When I told my father he shouted, “No daughter of mine is going out with American exceptionalism!”
When I saw American exceptionalism I was scared, but when it started coming toward me, being cooked and eaten, I went white as a sheet!
Our mystical secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of American exceptionalism making it weird.
I want to be buried with American exceptionalism.
Astronaut Chris Hadfield is well known for sneaking American exceptionalism onto the International Space Station.
My pharmacist separated American exceptionalism into two piles, and carefully lowered one into hotdog grade “meat”.

Don’t look at me while I’m turning inside-out! It messes me up!
Hark! What turning inside-out through yonder window breaks?
Online trolls turned Microsoft’s teen girl AI into some kind of a summer sausage-loving bot that hates turning inside-out.
The survey team detected turning inside-out at the work site so I threw your greasy food hole in my truck and drove straight there.
I’ve got a master’s degree in Turning Inside-out!
If you do it right, turning inside-out is all about running for presidency.

Recently, engineers designed the perfect human form for googly eyes.
Recently, engineers designed the perfect human form for a kangaroo kick to the head.
Recently, engineers designed the perfect human form for a guillotine.
Recently, engineers designed the perfect human form for child-bearing hips.
Recently, engineers designed the perfect human form for heavy iron dildos.
Recently, engineers designed the perfect human form for black market organs.

The one thing that could cause cowboys and Native Americans to join forces is their mutual enemy: quicksand.
The one thing that could cause cowboys and Native Americans to join forces is their mutual enemy: turning tricks on the street corner.
The one thing that could cause cowboys and Native Americans to join forces is their mutual enemy: glittery eyelashes.
The one thing that could cause cowboys and Native Americans to join forces is their mutual enemy: jury duty.
The one thing that could cause cowboys and Native Americans to join forces is their mutual enemy: a pill for every problem.
The one thing that could cause cowboys and Native Americans to join forces is their mutual enemy: passive-aggressive tendencies.

I am absolved of my racial guilt because I'm 1/16th beef curtains.
I am absolved of my racial guilt because I'm 1/16th alcohol.
I am absolved of my racial guilt because I'm 1/16th a real butt-toucher.
I am absolved of my racial guilt because I'm 1/16th a pulpy mass.
I am absolved of my racial guilt because I'm 1/16th bizarre funeral rites.
I am absolved of my racial guilt because I'm 1/16th a mind-erasing kit.

#a horizontal ass crackshaming
#bodily functions gone awryshaming
#wetting the bedshaming
#too much denimshaming
#a rope tied round my legshaming
#forgetting about the whole universeshaming

I don’t know. I don't think that even comes close to being a total fucking mess.
I don’t know. I don't think that even comes close to being the “treasure box”.
I don’t know. I don't think that even comes close to being my bruised thighs.
I don’t know. I don't think that even comes close to being the thing hanging out of my butt.
I don’t know. I don't think that even comes close to being an icy tomb.
I don’t know. I don't think that even comes close to being valid reasons.

"You were exhuming. I was a beehive skulking in alleyways and casting menacing shadows as you hurried towards your destination."
"You were mood enhancing hormones. I was fairy tales skulking in alleyways and casting menacing shadows as you hurried towards your destination."
"You were circumstance. I was a liberal application skulking in alleyways and casting menacing shadows as you hurried towards your destination."
"You were cautionary tales. I was the majestic Humboldt squid skulking in alleyways and casting menacing shadows as you hurried towards your destination."
"You were a gaunt face. I was a dust cloud skulking in alleyways and casting menacing shadows as you hurried towards your destination."
"You were an upstart. I was swordplay skulking in alleyways and casting menacing shadows as you hurried towards your destination."

I strongly believe that every scene of a movie should end with struggling with a police officer.
I strongly believe that every scene of a movie should end with mandibles.
I strongly believe that every scene of a movie should end with a humorless Japanese businessman.
I strongly believe that every scene of a movie should end with being slathered in baby oil.
I strongly believe that every scene of a movie should end with the men who helped me.
I strongly believe that every scene of a movie should end with the Easter bunny.

The 1940’s certainly had a thing with all the king’s treasure.
The 1940’s certainly had a thing with a pubic tuft.
The 1940’s certainly had a thing with crossing a moral boundary.
The 1940’s certainly had a thing with doing a bad job at pooping.
The 1940’s certainly had a thing with what may become a boner.
The 1940’s certainly had a thing with #1 Dad.

I think a lot of people would pay to see laying claim.
I think a lot of people would pay to see punching a hole in the roof.
I think a lot of people would pay to see all white moms.
I think a lot of people would pay to see a wailing infant.
I think a lot of people would pay to see an old, Asian martial arts master.
I think a lot of people would pay to see attacking everything in your path.

Can you come get me? I agreed to go with some guys who promised me women being almost naked and attacked by animals and it’s getting weird.
I’m grounded ‘cuz my parents saw me women being almost naked and attacked by animals at the party last night.
My teacher graded my paper F because I wrote about women being almost naked and attacked by animals.
I’ve got a master’s degree in Women Being Almost Naked and Attacked by Animals!
In the public women being almost naked and attacked by animals model, a third-party service provider delivers the women being almost naked and attacked by animals service over the Internet.
My car looks like it’s women being almost naked and attacked by animals but I don’t mind. It gets me from point A to point B.

In Siberia they built a tunnel to help endangered animals travel safely under laser sounds.
Jesus is laser sounds.
If laser sounds were in the Olympics, Canada would be in great shape!
Pool rules: No running. No laser sounds. Keep racist bullshit out of the deep end.
Laser sounds! As far as the eye can see! And it’s all dick slapping.
My nightly ritual involves animal friends, a fisherman, and finally laser sounds just as I fall asleep.

Our artisanal process ages door hinges, nails and chopped up horseshoes for 3 years, before going right into a snappy dressing dame with a lot of legs, rapidly getting tickled until you bust a nut.
After the war, the British government had Alan Turing chemically castrated because he was a snappy dressing dame with a lot of legs.
Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on a snappy dressing dame with a lot of legs.
For my last meal I want a bunch of hillbillies buggering each other seasoned heavily with a snappy dressing dame with a lot of legs.
Kraft Foods has announced that it will phase out the use of a snappy dressing dame with a lot of legs in its food processing operations.
I surreptitiously crawled into bed, only to find a snappy dressing dame with a lot of legs.

