riffing off a Pixies lyric, "If man is _, then the devil is _ and God is _" actually turned out to be a pretty decent card for the relationships available to it and the kind of story it was capable of telling. It doesn't seem like much on first blush, but it's effective. By contrast, the more highfalutin philosophical black cards I tried to create from Victorian novels didn't work out well, because while it was funny to conceive of certain things in grandiose terms, it was too much of a mouthful to go on with each new iteration of it. I like the idea of over-the-top cards, but I've found that shorter generally plays better and I think that this is an issue we've had with both types of cards lately. Really elaborate white cards can play well, but they need to be used more sporadically so that it retains the surprise when they're deployed.
User
Must have slipped my mind. I was just trying to make some stupid shit I said in your stream last night into a viable black card.
User
In order to really enjoy ___, you just have to let yourself go.
User
Excellent progress, Gay+
Truck
User
If nothing else, in the past few months I've learned to fly at will in dreams. The most entertaining instance of this was realizing that the dream was heading along a nightmare track and thinking to myself, "hmmm, I don't know... this seems... Spooky..." And then rocketing off and flying around for like ten or twenty minutes over trees and islands and water and the like. I landed in a fishing village on the docks and the locals were immediately talking amongst themselves, like "wtf is he even supposed to be here?" They weren't distraught by the fact that I had literally been flying moments earlier. They were confused and frustrated by my entering an area of my subconscious that wasn't part of the original narrative, and were concerned about now being integrated into whatever I was dreaming about. So decided to rocket off again and leave them be.
Truck
User
..... and that's why no one should ever go back to high school 
I keep having a recurring subplot within unrelated dreams where I got bored and decided to register for classes at community college. More than one of the classes was terrible, so I stopped going, but I didn't actually withdraw from it. The dream usually begins as I'm realizing I either have to write a paper on the fly to pass the course or suck it up and take a failing grade, which would be bad in that if I applied to grad school again, it would be on my application and the adcoms would be all like "I don't know, he was too stupid to formally withdraw from this irrelevant community college course..."
I hate this dream because it's completely uninteresting.
I haven't had too many good dreams lately. Last night, in one, I met Michael Jordan at an amusement park, which really impressed me even though I don't care about basketball at all. Also the amusement park filtered into a baseball stadium in one direction and an airport at the other? Stupid brain, come up with better dreams!
I keep having a recurring subplot within unrelated dreams where I got bored and decided to register for classes at community college. More than one of the classes was terrible, so I stopped going, but I didn't actually withdraw from it. The dream usually begins as I'm realizing I either have to write a paper on the fly to pass the course or suck it up and take a failing grade, which would be bad in that if I applied to grad school again, it would be on my application and the adcoms would be all like "I don't know, he was too stupid to formally withdraw from this irrelevant community college course..."
I hate this dream because it's completely uninteresting.
I haven't had too many good dreams lately. Last night, in one, I met Michael Jordan at an amusement park, which really impressed me even though I don't care about basketball at all. Also the amusement park filtered into a baseball stadium in one direction and an airport at the other? Stupid brain, come up with better dreams!
User
Nice start, really looking for something gayer though. Eager to see the next revision!
Truck
User
jeff is wizlord said:
Can I call you GraryJay now?
This is a group that couldn't handle having both an Andrew and an Aaron because the rs got confusing. I don't think this is a good idea! Jeff, stop saying crazy things!
Truck
User
Yerp, I'm moving to Chicago in mid-August.
I don't know if I will be like an old granny in a retirement home, on indefinite stay, who has gained memories instead of losing them, who has moved from the third floor to the side floor and into a room with three windows above the ceiling, and who talks to the TV all day even when it's off.
But I will definitely be moving to Chicago.
I don't know if I will be like an old granny in a retirement home, on indefinite stay, who has gained memories instead of losing them, who has moved from the third floor to the side floor and into a room with three windows above the ceiling, and who talks to the TV all day even when it's off.
But I will definitely be moving to Chicago.
Truck
User
We could make a dream real. Just make sure that your toenails are at the right length and that I'm saying the right things. Deviating from what the dream has foretold could be disastrous
User
So, I just played through Ys Origin again, which is absolutely a flawed game, but it reminded me of some of my favorite aspects of the series: Insane boss fights while raucous tunes are playing.
Midboss Music from Ys III The Oath in Felghana, "Dark Beasts as Black as the Night"
Section Boss Music from Ys III The Oath in Felghana, "Shock of the Death God"
Section Boss Music from Ys Origin "Scars of the Divine Wing"
Any time these songs start playing, you're about to get your ass handed to, repeatedly, until you figure out a strategy.
(Fun fact, the first two games for PC-Engine had scores by Yuzo Koshiro
)
Midboss Music from Ys III The Oath in Felghana, "Dark Beasts as Black as the Night"
Sick vid
Section Boss Music from Ys III The Oath in Felghana, "Shock of the Death God"
Sick vid
Section Boss Music from Ys Origin "Scars of the Divine Wing"
Sick vid
Any time these songs start playing, you're about to get your ass handed to, repeatedly, until you figure out a strategy.
(Fun fact, the first two games for PC-Engine had scores by Yuzo Koshiro
)
User
Nezumi said:
In the public _ model, a third-party provider delivers the _ service over the Internet.
Not sure how that works, Nez, since a lot of the white cards we have include articles like "a" and "the" and so you'd end up with things like "In the public the girl next door model,..."
User
Well when was reality ever wrong? Use that then
User
"Cage" might be a little extreme and dehumanizing. It doesn't bother me but I could see where some one might puss out and pitch a fit.
I knew someone who taught kindergartners or first graders or something like that who used a lead vest, like they have for x-rays in the dentist's office, to keep her more rambunctious students in their seats. Maybe something closer to that?
I knew someone who taught kindergartners or first graders or something like that who used a lead vest, like they have for x-rays in the dentist's office, to keep her more rambunctious students in their seats. Maybe something closer to that?
User
Black Card:
And the radio man says, "Women were a curse, so men built __."
You could also two-fer or three-fer it I guess
And the radio man says, "___ were a curse, so __ built __."
And the radio man says, "Women were a curse, so men built __."
You could also two-fer or three-fer it I guess
And the radio man says, "___ were a curse, so __ built __."
Truck
User
I will be whispering sweet words of encouragement through the com system I have installed in the panic room.
User
I'm sure that exists too, but the lip sync was sufficiently amusing for me.
User
cat metal
Sick vid
Truck
User
So... are you saying that you lack the ability to assume any form and thereby assert dominion over all you survey?
User
Crytax said:
Stylish racism
A stylish racist
A stylish racist
I think that the "Tasteful blackface" card renders those redundant, Cryson
Truck
User
SuperJer said:
Sorry. No stream. I have a really awesome fever.
I was hoping you were just tired, you seemed all right earlier on in the evening, but I guess not.
Truck
User
While in the chat, be sure to shout out some words of encouragement to Superjer, lest he fuck up and ruin everything like he always does.
Truck
User
The Bethesda model is pretty rad, when you think about it. Half make a game, devoting most of the resources to visuals and game play mechanics, don't provide a script, don't bug test it, and let the modding community finish it for you! Low investment, insane return.
Anyway, about the only game I'm excited about now is Resident Evil Revelations 2. The first Revelations was broken in spots (your NPC partner literally has no health bar and can be used as a meat shield), and the plot was hilariously bland (is the evil guy the one who looks like your aging bachelor uncle or is it the one who looks like a warlock?), but the mechanics were pretty solid and it had more of that survival horror feel to it than the other releases recently.
Anyway, about the only game I'm excited about now is Resident Evil Revelations 2. The first Revelations was broken in spots (your NPC partner literally has no health bar and can be used as a meat shield), and the plot was hilariously bland (is the evil guy the one who looks like your aging bachelor uncle or is it the one who looks like a warlock?), but the mechanics were pretty solid and it had more of that survival horror feel to it than the other releases recently.
Truck
User
Can you get it to make the Helvetica Scenario noise? 
Truck
User
SuperJer said:
I want them to redo Skyrim and fix the boring dialog and missing animations. And the boring ending.
You never should have come here
User
Before we really get started, remember that my safe word is "___."
The rogue state has kidnapped scientists in the hopes of weaponizing ___.
The rogue state has kidnapped scientists in the hopes of weaponizing ___.
Truck
User
Watching the Super Metroid run on the Youtubes right now. Sunrise Surprise 
Truck
User
So, among the things I didn't expect to be saying. Tetris The Grandmaster series. Real hype. And supposedly the Japanese players are way better than the Americans.
Truck
User
SUPA STAR
WOULD YOU LIKE HEAR THE COPY ABILITY EXPLAINED? FUCK YOU OF COURSE YOU WOULD
WOULD YOU LIKE HEAR THE COPY ABILITY EXPLAINED? FUCK YOU OF COURSE YOU WOULD
Truck
User
SuperJer said:
My heart sank when Darkwing died in level 9.
Likewise. It had been close for so long and I figured I could take a bathroom break around level 8 and when I came back, Lack had won and Darkwing was at the continue screen.
I was late getting into these, but it's been pretty much the same as usual when I try to watch AGDQ. Everything I want to see is either when I'm at work or when I'm asleep. Missed SoR2, Rocket Knight, RCR, the Castlevania block, SMB3, Rogue Legacy, and The Binding of Isaac, so the highlights so far were getting to see Zelda II and about half the LoZ race, along with Silent Hill last night. Meanwhile, I'm at home for things like... all of Fire Emblem Radiant Dawn... which I'm sure would be interesting had I ever played it, but I haven't.
So now I'm looking ahead to the stuff you mentioned tonight and trying to make my peace with the fact that I'll also probably be missing the Ninja Gaiden relay race and the Metroid block while being home in time for such "thrillers" (I need everyone to know how sarcastic I'm being) as Pilotwings 64 and Bomberman 64.
Truck
User
Darkwing: "I am a jerk so I'm going to vote to save the animals."
Truck
User
LoZ races now.
Drakwinj in the lead so far.
LackAttack died and then got trolled by Manhandla.
BREAKFAST ROOM
Drakwinj in the lead so far.
LackAttack died and then got trolled by Manhandla.
BREAKFAST ROOM
Truck
User
this is mostly for Crytax
User
"Nanomachines programmed by those attempting to bring about the Antichrist?"
It's too fucking wordy is what it is. But yeah, clarity is an important take, let's keep the adjustment to that card as you made it.
It's too fucking wordy is what it is. But yeah, clarity is an important take, let's keep the adjustment to that card as you made it.
User
SuperJer said:
@naturebones I like both your alphabets. But I think an ineffectual stubby-armed reach-around paints a more entertaining picture.
It's a little redundant, but if you feel like it, okay? It doesn't really narrow the meaning in any literal way although some might feel connotations of "not trying hard enough."
We still need to come up with something stupid, profane, or body-horror-y for the nanomachines to be doing.
User
I feel like I'm forever contending with the fact that half of what you jackwipes want for white card prominently figures poop and/or a real or implied butt. So, with that in mind... double or nothing.
Affectionate biting.
Bubble and squeak.
Chasing a firetruck. Credit: Rube Waddell's life
Deviant urges.
Explicit eating.
Firing off the squibs too early.
Googly eyes pasted on everyone and everything.
A heroin-caked frying pan locked in a safe. Credit: this
An implied butt.
Just an illegal blood ritual. Credit: Bored to Death
Killer abs.
Lollygagging.
Mildew, mold, and traces of fungal spores.
Nuances.
Owl infestations. Credit: Lucid TV
Precious ambergris. Credit: Futurama
My quarry.
Removing a uterine tumor with my teeth. Credit: William S. Burroughs
A stubby-armed reach-around.
Tweaker logic. Credit: See H
The uncooperative dead.
A vortex that keeps mumbling.
Wrestling alligators in the offseason. Credit: Rube Waddell's life
Xenophagy.
Yuppie flu.
A zealous follower.
Apocalyptic machinery, just mowing us all down. Credit: Achewood
Backwash.
A comedy of errors.
A day at the beach.
Empowerment.
A fifteen-pound newborn. Credit: The news?
Those glorious gams.
Halitosis.
The immigrant experience in America.
A jaunty tune.
A karate chop.
Loving someone SO much.
Mandelbrot pornography.
Nanomachines. (willing to accept suggestions on an absurd function for them)
Only the most beautiful things that can be eaten.
The placenta of your firstborn.
Quaaludes.
A rogue space volcano. Credit: EVE + Ato/Grato
A shot in the dark.
The trials of manhood.
Upsetting footage not suitable for children.
Vacuous remarks.
A white card. Credit: metaaaaa
An X-rated PSA.
Yorkshire pudding.
A zero-emission giant death robot.
Affectionate biting.
Bubble and squeak.
Chasing a firetruck. Credit: Rube Waddell's life
Deviant urges.
Explicit eating.
Firing off the squibs too early.
Googly eyes pasted on everyone and everything.
A heroin-caked frying pan locked in a safe. Credit: this
An implied butt.
Just an illegal blood ritual. Credit: Bored to Death
Killer abs.
Lollygagging.
Mildew, mold, and traces of fungal spores.
Nuances.
Owl infestations. Credit: Lucid TV
Precious ambergris. Credit: Futurama
My quarry.
Removing a uterine tumor with my teeth. Credit: William S. Burroughs
A stubby-armed reach-around.
Tweaker logic. Credit: See H
The uncooperative dead.
A vortex that keeps mumbling.
Wrestling alligators in the offseason. Credit: Rube Waddell's life
Xenophagy.
Yuppie flu.
A zealous follower.
Apocalyptic machinery, just mowing us all down. Credit: Achewood
Backwash.
A comedy of errors.
A day at the beach.
Empowerment.
A fifteen-pound newborn. Credit: The news?
Those glorious gams.
Halitosis.
The immigrant experience in America.
A jaunty tune.
A karate chop.
Loving someone SO much.
Mandelbrot pornography.
Nanomachines. (willing to accept suggestions on an absurd function for them)
Only the most beautiful things that can be eaten.
The placenta of your firstborn.
Quaaludes.
A rogue space volcano. Credit: EVE + Ato/Grato
A shot in the dark.
The trials of manhood.
Upsetting footage not suitable for children.
Vacuous remarks.
A white card. Credit: metaaaaa
An X-rated PSA.
Yorkshire pudding.
A zero-emission giant death robot.
User
I think the term is "Voodoo economics."
User
Another NightVale-inspired black card. Rephrased...
Their answers were, 12 grams, grilled vegetables, a wrinkled tartan quilt, bridge traffic.
Quote:
The human soul weighs about as much as ___, smells like ___, looks like ___, and sounds like ___.
Their answers were, 12 grams, grilled vegetables, a wrinkled tartan quilt, bridge traffic.
User
but how many references to poop are there
User
I got some alphabets although I keep running into the problem where I think of multiple good entries for one letter...
Authentic cuisine from a van.
Beluga tits.
Curious, probing tendrils.
A dog boner.
Eating a bowl full of spider webs. [Credit: Archer]
Fatty grunts.
A Glasgow smile.
A hilarious coma.
Intestinal distress.
The jape of the century. [Credit: The Mighty Boosh]
Krampus.
Long, deep kisses with eyes wide open. [Credit: Achewood]
Manhandling the merchandise.
Not a bear.
Organic porpoise semen.
Priapus, the patron god of boners.
A quiver full of explosive arrows.
The reptile brain.
Spines.
Tar pits gurgling quietly.
Ululating majestically.
Vagrants hiding religious relics.
The Wendigo.
Xanadu.
Yakety Sax.
A ziggurat made of torsos.
Also, new black card:
Whoa, whoa, whoa... ___ is not on trial here!
Authentic cuisine from a van.
Beluga tits.
Curious, probing tendrils.
A dog boner.
Eating a bowl full of spider webs. [Credit: Archer]
Fatty grunts.
A Glasgow smile.
A hilarious coma.
Intestinal distress.
The jape of the century. [Credit: The Mighty Boosh]
Krampus.
Long, deep kisses with eyes wide open. [Credit: Achewood]
Manhandling the merchandise.
Not a bear.
Organic porpoise semen.
Priapus, the patron god of boners.
A quiver full of explosive arrows.
The reptile brain.
Spines.
Tar pits gurgling quietly.
Ululating majestically.
Vagrants hiding religious relics.
The Wendigo.
Xanadu.
Yakety Sax.
A ziggurat made of torsos.
Also, new black card:
Whoa, whoa, whoa... ___ is not on trial here!
User
Doesn't quite capture the spirit of the game. Those childs would need to be leopards.
User
Still thinking up alphabets. In the meantime, I don't think we have this as a black card, but if we have something too similar, ignore:
In a battle between ___ and ___, the real winner is: All of us.
Edit: In retrospect, this is an easy three-for.
In a battle between ___ and ___, the real winner is: ___.
In a battle between ___ and ___, the real winner is: All of us.
Edit: In retrospect, this is an easy three-for.
In a battle between ___ and ___, the real winner is: ___.
User
Really enjoying these new alphabets, superjer. A+
User
Alphabet game, eh? I'm going to riff off some of the things you have here and we'll see. Also some Achewood references and one UCB reference and one Mighty Boosh reference we've needed.
Ass pennies.
Bellowing.
Consensual manslaughter. ["Consensual" as an adjective for just about anything makes it funnier. Combining it with something that isn't supposed to be meditated is funnier.]
A doozy. (Just one)
Eels.
Fisticuffs atop a zeppelin.
Grab ass.
The heterosexual agenda.
Insensitive holiday celebrations.
Jury duty.
Kevlar underwear.
Love handles.
Masticating fresh fruit.
NAMBLA.
An odyssey through time and space.
Peeing in the sink.
Questions. Ceaseless questions.
Rapscallions.
Sea urchins.
Tony's prison baby.
A urologist.
Wicked sack.
Extradition.
The Yak.
Zydeco music.
Ass pennies.
Bellowing.
Consensual manslaughter. ["Consensual" as an adjective for just about anything makes it funnier. Combining it with something that isn't supposed to be meditated is funnier.]
A doozy. (Just one)
Eels.
Fisticuffs atop a zeppelin.
Grab ass.
The heterosexual agenda.
Insensitive holiday celebrations.
Jury duty.
Kevlar underwear.
Love handles.
Masticating fresh fruit.
NAMBLA.
An odyssey through time and space.
Peeing in the sink.
Questions. Ceaseless questions.
Rapscallions.
Sea urchins.
Tony's prison baby.
A urologist.
Wicked sack.
Extradition.
The Yak.
Zydeco music.
User
I need to make sure that we have Scissoring in there as a white card. Beyond that, I was listening to Night Vale and heard a good three-for.
The most dangerous game is __. The most entertaining game is __. The most weird game is __.
(The answers, respectively, were "Man," "Broadway Puppy Bowl," and "Esoteric Bear.")
The most dangerous game is __. The most entertaining game is __. The most weird game is __.
(The answers, respectively, were "Man," "Broadway Puppy Bowl," and "Esoteric Bear.")
Truck
User
Your lives will never be the same, nor will the lives of anyone you know. It's all changed. Everything is different now. Everything is weird.
Sick vid
Truck
User
Wrong on both accounts, though it's plain enough why you'd think that. Never seen the movie, although I hear it's good for its genre, it's just not my type of comedy. As for Half-Life, I think that I only ever got two-thirds of the way through the campaign. I recognize that it was well-executed and all, but there was just something in my gaming interests that got bored with FPSs sometime after Quake.
Truck
User
SRAW said:
Are you sure it wasn't Harold, Kumar and Gordan Freeman instead?
I LOL'ed. Nice one.
Truck
User
So! I had a dream last night where Nez, atojamz, and myself were at someone's house late at night when we decided rather abruptly that the most important thing we needed to be doing at that moment was to be getting burgers at Dick's. But as it was a dream, nothing is easily or readily accomplished.
First, we exited the house, and were immediately in a city with a lot of brick corridors and alleyways. There were chain-link fences surrounding the perimeter and even covering some spaces where there were already walls, as well as blocking off patchy spots thirty feet in the air (though still connected to a base). Worse, it wasn't a matter of walking down one street or another to get there, but there were gates built into the fences that were covered in chains and locks and only opened in one direction. Nez and AJ were trying to figure out whether we should go north through a waterway or south and around while I was trying to locate some wire-cutters with red plastic handles that I ultimately did nothing with and left jammed in a fence. Fortunately for us, as we decided to go the south route and use Nez's car, there were a bunch of people returning from the south after going clubbing or some such thing and we were able to sneak through some of the gates going the wrong way.
Of course, as we got to the car, the problems only increased. I was riding shotgun, AJ was in the back, and Nez was driving, but Nez also immediately got on the freeway going south which was wholly unnecessary. We soon realized that the problems stemmed from the fact that almost as soon as we got in the car and began driving, Nez started falling asleep. AJ and I were both yelling at him out of frustration with how irresponsible he was, less than the idea that any of us were in some real danger. We kept yelling at him and he kept falling asleep. Neither AJ nor I grabbed at the wheel Meanwhile, the freeway we were traveling on had several built-in gaps and jumps and we kept on rocketing off one after the other and landing on the other side, though it was becoming increasingly apparent that this sort of driving was not safe. Finally, on one of the last jumps, we went up and directly to the right. We did not go forward. The car did not turn. It just moved along its axis, to the right. We came crashing down into the courtyard of a mall with no significant damage to ourselves, the vehicle, or the surroundings. AJ and I decided this was as good a place as any to begin looking for snacks, but Nez was more worried about the pet rabbit he had been keeping in the car and possibly endangered, so AJ and I both immediately declared him to be stupid.
The end. Or the end of the relevant part of the dream.
First, we exited the house, and were immediately in a city with a lot of brick corridors and alleyways. There were chain-link fences surrounding the perimeter and even covering some spaces where there were already walls, as well as blocking off patchy spots thirty feet in the air (though still connected to a base). Worse, it wasn't a matter of walking down one street or another to get there, but there were gates built into the fences that were covered in chains and locks and only opened in one direction. Nez and AJ were trying to figure out whether we should go north through a waterway or south and around while I was trying to locate some wire-cutters with red plastic handles that I ultimately did nothing with and left jammed in a fence. Fortunately for us, as we decided to go the south route and use Nez's car, there were a bunch of people returning from the south after going clubbing or some such thing and we were able to sneak through some of the gates going the wrong way.
Of course, as we got to the car, the problems only increased. I was riding shotgun, AJ was in the back, and Nez was driving, but Nez also immediately got on the freeway going south which was wholly unnecessary. We soon realized that the problems stemmed from the fact that almost as soon as we got in the car and began driving, Nez started falling asleep. AJ and I were both yelling at him out of frustration with how irresponsible he was, less than the idea that any of us were in some real danger. We kept yelling at him and he kept falling asleep. Neither AJ nor I grabbed at the wheel Meanwhile, the freeway we were traveling on had several built-in gaps and jumps and we kept on rocketing off one after the other and landing on the other side, though it was becoming increasingly apparent that this sort of driving was not safe. Finally, on one of the last jumps, we went up and directly to the right. We did not go forward. The car did not turn. It just moved along its axis, to the right. We came crashing down into the courtyard of a mall with no significant damage to ourselves, the vehicle, or the surroundings. AJ and I decided this was as good a place as any to begin looking for snacks, but Nez was more worried about the pet rabbit he had been keeping in the car and possibly endangered, so AJ and I both immediately declared him to be stupid.
The end. Or the end of the relevant part of the dream.
Truck
User
I was disappointed too! It seemed like it could put up a somewhat fair fight, but it only spat twice and hit one dwarf before going down. I think it flew up through a staircase I had going into the abyss. I forgot to lock the hatch.
I also have endured my first siege. It lasted a few seconds before I had killed about eleven goblins. There was one fatality (speardwarf, stabbed in head with iron pike. We'll miss you, Bomrek Keskalilun). My army was... sizable and well trained. Previously one of my axedwarfs ran afoul a thief and bashed its stomach in before chopping off all its extremities. Dwarves.
Longest death: 3 pages. (Goblin immediately has both arms broken, is pounced on, bit, punched, and wrestled for a few pages as spearmen poke it. Macemen then break both feet, the upper arms, shoulders, hands, before axedwarves start in with the hacking and punch it in the face and remaining foot until it dies)
Shortest death: 3/4 page (mace to the head)
Most Kills: Axewoman with five, bestowing her the title The Royal Courage of Gorges
One of the Goblin's names translated to Dang Witchnotch.
I also have endured my first siege. It lasted a few seconds before I had killed about eleven goblins. There was one fatality (speardwarf, stabbed in head with iron pike. We'll miss you, Bomrek Keskalilun). My army was... sizable and well trained. Previously one of my axedwarfs ran afoul a thief and bashed its stomach in before chopping off all its extremities. Dwarves.
Longest death: 3 pages. (Goblin immediately has both arms broken, is pounced on, bit, punched, and wrestled for a few pages as spearmen poke it. Macemen then break both feet, the upper arms, shoulders, hands, before axedwarves start in with the hacking and punch it in the face and remaining foot until it dies)
Shortest death: 3/4 page (mace to the head)
Most Kills: Axewoman with five, bestowing her the title The Royal Courage of Gorges
One of the Goblin's names translated to Dang Witchnotch.
Truck
User
Mut is dead. I'm not sure how. I didn't attack it. It didn't really have a way into my fortress either. But it got in, because wings, and then near as I can figure it had its wings nicked and was shot once and plummeted to its death. I only know this because I saw a dwarf hauling its body around.
But hark, new beast!
(also I killed a cyclops in what was ultimately an uneventful fracas. A dwarf got his elbow fucked up but he's fine now)
But hark, new beast!
Quote:
The Forgotten Beast Damid Nelzurinrusos has come! A gigantic buffalo with external ribs. It has a pair of knobby antennae and it undulates rhythmically. Beware its fire!
(also I killed a cyclops in what was ultimately an uneventful fracas. A dwarf got his elbow fucked up but he's fine now)
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A weregecko showed up and ripped an alpaca to shreds and then got confused and left. I've never seen a werebeast last more than a few seconds on the map anyway.
New development in the caverns:
So, if it ever breaks through, I will be fighting sick that attacks using its own sick. Also it can fly. Oh god, it can fly.
edit: attacked my a manotaur. Manotaur gets shot at twice, dodges once, second time gets hit in the leg and falls over, nearby militia captain pulls out steel shield and bashes its brains in. Report on manotaur lasts all of six entries.
New development in the caverns:
Quote:
The Forgotten Beast Mut has come! A huge blob composed of vomit. It has wings and it has a bloated body. Beware its deadly spittle.
So, if it ever breaks through, I will be fighting sick that attacks using its own sick. Also it can fly. Oh god, it can fly.
edit: attacked my a manotaur. Manotaur gets shot at twice, dodges once, second time gets hit in the leg and falls over, nearby militia captain pulls out steel shield and bashes its brains in. Report on manotaur lasts all of six entries.
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dwarven naming conventions
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aaronjer said:
I really can't quite figure how there are 4.8 million of someone else's magic cards in my bedroom.
Well, the 4.8 million magic cards weren't going to go in my room. But they aren't mine either. Nor do I know whose they are. I may be discreetly distributing billions of magic cards of unknowable ownership into the bedrooms of unsuspecting people. Won't you help?
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Real name of actual DF river: Worshiprained the Spicy Secret
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A segmented penis.
User
This isn't new to me but I was sitting at my computer and it got stuck in my head and it's still a delightful song! About horrific violence! Sung in a childish voice! Played on autoharp! With John Parish and Mick Harvey backing! WHY AREN'T YOU ALREADY LISTENING TO IT
Sick vid
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Quote:
Bay 12 Games @Bay12Games · Aug 17
DF 0.40.09 is up at http://www.bay12games.com/dwarves
Family no longer betrays fort to defend ghost of invading relative
DF 0.40.09 is up at http://www.bay12games.com/dwarves
Family no longer betrays fort to defend ghost of invading relative
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Hmmm... I guess I wasn't lying fast enough that time.
Well, I'm sure it's probably nothing more mysterious than your body generating new teeth to fill the gaps that invisalign is trying to create between your old teeth.
Well, I'm sure it's probably nothing more mysterious than your body generating new teeth to fill the gaps that invisalign is trying to create between your old teeth.
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Superjerrrr I thought we agreed that you weren't going to mention these things and that we all conceded that not one of us, nor anyone we knew, nor anyone we could posit as having existed can compete with your prodigious jaw outside of maybe Bruce Campbell.
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Last night was not the first time I had drop kicked someone in a dream, but it did mark the first time that I did it so vigorously, so intensely, that I woke myself up because I had punched myself in the jaw.
Each day is a new adventure. My jaw is sore though
Each day is a new adventure.
My jaw is sore though
User
Nezumi said:
I need to go buy like 3 more of these.
In case Dr. Steve chews through the first two?
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SuperJer said:
My top complaint is actually that the art is boring.
I think the art production was a little uneven. Chun-li and Crimson Viper have really boring levels visually. In a lot of cases it seems like if they just had a background of any kind (Rose, Chun-li, Blanka), the situation would be much improved. Urien's level is really interesting visually and the equivalent of all the Wily levels, they're all visually intricate (so when I wrote this up, I had just finished the most arty section of the game).
User
Yep, that Dhalsim level has three levels with shields or the ability to reflect shit. Come to think of it... I'd say that more enemies can reflect or make shields than not, between the metools, the fire sword guys, the orb circle shield generators, those weird eyes inside sticks, the purple generators, the samurai bots (if they aren't attacking). I hadn't ever really considered it an issue though, since you can take them out in a single charge shot if you time it right. Not true for Rose (purple lady) and Ryu who can both reflect or just pass through some shots.
Urien-level was my favorite, then Blanka-level. Ryu, you probably shouldn't have been fighting without the proper weapon.
Urien-level was my favorite, then Blanka-level. Ryu, you probably shouldn't have been fighting without the proper weapon.
User
Pleased, had been wondering if you were going to do what you did to resolve the e/y issue.
User
Which levels did you play, out of curiosity? Because there are some that are solid and two that I can think of that were just straight left to right lines.
User
The invincibility frames were definitely a drawback, but I don't feel like they were random as I was going through, they were things that you were capable of adjusting to. Enemy variety is a point against the game though.
User
Also, the boss fights are pretty great. With the exception of Dhalsim, who is stupid easy with his weakness, all the others still require strategies to defeat even if you have the right weapon. In particular, the Urien fight can be amazing when executed well.
User
So, I just found out about and subsequently beat Mega Man x Street Fighter. The story is that around the time of the Mega Man and Street Fighter 25th anniversaries, some programmer in Singapore hit up Capcom with the idea of a crossover game. Miraculously, instead of sending out a cease-and-desist as usually happens, Capcom said "hey that sounds like a sweet idea" and gave him a little help and ended up releasing it for free on their website.
What's weird about the game is how fucking good it is? The programmer knew the Mega Man series really well and his level design is among the best they had to offer. In addition, he brought his own little weird things to the table that were seen uncommonly if at all. Branching paths everywhere! Destructible projectiles and walls! Enemies using your own projectiles against you! Loops where you can see the place you're going to access but can't get there yet! TWO SHIELD WEAPONS WHICH ARE BOTH USEFUL! I don't even understand that fully but it's true and I typed it. Also the soundtrack consists of mash-ups of classic themes from both series. Also you test your weapons on Dan Hibiki. And the game is fucking hard (Vega/Balrog's level is sadistic at the start, until you fashion a plan. Vega/Balrog himself is worse).
It's a lot better than a game that seems to be solo-programmed (outside of music and backgrounds) should be. But it's not without its flaws. Unsurprisingly, controller support is shit and my initial attempts to play it resulted in a huge framerate slowdown when I tried to use one. This is aggravating because the controls used are the Mega Man 4 controls, meaning there's a lot of charging and running and sliding. It makes good use of the game's mechanics, but without a controller, well, we all know how keyboards are with multiple simultaneous inputs.
There are also a few conceptual decisions I wasn't so hot about. One is that, trying to appeal to the newer entrants in the series, they added Crimson Viper. I didn't know who the hell she was, but as I understand it, she was Capcom's attempt to make an SNK character. Not too enthused. The other is that the weapon you get from Blanka has more to do with rolling than electricity, in that it's basically the soccer ball from MM8. Not cool. Also, hadoken is basically higher level charged shots, functionality-wise.
But other than that, good game. Locate and play it. Share and enjoy.
What's weird about the game is how fucking good it is? The programmer knew the Mega Man series really well and his level design is among the best they had to offer. In addition, he brought his own little weird things to the table that were seen uncommonly if at all. Branching paths everywhere! Destructible projectiles and walls! Enemies using your own projectiles against you! Loops where you can see the place you're going to access but can't get there yet! TWO SHIELD WEAPONS WHICH ARE BOTH USEFUL! I don't even understand that fully but it's true and I typed it. Also the soundtrack consists of mash-ups of classic themes from both series. Also you test your weapons on Dan Hibiki. And the game is fucking hard (Vega/Balrog's level is sadistic at the start, until you fashion a plan. Vega/Balrog himself is worse).
It's a lot better than a game that seems to be solo-programmed (outside of music and backgrounds) should be. But it's not without its flaws. Unsurprisingly, controller support is shit and my initial attempts to play it resulted in a huge framerate slowdown when I tried to use one. This is aggravating because the controls used are the Mega Man 4 controls, meaning there's a lot of charging and running and sliding. It makes good use of the game's mechanics, but without a controller, well, we all know how keyboards are with multiple simultaneous inputs.
There are also a few conceptual decisions I wasn't so hot about. One is that, trying to appeal to the newer entrants in the series, they added Crimson Viper. I didn't know who the hell she was, but as I understand it, she was Capcom's attempt to make an SNK character. Not too enthused. The other is that the weapon you get from Blanka has more to do with rolling than electricity, in that it's basically the soccer ball from MM8. Not cool. Also, hadoken is basically higher level charged shots, functionality-wise.
But other than that, good game. Locate and play it. Share and enjoy.
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I was partial to the "talk to god and the world breaks" phenomenon.
User
Superjer broke Viscera Cleanup Game by tracking too much gore all over the place. Not that it's hard to break that game (It isn't.)
Good guys would have taken the victory in Betrayal game if Jake?! hadn't rolled the dice that caused him to explode.
Good guys would have taken the victory in Betrayal game if Jake?! hadn't rolled the dice that caused him to explode.
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Tarn Adams is an American hero.
The Bay12 Team also did this in response to a request for Sanic fanfiction.
Quote:
Hopefully people have been able to glean some enjoyment from this version! It seems you shouldn't try to talk to your deity (crash) or block an attack (crash), and there are other crashes associated to having a fort that are under investigation. Having a larger world causes the calendar to lag a great deal (which also affects fort FPS) -- I have several angles on that, and until then trying a smaller world with a shorter history can make it go faster. There are other issues, like flying animals falling out of the sky, mystery babies appearing all over the place, no dwarf-sized equipment in places where it should be, cordial night creatures... I'll try to nab as many of these as possible as we go.
The Bay12 Team also did this in response to a request for Sanic fanfiction.
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Usually the process I see people go through is
Step 1: "I wanna make a game! Games today suck and are boring and not fun and I have a lot of ideas that would make everything better."
Step 2: Attempt
Step 3: "Nnnngghhh making games is hard this isn't fun like I wanted it to be and it's too much work and I don't know how much more I'm going to have to learn before it becomes easier or more fun. I'm just going to sit here and cry and give up and become increasingly larger."
Step 1: "I wanna make a game! Games today suck and are boring and not fun and I have a lot of ideas that would make everything better."
Step 2: Attempt
Step 3: "Nnnngghhh making games is hard this isn't fun like I wanted it to be and it's too much work and I don't know how much more I'm going to have to learn before it becomes easier or more fun. I'm just going to sit here and cry and give up and become increasingly larger."
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A goblin master thief came to visit and now my other bear is named Studamotsmor, or Stud for short, I guess.
This one didn't do the entire fight on his own as the master thief took a bolt to the heart and the lower body and the right upper arm and the kidney first. But once the grizzly entered, right arm scratched, left hand bit, right leg bit (lots of shaking and vomiting), left arm bit (more shaking, vomiting), head bit (more shaking and vomiting), head bit again (repeat), then finally lower body and more shaking. All the while, he was being repeatedly shot at and somehow surviving improbably long through unimaginable bear and arrow-related pain.
This one didn't do the entire fight on his own as the master thief took a bolt to the heart and the lower body and the right upper arm and the kidney first. But once the grizzly entered, right arm scratched, left hand bit, right leg bit (lots of shaking and vomiting), left arm bit (more shaking, vomiting), head bit (more shaking and vomiting), head bit again (repeat), then finally lower body and more shaking. All the while, he was being repeatedly shot at and somehow surviving improbably long through unimaginable bear and arrow-related pain.
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Example: recent kobold incursion, marksdwarf chases and charges kobold to no avail for a while, Grizzly joins in because hey it looks like fun, Grizzly bites through lower body and bruises the lower spine, latches on, kobold thief gets pissed but can't do anything because the Grizzly is too busy shaking the Kobold and spraying guts muscles and arteries every which way. Subsequently named: Slosumu, which is not known to mean anything.
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Oh, it's going to happen, it just may take a while. I think that training them for war and assigning them to my archer squadron could prove to be a deadly combination.
I haven't done much with them just yet, but they've already proven to be a great team of first responders. If a goblin or kobold show up anywhere near my entrance, the grizzlies are usually red in tooth and claw before any dwarves so much as get armor on.
I haven't done much with them just yet, but they've already proven to be a great team of first responders. If a goblin or kobold show up anywhere near my entrance, the grizzlies are usually red in tooth and claw before any dwarves so much as get armor on.
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This fort is going more poorly than I expected. Haven't had time to train military yet, been overambitious in the scope of things and the migration waves have come so quickly (and with so many children) that it's been difficult to compensate and still have everything come together effectively.
But I do have one variable in my favor that I expect to help me survive longer than anticipated: a breeding pair of grizzlies.
But I do have one variable in my favor that I expect to help me survive longer than anticipated: a breeding pair of grizzlies.
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A new Dorf Fortress arrives shortly, bugs and all, but in the short-term, I am playing again, and have discovered that a Mining dorf can create an artifact in a mason's workshop that makes him legendary not in masonry or stonecrafting, but in mining
User
I think I have fixed the problem on my own without anyone's help and it definitely wasn't because I did something wrong or misunderstood anything at all.
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SuperJer said:
If anyone missed anything, may you be directed to:
http://www.reddit.com/r/speedrun/comments/28spkz/sgdq_vods_thread/
http://www.reddit.com/r/speedrun/comments/28spkz/sgdq_vods_thread/
Most of those links don't connect to what they say they do, which is your fault.
User
I'm watching Bonus Stream and a Giant Griffin just pile-drove a blue ball of humanoid sludge that is dressed like a clown. I also gather that all decisive third matches take place on the moon.
Fighting Masters, gents.
Fighting Masters, gents.
User
Saw the last seconds of the Mega Man X2 race, which resulted in the winner removing shirt and flexing wildly in front of the camera. This is GDQ.
[the racers were only about a minute apart]
[the racers were only about a minute apart]
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Do you mean to say that you asked a perfectly normal and ordinary question about ball maintenance under false pretenses?
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I never seem to hit the scheduling right to see what I really want to see, but some of the ones I just happen into can be interesting, like Bleed and ZZT (REACTIONS ASIDE) and the non-intentional WR Duke 2 run. For example, tonight I'll probably be asleep through Fallout 3, Bible Adventures, Castlevania I & 3, the pacifist Ninja Gaiden run by Sinister1, and Ninja Gaiden III.
BUT... Tomorrow has Metroid runs, and Mario runs....
BUT... Tomorrow has Metroid runs, and Mario runs....
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"WHAT? WHAT IS THIS? IS THIS A GAME? HOW IS THIS A GAME? WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK. ARE YOU SERIOUS? WHAT."
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There's a guy in the audience who is handling Cosmond's run of ZZT about as well as Bootfist is capable of handling anything.
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It's Ikachan!
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Black crawdads:
When I grow up, I want to be ____.
The new model of the Karatron 8 Billion has a severe reduction in energy consumption and is now powered solely by _____.
When I grow up, I want to be ____.
The new model of the Karatron 8 Billion has a severe reduction in energy consumption and is now powered solely by _____.
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Nezumi said:
"The Karatron 8,000,000,000 WILL change your life."
"You have NO CHOICE but to have your life changed by The Karatron 8,000,000,000."
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Started playing Dorf Fortress again [even though I never get far]
First migration wave: 13 of 17 are children. Meaning that added to the 0 wave, there are thirteen children to eleven adults.
Waiting for some fucking Village of the Damned shit to go down.
I usually check incoming dorfs to see their military utility. One child: She is indefatigable but she is very weak.
Joy.
First migration wave: 13 of 17 are children. Meaning that added to the 0 wave, there are thirteen children to eleven adults.
Waiting for some fucking Village of the Damned shit to go down.
I usually check incoming dorfs to see their military utility. One child: She is indefatigable but she is very weak.
Joy.
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SuperJer said:
Dog, we have to sign in to look at that, that is much fucked up.
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SuperJer said:
NatureJay said:
Entering a pupal state, not knowing or understanding the end result.
Is that from a nature show?
I wonder if it would sound better with just "knowing" or just "understanding." To me it sounds more implicative.
If you want to choose between the two, that's fine.
It's not from a nature show though. Nez got superpowers on account of there being a chemical spill near his work and I was trying to guess at what some really shitty superpowers were that he might have received. On the level of "body horror" and "who knows what the utility of this is", entering a pupal state not knowing if the results would be good or bad seemed like a pretty amazing shitty superpower.
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Entering a pupal state, not knowing or understanding the end result.
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aaronjer said:
NurtureJack said:
THERE'S A SECOND SEASON OF MUSHISHI?
ASHFJDFDSGLHSDRFGHLADSFweoigutry%g owre fdhvnrawlhwdfilhrwyh?G
ASHFJDFDSGLHSDRFGHLADSFweoigutry%g owre fdhvnrawlhwdfilhrwyh?G
NNNNGGGGHHH NGGGGGHHHH!!! NNNNNNNGGGGGGHHHHH!!! NNGGH!
HLUAGUAALUHUALUGAULUUGHHULAHUAHUOGUOGL
phew
buq25 said:
I've watched the first season of Attack on Titan. It starts off great but slowly just becomes more absurd. It's still worth watching though.
And, yeah, they do kill off characters at a rediculous pace. I can't rememeber how many times the show goes "Oh, here's a whole new bunch of people, because we killed off the last batch".
And, yeah, they do kill off characters at a rediculous pace. I can't rememeber how many times the show goes "Oh, here's a whole new bunch of people, because we killed off the last batch".
I can see it happening. The show is really walking a tightrope because it needs to have enough deaths to make the violence and circumstances convincing, but if it has too much violence and keeps introducing new characters, then the "this is all that remains of humanity" conceit starts to fall apart a little. That's already a danger by focusing on the military over the commoners. I think that a show could be made alone on them pushing back and trying to figure out what caused this without the entrance of the special titans, which I think are probably going to push the show in a more conspiratorial, "this is all happening because of this" direction.
But yeah, it's got good things going for it. Like the anime adaptation specifically vs. the manga... In the manga they escape from Shiganshina after Wall Maria gets wrecked and then two panels later it's "HERE IS THE TOP TEN OF YOUR GRADUATING CLASS." It's bad. You have a whole lot of characters thrown at you all at once that you know jack all about. The way that the anime handled it by having two episodes devoted to boot camp and easing you into all the personalities under a more natural setup just felt better. I don't know yet though if that was purely an invention of the anime or if the mangaka realized he fucked up and stuff all that in as flashback in a later chapter.
Visually, the world sort of reminds me of Fullmetal Alchemist in some ways, the level of technology and the fact that war is one of the subject matters of the show. But Attack on Titan really seems to succeed in that visceral horror of violence and people faced with the prospect of being eaten alive. Watching the various characters come to terms with that is what seems to make the show work. You see that cute couple in Trost and think "I know the way these shows work and one or both of you will be dead by sundown." And it happens. But then you look at the angles of the shot and what you're able to see and what the animators are deliberately not showing you and it's "Ohhh. You're trying to do CPR... on a torso.... please stop..."
Anyway, I'll probably keep at the slowpace for Attack on Titan (hard, since I have a bad habit of spoiling things for myself on Wikipedia) go through the newer season of Mushishi soon to tide me over until Hanamonogatari comes out mid-August. I may look into some of the other entries but I'm sometimes a bit leery of the really acclaimed shows as they can easily disappoint. Along with aaronjer and I think Nez, I was one of maybe five people that didn't think Madoka was amazing. I appreciated it visually and what it was trying to do, I just don't think that it succeeded.
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buq25 said:
Mushishi Zoku Shou
Second season of Mushishi. Mushishi is amazing and the second season is just more of the same.
THERE'S A SECOND SEASON OF MUSHISHI?
ASHFJDFDSGLHSDRFGHLADSFweoigutry%g owre fdhvnrawlhwdfilhrwyh?G
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Nezumi said:
Anyone watched Attack On Titan? I keep hearing about it.
I've been watching it weekly and the corroborating with the manga (which is worse and doesn't develop as naturally somehow!). The show... the characters are a liiiittle flat at the moment, but the plotting and intensity are high-end and characters die constantly. There also have been a few occasions so far where I've thought the show was about to do some standard anime development thing only to throw everyone into the thick of it again. So I approve thus far, some six episodes in.
User
Was thinking while working:
White Card:
Tantric sex.
Black Cards:
Ponce de Leone originally sailed to Florida in search of _____.
Evidence indicates that the ships crew subsisted on ____ before beginning to devour each other.
I'm also proposing that for the time being we use black and white card submissions as replacements over additions. I'd like to achieve more of an equilibrium where people aren't groaning when they see or draw certain cards. That's probably going to lead to some annoying vetting process, but so be it.
White Card:
Tantric sex.
Black Cards:
Ponce de Leone originally sailed to Florida in search of _____.
Evidence indicates that the ships crew subsisted on ____ before beginning to devour each other.
I'm also proposing that for the time being we use black and white card submissions as replacements over additions. I'd like to achieve more of an equilibrium where people aren't groaning when they see or draw certain cards. That's probably going to lead to some annoying vetting process, but so be it.
User
Black card 2fer
Witnesses claim the incident began with an argument over _ and escalated until the victim was killed by _.
Witnesses claim the incident began with an argument over _ and escalated until the victim was killed by _.
User
We have a few black cards that are total trainwrecks right now and I'll admit, some of that is my fault. I should have been testing things better from the get-go. I think that
The only failure a man ought to fear is failure of cleaving to ______ he sees to be best.
could be fixed by changing it to
The only failure a man ought to fear is the failure to cling to ______ he sees to be best.
but I don't know if that would make it funny. I think it would just get it to make more natural a phrasing.
I'm also submitting as a new/replacement black card, to push out one of the ones that's just way too fucking long:
If you're still having trouble with "that thing," I know _____ could help you out.
The only failure a man ought to fear is failure of cleaving to ______ he sees to be best.
could be fixed by changing it to
The only failure a man ought to fear is the failure to cling to ______ he sees to be best.
but I don't know if that would make it funny. I think it would just get it to make more natural a phrasing.
I'm also submitting as a new/replacement black card, to push out one of the ones that's just way too fucking long:
If you're still having trouble with "that thing," I know _____ could help you out.
User
The primal instinct one had me figuratively on the floor.
User
The Terrible Secret of Space.
A crown of femurs.
A crown of femurs.
User
A full head of teeth.
User
SuperJer said:
I'm starting to think we have a lot of poop cards.
I was also thinking this moments ago. Maybe we're all seven-years-old.
Potent neurotoxins.
A human face.
Quetzalcoatl.
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SuperJer said:
Grato.... was that a Turing test or a Turin test you so famously passed?