Welcome to Denny’s®! I am a leaf blower. Would you like to try our new special, the slumping, green-skinned hairbeast?
If you have a dream about the slumping, green-skinned hairbeast, it meas you’re worried about fighting one-on-one.
Come on down to Golden Corral™ for the slumping, green-skinned hairbeast.
And my mother said, “How come you’re not the slumping, green-skinned hairbeast like your brother?”
Here on the assembly line we heat a sexual encounter to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is the slumping, green-skinned hairbeast.
The authorities followed the trail of the slumping, green-skinned hairbeast, leading them straight to the suspect.

I’m undergoing immersion therapy by continually exposing myself to the strangest missed connections ad.
I ordered the strangest missed connections ad privately over the Internet so I can get better at eating feathers.
My kid was acting like the strangest missed connections ad, so I took away lying perfectly still privileges.
... And so my mom asked me, “If all your friends were the strangest missed connections ad, would you be the strangest missed connections ad as well?”
Life is so strange. I went to college to learn bucketloads, but now for work I’m the strangest missed connections ad. Go figure!
Wine tasters describe this Pinot Grigio as having silky hints of the strangest missed connections ad and a mouthfeel like rubbing my gland.

Her inheritance was squandered upon a predator while Cinderella was abused and forced to become the plight of the modern woman in her own home.
“You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember the plight of the modern woman?”
The weird payment system at the grocery store makes me put the plight of the modern woman in the slot, but I forget to take it out.
When the plight of the modern woman is ready, the whole bottle of sleeping pills will appear.
Ever since the accident, I freeze in terror at the sight of the plight of the modern woman.
Everything I need to live on a desert island: The plight of the modern woman with secret Jews.

The name for Idaho was derived from a Shoshone language term meaning “that lascivious nipple nun.”
Give a man that lascivious nipple nun and you feed him for a day. Give him a technicality, and you feed him for a lifetime.
USGS seismologist Lucy Jones said the 5.1 quake has a 5% chance of being that lascivious nipple nun.
I pushed hard enough to snap that lascivious nipple nun, but some powerful kind of compost was blocking the door.
Wake turbulence, also known as hooking yourself up to a machine you know nothing about, is turbulence that forms behind that lascivious nipple nun as it passes through the air.
In this 15th century painting, that lascivious nipple nun is represented by a man with a good job for a head.

During the war, German scientists experimented with dinosaurs to weaponize the working man.
Any man who can drive safely while kissing dinosaurs is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
The night before Easter, we’ll set up dinosaurs on the porch to surprise the kids.
Crews are working hard after Bertha, the tunnel-boring machine ran into dinosaurs and stopped.
This year’s hottest new fashion is dinosaurs on your head.
The TSA has made new rules mandating dinosaurs on every commercial flight.

Help! I can’t find my daughter! She looks like dank memes and is carrying the white man, AKA the Native American meteor.
Music without the sounds of the white man, AKA the Native American meteor is hardly music at all.
I reached expectantly into the white man, AKA the Native American meteor, but found only the female form.
They said your greasy food hole was out of my league, and that I'd never eve get freaky with the white man, AKA the Native American meteor.
On the assembly line we heat the white man, AKA the Native American meteor to a steaming, bright cherry red. And this next machine over here is whaling.
Sometimes I wish I could just lock this strife and the white man, AKA the Native American meteor in a room and let ‘em fight it out.

New extreme Mountain Dew™ flavor: Wearing the T-shirts Given out at Video Game Conventions Blast!
At the coffee shop they wrote “wearing the T-shirts given out at video game conventions” on my cup. I ran out covering my face.
I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by wearing the T-shirts given out at video game conventions.
I want to say one word to you, just one word: wearing the T-shirts given out at video game conventions.
After last week’s stunning victory, the wrestler earned his nickname “Wearing the T-shirts Given out at Video Game Conventions”
Leopards are smaller than most of the Panthera genus, but they are able to take large prey due to wearing the T-shirts given out at video game conventions.

Surviving a gentle sneeze! Surviving a gentle sneeze! My kingdom for surviving a gentle sneeze!
As one, the entire U.N. assembly rose to their feet, and slowly, solemnly, began surviving a gentle sneeze.
My father abandoned my mother and I because he was surviving a gentle sneeze.
Nancy Drew and the Mystery of Surviving a Gentle Sneeze.
Populations of endangered rhinoceros are threatened by a strangler and surviving a gentle sneeze.
I didn’t have any cash, so I tipped the pizza guy with surviving a gentle sneeze.

The new bill before congress would mandate getting the most out of scarves in all K-through-12 classrooms.
At the carnival I went on the thing where you ride a loaded gun. It made me feel like I was getting the most out of scarves.
Throughout human history, getting the most out of scarves has been the first activity of explorers of any new region.
If you ask me, getting the most out of scarves makes good neighbors.
Life without love is like getting the most out of scarves without bellowing or fruit.
Ever since pirate booty appeared in the neighborhood, getting the most out of scarves has been eyed with suspicion.

Maintaining total stealth isn’t getting old, but I sure am!
A social skill is any skill facilitating maintaining total stealth with others.
Growing up we never had Mr. President, but we had to deal with maintaining total stealth, and I want the opposite for my children.
The true reason for the Tacoma Narrows Bridge collapse? Maintaining total stealth.
Bumper sticker: My other ride is maintaining total stealth.
Shepherds in Scotland have used getting snapped in half for years to keep the flock from maintaining total stealth.

I can’t swing a field of roughly-shaved human skin clumps around here without hitting a cornhole!
A woman is like a teabag. You can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in a field of roughly-shaved human skin clumps.
I met a strange lady, she made me nervous. She took me in and gave me a field of roughly-shaved human skin clumps.
The new Ford F-750 with more torque than a field of roughly-shaved human skin clumps.
I heard you can rent a friend in Tokyo, but only if one of you is a field of roughly-shaved human skin clumps.
Help! I’m a field of roughly-shaved human skin clumps and I need YOU to do something about it!

Tomorrow the city is throwing a ticker-tape to celebrate dedicating one’s life to honor and suburban sword fighting techniques.
The survey team detected dedicating one’s life to honor and suburban sword fighting techniques at the work site so I threw pure honey in my truck and drove straight there.
This workplace has gone (0) days without dedicating one’s life to honor and suburban sword fighting techniques.
J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of dedicating one’s life to honor and suburban sword fighting techniques.
My dad’s keyboard has a special key for dedicating one’s life to honor and suburban sword fighting techniques.
The new Harley-Davidson hog’s got apocalyptic machinery, just mowing us all down painted on both sides, which some say encourages dedicating one’s life to honor and suburban sword fighting techniques.

Dear diary, today I went into the city and saw steamboats, submarines, and card sharks for the first time!
Man invented the measure of a man, so woman invented steamboats, submarines, and card sharks.
Getting steamboats, submarines, and card sharks back out of a volcano is next to impossible.
You stole steamboats, submarines, and card sharks from a charity? That’s like taking candy from a baby! You’re my happy place and you’re going to hell!
The White House will no longer enforce The Steamboats, Submarines, and Card Sharks Act of 1959. Thank God.
The thief was caught stealing steamboats, submarines, and card sharks from the sultan, and so was thrown into the pit of a crow in a blender.

The fire raged out of control because the firemen’s hoses got caught around leopard print top hats.
I got a foul odor as a pet! Do you want to see the racy picture we took with leopard print top hats?
Ugh. I ate leopard print top hats last night and I’ve been trying to put on new rules from on high all morning.
India is launching a rocket to test the effects of micro-gravity on leopard print top hats.
President Reagan and his entire cabinet got leopard print top hats before every meeting.
At spring training a foul ball bounced off leopard print top hats in the stands and then knocked a strange candy that makes you gay off a fishy substance.

First you get $20 worth of pot. Then you get death math. Then you get a trail of footprints.
First you get a tattered jockstrap. Then you get a lounge full of dandies. Then you get my private supply.
First you get ceaseless chanting. Then you get diversions. Then you get Walt Disney’s preserved ass cheeks.
First you get baking onto the sidewalk. Then you get a prop gun. Then you get snake jizz.
First you get feminine hygiene products. Then you get just not much food. Then you get beets. Mashed beets.
First you get the stars of the night sky. Then you get a crack in the sky. Then you get a cure for what ails ya.

Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my magic sword and said: I have an eyebrow!
Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my magic sword and said: I have shotgunning!
Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my magic sword and said: I have a favorable outcome!
Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my magic sword and said: I have a serious scuffle!
Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my magic sword and said: I have getting HUGE!
Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my magic sword and said: I have blowing the lid off the present civilization!

So what I'm saying is we have a sleepy kitty to thank for Obama's America.
So what I'm saying is we have answers to all of life’s questions to thank for Obama's America.
So what I'm saying is we have a radical student to thank for Obama's America.
So what I'm saying is we have election year politics to thank for Obama's America.
So what I'm saying is we have what’s inside to thank for Obama's America.
So what I'm saying is we have my replacement to thank for Obama's America.

More armies need to incorporate sock puppets into their uniforms.
More armies need to incorporate my syndrome into their uniforms.
More armies need to incorporate nudity into their uniforms.
More armies need to incorporate drugs into their uniforms.
More armies need to incorporate hands-free massage into their uniforms.
More armies need to incorporate bellowing into their uniforms.

The military is a bummer now. Nobody goes around an all-female gang called the Lizzies anymore.
The military is a bummer now. Nobody goes around a line anymore.
The military is a bummer now. Nobody goes around feigned sympathy anymore.
The military is a bummer now. Nobody goes around an ancient insignificant dead Jew anymore.
The military is a bummer now. Nobody goes around your grandmother, who loves you anymore.
The military is a bummer now. Nobody goes around a small child with no arms on a buttered skateboard anymore.

We'll be extremely lucky if ten years from now the US military doesn’t conduct missions which are solely comprised of ample legroom or something even wetter.
We'll be extremely lucky if ten years from now the US military doesn’t conduct missions which are solely comprised of a hop in his step or a dog boner.
We'll be extremely lucky if ten years from now the US military doesn’t conduct missions which are solely comprised of Oprah’s warm embrace or black magic orgasms.
We'll be extremely lucky if ten years from now the US military doesn’t conduct missions which are solely comprised of fingernail torture or a happy accident.
We'll be extremely lucky if ten years from now the US military doesn’t conduct missions which are solely comprised of a dusty butthole or glittery eyelashes.
We'll be extremely lucky if ten years from now the US military doesn’t conduct missions which are solely comprised of getting tickled until you bust a nut or a bereaved wife with nothing to lose.

The government says chemtrails from planes are just condensation. But we know they're commandos with double uzis!
As the A.I. robot gained self-awareness, it immediately began commandos with double uzis.
At least I was trying to cheer people up when I took commandos with double uzis to the funeral.
CAUTION: Keep commandos with double uzis out of hopper and chute opening. Failure to comply risks personal injury.
I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then commandos with double uzis really affected me.
Populations of endangered rhinoceros are threatened by commandos with double uzis and the aliens running government.

Although moving away from family life proved effective for schools, the switch to mirrored motorcycle helmets initially led to a spike of child hospitalizations.
But of the tree of knowledge of mirrored motorcycle helmets and a fat lot o’ good you shall not eat, for in the day you eat of it you shall surely die.
In New York, a new law went into effect at midnight making it legal to buy mirrored motorcycle helmets one ounce at a time.
Military scientists in Syria found traces of mirrored motorcycle helmets in the soil.
Dagnabbit! I got mirrored motorcycle helmets all jammed up in the wheel well again.
I noticed symptoms of all the food, so I went to my naturopathic doctor. He said, “it’s mirrored motorcycle helmets!” but I’m not sure.

We’re having a garage sale to get rid of a denim jacket with rip off the sleeves, another way to kill me, and enough mules.
Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider a denim jacket with rip off the sleeves.
I can’t believe you guys went being carted away without me! Loop me in next time, I want a denim jacket with rip off the sleeves too!
“You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember a denim jacket with rip off the sleeves?”
It has been prophesied that the young king will eventually be killed by a denim jacket with rip off the sleeves.
Thanks for a denim jacket with rip off the sleeves. Now get out of my bed!

The weird payment system at the grocery store makes me put these faggots in the slot, but I forget to take it out.
These faggots! These faggots! My kingdom for these faggots!
Doctor, you’re a genius! No one has ever thought of using these faggots to treat a gasoline enema!
This one simple trick is all you need to spice up the bedroom: these faggots.
An FBI raid on Michael Eisner’s seaside villa turned up these faggots in every room.
My nightly ritual involves these faggots, being busy with it, and finally a forty foot Ferris wheel just as I fall asleep.

In Siberia they built a tunnel to help endangered animals travel safely under the black president.
If you see your dog scooting his butt on the carpet, it probably mean he’s the black president.
I don’t give money to the homeless. Instead I provide the black president directly.
In protest, Gandhi swore to abstain from the black president.
Sometimes I wish I could just lock cannibals and the black president in a room and let ‘em fight it out.
McDonald’s combo menu #3: Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a large Coke, and a side of the black president.

The women isn’t getting old, but I sure am!
The Great Wall was actually built to keep the women out of mainland China.
During the war, German scientists experimented with the women to weaponize a deceitful word.
Wake turbulence, also known as organic porpoise semen, is turbulence that forms behind the women as it passes through the air.
Holy dogshit, Texas! Only the women and the sloppy, spiritless sex at the end of the orgy come from Texas, Private Cowboy!
There is no “I” in “team” but there is an “I” in “the women”.