The answer is shrouded in mystery
User
Turing, you mean.
[One of my professors is writing a book about him!
]
[One of my professors is writing a book about him!
]
User
A thin strand of poop connecting the head to the butt [or however you wish to phrase it]
Dick-fencing
Mumbo-jumbo
Flim-flam
Dick-fencing
Mumbo-jumbo
Flim-flam
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I think that's supposed to be wallpaper paste.
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Oh, it's a cooking thing! I see now. That seems interesting, I may test that.
For fish and chips around here, Spud and Ivar's are both all right for fast-foody fish and chips but not exactly ideal
For fish and chips around here, Spud and Ivar's are both all right for fast-foody fish and chips but not exactly ideal
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It's hard to get Mars Bars out here in the first place, I think you might have to go to Canada for them. But we do have similar things and a cultural imperative to deep-fry as many things as possible including Coca-Cola.
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C'mon you typed way more than that in the beginning.
But yeah, I start typing and just keep goin' and goin'
Also, SRAW, I have never heard of marmalade and whisky? Usually I find people get pretty picky about anything being in their whisky, even ice.
But yeah, I start typing and just keep goin' and goin'
Also, SRAW, I have never heard of marmalade and whisky? Usually I find people get pretty picky about anything being in their whisky, even ice.
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SuperJer said:
NatureJay said:
The only thing the English really got right was breakfast.
What apout Fish & Chips?
So good even Americans call fries chips when paired with fish.
What apout them? Well, your point about chips being sometimes fries and sometimes chips is valid, w/r/t pairing with fish, but a lot of cultures have the notion of battering something and then frying it. The English may have more fun with it (there was a place I used to go to in New York called A Salt and Battery!), it's not really a phenomenon unique to them, they just had the resources (plentiful whitefish) to do right by it. And while I like a good finch and chips now and then, I don't feel like I crave it terribly often. Likewise, it's entirely dependent on fish and batter quality and people don't tend to do it up with seasoning, so it feels like it's something with only moderate expectations.
Full English Breakfast on the other hand is just a combination of so many other delightful things and without it we'd be eating croissants and drinking coffee like a bunch of a effete Frenchmen. I'll admit that it seems likely that other cuisines existed who did up their eggs or their sausages or whatnot as such, but there are definitely some categorically unique English-y things about it and the combination and timing of the meal seem novel.
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The only thing the English really got right was breakfast.
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In more normal? dream news, I dreamt last night that I bumped into the senior English teacher that Nez and I had and that he invited me to his third wedding. The wedding was stylized as a staged murder mystery with a barbecue to follow as the reception. The invitations even said right on them WEDDING/MURDER BBQ. Even though this was my subconscious at work, I can still see him trying to pull off this exact kind of stunt. So, if any of you are planning on getting hitched in the next several, I would recommend implementing this idea immediately. In the meantime, I will know I have found The Right One when she consents to this stupid shit my brain came up with.
User
We could probably stand to have more Neverhood-based white cards, so with that I propose:
A swarm of dead insects.
We may also find functional, as a proposal:
A woman handling a situation with kid gloves.
A swarm of dead insects.
We may also find functional, as a proposal:
A woman handling a situation with kid gloves.
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aaronjer said:
Well, they always do build water temples in places where the veil between worlds is thin.
That could be it! The way my mind was translating it at the time is that this was plainly a desert area and that they probably built it to channel forces so as to render it more inhabitable, like terraforming but with magic. But something went wrong and so there were swampy patches and the rest had regressed to desert. It made me wonder when I woke up what other temples would be like and where they were located...
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User
The yelp reviews also seem to convey something of the wait staff circus.
Also for someone unusually concerned about being child-molested (while not a child) you sure do give away your location and other salient details of your life pretty often there, sraw.
Also for someone unusually concerned about being child-molested (while not a child) you sure do give away your location and other salient details of your life pretty often there, sraw.
Truck
User
I need some blood of the martyr in order to redeem and/or destroy the Federal Reserve Bank please advise
Truck
User
No, I mean this is mostly accurate. Bakemonogatari escapes this somehow despite having something like twelve intro sequences and counting. Outros, while artful, still cliched as fuck. Let's all run around under bright skies and sing about friendship.
Sick vid
Truck
User
This is two-thirds of a dream from the night before last. I'm omitting the final third because it was a non-sequitur.
I should clarify probably a few things. The most important is that the hole that appeared at the end of the road, it wasn't as if my mind said "you shouldn't look into that, something BAD might happen," it was rather "don't bother to look into that because there's nothing you're capable of seeing in it." It was implied that there might be something there but that people generally weren't capable of perceiving anything. The rest of the "sense" of the dream was tertiary: I don't know why I biked that last stretch; I had no explanation for the bubbles and distortions but it's important to mention that I wasn't surprised by them and that they didn't have borders and I don't think I could have interacted with them, they were part of a different plane.
Quote:
i drive along through a landscape of mesas that is desert at a hundred feet above sea level and swamp below. around corners and down into the swamp i drive, the sky above me painted in a swirl as if someone mixed magenta and green watercolors, i drive past shacks and shotgun houses and reach one more cul-de-sac that ends in a a few corinthian columns the color of wet sand, rising out of a sucking hole that i can't seem to see into, and then i make a left.
i stop soon after and pull out a bicycle from the back of my car, then put a pizza in its basket and bike down the remainder of a dust-ridden driveway to a vine-covered house built against the side of a cliff. in all directions in the near distance, i see more of the columns, whole, tilted, broken off, all the same style, as though its architecture were more virus than plan. a man comes to the door, black stubble, small circularly-framed glasses, long black hair, lean, but he doesn't seem consistent, his form warping now and then as though invisible bubbles are passing by between us. "must be weird living next to a ruined water temple," i remark, making small talk as he signs his receipt. 'yeah, but it's not so bad. pretty quiet most of the time," he replies. the clouds swirl a little above the hole, like water circling a drain.
i stop soon after and pull out a bicycle from the back of my car, then put a pizza in its basket and bike down the remainder of a dust-ridden driveway to a vine-covered house built against the side of a cliff. in all directions in the near distance, i see more of the columns, whole, tilted, broken off, all the same style, as though its architecture were more virus than plan. a man comes to the door, black stubble, small circularly-framed glasses, long black hair, lean, but he doesn't seem consistent, his form warping now and then as though invisible bubbles are passing by between us. "must be weird living next to a ruined water temple," i remark, making small talk as he signs his receipt. 'yeah, but it's not so bad. pretty quiet most of the time," he replies. the clouds swirl a little above the hole, like water circling a drain.
I should clarify probably a few things. The most important is that the hole that appeared at the end of the road, it wasn't as if my mind said "you shouldn't look into that, something BAD might happen," it was rather "don't bother to look into that because there's nothing you're capable of seeing in it." It was implied that there might be something there but that people generally weren't capable of perceiving anything. The rest of the "sense" of the dream was tertiary: I don't know why I biked that last stretch; I had no explanation for the bubbles and distortions but it's important to mention that I wasn't surprised by them and that they didn't have borders and I don't think I could have interacted with them, they were part of a different plane.
User
SuperJer said:
Seems kinda ripe for twoferism.
Not all men are _. Therefore, they are _.
I don't know... Maybe something like that.
Not all men are _. Therefore, they are _.
I don't know... Maybe something like that.
If we did that though, then it would seem to risk one or both of the cards being off and not creating a narrative
User
I found a sort of meme and was curious to test it out. Pretty straightforward.
Not all men are _.
It doesn't work grammatically with all of the white cards, but there's enough of them to see it as a functional black card, it's just a question of whether it's funny enough.
I like it because, even though it's outwardly vague, the white card provides both tone and context. It's kind of nifty.
Not all men are _.
Quote:
Not all men are Satan's latest abomination.
Not all men are keepin' it tight.
Not all men are lifeless husks.
Not all men are long pork.
Not all men are the wrong man.
Not all men are the best of us.
Not all men are an asset.
Not all men are godless heathens.
Not all men are keepin' it tight.
Not all men are lifeless husks.
Not all men are long pork.
Not all men are the wrong man.
Not all men are the best of us.
Not all men are an asset.
Not all men are godless heathens.
It doesn't work grammatically with all of the white cards, but there's enough of them to see it as a functional black card, it's just a question of whether it's funny enough.
I like it because, even though it's outwardly vague, the white card provides both tone and context. It's kind of nifty.
User
I'll just riff a bit.
"Whoever collapses first" makes me want to translate it into the more specific, getting "Whoever holds their breath the longest" or something of that ilk. I know that the person who holds their breath the longest wouldn't collapse first, shut up.
"What's for dinner." (a specific "what's")
"What's grinding my gears." (because I like the phrase "grinding my gears")
"Osmosis." (jumping off from moistness)
"Things that aren't intelligible." (THINGS)
"Whoever collapses first" makes me want to translate it into the more specific, getting "Whoever holds their breath the longest" or something of that ilk. I know that the person who holds their breath the longest wouldn't collapse first, shut up.
"What's for dinner." (a specific "what's")
"What's grinding my gears." (because I like the phrase "grinding my gears")
"Osmosis." (jumping off from moistness)
"Things that aren't intelligible." (THINGS)
User
SuperJer said:
NatureJay said:
I was also hoping that the entire page would be tilted at randomly chosen angles
You mean it doesn't for you?!?
Okay, it's fixed on my browser now. Thanks superjer!
User
There we go, thanks supes. I think we can handle two Michael Jackson white cards out of all that we have.
User
CREATIVE COMMONS
User
I've been listening to Soul Coughing's "Michael Jackson" again and it has reminded me of one of my favorite lines in the whole thing... "Michael Jackson is lost in a sea of BIG PEOPLE."
I'm not quite awake enough to know how to make that grammatically work as a white card, "being lost in a sea of BIG PEOPLE" doesn't quite work, "a sea of BIG PEOPLE" doesn't convey that lost feeling, "losing yourself in a sea of BIG PEOPLE" also conveys something different...
I'm not quite awake enough to know how to make that grammatically work as a white card, "being lost in a sea of BIG PEOPLE" doesn't quite work, "a sea of BIG PEOPLE" doesn't convey that lost feeling, "losing yourself in a sea of BIG PEOPLE" also conveys something different...
User
That would be weird considering that Cards Against Humanity doesn't charge for downloads. Perhaps they make money on the hard copies. Also the Creative Commons License stuff they have on the site says you can remix and use and share as you please but no selling without the permission and no name stealing. They have threatened to smash people.
User
I was also hoping that the entire page would be tilted at randomly chosen angles
User
In remembrance of things past at Mexican restaurants, I suggest the white card:
working yourself into a frenzy and inviting others to join in
or just "working yourself into a frenzy"
May need tweaking for grammar, your/my/selves.
working yourself into a frenzy and inviting others to join in
or just "working yourself into a frenzy"
May need tweaking for grammar, your/my/selves.
User
aaronjer said:
a big chicken order
CAN I GET A BIG CHICKEN ORDER
I was actually thinking of suggesting that myself.
WHITE CRAWDAD:
a furious ding-dong
[thanks Achewood]
User
We're about to be not-so current as I spend my shift today thinking about spiders and also some new suggestions.
WHITE CRAWDADS:
Harmonized menstruation.
A mind such as yours.
Getting huge.
Let me emphasize that:
HUGE
BLACK CRAWDAD:
The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in _.
Test cases:
WHITE CRAWDADS:
Harmonized menstruation.
A mind such as yours.
Getting huge.
Let me emphasize that:
HUGE
BLACK CRAWDAD:
The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in _.
Test cases:
Quote:
The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in a disgrace.
The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in no recourse.
The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in placing yourself above others.
The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in a little spurt.
The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in the absolute verifiable truth.
The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in long, spindly legs.
The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in no recourse.
The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in placing yourself above others.
The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in a little spurt.
The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in the absolute verifiable truth.
The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in long, spindly legs.
Truck
User
aaronjer said:
He probably brought a still living sow with him to the holy lands.
It sounds grosser when you put it that way.
Truck
User
I see, I see... so the dream version of Alex succeeds at hiding the pork?
This may be the lowest hanging fruit on historical record.
Also, the mere fact that anyone was able to find that kind of sandwich, let alone a good one, in that part of the world is astonishing. I don't know, maybe it was cooked by that weird group of Palestinian Christians
This may be the lowest hanging fruit on historical record.
Also, the mere fact that anyone was able to find that kind of sandwich, let alone a good one, in that part of the world is astonishing. I don't know, maybe it was cooked by that weird group of Palestinian Christians
User
Omens
Biodegradable condoms
Biodegradable condoms
Truck
User
Even though Frist isn't a real person, I will respect his wishes as though he were.
Truck
User
I promised subadar I'd post this... So I was looking for a guide to mushrooms because I thought it might be an interesting thing to know about once I get hiking again. The concept perhaps has more intrigue for me than the idea of maybe getting food out of it (I don't even like mushrooms that much), but this is it. This is the cover of the book that is regarded as the authority on mushrooms in this region. What is going on with this cover.
User
I was having a Pixies moment walking around thinking of "Monkey Gone to Heaven" and thought, why not test out a black card [even if I had to rephrase it a bit]?
If man is _, then the devil is _ and God is _.
Test cases:
Seems functional.
If man is _, then the devil is _ and God is _.
Test cases:
Quote:
If man is you sick fucks, then the devil is most people and God is an English-speaking Mexican.
If man is a conflict of interest, then the devil is a quandary and God is the scary door.
If man is that urpy feeling like when you eat too much, then the devil is blocking the exit and God is a flood of emotions.
If man is a silly goose, then the devil is Satan's mother and God is a do-gooder.
If man is my latest perversion, then the devil is a feminine penis and God is the last thing I said.
If man is a conflict of interest, then the devil is a quandary and God is the scary door.
If man is that urpy feeling like when you eat too much, then the devil is blocking the exit and God is a flood of emotions.
If man is a silly goose, then the devil is Satan's mother and God is a do-gooder.
If man is my latest perversion, then the devil is a feminine penis and God is the last thing I said.
Seems functional.
User
SuperJer said:
NatureJay said:
Well who hasn't used _____ as _____ when shit got a bit too real?
BlackcardedTFY.
YES.
User
white crods:
Too much peanut butter [or "Too much peanut butter in the mouth", I can't decide]
Breaking down in a cheap hotel room
A choir of angels
Providing unscrupulous advice
An ovipositor
Diversions
Oral fixations
Too much peanut butter [or "Too much peanut butter in the mouth", I can't decide]
Breaking down in a cheap hotel room
A choir of angels
Providing unscrupulous advice
An ovipositor
Diversions
Oral fixations
User
SuperJer said:
Also - did that cookie say "kicking ass with your dick?"
Well who hasn't used their dick as a makeshift blackjack when shit got a bit too real?
Truck
User
Quote:
Distributed by:
My Favorite Company, Inc
My Favorite Company, Inc
Boy howdy! Was this a Japan thing? I'm not seeing enough Engrish.
Edit. nevermind, see on the other photos that it's based in LA which okay
User
seriously this card
or perhaps I just keep hitting the 2fer lottery
Quote:
Looking at the fossil record of the family, you can see the development of a winking hole, now iconic, as well as the decline of the mighty moon-worm to vestigiality.
or perhaps I just keep hitting the 2fer lottery
Quote:
Looking at the fossil record of the family, you can see the development of getting on top, and staying on top, now iconic, as well as the decline of spooning distance to vestigiality.
Truck
User
I'm sick of all these sentient objects bringing my mortality to the fore. YOU HEAR ME GRECIAN URN? I'M SICK OF YOUR SHIT.
User
Okay, I spent most of my shift at work thinking about new black cards that showed a more distinct relationship between the white cards and these are some of my results.
These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was _, part was _, and it was crowned with _.
Test cases:
Early, informal rugby had three primary rules: that the ball should be carried as _, points be scored by crossing _, and at no time should _ appear on the field.
Test cases:
It works all right, but it doesn't play well with rando testing as the grammar is more suited to certain constructions.
Third one!
Looking at the fossil record of the family, you can see the development of _, now iconic, as well as the decline of _ to vestigiality.
Test cases:
I think that card is a fucking winner.
These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was _, part was _, and it was crowned with _.
Test cases:
Quote:
These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was destroying their home planet, part was an electron sex party, and it was crowned with something I just hate.
These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was an injection, part was a technicality, and it was crowned with a demand from the king.
These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was a burst of energy, part was a difficult Canadian, and it was crowned with a lonely old man.
These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was baseless hatred, part was being shot at while fleeing, and it was crowned with MY SKULL!
These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was a nation of damsels, part was prodding, and it was crowned with M. Night Shyamalan-a-ding-dong.
These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was an injection, part was a technicality, and it was crowned with a demand from the king.
These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was a burst of energy, part was a difficult Canadian, and it was crowned with a lonely old man.
These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was baseless hatred, part was being shot at while fleeing, and it was crowned with MY SKULL!
These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was a nation of damsels, part was prodding, and it was crowned with M. Night Shyamalan-a-ding-dong.
Early, informal rugby had three primary rules: that the ball should be carried as _, points be scored by crossing _, and at no time should _ appear on the field.
Test cases:
Quote:
Early, informal rugby had three primary rules: that the ball should be carried as a war canoe, points be scored by crossing wings, and at no time should an upstart appear on the field.
Early, informal rugby had three primary rules: that the ball should be carried as a lonely grave, points be scored by crossing smooth boys, and at no time should a dragon made of motorcycle appear on the field.
Early, informal rugby had three primary rules: that the ball should be carried as a stiff upper lip, points be scored by crossing a Swiss murder suit, and at no time should the only thing left appear on the field.
Early, informal rugby had three primary rules: that the ball should be carried as a falling tree, points be scored by crossing a tribal village, and at no time should big pants appear on the field.
Early, informal rugby had three primary rules: that the ball should be carried as vital developments, points be scored by crossing the southwest corner, and at no time should wriggly little worms appear on the field.
Early, informal rugby had three primary rules: that the ball should be carried as a lonely grave, points be scored by crossing smooth boys, and at no time should a dragon made of motorcycle appear on the field.
Early, informal rugby had three primary rules: that the ball should be carried as a stiff upper lip, points be scored by crossing a Swiss murder suit, and at no time should the only thing left appear on the field.
Early, informal rugby had three primary rules: that the ball should be carried as a falling tree, points be scored by crossing a tribal village, and at no time should big pants appear on the field.
Early, informal rugby had three primary rules: that the ball should be carried as vital developments, points be scored by crossing the southwest corner, and at no time should wriggly little worms appear on the field.
It works all right, but it doesn't play well with rando testing as the grammar is more suited to certain constructions.
Third one!
Looking at the fossil record of the family, you can see the development of _, now iconic, as well as the decline of _ to vestigiality.
Test cases:
Quote:
Looking at the fossil record of the family, you can see the development of turtles that have to pee, now iconic, as well as the decline of something equivalent to vestigiality.
Looking at the fossil record of the family, you can see the development of transvestite cosplay, now iconic, as well as the decline of knowing what to do to vestigiality.
Looking at the fossil record of the family, you can see the development of racist bullshit, now iconic, as well as the decline of what I should have said to vestigiality.
Looking at the fossil record of the family, you can see the development of giving it a tweak, now iconic, as well as the decline of steers and queers to vestigiality.
Looking at the fossil record of the family, you can see the development of wailing, now iconic, as well as the decline of a hunky, Adonis-like male figure to vestigiality.
Looking at the fossil record of the family, you can see the development of transvestite cosplay, now iconic, as well as the decline of knowing what to do to vestigiality.
Looking at the fossil record of the family, you can see the development of racist bullshit, now iconic, as well as the decline of what I should have said to vestigiality.
Looking at the fossil record of the family, you can see the development of giving it a tweak, now iconic, as well as the decline of steers and queers to vestigiality.
Looking at the fossil record of the family, you can see the development of wailing, now iconic, as well as the decline of a hunky, Adonis-like male figure to vestigiality.
I think that card is a fucking winner.
User
Quote:
There is no greater solitude than that of the samurai unless it is that of the tiger in the jungle... Perhaps...
— Bushido (Book of the Samurai)
— Bushido (Book of the Samurai)
That's how it appears on the screen, I don't think it's a translation issue either. The card needs to mimic the structure of the original because that's the only way that the grammar is going to be not-icky.
I think a comma between the blank and unless would make it seem more natural. I always feel a pause there when I say it.
User
SuperJer said:
Shouldn't the solitude/tiger card be:
"There is no greater solitude than that of _ unless it is that of a tiger in the jungle."
I mean, in a way I like how it is. But it makes no sense.
"There is no greater solitude than that of _ unless it is that of a tiger in the jungle."
I mean, in a way I like how it is. But it makes no sense.
That's how it is in the original. fixit fixit fixit fixit fixit fixit.... fixit fixit fixit!
User
Nezumi said:
TBH the philosophical cards kinda bug me. Some, like "There is no greater solitude than _ unless it is that of a tiger in the jungle." can be fun because they make silly nonsense, but I think we have just way too many of them.
I think the problem is that a lot of cards like "I ask that you judge me by _ I have made." simply lack a certain critical specificality.
I think the problem is that a lot of cards like "I ask that you judge me by _ I have made." simply lack a certain critical specificality.
The "no greater solitude" card is taken from Le Samouraï and appears on the screen as supposedly a quote from Bushido, though the quote itself is just bullshit the director made up, which is probably my favorite thing about the card.
We can possibly gain some context from not turning certain things into blanks, like that card that ended in "or fruit", the trouble is that they get really awkward to read back particularly when you're laughing from how the blank has played out. Maybe the solution is just to switch the position of the two, keeping the fruit but ending on the blank.
But yes, more cards that have a context.
User
I just ran superjer's card testing machine and this popped out.
NO NO NO NO NO NO
And then, as if inspired by Nezrumi's remarks, the machine spat me this
I'm now really happy with that card.
Quote:
Who needs a giant brain with four faces but no limbs and the properties of dwarfs when this sentence can do the job of both?
NO NO NO NO NO NO
And then, as if inspired by Nezrumi's remarks, the machine spat me this
Quote:
Every man who is not firing a volley of muskets into a dark room, an old hornet, or an enjoyable life is the slave of some woman or other.
I'm now really happy with that card.
User
Nezumi said:
SuperJer said:
This makes me even more want to include vocal style suggestions for some cards.
"Intone this card reverently, like a king is burying his baby son."
"I'm sorry that I didn't like you, little guy."
I'm fine with tonal cards as long as you aren't asking me to sing or rap things I don't want to sing or rap.
Nezumi said:
Also, thinking about Jay's "Every man who is not _, _, or _ etc." card made me realize how good that format is for putting a verb/noun combo (like 'adopting a romanian baby') in the first space. It makes it sound like the verb applies to the other blanks. It works with some other cards too, like "...a refreshing douche of sprite, more blood, or a tiny Jamaican."
So we need some black cards with consecutive blanks (or "_ or _" or "_ and _").
I know, I was thinking that when you posted your test run of my cards. As you said, both the lists of just "or"s or the partial fill-in-the-blanks like the seven deadly sins one seem to create some interesting effects.
I'm trying to think of other authors that write with a lot of parataxis, but the only one I can think of offhand tends to have sentences that go on for pages. Also he's kind of crazy. But I'll take a look this evening at some point and see if he has anything that fits the form.
I'm also thinking, riffing off the tonal bit from earlier, that we could probably stand to have more cards that have an emotional charge to them. We've been dipping deeply into more philosophical cards, and that can generate some unusual statements, but they're a little self-contained and some variety could be appreciated.
User
Nah, it can be cut, that was my oversight. I've just been really excited about the two blank onefer is all.
The original quote was "bravery" in the blanks, so you can see how it works...
The original quote was "bravery" in the blanks, so you can see how it works...
User
Yeah, that last'un bugged me because I knew that it could work but you'd have to tweak the way you say it each time, which seems like a bore. Or seems like someone just couldn't do it each time out and it would be a drag. But I REALLY want more play 1s with two blanks.
People glorify ____ except the ___ they might show on behalf of their nearest neighbors.
People glorify all reasons for ____ except the ___ they might show on behalf of their nearest neighbors.
The former is cleaner, but each iteration I seem to hastily come up with loses that feeling of variety.
Edit:
WAIT WAIT WAIT I GOT IT, you only need to move stuff around
People glorify ____ of all sorts except the ___ they might show on behalf of their nearest neighbors.
Or to rephrase it to make it less awkward
People glorify ____ in all its varieties except the ____ they might show on behalf of their nearest neighbors.
It's not perfect, but it's getting closer.
People glorify ____ except the ___ they might show on behalf of their nearest neighbors.
People glorify all reasons for ____ except the ___ they might show on behalf of their nearest neighbors.
The former is cleaner, but each iteration I seem to hastily come up with loses that feeling of variety.
Edit:
WAIT WAIT WAIT I GOT IT, you only need to move stuff around
People glorify ____ of all sorts except the ___ they might show on behalf of their nearest neighbors.
Or to rephrase it to make it less awkward
People glorify ____ in all its varieties except the ____ they might show on behalf of their nearest neighbors.
It's not perfect, but it's getting closer.
User
I'm going through a lot of quotes from George Eliot because she makes broad statements that seem like they would work with this.
I'm throwing these out to the group to test because I've tried and drawn some middling white cards.
BLACK CRADS:
Our moral progress may be measured by the degree in which we sympathize with ____ and ____
The only failure a man ought to fear is failure of cleaving to ______ he sees to be best.
The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us, and we see nothing but _____; the angels come to visit us, and we only know ____ when they are gone.
Every man who is not ____, _____, or ____ is the slave of some woman or other.
[the original was monster, mathematician, mad philosopher. Keep one or more if they make the results funnier, or add a blank for "some woman"]
A man never lies with more delicious languor under the influence of ___ than when he has persuaded himself that he shall subdue it tomorrow.
_________, like other dramatic spectacles, might possibly cease for want of a "public."
People glorify all sorts of ____ except the ___ they might show on behalf of their nearest neighbors [play 1]
I'm throwing these out to the group to test because I've tried and drawn some middling white cards.
BLACK CRADS:
Our moral progress may be measured by the degree in which we sympathize with ____ and ____
The only failure a man ought to fear is failure of cleaving to ______ he sees to be best.
The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us, and we see nothing but _____; the angels come to visit us, and we only know ____ when they are gone.
Every man who is not ____, _____, or ____ is the slave of some woman or other.
[the original was monster, mathematician, mad philosopher. Keep one or more if they make the results funnier, or add a blank for "some woman"]
A man never lies with more delicious languor under the influence of ___ than when he has persuaded himself that he shall subdue it tomorrow.
_________, like other dramatic spectacles, might possibly cease for want of a "public."
People glorify all sorts of ____ except the ___ they might show on behalf of their nearest neighbors [play 1]
User
[white crad]
A haunted theremin
A haunted theremin
User
[white card]
Edible disguises.
Edible disguises.
User
Nezumi said:
"David Bowie, the Ultimate Moonlord"
How are there no David Bowie cards already?
How are there no David Bowie cards already?
David Bowie's mysterious bulge
User
I know we're in need of more black cards and I'll get on that almost tomorrow but in the meantime a POWERFUL phrase from the days of yore compelled me and I have no choice but to submit to our stock of white cards:
coyote bisque
[or whatever grammatically makes the most sense.]
coyote bisque
[or whatever grammatically makes the most sense.]
User
SuperJer said:
Nezumi said:
A victorian penny dreadful
I don't get it.
Here's the phrase "penny dreadful" used in context.
Quote:
Zero: What happened?
M. Gustave: What happened, my dear Zero, is I beat the living shit out of a sniveling little runt called Pinky Bandinski, because if we've learned one thing from Penny Dreadfuls, it's that you can't be a candy ass; you've got to earn their respect. You should take a long look at his ugly mug this morning.
[Takes a sip of water and laughs]
M. Gustave: He's actually become a dear friend.
M. Gustave: What happened, my dear Zero, is I beat the living shit out of a sniveling little runt called Pinky Bandinski, because if we've learned one thing from Penny Dreadfuls, it's that you can't be a candy ass; you've got to earn their respect. You should take a long look at his ugly mug this morning.
[Takes a sip of water and laughs]
M. Gustave: He's actually become a dear friend.
User
"a child drowning in a vat of molasses"
"a banjo-plucking frog"
"Teddy Roosevelt's giant fossilized face"
"a powerful skeleton, William Howard Taft"
"an unscheduled cement testing contest"
Black crad:
One cannot be always laughing at a man without now and then stumbling on _________.
"a banjo-plucking frog"
"Teddy Roosevelt's giant fossilized face"
"a powerful skeleton, William Howard Taft"
"an unscheduled cement testing contest"
Black crad:
One cannot be always laughing at a man without now and then stumbling on _________.
User
"whatever Alex reads this as"
"a historical dame"
"a historical dame"
User
"hibernating with friends"
User
I don't get it.
User
Wait, puss or pus?
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fiiiiine... I just wanted a place to put that picture because I just found it again....... I think it could technically count because it wasn't something that I found searching on the internet, it was something that happened while I was playing the game and thus was a first-hand experience...
Saw this on Christmas, sent it to Superjer immediately. Now the world knows.
Saw this on Christmas, sent it to Superjer immediately. Now the world knows.
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this happened when i was playing Soul Blazer but I forgot to tell people about it.
this is sound advice for anyone who ever needs it.
this is sound advice for anyone who ever needs it.
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hehehe kitty!
User
I thought about that too! No reason to not take it out for a spin as a twofer.
User
I figured that in order to test this theory I should see if I could get a good response out of the first line of Pride and Prejudice.
"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of ______."
White cards drawn:
An underwear shoot.
A flip.
A mindless animal response.
A horse's mouth.
Tangled memories.
Much needed supplies.
A sexually aggressive woman.
A good strategy.
A perverted, unnatural cavern.
Sex smell.
No knockouts there, but "A mindless animal response" and "A perverted, unnatural cavern" are just good enough to make me think that it's a viable black card. "A sexually aggressive woman" also scores points on the basis of True Facts.
"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of ______."
White cards drawn:
An underwear shoot.
A flip.
A mindless animal response.
A horse's mouth.
Tangled memories.
Much needed supplies.
A sexually aggressive woman.
A good strategy.
A perverted, unnatural cavern.
Sex smell.
No knockouts there, but "A mindless animal response" and "A perverted, unnatural cavern" are just good enough to make me think that it's a viable black card. "A sexually aggressive woman" also scores points on the basis of True Facts.
User
The vagina one is good. I feel like I don't know what the recipe is for, it's too specific, and would take too damned long to read.
I double-approve of anything involving a Jane Austen quote and think that her work could probably be mined for additional black cards.
I double-approve of anything involving a Jane Austen quote and think that her work could probably be mined for additional black cards.
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Skate is actually so fast that you cannot see his right leg in that image.
User
For serious: "Desperate dog sex" is a white card, right?
User
SuperJer said:
aaronjer said:
SuperJer said:
Twerking while sitting perfectly still and making no sounds whatsoever.
Rejected.
YOLO.
User
Twerking out both ends.
User
aaronjer said:
Twerking your front butt.
I think we should ignore this suggestion from aaronjer and instead twerk whichever butt and/or butts God gave us so as to glory Him the most
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aaronjer said:
It's not funny. A man died.
Let this be a lesson to all of you on the proper course when life happens to give you lemons.
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posted in loving memory of that one time (last night) when superjer couldn't come to dinner and I tried to deep six a lemon in his honor but failed utterly.
User
SuperJer said:
Kelli said:
NatureJay said:
Hotboxing a cat.
Thank you for doing your part to address the concerning lack of hotboxing cards in the game so far.
But now we also have an excess of scuba air cards.
Does this mean it's too late to suggest "hotboxing while wearing a scuba rebreather"?
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I had a dream last night where four minutes of the subplot that ended the dream involved me getting advice from my father on where to get the best drip coffee in the area while the mall we were in was under siege by a combination of demons and terrorists. I couldn't find the first place he mentioned, so I went to the second one where, as plate glass and ceilings were crumbling all around us, I was mostly irritated by the fact that no one serving me seemed to be fluent in English and that they were confused by my simple questions. They too, were completely nonchalant about the surrounding chaos.
This was all far more interesting than SRAW's dream, possibly only because I don't regularly drink coffee
This was all far more interesting than SRAW's dream, possibly only because I don't regularly drink coffee
User
Hotboxing a cat.
User
I think it's a sign that you have a keeper there.
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aaronjer said:
That's very special.
During the rest of the dream, I was a journalist investigating a very dark and violent dystopian film in which a military state was employing cyborgs to carry out brutal false flag operations against unregistered civilians!
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So I'm now going to tell you about PART of a dream that I had last night and the reason I'm only going to tell you about PART of the dream is because this event happened roughly in the middle of the dream and was completely a non-sequitur and nothing before or after in the dream served to explain it in any way.
In the middle of the dream, there was a McDonald's advertisement that followed a style I've seen once or twice where they talk about the new menu item as the menu item is assembled on screen between choppy camera cuts. The menu item they were adding was something they were calling a "flan", but it wasn't actually a flan at all, it was just a chocolate mouse cake that in no way resembled a flan.
As soon as the commercial ended, it cut away to a man sitting in his old Cadillac in a run-down industrial district. "FLAN!" the man screamed sort of like Kirk screamed "KHAN!" in that movie. Immediately after he finishes screaming, the car, from below with sources unseen, begins filling with chocolate pudding as the man thrashes about as if he's drowning screaming "NO! NOOO!" As soon as the car is filled with pudding, the camera pans out again and the car is hit head-on by a train. As in the car had been sitting directly on the tracks, facing the train, and was hit by it at full speed.
In the dream, I was laughing very hard by now, believing that I had no idea what had just happened or why it had just happened but that I ought to tell everyone about it once I woke up.
And now I'm here.
In the middle of the dream, there was a McDonald's advertisement that followed a style I've seen once or twice where they talk about the new menu item as the menu item is assembled on screen between choppy camera cuts. The menu item they were adding was something they were calling a "flan", but it wasn't actually a flan at all, it was just a chocolate mouse cake that in no way resembled a flan.
As soon as the commercial ended, it cut away to a man sitting in his old Cadillac in a run-down industrial district. "FLAN!" the man screamed sort of like Kirk screamed "KHAN!" in that movie. Immediately after he finishes screaming, the car, from below with sources unseen, begins filling with chocolate pudding as the man thrashes about as if he's drowning screaming "NO! NOOO!" As soon as the car is filled with pudding, the camera pans out again and the car is hit head-on by a train. As in the car had been sitting directly on the tracks, facing the train, and was hit by it at full speed.
In the dream, I was laughing very hard by now, believing that I had no idea what had just happened or why it had just happened but that I ought to tell everyone about it once I woke up.
And now I'm here.
User
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Down Rodeo said:
Flash is a ded tecnology, disqus
User
"Forgetting about the whole universe"
and from tonight
"Giving birth to a prosthetic baby"
I leave the bit about giving a prosthetic penis a hand job, possibly with a prosthetic hand, to everyone else's discretion.
and from tonight
"Giving birth to a prosthetic baby"
I leave the bit about giving a prosthetic penis a hand job, possibly with a prosthetic hand, to everyone else's discretion.
User
"Dubious girl."
Also Jeff wants me to add
"The Leeman's Halfway House for Silly Girls."
I will also accept "The Halfway House for Silly Girls." but I don't know if Jeff will.
Also Jeff wants me to add
"The Leeman's Halfway House for Silly Girls."
I will also accept "The Halfway House for Silly Girls." but I don't know if Jeff will.
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Not gay enough.
User
I feel like "Farting in my sleep" is the type of phrasing that often paired well with OG questions like "How am I maintaining my relationship status?"
User
I have now seen the Super Punch-Out!! run.
"I accidentally did a frame perfect counter."
"I accidentally did a frame perfect counter."
User
You already know his face! It's right there! GOD.
User
SRAW said:
DR suggested it by saying he would pay to subscribe to them on twitch (on the AGDQ channel it was $5 to get extra subscriber smileyes)
oh boy, pay $5 and become instantly recognized as the worst possible person, spamming smileys non-stop into the feed with nothing else to say or be said
User
Presumably, he was also high.
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In one of my dreams last night, I was watching a Superman movie that Nez and aaronjer told me specifically not to watch because it was just agonizingly dumb. I got through most of it and it was all right for superhero fare, but in the climax, the major plot point was that the moon was about to overheat and explode and the only way to keep this from happening was to temporarily transfer Earth's oceans to the moon and then back. As they were explaining this, I thought to myself that aaronjer and Nez were right and this movie really was insufferably dumb. 
User
This Punch-out (or Puch-Out!!, as the upload says) is the best Punch/Puch-Out!!
Sick vid
User
fedex _ said:
SuperJer said:
Yeah, well I was watching the Super Metroid race WHILE I GOT MY PB!
What does pb stand for? , I always wanted to know and never got around asking someone to tell me what it stands for.
Peanut Butter. Superjer's a pro, he can multitask playing Zelda, watching Super Metroid, and grocery shopping all at the same time.
User
Watching the Cave Story speedrun on YouTube. AncientJones donated?
Two complaints:
#WHAN: The version they uploaded also has ~fifteen minutes of game setup. WHY WOULD ANYONE EVER WANT TO WATCH GAME SETUP
#TOOO: The sidebar chat. It has three or four entries a second and most of them are assholes spamming icons or otherwise saying useless irritating shit. WHY WOULD YOU TAKE UP A FIFTH OF THE SCREEN SPACE WITH THAT COCKAMAMIE BULLROAR?
Two complaints:
#WHAN: The version they uploaded also has ~fifteen minutes of game setup. WHY WOULD ANYONE EVER WANT TO WATCH GAME SETUP
#TOOO: The sidebar chat. It has three or four entries a second and most of them are assholes spamming icons or otherwise saying useless irritating shit. WHY WOULD YOU TAKE UP A FIFTH OF THE SCREEN SPACE WITH THAT COCKAMAMIE BULLROAR?
User
Nezumi said:
Heavy iron dildoes.
Sweedish murder suit.
Sweedish murder suit.
It's "Swiss Murder Suit," dummy.
User
Holy shizz the Zero Mission guy just got the world record.
User
SuperJer said:
My new best Zelda time:
04:02.58 Level-2
12:28.87 Level-1
17:56.78 Level-3
23:44.13 Level-4
30:53.85 Level-6
35:46.51 Level-5
40:08.52 Level-7
43:33.92 Level-8
53:24.84 Level-9 (GAME)
I did a test stream on Twitch in 55:00 (about). The recording is up but the framerate is bad. I need to use a faster computer.
www.twitch.tv/superjercom
04:02.58 Level-2
12:28.87 Level-1
17:56.78 Level-3
23:44.13 Level-4
30:53.85 Level-6
35:46.51 Level-5
40:08.52 Level-7
43:33.92 Level-8
53:24.84 Level-9 (GAME)
I did a test stream on Twitch in 55:00 (about). The recording is up but the framerate is bad. I need to use a faster computer.
www.twitch.tv/superjercom
I WAS IN THE ROOM WHEN IT HAPPENED
(ato and I were busy watching the Super Metroid race)
User
It's interesting to watch a Sanic '06 run in which the runner is eerily, almost lazily calm throughout and the audience claps every time something they don't understand happens, which is sufficiently often.
User
I don't know eminem's work all that much but I'm just going to assume that it's all like this.
http://momspaghetti.ytmnd.com/
http://momspaghetti.ytmnd.com/
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I forgot about this .gif which is a shame because it's one of my all-time favs.
User
Yes, because I've been around Crytax.
User
The feed's really laggy for Mario 3. So all I have to mention is this: someone offered an additional $80 if the room would all Caramelldansen. Everyone looked at each other, confused, except for one guy in the far back, frantically doing Caramelldansen, as no one paid attention to him.
User
See, I just started watching again and am getting the tail end of the Mega Man X3 run, which is disappointing. But it's a 100% run, and he fought the alternate first Doppler boss, which I had never seen, and he cheated his way up the spike wall in Doppler 2 before glitching out the boss.
User
fedex _ said:
SuperJer said:
I was at work, with the Yoshi's Island run in a window, and the Internet went mostly out, except the video kept playing. At the same time some guy came in declaring there was a water leak so everyone got up in a panic, like OMG THE INTERNET IS WET. I decided to watch more Yoshi's Island and I pulled up the window and... it was just steaming a 100% empty room.
I was all WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY WORLD?
So I ran Zelda again when I got home and almost got under an hour:
04:10.07 Level 2 Triforce
11:59.62 Level 1 Triforce
19:26.08 Level 3 Triforce
26:22.07 Level 4 Triforce
35:48.28 Level 6 Triforce
41:54.33 Level 5 Triforce
46:35.03 Level 7 Triforce
49:11.68 Level 8 Triforce
60:00.96 Zelda
I was all WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY WORLD?
So I ran Zelda again when I got home and almost got under an hour:
04:10.07 Level 2 Triforce
11:59.62 Level 1 Triforce
19:26.08 Level 3 Triforce
26:22.07 Level 4 Triforce
35:48.28 Level 6 Triforce
41:54.33 Level 5 Triforce
46:35.03 Level 7 Triforce
49:11.68 Level 8 Triforce
60:00.96 Zelda
Can you go on twitch and stream? plz?
The best Zelda time is 31:39 :\ At least that's what SDA has. Zelda Speed Runs has 33:49 on emulator. Subadar's ~hour play would rank #18 there.
User
GJ, SJ.
I am now watching RE4(Wii) NG+. The guy murdered the Del Lago, shortly after it was mentioned that Del Lago is typically a run-killer. Why am I not surprised? HINT: I HAVE PLAYED THE GAME.
I kind of wish that the other RE games had weird glitches like Ditman so that they were more conducive to speed running.
I am now watching RE4(Wii) NG+. The guy murdered the Del Lago, shortly after it was mentioned that Del Lago is typically a run-killer. Why am I not surprised? HINT: I HAVE PLAYED THE GAME.
I kind of wish that the other RE games had weird glitches like Ditman so that they were more conducive to speed running.
User
The Yoshi's Island runner had to do the last couple of worlds without a shirt because there's a bidding war that ensures that this happens for every live speed run he does.
User
Few of the runs that I've wanted to watch this year have been at times where I've been awake and computer accessible. I wanted to see the Cave Story run, but couldn't so I just watched a TAS instead.
I am watching the Yoshi's Island now. There was a fire alarm around 1:12 that fucked EVERYTHING up.
I am watching the Yoshi's Island now. There was a fire alarm around 1:12 that fucked EVERYTHING up.
User
your welcome
Sick vid
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Huh. New avatar... eDan... Poe?
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I think it was previously established that we can't do things or don't know how. I'll mention it to Superjer, our ineptitude that is.
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Real actual aaronjer quotes said:
The only thing I care about is how long it is.
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SOME SHOWS CAN'T TELL A STORY IN 13, 26, OR ANY NUMBER OF OTHER EPISODES
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I hadn't watched that many anime movies, outside of the stuff Studio Ghibli has put out, so I've decided to rectify that.
I just watched Summer Wars, which broadly deals with an out of control AI that gains too many permissions and tries to blow up the world. Some of the plot points and why things go the way they go are rather irritating and simplistic (Shota is terrrrrrrrible! children are annoying! everyone has these weird connections!), as are certain assumptions that go into the very premise. Others of the plot points are pretty obvious, in that it's very deliberately structured and there are hella Chekhov's guns laying about. But it's pretty as hell, as one might expect from MADHOUSE, I was entertained throughout, and it was paced quite well.
I'd give it about a 7.5/10, worth looking into. the main character shares a voice actor with Dean Venture from The Venture Bros in case you have trouble placing it.
I just watched Summer Wars, which broadly deals with an out of control AI that gains too many permissions and tries to blow up the world. Some of the plot points and why things go the way they go are rather irritating and simplistic (Shota is terrrrrrrrible! children are annoying! everyone has these weird connections!), as are certain assumptions that go into the very premise. Others of the plot points are pretty obvious, in that it's very deliberately structured and there are hella Chekhov's guns laying about. But it's pretty as hell, as one might expect from MADHOUSE, I was entertained throughout, and it was paced quite well.
I'd give it about a 7.5/10, worth looking into. the main character shares a voice actor with Dean Venture from The Venture Bros in case you have trouble placing it.
User
(deep breath)
GAAAAAAAAA
no actually that was pretty funny and seemed to accurately represent the conventions of the genre etc... and all from a lakitu! do lakitu have spiny peens? now i don't want to be thinking about this
AAAAAYYYYY
GAAAAAAAAA
no actually that was pretty funny and seemed to accurately represent the conventions of the genre etc... and all from a lakitu! do lakitu have spiny peens? now i don't want to be thinking about this
AAAAAYYYYY
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Remember when they built a Ford Mustang out of wood, did donuts on the Trojan plains and then challenged Hector to a drag race? Those were the days.
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SRAW said:
do they have skyscrapers in greece?
Nah, it's mostly high school students, burgers, cars, leather jackets, etc...
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Outcast said:
Someone delete this gay shit,quick.
Sounds like somebody's sexuality is being threatened.
By me.
I will fucking punch your sexuality.
In the dick.
User
Tasteful blackface.
User
Pendleton Ward and David Hellman?
Excuse me, I'm going to stand over here, being in awe.
Excuse me, I'm going to stand over here, being in awe.
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You can't even make them clickable links, n00b?
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I'm now in the midst of the episode where Guu is laughing and, despite a weak main character, this show seems to be getting better and better.
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I LOOK FORWARD TO THINGS WITH ANTICIPATION
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Kuroshitsuji is definitely one where the comedy aspect has no traditional straight man; it's really all about the interactions amongst the characters, which makes the eventual payoff that much better, realizing that the characters themselves aren't totally incompetent, they're just bad at their present occupations.
When I'm complaining about straight men in comedy anime, I don't mean to convey that they're universally a bad thing. In FLCL, Naoto is absolutely a straight man, but that has bearing in his character; he's in that awkward part of the teenage years where he's overly concerned about what people think of him, and he thinks that he knows everything about how the worlds works and how people should behave. It's an aspect of his personality, but it isn't the only aspect. I actually think Naoto is one of the most complex characters I've seen in a show given that a) the show is serious and not really serious and b) they rendered him better in six episodes than most shows develop characters in thirteen or twenty-six episodes. It's baffling really. Even his contradictions make sense given what context you have of him.
It's similar in Bakemonogatari. Araragi is the straight man, definitely, but in his case it also makes sense, given that he's the responsible, self-sacrificing, partially immortal one, AND it's tempered by him constantly doing whatever shady perverted thing he can get away with. He enforces some rules and stretches others because he can. He's also dealing with a wide and varied cast of characters, most of which also have moments where they have to be the serious one in their conversations with him (Shinobu, Senjougahara, Hachikuji, and Hanekawa all play that role at various points).
Watching Jungle Guu, at least through the first couple of episodes, Hare's defining characteristic is that he doesn't get Guu and what she's doing usually upsets him while the rest of the cast remains mostly oblivious. There's neither explanation nor variation, so Hare is just there to spell out everything that the audience is already seeing and knows. The reason the show still seems worth watching to me is that everything else that's happening around them, the things inside Guu, the weird shit in the jungle that's maybe a plant and maybe and animal but who knows, that's all still interesting even if the core interactions are predictable.
When I'm complaining about straight men in comedy anime, I don't mean to convey that they're universally a bad thing. In FLCL, Naoto is absolutely a straight man, but that has bearing in his character; he's in that awkward part of the teenage years where he's overly concerned about what people think of him, and he thinks that he knows everything about how the worlds works and how people should behave. It's an aspect of his personality, but it isn't the only aspect. I actually think Naoto is one of the most complex characters I've seen in a show given that a) the show is serious and not really serious and b) they rendered him better in six episodes than most shows develop characters in thirteen or twenty-six episodes. It's baffling really. Even his contradictions make sense given what context you have of him.
It's similar in Bakemonogatari. Araragi is the straight man, definitely, but in his case it also makes sense, given that he's the responsible, self-sacrificing, partially immortal one, AND it's tempered by him constantly doing whatever shady perverted thing he can get away with. He enforces some rules and stretches others because he can. He's also dealing with a wide and varied cast of characters, most of which also have moments where they have to be the serious one in their conversations with him (Shinobu, Senjougahara, Hachikuji, and Hanekawa all play that role at various points).
Watching Jungle Guu, at least through the first couple of episodes, Hare's defining characteristic is that he doesn't get Guu and what she's doing usually upsets him while the rest of the cast remains mostly oblivious. There's neither explanation nor variation, so Hare is just there to spell out everything that the audience is already seeing and knows. The reason the show still seems worth watching to me is that everything else that's happening around them, the things inside Guu, the weird shit in the jungle that's maybe a plant and maybe and animal but who knows, that's all still interesting even if the core interactions are predictable.
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aaronjer said:
I guess if you don't like it, you don't like it. I still think it's pure magic, though. Especially when Weda beats up those bank robbers... still makes my heart skip a beat.
No, I like it, enough to keep watching, I just think that the straight man trope is starting to bore me. It was the same thing when I was watching Cromartie High School and there was all that background commentary on whether or not anyone was going to point out that Mechazawa is a robot.
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I've watched an episode of Jungle Guu and I don't understand what's happening.
There's also a tendency in comedy anime to have at all times a straight man explaining the jokes and absurdities to the audience. I'm a little tired of it.
There's also a tendency in comedy anime to have at all times a straight man explaining the jokes and absurdities to the audience. I'm a little tired of it.
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I've discovered the means to do so so I guess I'm watching Jungle Guu now (Jungle Wa Itsumo Hare Nochi Guu, if you can't find it that easily)
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SRAW said:
anime? more like ani-GHEY, amirite?
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Aw man I was totally going to recommend the hell out of Bakemonogatari, seeing as how the initial run of this thread was before I became a Nisio Isin fanboy, but you're already watching them it seems. And you've hit up Katanagatari and I haven't watched enough of Medaka Box to formulate an opinion, though I hear that its "high school, slice-of-life" facade blows up later and it becomes a completely different show. Which seems like something Nisio Isin would do, I just don't have the patience to get to that point, or haven't yet
If you get into Durarara!!! and like the style then you should also hit up Ryohogo Narita's other adapted series, Baccano! The plot is that a few hundred years back someone on a ship sailing for the New World made a deal with the devil (or something that says it was the devil) and subsequently unlocked a formula for immortality. Crazy shit ensues and moving up to the modern era, more people become immortal, on purpose or on accident, and some of those are probably are too irresponsible to be immortal. Most of the characters are crazy at any rate and the Rail Tracer might be one of the most sociopathic (though entertaining) characters I've seen.
Its flaws: Like Durarara!!!, they opted for a limited-run adaptation of what was still an ongoing light novel series, so unlike Bakemonogatari, they had to tie shit up without resolving much of anything between the characters (there's just an arc or two) and who knows if they'll ever finish the damn thing.
The other flaw: it's jumpy. As in it spends a lot of time bouncing around between time periods and locations and while I appreciate the experiment, its purpose is obscured by its excesses.
If you get into Durarara!!! and like the style then you should also hit up Ryohogo Narita's other adapted series, Baccano! The plot is that a few hundred years back someone on a ship sailing for the New World made a deal with the devil (or something that says it was the devil) and subsequently unlocked a formula for immortality. Crazy shit ensues and moving up to the modern era, more people become immortal, on purpose or on accident, and some of those are probably are too irresponsible to be immortal. Most of the characters are crazy at any rate and the Rail Tracer might be one of the most sociopathic (though entertaining) characters I've seen.
Its flaws: Like Durarara!!!, they opted for a limited-run adaptation of what was still an ongoing light novel series, so unlike Bakemonogatari, they had to tie shit up without resolving much of anything between the characters (there's just an arc or two) and who knows if they'll ever finish the damn thing.
The other flaw: it's jumpy. As in it spends a lot of time bouncing around between time periods and locations and while I appreciate the experiment, its purpose is obscured by its excesses.
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I think it's a weird way to go about a business, but a lot of religions seem to go heavy on the evangelism because money and shit. Also souls maybe. I do see Mormons around, very well dressed going door to door in the area where I live, but it seems more likely that if they visited my home that I would not flip my shit, and would instead invite them to sit down and immediately make myself an Irish Coffee. From there, I guess it would depend on my mood as to whether or not I brought up Mountain Meadows.
For some reason, missionaries kind of creep me out.
For some reason, missionaries kind of creep me out.
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I had a dream last night that my mom had ordered shoes or a phone battery or something online and had it delivered to the house. When the man arrived to deliver the package, I assumed he was a missionary or something and chased him off in a rage. So terrified he was that he entirely forgot to deliver the package, and my mom complained to the company. The company, extremely embarrassed by their deliveryman's conduct, sent ME (not my mother) a bunch of 8-bit to 32-bit era Japanese consoles with now-rare games such as Secret of Mana and things that were never originally released in the U.S. like Final Fantasy V and Seiken Densetsu 3. They also sent whatever the hell my mom ordered too but mostly it was about me arbitrarily getting phat l00t for scaring some shifty guy off the property.
Especially compelling or weird? Not by the standards of my usual dreams. Entertaining? Hella.
Especially compelling or weird? Not by the standards of my usual dreams. Entertaining? Hella.
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I answer to a higher power, which is to say Thrones. Fucking spinning wheels within wheels covered in eyes and spinning rims. what what
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They're not random brain activity, you n00b, they're messages from God and I will SMITE anyone who says otherwise.
ooooooohit would have been funnier if aaronjer said it.
ooooooohit would have been funnier if aaronjer said it.
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aaronjer, upon realizing he's in a dream, finds the nearest pretty young thing and puts it to her. i, upon realizing i's in a dream, promptly do something to kill myself. i usually wake up. usually.
i haven't been posting anything recently because i have been dreaming somewhat ordinarily and mostly of people that i know which makes the context hard to relay.
i haven't been posting anything recently because i have been dreaming somewhat ordinarily and mostly of people that i know which makes the context hard to relay.
User
Sine up now!
User
You can't put a price on the rights of triangles.
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Indifference!
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A leopard.
A different leopard.
A spinning jenny.
A different leopard.
A spinning jenny.
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SRAW said:
It only has 2666 followers on google+ , how lame.
I didn't know there were 2666 people on Google+.
Swish.
Point: Enjay.
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It wandered away. I wish I could find a dagron or some fire imps or even a magma crab because that just seems like a more elegant way of getting rid of a snow beast.
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I do not expect this to last long:
Quote:
The Forgotten Beast Tharumi Melimenari Tharuminore Nethitha has come! An enormous quadruped composed of snow. It has an enormous shell and it squirms and fidgets.
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I believe you mentioned FUN?
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The point of the game is to figure out how to play the game.
There is no final boss. There is no ultimate goal, unless you count digging down as far as you can as a goal (and most likely, that will end your game). Eventually, some force, be it a siege, or a legendary monster with deadly abilities, or something lurking under ground, or your own hubris will kick in and everything will go to shit. Or a tantrum spiral resulting from your surviving that will make the rest of the dwarves miserable enough to kill each other. Or winter could come.
You can either try to stave off disaster for as long as you can or bring it upon yourself through absurdly complex machinations. But the game will end eventually and everything will be miserable.
There is no final boss. There is no ultimate goal, unless you count digging down as far as you can as a goal (and most likely, that will end your game). Eventually, some force, be it a siege, or a legendary monster with deadly abilities, or something lurking under ground, or your own hubris will kick in and everything will go to shit. Or a tantrum spiral resulting from your surviving that will make the rest of the dwarves miserable enough to kill each other. Or winter could come.
You can either try to stave off disaster for as long as you can or bring it upon yourself through absurdly complex machinations. But the game will end eventually and everything will be miserable.
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I'm reading up on the dwarf fortress wiki. It says there that the gremlins you can encounter in the caverns can be tamed and since they will do no job and likely end up socializing after being tamed, it is probable that you will end up with a gremlin mayor, who then grows up to be a gremlin hunter and hunts with your crew.
Games.
Games.
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That sounds like toxins and something that happens.
I still can't get over the time when I had a breeding pair of war leopards that walked through the toxin that made their little paws rot off. I suppose I never will.
I still can't get over the time when I had a breeding pair of war leopards that walked through the toxin that made their little paws rot off. I suppose I never will.
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Everything that happens in your fortress seems to be infinitely more hilarious than what happens in my fortresses.
Edit: Scratch that, it seems that in a recent siege one of my dwarves had an inadequately sharpened steel spear and when facing a master lasher, stabbed it in the head and twisted the spear around until the upper part of its spine was damaged. This happened four times before the skull was shattered.
I've been playing this game for over a year now and I even I sometimes struggle to comprehend how violent it is.
Also my legendary gemcutter, whom I recently made a swordsdwarf because he seemed like he'd be good at it, killed seven trolls in the last siege. On his own.
Edit: Scratch that, it seems that in a recent siege one of my dwarves had an inadequately sharpened steel spear and when facing a master lasher, stabbed it in the head and twisted the spear around until the upper part of its spine was damaged. This happened four times before the skull was shattered.
I've been playing this game for over a year now and I even I sometimes struggle to comprehend how violent it is.
Also my legendary gemcutter, whom I recently made a swordsdwarf because he seemed like he'd be good at it, killed seven trolls in the last siege. On his own.
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Other civilizations have diplomats?
RIP OFF
RIP OFF
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A general update into the affairs of Skintomb:
* There was an ambush, though not much to the ambush. In my experience an ambush consists of at least two squads of goblins, but this time there was only one and it consisted of four lashers and a swordsgoblin. It was over pretty quick, but I was disappointed because the lashers were carrying silver scourges whereas silver whips are where it's at. I have to continue to postpone training my lashers or pikedwarves due to lack of supplies. [You can't build those two weapons natively, only steal from corpses]
* Two new artifacts, or maybe three? Two dwarves flipped out and made wood earrings. Now I make them make bolts fast. I also got an artifact level left leather yak glove. Just the left glove. That means archer armor, I guess. And a high master armorer moved in so things are looking up there.
* Current military of legends: 6 axes, 6 spears, 5 hammers [HAMMER], 6 swords, 4 maces. The marksdwarves are all between five and ten and suck. One of the speardwarves is now described as "basically unbreakable", which I've never seen before. And good thing too, because she's susceptible to disease.
* I have native gold now, which means I have all the relevant ores and minerals to do as I fucking please. Incidentally, before I set off to do anything in the fortress I made a copy of it, mostly because it was called SkinTomb, so if ever anyone wants a fortress that seems to have every type of metal and a whole lot of cocaine, I could post it somewhere.
* There was an ambush, though not much to the ambush. In my experience an ambush consists of at least two squads of goblins, but this time there was only one and it consisted of four lashers and a swordsgoblin. It was over pretty quick, but I was disappointed because the lashers were carrying silver scourges whereas silver whips are where it's at. I have to continue to postpone training my lashers or pikedwarves due to lack of supplies. [You can't build those two weapons natively, only steal from corpses]
* Two new artifacts, or maybe three? Two dwarves flipped out and made wood earrings. Now I make them make bolts fast. I also got an artifact level left leather yak glove. Just the left glove. That means archer armor, I guess. And a high master armorer moved in so things are looking up there.
* Current military of legends: 6 axes, 6 spears, 5 hammers [HAMMER], 6 swords, 4 maces. The marksdwarves are all between five and ten and suck. One of the speardwarves is now described as "basically unbreakable", which I've never seen before. And good thing too, because she's susceptible to disease.
* I have native gold now, which means I have all the relevant ores and minerals to do as I fucking please. Incidentally, before I set off to do anything in the fortress I made a copy of it, mostly because it was called SkinTomb, so if ever anyone wants a fortress that seems to have every type of metal and a whole lot of cocaine, I could post it somewhere.
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Okay, I figured it out. So I was looking at my militia commander's relationships and saw that he was married to that profile I was looking at above. TURNS OUT, she's the marksdwarf that died in the siege early on in my tenure over this fortress and that you can still access profiles this way and they just read awkwardly.
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what
WHAT
WHAT
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The tunic itself is small, but it's woven from the silk coming from a giant cave spider. I had a similar mental hiccup reading it.
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This is typical dwarf fortress:
One axedwarf. One kobold. Casualties: nose, both upper arms, some teeth, a lung, Kobold.
Quote:
The Axedwarf charges at The Kobold Thief!
The Kobold Thief looks surprised by the ferocity fo The Axedwarf's onslaught!
The Axedwarf scratches The Kobold Thief in the nose and the severed part sails off in an arc!
The Axedwarf collides with The Kobold Thief!
The Kobold Thief is knocked over and tumbles backward!
The Axedwarf punches The Kobold Thief in the upper body with his left hand, bruising the muscle and tearing apart the middle spine's nervous tissue through the ({small giant cave spider silk tunic})!
The Kobold Thief loses hold of the ({large iron dagger}).
The Axedwarf hacks The Kobold Thief in the right upper arm with his *steel battle axe* and the severed part sails off in an arc!
The Axedwarf hacks The Kobold Thief in the upper body with his *steel battle axe*, tearing apart the muscle and tearing apart the left lung through the ({small giant cave spider silk tunic}).
An artery has been opened by the attack!
The Kobold Thief is having more trouble breathing!
The Axedwarf hacks The Kobold Thief in the left upper arm with his *steel battle axe* and the severed part sails off in an arc!
The Kobold Thief is no longer stunned.
The Axedwarf hacks The Kobold Thief in the lower left back teeth with his *steel battle axe* and the severed part sails off in an arc!
The Kobold Thief looks surprised by the ferocity fo The Axedwarf's onslaught!
The Axedwarf scratches The Kobold Thief in the nose and the severed part sails off in an arc!
The Axedwarf collides with The Kobold Thief!
The Kobold Thief is knocked over and tumbles backward!
The Axedwarf punches The Kobold Thief in the upper body with his left hand, bruising the muscle and tearing apart the middle spine's nervous tissue through the ({small giant cave spider silk tunic})!
The Kobold Thief loses hold of the ({large iron dagger}).
The Axedwarf hacks The Kobold Thief in the right upper arm with his *steel battle axe* and the severed part sails off in an arc!
The Axedwarf hacks The Kobold Thief in the upper body with his *steel battle axe*, tearing apart the muscle and tearing apart the left lung through the ({small giant cave spider silk tunic}).
An artery has been opened by the attack!
The Kobold Thief is having more trouble breathing!
The Axedwarf hacks The Kobold Thief in the left upper arm with his *steel battle axe* and the severed part sails off in an arc!
The Kobold Thief is no longer stunned.
The Axedwarf hacks The Kobold Thief in the lower left back teeth with his *steel battle axe* and the severed part sails off in an arc!
One axedwarf. One kobold. Casualties: nose, both upper arms, some teeth, a lung, Kobold.
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Firetrucks cannot be created or destroyed, only transferred.
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Black bronze processes postponed, I forgot that you need gold for that. GOD.
Today, I acquired a type of artifact which is new to me.
The cool thing about artifacts (unless the dwarf is possessed of course) is that they will give their maker legendary skills in whatever task they were working in, meaning high speeds and improved quality. While a lot of artifacts aren't directly practical, having a guy who can whip out masterful beds or furniture can come in handy for keeping dwarves happy. Likewise, I lucked out in getting a legendary weaponsmith because it means better multipliers on the attack. If I had a legendary armorsmith, it would mean multipliers on the deflect, ideally. Another weird thing is that you can end up with both non-native materials and non-native weapons, so that weaponsmith that's off his nut just made a yak bone blowgun instead of a steel hammer.
This is the artifact now in my possession:
It is Zizcunrungak, "The Reticent Skunk." Cassiterite, of course, is an ore that you smelt into tin. DWARVES,
I've never had a legendary mechanic before or anything of that sort, but I suppose it's practical as higher-grade mechanisms are more likely to hit and not jam. Also I could put my legendary silver spike in it and just have this trap that everyone admires. Prior to this, I had a perfect garnet as my artifact, so I'm now cutting gems at the highest levels.
This doesn't really go anywhere, but yeah, the Dwarves come from The Ancient Canyons. The Goblins are "The Hate of Shimmering" (gotta steal all those shiny things that they should not offend thee). The Humans are "The Complex Empire" (don't even try to understand it) and the Elves are "The Hardy Pack" and I hope they are in some inhospitable clime.
Today, I acquired a type of artifact which is new to me.
The cool thing about artifacts (unless the dwarf is possessed of course) is that they will give their maker legendary skills in whatever task they were working in, meaning high speeds and improved quality. While a lot of artifacts aren't directly practical, having a guy who can whip out masterful beds or furniture can come in handy for keeping dwarves happy. Likewise, I lucked out in getting a legendary weaponsmith because it means better multipliers on the attack. If I had a legendary armorsmith, it would mean multipliers on the deflect, ideally. Another weird thing is that you can end up with both non-native materials and non-native weapons, so that weaponsmith that's off his nut just made a yak bone blowgun instead of a steel hammer.
This is the artifact now in my possession:
Quote:
This is a Cassiterite mechanisms. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encrusted with oval Cassiterite cabochons, oval gneiss cabochons and briolette cut rubicelles and decorated with palm. This object is adorned with hanging rings of cassiterite and menaces with spikes of cave spider silk, puple spinel, and ilmenite.
On the item is an image of Rith Swordmiles the dwarf and dwarves in Cassiterite. Rith Swordmiles is surrounded by the dwarves. The artwork relates to the appointment of the dwarf Rith Swordmiles to the position of general of The Ancient Canyons in 1.
On the item is an image of wild strawberries in llama wool.
On the item is an image of Rith Swordmiles the dwarf and dwarves in Cassiterite. Rith Swordmiles is surrounded by the dwarves. The artwork relates to the appointment of the dwarf Rith Swordmiles to the position of general of The Ancient Canyons in 1.
On the item is an image of wild strawberries in llama wool.
It is Zizcunrungak, "The Reticent Skunk." Cassiterite, of course, is an ore that you smelt into tin. DWARVES,
I've never had a legendary mechanic before or anything of that sort, but I suppose it's practical as higher-grade mechanisms are more likely to hit and not jam. Also I could put my legendary silver spike in it and just have this trap that everyone admires. Prior to this, I had a perfect garnet as my artifact, so I'm now cutting gems at the highest levels.
This doesn't really go anywhere, but yeah, the Dwarves come from The Ancient Canyons. The Goblins are "The Hate of Shimmering" (gotta steal all those shiny things that they should not offend thee). The Humans are "The Complex Empire" (don't even try to understand it) and the Elves are "The Hardy Pack" and I hope they are in some inhospitable clime.
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Copper ores have been found. Proceeding to make black bronze everything for whatever fucking reason.
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The aftermath of this could be a little interesting: one of my dwarves has a broken leg, and no dwarves have any skill in bone setting.
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Turns out I can be sieged!
The Goblins sent an army of thirteen bowmens and one swordsmens. My particular encounter was less gorey and amusing than aaronjer's, but single targets tend to get more violence than multiple targets.
The goblins killed a dog upon arriving, maybe more than one dog, I'm not sure. The army itself right now is small-ish, I have two axes, three maces, two swords, two spears, and five marksdwarfs.
A few good things happened: One was that a couple of my marksdwarves apparently didn't realize that crossbows are not melee weapons (no I haven't been danger-rooming them). One ran up intending to smash a goblin with his crossbow and was stabbed and killed almost immediately. It was then that my army, which was positioned nearby, realized that the Goblins were there. Another marksdwarf was incessantly trying to beat goblins in the face with the crossbow and it almost never worked.
The other major good thing: a goblin bowman got his left foot, then his right foot, then his left arm, then his right arm all cut off by the same swordsdwarf in quick succession and the remainder of his life was spent with the dwarves alternating between trying to kick, stab, of bash the rest of his legs off.
The rest is standard dwarfiness. A speardwarf had a page and a half of fucking goblins up WHILE CARRYING HER INFANT CHILD. A macedwarf broke both arms of a goblin using only her shield. One of the militia captains did worse, killing a goblin using only the shield and the occasional kick or scratch with the finishing blow being jamming the shield through the skull because dwarves. An axedwarf punched through a goblin's head, twice. Another goblin was more or less punched to death. One had its head scratched open until it shattered which is what is this I don't even Etc. Etc.
The Goblins sent an army of thirteen bowmens and one swordsmens. My particular encounter was less gorey and amusing than aaronjer's, but single targets tend to get more violence than multiple targets.
The goblins killed a dog upon arriving, maybe more than one dog, I'm not sure. The army itself right now is small-ish, I have two axes, three maces, two swords, two spears, and five marksdwarfs.
A few good things happened: One was that a couple of my marksdwarves apparently didn't realize that crossbows are not melee weapons (no I haven't been danger-rooming them). One ran up intending to smash a goblin with his crossbow and was stabbed and killed almost immediately. It was then that my army, which was positioned nearby, realized that the Goblins were there. Another marksdwarf was incessantly trying to beat goblins in the face with the crossbow and it almost never worked.
The other major good thing: a goblin bowman got his left foot, then his right foot, then his left arm, then his right arm all cut off by the same swordsdwarf in quick succession and the remainder of his life was spent with the dwarves alternating between trying to kick, stab, of bash the rest of his legs off.
The rest is standard dwarfiness. A speardwarf had a page and a half of fucking goblins up WHILE CARRYING HER INFANT CHILD. A macedwarf broke both arms of a goblin using only her shield. One of the militia captains did worse, killing a goblin using only the shield and the occasional kick or scratch with the finishing blow being jamming the shield through the skull because dwarves. An axedwarf punched through a goblin's head, twice. Another goblin was more or less punched to death. One had its head scratched open until it shattered which is what is this I don't even Etc. Etc.
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I pretty much have no defenses built, not even rock or weapon traps though there are a few cage ones. It's been months since I played and it's kind of hard to remember everything you need to do sometimes and I didn't think it would be a big issue with how rarely I was getting attacked
By now I would have been attacked enough to at least load a few weapon traps.
I think that doing a minecart shotgun on this map would actually be a pretty awesome idea. I'd just need to figure out how to do it. My fortress is built into a little area where there are walls on the north, west, and south. The fortress is to the north and the approach is a narrow path to the east so I could theoretically carve out the western wall and install it there. As a bonus, I could load it up with lead items and go smashy smashy on the incoming army. I don't have sand that I've seen, so that makes it a little trickier to do glass serrated discs or something like that.
By now I would have been attacked enough to at least load a few weapon traps.
I think that doing a minecart shotgun on this map would actually be a pretty awesome idea. I'd just need to figure out how to do it. My fortress is built into a little area where there are walls on the north, west, and south. The fortress is to the north and the approach is a narrow path to the east so I could theoretically carve out the western wall and install it there. As a bonus, I could load it up with lead items and go smashy smashy on the incoming army. I don't have sand that I've seen, so that makes it a little trickier to do glass serrated discs or something like that.
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Haiku of my first conflict:
The only foe seen
under clouds, snows, rains, and fogs,
a werebuffalo.
Three years gone by now,
no enemies, only thieves.
Werebeast attacks us.
Kills a dog, a deer,
turns into dwarf in daylight,
runs nude, summer sun.
{For reasons unknown, I've only seen a few scattered kobold thieves and goblin thieves these past few years and while there have been many stretches during which a competent army could have COMPLETELY ANNIHILATED ME, I went without defenses, and without being attacked. I have had one fortress in the past in which I was only ever attacked by beasts and giants and whatnot, but we'll have to wait and see if that happens this time. I'm pretty sure that I didn't see goblin thieves that one time either}
The only foe seen
under clouds, snows, rains, and fogs,
a werebuffalo.
Three years gone by now,
no enemies, only thieves.
Werebeast attacks us.
Kills a dog, a deer,
turns into dwarf in daylight,
runs nude, summer sun.
{For reasons unknown, I've only seen a few scattered kobold thieves and goblin thieves these past few years and while there have been many stretches during which a competent army could have COMPLETELY ANNIHILATED ME, I went without defenses, and without being attacked. I have had one fortress in the past in which I was only ever attacked by beasts and giants and whatnot, but we'll have to wait and see if that happens this time. I'm pretty sure that I didn't see goblin thieves that one time either}
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I should mention that the Silver Spike is called "The Will of Fists" which is surprisingly un-dwarfy given that it's a weapon.
But now I have a second artifact, Masteredwears the Sling of Destruction? Guess what that is? Hint: Dwarf Fortress has no slings.
.....
It's a coffin made of yak bones!
But now I have a second artifact, Masteredwears the Sling of Destruction? Guess what that is? Hint: Dwarf Fortress has no slings.
.....
It's a coffin made of yak bones!
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Non sequiturs in dwarf profiles:
Super-stoked about the grudge, man.
{He actually just crafted the legendary silver spear, so that's why he's happy}
Quote:
Id Zuglarken has been ecstatic lately. He formed a grudge recently.
Super-stoked about the grudge, man.
{He actually just crafted the legendary silver spear, so that's why he's happy}
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Skintomb has a lot of potential. Like seriously.
So, ordinarily, one has various metals one can detect along the surface and you hope for certain combinations. If you have limonite or hematite or magnetite, you can forge iron things, and if you have flux stone in addition, you can make steel, which means competent army. Or you could end up with copper and have kind of a shitty army unless you also have tin in which case, bronze. Or you might end up with other metals to make brass, or billion, or the various pewters, or even black bronze, in which case you're probably more of an economic power and can trade for what you lack in steel.
I have limonite, hematite, and marble, so steel is going to be what my army runs on. This is a good enough start, but I also have cassiterite, galena, and sphalerite, which all translates to tin, zinc, lead and silver and the high potential for all kinds of crazy shit if I manage to get my hands on some copper ore or gold ore. I could be both a military and economic superpower and have everything in the whole world trying to wreck and/or join my shit.
My depot is also alarmingly dumb and I would post a picture of its access points but I can't seem to log-in to the subadar servers.
Edit: HOLY FUCK I ALSO HAVE BITUMINOUS COAL AND MY FIRST ARTIFACT IS A WEAPON MEANING MASTERPIECE WEAPONS FOR ALL
So, ordinarily, one has various metals one can detect along the surface and you hope for certain combinations. If you have limonite or hematite or magnetite, you can forge iron things, and if you have flux stone in addition, you can make steel, which means competent army. Or you could end up with copper and have kind of a shitty army unless you also have tin in which case, bronze. Or you might end up with other metals to make brass, or billion, or the various pewters, or even black bronze, in which case you're probably more of an economic power and can trade for what you lack in steel.
I have limonite, hematite, and marble, so steel is going to be what my army runs on. This is a good enough start, but I also have cassiterite, galena, and sphalerite, which all translates to tin, zinc, lead and silver and the high potential for all kinds of crazy shit if I manage to get my hands on some copper ore or gold ore. I could be both a military and economic superpower and have everything in the whole world trying to wreck and/or join my shit.
My depot is also alarmingly dumb and I would post a picture of its access points but I can't seem to log-in to the subadar servers.
Edit: HOLY FUCK I ALSO HAVE BITUMINOUS COAL AND MY FIRST ARTIFACT IS A WEAPON MEANING MASTERPIECE WEAPONS FOR ALL
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aaronjer said:
I too have an attention span!
BALDERDASH
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ATTN: A NEW FORTRESS HAS BEEN INITIATED
THE NAME OF THE FORTRESS IS "SKINTOMB"
FORTRESS IS EXPECTED TO LAST AS LONG AS MY ATTENTION SPAN DEEMS FIT
<3
THE NAME OF THE FORTRESS IS "SKINTOMB"
FORTRESS IS EXPECTED TO LAST AS LONG AS MY ATTENTION SPAN DEEMS FIT
<3
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Hitmonlee didn't have a tail!
And it's the cat version of all the pokemans. Kitty kitty.
And it's the cat version of all the pokemans. Kitty kitty.
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LET ME SHOW YOU MY POKEMONS
My Pokemons.
Let me show you them.
My Pokemons.
Let me show you them.
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I have done things that I should not do.
Adam connects. There is nothing to do here but weep in the glory of it.
I had three shots of this exact attack taking out an enemy that you wouldn't think of using it on. The first was Zamza, the second was Bear (DIRECT HIT ON THE NOGGIN) and the third was this, which was the only one I had time to get edited.
Also not pictured: Adam's Lament: Robot Edition
Adam connects. There is nothing to do here but weep in the glory of it.
I had three shots of this exact attack taking out an enemy that you wouldn't think of using it on. The first was Zamza, the second was Bear (DIRECT HIT ON THE NOGGIN) and the third was this, which was the only one I had time to get edited.
Also not pictured: Adam's Lament: Robot Edition
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When I watch .gifs that try to loop perfectly, I always scrutinize the hell out of them until I determine where the imperfection is and also give myself a headache.
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Bullet casing? Small-ish dildo? Cron dag?
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The face of a man who has realized that all of his life had been building to a moment which has now passed.
{I will have my own screens of rage to show eventually. I killed the Jet in Stage 2 (SOR2) with a pipe. It was glorious. In the same level, I re-discovered the joys of suplex-ing Galsias into explosive barrels}
{I will have my own screens of rage to show eventually. I killed the Jet in Stage 2 (SOR2) with a pipe. It was glorious. In the same level, I re-discovered the joys of suplex-ing Galsias into explosive barrels}
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But why should we fuck off if you're the one that's terrible? I don't understand
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MARU
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this .gif is an important .gif
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One of the guys from Handsome Boy Modeling School wrote a song about a kitty a long time ago but I guess I only found out about it recently.
Sick vid
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I keep getting this damned track stuck in my head which is strange in that it isn't that long and I find myself grinding in that particular area of the game only so much as I ever feel the need to grind [there is not a difficult boss in the region]
Sick vid
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What I'm liking so far about him is that forward forward b has stupid priority. Anything that wants to attack you while you're doing that is SOL. But the combo break with the uppercut is also a nice touch and if you can get any accuracy, he just plows through enemies with the bat. The knife's pretty good too. I'm less hot on his starred combos, but I'm still getting used to them. The trouble is that the dash punch one has just nothing to offer against air attacks, which means you're more boned against kung fu guys.
Anyway, I haven't had this much fun playing a game in a long time. I've squeeeed a few times now.
Anyway, I haven't had this much fun playing a game in a long time. I've squeeeed a few times now.
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Yeah, I'm going the route of unlocking with points. I decided to go through the old SOR1 route using Adam, who was my primary character way back when. I'm surprised at how playable they've made him though his style (limited speed, hard hits) isn't what I'm accustomed to so I can't do really well with it. Speed characters have always been a lot easier for me to handle.
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What do you think I was doing as I was posting that?1?
(No, seriously, I was.)
They've got the game-feel pretty close to spot-on, but goddamnit, why is BK3 Skate the default? He's terrible! I may have to play as someone else until I unlock BK2 Skate.
(No, seriously, I was.)
They've got the game-feel pretty close to spot-on, but goddamnit, why is BK3 Skate the default? He's terrible! I may have to play as someone else until I unlock BK2 Skate.
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This post has existed for a couple of days without aaronjer or I mentioning Streets of Rage 2. I am ashamed for all parties involved but not nearly ashamed enough.
Sick vid
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aaronjer said:
NatureJay said:
Magma is one possible solution to the problem of bronze colossi, but really what I wanted to do, for no reason other than to see what happened, was to send a horde of legendary warriors after it just to see what the results would be. I didn't expect that they'd tear its shit apart; I heard that the best way of going after them was crossbows and lashers and I only had maybe three high-level crossbowdwarfs and two legendary lashers. Everything else was done with fist, spear, submachinegun.
Fixed
We be a handful.
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Magma is one possible solution to the problem of bronze colossi, but really what I wanted to do, for no reason other than to see what happened, was to send a horde of legendary warriors after it just to see what the results would be. I didn't expect that they'd tear its shit apart; I heard that the best way of going after them was crossbows and lashers and I only had maybe three high-level crossbowdwarfs and two legendary lashers. Everything else was done with swords, spears, axes, maces, and hammers.
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HoMM3 had some fine music. I always liked the Rampart's track, but it was always one of my least favorites to play, or fight against. Fucking dwarves and dendroid soldiers being too slow and then everything else being resistant to magic. In fact, I think I'd rather play any other civilization than play Rampart.
The only thing I can think of off the top of my head is the Floating Continent theme in FFIII/VI and various Castlevania or Mega Man tunes. Hm.
The only thing I can think of off the top of my head is the Floating Continent theme in FFIII/VI and various Castlevania or Mega Man tunes. Hm.
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A Bronze Colossus attacked me! I sent all my legendary warriors against it.
Over the course of the fighting, it lost its right foot, its left upper arm, its right upper arm, its left foot, its right lower leg, and finally its head (the result of a speardwarf stabbing it). Then it was transformed into a statue of Irene Gloriesscaly. That's actually the name of an elf of some sort but I'd like to believe that it arbitrarily became a statue of an actual person.
The combat log goes to twenty-one pages. The first thing that happened was a swordsdwarf stabbing it in the foot hard enough to fracture it and make it tip over. The last thing was the spear militia captain knocking its head off. Twenty-one attempts at attacking my dwarves were made. None connected.
The full name of the bronze colossus was Mothdast Dentbit the Renowned Volcano.
Over the course of the fighting, it lost its right foot, its left upper arm, its right upper arm, its left foot, its right lower leg, and finally its head (the result of a speardwarf stabbing it). Then it was transformed into a statue of Irene Gloriesscaly. That's actually the name of an elf of some sort but I'd like to believe that it arbitrarily became a statue of an actual person.
The combat log goes to twenty-one pages. The first thing that happened was a swordsdwarf stabbing it in the foot hard enough to fracture it and make it tip over. The last thing was the spear militia captain knocking its head off. Twenty-one attempts at attacking my dwarves were made. None connected.
The full name of the bronze colossus was Mothdast Dentbit the Renowned Volcano.
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I don't know, I mean, it might be feasible, it's just like, is it worth the effort? You could set up a thresher system of many, many rows of atom smashers hooked up, alternating, to two different switches. If the halls were sufficiently wide to encourage something other than straight movement and they were long enough to get some slip-ups, I could see it working if you could sync them right. Not that I've ever tooled around with the atom smashers much.
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I hear that there are certain ways around it. For example, you don't embark with animals of any kind and never fish or hunt because to do either of those things would generate material for the necromancers (rumors persist of undead mussel shells). Basically, the dwarves have to be vegan in both their diet and their industry. This is probably impossible given that stupid dwarves are always dragging their stupid pets into things, but I suppose you could try to keep those under some form of lockdown. Also traps everywhere, don't expect to trade much, and you need ways of completely shutting the fortress down and praying that there's a means of adequately dispensing with everything that's at the walls once you do, which means you can't really have a military either I guess. Since individual parts can come back to life, it seems rather labor-intensive, so I've no intention of trying it.
I guess the whole thing also assumes that you aren't attacked by or are killing kobolds and goblins which, okay, good luck with that.
I guess the whole thing also assumes that you aren't attacked by or are killing kobolds and goblins which, okay, good luck with that.
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It really doesn't take much. I'm up to eight years in the current fortress, but there was a time or two when I quit the game via task manager lest it save when I was in the midst of a pretty bloody siege. If you get attacked by lashers early on, you're dead. Any badly timed siege before you have an adequate military will kill you, but lashers especially. If you get attacked by a titan that can web you, you're dead (barring some amazing archery skills). If you get attacked by something that is especially toxic, you'll be cleaning that up for a long time if you aren't already dead. Open up the caverns too early with forgotten beasts or otherwise ornery wildlife, and you're dead. Hell, if you're in an area with giant eagles or other such wildlife they'll probably kill you before you have a chance to do a goddamned thing. I haven't even seen a colossus, a necromancer, an undead sponge, a dragon, or a demon and I know I'd be really dead if I saw any one of those.
The trouble with the game is that there isn't really a point to it. Because there's only so much you can do at any given time, you inevitably create more danger for yourself either by way of traps or sending your army to explore places that are likely to fuck their shit up or leave you not so well defended.
There is no endgame, just survival for a period of time until something attacks and destroys everything.
The trouble with the game is that there isn't really a point to it. Because there's only so much you can do at any given time, you inevitably create more danger for yourself either by way of traps or sending your army to explore places that are likely to fuck their shit up or leave you not so well defended.
There is no endgame, just survival for a period of time until something attacks and destroys everything.
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That stupid shit where the caravan can't get out of the depot started happening again.
I figured that maybe I wasn't giving them enough time to get out and had just gotten impatient and deconstructed things too soon. It turns out I was partially true. If I leave the caravan alone for long enough, the liaison will die. In this case, he died of thirst. And then he came back as a ghost. He didn't do anything as a ghost, but I built a memorial anyway and now there are no more ghosts. I don't know if things are supposed to work that way, but I imagine that other civilizations might later become mad at me if their liaisons continue to come back as ghosts.
On the plus side, I have a breeding pair of cougars. God I wish I could war train them.
I figured that maybe I wasn't giving them enough time to get out and had just gotten impatient and deconstructed things too soon. It turns out I was partially true. If I leave the caravan alone for long enough, the liaison will die. In this case, he died of thirst. And then he came back as a ghost. He didn't do anything as a ghost, but I built a memorial anyway and now there are no more ghosts. I don't know if things are supposed to work that way, but I imagine that other civilizations might later become mad at me if their liaisons continue to come back as ghosts.
On the plus side, I have a breeding pair of cougars. God I wish I could war train them.
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It could have slid over some feathers and picked them up. You don't know that!
I've also discovered that, once you become reasonably proficient at repelling sieges, they will come once per season. With about 100 goblins and trolls all aspiring to wreck your shit. Against whatever population you have, which might be less than the siege itself.
Dwarf Fortress: no one wins.
I've also discovered that, once you become reasonably proficient at repelling sieges, they will come once per season. With about 100 goblins and trolls all aspiring to wreck your shit. Against whatever population you have, which might be less than the siege itself.
Dwarf Fortress: no one wins.
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Quote:
The Forgotten Beast Zecalo has come! A great feathered slug. It has wings and it is slavering. Its dark green feathers are long and sparse. Beware its noxious secretions!
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Does it spray seltzer?
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zachjer i wanted to read that so badly as you have just spent your nest egg on making that Harlem Shake video
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this is for you <3 <3 <3
Sick vid
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RANDOMIZE THE POSITION OF ALL BUTTONS ON EACH PAGE LOAD! EVERYONE MUST SUFFER!
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I don't understand how all of you are completely fucking retarded but I propose that all buttons from here on out link to the superjer.com homepage and that there is no way to access the forum other than having the address already loaded.
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Sick vid
He can swim! Don't take him on a boat ride, you'll only confuse him!
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Haven't hit lava yet, and yeah, I know there's not really much need to trade at this point. The game seems broken in that way, though I hear that there used to be some kind of magic economy within the game that would give some purpose to cutting all these gems and embellishing all these things aside from trying to make dwarves happy in some way. Pretty much the only thing that I care about at this point is the possibility of the elven caravan showing up with bears or something (black bears for meat, since you can't train them?, grizzlies for war).
Were the depot in any way functional, I'd use it just to toss all the spent clothes or items I can't otherwise make any use of.
What I should do is send a scouting party down into the caverns in search of this thing...
But generally, I kind of feel bored after establishing my fortress and getting it to the point where I can defend without too many losses. It feels like there's less to actually do given that all you're going to encounter are possibly more enemies and maybe a few new resources (adamantine) or means of using those resources (magma smelters). The gameplay doesn't actually change all that much, you just find new ways of getting fucked over because hey your army was all the way down there and here are some more goblins. It feels empty in the same way late games of Civ feel empty. I suppose I could design some deathtrap or crap like that, my heart's not in it.
Were the depot in any way functional, I'd use it just to toss all the spent clothes or items I can't otherwise make any use of.
What I should do is send a scouting party down into the caverns in search of this thing...
Quote:
The Forgotten Beast Pimut has come! A gigantic humanoid composed of grime and filth. It has a short tail and it undulates rhythmically. Beware its poisonous sting!
But generally, I kind of feel bored after establishing my fortress and getting it to the point where I can defend without too many losses. It feels like there's less to actually do given that all you're going to encounter are possibly more enemies and maybe a few new resources (adamantine) or means of using those resources (magma smelters). The gameplay doesn't actually change all that much, you just find new ways of getting fucked over because hey your army was all the way down there and here are some more goblins. It feels empty in the same way late games of Civ feel empty. I suppose I could design some deathtrap or crap like that, my heart's not in it.
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Down Rodeo said:
I'd simultaneously love and hate to see the code for this game.
It's primarily done by one guy, so I'd imagine it's quirky and weirdly inefficient in many places.
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My fortress is broken:
Every time a caravan arrives, it forgets how to reload when it supposedly departs. So the game tells me no merchants are trading, and the caravan just sits there, in the depot. Months pass.
In order to get the caravan out of the depot, I have to deconstruct it. Each time I deconstruct the depot, whatever items are flashing on screen at the time within the depot are ejected. My dwarves collect the items, which in turn overflow my stockpile. Then the food that they haven't collected yet inevitably rots, filling the once-depot with miasma.
Every few months, this is my fortress.
Every time a caravan arrives, it forgets how to reload when it supposedly departs. So the game tells me no merchants are trading, and the caravan just sits there, in the depot. Months pass.
In order to get the caravan out of the depot, I have to deconstruct it. Each time I deconstruct the depot, whatever items are flashing on screen at the time within the depot are ejected. My dwarves collect the items, which in turn overflow my stockpile. Then the food that they haven't collected yet inevitably rots, filling the once-depot with miasma.
Every few months, this is my fortress.
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An incomplete list of things contained in dwarf fortress:
1. Werecamels.
I was fighting one. I didn't get bit or anything but at least two of my dwarves decided to bite the werecamel because they're bitey I guess. I hope this doesn't lead to trouble later
1. Werecamels.
I was fighting one. I didn't get bit or anything but at least two of my dwarves decided to bite the werecamel because they're bitey I guess. I hope this doesn't lead to trouble later
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aaronjer said:
I drive a GMC Sonoma, and my favorite mod I've done is fill the extended cab with food wrappers.
After filling the extended cab with food wrappers, did you also fill it with Crytax after filling the front seat with JMD because if not I don't know I think you might have to try again
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Losing a foot and a hand didn't turn out all that bad for him; the most recent artifact (a water buffalo bone scepter) contains an image of him admiring wolverine men.
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The latestest [the extra -est is for emphasis] pitted the same army of mine plus one good marksdwarf against 100+ strong of the goblin army, a combination of axemen, lashers, jabberers, elk birds, olms, etc.
Casualties:
4x fisherdwarves (stranded in one corner of the map)
1x metalcrafter (whatever)
1x child (pffft)
assorted rabbits and dogs including two hunting dogs
Death Tolls:
1x Pikemaster
1x Axe Lord
10x Lashers
12x Axemen
11x Giant Olms
6x War Jabberers
7x Elk Birds
I can deal with that. I'll be adding to my axe and sword lords soon.
Also one of my speardwarves lost a hand and a foot so he's probably back to being an ordinary citizen now.
Casualties:
4x fisherdwarves (stranded in one corner of the map)
1x metalcrafter (whatever)
1x child (pffft)
assorted rabbits and dogs including two hunting dogs
Death Tolls:
1x Pikemaster
1x Axe Lord
10x Lashers
12x Axemen
11x Giant Olms
6x War Jabberers
7x Elk Birds
I can deal with that. I'll be adding to my axe and sword lords soon.
Also one of my speardwarves lost a hand and a foot so he's probably back to being an ordinary citizen now.
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Outcast said:
You can call me Harris.
I can call you Betty and Betty when you call me, you can call me Al.
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Great googly moogly are danger rooms broken.
So, after enduring a few ambushes in which it was generally a bad time to be a macedwarf, I finally got a 5x5 danger room set up and trained the melee portion of my army up to legendary in weapon skill, fighting, and shield use (which is to say, no patience for dodging or armor use). At present, I have five hammerlords, six macelords, five axe lords, five spearlords, and three swordlords (along with nine marksdwarves of mostly middling ability).
So granted, that's twenty-four legendary squad members off the bat, along with the nine marksdwarves. In the winter of my fourth year in game, the goblins decided to take the gloves off and send a siege of sixteen melee fighters (mostly maces) and a giant olm they were using for war purposes. Rather, they were trying to take the gloves off, but could not remove the gloves, because I had already taken their hands off. Body parts everywhere. The overall skirmish lasted maybe fifteen seconds of game time. My team came out completely unscathed and basically I never have to make clothes because I'm garbing everyone in the robes of the fallen enemies.
So, after enduring a few ambushes in which it was generally a bad time to be a macedwarf, I finally got a 5x5 danger room set up and trained the melee portion of my army up to legendary in weapon skill, fighting, and shield use (which is to say, no patience for dodging or armor use). At present, I have five hammerlords, six macelords, five axe lords, five spearlords, and three swordlords (along with nine marksdwarves of mostly middling ability).
So granted, that's twenty-four legendary squad members off the bat, along with the nine marksdwarves. In the winter of my fourth year in game, the goblins decided to take the gloves off and send a siege of sixteen melee fighters (mostly maces) and a giant olm they were using for war purposes. Rather, they were trying to take the gloves off, but could not remove the gloves, because I had already taken their hands off. Body parts everywhere. The overall skirmish lasted maybe fifteen seconds of game time. My team came out completely unscathed and basically I never have to make clothes because I'm garbing everyone in the robes of the fallen enemies.
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SRAW said:
Why would you note you aren't interested anymore anyways...
Low replay value? Changing taste in games or time devoted to games? No homo?
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aaronjer said:
I'm guessing he died as the dwarf must have chewed through his head to get there.
On the contrary, he lived to regret it, although he didn't live too long or accumulate too much regret. As I remember, the teeth-biting incident was roughly on page two-and-a-quarter of three-and-a-quarter pages.
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Quote:
The militia captain bites The Goblin Crossbowman in the lower right back teeth from behind and the severed part sails off in an arc.
Gentlemen, one of my dwarves bit the teeth off of some poor goblin, FROM BEHIND.
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fedex _ said:
aaronjer said:
SJ now longer has a physical form, he can't.
now longer ? or no longer
More longer friend see that sky?
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SuperJer said:
And banned users can post here. FOR EMERGENCY USE ONLY!
I highly approve of the name change.
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He's probably playing Skyrim again
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I refuse to believe that or anything else ever again.
<3
<3
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This was something that I've known for a while but only recently figured out the name of the song because I'm lazy or something.
Remember: if you don't like Melt-Banana, that's okay! It is not about liking Melt-Banana. It is about punishing those around you who permit you to live in a world in which you are allowed to listen to Melt-Banana.
Remember: if you don't like Melt-Banana, that's okay! It is not about liking Melt-Banana. It is about punishing those around you who permit you to live in a world in which you are allowed to listen to Melt-Banana.
Sick vid
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Dwarven naming conventions:
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It becomes statelier.
I designed a mist generator and did it right this time. Mist spraying all over the damned place. Needed two windmills to fully power the thing, but everything looks good for now. My problem before was the obvious one that I suspected I had: I forgot to change the orientation on the axles coming off the gear assembly
I designed a mist generator and did it right this time. Mist spraying all over the damned place. Needed two windmills to fully power the thing, but everything looks good for now. My problem before was the obvious one that I suspected I had: I forgot to change the orientation on the axles coming off the gear assembly
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I should also mention that the werelizard ape only had the first name of Ape and was actually a female human. Everything I said still holds.
Ten seconds after appearing on the map, she reverted to human form, and then several markswarves shot her up and cudgeled her with their crossbows. The only casualty was a horse that got bit.