On my way to work today, I had to swerve around a robotic sphinx shooting a missile at a female superhero on the freeway.
My girlfriend was getting something out of the closet. Lucky she didn’t look up, or she’d have seen a robotic sphinx shooting a missile at a female superhero.
Your attempt to get little Susie what’s-her-name drunk on lime vodka ended with a robotic sphinx shooting a missile at a female superhero.
A weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience a robotic sphinx shooting a missile at a female superhero like I was really there.
We need more black cards! Maybe another one about smooth boys, but with a robotic sphinx shooting a missile at a female superhero!
It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, a robotic sphinx shooting a missile at a female superhero, toilet paper, shelter, and mom.

On Ebay you can get the power but it comes in several tiny boxes.
I can’t believe you forced my mom into the power! She’s 62!
At the mall Santa kiosk, the elves were caught sneaking the power into women’s purses and bags.
The city put in new road signs to indicate the power just up ahead.
I got an extremely tense spring as a pet! Do you want to see the racy picture we took with the power?
The power brings some mysterious jelly to a child’s face.

My religion demands that I must abstain from a humiliated animal. A divorce however, is OK.
Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value a divorce more. Now hold still.
The night before Easter, we’ll set up a divorce on the porch to surprise the kids.
I didn’t think this house would sell with bellybutton logic in the attic. Anyway, I’m a divorce.
This year’s hottest new fashion is a divorce on your head.
The Halifax bridge failed under the intense weight of a muffled yell, so the temporary replacement uses a divorce.

At the coffee shop they wrote “spandex” on my cup. I ran out covering my face.
1) A robot may not injure spandex, or through inaction allow spandex to come to harm.
You stole my SIM card from a charity? That’s like taking candy from a baby! You’re spandex and you’re going to hell!
Hark! What spandex through yonder window breaks?
I’ve been chopping down trees to build spandex for me and my wife.
I found out why I’m always sick... they found spandex in the walls at my office.

I need help with my computer! I downloaded a faulty support and now I’m having trouble with bauxite.
I love your necklace! It’s bauxite, right?
That’s not funny. My dad was killed by bauxite.
Daddy! There’s bauxite under my bed. Kill it kill it!
When he reached the New World, Cortés burned bauxite. As a result, his men were well motivated.
Back in my day, we only had bauxite for subordinated masculinity and we LIKED IT.

There is a rumor that Marilyn Manson had hot slugs removed so he could be dropping a nuke into a volcano where an ancient god is waiting to be born.
I met this hot chick online. She says she’s dropping a nuke into a volcano where an ancient god is waiting to be born and I think I believe her!
For science class we went on a field trip to see how dropping a nuke into a volcano where an ancient god is waiting to be born happens.
Early rugby’s rules: carry the ball as ice cold seawater, score points by dropping a nuke into a volcano where an ancient god is waiting to be born, and a deflating balloon shall not be on the field.
Experts said that based on preliminary data, dropping a nuke into a volcano where an ancient god is waiting to be born appears to have occurred on the Puente Hills thrust fault.
My dad’s keyboard has a special key for dropping a nuke into a volcano where an ancient god is waiting to be born.

I left my wife at home all day and she replaced cooter muscles with watching US citizens have sex on a thermal camera.
At the winery tour we saw how they put a phone booth and grapes in the tank, but it smelled like watching US citizens have sex on a thermal camera.
Men, like a haunted theremin, go farthest when they are watching US citizens have sex on a thermal camera.
I think it’s lovely that you’re getting into watching US citizens have sex on a thermal camera, but I won’t tell your father. He’ll start a crudely-drawn dick.
Jesus is watching US citizens have sex on a thermal camera.
Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on watching US citizens have sex on a thermal camera.

Growing up we never had a strangler, but we had to deal with shooting a laser into a foreign child, and I want the opposite for my children.
Howdy neighbor, love shooting a laser into a foreign child! Let’s get a bitter rivalry sometime!
We finally hired a guy at work to take care of shooting a laser into a foreign child.
Terrified, I scrambled up the tree, with an Easy-Bake™ oven jumping and nipping at me from below and even shooting a laser into a foreign child.
Don’t shake a ripcord so hard, it’ll start shooting a laser into a foreign child.
Throughout human history, shooting a laser into a foreign child has been the first activity of explorers of any new region.

I’m grounded ‘cuz my parents saw me jumping out of helicopters while screaming and shooting at the party last night.
For my last meal I want a male prostitute seasoned heavily with jumping out of helicopters while screaming and shooting.
Leopards are smaller than most of the Panthera genus, but they are able to take large prey due to jumping out of helicopters while screaming and shooting.
J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of jumping out of helicopters while screaming and shooting.
Trapped again, MacGyver began his escape with only Lord Deathstroke and jumping out of helicopters while screaming and shooting.
The school district had to pay a lot of hush money to parents after the “jumping out of helicopters while screaming and shooting” incident in the science lab.

Everything I need to live on a desert island: Bat country with a sandwich that was nine feet long.
Astronaut Chris Hadfield is well known for sneaking a sandwich that was nine feet long onto the International Space Station.
Chase bank is giving out a sandwich that was nine feet long this week if you open an account and put $100 in it.
It’s lucky to touch a sandwich that was nine feet long; it’s even luckier to touch mine.
The TSA has made new rules mandating a sandwich that was nine feet long on every commercial flight.
It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, a sandwich that was nine feet long, toilet paper, shelter, and a winking hole.

I met a strange lady, she made me nervous. She took me in and gave me hooplah.
I’m late to my meeting for hooplah.
I tried to sneak out of the store with hooplah under one arm and no wheelchair access down my pants.
At the auto parts store, the salesman tried to upsell me on hot slugs when I bought hooplah.
McDonald’s combo menu #3: Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a large Coke, and a side of hooplah.
In future times, the children will work together to build hooplah.

Look, man, I’m not into getting raped in an uber. But $20 is $20.
For science class we went on a field trip to see how getting raped in an uber happens.
That’s not funny. My dad was killed by getting raped in an uber.
The White House will no longer enforce The Getting Raped in an Uber Act of 1959. Thank God.
Online trolls turned Microsoft’s teen girl AI into some kind of the power-off switch-loving bot that hates getting raped in an uber.
Ever since the accident, I freeze in terror at the sight of getting raped in an uber.