Ten seconds after appearing on the map, she reverted to human form, and then several markswarves shot her up and cudgeled her with their crossbows. The only casualty was a horse that got bit.
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Was attacked by something advertising itself as a Werelizard Ape. So, no moon, full-on monkey business. Moon goes up, and fur turns into scales, mammaries vanish, the uterus turns into some sort of horrid egg-laying mechanism, and its blood runs cold.
It's a remarkable time to be alive.
It's a remarkable time to be alive.
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So, while dicking around I came across a rather amazing start location:
* Limestone. Everywhere. The first seven z-levels below the surface are filled with limestone. I'm a fucking limestone cowboy all up ins.
* In addition to the limestone (FLUX YAY), I have hematite. A fairly abundant supply of hematite. That means I'm seeing no reason not to have steel equipment for everyone.
* If you didn't already get the impression that Armok was commanding me to make as much steel as possible, there's also lignite strewn through the walls, which I've never seen, anywhere.
* Various forms of sand throughout are going to make farming pretty easy.
* The dwarves call it "Winehame". "Hame" is a Scottish variant on "home", but I like to think of it as a more dignified version of "ham".
* Limestone. Everywhere. The first seven z-levels below the surface are filled with limestone. I'm a fucking limestone cowboy all up ins.
* In addition to the limestone (FLUX YAY), I have hematite. A fairly abundant supply of hematite. That means I'm seeing no reason not to have steel equipment for everyone.
* If you didn't already get the impression that Armok was commanding me to make as much steel as possible, there's also lignite strewn through the walls, which I've never seen, anywhere.
* Various forms of sand throughout are going to make farming pretty easy.
* The dwarves call it "Winehame". "Hame" is a Scottish variant on "home", but I like to think of it as a more dignified version of "ham".
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No, but I did try to start a new world and ended up with a primo start location smack dab in the middle of The Jungle of Glaciers.
Now I started a new world! Now there's The Glacier of Chills (the chills are because the surroundings are haunted, it has nothing to do with temperature)
Now I started a new world! Now there's The Glacier of Chills (the chills are because the surroundings are haunted, it has nothing to do with temperature)
User
Months and months and months have passed and I've gotten a non-marksdwarf army component, built a hospital and used it a few times, and have a well area nearly ready to flood. I've also revved up a mister a few times only to see it flail and fall short of completing a cycle. I'm too tired to debug it and try to figure out what the fuck engineering-wise, but here's a recap of a few season's time, or further adventures in preposterous bullshit:
New artifact, made by one of my threshers (otherwise useless):
Ostarkalal Togaldastot, "Burialmelt the Stormy Sword", a granite scepter (probably because he took over a workshop that was making stone crafts):
This is a granite scepter. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encircled with bands of rectangular granite cabochons. This object is adorned with hanging rings of kakapo bone. On the item is an image of Morul Tomblarge the dwarf in kunzite [note: that dwarf? Not in my fortress].
On the item is an image of Burialmelt the Stormy Sword the granite scepter in kiwi leather.
Ladies and gents, my first recursive artifact.
I killed a trio of goblin thieves. One was a master thief. I did not know that master thieves existed! He didn't last very long. His first move was to stab the Fisherdwarf who noticed him in the head. The fisherdwarf was a crossbowdwarf, and as the thief tried to beat his retreat, the dwarf shot the dagger out of his hand, then shot him in the stomach, spleen, and then both legs. After the second hit, he went unconscious, and woke up just in time for a swordsdwarf to bash him with the handle, then slash at his head. Didn't leave much more than a scratch, but it pissed off the thief right proper and the thief lunged, missed, and was stabbed through the skull. Short day. Later on another goblin thief appeared. The Mayor punched the thief's skull through his brain. That was how the goblin died. You do not fuck with The Mayor. The Mayor, from what I can tell, is also a plant as his profile informs me that "When possible, he prefers to consume sunshine."
In order to power my water pump, I've been trying to clear out an area to build a windmill. In order for anything to be affected by "wind", it needs to be open air, which means I carve out the level it needs to be on and, if that level is covered, I channel out the top. About five times now, a dwarf has climbed on top of the channel portion, stood on a single square, channeled out every square around him, caused a partial tunnel collapse, knocked himself unconscious, then got up again and resumed doing the exact same thing. DWARVES. One of them eventually died from this. It was probably because he was an inexperienced miner. Another time a few levels collapsed and it ended up killing a woodworker and his pet pig, both of whom were below. I guess they were inexperienced too. So far all of my casualties have been from negligence on my part. I am awesome.
Another farmer flipped out and started doing things with Stone. I only get stonecraft artifacts.
Onsheniddor Sebir Igath, "Chantedlark the Hide of Scraping", a slate scepter:
This is a slate scepter. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. On the item is an image of Edem Orbauthor the dwarve and dwarves in slate. Edem Orbauthor is surrounded by the dwarves. The artwork relates to the ascension of the dwarf Edem Orbauthor to the position of king of The Spread Syrups in 1.
On the item is an image of a tower-cap in alder.
I couldn't get an image of a tower-cap in tower-cap because I haven't gotten into the caverns yet.
Spring came and my main carpenter flipped out and created the most ornate goods bin yet seen by dwarfkind.
Abiremal Vozbel Kirar, "Romancesense the Ravager of Rights", a alder bin <#3>:
This is a alder bin <#3>. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encrusted with oval gabbro cabochons decorated with alder and circled with bands of alder, oak, and oval cut rubicelles. This object menaces with spikes of gabbro. On the item is an image of a giant kea in steel. On the item is an image of a alder in kakapo leather.
'kay.
New artifact, made by one of my threshers (otherwise useless):
Ostarkalal Togaldastot, "Burialmelt the Stormy Sword", a granite scepter (probably because he took over a workshop that was making stone crafts):
This is a granite scepter. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encircled with bands of rectangular granite cabochons. This object is adorned with hanging rings of kakapo bone. On the item is an image of Morul Tomblarge the dwarf in kunzite [note: that dwarf? Not in my fortress].
On the item is an image of Burialmelt the Stormy Sword the granite scepter in kiwi leather.
Ladies and gents, my first recursive artifact.
I killed a trio of goblin thieves. One was a master thief. I did not know that master thieves existed! He didn't last very long. His first move was to stab the Fisherdwarf who noticed him in the head. The fisherdwarf was a crossbowdwarf, and as the thief tried to beat his retreat, the dwarf shot the dagger out of his hand, then shot him in the stomach, spleen, and then both legs. After the second hit, he went unconscious, and woke up just in time for a swordsdwarf to bash him with the handle, then slash at his head. Didn't leave much more than a scratch, but it pissed off the thief right proper and the thief lunged, missed, and was stabbed through the skull. Short day. Later on another goblin thief appeared. The Mayor punched the thief's skull through his brain. That was how the goblin died. You do not fuck with The Mayor. The Mayor, from what I can tell, is also a plant as his profile informs me that "When possible, he prefers to consume sunshine."
In order to power my water pump, I've been trying to clear out an area to build a windmill. In order for anything to be affected by "wind", it needs to be open air, which means I carve out the level it needs to be on and, if that level is covered, I channel out the top. About five times now, a dwarf has climbed on top of the channel portion, stood on a single square, channeled out every square around him, caused a partial tunnel collapse, knocked himself unconscious, then got up again and resumed doing the exact same thing. DWARVES. One of them eventually died from this. It was probably because he was an inexperienced miner. Another time a few levels collapsed and it ended up killing a woodworker and his pet pig, both of whom were below. I guess they were inexperienced too. So far all of my casualties have been from negligence on my part. I am awesome.
Another farmer flipped out and started doing things with Stone. I only get stonecraft artifacts.
Onsheniddor Sebir Igath, "Chantedlark the Hide of Scraping", a slate scepter:
This is a slate scepter. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. On the item is an image of Edem Orbauthor the dwarve and dwarves in slate. Edem Orbauthor is surrounded by the dwarves. The artwork relates to the ascension of the dwarf Edem Orbauthor to the position of king of The Spread Syrups in 1.
On the item is an image of a tower-cap in alder.
I couldn't get an image of a tower-cap in tower-cap because I haven't gotten into the caverns yet.
Spring came and my main carpenter flipped out and created the most ornate goods bin yet seen by dwarfkind.
Abiremal Vozbel Kirar, "Romancesense the Ravager of Rights", a alder bin <#3>:
This is a alder bin <#3>. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encrusted with oval gabbro cabochons decorated with alder and circled with bands of alder, oak, and oval cut rubicelles. This object menaces with spikes of gabbro. On the item is an image of a giant kea in steel. On the item is an image of a alder in kakapo leather.
'kay.
User
I don't know. I think i meant it to mean that those were the things I wanted to do next? Oh god, Dwarf Fortress is soooo confusing.
I should also probably get a mist generator up near the entrance, just to make everyone happy. And a smallish moat type thing to get the ichor off, bearing in mind that I have no idea how dangerous the first attack on my fortress will be.
I should also probably get a mist generator up near the entrance, just to make everyone happy. And a smallish moat type thing to get the ichor off, bearing in mind that I have no idea how dangerous the first attack on my fortress will be.
User
Winter 22, Summer 23
These are conflated because a lot of things seemed to be happening at once towards the end of winter. So I was getting my shit together, no problem, when one of my dwarven children freaks the fuck out and takes over a craft workshop while ceaselessly drawing pictures of skeletons. Normal behavior, I suspect. Well, I don't have any bones and no one knows how to hunt. Panic sets in, I build my bowyer's shop and then realize, "oh wait, I have livestock. I could slaughter the livestock." And what is the result of small child becoming obsessed with bones?
Ikudlegan, "Reignedmirthful", a giant horse bone axe blade
This is a giant horse bone axe blade. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encircled with bands of horse bone.
No shit?
Around this time, a wave of immigrants invades and I need to start building shit again. Among notables:
1x Talented (lvl 6) woodworker
1x High Master (lvl 13) bowyer
1x High Master (lvl 13) fish cleaner (the fish are so clean you could eat off them)
1x Accomplished (lvl 10) herbalist
1x Accomplished (lvl 10) metalcrafter
1x Talented (lvl 6) fighter/dodger/armor user/ kicker
Things remain calm. I've been invaded by one kobold thief and three goblin snatchers, which I imagine I'll be seeing more of. One of the snatchers, I killed. Free clothes, bitches.
Let's take a look at the shit I now have in a more passing order.
There's my stockpile and farms. Could probably make a second farm, haven't yet. The blue thing in the south is my depot. Filled with hippies.
Workshops. Still clearing stones away I think.
Ever increasing bedrooms.
I've also got a tannery, a leather workshop, and two butcher's workshops up and running.
I bought a jaguar from the hippies. And some wine. And two bins of cloth. It's going to be a hot time in the old town tonight!
It was mostly about the jaguar. Need a mate for him, so that I can send out all of my hunters with jaguar accompaniment. Stylish and threatening.
Impending goals:
* Get the non-marksdwarf part of the army active
* Hospital below the bedrooms
* Well adjacent to the hospital.
These are conflated because a lot of things seemed to be happening at once towards the end of winter. So I was getting my shit together, no problem, when one of my dwarven children freaks the fuck out and takes over a craft workshop while ceaselessly drawing pictures of skeletons. Normal behavior, I suspect. Well, I don't have any bones and no one knows how to hunt. Panic sets in, I build my bowyer's shop and then realize, "oh wait, I have livestock. I could slaughter the livestock." And what is the result of small child becoming obsessed with bones?
Ikudlegan, "Reignedmirthful", a giant horse bone axe blade
This is a giant horse bone axe blade. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encircled with bands of horse bone.
No shit?
Around this time, a wave of immigrants invades and I need to start building shit again. Among notables:
1x Talented (lvl 6) woodworker
1x High Master (lvl 13) bowyer
1x High Master (lvl 13) fish cleaner (the fish are so clean you could eat off them)
1x Accomplished (lvl 10) herbalist
1x Accomplished (lvl 10) metalcrafter
1x Talented (lvl 6) fighter/dodger/armor user/ kicker
Things remain calm. I've been invaded by one kobold thief and three goblin snatchers, which I imagine I'll be seeing more of. One of the snatchers, I killed. Free clothes, bitches.
Let's take a look at the shit I now have in a more passing order.
There's my stockpile and farms. Could probably make a second farm, haven't yet. The blue thing in the south is my depot. Filled with hippies.
Workshops. Still clearing stones away I think.
Ever increasing bedrooms.
I've also got a tannery, a leather workshop, and two butcher's workshops up and running.
I bought a jaguar from the hippies. And some wine. And two bins of cloth. It's going to be a hot time in the old town tonight!
It was mostly about the jaguar. Need a mate for him, so that I can send out all of my hunters with jaguar accompaniment. Stylish and threatening.
Impending goals:
* Get the non-marksdwarf part of the army active
* Hospital below the bedrooms
* Well adjacent to the hospital.
User
Fall, 21
Second Migrant Wave:
3x farmer
2x child
1x fisher
1x stonecrafter
1x weaponsmith (w/ sword skills)
1x donkey foal
1x poult
1x kitten
Shortly after his arrival, one of my new farmers lost his shit and took over a craftsdwarf workshop. This was fun because I knew that if he wanted any of the clothier's workshops, he would go insane because those aren't active yet. But ah, he wanted stone and metal bars. I didn't have smelters yet. So I rushed to build some and forged a bronze bar. The result was my first artifact and a legendary stonecrafter.
Sarekzagod Stibmer Togum, "Echogripped the Shores of Verse", a gabbro bracelet.
This is a gabbro bracelet. All crafsdwarfship is of the highest quality. This object menaces with spikes of gabbro. On the item is an image of The Riddled Renown the shale slab in bronze.
So apparently there's an artifact-level shale slab out there somewhere.
Forgot to build a depot. Yep. I'm an idiot. That will definitely hamstring me for a while, but it also gives me a chance to throw some more goods together.
At present, my dwarves have a primary form of entertainment. That form of entertainment is watching vermin get caught in the waterfall and then crash into the river below, dead. Bless their little hearts.
Second Migrant Wave:
3x farmer
2x child
1x fisher
1x stonecrafter
1x weaponsmith (w/ sword skills)
1x donkey foal
1x poult
1x kitten
Shortly after his arrival, one of my new farmers lost his shit and took over a craftsdwarf workshop. This was fun because I knew that if he wanted any of the clothier's workshops, he would go insane because those aren't active yet. But ah, he wanted stone and metal bars. I didn't have smelters yet. So I rushed to build some and forged a bronze bar. The result was my first artifact and a legendary stonecrafter.
Sarekzagod Stibmer Togum, "Echogripped the Shores of Verse", a gabbro bracelet.
This is a gabbro bracelet. All crafsdwarfship is of the highest quality. This object menaces with spikes of gabbro. On the item is an image of The Riddled Renown the shale slab in bronze.
So apparently there's an artifact-level shale slab out there somewhere.
Forgot to build a depot. Yep. I'm an idiot. That will definitely hamstring me for a while, but it also gives me a chance to throw some more goods together.
At present, my dwarves have a primary form of entertainment. That form of entertainment is watching vermin get caught in the waterfall and then crash into the river below, dead. Bless their little hearts.
User
Autumn, 21
Seasons go by pretty damned quickly when you aren't having to pause or be interrupted for any reason.
There are no pictures for this update because not a great deal has happened, or at least not enough to be worthy of documentation.
Synopsis:
First Migrant wave:
No military skills or social skills. Nothing so much as a hunter.
1 x fishery workers
1 x Crossbowmaker
2 x farmers (one with some rudimentary blacksmithing skills)
1 x all-arounder (has some farming, fishing, and clothesmaking skills)
5 x useless children
0 x aminals (though two cats have adopted owners)
* 2x Stills, Kitchens, Fisheries installed. Delay on butchers, no hunting yet.
* Carving out additional bedrooms so that I can accommodate 17 dwarves.
* Portions of forge cleared (actual forging areas)
* 5x5 plump helmet farm to help stave off starvation.
* Mason's shops and stone stockpiles active. Some furniture produced.
Seasons go by pretty damned quickly when you aren't having to pause or be interrupted for any reason.
There are no pictures for this update because not a great deal has happened, or at least not enough to be worthy of documentation.
Synopsis:
First Migrant wave:
No military skills or social skills. Nothing so much as a hunter.
1 x fishery workers
1 x Crossbowmaker
2 x farmers (one with some rudimentary blacksmithing skills)
1 x all-arounder (has some farming, fishing, and clothesmaking skills)
5 x useless children
0 x aminals (though two cats have adopted owners)
* 2x Stills, Kitchens, Fisheries installed. Delay on butchers, no hunting yet.
* Carving out additional bedrooms so that I can accommodate 17 dwarves.
* Portions of forge cleared (actual forging areas)
* 5x5 plump helmet farm to help stave off starvation.
* Mason's shops and stone stockpiles active. Some furniture produced.
User
Summer, 21
Palacelands is not yet a land for boys and girls. It's not a land for much of anything at the moment.
One of the things I'm trying to prepare for at the moment is eventualities. I suspect that given my somewhat unique location, I'll be fighting off some substantial sieges later on in the game and otherwise hanging out in lockdown mode. For this reason, I've decided that I probably ought to build an excess of workshops and stockpiles relative to my normal mode. What this means is an excess of mining. What this means is that shit doesn't get done. I've had to temporarily defer plans for a wood-burning forge and assorted other workshops in an effort to get down the basics: mason, carpenter, jeweler, mechanics. Also craft, which is pretty basic too. ANYWAY.
Tensions are running unusually high at the moment. My two miners have mutual grudges and one of them additionally is in a grudge with a fisherdwarf. The fisherdwarf also has a second mutual grudge with a woodcutter. The two woodcutters, meanwhile, are totally in love and work well together.
THESE ARE THE MEASUREMENTS FOR THE MACHINE I AM BUILDING
The ground floor is kind of a mess right now. The large square will become a general custom stockpile soon, I just need to clear some of the stone out of there first. Meeting area, for now, is south of the stairs. I'll build a farm or two south of the stockpile in the sands soon enough. Last time around, I was way too late in building farms and everyone nearly starved to death. Also the entry hall will be widened later. I keep my trade depot outside anyway, since the new version means that wagons can't cross traps.
This is my clusterfuck of a workshop zone. To the west are wood burning furnaces, carpenter's workshops, and what will eventually be large wood stockpiles in between. The south has a mechanic's workshop. I don't care too much about having a lot of space for that because you don't generally find yourself needing as many mechanisms. East would be the mason's workshops and stone piles if the fuckers ever finished. To the north, we have a jeweler and a craftsdwarf workshop. I might build a couple more craft ones later, but I haven't decided yet. It's not super necessary, but it helps when you have multiple dwarfs you want working in multiple mediums.
Fractal bedrooms. They will expand almost indefinitely.
I kind of want to get some of the other workshops going, like the smelters, forge, bowyer, leatherworks, and tannery, but given that I don't have the manpower to start hunting seriously anyway, those are going to go on the backburner for a while in favor of getting foodstores in order. As soon as the workshops are chiseled out (around which time we'll get some furniture in those bedrooms), I intend to roll out some farms and two each of kitchens, stills, fisheries, and butcher's shops. Along with these will come a dedicated food stockpile and my typical "whatever, fuck it"-style dining hall. Wells and forges will have to follow those.
Palacelands is not yet a land for boys and girls. It's not a land for much of anything at the moment.
One of the things I'm trying to prepare for at the moment is eventualities. I suspect that given my somewhat unique location, I'll be fighting off some substantial sieges later on in the game and otherwise hanging out in lockdown mode. For this reason, I've decided that I probably ought to build an excess of workshops and stockpiles relative to my normal mode. What this means is an excess of mining. What this means is that shit doesn't get done. I've had to temporarily defer plans for a wood-burning forge and assorted other workshops in an effort to get down the basics: mason, carpenter, jeweler, mechanics. Also craft, which is pretty basic too. ANYWAY.
Tensions are running unusually high at the moment. My two miners have mutual grudges and one of them additionally is in a grudge with a fisherdwarf. The fisherdwarf also has a second mutual grudge with a woodcutter. The two woodcutters, meanwhile, are totally in love and work well together.
THESE ARE THE MEASUREMENTS FOR THE MACHINE I AM BUILDING
The ground floor is kind of a mess right now. The large square will become a general custom stockpile soon, I just need to clear some of the stone out of there first. Meeting area, for now, is south of the stairs. I'll build a farm or two south of the stockpile in the sands soon enough. Last time around, I was way too late in building farms and everyone nearly starved to death. Also the entry hall will be widened later. I keep my trade depot outside anyway, since the new version means that wagons can't cross traps.
This is my clusterfuck of a workshop zone. To the west are wood burning furnaces, carpenter's workshops, and what will eventually be large wood stockpiles in between. The south has a mechanic's workshop. I don't care too much about having a lot of space for that because you don't generally find yourself needing as many mechanisms. East would be the mason's workshops and stone piles if the fuckers ever finished. To the north, we have a jeweler and a craftsdwarf workshop. I might build a couple more craft ones later, but I haven't decided yet. It's not super necessary, but it helps when you have multiple dwarfs you want working in multiple mediums.
Fractal bedrooms. They will expand almost indefinitely.
I kind of want to get some of the other workshops going, like the smelters, forge, bowyer, leatherworks, and tannery, but given that I don't have the manpower to start hunting seriously anyway, those are going to go on the backburner for a while in favor of getting foodstores in order. As soon as the workshops are chiseled out (around which time we'll get some furniture in those bedrooms), I intend to roll out some farms and two each of kitchens, stills, fisheries, and butcher's shops. Along with these will come a dedicated food stockpile and my typical "whatever, fuck it"-style dining hall. Wells and forges will have to follow those.
User
Since there has seemed to be continuing, unspoken interest in my Dwarf Fortress exploits, I've decided to make a new truck with some level of visibility and coherence. My old fortress is still around, but I wanted to take everyone through the process from the get-go with illustrations.
1. I'm using a graphical version of the game. This helps me figure out what the fuck is going on and is equally helpful for you in this manner. The more easily you're able to understand the important aspects of what's happening, then the joy of the game's inherent dwarfiness will come out soon enough.
2. The parameters I opted for were pretty similar to what I've run previously, in large part because I have no idea what I'm doing. Most of the dwarves in my old fortress are wearing tatters. Clothing is something of a mystery to me. The deviations from the default settings are as follows: history is short (I started in the year 21 or something), natural savagery is very low, and mineral appearances are frequent. My particular start location is in a warm biome on the side of a mountain range and has access to flux, shallow metal (singular), deep metals (plural), and a river nearby which probably has some dumb name. I can't be bothered to figure everything out. This may seem like an easy setup, but note that I only have shallow metal (singular), which means I could end up with something that's no good to work with and spend a while bungling around.
There's some other interesting aspects too. I'm pretty close to the Dwarven home lands and a few other civilizations (I can't read the languages well enough to know if they're good or hostile), but I'm also four squares away from sinister and haunted portions of the map, meaning that some particularly nasty titan could spawn and wander in or I could find myself regularly dealing with the goblins that were absent in Roughnesspointed. All resulting fun will be documented, but in general it behooves me to have my shit in order early in the game or suffer mightily.
Speaking of which, my new outpost is named "Palacelands." Which is the least interesting name ever.
A quick tour:
I went with the defaults of everything, which means I ended up with all female animals, two dogs, two cats, a water buggalo, and a horse. I meant to type buffalo, but buggalo are funnier. Note that I do not yet have a yak. Woe be to all of you once I get a yak. None of my dwarves have social or combat skills, but one is a jeweler/craftsdwarf, one's a mason/mechanic, there's a wood cutter/all-purpose farmer, a butcher/clothesmaker who for some reason is also the only one to be able to clean fish, a carpenter/bowyer, a miner, and a fisherman. Oddly, my miner is the creative one in the bunch so I'll probably have him take on the mason's work. The butcher is the expedition leader. Whatever.
This is my start location. I got a lot of sand and phyllite and some gems. Sand means there's hope of some level of farming and glass making for me once I get the various workshops squared away, and the gem clusters mean I'll have things to cut. Stars are ore. From the look of it, I have zinc here. that's... all... okay that's not good if it's the only thing I have. Looks like to the west I have tetrahedrite, so I'll be making bronze stuff early on, I guess. Those "c"s in the lower center portion of the picture are chinchillas. As soon as I get a leather works, a butcher's shop, and some crossbows in order, I'm fucking their adorable little shit up.
I also have a waterfall in the lower part of my map that spans four z-levels. This is the first time I've so much as seen a waterfall in the game. Aces. I've read where you can set up floor grates at the base of a waterfall and use those to get dead fish instantly delivered with no upkeep, which means that I might be able to disable the fishing labor entirely.
I will be updating on a seasonal basis, but the first few are mostly tedious. I'll be setting up my entry hall, a trade depot, workshops, and carving out the beginnings of the fractal bedrooms while biding my time waiting for immigrant waves to show up and hoping they aren't mostly children. It doesn't really matter until the third wave anyway, at which time they stop being randomized and start relating to your relative opportunities available. I might also lay the groundwork for a well below the housing area. since I figured out how to do that.
1. I'm using a graphical version of the game. This helps me figure out what the fuck is going on and is equally helpful for you in this manner. The more easily you're able to understand the important aspects of what's happening, then the joy of the game's inherent dwarfiness will come out soon enough.
2. The parameters I opted for were pretty similar to what I've run previously, in large part because I have no idea what I'm doing. Most of the dwarves in my old fortress are wearing tatters. Clothing is something of a mystery to me. The deviations from the default settings are as follows: history is short (I started in the year 21 or something), natural savagery is very low, and mineral appearances are frequent. My particular start location is in a warm biome on the side of a mountain range and has access to flux, shallow metal (singular), deep metals (plural), and a river nearby which probably has some dumb name. I can't be bothered to figure everything out. This may seem like an easy setup, but note that I only have shallow metal (singular), which means I could end up with something that's no good to work with and spend a while bungling around.
There's some other interesting aspects too. I'm pretty close to the Dwarven home lands and a few other civilizations (I can't read the languages well enough to know if they're good or hostile), but I'm also four squares away from sinister and haunted portions of the map, meaning that some particularly nasty titan could spawn and wander in or I could find myself regularly dealing with the goblins that were absent in Roughnesspointed. All resulting fun will be documented, but in general it behooves me to have my shit in order early in the game or suffer mightily.
Speaking of which, my new outpost is named "Palacelands." Which is the least interesting name ever.
A quick tour:
I went with the defaults of everything, which means I ended up with all female animals, two dogs, two cats, a water buggalo, and a horse. I meant to type buffalo, but buggalo are funnier. Note that I do not yet have a yak. Woe be to all of you once I get a yak. None of my dwarves have social or combat skills, but one is a jeweler/craftsdwarf, one's a mason/mechanic, there's a wood cutter/all-purpose farmer, a butcher/clothesmaker who for some reason is also the only one to be able to clean fish, a carpenter/bowyer, a miner, and a fisherman. Oddly, my miner is the creative one in the bunch so I'll probably have him take on the mason's work. The butcher is the expedition leader. Whatever.
This is my start location. I got a lot of sand and phyllite and some gems. Sand means there's hope of some level of farming and glass making for me once I get the various workshops squared away, and the gem clusters mean I'll have things to cut. Stars are ore. From the look of it, I have zinc here. that's... all... okay that's not good if it's the only thing I have. Looks like to the west I have tetrahedrite, so I'll be making bronze stuff early on, I guess. Those "c"s in the lower center portion of the picture are chinchillas. As soon as I get a leather works, a butcher's shop, and some crossbows in order, I'm fucking their adorable little shit up.
I also have a waterfall in the lower part of my map that spans four z-levels. This is the first time I've so much as seen a waterfall in the game. Aces. I've read where you can set up floor grates at the base of a waterfall and use those to get dead fish instantly delivered with no upkeep, which means that I might be able to disable the fishing labor entirely.
I will be updating on a seasonal basis, but the first few are mostly tedious. I'll be setting up my entry hall, a trade depot, workshops, and carving out the beginnings of the fractal bedrooms while biding my time waiting for immigrant waves to show up and hoping they aren't mostly children. It doesn't really matter until the third wave anyway, at which time they stop being randomized and start relating to your relative opportunities available. I might also lay the groundwork for a well below the housing area. since I figured out how to do that.
Truck
User
Another note from my "just goofing around" fortress:
An artifact was created by my dwarves early on in the founding of the fortress. It is an onyx opal crown, encrusted with oval cut onyx opals and encircled with bands of skunk leather and round claystone cabochons, adorned with rings of more onyx opal, iron spikes, and an image of a spore tree in almandine. The name of the artifact is Coastsneaks the Dangerous Help.
Since the creation of this artifact, nearly every other artifact produce when one of my dwarves flips out contains some image on it of Coastsneaks the Dangerous Help.
An artifact was created by my dwarves early on in the founding of the fortress. It is an onyx opal crown, encrusted with oval cut onyx opals and encircled with bands of skunk leather and round claystone cabochons, adorned with rings of more onyx opal, iron spikes, and an image of a spore tree in almandine. The name of the artifact is Coastsneaks the Dangerous Help.
Since the creation of this artifact, nearly every other artifact produce when one of my dwarves flips out contains some image on it of Coastsneaks the Dangerous Help.
Truck
User
The creator of Dwarf Fortress supposedly lives in Silverdale, Washington.
WHAT THE FUCK
WHAT THE FUCK
Truck
User
I like building forts at the bottom of the hill a little better. Makes it feel dwarfy.
I'll start Palacelands soon-ish. I started another fort just to dick around. Got to a population of 126 before I was attacked by anything at all. The thing that attacked me was a "weremouse." "Great. This will be comical," I thought. The weremouse spawned right next to a bunch of fishermen and tore through four of them plus a dog before it was attacked by the rest of my squad. One of them was one of my better hunters, who just happened to be fishing. It was probably for the best that hunter had her skull torn open because she was the only one that got bit and I don't need no weremice running around clawtearing up my fortress.
I'll start Palacelands soon-ish. I started another fort just to dick around. Got to a population of 126 before I was attacked by anything at all. The thing that attacked me was a "weremouse." "Great. This will be comical," I thought. The weremouse spawned right next to a bunch of fishermen and tore through four of them plus a dog before it was attacked by the rest of my squad. One of them was one of my better hunters, who just happened to be fishing. It was probably for the best that hunter had her skull torn open because she was the only one that got bit and I don't need no weremice running around clawtearing up my fortress.
Truck
User
So, here's the deal, goons. Since this was marginally popular, I'm going to be starting a new truck for a new fortress and trying to document as much of the preposterous bullshit that is happening as I can. This will be no kind of news to most people who already play Dwarf Fortress, but to the rest of us who are just now familiarizing ourselves, it'll be a lark.
Right now, there are two worlds that I've gotten decent embark sites on.
1. "Palacelands"
Stupid name. Hilariously so. I'm lodged between the haunted region of the map four squares to the south and the civilizations several more squares to the east. This could result in Fun. Near as I can tell, I have no visible iron either. And I have a waterfall! There is a great deal of potential here for horrifying things to happen, and thus it is an early favorite.
2. "Plankboard"
Plankboard's position isn't interesting. It's not too close to any other civs and certainly not to any kind of interesting terrain, though it does have iron. Where it excels is that Plankboard is in a universe called the Windy Plane, on the Continent of Bleaching, in a subregion called the Spike of Treaties, and most importantly, the river adjacent is Breakfastboys the Good Shore. HOLY SHIT.
I'm siding with Palacelands because there's more potential for peril there, and peril is inherently interesting, but being next to a river known as Breakfastboys the Good Shore is hard to pass up on.
Right now, there are two worlds that I've gotten decent embark sites on.
1. "Palacelands"
Stupid name. Hilariously so. I'm lodged between the haunted region of the map four squares to the south and the civilizations several more squares to the east. This could result in Fun. Near as I can tell, I have no visible iron either. And I have a waterfall! There is a great deal of potential here for horrifying things to happen, and thus it is an early favorite.
2. "Plankboard"
Plankboard's position isn't interesting. It's not too close to any other civs and certainly not to any kind of interesting terrain, though it does have iron. Where it excels is that Plankboard is in a universe called the Windy Plane, on the Continent of Bleaching, in a subregion called the Spike of Treaties, and most importantly, the river adjacent is Breakfastboys the Good Shore. HOLY SHIT.
I'm siding with Palacelands because there's more potential for peril there, and peril is inherently interesting, but being next to a river known as Breakfastboys the Good Shore is hard to pass up on.
Truck
User
I am pleased that you took advantage of that setup 
Truck
User
"By mister, were you referring to the mister I need to build, or did 'that' refer to the not-built mister, and you were addressing me as mister?"
'The both.'
'The both.'
Truck
User
What I'm thinking of doing is having one mister set up in the entrance where my old meeting room was and one mister set up at the entrance to the caverns. Decontamination chambers, if you will. But they'll have to be dwarf operated, which is kind of lame. I don't have any easy means of setting up a watermill near either location.
Truck
User
Outcast said:
For some reason i always thought NatureJay is a natural bodybuilder .. 
Comical!
Truck
User
That makes a goddamned lot of sense considering the leopards were wandering in there after the fact. Well fuck. That might take some time to engineer. I see a tutorial online to start a power mister, but I don't know if I'll have time to install it or work out the kinks in the near future, so I think I'll just not play for a week until the quarter is over. The contaminated room is way down in a z level in the 50s and getting water and parts down there is going to be a pain in the ass.
Am I going to have to kill and then carefully dispose of those contaminated and if so then how the fuck? Or should I just put them in the misty room and hope.
Am I going to have to kill and then carefully dispose of those contaminated and if so then how the fuck? Or should I just put them in the misty room and hope.
Truck
User
A giant sauropod with noxious fumes and an external ribcage broke into my fortress about a minute after I opened up the caverns. Before I could send my military squads down there, an especially curious weaver got his shit pushed in and then rotted off. The sauropod itself was then clubbed to death with little other damage except one of my dwarves had his left hand partially rot, which was cured fast enough. But now other things are rotting that weren't there at the time. Among them: one of my precious leopard cubs, running around, being adorable as its paws rot off and shoot miasma everywhere.
Truck
User
I now have two legendary masons to go with my two legendary engravers.
My fortress is the proud owner of the most ornate manhole cover in the known universe. I am also especially glad of the fact that something used to cover a hole leading underground has troglodytes on it.
Quote:
Monanggikut Tharnas An, Drilleddabble the Slayer of Meditating, a phyllite hatch cover
This is a phyllite hatch cover. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encircled with bands of llama wool. This object is adorned with hanging rings of phyllite and menaces with spikes of yak bone and mahogany. On the item is an image of troglodytes in wolverine leather.
This is a phyllite hatch cover. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encircled with bands of llama wool. This object is adorned with hanging rings of phyllite and menaces with spikes of yak bone and mahogany. On the item is an image of troglodytes in wolverine leather.
My fortress is the proud owner of the most ornate manhole cover in the known universe. I am also especially glad of the fact that something used to cover a hole leading underground has troglodytes on it.
Truck
User
One of my siege operators decided to use what little flux stone I had to create a figurine of a cheesemaker, whose presence has never been vital to my fortress, admiring millstones, which I have never built.
Fucking dwarves, man.
Fucking dwarves, man.
Truck
User
I don't think I understand. There's no way to win at Dwarf Fortress. It's supposed to end in failure, it's just the kind of failure that seems to vary from instance to instance.
JMD and Ato regard it as a form of cheating, but graphics packs can help you figure out what's going on and ease into it beyond the "this squiggle is mortal enemies of this other squiggle" aspect of it.
JMD and Ato regard it as a form of cheating, but graphics packs can help you figure out what's going on and ease into it beyond the "this squiggle is mortal enemies of this other squiggle" aspect of it.
Truck
User
I've yet to use a minecart in game for anything, but if I think about it a little, I can see where it probably would be possible to pull something like that off. Maybe a pressure plate system triggers it or there is one hall type entrance that is a false entrance and then a few other hatch entrances. It would be a little hard to rig in my current fortress for how it was initially designed and the fact that there are NO GOBLINS. I've been playing for about four years of game time and all I see are titans, cyclopses, forgotten beasts, and the occasional kobold. A kobold fucked up a few of my dogs last night. Made me sad. But the dogs were all strays because holy shit my fortress has way too many pets just wandering around with kittens and the yaks and the cows and the ships and the alpacas and I'm still waiting for that goddamned pair of breeding leopards I got off the elves to knock their little kitty boots already.
Truck
User
I think people who play Dwarf Fortress know that this is pretty common for Dwarf Fortress logic. I don't know where I'd post it anyway.
I reloaded the game and am now being attacked by a cyclops.
Monster: I'd like to attack Roughnesspointed, sir.
King of the Monsters: Is that more than one eye I see in your head?
Monster: Y-yes.
King of the Monsters: GET OUT
Cyclops is identified with the title of The Permanencies of Play. This cyclops plays for keeps. Its surname, on the other hand, is ControlLilacs. I just....
It didn't get a hit off, much like the two-headed man that attacked my fortress before it. Instead it had most of its limbs broken before it passed out due to pain and got hit in the head nine times, then died. That was... brief.
I reloaded the game and am now being attacked by a cyclops.
Monster: I'd like to attack Roughnesspointed, sir.
King of the Monsters: Is that more than one eye I see in your head?
Monster: Y-yes.
King of the Monsters: GET OUT
Cyclops is identified with the title of The Permanencies of Play. This cyclops plays for keeps. Its surname, on the other hand, is ControlLilacs. I just....
It didn't get a hit off, much like the two-headed man that attacked my fortress before it. Instead it had most of its limbs broken before it passed out due to pain and got hit in the head nine times, then died. That was... brief.
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A Savanna Titan wrecked my shit.
Descr:
I didn't actually have to worry about its poisonous bite because it spent most of the battle jamming one or another of its many legs through the heads of my dwarves before they could attack anything. In fact, the entire melee portion of my army was wiped out (probably because they were too busy being covered in web and then impaled) and it was only the hunters that seemed to slow it down. It was finally killed when an animal caretaker punched it in the leg and it fell over.
Descr:
Quote:
The Savanna Titan Ked Julosmsumost Acorulak has come! A huge one-eyed spider. It has a long, spiral horn and it has an austere look about it. Its dark olive exoskeleton is wrinkled. Beware its poisonous bite!
I didn't actually have to worry about its poisonous bite because it spent most of the battle jamming one or another of its many legs through the heads of my dwarves before they could attack anything. In fact, the entire melee portion of my army was wiped out (probably because they were too busy being covered in web and then impaled) and it was only the hunters that seemed to slow it down. It was finally killed when an animal caretaker punched it in the leg and it fell over.
User
I knew there was a reason why we made that headcrab a mod.
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I am now the proud owner of an artifact silver shield with an image of itself carved into it. Fortunately the image of the silver shield is also in silver. It also has an image of oaks, done in a rock, and an image of a gem, done in wood. Because dwarves. The name of the artifact is "Syrupreined". Because dwarves.
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It does sound like I'm playing Dwarf Fortress!
I found caverns earlier today. I haven't explored them yet. What I do know is that cavern plants are now growing in that area of my hospital which was previously flooded. I hope that the injured dwarves find themselves comforted by the presence of trees and bushes because I ain't doing shit about it.
I seem to notice that in this version of Dwarf Fortress, the moods are... okay I didn't play any other version of Dwarf Fortress, but I had a weaver flip out and take over a loom. He requested: rock blocks, metal bars, and logs. I had the latter two lying around. I needed to make some stone blocks. So I did! The dwarf in question continued to sit at the loom screaming its fool head off. Dwarves are some bullshit, man.
I found caverns earlier today. I haven't explored them yet. What I do know is that cavern plants are now growing in that area of my hospital which was previously flooded. I hope that the injured dwarves find themselves comforted by the presence of trees and bushes because I ain't doing shit about it.
I seem to notice that in this version of Dwarf Fortress, the moods are... okay I didn't play any other version of Dwarf Fortress, but I had a weaver flip out and take over a loom. He requested: rock blocks, metal bars, and logs. I had the latter two lying around. I needed to make some stone blocks. So I did! The dwarf in question continued to sit at the loom screaming its fool head off. Dwarves are some bullshit, man.
User
I have bought 113 things from Steam.
20 of them are presently installed.
25 of them perhaps have ever been installed.
I have probably played 15 of them.
I lead a hollow existence which I aim to fill with material things or as material as the form of steam is.
20 of them are presently installed.
25 of them perhaps have ever been installed.
I have probably played 15 of them.
I lead a hollow existence which I aim to fill with material things or as material as the form of steam is.
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A towering one-eyed weasel with a regal demeanor and deadly spittle! DO NOT FORGET THAT I WAS UNDER SIEGE AS THE RESULT OF A DICK JOKE
Here's something that didn't happen: I built a well with no practical understanding of how floodgates work. The result was that the water didn't stop and since I didn't dwarf-proof the channel ahead of time, one of my best hunters got washed into the reservoir along with both of his pets. Being that his body was unrecoverable, he then turned into a furious ghost and in the resulting tantrum spiral one of the minors took out the reservoir wall and killed everyone left who wasn't insane. That definitely didn't happen.
Here's something that did happen: I built a well with a meager understanding of how floodgates worked and dwarf-proofed it from the get-go. I waited a bit too long to reset the floodgate and as a result my hospital flooded for a while, but no one drowned even though there was a baby in the water for a while and also possibly a pig in the middle. Ever since the well has stopped overflowing, people have really appreciated having clean accessible water for the first time in two years.
Here's something that didn't happen: I built a well with no practical understanding of how floodgates work. The result was that the water didn't stop and since I didn't dwarf-proof the channel ahead of time, one of my best hunters got washed into the reservoir along with both of his pets. Being that his body was unrecoverable, he then turned into a furious ghost and in the resulting tantrum spiral one of the minors took out the reservoir wall and killed everyone left who wasn't insane. That definitely didn't happen.
Here's something that did happen: I built a well with a meager understanding of how floodgates worked and dwarf-proofed it from the get-go. I waited a bit too long to reset the floodgate and as a result my hospital flooded for a while, but no one drowned even though there was a baby in the water for a while and also possibly a pig in the middle. Ever since the well has stopped overflowing, people have really appreciated having clean accessible water for the first time in two years.
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Today I fought a titan. Goblins don't seem to exist in my world?
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Update: I have abandoned "Ectogirders" but not before two extremely important things happened.
1. One of my fisherdwarves went nuts and made a cabinet out of capybara bones, engraved with images of giant snails [none of my dwarves have ever seen giant snails] and something dedicated to the founding of Ectogirders. All my relics from that play were dedicated to the founding of Ectogirders.
2. A goblin had a short day. It tried to get into my fort and was captured by a cage trap almost immediately. Being that I've barely played the game at all, I figured out how to disarm it, but not how to release it. It sat in the cage for a year, stewing in goblin juices. Then a dwarven caravan came along and I thought "fuck it, I'll trade the goblin to them and see what happens." The goblin didn't take kindly to this and escaped almost immediately. The issue was that the only way to leave the fort is through the trap hallway, and between the trap hallway and the stockpile, there was the meeting area, and most of my dwarves, who were transporting things. A few seconds later, I pause the game and examine the goblin who now has six lines worth of broken or gashed things. One of its thumbs has been knocked off and somehow a bolt has taken out all of the BACK TEETH in its upper jaw. Crumpling to the floor, it has its face chewed off by a stray dog who happened to be nearby, and this finally kills the goblin. For this feat, the stray dog is bestowed with the title of Diamondjaws. Most of the dog by this time was covered in goblin blood. It may have attacked because it was being covered in goblin blood.
Ectogirders, sadly, never filled with ghosts because everyone was murdered too quickly. Whoops.
New fortress is Roughnesspointed. A name to aspire to. Jack shit has happened and I've been playing for two full years now but there are two things worth mentioning:
1. The third wave of migrants had the arrival of a near legendary cook/mason, who has spent most of the past year carving and cooking masterpieces. Every five seconds, masterpieces. When one of my dwarves went secretive recently, the result was a hematite flute carved with the image of the legendary mason erecting a microcline door. That's how amazing he is.
2. In preparation for the goblin siege which sort of fucked me the last time, I built and designated a hospital to prepare for, I don't know, something. Around the time that was finished, the elven caravan arrived. Due to bugs or general fun, all of my dwarves immediately stopped being idle for about half an hour and upon investigation, I have discovered that they were robbing the caravan blind of every piece of cloth it had so that they could fill the medical coffers. The elves, being a stoic race, have yet to notice and I'm not about to alert them.
1. One of my fisherdwarves went nuts and made a cabinet out of capybara bones, engraved with images of giant snails [none of my dwarves have ever seen giant snails] and something dedicated to the founding of Ectogirders. All my relics from that play were dedicated to the founding of Ectogirders.
2. A goblin had a short day. It tried to get into my fort and was captured by a cage trap almost immediately. Being that I've barely played the game at all, I figured out how to disarm it, but not how to release it. It sat in the cage for a year, stewing in goblin juices. Then a dwarven caravan came along and I thought "fuck it, I'll trade the goblin to them and see what happens." The goblin didn't take kindly to this and escaped almost immediately. The issue was that the only way to leave the fort is through the trap hallway, and between the trap hallway and the stockpile, there was the meeting area, and most of my dwarves, who were transporting things. A few seconds later, I pause the game and examine the goblin who now has six lines worth of broken or gashed things. One of its thumbs has been knocked off and somehow a bolt has taken out all of the BACK TEETH in its upper jaw. Crumpling to the floor, it has its face chewed off by a stray dog who happened to be nearby, and this finally kills the goblin. For this feat, the stray dog is bestowed with the title of Diamondjaws. Most of the dog by this time was covered in goblin blood. It may have attacked because it was being covered in goblin blood.
Ectogirders, sadly, never filled with ghosts because everyone was murdered too quickly. Whoops.
New fortress is Roughnesspointed. A name to aspire to. Jack shit has happened and I've been playing for two full years now but there are two things worth mentioning:
1. The third wave of migrants had the arrival of a near legendary cook/mason, who has spent most of the past year carving and cooking masterpieces. Every five seconds, masterpieces. When one of my dwarves went secretive recently, the result was a hematite flute carved with the image of the legendary mason erecting a microcline door. That's how amazing he is.
2. In preparation for the goblin siege which sort of fucked me the last time, I built and designated a hospital to prepare for, I don't know, something. Around the time that was finished, the elven caravan arrived. Due to bugs or general fun, all of my dwarves immediately stopped being idle for about half an hour and upon investigation, I have discovered that they were robbing the caravan blind of every piece of cloth it had so that they could fill the medical coffers. The elves, being a stoic race, have yet to notice and I'm not about to alert them.
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Yeah, superjer, you obviously can't tell what real psychics are
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Sick vid
my stomach hurts
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SRAW said:
Rush would have made a better movie, but they weren't the least bit interested
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I've played a lot of The Binding of Isaac and it is probably godawful boring to watch unless you get a bunch of crazy items early on that make you nigh invincible (Tech 2 + Mom's Contacts, for example).
I would rather watch Superjer play Spelunky for another hour or two than watch in on someone's Binding of Isaac game.
I would rather watch Superjer play Spelunky for another hour or two than watch in on someone's Binding of Isaac game.
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Why is superjer so sticky?
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User
If we barbecue, watch NASCAR, and double-fist shitty beer while playing Diablo III, would that be enough for your masculinity to not be threatened?
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I don't get it. Where's the gun kata
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User
I'm going to steal that Borges has a posse photo, thank you very much.
User
dropping some knowledge like it's so hot that you have to dunk your head in a lake afterwards and then flush the lake
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User
Oh my god Ray Wise as Douglas MacArthur
User
Not only was money's post better, it was money's only post ever.
User
What makes me really happy is that someone created an account, found this truck that hasn't been responded to in nearly three years, and decided "THIS! THIS IS THE PERFECT PLACE TO JUMP INTO THE COMMUNITY"
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Then we need to make our own server. With blackjack. And hookers. In fact, FORGET THE SERVER
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Sure, you have horrible taste relative to the rest of us, but you also have more taste than the rest of us, and isn't that what really matters?*
* It is not what really matters.**
** Only your cherished relationships with friends and family really matter.***
***
* It is not what really matters.**
** Only your cherished relationships with friends and family really matter.***
***
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superjer said:
<3
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molkman said:
That's one crazy-ass keyboard. But I expected better of you at the F-keys!
Yeah, I was telling him that on Friday. I told him that he at least had "Fate" and "Fun" as gimmes. How about this?
Fun, Fu (or Foo), Free (or Fee), Fore, Fife, Fix, Feather or Fever (hardest one to come up with something), Fate, Fine, Fen
Alternatively, for Four and Five I was considering Phour and Phive.
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOUR KEYBOARD HAS AN INFILTRATE BUTTON
YOUR KEYBOARD HAS AN INFILTRATE BUTTON
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aaronjer said:
Jay, stop having stupid dreams for girls.
:(
That dream was pretty stupid though. Far less interesting than a dream involving ghost drugs would seem like it should be.
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I care what the real cloud thinks, but you are irrelevant.
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I don't remember most of this dream, but I remember enough of it to mention a detail or two.
So, I dreamed that I woke up in the middle of the night because there was a helichopter buzzing around my neighborhood and then above my house. It started peering in my windows and the rest of the windows on the upper level and I could see it clearly even though the shades were drawn (it had a really bright light or something) and there were about six SWAT guys in it.
I went to the top of the stairs and found out that all the lights were on down there and the SWAT fellows were wandering around, not being stealthy or anything. They said that they were following someone and that there was a trail of blood that seemed to end on my back porch and go inside and that's why they were looking around.
At the time, I was less concerned with the fact that someone could be in my house and bleeding as much as the risk that the SWAT guys might discover my hidden cache of ghost drugs. You see, earlier in the dream, for whatever reason, I had been talking to a drug dealer who for equally unknown reasons decided that he was going to unload his stash of drugs on me as they were supposedly defective. It was a variety of random hallucinogens, stimulants, and depressants, I seem to remember cocaine figuring prominently in the mix. It may have mostly been cocaine. So after accepting these drugs I took them home to inspect what was there, figuring I could probably sell them to some poor fool and while looking through the cocaine pouch a ghostly light went off and I was transferred to the spirit world. (DISCLAIMER: I DON'T USE OR DEAL ILLEGAL DRUGS, ESPECIALLY NOT ONES WITH GHOSTS/DEMONS IN THEM)
I'm sure you're curious what the spirit world looks like! From what I saw, it looks like the lower level/basement of a house that was built in the 70s/80s with the textured sparkly ceiling and the run down carpeting and all that, except there was no furniture, it went on forever in all directions, and the only source of light were windows that were about three-quarters of the way up into the wall. The spirit world is also inhabited. The most prominent resident I remember talking to was a man who looked like a taller, spindlier version of early 90s Vanilla Ice, except instead of being so coifed his hair was messy and patchy and he looked like he was wearing Beetlejuice make-up. I didn't really get a good vibe from him, but I didn't think that he was out to cause any harm to me personally (this was the extent of my assessment) and it was more of a very clear and distinct sense that he and I were from different planes of existence and were going to regard earthly matters from very different perspectives.
As soon as I snapped back to the material realm, my first thought was "holy shit, I bet these ghost drugs are worth a ton on the black market! Alls I need to do is find a buyer!" So I hid them somewhere in my room and was waiting it out until I could explore the market the next day. Except that night happened and so did the SWAT team and the mysterious bleeding person.
Because by this point in the dream I was having all kinds of great ideas, it seemed perfectly sensible to go rummaging through my room looking for the polterdrugs while the SWAT team was downstairs and could conceivably move their search upstairs at any moment. Except that I couldn't find the drugs anywhere. I went through my room and my closet for SEVERAL MINUTES and the only things I could find were bits of sawdust and adapter cables to make newer monitors function with older video cards. After that, I thought "well, fuck it, if I can't find them, there's no way in hell the SWAT team will be able to find them. I must have put them somewhere else!" And then I went out into the hall and the dream ended shortly thereafter.
At no point in time did it occur to me that the bleeding person that SWAT team was chasing probably stole my ghost drugs.
And this was all after I went off NyQuil.
So, I dreamed that I woke up in the middle of the night because there was a helichopter buzzing around my neighborhood and then above my house. It started peering in my windows and the rest of the windows on the upper level and I could see it clearly even though the shades were drawn (it had a really bright light or something) and there were about six SWAT guys in it.
I went to the top of the stairs and found out that all the lights were on down there and the SWAT fellows were wandering around, not being stealthy or anything. They said that they were following someone and that there was a trail of blood that seemed to end on my back porch and go inside and that's why they were looking around.
At the time, I was less concerned with the fact that someone could be in my house and bleeding as much as the risk that the SWAT guys might discover my hidden cache of ghost drugs. You see, earlier in the dream, for whatever reason, I had been talking to a drug dealer who for equally unknown reasons decided that he was going to unload his stash of drugs on me as they were supposedly defective. It was a variety of random hallucinogens, stimulants, and depressants, I seem to remember cocaine figuring prominently in the mix. It may have mostly been cocaine. So after accepting these drugs I took them home to inspect what was there, figuring I could probably sell them to some poor fool and while looking through the cocaine pouch a ghostly light went off and I was transferred to the spirit world. (DISCLAIMER: I DON'T USE OR DEAL ILLEGAL DRUGS, ESPECIALLY NOT ONES WITH GHOSTS/DEMONS IN THEM)
I'm sure you're curious what the spirit world looks like! From what I saw, it looks like the lower level/basement of a house that was built in the 70s/80s with the textured sparkly ceiling and the run down carpeting and all that, except there was no furniture, it went on forever in all directions, and the only source of light were windows that were about three-quarters of the way up into the wall. The spirit world is also inhabited. The most prominent resident I remember talking to was a man who looked like a taller, spindlier version of early 90s Vanilla Ice, except instead of being so coifed his hair was messy and patchy and he looked like he was wearing Beetlejuice make-up. I didn't really get a good vibe from him, but I didn't think that he was out to cause any harm to me personally (this was the extent of my assessment) and it was more of a very clear and distinct sense that he and I were from different planes of existence and were going to regard earthly matters from very different perspectives.
As soon as I snapped back to the material realm, my first thought was "holy shit, I bet these ghost drugs are worth a ton on the black market! Alls I need to do is find a buyer!" So I hid them somewhere in my room and was waiting it out until I could explore the market the next day. Except that night happened and so did the SWAT team and the mysterious bleeding person.
Because by this point in the dream I was having all kinds of great ideas, it seemed perfectly sensible to go rummaging through my room looking for the polterdrugs while the SWAT team was downstairs and could conceivably move their search upstairs at any moment. Except that I couldn't find the drugs anywhere. I went through my room and my closet for SEVERAL MINUTES and the only things I could find were bits of sawdust and adapter cables to make newer monitors function with older video cards. After that, I thought "well, fuck it, if I can't find them, there's no way in hell the SWAT team will be able to find them. I must have put them somewhere else!" And then I went out into the hall and the dream ended shortly thereafter.
At no point in time did it occur to me that the bleeding person that SWAT team was chasing probably stole my ghost drugs.
And this was all after I went off NyQuil.
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Also that particular screenshot reminds me a lot of the Cagnazzo reveal from Final Fantasy IV
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Sometimes, I want to play the original NES Dragon Warrior games, but then they're all "To go down or up STAIRS, use the STAIRS command" and I'm like "fuck that." I think there may have been remakes that got around that though. I would play those.
Aaronjer would say you should play Dragon Warrior IV. I wouldn't say that. I'm busy.
Aaronjer would say you should play Dragon Warrior IV. I wouldn't say that. I'm busy.
User
Down Rodeo said:
Is that not the song that is supposed to be kind of like what english sounds like to Italians?
CORRECT
User
This is partially for Crytax because he wasn't there and partially because I still can't stop watching it.
It's gibberish. Italian gibberish.
Sick vid
It's gibberish. Italian gibberish.
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Crytax said:
What? It only took me, like, 10 minutes. Tops.
No no no, Cryson, it's not the fact that you did it in ten minutes.
It's the fact that we can't believe you did it in ten minutes.
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It was cold, and the wind was blowing. It's hard not to look like you might be undead in those pictures. After I finished taking the shots, my hands literally hurt from how cold it was getting.
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I haven't had birds on my head. Just birds on my legs. Fucking hanging out and shit. Goddamn.
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phoenix_r said:
I DON'T UNDERSTAND
SLOTH HAS BEEN POSTING PICTURES OF DINGALINGS ALL OVER THE FORAMS BUT HE DIDN'T SOURCE THEM EXTERNALLY FIRST AND NOW THE DINGALINGS ARE GOING AWAY
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Sloth seems to have a fondness for the tallywhacker.
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Old Man Waterfall, Futurama.
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User
When I was on GJ's computer, The President was sitting by my side, staring at me. I said "Hi there, Mr. President" and he reached up, put both paws on my shoulder, and then hit me in the nose!
User
Boobs are boobs unless they're moobs. Then something terrible has happened and we must alert the president.
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The white states have one supporting and one opposing, but yes.
And I saw that clip too. Probably the most ridiculous one I've seen yet.
And I saw that clip too. Probably the most ridiculous one I've seen yet.
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the_cloud_system said:
Holy fuck how i have changed.
I'll say! Not one of those words was misspelled!
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I have discovered that my youngest brother is an asshole.
I'm quite proud.
I'm quite proud.
User
molkman said:
NatureJay said:
Portishead
I still have their Third album lying around here on vinyl, but haven't given it a listen yet. :/
I love Dummy though, so I should probably try the other ones too.
I loooove the first track off Third, but some of the tracks I felt were a little repetitive. I don't know. I will still be excited whenever the fuck they release a new album.
And now I'm having some new thoughts! Pertaining to things I've been meaning to share with Nez and atojohns and subadar for some time I guess but then I keep forgetting and maybe we don't actually have all that much in common musically?
ANDREW BIRD (two of these are ACTUAL MUSIC VIDEOS)
Sick vid
Sick vid
Sick vid
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fedex _ said:
OK OK i will stay out of your dreams
{success! half the plan is complete! now to figure out how to get him into my car
}
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I haven't played any of those games in a long time! Get out of here!
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I had a dream last night where my mom found a way to clone AND reincarnate her old cat (which is to say, it was visually identical and had the same personality). I was happy that she was happy but that was about the extent of it. He wasn't a very good cat.
I had another dream last night where I was playing a game that alternated between 2-D and 3-D and the main character was a skeleton with a variety of guns. In the 2-D parts it was a platformer taking place in the sewers/catacombs and I was shooting at flies, collecting keys, and running from the police, who were sometimes also sewer mutants. In the 3-D parts, it was in a town/suburbia and I was trying to steal shit from people's houses. I didn't feel remorse about it because all the people were horrible. Sometimes I was forced to kill them but the game treated it as though I was doing the world a favor. I have no doubt that this would have been an excellent game had it existed in reality.
I had another dream last night where I was playing a game that alternated between 2-D and 3-D and the main character was a skeleton with a variety of guns. In the 2-D parts it was a platformer taking place in the sewers/catacombs and I was shooting at flies, collecting keys, and running from the police, who were sometimes also sewer mutants. In the 3-D parts, it was in a town/suburbia and I was trying to steal shit from people's houses. I didn't feel remorse about it because all the people were horrible. Sometimes I was forced to kill them but the game treated it as though I was doing the world a favor. I have no doubt that this would have been an excellent game had it existed in reality.
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He's no Axl Rose, but those are some pretty big teeth.
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SHAEL
wait, he isn't from the narthlands? ripoff
wait, he isn't from the narthlands? ripoff
User
SRAW said:
Rush beats the shit out of these posers.
Geddy Lee has a jetplane shaped like a bass guitar
User
This isn't anything I've discovered recently. I discovered them two years ago I think. I guess that would be more recent if I had lived longer before then. It's all fucking relative.
Anyway, I want to make an important point about Portishead. Beth Gibbons can sing the fuck out of a song and then sing the fuck back into it. She can also go from sweet and almost wounded to "definitely going to flay you given the opportunity".
EXAMPLES!
Sweet (obvious)
Also sweet
Probably is planning your demise
I don't know. It's impressive.
Anyway, I want to make an important point about Portishead. Beth Gibbons can sing the fuck out of a song and then sing the fuck back into it. She can also go from sweet and almost wounded to "definitely going to flay you given the opportunity".
EXAMPLES!
Sweet (obvious)
Sick vid
Also sweet
Sick vid
Probably is planning your demise
Sick vid
Sick vid
I don't know. It's impressive.
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That's better, I guess. Good, negligent, mercy killing, and sociopathic is some kind of spectrum.
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Rockbomb said:
Down Rodeo said:
I'm not in my right mind.
Ah, so you're a lefty, eh?
Well I'm not ok with that.
If he's a lefty, he would be in his right mind.
God, it's like you don't know anything about brains at all!
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atojamz has said you can also figure out some way to get her to believe in herself and get her to be useful that way, but it takes longer. He's more interested in The Bad Choices, or ways to make the game Faster.
While I admire the lengths he's willing to go to, it does sort of seem like you have the binary options of being Goody Two Feet or The Worst Person Imaginable.
While I admire the lengths he's willing to go to, it does sort of seem like you have the binary options of being Goody Two Feet or The Worst Person Imaginable.
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eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I watched a bit of Rurouni Kenshin, like a long time ago, dubbed. I came back about a year ago and tried to watch some of it, somehow under a different dub (Hulu and such) and I didn't find it as engaging as I did before. It had some moments and all that, but for all the time and energy people these days spend on talking about some of the long-running anime of that era (COUGH DRAGONBALL Z COUGH), looking back on it now, it doesn't feel as though a lot of it was fully realized in a conceptual way back then.
Maybe I didn't get far enough into my re-watch though
Desert Punk is good stuff. You can tell the points at which it diverged from the manga, but the result is nonetheless ballsy.
I watched a bit of Rurouni Kenshin, like a long time ago, dubbed. I came back about a year ago and tried to watch some of it, somehow under a different dub (Hulu and such) and I didn't find it as engaging as I did before. It had some moments and all that, but for all the time and energy people these days spend on talking about some of the long-running anime of that era (COUGH DRAGONBALL Z COUGH), looking back on it now, it doesn't feel as though a lot of it was fully realized in a conceptual way back then.
Maybe I didn't get far enough into my re-watch though
Desert Punk is good stuff. You can tell the points at which it diverged from the manga, but the result is nonetheless ballsy.
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SRAW said:
What kind of rpg game has you playing as the bad guy?
aaronjer said:
She's the main character and Azmagelle's daughter. She's an extremely good person, and won't stand for it if you're evil. It's very likely you'll be forced to kill her if you're the bad man. DRAMA!
aaronjer said:
...won't stand for it if you're evil. It's very likely you'll be forced to kill her if you're the bad man.
aaronjer said:
...if you're evil... if you're the bad man.
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KITTEH
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BEARD SLAP
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So, what I got out of that basically is that people are shits and sometimes a dude will stop taking it briefly before getting back into his car and driving away.
User
Nope. For your grave error in forgetting your password and leaving us, you will now wear the penance pink indefinitely.
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the_cloud_system said:
if i had a camera and two naked girls i would put them in that.
2 girls 1 bag
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.... is that a scrunchy? 
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melloyellow582 said:
I think you might be stalking me, but I don't mind that much.
We're just stalking you because the only times you'll let us hang out with you are when you don't know about it.
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You demonstrate impressive facial hair and went on a hike with us that one time. You also seem to know more about music than most of us.
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aaronjer said:
The brown man with the arms.
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the_cloud_system said:
just got done watching paranoia agent.
More like
It's one of those weird shows where just about everything you need to know about the tone of the show is conveyed through the opening animation. It still doesn't quite get at the last few scenes of the final episode, but I still cheer every time I see Ikari break down.
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phoenix_r said:
I just noticed that picture is solid snake plus georgio...fuck, daily the love pile grows, cloudy...
Wait you just now noticed that?
Rockbomb said:
I'm like 2/3 of the way through bleach right now... I need to finish it.
Bleach is pretty all right for a shounen, but it has a lot of the usual shounen pitfalls like "good guys never die", "hero is so fucking determined he's going to tell you about how fucking determined he is all the time", and "nakama are ultimately useless". Also the anime-only arcs have been pretty uninspired for the most part, but hey, at least none of them have yet been as bad as the Bount arc because holy crap that was awful (and hey, the mod soul pals from that thing are still around and continued to never interact with anyone in a meaningful way, which is getting it at least mostly right).
On the plus side, fucking characters and shit. And interesting powers that work in such a way that few universal advantages can be maintained.
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You should also watch Dennou Coil, which is fun, and cute, and abruptly gets really fucking scary.
And Serial Experiments Lain, which is cute sometimes, not so much fun, and gets WEIRD.
And Serial Experiments Lain, which is cute sometimes, not so much fun, and gets WEIRD.
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phoenix_r said:
Excel Saga (now on Netflix!)
HULU
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buq25 said:
Blood+
For merely mentioning Blood+ and not Blood: The Last Vampire, you're going to get hell from aaronjer. I saw them in reverse order and I was okay with Blood+, mostly, but it got to the point where I realized that none of the scene-setting shit mattered and that the peripheral characters were all but disposable. That's not something that makes me happy.
Among the shows I would give some praise of but not fully endorse (it seems like you're well-versed in the Adult Swim stuff):
Ghost Hound - Takes place in a small Japanese town with primary characters of a brewer's son who was kidnapped as a child along with his sister (who died), a somewhat smarmy scientist's son from Tokyo who has a crippling fear of heights, the guitar-playing, ne'er-do-well grandson of a local cult leader (whose family was rumored to be involved with the kidnapping of kid #1), and the daughter of a local priest who is sometimes possessed/has visions. It's a decent premise rooted somewhat in the spirit world and self-exploration with questions of technology and the human soul, but the last few episodes shit the bed and they forget about the driving forces of the plot in favour of some other stupid bullshit.
Black Butler - Basic premise: Victorian era nobleman's son witnesses parents killed off by some cultish thing and then contracts with the devil to be his butler in exchange for his soul later. There are also the goofy side characters of the pyromaniac chef, the absurdly strong but clumsy gardener, the near-sighted maid, and the usually chibi old butler, none of whom are exactly what they seem. It's mostly humourous, but dark humour, mixed with the occassional feat of badassery from the butler. If you get into it, I wouldn't watch the second series, it's not nearly as good.
D. Gray Man - It's a shounen, so you have to deal with certain shounen tropes, but it has a driving force behind it that is a lot weirder and scarier than most shows will go to. In the world, there are akuma, or demons. These demons come out in a very particular way. First, someone dies. Then someone close to them, lamenting that death, contracts with the series' villain (a particularly goofy looking gentleman) to bring them back. The soul of the deceased is then transfered to large black skeleton where it is trapped, and the soul, no longer capable of controlling its own actions but remaining aware of them, kills the person that brought them back and wears their skin. Those are the akuma. There are various evolutions of each akuma which only corrupt the soul more and more, but that's the gist of it. Exorcists fight them. One of them has a big punchy hand and then there's a samurai and a girl who kicks stuff. They aren't quite so interesting as the akuma and the people controlling the akuma, but at the very least, they manage to give the main characters development. The shit thing about the show is that it follows a manga and the mangaka is frequently sick/injured/loony and production has become erratic, which means that the show went to an anime-only conclusion where the manga is still rolling (and has just recently revealed all of the players on the evil side). But when it's funny/silly, it's super silly, and when it's uncomfortable, it's super bleak.
Samurai 7 - Based off the Kurosawa flick, if you make the world not feudal Japan but some grey wasteland with pockets of dense industrial cities, if you make the raiders evil aliens with space ships, and if you give the titular samurai anime type martial arts superpowers. It's fucking pretty but I've never seen it in its entirety.
Last Exile - Steampunky, lots of air fights, weird world (kingdoms fighting each other, separated by giant storm fields), but ultimarely falls apart at the end like Ghost Hound does and fails to be as interesting as it seemed like it wanted to be. BUT THEY'RE MAKING A NEW SERIES.
Pani Poni Dash - Uhhh.... seen Azumanga Daioh? It's like that. But faster. And usually weirder. God is a cat that lives in vending machines and warms things up to his body heat.
Excel Saga - Also fucking weird. Just watch it. Nabeshin!
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I thought of some stuff! You've probably already watched the Ghost in the Shell series, but if you haven't go do it. They're mind-bendy in an intelligent way. Also, Paranoia Agent has the same "smart but mind-bending" aspect to it (though pushed in a much more insane direction)... but you already listed it in editting Trigun is apparently one of the rare series where the show was better than the manga.
aaronjer keeps pushing the Slayers thing and one of these days I might watch it. One of these days I might do a lot of things, but one of these days I might be dead.
Trigun is apparently one of the rare series where the show was better than the manga.
aaronjer keeps pushing the Slayers thing and one of these days I might watch it. One of these days I might do a lot of things, but one of these days I might be dead.
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I've been enjoying the hell out of Durarara!! lately, which seems to do this ensemble cast thing that's mostly set in our world (or a neighborhood in Tokyo) with some weird mythical shit added for spice (Dullahans, spirit possession, etc). It's been a damned long time since I've been as entertained by a show as I have been by that one, but I've been told it starts to fall apart at the end, maybe because they outpaced the author.
What else.... FLCL is worth watching and quick to get through. It might break your brain. People seem to either love or hate it, but it has far more depth than it seems like it has any right to... Darker than Black takes the "weird event in Japan causes some people to have superpowers" trope and does right by it in a lot of respects, providing solid characters, continuity, and a damned fine soundtrack... The second Full Metal Alchemist series (Brotherhood) was far superior to the first, though it glosses over too much of the plot leading up and Ed is not that likeable initially... Samurai Champloo = Shinichiro Watanabe (the guy who brought us Cowboy Bebop) + Samurai + Hiphop and is good, if you're okay with things mostly being one-offs.
I could probably think of more but not ones that I might recommend as strongly.
What else.... FLCL is worth watching and quick to get through. It might break your brain. People seem to either love or hate it, but it has far more depth than it seems like it has any right to... Darker than Black takes the "weird event in Japan causes some people to have superpowers" trope and does right by it in a lot of respects, providing solid characters, continuity, and a damned fine soundtrack... The second Full Metal Alchemist series (Brotherhood) was far superior to the first, though it glosses over too much of the plot leading up and Ed is not that likeable initially... Samurai Champloo = Shinichiro Watanabe (the guy who brought us Cowboy Bebop) + Samurai + Hiphop and is good, if you're okay with things mostly being one-offs.
I could probably think of more but not ones that I might recommend as strongly.
User
aaronjer said:
SRAW said:
What kind of person doesn't clear their browser cache in 3 years? ... creep
I'm pretty sure needing to clear your cache is more of a sign of being a creep, actually.
What if I clear other people's browser caches?
User
Pitchfork is where pretentious pricks get music reviews from even more pretentious pricks.
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CHAIR FORCE
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Is this a promo shot for your band?
User
Subadar has come to the mountain.
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aaronjer said:
How could they not be? They contain this life and everything after.
Then there's a chance that his pants contain the reason why sprinkles joined the military.
Let's go spelunking
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phoenix_r said:
SRAW said:
Where is the patriotic spirit?
IN MY PANTS
HIS PANTS ARE HAUNTED
User
SRAW said:
Wait so cloud plays minecraft on such an old processor with only 1gb of ram??
With satellite internet!
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User
Huh. I think this is one of the rare instances in which I've agreed with Rockbomb. Well how about that.
User
We have to sticky it. This is the only way we can help to solve the mystery of WHO STOLE CLOUD'S RAM? 
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FallingShit said:
This truck is officialy a zombie truck lol
Zombie truck, the truck of the undead
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Ukulele no good
User
They are both bands which play music, though in Captain Beefheart's case, the distinction might be generous. I like him, but Trout Mask Replica is just as unlistenable today as it was forty years ago.
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SolidKAYOS said:
aaronjer said:
Two <3's are better than one?
<3 <3 <3
Now he's an Octopus
User
Just dehydrated. Drunk hiking is a bad idea. We learned that on Little Si, where you see aaronjer holding up the tree.
User
aaronjer said:
I got really close.
At least we can both agree that I would definitely have died if I tried to up the scramble.
At least we can both agree that I would definitely have died if I tried to up the scramble.
Yeah, I can think of multiple compelling reasons for you not to have continued. Putting aside the balance issues, the enormous scramble, and the 45 degree meadow with nothing to hold on to that lead to the mailbox, you were getting tired and starting to slow down before that happened and ran out of drinks early on. You got about as far as you could there.
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User
For reasons that should become obvious to everyone, I am now the leader of the coterie.
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Runescape was what my brother played when he was ten. That makes you ten by association.
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Crytax said:
Very good, McCloud. You win a cookie. AN INTERNET BROWSER COOKIE!
Seems more like cheesecake to me
User
I hope that aaronjer is going to be okay
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buq25 said:
Rockbomb said:
Skrillex is one of the biggest faggots to walk the earth, and is a disgrace to the dubstep genre.
Because everybody knows that if you dislike it, it's bad?
Also it apparently bangs other things that are the same gender as it.
User
buq25 said:
NatureJay said:
What, the superjer name was taken already? Are we going to go on another military campaign?
He must accept you to follow him before you can follow him.
His link is Superjer.net, "Abandoned Strip Mine #5 KEEP OUT", part of Superjer Industries.
Don't think a campaign is necessery, considering we would be fighting to beat un-undead websites.
There is a reason for all of these things!
User
What, the superjer name was taken already? Are we going to go on another military campaign?
User
superjer said:
How is it spelled wrong again?
Nez spelled it Coatery and so half of us hate him for it I think.
superjer said:
And why isn't it on Google+?
I NEED TO DRAG AND DROP
User
This isn't something I discovered recently. Shut up. I discovered this a few months ago while watching Ghost Hound, which isn't as good as it should be because shit falls apart at the end and everyone for some damned reason stops caring about the main storyline.
Mayumi Kojima is like Yoko Kanno if Yoko Kanno sang all the time and if instead of knowing all of American music, she only knew jazz. Also she's real, but hardly anyone knows about her even in Japan and if you do you're pretty much a hipster. I qualify for hipster dual citizenship and you can go to hell.
But first, listen to Poltergeist.
Mayumi Kojima is like Yoko Kanno if Yoko Kanno sang all the time and if instead of knowing all of American music, she only knew jazz. Also she's real, but hardly anyone knows about her even in Japan and if you do you're pretty much a hipster. I qualify for hipster dual citizenship and you can go to hell.
But first, listen to Poltergeist.
Sick vid
User
That's way the fuck out there.
We're planning on going to LittlePendejo Bandera Mountain. It's close-ish and supposed to be a good seven-mile roundtrip and not super steep or anything. Considering that we didn't get to Pilchuck until 2:15 or so the idea of us all getting together to go to Winthrop in time to do anything relevant seems insane.
We're planning on going to Little
User
Supes: Hey, you should take a picture of me next to this stick.
Enjay: Okay...
Supes: I like sticks!
Enjay:
Later he ascended into the aurora borealis!
Enjay: Okay...
Supes: I like sticks!
Enjay:
Later he ascended into the aurora borealis!
User
I have never been so disturbed and hungry in my life.
User
I love the photo of me obviously posing, and Nez looking around like he doesn't understand where he is or what's happening.
Also the Rattlesnake photo of the three of us is fantastic.
Also the Rattlesnake photo of the three of us is fantastic.
User
catpee leak error? Uh.... kidney stones?
User
Sick vid
User
Man, God is sure trying to tell you some pointless bullshit.
Also that metaphor/allegory thing sounds like something that I would do on purpose.
Also that metaphor/allegory thing sounds like something that I would do on purpose.
User
molkman said:
Solution: Don't play dota.
Ha.
Ha.
Buy a Mac
Wait, what are we talking abuot?
User
That's not true, Superjer. Sometimes it snows
User
the_cloud_system said:
who would hike in the rain?
Bunch of assholes, from the looks of it.
User
WE HAVE GONE TO THE LAKE MOUNTAIN LAKE
Enjay's excitement is masked by cold and exhaustion.
aaronjer is quite pleased with himself.
Superjer looks like he's about to sneeze.
Nez is merely bedraggled.
Also this happened.
Enjay's excitement is masked by cold and exhaustion.
aaronjer is quite pleased with himself.
Superjer looks like he's about to sneeze.
Nez is merely bedraggled.
Also this happened.
User
What I remember of the first one was that I couldn't aim up or turn off the sound effects.
Now the second one, I played the hell out of
Now the second one, I played the hell out of
User
Lake Serene is supposed to have a lot of stairs, which should discourage you from trying to run and breaking your ankle or something.
I told you about stairs, bro
I told you about stairs, bro
User
Yeah, we're going to the one up by Index. It's the one that's surrounded by mountains and not houses and suburbia.
User
It's a good thing aaronjer can handle pain because I've heard some people refer to Lake Serene as "The Stairmaster"
At least that means aaronjer won't try to run down it.
At least that means aaronjer won't try to run down it.
User
buq25 said:
Wow, Duke Nukem 3D kicks my ass even on the easiest difficulty setting.
what
User
User
SolidKAYOS said:
You guys been busy?
Not today. aaronjer didn't come and the rest of us found excuses too except for superjer, who went up the mountain
User
No, SuperJer, that hardly looks safe
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User
Yeah, that was kind of unusual. Most of the time if something is dangerous and seems capable of killing me, I'm quite aware of it, and probably trying to avoid it. In this case, I was just trying to destroy them. But they never seemed to be interested in hurting ME, just everyone else around me.
As for the boats, I don't know, but my mental process at the time was thinking "Maybe it was a tsunami or something," which didn't make sense given that they were coming from three different directions and there were no waves. Regardless, boats, rocketing all over the place.
As for the boats, I don't know, but my mental process at the time was thinking "Maybe it was a tsunami or something," which didn't make sense given that they were coming from three different directions and there were no waves. Regardless, boats, rocketing all over the place.
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I have been having really weird and intense dreams about once a month recently but i haven't had time to write them down until now because shut up i'm busy you can go to hell.
---
my mind is playing a reunion show for a popular early 90s drama featuring rich teenagers and their problems. it is ten years later and, on the lam from legal issues, our heroine has fled the beaches of Malibu to live in a secluded cabin with her now dottering parents. she emerges through the front door of the cabin, beleaguered, in a daze. her hair is the color and brittleness of summer straw baled in a late August field. her jeans, which she has torn by hand just before arriving, reveal superficial, bleeding scratches made by her own hands, though she has wiped the blood off her nails. she descibes a terrible accident up at the road, just barely survived. she needs help. her patents, both in recliners, turn to each other and smile. from a nook draped off from the entrance, a man dressed like a butler with a surgical mask emerges carrying a silver tray with a vial of morphine, a tourniquet, and a hypodermic needle. our heroine dashes over to a third recliner in the other adjacent room, a sort of dentist's chair position in front of a television and a gumball machine. the butler rests the silver tray on the endtable and the girl readies the tourniquet with the ease, speed, and precision of someone with a long-term habit. she releases the opioid into her bloodstream and is gone.
just then, there comes a harsh knocking at the wooden door, which is kicked open amidst splinters. it is her old boyfriend, from years and years ago, though since we last saw him he has gained a hundred pounds (if not a couple hundred), a few chins, and several folds. his days as a star quarterback seem like a distant, fevered dream. our heroine's parents exchange nervous glances, still say nothing. the ex-boyfriend, seeing his love-turned nemesis, grabs her by the shoulders and begins shaking her. "YOU DID THIS TO ME!" he says. he refers to another accident, many years ago, that he claims resulted in his weight gain, though we as objective viewers are to understand it to be a glandular problem as the result of a botched cosmetic surgery. he continues to scream at her. he screams so loud that the camera is able to go through his mouth and esophagus and view the contents of his stomach, where we find several packs worth of half-digested cigarettes.
--------------------------------------------------------
the day before the man says that the world is supposed to end, i dream that the rapture has already come and gone, months ago. since then, it's mostly been snow. it's now getting towards May again and as i look outside to the backyard (which now overlooks the stadium of a high school), all i see is a swirl of clouds, as dark at mid-day as the worst storm you've ever seen, no sign of light, just snow. i sip at a mug of something, likely cocoa, and look at the clouds again. there's cruise ship that emerges from the clouds, one of those giant ones the make round-the-world circuits that are several stories tall and capable of going months without seeing port. all of its lights are on and flickering against the haze. it crashes, bearing west, into the ravine of the stadium. moments later, an airplane crashes in the distance, then a tanker. some kind of battleship manages to clear my house just barely and then crash into the stadium at a perpendicular to the cruise ship. the clouds begin to clear a bit, for the first time in months, and figuring i have nothing better to do, i head out to investigate.
around the site, i find a couple, a man with glasses and a blue, plaid shirt and a woman with long dark hair, face down, whom i presume to be his girlfriend. the man is smiling. i reach my hand out to turn him over, but he catches flame, and continues burning until there is nothing left. his girlfriend does the same. maneuvering around the wreckage, i see a japanese man with long hair and a goatee, wearing a leather jacket. he sees me and starts to run, another survivor stumbles into his path and is pushed out of the way, at which point the survivor falls and also burns away into nothing. i don't have any better idea of what's going on than i did before, but i begin to suspect that this man has answers. i chase him up to the house and, lacking other options, find a dish of water that hasn't been frozen over yet and throw it at him. the water hits him and he begins to catch fire, quickly patting out the flames before resuming the run around the house. i manage to find other sources of water, taps, buckets, and within a few short minutes have doused and engulfed him so many times that he's collapsed, sizzling on the lawn, and makes no attempt to get up. i figure that i've either incapacitated or killed him and begin to wonder if the other crashed vessels didn't have something similar going on.
the weather has cleared up and everything is trying to be green again. i walk down into the valley beyond the stadium, past a police station, and find a large hardware store. since the rapture, most people have been looking for ways to busy themselves, or at least keep themselves from dying pitiful deaths, so home improvement has been a big thing to do. people have to do something. i follow certain instincts and head inside. behind the counter is a man in the clothes of a cop, but they don't quite fit him. he is tall, lean, has a shaved head. he talks to another man, heavyset and in his late 50s, also wearing a uniform. a third man, who resembles the fire man i found at the cruise ship closely enough to be an older brother, stands beside them, his hand folded behind his back. they talk secretively, the younger cop seems to complain of some awkwardness in their arrival. i begin to suspect them. the asian man looks at me and then puts his hand out to grab the shoulder of a passing customer, who like every other person these men have touched to this point, smiles and then burns.
the tactic is either one of intimidation or diversion, but the younger man seems confused by the proceedings, and stays put while the other two scramble away. i grab a bottle of water from a counter nearby, unscrew it, and toss it at the stationary man, but he is nothing more than soaked. water isn't going to work on this one. i try fire and cobble together something out of paint thinner and some sparks from a wiring cable i've torn off the wall. that works, and the man is incapacitated.
i check behind me and see the older, burly man. thwoing the cable at him produces no effect, and he picks up a nearby customer, who has the same fate befall him as every other, and throws the customer at me. it seems that they're just trying to rile me up now by causing as many casualties as they can. i manage to knock a barrel off the shelf onto the burly man, but he's only stunned momentarily and moves on. the two remaining men move to exit, and i see the first man, the hydrophobic one, join them at the automatic door. he seems to have recovered.
i conclude that they are feeding on the humans nearby and one had to have bumped into him. they leave and i figure myself to be in for a long day, but i'm able to conclude very little else. i don't know, for example, what these men are or why they are here, but i remember hearing reports of other parts of the world winking out of existence these past months. i also don't know what motivates them, or why everyone seems to be smiling as they turn to cinders. i don't know if they are good or evil, only that i'm trying to stop them.
---
my mind is playing a reunion show for a popular early 90s drama featuring rich teenagers and their problems. it is ten years later and, on the lam from legal issues, our heroine has fled the beaches of Malibu to live in a secluded cabin with her now dottering parents. she emerges through the front door of the cabin, beleaguered, in a daze. her hair is the color and brittleness of summer straw baled in a late August field. her jeans, which she has torn by hand just before arriving, reveal superficial, bleeding scratches made by her own hands, though she has wiped the blood off her nails. she descibes a terrible accident up at the road, just barely survived. she needs help. her patents, both in recliners, turn to each other and smile. from a nook draped off from the entrance, a man dressed like a butler with a surgical mask emerges carrying a silver tray with a vial of morphine, a tourniquet, and a hypodermic needle. our heroine dashes over to a third recliner in the other adjacent room, a sort of dentist's chair position in front of a television and a gumball machine. the butler rests the silver tray on the endtable and the girl readies the tourniquet with the ease, speed, and precision of someone with a long-term habit. she releases the opioid into her bloodstream and is gone.
just then, there comes a harsh knocking at the wooden door, which is kicked open amidst splinters. it is her old boyfriend, from years and years ago, though since we last saw him he has gained a hundred pounds (if not a couple hundred), a few chins, and several folds. his days as a star quarterback seem like a distant, fevered dream. our heroine's parents exchange nervous glances, still say nothing. the ex-boyfriend, seeing his love-turned nemesis, grabs her by the shoulders and begins shaking her. "YOU DID THIS TO ME!" he says. he refers to another accident, many years ago, that he claims resulted in his weight gain, though we as objective viewers are to understand it to be a glandular problem as the result of a botched cosmetic surgery. he continues to scream at her. he screams so loud that the camera is able to go through his mouth and esophagus and view the contents of his stomach, where we find several packs worth of half-digested cigarettes.
--------------------------------------------------------
the day before the man says that the world is supposed to end, i dream that the rapture has already come and gone, months ago. since then, it's mostly been snow. it's now getting towards May again and as i look outside to the backyard (which now overlooks the stadium of a high school), all i see is a swirl of clouds, as dark at mid-day as the worst storm you've ever seen, no sign of light, just snow. i sip at a mug of something, likely cocoa, and look at the clouds again. there's cruise ship that emerges from the clouds, one of those giant ones the make round-the-world circuits that are several stories tall and capable of going months without seeing port. all of its lights are on and flickering against the haze. it crashes, bearing west, into the ravine of the stadium. moments later, an airplane crashes in the distance, then a tanker. some kind of battleship manages to clear my house just barely and then crash into the stadium at a perpendicular to the cruise ship. the clouds begin to clear a bit, for the first time in months, and figuring i have nothing better to do, i head out to investigate.
around the site, i find a couple, a man with glasses and a blue, plaid shirt and a woman with long dark hair, face down, whom i presume to be his girlfriend. the man is smiling. i reach my hand out to turn him over, but he catches flame, and continues burning until there is nothing left. his girlfriend does the same. maneuvering around the wreckage, i see a japanese man with long hair and a goatee, wearing a leather jacket. he sees me and starts to run, another survivor stumbles into his path and is pushed out of the way, at which point the survivor falls and also burns away into nothing. i don't have any better idea of what's going on than i did before, but i begin to suspect that this man has answers. i chase him up to the house and, lacking other options, find a dish of water that hasn't been frozen over yet and throw it at him. the water hits him and he begins to catch fire, quickly patting out the flames before resuming the run around the house. i manage to find other sources of water, taps, buckets, and within a few short minutes have doused and engulfed him so many times that he's collapsed, sizzling on the lawn, and makes no attempt to get up. i figure that i've either incapacitated or killed him and begin to wonder if the other crashed vessels didn't have something similar going on.
the weather has cleared up and everything is trying to be green again. i walk down into the valley beyond the stadium, past a police station, and find a large hardware store. since the rapture, most people have been looking for ways to busy themselves, or at least keep themselves from dying pitiful deaths, so home improvement has been a big thing to do. people have to do something. i follow certain instincts and head inside. behind the counter is a man in the clothes of a cop, but they don't quite fit him. he is tall, lean, has a shaved head. he talks to another man, heavyset and in his late 50s, also wearing a uniform. a third man, who resembles the fire man i found at the cruise ship closely enough to be an older brother, stands beside them, his hand folded behind his back. they talk secretively, the younger cop seems to complain of some awkwardness in their arrival. i begin to suspect them. the asian man looks at me and then puts his hand out to grab the shoulder of a passing customer, who like every other person these men have touched to this point, smiles and then burns.
the tactic is either one of intimidation or diversion, but the younger man seems confused by the proceedings, and stays put while the other two scramble away. i grab a bottle of water from a counter nearby, unscrew it, and toss it at the stationary man, but he is nothing more than soaked. water isn't going to work on this one. i try fire and cobble together something out of paint thinner and some sparks from a wiring cable i've torn off the wall. that works, and the man is incapacitated.
i check behind me and see the older, burly man. thwoing the cable at him produces no effect, and he picks up a nearby customer, who has the same fate befall him as every other, and throws the customer at me. it seems that they're just trying to rile me up now by causing as many casualties as they can. i manage to knock a barrel off the shelf onto the burly man, but he's only stunned momentarily and moves on. the two remaining men move to exit, and i see the first man, the hydrophobic one, join them at the automatic door. he seems to have recovered.
i conclude that they are feeding on the humans nearby and one had to have bumped into him. they leave and i figure myself to be in for a long day, but i'm able to conclude very little else. i don't know, for example, what these men are or why they are here, but i remember hearing reports of other parts of the world winking out of existence these past months. i also don't know what motivates them, or why everyone seems to be smiling as they turn to cinders. i don't know if they are good or evil, only that i'm trying to stop them.
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molkman said:
I wonder who that is.
It's the leader of the zombies, come this fall.
User
SASQUATCH
Oh wait, that's Subadar. Sorry Subadar.
Oh wait, that's Subadar. Sorry Subadar.
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MikeJer isn't dead. I mean, his insides may have undergone necrosis or something, but I'm pretty sure he's just living with his parents again.
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aaronjer said:
Are the bees okay?
I don't think they're sleeping, and they look too tired to go to the farm where they can buzz around all day forever and ever
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I was trying to explain this to everyone when we were in the car the other day but goddamnit it needs visuals.
Tonight we are having Roast Bee
Tonight we are having Roast Bee
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Rockbomb said:
You know what I like doing? I'll go around calling all of my white friends cracka, and then the second someone that isn't white calls me cracka, I get all like "Woah wtf man, you can't say that. Us white folk can say it to each other, but that's different."
It doesn't happen very often, but when it does, it's epic.
It doesn't happen very often, but when it does, it's epic.
We prefer the term "honkey."
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WHEN ARE WE GOING TO GET THERE
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The most important thing to do in superjer's maps is to fuck around as hard as you possibly will and then ninja drop someone.
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superjer said:
sprinkles said:
Do you suspect the server will still be up in 7 months?
I'll make sure of it. Just for you.
If you're not back in time it'll self-destruct
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Or maybe I knew that and did the other thing on purpose to be an idiot.
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Rockbomb said:
NatureJay said:
aaronjer said:
If this turns into a quote chain everyone is banned. Everyone.
Well, I hate everyone here so that sounds like a challenge.
Hey, don't make quote chains, I don't feel like being banned again.
I might feel like getting banned and getting everyone else here banned. What do you say to that?!?
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aaronjer said:
If this turns into a quote chain everyone is banned. Everyone.
Well, I hate everyone here so that sounds like a challenge.
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I have realized that references to Ratatat were made without posting their crowning achievement.
Sick vid
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When ya gonna re-home the server, supes?
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Some hardcore is all right (Like Refused!) but a bunch of screaming and crunchy guitars isn't for everyone I suppose. I like it in limited quantities. Hardcore did kind of create that weird post-rock shoot around the early part of the 1990s and it kind of makes sense if you listen to the very early bands in the set like Slint. But there were other contributors to the phenomenon that didn't really have much to do with rock in the first place.
That title just seems like something Mogwai would do based off of some of the other song titles I've seen. I'll need to give the album itself another few listens. It's better than The Hawk is Howling, but I don't think I'd put it in the same category as Young Team, Mr. Beast, or Happy Songs for Happy People.
That title just seems like something Mogwai would do based off of some of the other song titles I've seen. I'll need to give the album itself another few listens. It's better than The Hawk is Howling, but I don't think I'd put it in the same category as Young Team, Mr. Beast, or Happy Songs for Happy People.
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Rattat? Jeez, welcome to five years ago.
I listened to the new Mogwai album today and I'm pretty sure it's better than their previous one.
Speaking of Mogwai, DR, what can you tell us of the Glasgow Mega-Snake? How afraid should we be?
I listened to the new Mogwai album today and I'm pretty sure it's better than their previous one.
Speaking of Mogwai, DR, what can you tell us of the Glasgow Mega-Snake? How afraid should we be?
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Mate de Vita said:
aaronjer said:
Do a barrel roll.
This.
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basically
Sick vid
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The underwater palace was easy, and just a little time consuming, because you had to make all the glass, then dive, place the glass, build a cap, then mine out all the water. Nez and I were working on it together (or he placed all the glass at least) and it probably took us an hour? Probably the worst part was connecting the tunnel to the rest of the base because we ran out of torches and skeletons got into it for a while and then if I remember correctly I dug up into some sand and got myself killt.
Diamond takes some level of spelunking ability because you usually stumble into it in caverns where there's lots of lava and you're near the bottom of the world. It's only down there and you can dig in those areas a lot without ever seeing any of it.
Iron you should just be stumbling on all the time while you're exploring caverns, or at least that's how I get mine (HA) along with the gold and the abundant coal and redstone which I never actually use.
I take it you haven't yet found our monster farming devices?
Diamond takes some level of spelunking ability because you usually stumble into it in caverns where there's lots of lava and you're near the bottom of the world. It's only down there and you can dig in those areas a lot without ever seeing any of it.
Iron you should just be stumbling on all the time while you're exploring caverns, or at least that's how I get mine (HA) along with the gold and the abundant coal and redstone which I never actually use.
I take it you haven't yet found our monster farming devices?
User
You have to understand that there was a LAN party in which most of us were playing it for three or four days with limited interruption. If you follow the enormous highway you can even come up to Commie's box castle which was built over the course of several days and is mighty, though uninteresting.
Anyway, things are always going to seem more impressive when you have about four to seven people all working on the same thing at once.
Anyway, things are always going to seem more impressive when you have about four to seven people all working on the same thing at once.
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I GIVE YOU THE PERPETUAL KITTEN MACHINE
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I loled a couple of times but now when I see things like that I just want to watch Rejected instead.
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You should do what everyone else does with their grant money and hire an asian grad student to do all your work for you.
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Still mad at Steelers from Super Bowl XL, or I would be, if I gave a goddamn about football.
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SPIDAH
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Rockbomb said:
And lol, Nintendo cereal? Imma have to look that up
Boy howdy.
Sick vid
SPOILERS: IT TASTED HORRIBLE
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they're amusing. They also make pages load slower. Let's share and be friends. But not too much sharing and not too friendly.
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It seemed like later attempts made the game more like a bad version of Age of Wonders. But the reduction of features and functionality was the worst part. Going from nine towns to like... five? And some of them didn't even really make sense, like why were the demons and the necromancers shacking up? And why the hell would building one type of unit preclude me from building another? I want options, damnit. Also the whole 2d 3d thing you said because pretty things are important.
Anyway, Minecraft is also a game that you play on a computer.
Anyway, Minecraft is also a game that you play on a computer.
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They used to have a cereal that was shaped like miniature cinnamon rolls which to my sugar-loaded palate was quite tasty in the day. Also Surge, and Ecto Cooler Hi-C, and Mountain Dew Code Red but mostly because of the song.
Thing I don't miss: Nintendo cereal. What the fuck?