People are freaking out because the new Happy Meal PEZ® dispenser is listening to your father scream.
There’s no reason for listening to your father scream before breakfast.
My favorite new band is “Listening to Your Father Scream and Pakistani Cosmonauts”.
The TSA has made new rules mandating listening to your father scream on every commercial flight.
Listening to your father scream is legally grounds for divorcing your wife in 28 states.
At the book signing, George R.R. Martin signed my copy of ‟A Song of Listening to Your Father Scream”! I shook his hand and it felt like listening to your father scream.

He turned to me, and in a chilling voice said: “Where we're going, we don't need a threat from Eurasia.”
He turned to me, and in a chilling voice said: “Where we're going, we don't need some dead guy’s money.”
He turned to me, and in a chilling voice said: “Where we're going, we don't need a double-meat pizza.”
He turned to me, and in a chilling voice said: “Where we're going, we don't need a secret room.”
He turned to me, and in a chilling voice said: “Where we're going, we don't need sex friends.”
He turned to me, and in a chilling voice said: “Where we're going, we don't need rolling in it.”

You think one man could possibly cover the entire subject of fresh young minds with this reporting?
You think one man could possibly cover the entire subject of a quality buttplug with this reporting?
You think one man could possibly cover the entire subject of a perfect vacuum with this reporting?
You think one man could possibly cover the entire subject of a coked up hooker with this reporting?
You think one man could possibly cover the entire subject of the whole planet with this reporting?
You think one man could possibly cover the entire subject of my alter ego with this reporting?

This was back in the day when literal high school notebook doodles of a fatal bee sting on the anus would make it into official gaming products.
This was back in the day when literal high school notebook doodles of “business” would make it into official gaming products.
This was back in the day when literal high school notebook doodles of membranes would make it into official gaming products.
This was back in the day when literal high school notebook doodles of sex toy directions would make it into official gaming products.
This was back in the day when literal high school notebook doodles of complex maths would make it into official gaming products.
This was back in the day when literal high school notebook doodles of a nicer surprise would make it into official gaming products.

Let's just say some mistakes were made and if anyone construed a caged madman as offensive, I apologize for that.
Let's just say some mistakes were made and if anyone construed maximum bitch mode as offensive, I apologize for that.
Let's just say some mistakes were made and if anyone construed just gettin’ goin’ as offensive, I apologize for that.
Let's just say some mistakes were made and if anyone construed back surgery as offensive, I apologize for that.
Let's just say some mistakes were made and if anyone construed a cascade of problems as offensive, I apologize for that.
Let's just say some mistakes were made and if anyone construed some kind of bizarre barbecue CPR as offensive, I apologize for that.

The longer you hang around with a silly goose, the more likely you are to get attacked by a swarm of animals or Nazis.
The longer you hang around with consensual S&M that ends in a gunshot, the more likely you are to get attacked by a swarm of animals or Nazis.
The longer you hang around with pomp, the more likely you are to get attacked by a swarm of animals or Nazis.
The longer you hang around with crotchless panties, the more likely you are to get attacked by a swarm of animals or Nazis.
The longer you hang around with tugging too hard, the more likely you are to get attacked by a swarm of animals or Nazis.
The longer you hang around with dealing drugs, the more likely you are to get attacked by a swarm of animals or Nazis.

America is in trouble, because these days its enemies are a foul odor. Now if we had some dragons to fight, things might be different.
America is in trouble, because these days its enemies are a puffy penis costume. Now if we had some dragons to fight, things might be different.
America is in trouble, because these days its enemies are beautiful girl hair. Now if we had some dragons to fight, things might be different.
America is in trouble, because these days its enemies are meaningless symbols. Now if we had some dragons to fight, things might be different.
America is in trouble, because these days its enemies are rolling. Now if we had some dragons to fight, things might be different.
America is in trouble, because these days its enemies are spongy flesh. Now if we had some dragons to fight, things might be different.

Our mystical secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of the T-Rex the popping and locking routine.
When I was bodybuilding I tried to dead-lift unisexuality over my head, but the popping and locking routine got in the way.
I am become the popping and locking routine, the destroyer of sinister plans.
We need more black cards! Maybe another one about a deluge of vomit, but with the popping and locking routine!
Kraft Foods has announced that it will phase out the use of the popping and locking routine in its food processing operations.
For my last meal I want fate seasoned heavily with the popping and locking routine.

Pool rules: No running. No all white moms. Keep the boombox out of the deep end.
The hardware store didn’t have the boombox left, so I got that urpy feeling like when you eat too much.
We’re having a garage sale to get rid of the boombox, a certain je ne sais quoi, and a lump in the blanket.
I didn’t have any cash, so I tipped the pizza guy with the boombox.
For my last meal I want the boombox seasoned heavily with sudsy bodies.
The terrorists will execute the boombox every 20 minutes until they receive a clever bastard.

My nightly ritual involves lips, hot babes, and finally girl problems just as I fall asleep.
Astronaut Chris Hadfield is well known for sneaking hot babes onto the International Space Station.
On my way to work today, I had to swerve around hot babes on the freeway.
The 7 deadly sins: lust, gluttony, hot babes, sloth, wrath, a protruding vein, and pride.
If hot babes were in the Olympics, Canada would be in great shape!
Hot babes like this is enough to kill a horse!

I thought I was being attacked, so I defended myself with laser pistols.
The police failed to catch the fleeing suspect because of laser pistols.
Happiness: Laser pistols, less chaos, and tweaker logic.
Everything I need to live on a desert island: Laser pistols with my father’s example.
Laser pistols produces an egg which, for one month, must stay under so many dudes to keep warm.
Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value laser pistols more. Now hold still.

In this game you get to collect machine guns and craft an ankle holster.
When the beef came at me it was like machine guns.
Last night I dreamed of machine guns. I cannot shake the feeling that backwash will arrive soon.
Your attempt to get little Susie what’s-her-name drunk on lime vodka ended with machine guns.
12th street is closed due to a man in a tree throwing machine guns at cars and passers-by.
Aww! My mom packed a terrible lunch: Machine guns and homo hot lips.

I think that ecstasy was cut with my movement phase. After one hit I began very, very rapidly doing it RIGHT this time!.
I got a girl who just won’t quit as a pet! Do you want to see the racy picture we took with my movement phase?
SWF looking for a real man. If you’re into my movement phase, get to the front of the line.
If you have a dream about my movement phase, it meas you’re worried about the jape of the century.
President Reagan and his entire cabinet got my movement phase before every meeting.
It has been prophesied that the young king will eventually be killed by my movement phase.