Thing I don't miss: Nintendo cereal. What the fuck?
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Definitely not.
It did make me want to play Heroes 3 again though. I wish I knew why that was the only good game they made in the series.
It did make me want to play Heroes 3 again though. I wish I knew why that was the only good game they made in the series.
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Sick vid
MINECRAFT PREDATOR FEATURING HEROES 3 MUSIC
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Right, that's kind of my point. Java is a resource hog and is designed to do anything but what he's having it do. If he'd programmed it in a more sensible language, it probably wouldn't be as prone to overheating laptops as it is at present.
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Minecraft overheats my laptop too. Fortunately I have an external fan. I learned certain lessons the hard way. But Civ4 and Starcraft II, those make sense as laptop overheating programs. Minecraft?
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Down Rodeo said:
The spell was broken when the laptop overheated, or something.
Down Rodeo said:
I mean, Java's not great, but it's available pretty much everywhere and the requirements are still fairly low.
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Call us back when he hasn't gone outside in a few days.
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As I was saying to supes the other day, Notch is all about the best possible ideas and the worst possible execution.
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I don't know if I qualify. I didn't play it when I knew I didn't have time to play it, but when the LAN party came around and people said LET'S PLAY MINECRAFT, I did.
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Some of you may not understand the significance of discovering an sbanth mining facility, so I'll elaborate.
Minecraft is a game that lends itself to multiple playing styles, but in general, the game encourages building on a massive scale. Commie builds giant castles that aren't that interesting to look at but are still enormous. Crytax builds highways from one place to the next that are too large and of such a quality of material as to be kind of mind-numbing. aaronjer tends to build giant naked pictures of Zelda along with one or more Cloud Lodge Cumuli and Nezumi spends most of his time building elaborate redstone mechanisms or stuffing TNT into where it clearly doesn't belong. Superjer, at least recently, has been building monster traps and a large railway system. For my own part, I just build staircases, or bridges, or mineshafts that aren't that interesting unless I end up inspired somehow.
sbanth doesn't build anything, except for that one fishing lodge which you aren't allowed to litter in. sbanth just digs. Digging is the only thing sbanth does. There are almost never any torches, never any caverns that seem to open up, no directions are posted, and the shafts are never more than a block wide. sbanth mining operations continue until lava is reached, at which point sbanth dies, and then spends several hours trying to retrieve a corpse, only managing to create more and more corpses until eventually he gives up and starts doing something different.
So, you can see how clearly important this discovery is.
Minecraft is a game that lends itself to multiple playing styles, but in general, the game encourages building on a massive scale. Commie builds giant castles that aren't that interesting to look at but are still enormous. Crytax builds highways from one place to the next that are too large and of such a quality of material as to be kind of mind-numbing. aaronjer tends to build giant naked pictures of Zelda along with one or more Cloud Lodge Cumuli and Nezumi spends most of his time building elaborate redstone mechanisms or stuffing TNT into where it clearly doesn't belong. Superjer, at least recently, has been building monster traps and a large railway system. For my own part, I just build staircases, or bridges, or mineshafts that aren't that interesting unless I end up inspired somehow.
sbanth doesn't build anything, except for that one fishing lodge which you aren't allowed to litter in. sbanth just digs. Digging is the only thing sbanth does. There are almost never any torches, never any caverns that seem to open up, no directions are posted, and the shafts are never more than a block wide. sbanth mining operations continue until lava is reached, at which point sbanth dies, and then spends several hours trying to retrieve a corpse, only managing to create more and more corpses until eventually he gives up and starts doing something different.
So, you can see how clearly important this discovery is.
User
I'm going to have to confer with superjer on this (he built this thing, I just ran around and got supplies), but I know of a place near my secondary base where we could build a spider processing plant. It kind of sucks that we can't seem to find a skeleton dungeon.
Edit: I have now discovered that the zombie processing plant is a stone's throw from the secret sbanth lava mines.
Edit: I have now discovered that the zombie processing plant is a stone's throw from the secret sbanth lava mines.
User
close!
this is our zombie processing plant. it's adjacent to a dungeon. zombies spawn and then they fall into the water and get pushed up against the glass where they drown and the loot channels to the chamber below
this is our zombie processing plant. it's adjacent to a dungeon. zombies spawn and then they fall into the water and get pushed up against the glass where they drown and the loot channels to the chamber below
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superjer and i have such plans
i seriously cannot even describe to you how loud it is over here
i seriously cannot even describe to you how loud it is over here
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No shit. It seemed like for a time they were all just going out of their way to come up with an earlier and more complicated origin story. Now you play as embryonic Link. You'll get a sword in the final hour of gameplay. Divide those cells, bitches.
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Maine is the northeastern most state. You seemed to slip up on some of the New England ones.
New Jersey isn't a state so much as a breeding ground for horrible people. There are a few exceptions which are actually human beings, but it's not common.
New Jersey isn't a state so much as a breeding ground for horrible people. There are a few exceptions which are actually human beings, but it's not common.
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It's also fucking annoying that nothing is really permanent in the game which means that any time you'd have to complete a dungeon again if you wanted to reap the world changing effects of it. I quit shortly after playing through the first dungeon when I realized that.
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If you're responding to me, the weird part for me, aside from the gratuitous violence and the music, is the fact that each of the voices becomes distorted towards the end of the scream.
If you're responding to Cloudy, it was the 80s and people did a lot of cocaine.
If you're responding to Cloudy, it was the 80s and people did a lot of cocaine.
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buq25 said:
Then there's lovely Merryland...
BODYMORE, MURDERLAND
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Zelda isn't an RPG, it's just kind of a swing your sword at things and crawl through dungeons while controlling one character thing. Action-adventure for lack of a better word.
I like Metal Slug 2 better in part because it's harder.
I like Metal Slug 2 better in part because it's harder.
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Nobody knows about Wyoming. Or New Hampshire. Or Vermont. Or Rhode Island. Or Delaware. Or Maine.
And New Jersey? Well, most people would just prefer that they blew up or something. Only Japanese people know about Hawai'i. People who know about Maryland generally murder other people.
And New Jersey? Well, most people would just prefer that they blew up or something. Only Japanese people know about Hawai'i. People who know about Maryland generally murder other people.
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more like five minutes of people getting mutilated horribly while trippy music plays
Sick vid
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Strangely enough, that seems like one of the more sane things to happen in an Earthworm Jim game. Nothing like bungee jumping with a military man made of snot, or chasing a cat through hell, or running across bacon strips in avoidance of giant enemy salt shakers, or answering game show questions asked by a severed head in the midst of a trip through intestinal villi as a blind cave salamander.
User
One of the things you'd want to consider is that you'd want games that were actually more fun to play with a controller than to emulate. For example, I don't see much that would be gained by having a controller when playing 90% of RPGs, so throw those out the window right now, Secret of Mana and Super Mario RPG excluded. GET THOSE. (play Earthbound too, but without a controller)
The game that should be number one on your list for reasons to obvious to articulate is River City Ransom which is indisputably mankind's crowning achievement. Close behind that would be Legend of the Mystical Ninja and Kirby Super Star.
* You've already got Super Metroid, so that's good.
* If you feel like blowing a thousand points, I recommend Mega Man 9 and Mega Man 10, 9 probably moreso than 10, but that's kind of if you're feeling old school. For the standard, cheaper Mega Man games, 2 or 3.
* Any of the pre-N64 Zelda games would be solid picks, as would Super Mario 3. NINTENDO
* aaronjer would yell at me if I didn't also mention Streets of Rage 2, which is the best standard, side-scrolling beat 'em up ever created and something we can both play for days on end.
* Metal Slug 2 was a great arcade game, though I don't know how it would function on Virtual Console.
* ActRaiser had a weird blend of platforming and simulation but I don't think it's something that has to be played with a controller.
* Balloon Fight is great fun for old arcade stuff.
* Castlevania is a platform standard bearer, and I'd recommend 3 or Rondo of Blood but both are quite hard. Same goes for Ninja Gaiden, the first game being the hardest and the others being somewhat easy. Vectorman is also worth a look though I'm the only person that ever knew about it (because I had a Genesis!).
* If you never played the Earthworm Jim games, do so, just be warned that they can be deceptively hard for how goofy they are.
* Donkey Kong Country is also a great series and one that's going to keep you occupied for hours.
The game that should be number one on your list for reasons to obvious to articulate is River City Ransom which is indisputably mankind's crowning achievement. Close behind that would be Legend of the Mystical Ninja and Kirby Super Star.
* You've already got Super Metroid, so that's good.
* If you feel like blowing a thousand points, I recommend Mega Man 9 and Mega Man 10, 9 probably moreso than 10, but that's kind of if you're feeling old school. For the standard, cheaper Mega Man games, 2 or 3.
* Any of the pre-N64 Zelda games would be solid picks, as would Super Mario 3. NINTENDO
* aaronjer would yell at me if I didn't also mention Streets of Rage 2, which is the best standard, side-scrolling beat 'em up ever created and something we can both play for days on end.
* Metal Slug 2 was a great arcade game, though I don't know how it would function on Virtual Console.
* ActRaiser had a weird blend of platforming and simulation but I don't think it's something that has to be played with a controller.
* Balloon Fight is great fun for old arcade stuff.
* Castlevania is a platform standard bearer, and I'd recommend 3 or Rondo of Blood but both are quite hard. Same goes for Ninja Gaiden, the first game being the hardest and the others being somewhat easy. Vectorman is also worth a look though I'm the only person that ever knew about it (because I had a Genesis!).
* If you never played the Earthworm Jim games, do so, just be warned that they can be deceptively hard for how goofy they are.
* Donkey Kong Country is also a great series and one that's going to keep you occupied for hours.
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Correct. It's nowhere near as cold in NYC though. Today it's going to be 2° C as a high and -3 C° as a low (35° F, 26° F). It's supposed to snow on Sunday and Monday and I hope that doesn't end up grounding my flight because the airport is retarded.
Latitude is just weird to think about. Seattle is the same latitude roughly as Zurich and Budapest, and a good part of Europe is above that. Or another weird thing to think about: Cairo is on the same latitude as Mobile, Alabama.
Latitude is just weird to think about. Seattle is the same latitude roughly as Zurich and Budapest, and a good part of Europe is above that. Or another weird thing to think about: Cairo is on the same latitude as Mobile, Alabama.
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I am disappointed to report that it is far too cold at the moment for me to do one of the main things I came to New York to do, which is stand on the arms of the Williamsburg Bridge crying "hey man, well this is Babylon."
It seems that I will have to return to New York in May in order to complete this task of utmost importance.
It seems that I will have to return to New York in May in order to complete this task of utmost importance.
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I know! It's good stuff. You probably wouldn't have this happen, but you know what it's also really good with? Leftover Indian food.
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I've been here for four years, eight months, and twenty-three days. AMAZING. CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT COINCIDENCE
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SolidKAYOS said:
I dont understand...
Awww, I was counting on you to explain it to me.
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How the fuck did this post last two weeks without an ICP reference?
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A number of the other posters here are just superjers from alternate dimensions/timelines. Some of them even have real beards.
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aaronjer said:
No after birth. No mess. It's the logical choice.
In British cuisine, afterbirth is usually fried up with eggs and vegetables in the morning for breakfast.
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Down Rodeo said:
I cannot deal with two years, because that's a lot of years, in no small way. I'm no longer making sense.
Are you wearing a giant grey suit? If so, then David Byrne would like to have a word.
User
Also the fact that, thanks to Havok, most of our successful search terms inevitably lead to tits.
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It retains the juices better that way, it's just common sense.
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Sloth's icon is but one of the many reasons I cannot visit this site in public.
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aaronjer said:
Awesome! Can I use them as an emergency food supply after you leave?
You'd better be planning on having an emergency pretty soon. I don't wanna have to pay child support.
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the_cloud_system said:
start balling tears?
so long as we don't start tearing balls
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aaronjer said:
BUT FOR HOW LONG. FOR HOW LONG, ENJAY.
Like nine months or something. Enough to make babies, see them to term, and then run out on them.
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That would explain an awful lot.
I, however, will explain nothing.
I, however, will explain nothing.
User
It's weird because I've met Israeli girls at my school who are quiet, and unassuming, and they don't curse or drink or smoke or anything like that and when you ask them what they did before coming to the school they're always like "oh yeah I was in the army".
But like I said, I think it means different things than it does here.
But like I said, I think it means different things than it does here.
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aaronjer said:
It reminds me of how you grace us with your presence only temporarily, Enjay. You don't understand how much we miss you. If you did understand you'd leave a sizable piece of yourself behind for us to prostrate ourselves before.
I, unlike eDan, will be back in less than two weeks.
User
Oh hell yeah!
Edit: It doesn't work :(
Edit: It doesn't work :(
User
If fedex can do it it's likely that a one of those wooden fake spoon things that they package with single-serve applesauces can do it?
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eDanson has come back to us but only for a little while.
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eDan Co. said:
Down Rodeo said:
I mean, is there even going to be an eternity? I also think you'd find it hard to write down a book describing the universe. There's not enough paper to write down a googolplex, even!
Especially since the book describing the universe is part of the universe which it is describing.
I keep telling you guys, it's an aleph, and a zahir, and they store in in the library of babel.
User
Getting drafted is just something that happens when you live in Israel. They have mandatory military service. A lot of people don't end up in actual military work though.
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eDan Co. said:
My brother has a goatee and he's Mexican.
I have known of this happening. There was one of my friend's roommates that was like this. He's a Jew, but with the goatee? Totally looked like a Mexican.
User
It happens to me all the time because I'm twice and as many as three or four times better than the rest of you.
uh, it's a glitch. If you refresh the window it usually culls the duplicate entries.
uh, it's a glitch. If you refresh the window it usually culls the duplicate entries.
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Mate de Vita said:
________
...and that's the bottom line because Mate de Vita said so.
...and that's the bottom line because Mate de Vita said so.
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Points:
* SRAW understands but one of the three natures of tangent.
* You spelled 'masturbation' wrong. Remember, there is no masturbation without 'u'.
* Small Change is probably the best of the thematic trilogy of Small Change, Foreign Affairs, and Blue Valentine, so good choice there.
* SRAW understands but one of the three natures of tangent.
* You spelled 'masturbation' wrong. Remember, there is no masturbation without 'u'.
* Small Change is probably the best of the thematic trilogy of Small Change, Foreign Affairs, and Blue Valentine, so good choice there.
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You don't get anything more out of it by understanding. There's no point. It's just Japan.
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phoenix_r said:
fedex _ said:
Unparalleled ergonomics.
These ergonomics are completely perpendicular!
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Superjer doesn't live under the bed. He lives in the bushes outside of aaronjer's house, tricking unsuspecting passers-by.
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phoenix_r said:
Mate de Vita said:
And you actually know anyone on this forum?
I went to high school with Aaronjer, Superjer, Mikejer, and some other assholes. </scene_cred>
I went to jr. high school with aaronjer and Nez. Nez went to one year of elementary school with aaronjer though. I guess he's better than me.
fedex _ said:
Down Rodeo said:
I miss days, sometimes. Though not often.
Isn't this like your third trade thread? How did the others go for you?
Isn't this like your third trade thread? How did the others go for you?
YES but they all failed
NEED ZON PLZ
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Rockbomb said:
Also, you should look more into the Air Force... despite the general attitude that they all sit in a chair behind computers, they actually have a lot of jobs that are very physically demanding (para-rescue, for example).
CHAIR FORCE
I've known various people to come out of various branches of the military and I get the impression that cloudy is more concerned with tuition than he is about job level excitement. Coast guard may not be a bad bet as most of the people I've met from there are still reasonably sane.
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cloud_the_system said:
SolidKAYOS said:
It wont get passed. It's America bitch.
leanr proper garammar before you insult people like me!
You are one of my favorite people <3
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sprinkles said:
Superjer has a vent?
How else do you think he stays so cool? Haha... ha... just kidding, friends, the vent has to do with suction. Superjer sucks.
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superjer said:
superjer said:
superjer said:
So were there working smoke detectors in the house? Either way it sounds like got really lucky. I'm going to have to make you a fire-survivor medal or something.
Remember -- next time the power company tries to kill you, just call Sprinkles. He'll save your family and your pets.
Remember -- next time the power company tries to kill you, just call Sprinkles. He'll save your family and your pets.
User
Wow. Not much else I can say. It'll suck for them in the interim but hey, everyone survive and 50% more house. I hope they didn't lose anything that can't really be replaced.
User
Dizzamn. Any cause yet? I hope it wasn't an electrical fire because really, that would be too much.
User
I think at one point Havok started talking about his post count and how high it was and then aaronjer gave him a negative number of posts. I'm not on board with such behavior. It would prefer that he lose one each time he posts something new, and that it would continue to subtract until an arbitrary number of posts had past and then it would flip back to positive again. Then the cycle would repeat.
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GOD DAMNIT NEZ, I mean you had the diagrammajanz up and everything
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I'm now just going to assume that all possessives are contractions of is.
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That entrance better be facing west or I'm going to have to take his bitch ass to school when I get back. IN THE CAR OF PAIN.
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Troll the troll
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Down Rodeo said:
SRAW said:
You're a noob if you go around correcting people's grammar on the internet
Out of interest, how is that the case?
Denial of Eternal September?
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I found this bitch and then I got all up in this bitch and then I said "hey this bitch ain't as tricky as I thought"
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Explosions in the Sky is definitely an awesome band. Their latest album (jeez, three years ago now) was their best work yet. Mogwai is also fantastic, particularly Happy Songs for Happy People and Mr. Beast. I've been trying to get into Mono too, but I don't know, there seems to be something missing from their work for me.
I'm a double major in Creative Writing and English/Comparative Literature and have no expectation of making any amount of money on it ever.
I'm a double major in Creative Writing and English/Comparative Literature and have no expectation of making any amount of money on it ever.
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SRAW said:
I don't even know what band you guys are talking about, but for all intents and purposes, metallica are way better than them.
You would be a more successful troll if you were in any way interesting. Of course, since you're trying to troll and just being boring, that works in its own meta way too.
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sprinkles said:
Its literally at the end of the page...
Yeah I worked around it by changing the search parameters. No worries.
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That image was real bad. It had to be censored.
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I should probably give Wilco another shot one of these days. I listened to A Ghost is Born a few times but kind of got bored by it except towards then end when they were doing the Sonic Youth "and now we will play this guitar with a garden rake" thing.
I like Radiohead plenty, I'm just not of the opinion that some people are that they are the Jesus band.
I like Radiohead plenty, I'm just not of the opinion that some people are that they are the Jesus band.
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Down Rodeo said:
I am become mainstream!
I am become death, the shatterer of worlds.
Uh... Listen to a shorter track like "Moya"? It's one of their better tunes in my opinion. I think that's on Slow Riot for New Zero Kanada.
I listen to a lot of instrumental post rock stuff because I need music while I'm studying and lyrics become too distracting. This way I can focus on what I'm doing while still having another part of my brain doing something else.
I'm not really a music junkie or anything relative to some people I know, I just don't generally pay attention to the mainstream unless some band that I've been listening to for ages somehow makes it big. There are a few exceptions though, like Radiohead and David Bowie and such.
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I was trying to find the picture Zaraboostra posted a few years back of the pumpkin ripping apart the other pumpkins so I searched for Halloween. Guess what I got? More fucking tits. Honestly.
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SOVJETS!
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molkman said:
NatureJay said:
that had gone down in the Montreal music scene for the previous ten years
So what's cool shizzle from Montreal in your opinion?
I used to know more bands back in the day but they had Godspeed You! Black Emperor in there before they went on indefinite hiatus. Longer works (we're talking 10-25 minutes in most cases), few lyrics with occasional clips of dialogue, but you can see an instrumental foundation for what The Arcade Fire ended up doing, it's just that The Arcade Fire took it from "post-rock" back to "rock" again if not pop. Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas to Heaven is regarded as their seminal work. There were also various side bands that sprung from that like Set Fire to Flames (more electronic) and A Silver Mt. Zion (sometimes known as Thee Silver Mt. Zion Memorial Orchestra and Tra-la-la Band), and the latter has a few amazing early albums like He Has Left Us Alone But Shafts of Light Sometimes Grace the Corners of Our Rooms and Born Into Trouble As the Sparks Fly Upward, both of which I think are quality. They kind of lost it after that because the chief lyricist can't really sing and his lyrics tread fairly similar political themes and it becomes a little trite after a while. Overall, they're pretty similar to Godspeed You! Black Emperor, so if one appeals, the other will probably as well so long as you don't look at anything after 2003 or so.
The more rock oriented outfits also had their merits. Broken Social Scene was kind of an indie darling for a while and I think that for more poppy music they do a damned fine job, though they're technically out of Toronto. They're sort of a megagroup in a weird underground way, so you had Feist and like ten thousand other indie rockers who were heavily involved in that scene who make appearances. You Forgot in People is probably their best album, followed by the self-titled one. They're not necessarily my cup of tea because they're a touch too pop for my sensibilities, but they're not bad. The Dears is another more rock-oriented band that came out of that environment, but I sort of stopped following them for whatever reason several years back (may look them again up soon). No Cities Left was the only album of there I remember listening to at any length, but they were also one of those weird groups that was around in the local scene forever before they got around to recording a wide-release album. I heard Gang of Losers was also good. Subdued, morose orchestral rock (Smiths/Morrisey influenced) for lack of a better term.
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I've come to the conclusions over the past week or so that under no circumstances can I ever visit this forum in a public setting.
also cheer the fuck up rockbomb.
also cheer the fuck up rockbomb.
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As ever, aaronjer knows exactly what I meant to say
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This is horrible. Horrible.
Also I don't think video #2 fully understood the humor involved in video #1. But I also suspect that most people responding to videos with videos are generally retarded.
Also I don't think video #2 fully understood the humor involved in video #1. But I also suspect that most people responding to videos with videos are generally retarded.
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I've listened to more of The Arcade Fire than you have listened to ICP, so that puts me on the high ground, which puts you on the low ground, munching rugs.
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I probably shouldn't submit an opinion because I haven't listened to The Suburbs, but Funeral was the album that finally taught me to disregard hype when purchasing music. It was the four-minute ditty distillation of everything that had gone down in the Montreal music scene for the previous ten years and I found the lyrics cloying in a way that glorified an impossible naivety, and that doesn't really gibe with my sensibilities. On top of that, there was a long span where I couldn't get into my car and turn on the radio without hearing something from Funeral.
So it's a combination of educated distaste and overexposure and that's probably how I'll respond to the band for the rest of their life, for better or worse.
So it's a combination of educated distaste and overexposure and that's probably how I'll respond to the band for the rest of their life, for better or worse.
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Goddanmit make up your mind.
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aaronjer said:
I'd rather not know something that might result in me enjoying their music less. Call me blissfully ignorant.
No, the irony of this decision is not lost on me.
No, the irony of this decision is not lost on me.
Fucking miracles man.
molkman said:
Down Rodeo said:
Everyone should listen to The Suburbs by Arcade Fire, it's awesome.
That is super true DR, it is in fact really awesome.
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the_cloud_system said:
can i make a yellow sun in the east then?
Only if you make a red sun in the west.
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When I start playing, I will turn around, and I will call it south, and from that point on it shall be called Magnetic South even though it has nothing to do with magnets.
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I had to search forever for that shit. Fucking Xerxes found one on our border and put a fort and a rifleman on it.
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iTunes is till worst than most things that are known and plenty more that are unknown.
I prefer the Zune interface, but I wouldn't use it as a player because it does seem to use a bit of resources.
I prefer the Zune interface, but I wouldn't use it as a player because it does seem to use a bit of resources.
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Mate de Vita said:
How do you misspell 'very' but spell 'vague' and 'interesting' correctly?
It's like you've never read one of his posts before.
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It's possible that the only people I've ever heard pronounce it are entirely off base, but I think one thing is clear: Majorca is a place where both people and consistent rules of spelling go on vacation.
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(sigh) Just go to hell.
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Mate de Vita said:
@Enjay, curiously enough like half of the European languages spells it with L (or double L in some cases), the other half with a J.
Weird. Any pattern to that? Here in a Americaland, I've usually only ever seen it with the J, but that's also led assorted people I've encountered to pronounce it with a hard j-sound when it's really more of a y to English speakers (something like "My Orca"
).
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It's east of Spain and I've usually seen it spelled Majorca.
And since you asked, I do not now, nor will I ever in the future, have any idea who you are.
And since you asked, I do not now, nor will I ever in the future, have any idea who you are.
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Step 1: Found religion
Step 2: Non-stop fucking
Step 3: Profit
Step 2: Non-stop fucking
Step 3: Profit
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No, don't do that, there will only be more of them
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aaronjer said:
Hint: Know what the units are.
UNIT!
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superjer said:
Down Rodeo said:
It's quite easy to construct a universe which is finite but boundless (i.e. has no edge).
Maybe for you. I've been trying to get mine constructed for weeks and I can't get past a massless singularity.
That's what you get for shopping at IKEA.
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Down Rodeo said:
I half expect to find a post from Aaronjer here in the morning saying that Mary-Jane isn't that harful after all, just to pick a fight with me, but I think that's because I'm paraoid
Maybe you're paranoid because you've been smoking too much of it. Or not enough. Either way, you're missing some consonants
Aaronjer will care or he won't.
As for the song itself, I think the music is interesting but every time that I've tried to listen to it my brain has tried to make the lyrics, which are really more sounds than anything else, into some sort of coherent sentence and this causes my head to hurt. All I get is "Mary sailed all the way to London in a bottle/brothel".
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phoenix_r said:
Down Rodeo said:
hypotenoise
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Rockbomb said:
I would say that Sprinkles used hacks to find them, but I'dprobably get banned.
You would get banned for being a bad influence on poor, innocent sprinkles.
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SolidKAYOS said:
My head hurts...
Boy, wait until we start talking about clocks running faster at higher altitudes
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Down Rodeo said:
I think AaronJer's a girl.
He just has the hair.
Beautiful girl hair.
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At one point, we had Eva, Hunkex, and Fluffy Bunny Kitty all posting. Now, it's a total sausagefest. I mean seriously.
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Down Rodeo said:
NatureJay said:
Rockbomb said:
aaronjer said:
How is that evidence?
You mean, how is me playing without hacks evidence that I don't play without hacks?
THE ABSENCE OF EVIDENCE IS NOT THE EVIDENCE OF ABSENCE
You sound like my mother.
Your mom is Gin Rummy?
(I was making a Boondocks reference
)
This whole thing could have really been cut short a while ago. While I know aaronjer well enough to believe that when he says "I will never believe you don't use hacks", he is serious, I think the bottom line is that there are ways of broadening your programming knowledge/experience that don't really involve enabling others to be douches, or tacitly accepting those that do the same.
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Rockbomb said:
aaronjer said:
How is that evidence?
You mean, how is me playing without hacks evidence that I don't play without hacks?
THE ABSENCE OF EVIDENCE IS NOT THE EVIDENCE OF ABSENCE
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We're all about wish fulfillment here.
No not yours, ours.
No not yours, ours.
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melloyellow582 said:
superjer said:
It looks just like the regular site with a few more buttons here and there.
And it's in red!
No. There is a racing stripe though. It makes the site load faster
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I wouldn't compare yourself to Tesla here because the end result of a lot of what Tesla was researching was not enabling someone to be a dick.
That was Edison
That was Edison
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Today, I made a reference to The Terrible Secret of Space and someone got it.
Also I heard a word in a dream that I didn't think was real, but by golly, it was.
Things are looking up
Also I heard a word in a dream that I didn't think was real, but by golly, it was.
Things are looking up
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That's ripped off from 27b/6.
Bitches.
Bitches.
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Yeah, it's free.
I imagine that the game itself isn't quite as good as a series of carefully edited videos might make it out to be, but we're always looking for a game where the objective can be achieved easily and the rest is fucking around and this seems to fit the bill
I imagine that the game itself isn't quite as good as a series of carefully edited videos might make it out to be, but we're always looking for a game where the objective can be achieved easily and the rest is fucking around and this seems to fit the bill
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Sick vid
Aaronjer, how is this not the only thing we've been doing for the past month and a half
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They don't do it constantly, I've only heard of hit happening a few times. It's not a matter of stealing the images so much as the bandwidth theft for people that aren't actually visiting the site.
It's a case-by-case thing, I think. This site wouldn't result in a whole lot of bandwidth loss, so they probably won't care. It could still happen.
It's a case-by-case thing, I think. This site wouldn't result in a whole lot of bandwidth loss, so they probably won't care. It could still happen.
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If you're linking those images directly from somethingawful then it's probably only a matter of time before someone figures it out and the image is replaced by a picture of a nail being driven through some dude's dick.
They don't take kindly to bandwidth leechers.
They don't take kindly to bandwidth leechers.
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Nah, that's just these past few weeks. Class at 1 pm on MW and then 9 am on TR. It blows. Ordinarily I keep to a rough schedule. I haven't been on a cycle in about six years.
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Why, my sleep schedule changes a few times a week.
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I'll play not-versus, I'm just not any good and also don't have the time.
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So I had a dream last night that I was sitting in on a student council meeting in the lounge. The dean, who was some short balding greasy man in a sweat stained t-shirt, explained that the meeting was going to start the meeting soon, which meant that certain people had to leave, at which point he looked at Scott who was packing his stuff up anyway. He said he was going but then the dean called out two body guards and told them to defenestrate him, but they weren't successful and what followed were a few judo tosses and a kick in the junk or two.
The meeting was about the spending of a budget surplus. One student suggested using it on something he called "lycos heating" to which I said "what?" This was apparently the wrong thing to say because no one had any desire to explain it to me, and for about fifteen minutes the discussion diverted to how I was an asshole for even asking even though it probably would have taken them a sentence or two to summarize what they were getting at. After a while, it got to the third or fourth girl who was basically trying to get up in my grill because I was asking a simple question, so I spun my chair over to her and got to about two inches away from her face and said something along the lines of "hey darlin', why don't we just cut all this bullshit and you just tell me what it is?" to which she smiled coyly and then told me I didn't deserve to be told.
I woke up before I could flip shit.
The meeting was about the spending of a budget surplus. One student suggested using it on something he called "lycos heating" to which I said "what?" This was apparently the wrong thing to say because no one had any desire to explain it to me, and for about fifteen minutes the discussion diverted to how I was an asshole for even asking even though it probably would have taken them a sentence or two to summarize what they were getting at. After a while, it got to the third or fourth girl who was basically trying to get up in my grill because I was asking a simple question, so I spun my chair over to her and got to about two inches away from her face and said something along the lines of "hey darlin', why don't we just cut all this bullshit and you just tell me what it is?" to which she smiled coyly and then told me I didn't deserve to be told.
I woke up before I could flip shit.
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aaronjer said:
I like how its all sitting on it's ass and acting confused after it comes out. It's all like, "DOUBLEYOO TEE THE FUCK!"
I really wanted it to mistake its old shell for an enemy and begin fighting it.
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superjer said:
Are you saying I'm a bot?
That'd be the day.
That'd be the day.
Yeah. it would be the day that you became a bot.
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Sick vid
Crab battle!
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jacksmoke hasn't come back recently.
I miss that log.
I miss that log.
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No, it's not bound arc bad, or anywhere close to it. In fact, there are a few cool things that happen, it's just that by this point in the series, Kubo has demonstrated that there are certain things he'll do and certain things he won't do and the upcoming arc does a lot to reinforce that. One of the plot twists is rather bad, but two that follow are sort of decent, though one is obvious. Anyway, there's a whole lot of Vizards coming up down the line, so you'll enjoy that.
I never actually watch Dennou Coil because I'm apparently incapable of figuring out how to get anime that isn't on Dattebayo or Hulu, mainly because I don't try nearly hard enough. I would be interested in watching it though, as it seemed to be running with an interesting concept at least.
I never actually watch Dennou Coil because I'm apparently incapable of figuring out how to get anime that isn't on Dattebayo or Hulu, mainly because I don't try nearly hard enough. I would be interested in watching it though, as it seemed to be running with an interesting concept at least.
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Well, you said turret. The running also concerned me. But, if ever there was a use for Grampy Bone, that'd be it.
Anyway, I know what happens next so I'm not taking that bet. What's impressive about it though is that unlike the big lizard Ichigo, who was kind of a monster, this one is actually human-looking, albeit a little spindly, which means that Kubo's adhering to his own rules. He's definitely getting more and more mindless in the process, but this is only the second time Kubo tried for a shot like this, the first one being handled rather easily by Orihime.
The overall repercussions of this, however, I don't feel great about. While I respect it insofar as Ishida and Orihime are around as witnesses, and Ulquiorra is probably right in that Orihime is not coming out of this mentally unscathed, this is a point that I've identified where the series has gone off the rails a bit. Vizard aside, the upcoming fights are going to be a series of disappointments for you. It may be recovering now, but damned it's hard to tell
Anyway, I know what happens next so I'm not taking that bet. What's impressive about it though is that unlike the big lizard Ichigo, who was kind of a monster, this one is actually human-looking, albeit a little spindly, which means that Kubo's adhering to his own rules. He's definitely getting more and more mindless in the process, but this is only the second time Kubo tried for a shot like this, the first one being handled rather easily by Orihime.
The overall repercussions of this, however, I don't feel great about. While I respect it insofar as Ishida and Orihime are around as witnesses, and Ulquiorra is probably right in that Orihime is not coming out of this mentally unscathed, this is a point that I've identified where the series has gone off the rails a bit. Vizard aside, the upcoming fights are going to be a series of disappointments for you. It may be recovering now, but damned it's hard to tell
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Wait, hold on, if I were a spitter.... damnit, I'd need to practice... oh man, this is getting complicated but it could totally be worth it.
I don't even know how this would work!
I don't even know how this would work!
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I was thinking about it and after careful consideration I've realized that if I play the part of fast zombie I'm probably light enough to try to jump on someone's shoulders in an effort to take them down without doing them any major bodily harm. So yes. If I'm in town. And have somewhat advanced warning.
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I was waiting for that revelation.
I kind of miss Fluffy Bunni Kitty. She was kind of dumb, but in a funny way.
I kind of miss Fluffy Bunni Kitty. She was kind of dumb, but in a funny way.
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Erica hasn't been around much.
Probably can't fit through the goddamned door.
Probably can't fit through the goddamned door.
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Failing to follow Rule #1...
Fallback plan: DON'T.
Fallback plan: DON'T.
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Eh... Mega Man 8 has Clown Man, and that alone makes it worth not playing, but I also found the super ball mechanic and all the stupid shit you had to do with it to be sort of annoying. That game was probably the one I enjoyed the least. I remember 7 being pretty horrible too.
I think that after 3, the most fun game was probably 6 for all the wacky physics of the rush suits and the things you could do with them. It gave the game a certain amount of versatility. I have mixed feelings on 5 because the super arrow is a fun gimmick, but Rush Coil is horrible and half the weapons are useless. Something about 4 never quite sits right with me even though I enjoy parts of it and kind of liked both the Balloon and the Wire along with most of the weapons. Funny thing though, I found out yesterday that the guy that did the music for 3 also did the music for 4, which was not what I expected. I would have thought 2 and 3 were the same and 4, 5, and 6 were all one guy, but no.
Anyway, I think what makes 2 the most difficult in the series is probably the level design one you get to the Wily stages. The dagron fight wouldn't be awful if not for the position you were in, and similarly, the first security system and the Gutsdozer are no big thing so long as you can get to them (the second security system, admittedly, takes some ingenuity). And the lead up to Wily, where you take damage from the drops without any way of recovering and by the way he's only weak to one weapon? Totally unfair.
I think that after 3, the most fun game was probably 6 for all the wacky physics of the rush suits and the things you could do with them. It gave the game a certain amount of versatility. I have mixed feelings on 5 because the super arrow is a fun gimmick, but Rush Coil is horrible and half the weapons are useless. Something about 4 never quite sits right with me even though I enjoy parts of it and kind of liked both the Balloon and the Wire along with most of the weapons. Funny thing though, I found out yesterday that the guy that did the music for 3 also did the music for 4, which was not what I expected. I would have thought 2 and 3 were the same and 4, 5, and 6 were all one guy, but no.
Anyway, I think what makes 2 the most difficult in the series is probably the level design one you get to the Wily stages. The dagron fight wouldn't be awful if not for the position you were in, and similarly, the first security system and the Gutsdozer are no big thing so long as you can get to them (the second security system, admittedly, takes some ingenuity). And the lead up to Wily, where you take damage from the drops without any way of recovering and by the way he's only weak to one weapon? Totally unfair.
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It seems like it could also happen with time delayed weapons like the Crash Bomb or something heat seeking like the Dive Missile, perhaps.
Anyway, I beat 4 and 5 without continuing. I'm kind of disappointed it's been this easy, and I know 6 would be no challenge.
Anyway, I beat 4 and 5 without continuing. I'm kind of disappointed it's been this easy, and I know 6 would be no challenge.
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So, as I beat Mega Man 3 without continuing, today I decided to try my hand against Mega Man 4.
So I was fighting Ring Man in the teleport room using Pharaoh Man's weapon, which you can charge and forms a glowing orb of heat above your head. Ring Man killed me, but the orb remained, and he jumped into it. That counted as kill, so I won the match.
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That was one of them!
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Okay maybe we had four girls if that was one.
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We had a girl once! In fact, I think we had one here on three separate occasions!
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I had that happen a couple of weeks ago. It was double, triple, or even quadruple posting things. What I discovered was going it was that I had two tabs of Superjer.com fora open because I was talking to aaronjer in the chat and trying to respond to posts at the same time. Once I got back down to one tab, there were no issues.
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That explains the girl hair.
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Robots are not so easily amused by fagotry. Dead giveaway.
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My brain doesn't usually phone it in that badly on interpretations.
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You guuuyyyyyss, I had a dream again!
This one is kind of topical because it involved aaronjer. We were playing a RTS, except the theme was that there were demons and evil forces and whatnot. I can't really explain what was going on in it because there's no apt parallel; it wasn't really like Diablo, or Quake, or anything, it was just kind of its own thing.
Anyway, so as usual when I'm playing a video game in a dream I was going from being outside of it looking at the screen to being inside of it running around. I think that it had the ability to switch between third person controlling armies and first person hero character?
Right, so there was this "capture the flag" type mechanism going on where one of the opposing armies (atojamz and I were on the same team) sent in a squadron to claim the framework of one our outposts. I don't exactly know how analogize this particular army, but they were were flat, glowing, triangular bugs about the size of a fist with one eye on their back and their method of capturing points was to swarm on top of them until they covered the structure with this piecemeal, glowing exoskeleton. At this point, the official term for this captured structure was "your parent's house". It wasn't directed to any specific person, just, for whatever reason, whenever those things captured anything, it became "your parent's house".
Anyway, so I was running down the side streets (it was an old style brick city, but pitch black out) and aaronjer was running along the top of the walls. I was basically providing cover so that he could get to a power-up which was some kind of anti-ectoplasmic sword that we had been storing next to the base and they had failed to account for. So just as the structure was starting to revert to the other side, aaronjer grabbed the sword and made a big old swing that split the exoskeleton in two and then I woke up.
This one is kind of topical because it involved aaronjer. We were playing a RTS, except the theme was that there were demons and evil forces and whatnot. I can't really explain what was going on in it because there's no apt parallel; it wasn't really like Diablo, or Quake, or anything, it was just kind of its own thing.
Anyway, so as usual when I'm playing a video game in a dream I was going from being outside of it looking at the screen to being inside of it running around. I think that it had the ability to switch between third person controlling armies and first person hero character?
Right, so there was this "capture the flag" type mechanism going on where one of the opposing armies (atojamz and I were on the same team) sent in a squadron to claim the framework of one our outposts. I don't exactly know how analogize this particular army, but they were were flat, glowing, triangular bugs about the size of a fist with one eye on their back and their method of capturing points was to swarm on top of them until they covered the structure with this piecemeal, glowing exoskeleton. At this point, the official term for this captured structure was "your parent's house". It wasn't directed to any specific person, just, for whatever reason, whenever those things captured anything, it became "your parent's house".
Anyway, so I was running down the side streets (it was an old style brick city, but pitch black out) and aaronjer was running along the top of the walls. I was basically providing cover so that he could get to a power-up which was some kind of anti-ectoplasmic sword that we had been storing next to the base and they had failed to account for. So just as the structure was starting to revert to the other side, aaronjer grabbed the sword and made a big old swing that split the exoskeleton in two and then I woke up.
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It's true. We will devise a Rube Goldberg machine geared towards multiple penetrations. You will think the anticipation is the worst part and then you will be wrong.
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Someone should go hit Shinji Hashimoto with a bag of dicks.
I guess they had to cut the script for the DS IV, but what other limitations would there be? I'm enough of an idiot to consider buying it, and there are millions of people dumber than I am. Give the people what they want, considering that beyond Front Mission, no one has had a good idea in the last ten years. The lack of Seiken Densetsu 3 in the U.S. is also appalling. Make more Chrono games. Stop being stupid. ARG.
Quote:
Someone asked Hashimoto for an update on possible DS ports of Final Fantasy V and Final Fantasy VI. Hashimoto's response was "For FF5 and 6, there are technical issues as well, so at present these are also undecided."
He said "also" because a previous poster had asked about possible download release for Super Famicom's Seiken Densetsu 3. Hashimoto's response here was, "This is also at preset undecided."
He said "also" because a previous poster had asked about possible download release for Super Famicom's Seiken Densetsu 3. Hashimoto's response here was, "This is also at preset undecided."
I guess they had to cut the script for the DS IV, but what other limitations would there be? I'm enough of an idiot to consider buying it, and there are millions of people dumber than I am. Give the people what they want, considering that beyond Front Mission, no one has had a good idea in the last ten years. The lack of Seiken Densetsu 3 in the U.S. is also appalling. Make more Chrono games. Stop being stupid. ARG.
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I've barely paid attention to this, but that picture closely resembles a color version of something I have on my old Mackintapple SE. Huh.
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I just watched a tool-assisted speedrun of Air and I can comfortably say I had no idea what was going on the entire time.
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Certainly, what with high speed camera videos popping up all over the place lately.
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I was also temporally and temporarily on the internet.
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Good times. I was really on that night
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I just found out there was a CJ Carlito's. I think aaronjer told me.
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This is why you are a troll.
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That's mostly accurate except for the stupid parts.
User
http://gizmodo.com/5528185/people-shot-in-the-face-with-cupcakes-in-super-slow-motion
Or if you're too dumb to click the link
If you're too dumb to click play, I can't help you.
Or if you're too dumb to click the link
Sick vid
If you're too dumb to click play, I can't help you.
Truck
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It doesn't always give you a squiggly. I've seen the reverse squiggly, one of the L-blocks, and several line pieces. I haven't seen the square or the T-block yet though.
I was playing it last night while I was drunk and got three lines in a game at one point. I don't know why it came back, but someone probably discovered it somewhere and posted about it and it kept ballooning from there.
I was playing it last night while I was drunk and got three lines in a game at one point. I don't know why it came back, but someone probably discovered it somewhere and posted about it and it kept ballooning from there.
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Hateris, gentlemen.
The tetris engine programmed specifically to give you the least useful piece at any given time.
The tetris engine programmed specifically to give you the least useful piece at any given time.
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It's not a parade unless someone's pissing on it.
User
I'm going to ignore everything people were saying about Pokemon.
I recommend that you listen to some Mogwai (Happy Songs For Happy People, or Young Team), Explosions in the Sky (All of a Sudden, I Miss Everyone), or maybe old Godspeed You! Black Emperor (Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennaes to Heaven).
I don't know if that's exactly what you're after, but that's what I use to tone things down and use as background music to help me focus on working on things. The key, I think, is to avoid things with discernible lyrics, as that gets a different part of the brain firing. Some people suggest listening to Gregorian chants and the like too, and I suppose that works so long as you don't speak Latin?
I recommend that you listen to some Mogwai (Happy Songs For Happy People, or Young Team), Explosions in the Sky (All of a Sudden, I Miss Everyone), or maybe old Godspeed You! Black Emperor (Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennaes to Heaven).
I don't know if that's exactly what you're after, but that's what I use to tone things down and use as background music to help me focus on working on things. The key, I think, is to avoid things with discernible lyrics, as that gets a different part of the brain firing. Some people suggest listening to Gregorian chants and the like too, and I suppose that works so long as you don't speak Latin?
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It's a meme, molkers, it doesn't matter.
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superjer said:
NatureJay said:
IMPORTANT: Mega Man 10 was released recently.
It was!? I missed it!?
Forsooth. March 1st for WiiWare, 31st for XBLA. I'm not exactly on the ball about this either, but I don't have a gaming system that isn't my computer within a few thousand miles of me, so I have excuses.
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IMPORTANT: Mega Man 10 was released recently. In light of this news, here's a chronologically inaccurate but still entertaining Mega Man 2 rap
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aaronjer said:
APRIL FOOLS!!
User
No, this is the part where he does, but won't tell anyone where it is.
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Mikejer got food poisoning the last time he went to Jack in the Store. That makes me suspicious, even though food poisoning sounds like something that would happen to mikejer. I don't know. I don't usually eat fast food. It happens like maybe ten times a year.
Back to the original topic,superjer YouTube sucks, visually at least.
Back to the original topic,
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Rockbomb said:
Your all noobs...
You're, and you had a bad image.
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I don't even need a scope attached to my arm.
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Well...
Most of which I bought during the Steam sale around x-mas.
How I got through that without Left 4 Dead, I'm not certain, but I think it's superjer's fault. Namely, the fact that superjer has like twenty accounts that have Left 4 Dead anyway.
Most of which I bought during the Steam sale around x-mas.
How I got through that without Left 4 Dead, I'm not certain, but I think it's superjer's fault. Namely, the fact that superjer has like twenty accounts that have Left 4 Dead anyway.
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Semen?
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We have to be very punctual about this. It's bad enough that we all have to take a day out of our schedules to do this, so a certain order must be maintained.
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I think that might be the problem. He's in one of those squares that blanks out due to lack of satellite feed.
User
Mate de Vita said:
superjer said:
sprinkles said:
SolidKAYOS said:
sprinkles said:
Can I have my own category in teh dumbass section?
Its a lonely life.
I want to join havvoc's group.
Fine.
So, did he get something better or something worse than what he asked for?
Yes.
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So, this is the best thing Cloudy ever posted.
Also, I fulfilled my partying quota last night, but it wasn't here, so you'll have to take my word for it for the time being.
Also, I fulfilled my partying quota last night, but it wasn't here, so you'll have to take my word for it for the time being.
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Covernaut!
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Sometimes those types of sites are interesting, but it's like one time out of a hundred times I look at them and every time I visit, I feel like it's the internet's equivalent of sharing a needle or using the same condom repeatedly. Cracked is more interesting and all on the same site. Patronize Cracked.
Also, here's something that actually contains some LOLOLO.
Also, here's something that actually contains some LOLOLO.
User
If his icon is to believed, he's a giant talking penis with googly eyes and a mouth.
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I suspect SRAW is viral as well, as [it?] provokes others to troll [itself?] in ways that are nearly as dumb.
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The ladder either just reset or is about to and man I would love to have the time to play it right about now
User
Quote:
Monster Party's eighth and final level has the rather awkward name of Dark World Heaven's Castle. Apparently, the only things that get into Heaven in Dark World are witches and sticks of dynamite. Don't question it.
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Yes, the micro is bad, unless you automate things, which is often worse because then workers will build fortresses on resources and cities will continually pump out giant piles of goo that you probably didn't need at the expense of your finances.
I also do like the fact that they don't make the same game over and over again, but the past three or so iterations have been mostly if not entirely about adding a bunch of crazy shit that doesn't make sense but has hilarious outcomes. If they've opted for consolidation this time around I sincerely hope that they've made the stuff that remains super wacky in a slightly weird and vaguely historically faithful way.
I also do like the fact that they don't make the same game over and over again, but the past three or so iterations have been mostly if not entirely about adding a bunch of crazy shit that doesn't make sense but has hilarious outcomes. If they've opted for consolidation this time around I sincerely hope that they've made the stuff that remains super wacky in a slightly weird and vaguely historically faithful way.
User
Also there is no real telling as to whether or not what you will be getting is better or worse.
And now Outcast's background is reminding me of the between stage screens in Monster Party and that's making me want to play it and no one should ever play Monster Party unless they grew up with it and really didn't know any better at the time (like I did).
And now Outcast's background is reminding me of the between stage screens in Monster Party and that's making me want to play it and no one should ever play Monster Party unless they grew up with it and really didn't know any better at the time (like I did).
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Well I fucked that one up in an interesting way. I'm going to retire in style now for probably like a few hours or something.
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sprinkles said:
You're lucky I'm not an admin straw.
We're all lucky you're not an admin straw. It would be so awkward.
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I wanted this to be lolarships like scholarships except you go to school because you made people lol.
User
Too many people have blue to begin with. You can go to hell.
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Outcast said:
sprinkles said:
Outcast said:
Mate de Vita said:
Outcast said:
mrsticks said:
how do i change a bmp. to a jpg.?
I think this is what you need http://www.online-utility.org/image_converter.jsp
Yes, replying to a 3-year-old post was definitely necessary.
I was really bored so...plus you never know maybe someone will find it useful.
The most important thing is that you make motor noises and move your hands around violently or else it won't move. They're dumb things, inherently, so you have to model it for them so that they will understand what they're supposed to be doing.
If you're bored why don't you try looking for secret trucks.
I don't know how to drive one.
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No stacks of units tall as the eye can see and probably then some?
Range of fire on certain units?
- good!
No religions?
No culture bombing and cities rebelling to join you?
Cities growing inherently towards grasslands at the expense of powerhouse production cities?
- bad!
I haven't decided how I feel about the city-state quirk yet. Running around capturing barbarian cities was an easy way for me to grow my empire in advantageous places early on in the game and then fill in the gaps later. I know aaronjer hates barbarians though.
Range of fire on certain units?
- good!
No religions?
No culture bombing and cities rebelling to join you?
Cities growing inherently towards grasslands at the expense of powerhouse production cities?
- bad!
I haven't decided how I feel about the city-state quirk yet. Running around capturing barbarian cities was an easy way for me to grow my empire in advantageous places early on in the game and then fill in the gaps later. I know aaronjer hates barbarians though.
User
Anyone who asks for something will only get Disappointment, in tangible or existential form.
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I want to meet someone who has a master's degree in intelligence
Also, I'm a big fan of dreams where you get to have wild crazy sex with some chick in a public space.
Also, I'm a big fan of dreams where you get to have wild crazy sex with some chick in a public space.
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This would be the Texan Houston not the Scottish one. Sorry, DR
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I had a dream this morning! And I'm pretty sure the Nyquil had burned off by the time I had it, so there's no excuses!
I dreamed that I was part of some military operation that inevitably involved six or seven people sharing a shitty hotel room and dressed identically in white t-shirts and jeans, but that's really not the point. Nor is there a point in the fact that I was also, simultaneously, on Student Council at 11 am (there were multiple sessions of student council) in which we did nothing more but solve abstract math problems involving probability and Cartesian coordinates that couldn't possibly have any solution but to all guess right. Nor is there a point in the fact that one of my friends was also on student council and was constantly hugging me in an effort to squeeze my soul to the surface (BECAUSE IT DID NOT WORK)
The point is that to get to this hotel room, I had to go to Houston. So here are the things that I can tell you about Houston from my dream, which must be verifiable true because I see no reason why my subconscious would lie to me.
* There is a monorail type mass transit system running around the perimeter of the city, and failing to go into the city, it doesn't often get you to where you need to go.
* Away from the downtown area, there is a giant stadium easily about thirty stories tall that rises out from the surrounding landscape, and inside it, every single fast food franchise ever is crammed in and actively competing with each other for space and attention. Even though it's a stadium, there are no games, aside from the fast food people fighting over customers. People just go there to eat.
* The downtown area is really small, but the builders have gotten around that by constructing facades that resemble real buildings from a certain angle and appear to have depth, albeit like ten feet of depth, and only when you look at them straight-on.
* For whatever reason, they also opted to have similarly constructed flame decals erupting out of the earth. This, I presume, is to scare away predators.
* If that doesn't scare away predators, the fact that roughly five blocks squared of the city, up to the monorail level (which was higher than a normal monorail mind you), was stacked with giant rockets, stinger missiles, and other forms of ballistic warfare that were doing in particular aside from just chilling there and shedding off moonlight.
Conclusion? Houston has no idea what it's doing, but it's kind of cool anyway.
I dreamed that I was part of some military operation that inevitably involved six or seven people sharing a shitty hotel room and dressed identically in white t-shirts and jeans, but that's really not the point. Nor is there a point in the fact that I was also, simultaneously, on Student Council at 11 am (there were multiple sessions of student council) in which we did nothing more but solve abstract math problems involving probability and Cartesian coordinates that couldn't possibly have any solution but to all guess right. Nor is there a point in the fact that one of my friends was also on student council and was constantly hugging me in an effort to squeeze my soul to the surface (BECAUSE IT DID NOT WORK)
The point is that to get to this hotel room, I had to go to Houston. So here are the things that I can tell you about Houston from my dream, which must be verifiable true because I see no reason why my subconscious would lie to me.
* There is a monorail type mass transit system running around the perimeter of the city, and failing to go into the city, it doesn't often get you to where you need to go.
* Away from the downtown area, there is a giant stadium easily about thirty stories tall that rises out from the surrounding landscape, and inside it, every single fast food franchise ever is crammed in and actively competing with each other for space and attention. Even though it's a stadium, there are no games, aside from the fast food people fighting over customers. People just go there to eat.
* The downtown area is really small, but the builders have gotten around that by constructing facades that resemble real buildings from a certain angle and appear to have depth, albeit like ten feet of depth, and only when you look at them straight-on.
* For whatever reason, they also opted to have similarly constructed flame decals erupting out of the earth. This, I presume, is to scare away predators.
* If that doesn't scare away predators, the fact that roughly five blocks squared of the city, up to the monorail level (which was higher than a normal monorail mind you), was stacked with giant rockets, stinger missiles, and other forms of ballistic warfare that were doing in particular aside from just chilling there and shedding off moonlight.
Conclusion? Houston has no idea what it's doing, but it's kind of cool anyway.
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Down Rodeo said:
Eh, no, not at all like the Doppler effect. And the Doppler effect *is* with colours (it's called redshift, wiki it).
I like it when people try to be smart around you. It warms my heart.
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Superjer programmed the database so that DR's post color changes by one hex every time he posts. The thing is, it changes back too, and keeps going back and forth at a random rate, so you're not really supposed to notice
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Hey, 3+ minutes of obnoxious unfunny bullshit to get to the actual video, and then another minute or so of obnoxious unfunny bullshit to follow
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Using Microsoft tools to make a violent pseudo-Mario game. Like that's not going to end in anyone getting raped.
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splatter Mario was once nearly completed in a really dumb way but then superjer's computer crashed and he cried enough tears to flood the house, which only made things worse.
I did have good fun screwing around on one of the betas when I should have been programming in a VB class though.
I did have good fun screwing around on one of the betas when I should have been programming in a VB class though.
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They were cargo pants
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Enjay: Bringing you the worst the internet has to offer (except 4chan) since its inception.
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I demand remuneration for my efforts in keeping things calm. It took up most of my waking efforts throughout the weekend, to the point where I could not concentrate on any real work, and it took everything I had to keep Kayos from flying off the handle.
You should probably give cloudy some pot money too.
You should probably give cloudy some pot money too.
User
Truly, you are the MacGyver of pot smokers.
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User
Be sure to stuff it in real tight. We cannot repeat the same mistakes we made in the past.
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User
I got raped in the brain by some White Russians last night. I've been awake off and on for five hours now and despite eating and drinking a fair amount, I have no idea if I'm getting sober.
Also, as terrifying Russian singers go, no one is topping this guy. If you can't make it through the whole thing, at least make it to about the 2:15 mark.
Also, as terrifying Russian singers go, no one is topping this guy. If you can't make it through the whole thing, at least make it to about the 2:15 mark.
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He already used up his one-time "I am back" post. Now, every time he comes back, he has to get a different person to announce it for him. Otherwise we would ban him.
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User
Okay, here's a little tit, just for you.
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Stay tuned!
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User
We'd be more impressed if he hadn't been talking about making it for about twelve years.
We're still impressed though.
We're still impressed though.
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Huh. So Yahoo Questions has some other facility other than asking how is babby formed.
I still advocate the way of unfathomable violence.
I still advocate the way of unfathomable violence.
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The moral of the story is that do not disrespect the shapes because you would be fucked up without them.
And seriously, what kind of math teacher makes you keep a journal?
And seriously, what kind of math teacher makes you keep a journal?
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User
That prompt your instructor gave you is retarded, and by merit of your being in his class, you must be even more retarded.
tell him you tried to type something up, but then you realized there was no keyboard, because keys have shapes, and you couldn't type anymore, because fingers have shapes, and on top of that, you couldn't see anymore, because eyes have shapes, and perceive other things that have shapes.
then kill him and everyone he knows.
tell him you tried to type something up, but then you realized there was no keyboard, because keys have shapes, and you couldn't type anymore, because fingers have shapes, and on top of that, you couldn't see anymore, because eyes have shapes, and perceive other things that have shapes.
then kill him and everyone he knows.
User
1. Fugu
User
I stopped playing them at IX. I heard XII was okay though. I don't know. I'm not sure that I've had one really come together for me in ages, and VIII was so very bad.
My hope here would be that the end of the series would mean that someone could work on XI long enough to free up that team to go make another Chrono game. Damnit.
My hope here would be that the end of the series would mean that someone could work on XI long enough to free up that team to go make another Chrono game. Damnit.
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I use the word love so much that I am a threat to myself and those around me.
User
The hard frost in March of last year killed the crop.
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It's funny because Firefox crashes for you for fewer reasons than Chrone crashes for me.
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Why don't you try for something where your competition isn't 95% of the board and people who will register in the future?
User
It's prevalent throughout high schools. For the most part, the people that try to rebel against the system, so to speak, either aren't that intelligent, aren't that creative, or usually both.
One time, I think it was junior or senior year, Nez and I were walking off campus and started getting whiffs of cigarettes in the area. Mind you, at the time, our usual response to things... well actually this is still true now, but it was to make a bunch of dumb and obvious comments about the situation and see people get riled up for no reason. The girl's eventual retort as we were leaving the path was "smoking doesn't kill, school does!"
I'm no huge fan of the American education system, but that was probably one of the dumber things I'd heard at the time. Reasonable guess might be that chick got knocked up and dropped out, but that phenomenon was not so common at our HS as compared to others
One time, I think it was junior or senior year, Nez and I were walking off campus and started getting whiffs of cigarettes in the area. Mind you, at the time, our usual response to things... well actually this is still true now, but it was to make a bunch of dumb and obvious comments about the situation and see people get riled up for no reason. The girl's eventual retort as we were leaving the path was "smoking doesn't kill, school does!"
I'm no huge fan of the American education system, but that was probably one of the dumber things I'd heard at the time. Reasonable guess might be that chick got knocked up and dropped out, but that phenomenon was not so common at our HS as compared to others
User
I just drank everything under the sink and broke all the bottles! Some of them were plastic! Now I feel empty inside! THIS IS HOW MAD I AM NOW! SO MAD AM I!
User
I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE
User
There are only so many deep insights you can spell out with letters A through G.
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Cloudy will not commit to giving a reply.
User
I always interpreted it someone getting laid by a band groupie because they can "play guitar", though they only actually know three chords.
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the more time I spend on the internet the more I just realize that I fucking hate everything.
User
I'm also offended that he's Asian.
User
eDan will come back when the forums stop dying.
Since the forums are always dying, eDan is never coming back.
Since the forums are always dying, eDan is never coming back.
User
sprinkles said:
I still have my old Playstation. It is sitting on my desk with its top off, haha the irony.
That's not irony. You're just stupid.
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You're going to die once you get into hell?
At least until they release 1.13, there's no real way for a pure melee class to beat the game because the Oblivion Knights, or whatever they are, keep casting Iron Maiden until all your blood goes from the inside to the outside.
At least until they release 1.13, there's no real way for a pure melee class to beat the game because the Oblivion Knights, or whatever they are, keep casting Iron Maiden until all your blood goes from the inside to the outside.
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Atta boy, spread the word!
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User
Okay you guys, it's very important for you to know that I had a DREAM last night.
The main feature of the dream was that aaronjer, Nez, and I were all playing a video game, which I can only describe as a combination of Bomberman and Little Big Planet. It was much like Little Big Planet in that there was a large playing field with objects in motion, an end goal to be reached, and a gameplay environment extremely conducive to fucking around, EXCEPT, there was always a large and awkward piece that you had to transport over to the end in order to win and the main means of locomotion for yourself or anything else was to throw bombs at it*.
Every time you got hit by a bomb you would go rocketing off in some direction, but the amount of damage you took was always minimal relative to the environmental traps. That meant that as you were playing in co-op mode, where points were mostly shared, you could do all sorts of unusual and rather mean things like trying to juggle a person in the air the entire time as you were moving the block to the goal, or doing everything in your power to make sure that whenever one person tried to move the block (bombs were the only way, it was too heavy to push), they would be blown away from it by their own teammates who had other plans.
Anyway, the real point is that Superjer needs to make this game or something like it right now, or after he finishes Fluffy Kitten Farm or SPARToR or whatever he's doing.
* I understand this is not in the least bit how Bomberman actually works.
The main feature of the dream was that aaronjer, Nez, and I were all playing a video game, which I can only describe as a combination of Bomberman and Little Big Planet. It was much like Little Big Planet in that there was a large playing field with objects in motion, an end goal to be reached, and a gameplay environment extremely conducive to fucking around, EXCEPT, there was always a large and awkward piece that you had to transport over to the end in order to win and the main means of locomotion for yourself or anything else was to throw bombs at it*.
Every time you got hit by a bomb you would go rocketing off in some direction, but the amount of damage you took was always minimal relative to the environmental traps. That meant that as you were playing in co-op mode, where points were mostly shared, you could do all sorts of unusual and rather mean things like trying to juggle a person in the air the entire time as you were moving the block to the goal, or doing everything in your power to make sure that whenever one person tried to move the block (bombs were the only way, it was too heavy to push), they would be blown away from it by their own teammates who had other plans.
Anyway, the real point is that Superjer needs to make this game or something like it right now, or after he finishes Fluffy Kitten Farm or SPARToR or whatever he's doing.
* I understand this is not in the least bit how Bomberman actually works.
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And yet, so did your ping
User
Superjer, they know your secret!
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Now Crytax will be happy for longer than a few seconds.
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User
See, now you're just doing something wrong.
I've not seen any screen of death since Win 98, so you're clearly just trying too hard.
I've not seen any screen of death since Win 98, so you're clearly just trying too hard.
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Yeah?
Superjer had it. I watched him play parts of it at his house like eight years ago or something. It doesn't seem as funny now as it used to be? Or maybe those cut scenes were just bad.
Superjer had it. I watched him play parts of it at his house like eight years ago or something. It doesn't seem as funny now as it used to be? Or maybe those cut scenes were just bad.
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Crytax will be happy.
Briefly.
Briefly.
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User
Yes, that is a uniquely Google problem. "Make a full version of something? Sorry, we've got to get property rights to the moon, brb".
I like the streamlined interface, particularly the tab to search bit which is on par with Firefox's right-hand drop down mini search engines, but my policy with regard to... well, everything is: 1) determine absolute threshold 2) operate at that level. Chrome, having a lower threshold, is more suitable for people like Mikejer, who seems to think it's fun to open up various pages one at a time whenever he logs onto his computer. I would prefer my hundred pages that I cannot possibly remember otherwise (at best, it would be a nuisance, and at worst, catastrophically time wasting) to be mostly preloaded. Chrome would melt if I tried that. It also forces me to sign back into shit, which is tedious, so I'll be going back to Firefox shortly.
Also, for everyone else's benefit... Fun fact: when you install Windows 7 on your computer, very often it will assume that your touchpad is an actual physical mouse. This can be problematic because it means it operates like a fucking macbook, except worse, because it's more sensitive. So, as you're typing it will start to think that you've clicked elsewhere on the screen by tapping the pad (even when you have not) and the text will start up anew wherever your cursor was. This is frustrating, to say the least. You'll have to re-install the touchpad back to the factory settings (if compatible) before you can reconfigure it to behave normally. You know, where you click to click.
I like the streamlined interface, particularly the tab to search bit which is on par with Firefox's right-hand drop down mini search engines, but my policy with regard to... well, everything is: 1) determine absolute threshold 2) operate at that level. Chrome, having a lower threshold, is more suitable for people like Mikejer, who seems to think it's fun to open up various pages one at a time whenever he logs onto his computer. I would prefer my hundred pages that I cannot possibly remember otherwise (at best, it would be a nuisance, and at worst, catastrophically time wasting) to be mostly preloaded. Chrome would melt if I tried that. It also forces me to sign back into shit, which is tedious, so I'll be going back to Firefox shortly.
Also, for everyone else's benefit... Fun fact: when you install Windows 7 on your computer, very often it will assume that your touchpad is an actual physical mouse. This can be problematic because it means it operates like a fucking macbook, except worse, because it's more sensitive. So, as you're typing it will start to think that you've clicked elsewhere on the screen by tapping the pad (even when you have not) and the text will start up anew wherever your cursor was. This is frustrating, to say the least. You'll have to re-install the touchpad back to the factory settings (if compatible) before you can reconfigure it to behave normally. You know, where you click to click.
Truck
User
Could you bind buy key to be something else?
Also it's not the same on all laptops. I use Fn and the up and down arrow keys to adjust brightness on mine, and F2 does nothing because the Wifi switch is an on/off thing on the right side.
Also it's not the same on all laptops. I use Fn and the up and down arrow keys to adjust brightness on mine, and F2 does nothing because the Wifi switch is an on/off thing on the right side.
Truck
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That's why we don't care. They're not like us.
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User
If you have Pro or better you can run things in Windows XP mode. That's the main reason to get that.
I don't have much problems with it, but I've been trying to use Google Chrome on top of that and it's really cocking things up. It used to be that with Firefox, I would have about eight windows with around fifteen tabs apiece, but Chrome can't seem to handle more than six sometimes without crashing.
Yes, I'm aware of the fact that my internet tendencies are a train wreck.
I don't have much problems with it, but I've been trying to use Google Chrome on top of that and it's really cocking things up. It used to be that with Firefox, I would have about eight windows with around fifteen tabs apiece, but Chrome can't seem to handle more than six sometimes without crashing.
Yes, I'm aware of the fact that my internet tendencies are a train wreck.
User
That girl spends most of the day leaving it to your imagination, with a few scant minutes devoted to entering and exiting pools.
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You got lucky in that your dream was kind of interesting despite not having Rice in it but still realistically not very lucky at all.
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WTF BETA
User
We at Superjer.com.web.net also celebrate X-mas with the greatest X-mas song of all time.
Enjay! I mean, enjoy!
Enjay! I mean, enjoy!
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Only on the Superjer.com forums.
User
becuse?
She's kind of cute, but the expression on her face at least is slightly cow-y, which is not good.
She's kind of cute, but the expression on her face at least is slightly cow-y, which is not good.
User
Sushi said:
2nd, my password is impossible to guess since I'm Asian. :P
You're right! There certainly aren't any Asians on this here internet.
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User
Sorry Cloudy, you'll regain the title some day. I have faith in you.
Truck
User
If you just got hacked, meaning you either could easily get hacked again or have a trojan on your computer, why would we want to give you information for our accounts?
I'm trying to be calm about this but that is the stupidest thing I've read on this board in some time and that is saying quite a lot.
I'm trying to be calm about this but that is the stupidest thing I've read on this board in some time and that is saying quite a lot.
User
I read this as, Kayos is going to slit sprinkles' throat, and then rape his entire family, through the hole in the throat.
Truck
User
She probably just wanted the mustache, but it's a bit hard to detach, so she took the whole thing.
Truck
User
Alternatively, Superjer hasn't had a beard since Erica moved out.
Truck
User
I'm not sure what you're trying to say there. Either you have typos or are temporarily retarded.
Basically, what happened was supes was talking the Panteras having mighty beards, adding that unlike them, he did not have a complete beard as a child. I pointed out that he doesn't even have a complete beard now, and then he photoshopped his icon to add a beard to it and uploaded it again.
It's not that complicated.
Basically, what happened was supes was talking the Panteras having mighty beards, adding that unlike them, he did not have a complete beard as a child. I pointed out that he doesn't even have a complete beard now, and then he photoshopped his icon to add a beard to it and uploaded it again.
It's not that complicated.
Truck
User
Truck
User
aaronjer said:
A new admin? But we already have Mello! Anyone has seen him in ages, right? I mean, he's got us covered!
I keep telling people, we're going about this all wrong. We don't need more admins, we need more people who are suspected of being admins.
Truck
User
Some think that Penguin Mate has a different tone than Headshot Mate, and many feel threatened by this change.
Logically, the only solution is that over the course of the next LAN party, we will develop a new series of Icons de Vita to be decided on and implemented at a later date.
Logically, the only solution is that over the course of the next LAN party, we will develop a new series of Icons de Vita to be decided on and implemented at a later date.
Truck
User
It's the secret purpose of the biannual LAN party.
Truck
User
DR was one of the few people to basically understand how this forum worked from the get-go. For this, we are pretty thankful.
His icon used to be a moth, after he hatched from the admin chrysalis.
His icon used to be a moth, after he hatched from the admin chrysalis.
Truck
User
Blood Money is a Tom Waits album based off of a theatre production of Woyzeck. It's not one of his better ones.
It's also a term used to refer to money paid to the families of murder victims by the criminals once they are arrested.
This was definitely what you were asking about.
It's also a term used to refer to money paid to the families of murder victims by the criminals once they are arrested.
This was definitely what you were asking about.
Truck
User
I don't have to have a facial expression to point at things.
But usually when someone does what she's doing they're thisclose to firing lazers out of their fingertips and incinerating someone.
But usually when someone does what she's doing they're thisclose to firing lazers out of their fingertips and incinerating someone.
Truck
User
The internet is in danger.
DaveDays is saving the internet.
DaveDays is saving the internet.
Truck
User
No, she doesn't seem like the type. Although tattoos would be an interesting form of identification if you were missing such important facts as who you were and how the world done got blowed up.
Have you asked her to marry you yet? Does she object to her titties appearing all over the internets? If not, she might be a keeper.
Have you asked her to marry you yet? Does she object to her titties appearing all over the internets? If not, she might be a keeper.
Truck
User
Yeah, she's pretty cute but she's kind of... flat.
By which I mean she's two-dimensional. And a cartoon.
By which I mean she's two-dimensional. And a cartoon.
Truck
User
If we went over the things that you can't do, that would defeat the purpose of having them not do anything.
Truck
User
Which now means that just anyone can sneak into superjer's house and pee on the server.
Truck
User
Oh. My. God.
It all makes sense now!
SuperJer, how could you?
It all makes sense now!
SuperJer, how could you?
Truck
User
Maybe they're not really zombies, but instead are doing a lot of PCP.
Truck
User
The admins are smart enough to think of even stupider things to do.
Truck
User
I don't understand this dream at all. You didn't have magical powers and Superjer didn't ruin everything.
Truck
User
You're not missing much.
so the vampire craze hasn't made it to your neck of the woods yet?
so the vampire craze hasn't made it to your neck of the woods yet?
Truck
User
Sad Jake?! causes me to also be sad :(
I really couldn't hear you most of the time. I think either I need to tweak my settings or your outbound is out of sync.
I really couldn't hear you most of the time. I think either I need to tweak my settings or your outbound is out of sync.
User
FREE ZON PLZ
Truck
User
I'll be on vent Friday perhaps or over the weekend. I've been busier than something that is usually quite busy and sicker than something that is very sick indeed.
Truck
User
I think the points system SuperJer implemented is successful in that it allows us to discriminate between people who realize that things like post count and points serve no practical purpose in the forum scheme of things and people who are fucking idiots.
Truck
User
Yeah... uh... I've been using windows base products pretty much all my life and I haven't had to reset to zero ever and I haven't even seen a blue screen since Win95. I've never had to do multiple boots to get a machine to work. I've never had hardware sync issues even though I've built my last three machines from parts, but mind you I'm pretty good at that. Not at all like Nez who sits in a dark room and hammers hard drives and processors together until it generates enough sparks to connect to the internet, at which point he loads every virus he can find onto the machine and lets them battle for supremacy.
Anyway, since Macs make all their own hardware it ought to sync. If it didn't, that would be funny.
Anyway, since Macs make all their own hardware it ought to sync. If it didn't, that would be funny.
Truck
User
It would probably work better if you just e-mailed me. I'm on the second floor, wedged between two brick walls most of the time. To get phone reception I have to run to the bathroom, where my computer is not.
Truck
User
atoberry needs to give me the vent because I finally remembered to get off my lazy ass and buy a new headset.
Truck
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aaronjer said:
His desire to own a Macintosh product in the first place should be enough for you to see he has irrational buying habits. I don't think "worth it" ever even crossed his mind.
Oh, wait, you own a Macintosh computer! Hah, that explains it!
Oh, wait, you own a Macintosh computer! Hah, that explains it!
Macintapple.
User
I wonder what ever happened to Mr. Ribbon?
Truck
User
Weird. I guess that the people that would be into that would be the people who insist on playing the Earth map only and complain about balance issues and historical inaccuracy. I kind of liked it when Spearmen could blow up Howitzers. It made the game interesting. Not fun, but interesting.
And besides, if it's just trying to replicate the goings on of actual civilizations, then it's missing the point. The real point of Civilization IV is that Zoroaster got eaten by a kitty while he was on his way to Berlin to build the Temple of Solomon.
And besides, if it's just trying to replicate the goings on of actual civilizations, then it's missing the point. The real point of Civilization IV is that Zoroaster got eaten by a kitty while he was on his way to Berlin to build the Temple of Solomon.
User
HONG KONG KONG
User
Except one interesting point in English is that the most basic concepts have stayed true to the Germanic roots, and the more marked in diction you get, the more you drift into Latinisms.
It's hard to see Spanish supplanting that, so maybe we'll collect more words, but I don't think English as we know it now is going to be replaced in that way. In past centuries children were raised by nannies that didn't speak English as a first language, but that didn't result in a widespread shift of our speaking tendencies.
If Spanish is going to become part of English, or really the other way around, that's likely to develop around commercial centers, but even that makes some ugly assumptions about those damned Mexicans wanting to do that work while decent white folk remain in the service industry.
Either way, there are more speakers of Mandarin than both English and Spanish combined and I don't see us stealing their words. Yet. (We probably should)
It's hard to see Spanish supplanting that, so maybe we'll collect more words, but I don't think English as we know it now is going to be replaced in that way. In past centuries children were raised by nannies that didn't speak English as a first language, but that didn't result in a widespread shift of our speaking tendencies.
If Spanish is going to become part of English, or really the other way around, that's likely to develop around commercial centers, but even that makes some ugly assumptions about those damned Mexicans wanting to do that work while decent white folk remain in the service industry.
Either way, there are more speakers of Mandarin than both English and Spanish combined and I don't see us stealing their words. Yet. (We probably should)
User
eDan Co. said:
fedex _ said:
Down Rodeo said:
interchangeable.
Big Word...
Small Brain...
You missed cloudy saying "policy" "memorable" and "spouting" were big words the other day.
That wasn't even me playing it up all that much, but now I'm beginning to question why I started dumbing down the way I communicate in the first place. It's starting to make me feel as though my thoughts are getting dumber as well.
Truck
User
Cloudy spells however the fuck he wants.
He posts all the time, but we don't hold it against him because it's kind of funny.
And to clarify, it's not that people think your shit stinks less if you post less, it's that people think your shit stinks more if you post all the time.
He posts all the time, but we don't hold it against him because it's kind of funny.
And to clarify, it's not that people think your shit stinks less if you post less, it's that people think your shit stinks more if you post all the time.
Truck
User
(gasp)
We need to have a 3 v 3 v 3! Or 4 v 4! Fuck. I'm so excited I might just buy a headset.
We need to have a 3 v 3 v 3! Or 4 v 4! Fuck. I'm so excited I might just buy a headset.
Truck
User
No, I'm usually here, but I make it a policy to not go off spouting retarded shit simply because I have a laptop, an internet engine, and the requisite appendages. I prefer to post less and have what I post be memorable, thereby imbuing those around me with a sense of my judicious use of language and incredible rhetorical skills, which of course generates the appropriate fear of me.
And then I bask.
And then I bask.
Truck
User
And if we're going to build an ironclad, I propose we do it in Nez' apartment, so as to block him off from either the kitchen or the bathroom. That'll show him.
And then Jake will culture bomb him or something.
And then Jake will culture bomb him or something.
Truck
User
I think I'm about ready to move up to Noble, or something after Warlord at any rate. I keep getting through games with four times the score of my nearest competitor. And I play on the largest map, marathon, without fail, so I've never been caught in one of those tiny map death matches. It's usually just an all-out and senseless war of someone who has knights trebuchets and longbowmen as their best units versus riflemen and cannons. Good times had by all in the instances when, for no reason at all (possibly my refusal to be intimidated by them), the Persians or whomever have attacked one of my cities with a unit stack big enough to kill off, I don't know, one of my guys, and I've responded by wiping out their entire civilization. Seems fair to me, really.
Truck
User
Oh happy day
I had actually just wrapped up a game. I was playing on balanced, which I assumed had meant balanced between archipelagos and continents, but instead meant roughly half water half giant land mass. Well, long story short, I covered most of the continent and put Napoleon of the Khmer in a corner. Meanwhile, Hatshepsut of the Russians wanted to jump my bones because I was Ramses of the Indians, and you know, and Genghis Khan of the Portuguese didn't do a whole lot because he wasn't smrat enough and there was no use for a navy. Anyway, I picked off enough of Napoleon's cities via culture flipping to win a domination victory around 1816.
AND I was getting all upset because I knew I wouldn't have time to play another game any time soon, but now I can! just through the interweb thing.
I had actually just wrapped up a game. I was playing on balanced, which I assumed had meant balanced between archipelagos and continents, but instead meant roughly half water half giant land mass. Well, long story short, I covered most of the continent and put Napoleon of the Khmer in a corner. Meanwhile, Hatshepsut of the Russians wanted to jump my bones because I was Ramses of the Indians, and you know, and Genghis Khan of the Portuguese didn't do a whole lot because he wasn't smrat enough and there was no use for a navy. Anyway, I picked off enough of Napoleon's cities via culture flipping to win a domination victory around 1816.
AND I was getting all upset because I knew I wouldn't have time to play another game any time soon, but now I can! just through the interweb thing.
Truck
User
If the new patch was released around the same time as the winter LAN, that would be in the running for the greatest thing to ever happen to anything ever.
Truck
User
The joke is that the poorly-drawn man on the right is having relationship troubles because his woman is withholding sex and that only makes things worse.
User
Some people have suggested that Jake?! is not really Jake?! but instead something else entirely. This is like people suggesting that Commie has a name that is not Commie. It's just inaccurate. That Jake?! is Jake?! has been proven by popular declaration. Unfortunately, rumors persist and can never be truly eradicated. (We're working on it)
User
One day, about ten or so years ago, I was standing outside by a recycling bin and Grammajan said "hey look, NatureJay!"
It stuck.
It stuck.
Truck
User
He spent the money on Alienware. That tells me about as much as I need to know.
Truck
User
My favorite part is that the line goes through the top of Cosby's hair.
Truck
User
Wasn't he Wingus? Or Dingus?
Truck
User
It's times like these I'm proud to be not technically alive, making worrying about this kind of shit completely unnecessary.
Should probably still exercise a bit more though, for its own sake.
Should probably still exercise a bit more though, for its own sake.
Truck
User
We have a Jainist?
I mean, we have a Zoroastrian, and a Rabbi, and a weird zen agnostic hybrid, and a bunch of atheists, and the makings of a good "walked into a bar" joke, but I didn't know we had a Jainist. Man. I mean... all the hoops they'd have to jump through just to be on the internet.
Anyway, does the atheism thing make you a bad rabbi or does it make you a better rabbi?
I mean, we have a Zoroastrian, and a Rabbi, and a weird zen agnostic hybrid, and a bunch of atheists, and the makings of a good "walked into a bar" joke, but I didn't know we had a Jainist. Man. I mean... all the hoops they'd have to jump through just to be on the internet.
Anyway, does the atheism thing make you a bad rabbi or does it make you a better rabbi?
Truck
User
In honor of eDan's more permanent return, I present a Rabbi holding a Tabby
Truck
User
On the internet, NOTHING IS SAFE.
Truck
User
Crytax said:
the_cloud_system said:
DaveDays said:
Mate de Vita said:
sprinkles said:
Sloth said:
sprinkles said:
the_cloud_system said:
aaronjer said:
Zarathustra said:
Down Rodeo said:
[quote=DaveDays said:
Mate de Vita said:
sprinkles said:
Sloth said:
sprinkles said:
the_cloud_system said:
aaronjer said:
Zarathustra said:
Down Rodeo said:
said:Sloth said:
Mate de Vita said:
Sloth said:
Mate de Vita said:
Sloth said:
Crytax said:
sprinkles said:
DaveDays said:
sprinkles said:
NatureJay said:
sprinkles said:
Sloth said:
lol
Sloth said:
Mate de Vita said:
Sloth said:
Mate de Vita said:
Sloth said:
Crytax said:
sprinkles said:
DaveDays said:
sprinkles said:
NatureJay said:
sprinkles said:
Sloth said:
lol
Truck
User
You know what this looks like? This looks like those metacomics in Homestuck, put in the superjer.comic world.
I'm pleased to know that cloudy has elevated being retarded to an art form now. I was also quite pleased with the earlier posting of half of it.
Edit: Fucking hell, this is my thousandth post!
I'm pleased to know that cloudy has elevated being retarded to an art form now. I was also quite pleased with the earlier posting of half of it.
Edit: Fucking hell, this is my thousandth post!
Truck
User
Sloth said:
I had already placed the dot!
And that's when the sodomy began...
Truck
User
SRAW said:
im trying to learn how to suck my own dick so i dont have time
You may need to start by removing a few of the lower ribs.
Truck
User
No, I don't actually. But getting back to the powers, it seems like when you have the dreams where you have some sort of magical power it's rotting you, or provoking something incredibly evil, or inadvertently screwing with the surroundings, or just pissing people around you off. I don't know that it would be quite the same otherwise, but it does seem like a recurring motif.
Your mom's a recurring motif.
Your mom's a recurring motif.
User
I don't care. If there are two of him, we don't need that many. One might be too much. Maybe just half. If he's good it gets to be the upper half.
Truck
User
That ending is pretty special.
It seemed like you tried really hard this time to not have fantasy things in your dream but your subconscious fucked up at the last minute. also, why is it that when you have powers they usually have extreme consequences?
It seemed like you tried really hard this time to not have fantasy things in your dream but your subconscious fucked up at the last minute. also, why is it that when you have powers they usually have extreme consequences?
User
WHO THE FUCK ARE BOTH OF YOU
User
I am peripherally aware of that band. They probably suck and most things that marching bands do negate what aesthetic worth they previously had.
User
I don't recognize that song and thus cannot be expected to care.
Truck
User
It was all over the news here because we're horribly isolated people with nothing better to do with our time.
Uh.... that last panel is an experimental hot air balloon. It was released somewhere in the midwest last week and the son of its inventor was thought to be on board, except they later discovered him hiding in the attic, presumably to avoid the wrath of his father who didn't want him playing with the prototype. It is now believe that this whole thing might have been a publicity stunt and nothing more, but it was all anyone covered on the news for a span of a few hours.
Uh.... that last panel is an experimental hot air balloon. It was released somewhere in the midwest last week and the son of its inventor was thought to be on board, except they later discovered him hiding in the attic, presumably to avoid the wrath of his father who didn't want him playing with the prototype. It is now believe that this whole thing might have been a publicity stunt and nothing more, but it was all anyone covered on the news for a span of a few hours.
Truck
User
I would interpret that as posting a funny that someone else made.
Truck
User
Well now I just hate your icon that much more.
Truck
User
aaronjer said:
Are you sure the boat wasn't important? Are you sure it wasn't a vestigial memory of your Boatdad?
I can assure you it had nothing to do with my Boatdad. I'm not even certain what kind of boat it was. It may have been a schooner. At any rate, I don't even remember getting off of it, I was just on the shore.
Truck
User
Havokk Edge said:
Awe i really improved that much? shucks... thanksh. How so have i improved exactly?
You haven't been posting as much. A similar thing happened with jacksmoke.
Truck
User
The boat part of the dream lasted no amount of time. I would not consider it to be a boat dream.
Truck
User
Kali or Durga, probably. They usually only have between four and ten hands. This one clearly had rows and tows of hands completely encircling her.
Truck
User
I had a dream last night. Er... this morning.
I dreamed that I was sailing near a glacier with some people I know from school (but do not necessarily like!). We came to the shore and found a massive rock avalanche, large jagged boulders sweeping down the mountain-side. Buried underneath it was a Russian village, with the stereotypical design of traditional Russian architecture. The buildings were somehow still standing and undamaged even though rock was piled all around them. The thought never occurred to us that there might have been survivors.
Scaling the rocks, I found a statue of that one Hindu goddess with the hundred hands (I don't remember which she is). I didn't think much of it at the time and continued upwards. While the shore level was faintly cold and overlooking snowcapped mountains, as I got higher the climate became increasingly temperate, and eventually near tropical, though comfortable and not stifling. I and the others (there were others, but they never did anything so I'm not going to mention them anymore) finally reached a plateau where we looked outward at the bay. It seemed a little brighter now, but the weather there overall seemed about the same as ever.
I continued onward along a path, and the surrounding foliage quickly turned into a rainforest, not overgrown, but spongy soil and surrounded by mosses and trees, both standing and fallen. There were others following the path too, several before and after me, and a series of switchbacks, north and south, as we continued to head upward. finally the northward path opened up into a granite path that had been eroded through the cliffside.
I followed it around and came to a small encampment, with a fence made of bamboo and several water collecting contraptions made of the same. The camp was operated by a troupe of what appeared to be Buddhist nuns, with shaven heads and dressed in maroon robes. The leader, a caucasian girl with glasses came out to greet me. She was not surprised to see me, but not entirely unwelcoming either, rather, she seemed strained, as though her responsibilities were recently becoming too much for her. She offered me tea and we sat by a small pool and talked at length. I remember nothing of our conversation.
I don't know, it might've been Shambala or something.
I dreamed that I was sailing near a glacier with some people I know from school (but do not necessarily like!). We came to the shore and found a massive rock avalanche, large jagged boulders sweeping down the mountain-side. Buried underneath it was a Russian village, with the stereotypical design of traditional Russian architecture. The buildings were somehow still standing and undamaged even though rock was piled all around them. The thought never occurred to us that there might have been survivors.
Scaling the rocks, I found a statue of that one Hindu goddess with the hundred hands (I don't remember which she is). I didn't think much of it at the time and continued upwards. While the shore level was faintly cold and overlooking snowcapped mountains, as I got higher the climate became increasingly temperate, and eventually near tropical, though comfortable and not stifling. I and the others (there were others, but they never did anything so I'm not going to mention them anymore) finally reached a plateau where we looked outward at the bay. It seemed a little brighter now, but the weather there overall seemed about the same as ever.
I continued onward along a path, and the surrounding foliage quickly turned into a rainforest, not overgrown, but spongy soil and surrounded by mosses and trees, both standing and fallen. There were others following the path too, several before and after me, and a series of switchbacks, north and south, as we continued to head upward. finally the northward path opened up into a granite path that had been eroded through the cliffside.
I followed it around and came to a small encampment, with a fence made of bamboo and several water collecting contraptions made of the same. The camp was operated by a troupe of what appeared to be Buddhist nuns, with shaven heads and dressed in maroon robes. The leader, a caucasian girl with glasses came out to greet me. She was not surprised to see me, but not entirely unwelcoming either, rather, she seemed strained, as though her responsibilities were recently becoming too much for her. She offered me tea and we sat by a small pool and talked at length. I remember nothing of our conversation.
I don't know, it might've been Shambala or something.
User
That was the best possible response, supes.
User
superjer said:
Unlike The Panteras (above) I was not fully adorned with facial hair when I was a little kid.
You're not even adorned now. You're lightly sprinkled. It's like that old toy they had for road trips where you had the cartoon face covered by a plastic bubble with a bunch of iron filings inside and a magnet, except most of your filings are missing. Jesus Christ am I talking to myself here?
Truck
User
Thanks atojamz.
Hooray, I'm smooth. Look out ladies!
Hooray, I'm smooth. Look out ladies!
Truck
User
I can buy that. In most of my dreams I'm not feeling much of anything. There have been a few when I was outright terrified, or had some other strong reaction to something, but mostly I'm not attached to anything emotionally, I'm just there and observing.
Truck
User
Nah, the "attempt to have sex with girl in dream" thing has only happened a few times, through a combination of lack of pretty girls and the inescapable need to figure out oh my god what the fuck is going on?
Truck
User
My friends, I have had a second dream!
Actually, this one is a little hazy as it happened yesterday morning and I didn't write it down immediately. Sucks for us all.
My dream was that I was in a small town, with its own university, that via some unidentified voodoo was being possessed by the old NES Super Mario Bros. game. How I came to this conclusion is difficult to say as almost nothing I saw had any identifiable connection to the legendary world of the Italian plumber. I did not see a single koopa or goomba the entire time, nor anything of that ilk. What I do remember is realizing the change as it came upon the town. I was walking along the road on top of a hill when I felt a blast of air in a wave, hitting me in the back. I turned around to see where it had came from, if anything, and saw nothing, but when I turned again, I saw that all the houses in the row had been replaced by black and white battlements carved out of marble, roughly the same size as one would expect the miniature castles at the end of each ordinary world to be, except aside from two stories, they were entirely of a different architecture. A repeating motif were flanges jutting out in waves from the roof, similar to what one would find on the tip of a venus flytrap, though much thicker. They would radiate outward from the columns as well, and in each garden there would usually be a pedestal, with one of these resting on top similar to a lily pad, and each flanged pad would contain a stone orb, roughly the size of a soccer ball if not slightly bigger. The houses would alternate, white and black all down the row, to the end of the hill, which curved around before setting into a marsh near the bay. No light or signs of life emitted from any of these houses, though there was obviously something unearthly about them, and faintly cold. Ivies would sometimes crawl and drape around the porticoes, but the houses themselves showed signs of neither use nor disuse, they merely were.
I passed a few of these, perhaps three or four, before I walked into one of them. In front of me was a dark staircase ascending, again, neither used nor disused, but merely there. I turned to my left into a small parlor with a grand piano, that opened up into a dining room at the far end. A dim chandelier hung idly from the ceiling. Near the piano, there was a table with a small clay dish that held a glowing orb. I touched this orb and a cloud of mist released, and as it spread around the room of its own mind, the world slowly dispersed and I was in reality again.
I decided to informer my employers about this, seeing as how I was some sort of amateur paranormalist or some such thing. My employers, in this case, were actually my real employers, the editor-in-chief for the magazine I work for and the editor of another magazine whom I also know. I met them in an abandoned building that resembled an office in design and a parking garage in aesthetics, for there was no electricity or windows, all was concrete, and the stains of water dripped down the sides. I spoke with them and they seemed intrigued by my findings, not surprised, but as though something added up in a certain way that had not yet been revealed to me. They encouraged me to continue my investigation. I looked out across the courtyard and saw a girl with long blond hair, dressed in blue, roughly twenty, not especially pretty but not unattractive either, smile at me and then enter a small shack that served no purpose I could tell. I was led away by the editor of the other magazine (quite the genial fellow, not the best listener) and we exited the building and crossed to the shack on the other side of the yard. He opened the door and allowed me to pass through, smiling and reminding me it was haunted, legends from some twenty years ago.
Inside, it was larger than it seemed. To my right was a stone staircase ascending upward into the darkness, improbable, as the shack was connected to nothing on that side. A young man in a khaki jacket and a backwards hat, with backpack, shoulder length greasy black hair and the stubble of a beard, nodded to me nervously, and then disappeared up the stairs. I looked ahead and saw another flight of stairs leading downward. As I reached the bottom, a stone panel slid shut behind me and ahead of me, as though revealing a grand prize in a game show, another panel slid open to a lighted room. I immediately realized that I had been transported twenty years into the past and was now stuck there.
The room was a small library with wooden cabinetry, dense, but by no means overwhelming or foreboding in its collection, for indeed the room was of a very ordinary size. At the wooden desk, there was a secretary, a woman of about twenty (much more attractive) with purple hair cut into a sort of asymmetrical bob, tanned and with light green eyes, she looked up at me from her task and then resumed writing. I continued inward and found another woman, middle aged, with dark eyes, glasses, and dirty blond hair shuffling through papers. As she did so, without a moments loss of concentration, gathered a large portion of her hair with her left hand and then produced a pair of scissors with her right and cut the handful off and then flipped another page. I peered around the corner into an adjoining room. and saw other people, a bald man in a white dress shirt, scanning books on a shelf. Behind him was another table, where people were studying documents, but behind the table, instead of a wall, there was a chainlink fence. The room was very bright, lit by an unseen source, but beyond the fence, darkness and darkness only.
I turned around to face the left side of the main room, which I had left unexamined on entering, and saw another stone panel slide away. The blond girl whom I had seen earlier leaned out, smiling secretly and holding a finger to pursed lips making a "sshhh" noise. She waved me through and I followed her out into daylight, and we got into a car (which I don't remember in the slightest. We drove out on a road, through lush green scenery, which did not obstruct the light in any way. On the sides of the road were clay slopes, not hills quite but more like oversized speed bumps which wound along the path with the road. Eventually, the road opened up to a park at the beach, with many picnickers in white, sandy volleyball courts, and kite flying beyond the trees. She led me to a drainage hole, looked down on it, smiled, and then looked up at me. There was a metal grate covering what appeared to have been a hole of some sorts, but it and all sides around it were filled with wet sand and dirt. I found a stick of gray driftwood, about the size of a walking cane, and struck the dirt between the grating, and the silt drained away like some grand plug had been pulled underneath it and now it could seep freely like water. I suspected in reality it was a warp pipe.
Then I heard my suitemates talking in the lounge and I woke up.
Actually, this one is a little hazy as it happened yesterday morning and I didn't write it down immediately. Sucks for us all.
My dream was that I was in a small town, with its own university, that via some unidentified voodoo was being possessed by the old NES Super Mario Bros. game. How I came to this conclusion is difficult to say as almost nothing I saw had any identifiable connection to the legendary world of the Italian plumber. I did not see a single koopa or goomba the entire time, nor anything of that ilk. What I do remember is realizing the change as it came upon the town. I was walking along the road on top of a hill when I felt a blast of air in a wave, hitting me in the back. I turned around to see where it had came from, if anything, and saw nothing, but when I turned again, I saw that all the houses in the row had been replaced by black and white battlements carved out of marble, roughly the same size as one would expect the miniature castles at the end of each ordinary world to be, except aside from two stories, they were entirely of a different architecture. A repeating motif were flanges jutting out in waves from the roof, similar to what one would find on the tip of a venus flytrap, though much thicker. They would radiate outward from the columns as well, and in each garden there would usually be a pedestal, with one of these resting on top similar to a lily pad, and each flanged pad would contain a stone orb, roughly the size of a soccer ball if not slightly bigger. The houses would alternate, white and black all down the row, to the end of the hill, which curved around before setting into a marsh near the bay. No light or signs of life emitted from any of these houses, though there was obviously something unearthly about them, and faintly cold. Ivies would sometimes crawl and drape around the porticoes, but the houses themselves showed signs of neither use nor disuse, they merely were.