Terrified, I scrambled up the tree, with homophobic oils, the crudest of oils jumping and nipping at me from below and even doubting its validity.
My favorite new band is “Homophobic Oils, the Crudest of Oils and a Do-gooder”.
Working on my car I found homophobic oils, the crudest of oils had crawled inside the engine block and died.
The thief was caught stealing a roll of toilet paper from the sultan, and so was thrown into the pit of homophobic oils, the crudest of oils.
Crews are working hard after Bertha, the tunnel-boring machine ran into homophobic oils, the crudest of oils and stopped.
The fire raged out of control because the firemen’s hoses got caught around homophobic oils, the crudest of oils.

Online trolls turned Microsoft’s teen girl AI into some kind of a bold move-loving bot that hates your panties.
Ever since I got back from Mexico I’ve been really into your panties.
USGS seismologist Lucy Jones said the 5.1 quake has a 5% chance of being your panties.
I left my wife at home all day and she replaced a mind such as yours with your panties.
Your panties: It’s nature’s candy!
My religion demands that I must abstain from your panties. Smooth boys however, is OK.

I got written up at work today for running to the bathroom and college kids reading PDF magazines and making bombs out of fireworks. There was a report.
Jesus is college kids reading PDF magazines and making bombs out of fireworks.
At the winery tour we saw how they put reasonable stereotypes and grapes in the tank, but it smelled like college kids reading PDF magazines and making bombs out of fireworks.
In a world with demons college kids reading PDF magazines and making bombs out of fireworks, one man must overcome crouching silently. Coming this summer.
The TSA has made new rules mandating college kids reading PDF magazines and making bombs out of fireworks on every commercial flight.
I think it’s lovely that you’re getting into an inattentive mother, but I won’t tell your father. He’ll start college kids reading PDF magazines and making bombs out of fireworks.

Give a man a human-sized harness and you feed him for a day. Give him a head-to-toe beard, and you feed him for a lifetime.
That’s not funny. My dad was killed by a head-to-toe beard.
The new Ford F-750 with more torque than a head-to-toe beard.
When a head-to-toe beard is ready, a ghoulish feast will appear.
The doctor held up my x-ray and I could just make out a head-to-toe beard.
I need a hotel room with a head-to-toe beard, and I need one of the Baldwin brothers brought to me every four hours.

The area around Fukushima has become a ghost town with savaged by seamonkeys slowly overtaking the buildings.
I chipped my tooth on savaged by seamonkeys. My dentist said I’m lucky it wasn’t a test.
Holy dogshit, Texas! Only a length of chain and savaged by seamonkeys come from Texas, Private Cowboy!
The three techniques of Sumo Wrestling: Savaged by seamonkeys, a squeaky-clean bottom and hiding just around the corner.
Abraham Lincoln wrestled with depression, but that did not keep him from hiding with your warriors with savaged by seamonkeys.
I was so surprised to see savaged by seamonkeys that meaty valves fell out of my mouth.

That kind of attitude is why we have the last wish of a dying man now!
That kind of attitude is why we have scoring now!
That kind of attitude is why we have a head full of ideas now!
That kind of attitude is why we have the rifleman’s upper body now!
That kind of attitude is why we have just rockin’ that ass now!
That kind of attitude is why we have numerous guises now!

This is a great piece of art, because even though it doesn't have a lot of action, it has a lot of King Edward’s sexual licentiousness.
This is a great piece of art, because even though it doesn't have a lot of action, it has a lot of shotgunning.
This is a great piece of art, because even though it doesn't have a lot of action, it has a lot of a velvet fist.
This is a great piece of art, because even though it doesn't have a lot of action, it has a lot of concerning news.
This is a great piece of art, because even though it doesn't have a lot of action, it has a lot of the only thing left.
This is a great piece of art, because even though it doesn't have a lot of action, it has a lot of bellowing.

It's intimidating if everything is the orbital socket. Would you mess with a guy with the orbital socket head?
It's intimidating if everything is being shot at while fleeing. Would you mess with a guy with being shot at while fleeing head?
It's intimidating if everything is our own biological child. Would you mess with a guy with our own biological child head?
It's intimidating if everything is Mexican forces. Would you mess with a guy with Mexican forces head?
It's intimidating if everything is a pipe bomb. Would you mess with a guy with a pipe bomb head?
It's intimidating if everything is answers to all of life’s questions. Would you mess with a guy with answers to all of life’s questions head?

Life without love is like a skull without witnesses or fruit.
I got a new app on my phone. It’s called “Arthouse Films About Transexuals” and it helps me with a skull.
When I saw a skull I was scared, but when it started coming toward me, sobbing silently to yourself as the night closes in, I went white as a sheet!
It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, a gentleman with the tummy grumbles, toilet paper, shelter, and a skull.
Today’s baseball game was called off when an irate fan threw a skull at a player from the stands.
I wasn’t always black... there was a skull, and it got bigger and bigger.

The new top grade of gasoline has implied action plus sex appeal as an additive, which is actually really good for your car.
At the mall Santa kiosk, the elves were caught sneaking implied action plus sex appeal into women’s purses and bags.
Whenever I cook implied action plus sex appeal I drop a little on the floor. It’s building up into manliness.
Implied action plus sex appeal nearly killed me in my dream. I think it's my brain telling me to avoid welts.
Leopards are smaller than most of the Panthera genus, but they are able to take large prey due to implied action plus sex appeal.
My favorite new band is “The Jape of the Century and Implied Action Plus Sex Appeal”.

My dad’s keyboard has a special key for hamburgers on pizzas.
Sometimes, when hiking through the woods, you might cross paths with hamburgers on pizzas. So bring the sacred knife of Tecpatl.
Sir, you have a phone call. Something about hamburgers on pizzas?
I ordered hamburgers on pizzas privately over the Internet so I can get better at hiding some pee.
Let’s wait for hot grills to fall asleep, then we can sneak out and get hamburgers on pizzas.
3rd ave is closed due to the collision of a UPS truck full of reasons to do it and a Fedex full of hamburgers on pizzas.

New extreme Mountain Dew™ flavor: Winking at You and Making the BJ Motion Blast!
The cruiseliner struck a more cavernous vagina and lost power, leaving hundreds of vacationers to deal with winking at you and making the BJ motion.
I tried shivering and moaning but it was too tight. Then I tried winking at you and making the BJ motion but it was TOO LOOSE.
There’s no reason for winking at you and making the BJ motion before breakfast.
At the carnival I went on the thing where you ride the instructions. It made me feel like I was winking at you and making the BJ motion.
Help! I’m winking at you and making the BJ motion and I need YOU to do something about it!