I passed a few of these, perhaps three or four, before I walked into one of them. In front of me was a dark staircase ascending, again, neither used nor disused, but merely there. I turned to my left into a small parlor with a grand piano, that opened up into a dining room at the far end. A dim chandelier hung idly from the ceiling. Near the piano, there was a table with a small clay dish that held a glowing orb. I touched this orb and a cloud of mist released, and as it spread around the room of its own mind, the world slowly dispersed and I was in reality again.
I decided to informer my employers about this, seeing as how I was some sort of amateur paranormalist or some such thing. My employers, in this case, were actually my real employers, the editor-in-chief for the magazine I work for and the editor of another magazine whom I also know. I met them in an abandoned building that resembled an office in design and a parking garage in aesthetics, for there was no electricity or windows, all was concrete, and the stains of water dripped down the sides. I spoke with them and they seemed intrigued by my findings, not surprised, but as though something added up in a certain way that had not yet been revealed to me. They encouraged me to continue my investigation. I looked out across the courtyard and saw a girl with long blond hair, dressed in blue, roughly twenty, not especially pretty but not unattractive either, smile at me and then enter a small shack that served no purpose I could tell. I was led away by the editor of the other magazine (quite the genial fellow, not the best listener) and we exited the building and crossed to the shack on the other side of the yard. He opened the door and allowed me to pass through, smiling and reminding me it was haunted, legends from some twenty years ago.
Inside, it was larger than it seemed. To my right was a stone staircase ascending upward into the darkness, improbable, as the shack was connected to nothing on that side. A young man in a khaki jacket and a backwards hat, with backpack, shoulder length greasy black hair and the stubble of a beard, nodded to me nervously, and then disappeared up the stairs. I looked ahead and saw another flight of stairs leading downward. As I reached the bottom, a stone panel slid shut behind me and ahead of me, as though revealing a grand prize in a game show, another panel slid open to a lighted room. I immediately realized that I had been transported twenty years into the past and was now stuck there.
The room was a small library with wooden cabinetry, dense, but by no means overwhelming or foreboding in its collection, for indeed the room was of a very ordinary size. At the wooden desk, there was a secretary, a woman of about twenty (much more attractive) with purple hair cut into a sort of asymmetrical bob, tanned and with light green eyes, she looked up at me from her task and then resumed writing. I continued inward and found another woman, middle aged, with dark eyes, glasses, and dirty blond hair shuffling through papers. As she did so, without a moments loss of concentration, gathered a large portion of her hair with her left hand and then produced a pair of scissors with her right and cut the handful off and then flipped another page. I peered around the corner into an adjoining room. and saw other people, a bald man in a white dress shirt, scanning books on a shelf. Behind him was another table, where people were studying documents, but behind the table, instead of a wall, there was a chainlink fence. The room was very bright, lit by an unseen source, but beyond the fence, darkness and darkness only.
I turned around to face the left side of the main room, which I had left unexamined on entering, and saw another stone panel slide away. The blond girl whom I had seen earlier leaned out, smiling secretly and holding a finger to pursed lips making a "sshhh" noise. She waved me through and I followed her out into daylight, and we got into a car (which I don't remember in the slightest. We drove out on a road, through lush green scenery, which did not obstruct the light in any way. On the sides of the road were clay slopes, not hills quite but more like oversized speed bumps which wound along the path with the road. Eventually, the road opened up to a park at the beach, with many picnickers in white, sandy volleyball courts, and kite flying beyond the trees. She led me to a drainage hole, looked down on it, smiled, and then looked up at me. There was a metal grate covering what appeared to have been a hole of some sorts, but it and all sides around it were filled with wet sand and dirt. I found a stick of gray driftwood, about the size of a walking cane, and struck the dirt between the grating, and the silt drained away like some grand plug had been pulled underneath it and now it could seep freely like water. I suspected in reality it was a warp pipe.
Then I heard my suitemates talking in the lounge and I woke up.
Truck
User
**BAD IMAGE**
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User
Laptops are generally manufactured by the devil. There's no other explanation for Umi.
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User
Why would I lie to you? Well, other than for my own personal amusement.
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User
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User
DaveDays said:
Ok, tell us what the main goal of the counter terrorist is
Overcoming his sodium pentathol addiction.
Just kidding, it's actually iron dioxide or something crazy like that.
Truck
User
Well, it is hot.
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User
Let us now braise famous men...
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sprinkles said:
Sloth said:
All braise Sloth!
All braise Sloth!
User
Next mission: acquire a freight of everything different.
Right after I finish eating that phylum.
Right after I finish eating that phylum.
Truck
User
The only appropriate time to have the Mexican stache if you are not Mexican is on Cinco de Mustache.
User
Yeah. It's kind of a shitty end for him. He survived being nuked and doing any number of horrible other things and then ended up dying because he got eaten by a spider. It doesn't fit...
What's that?...
Superjer sucks.
What's that?...
Superjer sucks.
User
If he caught the SuperFlu, we'd all be fucked. And by we, I mean all of you and not really me because I apparently have some crazy natural immunity to the flu.
Anyway, it would all go down, New York would be a very shitty place to be, Randall Flagg would take Vegas, that other black lady would take Boulder I guess, and Vegas would get blown up because the Trashcan Man tends to like nukes or something.
Anyway, it would all go down, New York would be a very shitty place to be, Randall Flagg would take Vegas, that other black lady would take Boulder I guess, and Vegas would get blown up because the Trashcan Man tends to like nukes or something.
User
Did Supes get the swine flu?
Maybe it's because he wouldn't stop eating the pork
Maybe it's because he wouldn't stop eating the pork
Truck
User
You guys, I had a weird dream! Except I don't remember much of any of it, except I was in a skyscraper at night, in a really nice office with wood paneling, discussing the relative merits and disadvantages of wireless video game controllers with my father and my brother, who was twelve or something because he's always the age he was when I left home in my dreams. Eventually, we evacuated the building, going down many flights of stairs as dawn was breaking, and I kept seeing intricate hand-carved wood signs reading "If Robert sent you about the vampire problem, follow this way".
User
Truck
User
Only after eating each individual dick, which would be difficult, as it's a large bag. It's actually more of a burlap sack, if we're getting technical about it. This is not one of those vacuum-sealed foil bags of dicks that you find on the shelf in a drugstore.
Truck
User
I think aaronjer perhaps misspoke and came off the wrong way.
What he probably meant to say was "go eat a bag of dicks".
What he probably meant to say was "go eat a bag of dicks".
Truck
User
FYUSHUN BATS.
No one's going to get it, but it's more fun when there's a longer suspension and a sharper B. You gotta trust me on this one.
No one's going to get it, but it's more fun when there's a longer suspension and a sharper B. You gotta trust me on this one.
Truck
User
Maybe it was Samara/Sadako.
Most people's conceptions of an omnipotent being are dumb and possibly influenced by drugs. Mine is totally better and I'm willing to fight you about it.
I'm actually not willing to fight you about it it just seemed like the right thing to say
Most people's conceptions of an omnipotent being are dumb and possibly influenced by drugs. Mine is totally better and I'm willing to fight you about it.
I'm actually not willing to fight you about it it just seemed like the right thing to say
Truck
User
Everything seemed to be in order and time progressed in a linear manner, which is known to be HIGHLY UNUSUAL for my dreams.
And despite what Sloth would lead you to believe, there were no aboriginals, I was not in Australia, nor did I ingest hallucinogens and go on a spirit quest. Lies, all of them.
And despite what Sloth would lead you to believe, there were no aboriginals, I was not in Australia, nor did I ingest hallucinogens and go on a spirit quest. Lies, all of them.
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User
By my standard of dreams? Uneventful. It still had some of that ethereal quality to it but nothing out of the ordinary happened. I would walk the length of Manhattan unprovoked. It seems like a thing that I would do.
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User
I begin remembering the dream and it's already late at night, sometime between two and four in the morning and I am hopelessly awake. Bored by the general malaise of the sleepless night, I take to the streets and begin walking. I am in New York, as ever, and imagine myself to be in Manhattan, but it resembles more Queens, I imagine. There is a a sprawl of concrete in all directions. The buildings are perhaps no taller than five stories, and most much smaller. Parking lots litter what the eye can see, belonging to faint gathering places, bars, pool halls, and the like. It is December and the snow continually crackles underfoot.
I enter a bowling alley, looking for a drink to help pass the time. I sit down at a stool outside the bar and a friend turns to me and asks why I don't have a beer yet. I encounter various people from my university, ones that don't ordinarily associate with one another, but are united in my mind by the commonality that I know them. We drink little before the bar closes up for the night and we gather our things, joining the departing throng, leaving refuse scattered about the tables. I take a few steps out and realize that I'm missing my shoes, perhaps removed in anticipation of bowling. We return to the door and knock, and the Ukrainian family which owns the alley answers, having noticed the shoes themselves. They do not seem to mind my late intrusion, but seem themselves as exhausted as I feel. They follow me out, the building lightly picked up, and lock up after me.
It's getting on dawn, that slow mid-winter dawn that starts as one side of the horizon glowing in a wet and dusty blue. We realize how long we've been out and with daybreak we realize how hungry we've gotten. Nearby, there's a free-standing drive-in, advertising itself on both eggs and fries, of all combinations, but instead as we get there, it becomes apparent that there are no eggs, and instead its more a traditional fish and chips joint with an assortment of options, cod, salmon, some shrimp if you prefer. A few get the combo plates and I steal fries off their plates, feeling able to justify that but not the seafood.
In time, they all disperse, and I'm still hungry. The streetlights glisten over the snow and a few cars slush past, on their way to work or wherever cars go. I traverse the muck and make my way to a sidewalk along some smaller houses, more tokens of suburbia. I get on walking and walking and walking some more and pass a series of old-style diners, unrenovated since the fifties, along with a series of gas stations, each with their own idle globe sprung up like a dead weed in the yard, advertising their company, unlit and unspinning. I'm still hungry, but I get the urge to keep going. I have no idea where I am now, but figure as long as I'm up I may as well walk the length of Manhattan.
Then the fire alarm goes off and I wake up.
I enter a bowling alley, looking for a drink to help pass the time. I sit down at a stool outside the bar and a friend turns to me and asks why I don't have a beer yet. I encounter various people from my university, ones that don't ordinarily associate with one another, but are united in my mind by the commonality that I know them. We drink little before the bar closes up for the night and we gather our things, joining the departing throng, leaving refuse scattered about the tables. I take a few steps out and realize that I'm missing my shoes, perhaps removed in anticipation of bowling. We return to the door and knock, and the Ukrainian family which owns the alley answers, having noticed the shoes themselves. They do not seem to mind my late intrusion, but seem themselves as exhausted as I feel. They follow me out, the building lightly picked up, and lock up after me.
It's getting on dawn, that slow mid-winter dawn that starts as one side of the horizon glowing in a wet and dusty blue. We realize how long we've been out and with daybreak we realize how hungry we've gotten. Nearby, there's a free-standing drive-in, advertising itself on both eggs and fries, of all combinations, but instead as we get there, it becomes apparent that there are no eggs, and instead its more a traditional fish and chips joint with an assortment of options, cod, salmon, some shrimp if you prefer. A few get the combo plates and I steal fries off their plates, feeling able to justify that but not the seafood.
In time, they all disperse, and I'm still hungry. The streetlights glisten over the snow and a few cars slush past, on their way to work or wherever cars go. I traverse the muck and make my way to a sidewalk along some smaller houses, more tokens of suburbia. I get on walking and walking and walking some more and pass a series of old-style diners, unrenovated since the fifties, along with a series of gas stations, each with their own idle globe sprung up like a dead weed in the yard, advertising their company, unlit and unspinning. I'm still hungry, but I get the urge to keep going. I have no idea where I am now, but figure as long as I'm up I may as well walk the length of Manhattan.
Then the fire alarm goes off and I wake up.
User
So, apparently the good people at EDpfft hahaha are going for the noxious in addition to aggressive connotations of the word "offensive" because I couldn't get very far before I wanted to throw up. because seriously, grapefruitcat?
User
SRAW said:
dude u dont need consent from edan, and im glad he left this site, hes just another user but some dude decided to make him admin and he started abusing his powers like the faggotjew he is
Also, we like kittens. Stop this shit, internet. Back off the lolcats too while you're at it.
User
aaronjer said:
NatureJay said:
aaronjer said:
Okay, you guys are annoying the crap out of me. The democrats do the exact same thing when a republican is in power. Don't complain about one party, complain about 'politicians'.
Aaronjer, that's not true and you know it.
Democrats don't pray for republican presidents to get cancer. They're fucking godless commies.
Nuh-uh. The Democrats are sacrificing aborted babies to their pagan gods. They're not godless, they're just heathens.
Touche, atojams, touche.
I hear that the the new health care bill is at least one thousand pages long. It's hard to imagine that much of anything gets done over there.
User
aaronjer said:
Okay, you guys are annoying the crap out of me. The democrats do the exact same thing when a republican is in power. Don't complain about one party, complain about 'politicians'.
Aaronjer, that's not true and you know it.
Democrats don't pray for republican presidents to get cancer. They're fucking godless commies.
Truck
User
Orihime!
User
That's my only owl .gif, but mind you, it's my best one.
I don't know, I think it has it all going on. One is about to choke down a tasty rodent, another can't stop talking/laughing, and the third and fourth ones stare out soullessly until they decide they're going to cross over, which is somehow worse than anything else they could have decided to do.
I feel like this encapsulates the owl experience.
Also this:
I don't know, I think it has it all going on. One is about to choke down a tasty rodent, another can't stop talking/laughing, and the third and fourth ones stare out soullessly until they decide they're going to cross over, which is somehow worse than anything else they could have decided to do.
I feel like this encapsulates the owl experience.
Also this:
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aaronjer said:
Wasn't there a movie where baseball and ghosts were meshed together before?
Field of Dreams? I've never seen it.
aaronjer said:
And I had hard time understanding what you were describing around the "crucifixion." Was it you that was crucified? And how did you get down?
It was me getting crucified for some reason and I got down because they did it all with magnets and after the magnets let up gravity took over. It's hard to describe, crucifixion was as close as I came because my arms were stretched out on both sides and I was in the air being poked (not not impaled) with sharp metal things.
Truck
User
You guys, I had a completely retarded dream last night that I don't remember the bulk of, except that most of it took place on or near a boat, which is funny because I'll be on a boatmotherfuckers next week.
There are only a couple of things that I remember about the very beginning. I remember being on a dock at night looking at a set of buildings that had glass facades and ramps leading up and down inside (ones that shouldn't have been on a small island), and I rememmber a covered overpass, and some other ramps with pink flowers. I was thinking about juxtaposing the two in a modern art project but instead I drew a big cartoony eye and then showed it to everyone because that's how fucking stupid I was.
The second part of the dream was a bit different. I remember two basic features of it:
1) I was at my dad's house, in my old room, which hasn't been my room for fifteen years, and discovered that a demon had taken up residence there and was being kept as pet. It would routinely turn into horrible shapes, like a giant pit in the center of the bed which would have blood dripping from the sides and ribcages and contorted heads poking out of it, except it wasn't really horrifying because it was only doing this to get attention, at which point we would throw a bunch of puppies and kittens at it and it would become overjoyed. It wouldn't do anything with them, it just sat there making this laughing noise. It's like it didn't realize it was supposed to be scary.
2) There was a friend of mine who was trying to fuck me, except for some reason she was really overweight in the dream and I was kind of put off by that.
ANYWAY.... So, I was on the docks or something and somehow got caught up in some crazy ritual to resurrect the spirit of a dead serial killer because isn't that how it always goes? It's strange because a) it resembled a crucifixion b) there were magnets involved and c) there was no vertical plank, in fact, it was just a horizontal metal pipe and instead of nails there were millions of tiny needles pinning my arms and blood and such. Well whatever it was did the trick because, enter evil spirit, at which point I told the girl that I'm probably going to have to handle this one alone and she smiled and said okay, going on her merry way.
How we ended up trapping the resurrected ghost is a bit hazy to me, but I remember that we killed it in the pantry of a Mexican restaurant and it splattered into ectoplasm which got over everything. Nevertheless, we celebrated by having tacos. Did I mention that I was with other people? Yes, they were physical manifestations of various years in the careers of major league baseball pitchers. That was terribly significant. So, we celebrated by having tacos covered in malignant ectoplasm while riding around on a boat and I guess I was the only one who really grasped that this was probably a bad idea because I took two bites and then threw the tacos overboard. Immediately afterward, I saw the grim reaper next to me [actually it was Barragan's released form from Bleach but we're kind of splitting hairs there] and he descended into the water. From the water emerged a black guy who sort of looked like Shaft but had crazy eyes and he pulled a knife out of his cloak and attached a list of all the people he killed to the side of the boat using nothing but knife slashes. I pretty much decided to high tail it from there and so I jumped into the water and swam for the other shore, following various sports writers because yes the baseball theme was continuing. I looked back at one point and there was a major league umpire trying to argue with the ghost that his conduct was unsportsmanlike and the ghost slit him from ear to ear. On the other shore, there were a bunch of mascots waiting around listening to the ghost screaming crazy shit and then they all eagerly hit the water and started swimming in that direction. Some might think that they were wanting to stop this nonsense but the belief I held at the time is that they all had a desperate deathwish because most mascots deserve to die anyway.
And that was the dream I had! Less Mexican food before bed, right?
There are only a couple of things that I remember about the very beginning. I remember being on a dock at night looking at a set of buildings that had glass facades and ramps leading up and down inside (ones that shouldn't have been on a small island), and I rememmber a covered overpass, and some other ramps with pink flowers. I was thinking about juxtaposing the two in a modern art project but instead I drew a big cartoony eye and then showed it to everyone because that's how fucking stupid I was.
The second part of the dream was a bit different. I remember two basic features of it:
1) I was at my dad's house, in my old room, which hasn't been my room for fifteen years, and discovered that a demon had taken up residence there and was being kept as pet. It would routinely turn into horrible shapes, like a giant pit in the center of the bed which would have blood dripping from the sides and ribcages and contorted heads poking out of it, except it wasn't really horrifying because it was only doing this to get attention, at which point we would throw a bunch of puppies and kittens at it and it would become overjoyed. It wouldn't do anything with them, it just sat there making this laughing noise. It's like it didn't realize it was supposed to be scary.
2) There was a friend of mine who was trying to fuck me, except for some reason she was really overweight in the dream and I was kind of put off by that.
ANYWAY.... So, I was on the docks or something and somehow got caught up in some crazy ritual to resurrect the spirit of a dead serial killer because isn't that how it always goes? It's strange because a) it resembled a crucifixion b) there were magnets involved and c) there was no vertical plank, in fact, it was just a horizontal metal pipe and instead of nails there were millions of tiny needles pinning my arms and blood and such. Well whatever it was did the trick because, enter evil spirit, at which point I told the girl that I'm probably going to have to handle this one alone and she smiled and said okay, going on her merry way.
How we ended up trapping the resurrected ghost is a bit hazy to me, but I remember that we killed it in the pantry of a Mexican restaurant and it splattered into ectoplasm which got over everything. Nevertheless, we celebrated by having tacos. Did I mention that I was with other people? Yes, they were physical manifestations of various years in the careers of major league baseball pitchers. That was terribly significant. So, we celebrated by having tacos covered in malignant ectoplasm while riding around on a boat and I guess I was the only one who really grasped that this was probably a bad idea because I took two bites and then threw the tacos overboard. Immediately afterward, I saw the grim reaper next to me [actually it was Barragan's released form from Bleach but we're kind of splitting hairs there] and he descended into the water. From the water emerged a black guy who sort of looked like Shaft but had crazy eyes and he pulled a knife out of his cloak and attached a list of all the people he killed to the side of the boat using nothing but knife slashes. I pretty much decided to high tail it from there and so I jumped into the water and swam for the other shore, following various sports writers because yes the baseball theme was continuing. I looked back at one point and there was a major league umpire trying to argue with the ghost that his conduct was unsportsmanlike and the ghost slit him from ear to ear. On the other shore, there were a bunch of mascots waiting around listening to the ghost screaming crazy shit and then they all eagerly hit the water and started swimming in that direction. Some might think that they were wanting to stop this nonsense but the belief I held at the time is that they all had a desperate deathwish because most mascots deserve to die anyway.
And that was the dream I had! Less Mexican food before bed, right?
User
I think you're all missing the point here.
eDan has OWLS
eDan has OWLS
User
No, you stole your old avatar from Elenkos because that's what you were doing at the time and you don't remember it because you're retarded.
Truck
User
aaronjer said:
I'll let Crytax field this one.
He'll probably just have it bounce out of his glove, then trip over it and start bawling like a fucking sissy, and someone else will have to field it. Two runs will score and we will lose.
User
Yeah, there's a depot on the northwest end of Long Island. I'm not of liberty to disclose exactly where, as our employees are on loan from Riker's, but there's a reason why flights get delayed out of LaGuardia all the time.
User
Well, seems like the tornado wranglers botched a job. We usually to protect against civilian involvement in these sorts of things, but there's no reason I can't run some tests and maybe practice a few maneuvers.
User
Actually, that's not true, but they are not a team as such, more of a tradition since the 19th century. It all began on the Arabian Peninsula. Pole socking pioneer, Lord Dyngedraefend of Cumbria, was taking time off from his diplomatic duties to engage in the sport, which at that time was solely reserved for noblemen of his stature.
A trip to al-Nefud to test his hammer the night before the tourney was to begin turned sour, as high winds destroyed all visibility and hope for navigation by starlight. Eventually, a twister picked him up and carried him for several hours before dropping him in the far south by the edge of the Empty Quarter.
A pack of bedouins, who witness his fall, picked him up and carried him back to their camp where they provided him water and simple bedding for the night. In the morning, he awoke with a start and seeing that a northward tornado was forming that would carry him through the Dahna, thanked the nomads for their company and pursued the storm, hammer raised into the air. The tribesmen, so taken with their strange traveler, followed him northward to the site of the championship, where they subtly changed the outcome of the game until the good Lord's company won a hard-fought battle.
Since that time, whenever there has been a polesocking tournament, vagrants and nomads from around the world have caught word of it, as though on the wind. They all gathered at the site in the hopes of participating, though they were not legally sanctioned until somewhat recently. As the House of Dyngedraefend has preferred to orchestrate from the sidelines instead of playing for some time now, the preferences of the nomad are notoriously fickle, and they seem to only form loose affiliation with whoever best embodies the qualities of the valiant man of their campfire stories.
A trip to al-Nefud to test his hammer the night before the tourney was to begin turned sour, as high winds destroyed all visibility and hope for navigation by starlight. Eventually, a twister picked him up and carried him for several hours before dropping him in the far south by the edge of the Empty Quarter.
A pack of bedouins, who witness his fall, picked him up and carried him back to their camp where they provided him water and simple bedding for the night. In the morning, he awoke with a start and seeing that a northward tornado was forming that would carry him through the Dahna, thanked the nomads for their company and pursued the storm, hammer raised into the air. The tribesmen, so taken with their strange traveler, followed him northward to the site of the championship, where they subtly changed the outcome of the game until the good Lord's company won a hard-fought battle.
Since that time, whenever there has been a polesocking tournament, vagrants and nomads from around the world have caught word of it, as though on the wind. They all gathered at the site in the hopes of participating, though they were not legally sanctioned until somewhat recently. As the House of Dyngedraefend has preferred to orchestrate from the sidelines instead of playing for some time now, the preferences of the nomad are notoriously fickle, and they seem to only form loose affiliation with whoever best embodies the qualities of the valiant man of their campfire stories.
Truck
User
I think that was actually too stupid to be considered a pun.
Punning was considered high art back in the day, you know.
Punning was considered high art back in the day, you know.
Truck
User
But, but, he showed up in the spirit of goodwill221!
User
Well, you covered some of the basic elements, so I thought you could just extrapolate from there. It's very difficult to become proficient in it without extrapolating.
User
Havokk Edge said:
First its a sport then storm chasing then its the army kinda of deal..then doomsday? WTF IS POLESOCKING????
Yes.
User
The new pole socking logo is very representative.
I'm not sure how I feel about that.
I'm not sure how I feel about that.
Truck
User
WHAT ARE YOU
User
It depends on what you want to do. It's easy to get an in if your entire village is conscripted into forced participation, but harder to get noticed because you're competing with all the other dregs for mundane tasks such as pole straightening, hammer polishing, and cannon fodder. They don't even trust you with the upkeep of dune buggies until you're at least a level 5 dreg, and that could take years, depending on turnover. There's a chance if you aren't paralyzed within the first three months.
The nomads are more egalitarian, but they only tend to trust their fellow nomen and usually you have to do something to prove yourself to them, in which case you'd probably be capable of being at least a one stripe in a team or coalition. You'd still be in a support role, maybe low-level ballistics, nothing too fancy, we're talking maybe 500 ft diameter craters, tops, but it's something.
The nomads are more egalitarian, but they only tend to trust their fellow nomen and usually you have to do something to prove yourself to them, in which case you'd probably be capable of being at least a one stripe in a team or coalition. You'd still be in a support role, maybe low-level ballistics, nothing too fancy, we're talking maybe 500 ft diameter craters, tops, but it's something.
User
I'm disappointed to see how many people seem to forget about pole socking in the offseason, since it is something that affects the lives of millions. If pole socking were a sovereign nation*, it would have the fifth-largest GNP, the eight-largest GDP, and second-largest KGB.
* It has tried twice now, once in the Balkans and once east of the Caspian Sea, and we've seen how THAT worked out
* It has tried twice now, once in the Balkans and once east of the Caspian Sea, and we've seen how THAT worked out
User
FUCK YES.
IT IS TIME FOR POLE SOCKING.
IT IS TIME FOR POLE SOCKING.
Truck
User
aaronjer said:
That is NOT a how to make a Trapsassin guide, that is some kind of sick joke to torment noobs with.
That guide was last updated in 2001. It may have been viable eight years ago, but not now.
cloudy, why do you shame us so?
Truck
User
Uh, it's just improv/making shit up. I mean, thanks and all, but yeah.
Yes, BEE Crusades are coming. BEE WARE... the bees aren't.
I really wanted to make a double pun but I think I might be too stupid today.
I mean, thanks and all, but yeah.
Yes, BEE Crusades are coming. BEE WARE... the bees aren't.
I really wanted to make a double pun but I think I might be too stupid today.
Truck
User
And here is another local news instance where it was not a bear, with tragic consequences.
Truck
User
Oh, and because it ought to be said.
Holy Bee Jesus.
Holy Bee Jesus.
Truck
User
I don't know what we'd do if you weren't around to fail in interesting ways.
Truck
User
the_cloud_system said:
O_o
00:01:12 UTC
the_cloud_system said:
newbee
02:16:59 UTC
NatureJay said:
NEW BEE?
02:17:05 UTC
NatureJay said:
OH MY GOD!
02:17:15 UTC
NatureJay said:
The old bee was terrifying enough, but what now?
02:20:45 UTC
NatureJay said:
Is it like this? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killer_bee or like this? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asian_giant_hornet
02:32:27 UTC
the_cloud_system said:
lol
02:32:41 UTC
the_cloud_system said:
just a new person on
02:32:58 UTC
phoenix_r said:
There are people on this new bee?
02:33:02 UTC
phoenix_r said:
It must be huge!
02:33:11 UTC
the_cloud_system said:
...yesd
02:35:48 UTC
NatureJay said:
How poisonous is it?
02:36:03 UTC
NatureJay said:
Will.... will it tear us apart with its mandibles?
02:36:22 UTC
the_cloud_system said:
if god wills it
02:36:26 UTC
NatureJay said:
Or is it a friendly? Like a big terrifying striped school bus with wings?
02:36:55 UTC
NatureJay said:
If God wills that I shall get torn apart by giant mandibles, so bee it.
02:37:16 UTC
the_cloud_system said:
thay call my jesus
02:37:23 UTC
the_cloud_system said:
and I WILL IT
02:37:30 UTC
the_cloud_system said:
me*
02:38:30 UTC
NatureJay said:
The bees have a Jesus now? Holy fucking shit. I mean, first it was the sharks and the tortoises and maybe some kind of robin, but there's now a Bee Savior?
02:38:37 UTC
NatureJay said:
Fucking hell.
02:39:10 UTC
NatureJay said:
Just wait 'til they start fighting with the yellowjackets and and hornets wasps over the Bee Holy Land.
02:39:15 UTC
NatureJay said:
Fucking Bee Crusades.
02:39:22 UTC
NatureJay said:
That's going to be a goddamned nightmare.
02:39:45 UTC
the_cloud_system said:
just you wate
02:40:42 UTC
NatureJay said:
If I'm going to be Bee Saved, I'd rather Bee Done with it now.
02:40:55 UTC
the_cloud_system said:
And the gates of heaven have been found on earth.
02:40:58 UTC
NatureJay said:
The holy light better not be some bad neurotoxin trip.
02:41:17 UTC
the_cloud_system said:
OPEN THE BEEES GOD WILLS IT
02:41:38 UTC
NatureJay said:
I BEE-LIEVE
02:41:49 UTC
the_cloud_system said:
EVERY BODY WANG CHUNG TONIGHT!!
02:42:08 UTC
the_cloud_system said:
And that would happen in Florida.
02:42:45 UTC
NatureJay said:
I believe Wang Chunging is classified as sodomy in some parts of the South.
O_o
00:01:12 UTC
the_cloud_system said:
newbee
02:16:59 UTC
NatureJay said:
NEW BEE?
02:17:05 UTC
NatureJay said:
OH MY GOD!
02:17:15 UTC
NatureJay said:
The old bee was terrifying enough, but what now?
02:20:45 UTC
NatureJay said:
Is it like this? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killer_bee or like this? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asian_giant_hornet
02:32:27 UTC
the_cloud_system said:
lol
02:32:41 UTC
the_cloud_system said:
just a new person on
02:32:58 UTC
phoenix_r said:
There are people on this new bee?
02:33:02 UTC
phoenix_r said:
It must be huge!
02:33:11 UTC
the_cloud_system said:
...yesd
02:35:48 UTC
NatureJay said:
How poisonous is it?
02:36:03 UTC
NatureJay said:
Will.... will it tear us apart with its mandibles?
02:36:22 UTC
the_cloud_system said:
if god wills it
02:36:26 UTC
NatureJay said:
Or is it a friendly? Like a big terrifying striped school bus with wings?
02:36:55 UTC
NatureJay said:
If God wills that I shall get torn apart by giant mandibles, so bee it.
02:37:16 UTC
the_cloud_system said:
thay call my jesus
02:37:23 UTC
the_cloud_system said:
and I WILL IT
02:37:30 UTC
the_cloud_system said:
me*
02:38:30 UTC
NatureJay said:
The bees have a Jesus now? Holy fucking shit. I mean, first it was the sharks and the tortoises and maybe some kind of robin, but there's now a Bee Savior?
02:38:37 UTC
NatureJay said:
Fucking hell.
02:39:10 UTC
NatureJay said:
Just wait 'til they start fighting with the yellowjackets and and hornets wasps over the Bee Holy Land.
02:39:15 UTC
NatureJay said:
Fucking Bee Crusades.
02:39:22 UTC
NatureJay said:
That's going to be a goddamned nightmare.
02:39:45 UTC
the_cloud_system said:
just you wate
02:40:42 UTC
NatureJay said:
If I'm going to be Bee Saved, I'd rather Bee Done with it now.
02:40:55 UTC
the_cloud_system said:
And the gates of heaven have been found on earth.
02:40:58 UTC
NatureJay said:
The holy light better not be some bad neurotoxin trip.
02:41:17 UTC
the_cloud_system said:
OPEN THE BEEES GOD WILLS IT
02:41:38 UTC
NatureJay said:
I BEE-LIEVE
02:41:49 UTC
the_cloud_system said:
EVERY BODY WANG CHUNG TONIGHT!!
02:42:08 UTC
the_cloud_system said:
And that would happen in Florida.
02:42:45 UTC
NatureJay said:
I believe Wang Chunging is classified as sodomy in some parts of the South.
User
Patrick Stewart face-palming.
User
(sigh) goddamnit. I don't want to be JMD and explain the joke here because it's especially not funny.
User
Man, you guys, this is serious. I mean, I'm not dying over here, but I could be, and you wouldn't know it. I could be all "hurk, superjer, need saline please" and then bang my head on the keyboard all bhkgkdmnfakl;dsfj and you would have no idea that I didn't have some awful Minotaur Flu that infects both humans and cattle and magical monsters. You would have no idea at all! So stop being so insensitive to my needs.
Truck
User
It's actually supposed to be Jordan's Stone, but they poorly translated it from the Japanese. It's an extremely rare item, but if you find it and give it to Jordan when you meet him in the sixth act, he'll give you a class-specific super unique item set, five free skill points, and enough experience to make you gain three levels. It's no surprise that they're so eagerly sought.
Truck
User
No. That was it. I don't remember that so I was worried that you were slipping.
User
Don't tell me you sold out of it already! Man, there must really be a market for it...
I don't get back until August 15th or so, so you have a month and a half, accompanied by roughly three weeks until I have to leave again.
Oh, and if you were the one who was talking like I was going to be back for the LAN party this weekend, aaronjer wants to have words with you. And by have words I mean flay and eviscerate. There probably won't be many words involved. Not intelligible ones at least.
I don't get back until August 15th or so, so you have a month and a half, accompanied by roughly three weeks until I have to leave again.
Oh, and if you were the one who was talking like I was going to be back for the LAN party this weekend, aaronjer wants to have words with you. And by have words I mean flay and eviscerate. There probably won't be many words involved. Not intelligible ones at least.
Truck
User
Jake?! said:
You can die in dreams if you're ALREADY DEAD.
See? Jake?! understands the loopholes.
User
jrkookid said:
Unless you check the ingredients and it is actually there then you would be paying for it.
(sigh)
You clearly don't know how this works. I mean, I'm not going to test The Product on-site, even though I probably should, but I am going to at least scrutinize it carefully. I'm not buying from him blind. This is too important.
Truck
User
It comes and goes. Sometimes I'm playing an active part and then something kills me and I stay on and observe a while. The old trope about not being able to die in dreams is bullroar. Or maybe I'm the exception. Whatever.
Truck
User
I don't remember how exactly I got there, but I was on a vacation overseas. The peculiar thing about it was that everyone spoke English and there were a great deal of tourists in an area that I wouldn't anticipate either. We were in the middle of the desert, bright with salt flats stretching to the horizons where some low, rugged hills circumscribed the field of vision. The facilities were old, ranging from 1970s to around the wild west area (all the more peculiar since this was not the west, but somewhere in the middle east).
One thing they had going for it was mass transportation, which was not only convenient but entirely free. Nevertheless, the mode was a bit unusual. There was a central platform of concrete and plexiglas, with a few freestanding lightposts, but no cover. Still, I never noticed the heat even though all else was heavy with light. At regular intervals, something akin to a catwalk on wheels (a large metal grate) would roll up on the tracks and some people would step on, holding onto the central poles (it was not enclosed) and away they went. Not really thinking about it, I stepped on the first platform I saw and we began to speed through the desert.
Night started to fall and we reached the outskirts of some town, run down, a few power stations and nothing more. The tram slowed to a halt without any shuddering or audible noise, then realigned to another track which shot into the air at roughly a 30% incline. The track did not seem to have any ground supports and I regarded this with some mild wonder. We soon reached a cliff and proceeded in front of a large graveyard, again looking as though it came out of some other century, save for the fact that there were no wooden crosses. In front of each headstone, there was a small grouping of candles in small glass dishes. The hillside was filled with them and the procession went on for some five minutes before we turned. I wonder why a place which would otherwise be valued for such a view of the surrounding desert would be used simply for graves, but we soon turned and continued on up into the town proper.
The tram pulled up and stopped in a supermarket that was poorly lit and seemed to have gone a few decades without improvement or renovation. Save for the fact that it had train running through it, it was otherwise fairly ordinary. I met an old man there who was quite eager to chat, but what we spoke of, I'm no longer able to remember. I think it might have been ice cream. In the cold foods section I kept seeing packages of bacon, and I continually thought to myself how strange it was as this was the middle east, somewhere, and bacon is not an acceptable food there so far as I knew.
One thing they had going for it was mass transportation, which was not only convenient but entirely free. Nevertheless, the mode was a bit unusual. There was a central platform of concrete and plexiglas, with a few freestanding lightposts, but no cover. Still, I never noticed the heat even though all else was heavy with light. At regular intervals, something akin to a catwalk on wheels (a large metal grate) would roll up on the tracks and some people would step on, holding onto the central poles (it was not enclosed) and away they went. Not really thinking about it, I stepped on the first platform I saw and we began to speed through the desert.
Night started to fall and we reached the outskirts of some town, run down, a few power stations and nothing more. The tram slowed to a halt without any shuddering or audible noise, then realigned to another track which shot into the air at roughly a 30% incline. The track did not seem to have any ground supports and I regarded this with some mild wonder. We soon reached a cliff and proceeded in front of a large graveyard, again looking as though it came out of some other century, save for the fact that there were no wooden crosses. In front of each headstone, there was a small grouping of candles in small glass dishes. The hillside was filled with them and the procession went on for some five minutes before we turned. I wonder why a place which would otherwise be valued for such a view of the surrounding desert would be used simply for graves, but we soon turned and continued on up into the town proper.
The tram pulled up and stopped in a supermarket that was poorly lit and seemed to have gone a few decades without improvement or renovation. Save for the fact that it had train running through it, it was otherwise fairly ordinary. I met an old man there who was quite eager to chat, but what we spoke of, I'm no longer able to remember. I think it might have been ice cream. In the cold foods section I kept seeing packages of bacon, and I continually thought to myself how strange it was as this was the middle east, somewhere, and bacon is not an acceptable food there so far as I knew.
Truck
User
aaronjer said:
You're goddamn right it's not a bear. Don't ANYONE imply that it is, either. I will gut you from groin to grin, reach in and out your asshole, grab your legs and wrench them back through!
aaronjer
User
the_cloud_system said:
nondluted epsonsalt
Jesus christ that's going to burn like hell.
That better not be the case superjer that's not what I'm paying for
User
What are we talking about here? Is it a bicarbonate/chloride mix or something else? What ratio? Is it pre-diluted or not? I'm going to need to know.
Truck
User
Excellent, DR!
We now officially have a bear, or emphatically not a bear truck.
We now officially have a bear, or emphatically not a bear truck.
Truck
User
http://www.fox8.com/search/wjw-blackbear-1007,0,3269543.worldnowvideo
Too two-dimensional for one thing.
Too two-dimensional for one thing.
Truck
User
We also need to find that Archer cover of "Sugar, Sugar" that had Superjer doing backup vocals.
So much from the Former Sovjet Umen has been lost
So much from the Former Sovjet Umen has been lost
Truck
User
Do we have an upload on YouTube of that time when MikeJer ran up the stairs into the entire enemy team, headshot one of them, and then ran away?
Because that was classy.
Because that was classy.
Truck
User
aaronjer said:
NatureJay said:
This truck is parked. Down Rodeo won.
Get the fuck up, THIS TRUCK IS REAL!
Fuck grass, I'm on the road, mothafucka!
Fuck trees, I climb lightposts, mothafucka!
I'm at the wheel with mah boys, mothafucka!
This truck's engine make noise, mothafucka!
Believe me when I say... I fucked a traffic cop? I dunno... sorta stops working there.
This is funny because I was wondering about a month ago when you would make a reference to this.
Truck
User
This truck is parked. Down Rodeo won.
Truck
User
Down Rodeo said:
There is no cow level.
That's cheating
Truck
User
No, he wasn't able to catch them all and now the song reminds him of his crippling failure. <3
<3
Truck
User
This was a donation box that appeared at Shari's one Friday. I think it was gone within three weeks but we're pretty sure no one looked at it before it was sent out. Curiously, horseporn predates it
Truck
User
Down Rodeo said:
That's... Ameritarded.
But it was made by the Japanese so....
Jappanu.
Truck
User
I've actually known about it for several months now, but it's been sitting in the tabs of my web browser uselessly taking up space so I thought I'd share.
I'm not very good with the internet
I'm not very good with the internet
Truck
User
Quote:
Michael Wilson is the President of The United States, a relative of some kind of Woodrow Wilson as a parallel to the real life presidency of George W. Bush of the time of the game's release[1]. Vice President Richard Hawk (a play on the term War Hawk, and possibly a parody of Dick Cheney's influence) decides to usurp Wilson's presidency, shifts the armed forces' loyalty to him and attacks Wilson with their support.
However, Wilson escapes from the White House in his powered armor, and after reaching Air Force One flies to the west coast of the United States. He then starts to take America back by liberating cities and outposts going from west to east.
When Wilson returns to the White House, Hawk isn't there. Wilson discovers that he's in Las Vegas and goes there to fight his usurper, but he escapes in a rocket and goes to a space station. Wilson and Hawk battle in space, with the President ultimately saving the United States of America from nuclear destruction and destroying his enemy.
However, Wilson escapes from the White House in his powered armor, and after reaching Air Force One flies to the west coast of the United States. He then starts to take America back by liberating cities and outposts going from west to east.
When Wilson returns to the White House, Hawk isn't there. Wilson discovers that he's in Las Vegas and goes there to fight his usurper, but he escapes in a rocket and goes to a space station. Wilson and Hawk battle in space, with the President ultimately saving the United States of America from nuclear destruction and destroying his enemy.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metal_Wolf_Chaos
Truck
User
Havokk Edge said:
NatureJay said:
stairs
wooo-ooo, wooo-ooo, naturejay, he needs to get more than five hours of sleep at some point, wooo-ooo
Truck
User
Truck
User
Good answer. It's the preachy and the militant edgers that get to me.
Also, Sharpie ink is not really safe, so I privately laugh at the X's.
Also, Sharpie ink is not really safe, so I privately laugh at the X's.
User
fedex _ said:
man u got a strange name lol .. falling shit
I don't know what's so strange about it. Shit's gotta go somewhere and it's better that it not go up.
Truck
User
Havokk Edge said:
You May say that i will change my mind but thats just you being a dick.
Yup. A dick who claimed to be straight edge around sixteen and had other friends who claimed to be straight edge around the same age.
Then I started running into douchebags who were such hardcore edgers that they would beat the shit out of people leaving bars just to prove whatever twisted point they had.
Both sides are worthless, as far as I'm concerned.
Truck
User
Don't worry folks, Superjer will eventually do something, having exhausted all other options.
Truck
User
Havokk Edge said:
Ya Im Straight Edge....so...fuck off. :)
Everyone is a Straight Edge when they're sixteen. You'll get over it in a few years.
User
jrkookid said:
卐
Did kookid just achieve bankai?
um.
I wish they still had that Aztec sport where the losers were sacrificed.
Truck
User
aaronjer said:
Why is it exactly that Dave's signature is about collages? I mean... that's something the only dumb, artistic girls ... are generally into.
I remember them! Central used to be full of them. Probably still is on some level and I just stopped seeing them, but I noticed a lot more high school kids and such showing up in recent years.
They usually had bad haircuts and weren't half as clever as they thought they were. Then again, the same could be said for most people!
oh, and d2 and civ4 at some point.
Truck
User
Zomg. We should totally play Civ 4 over the internets. We could be on a team on the biggest map, and then I could do my turtling/research thing while supplying you with the military technologies to take over the world and be really mean to the civilization of our choice. I think I mopped the floor with the Portugeuse last time... or was it the Zulus?... The Zulus can be scary. Anyway. We should do it.
Alternatively, we could fight it out and I could die because turtling never works.
Alternatively, we could fight it out and I could die because turtling never works.
Truck
User
We'll do that one of these days. Probably not for another two to three weeks though. Because holy crap am I busy.
Truck
User
Either Zookeeper or Trapsassin. I'll make a good one, some day.
Truck
User
the_cloud_system said:
kk im also working on me palley
im saving up till levil 18 then im going to use hammer!!!
im saving up till levil 18 then im going to use hammer!!!
H-H-HAMMER?
HAMMER!
Truck
User
Map hax work if you don't care about anything else going on in the game and just want to rush and get lootz.
martial arts assassins blow. use a trapsassin. get the first fire trap leveled up, and use the death and lightning sentries and get the synergies from there. some of the other skills are not entirely useless (teh hammre?), but get a shadow warrior not a master if you use one at all.
martial arts assassins blow. use a trapsassin. get the first fire trap leveled up, and use the death and lightning sentries and get the synergies from there. some of the other skills are not entirely useless (teh hammre?), but get a shadow warrior not a master if you use one at all.
Truck
User
The sloth has a compartmentalized stomach used to digest assorted foliage and insects, but it's terribly inefficient and does not generate much energy and can take up to a week to fully break anything down (hence the lack of poopin').
Ground sloths may have gone extinct as recently as 1550 when they disappeared from various islands in the Caribbean. Like many other megafauna, they were hunted to extinction by humans, though rumors persist that they are still among us, in the deepest Amazon, using computers and plotting.
The top two causes of death among Costa Rican sloths are poachers and power lines.
This has been a sporadic update on the inner lives of sloths. Tune in some other time when I will either cull more facts from the internet or lie to you for my own personal amusement.
Ground sloths may have gone extinct as recently as 1550 when they disappeared from various islands in the Caribbean. Like many other megafauna, they were hunted to extinction by humans, though rumors persist that they are still among us, in the deepest Amazon, using computers and plotting.
The top two causes of death among Costa Rican sloths are poachers and power lines.
This has been a sporadic update on the inner lives of sloths. Tune in some other time when I will either cull more facts from the internet or lie to you for my own personal amusement.
User
Havokk Edge said:
I just realized its always the admins that leave..Mello and edan and superjer
It's like earning tenure. You get to go on a sabbatical every now and then.
Now, if they made me a mod, obviously the first thing I would do is leave for a few months.
User
Jake kweschinne ecsclamayshun said:
lessthan threeEdanexclamation exclamation exclamation
Truck
User
Your mom uses the internet.
Truck
User
Oh no, it seems that I am better than both of you but still probably not as good as some other people who will post theirs later.
Truck
User
the_cloud_system said:
phoenix_r said:
Call it a sraw?
Truck
User
the_cloud_system said:
aaronjer said:
It really was full of all the things I had expected
so what did you expect?
It's up there earlier. The walls of machinery, terminals, and half-finished robots. etc.
Truck
User
1. It seems as though aaronjer was fitted with some combo smartbomb/interdiction sphere, which is funny because I'm certain that you could not fit the later.
2. The anecdote with the lab security (re: Mary) has also caused me internal hemorrhaging.
3. Of all times to go to the car wash, that was one of them.
4. I appreciate that the boss did nothing but yell the entire time.
2. The anecdote with the lab security (re: Mary) has also caused me internal hemorrhaging.
3. Of all times to go to the car wash, that was one of them.
4. I appreciate that the boss did nothing but yell the entire time.
Truck
User
Down Rodeo said:
NatureJay said:
I compensate by refusing to load 99% of apps and not taking quizzes.
Good man. Do you SuperPoke?
Pfft. I don't even do standard pokes. We all know that that leads to. STDs.
Truck
User
I have an obligation to be on the FaceBox because most people at my university are otherwise incapable of informing each other what it going to be happening and when and also my phone doesn't function in my apartment.
I compensate by refusing to load 99% of apps and not taking quizzes.
I compensate by refusing to load 99% of apps and not taking quizzes.
Truck
User
Based on anecdotal evidence, I would make the bold suggestion that Havokk and life are not on good terms!
User
Havokk Edge said:
What would you do with it?
Pet it. Obviously.