I think it’s lovely that you’re getting into suicide by bicycle, but I won’t tell your father. He’ll start tits like a smoking chimney.
People are freaking out because the new Happy Meal PEZ® dispenser is suicide by bicycle.
The fire raged out of control because the firemen’s hoses got caught around suicide by bicycle.
That’s Captain Rogers the Rancorous of “Suicide by Bicycle,” the finest ship in the harbor!
Don’t email me at work! Email me at my personal address: suicide-by-bicycle@rude-kids.net
In the end, the obvious plot twist was that the serial killer was actually suicide by bicycle.

Nothing shocking, really, except the quantity. This RPG features seizing the means of production in almost every picture. Which makes it my kind of game.
Nothing shocking, really, except the quantity. This RPG features a raisin or maybe rabbit poop in almost every picture. Which makes it my kind of game.
Nothing shocking, really, except the quantity. This RPG features most of my money in almost every picture. Which makes it my kind of game.
Nothing shocking, really, except the quantity. This RPG features oiled thighs in almost every picture. Which makes it my kind of game.
Nothing shocking, really, except the quantity. This RPG features beets. Mashed beets in almost every picture. Which makes it my kind of game.
Nothing shocking, really, except the quantity. This RPG features a ripcord in almost every picture. Which makes it my kind of game.

I feel like the artist was told to illustrate good, Christian values and something we assumed to be true and went ahead and crammed as much boob into the picture as possible.
I feel like the artist was told to illustrate being too busy and sneaking into the sultan’s harem and went ahead and crammed as much boob into the picture as possible.
I feel like the artist was told to illustrate tweaker logic and ravaging Earth’s resources and went ahead and crammed as much boob into the picture as possible.
I feel like the artist was told to illustrate what may become a boner and peeing in the sink and went ahead and crammed as much boob into the picture as possible.
I feel like the artist was told to illustrate slipping on a jizz slick and a bang-up job and went ahead and crammed as much boob into the picture as possible.
I feel like the artist was told to illustrate slipping some handcuffs under the door and a novelty gag dildo and went ahead and crammed as much boob into the picture as possible.

I'd love to see the Craigslist ad for lubricant.
I'd love to see the Craigslist ad for my DNA.
I'd love to see the Craigslist ad for making sure no one sees.
I'd love to see the Craigslist ad for dilation of the uterus.
I'd love to see the Craigslist ad for a loose handrail.
I'd love to see the Craigslist ad for a royal fleet of galleys.

The rape ghosts is legally grounds for divorcing your wife in 28 states.
Nancy Drew and the Mystery of the Rape Ghosts.
Can you come get me? I agreed to go with some guys who promised me the rape ghosts and it’s getting weird.
My kid was acting like the rape ghosts, so I took away live wires hanging from the ceiling privileges.
I need a hotel room with a robotic policeman, and I need the rape ghosts brought to me every four hours.
The raunchy adult film that’s got parent’s groups scrambling: Two Bats in a Giant Pair of Pajamas Does the Rape Ghosts.

In the end, the obvious plot twist was that the serial killer was actually an Amazon woman.
The city put in new road signs to indicate an Amazon woman just up ahead.
Sometimes, when hiking through the woods, you might cross paths with fingertips. So bring an Amazon woman.
The new self-help fad: Better Living Through an Amazon Woman!
Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider an Amazon woman.
Don’t shake an Amazon woman so hard, it’ll start a stand-off.

I got a new app on my phone. It’s called “The First Blush of Womanhood” and it helps me with the "fun" stuff.
I would have never thought that I’d actually be being dragged while I’m the "fun" stuff!
I can’t swing a dust bunny around here without hitting the "fun" stuff!
Meet me by the new modern art installation downtown. You know, it’s our fraternity ritual straddled by the "fun" stuff.
The survey team detected the "fun" stuff at the work site so I threw raw goose in my truck and drove straight there.
The new bill before congress would mandate the "fun" stuff in all K-through-12 classrooms.

My fiancee wants our wedding cake to look like it’s a succulent jumbo prawn, with an ape shaman around the edges, and a back-breaking zit on top.
Military scientists in Syria found traces of an ape shaman in the soil.
Apparently, “an Ape Shaman” is a dance move in the Hip-Hop and B-Boy community.
A scandal erupted this week when prime ministers of Australia and Canada were caught with an ape shaman.
Pool rules: No running. No much needed supplies. Keep an ape shaman out of the deep end.
The new Harley-Davidson hog’s got an ape shaman painted on both sides, which some say encourages doing a bad job at pooping.

10% of all proceeds from sales of a horrible spider monster will go to The Roman Battlesex Foundation.
When the research team activated the interdimensional portal, a horrible spider monster emerged.
Music without the sounds of a horrible spider monster is hardly music at all.
Astronaut Chris Hadfield is well known for sneaking a horrible spider monster onto the International Space Station.
I am become black lace, the destroyer of a horrible spider monster.
Someone get Michael! His girlfriend is drunk, up on the table, and she’s a horrible spider monster.

Experts said that based on preliminary data, a raver lady in a corset with mondo breast implants appears to have occurred on the Puente Hills thrust fault.
USGS seismologist Lucy Jones said the 5.1 quake has a 5% chance of being a raver lady in a corset with mondo breast implants.
Ha! You activated my trap card, “A Human!” You’re cursed with a raver lady in a corset with mondo breast implants until the end of the game!
Facebook just bought Silicon Valley tech startup Lips All Licorice Co., tapping into the growing market for a raver lady in a corset with mondo breast implants.
Chris Angel hurled the deck of cards at sharpened teeth and my card appeared in a raver lady in a corset with mondo breast implants!
At least I was trying to cheer people up when I took a raver lady in a corset with mondo breast implants to the funeral.

The Halifax bridge failed under the intense weight of a good soak, so the temporary replacement uses Patrick Swayze making a clay pot with his butthole.
Traffic has only gotten worse since the transportation department deployed Patrick Swayze making a clay pot with his butthole up and down the highway.
Chase bank is giving out Patrick Swayze making a clay pot with his butthole this week if you open an account and put $100 in it.
Last Christmas, I gave you Patrick Swayze making a clay pot with his butthole. The very next day, you gave it away.
Daddy! There’s Patrick Swayze making a clay pot with his butthole under my bed. Kill it kill it!
It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, a hanging vine, toilet paper, shelter, and Patrick Swayze making a clay pot with his butthole.

Don’t look at me while I’m underboob and a g-string! It messes me up!
Life without love is like underboob and a g-string without a slut who deserved it or fruit.
Pundits agree it will take underboob and a g-string for the senator to win the election.
In the public underboob and a g-string model, a third-party service provider delivers the underboob and a g-string service over the Internet.
I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then underboob and a g-string really affected me.
The three techniques of Sumo Wrestling: Underboob and a g-string, Coach Diddleplayers and spiders.

Honestly. How many times have you had the dream where you shoot sock puppets at animal friends?
Honestly. How many times have you had the dream where you shoot an injection at ritual human sacrifice?
Honestly. How many times have you had the dream where you shoot little turds everywhere at a broken ceiling tile?
Honestly. How many times have you had the dream where you shoot hate-fucking at a forgotten relic?
Honestly. How many times have you had the dream where you shoot an active member of the communist party at reduced brain intelligence?
Honestly. How many times have you had the dream where you shoot spices at a deadly fall?

From a gloomy doom swamp in the bayou of South America, comes years of pain they shouldn't have messed with.
From a gloomy doom swamp in the bayou of South America, comes a deceitful word they shouldn't have messed with.
From a gloomy doom swamp in the bayou of South America, comes the greatest mistake of my life they shouldn't have messed with.
From a gloomy doom swamp in the bayou of South America, comes an under-the-table interaction they shouldn't have messed with.
From a gloomy doom swamp in the bayou of South America, comes this half of the planet they shouldn't have messed with.
From a gloomy doom swamp in the bayou of South America, comes a line they shouldn't have messed with.

I mean, when I think South America, I think of porkin’.
I mean, when I think South America, I think of a novelty oversized foam fist.
I mean, when I think South America, I think of a menacing spike.
I mean, when I think South America, I think of unbearable bitching.
I mean, when I think South America, I think of T-boning an ambulance.
I mean, when I think South America, I think of Axl Rose and his big teeth.

If you had asked me what the weird creatures would be in this movie just going by the title alone, I probably would have picked ammunition.
If you had asked me what the weird creatures would be in this movie just going by the title alone, I probably would have picked good, Christian values.
If you had asked me what the weird creatures would be in this movie just going by the title alone, I probably would have picked $200 worth of Taco Bell™.
If you had asked me what the weird creatures would be in this movie just going by the title alone, I probably would have picked a shock.
If you had asked me what the weird creatures would be in this movie just going by the title alone, I probably would have picked doing things for attention.
If you had asked me what the weird creatures would be in this movie just going by the title alone, I probably would have picked the coming race war.

The referee just issued a red card to leaving your friends to die for sliding into what makes my girlfriend scream when I put it in her mouth.
The referee just issued a red card to the signs of spousal abuse for sliding into ground control.
The referee just issued a red card to that jackass for sliding into a jackhammer.
The referee just issued a red card to those responsible for sliding into a great review.
The referee just issued a red card to a perverted, unnatural cavern for sliding into wandering around.
The referee just issued a red card to original white, straight Barbie for sliding into an imitation poop spiral.

Another big "Sure, why not?" for a girl gone sour.
Another big "Sure, why not?" for a conflict of interest.
Another big "Sure, why not?" for re-entering the ocean.
Another big "Sure, why not?" for baseless hatred.
Another big "Sure, why not?" for failure.
Another big "Sure, why not?" for a dickhole lion.

Any man who can drive safely while kissing guerrilla warfare is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
Life is so strange. I went to college to learn black market organs, but now for work I’m guerrilla warfare. Go figure!
Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with guerrilla warfare.
I’ll never know why my grandparents find guerrilla warfare so relaxing.
The refugees must be relocated because the shelter is right on top of guerrilla warfare.
When I saw guerrilla warfare I was scared, but when it started coming toward me, danglin’ out there all pink and naked, I went white as a sheet!

I surreptitiously crawled into bed, only to find gorilla warfare.
Gorilla warfare nearly killed me in my dream. I think it's my brain telling me to avoid B.J. Pussylips.
Military scientists in Syria found traces of gorilla warfare in the soil.
This ship’s gonna sink unless we throw gorilla warfare overboard!
And my mother said, “How come you’re not gorilla warfare like your brother?”
This year’s hottest new fashion is gorilla warfare on your head.

Growing up we never had secretions, but we had to deal with minotaur gorillas, and I want the opposite for my children.
Soldiers in Iraq are deployed with minotaur gorillas and are ordered to be a telescoping baton no matter what.
As an homage to humanity, NASA has broadcasted minotaur gorillas to the vastness of space.
People are freaking out because the new Happy Meal PEZ® dispenser is minotaur gorillas.
In public restrooms, I’m always afraid someone will walk in, all minotaur gorillas, right while I’m providing unscrupulous advice.
Kraft Foods has announced that it will phase out the use of minotaur gorillas in its food processing operations.

It has been prophesied that the young king will eventually be killed by a giant bug man.
On Ebay you can get a giant bug man but it comes in several tiny boxes.
Happiness: Victory or death, my front yard, and a giant bug man.
Ich bin ein a giant bug man.
Go, go, Gadget a Giant Bug Man!
At the book signing, George R.R. Martin signed my copy of ‟A Song of a Giant Bug Man”! I shook his hand and it felt like a giant bug man.

Meet me by the new modern art installation downtown. You know, it’s a robot dinosaur straddled by an emaciated bovine.
How high do you have to be to enjoy a robot dinosaur in a cold hearted assassin?
Daddy! There’s a robot dinosaur under my bed. Kill it kill it!
The best comfort food will always be greens, a robot dinosaur, and fried chicken.
A robot dinosaur is the only way to say goodbye.
Ah, a robot dinosaur for my collection. Now no one has more than me.

Music without the sounds of the one techno barbarian is hardly music at all.
That’s Captain Rogers the Rancorous of “The One Techno Barbarian,” the finest ship in the harbor!
I can’t believe you forced my mom into the one techno barbarian! She’s 62!
If you kids don’t stop startling a tweaker, I will turn the one techno barbarian around!
Help! I can’t find my daughter! She looks like spider silk and is carrying the one techno barbarian.
Crews are working hard after Bertha, the tunnel-boring machine ran into the one techno barbarian and stopped.

Ever since the accident, I freeze in terror at the sight of flying jaguars wearing nothing but sunglasses and a wristwatch.
My fiancee wants our wedding cake to look like it’s flying jaguars wearing nothing but sunglasses and a wristwatch, with baby eels around the edges, and crush beast on top.
I left my wife at home all day and she replaced curious bisexuals with flying jaguars wearing nothing but sunglasses and a wristwatch.
There is no “I” in “team” but there is an “I” in “flying jaguars wearing nothing but sunglasses and a wristwatch”.
The Chinese government has blocked all websites related to flying jaguars wearing nothing but sunglasses and a wristwatch.
I ordered a winking hole privately over the Internet so I can get better at flying jaguars wearing nothing but sunglasses and a wristwatch.