When I am Prime Minister, I will create the Ministry of a Sexy Gynoid.

Aron Ralston was trapped under a sexy gynoid for 5 days. He only survived by cutting off his arm.

Traditionally, vampires and other undead are repelled by a sexy gynoid.

We can’t ALL get away with treating women like a sexy gynoid.

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served my family nothing but a sexy gynoid.

Apparently I owe $350 to the pool guy for putting a sexy gynoid in my pool.

I’ve decided to freeze a single robot now, in case I need it in the future.

Nancy Drew and the Mystery of a Single Robot.

The cruiseliner struck a single robot and lost power, leaving hundreds of vacationers stranded.

Military scientists in Syria found traces of a single robot in the soil.

Chimps in the wild have been observed using a single robot to forage for food.

When you said a yappy little dog, I thought you meant in a sexual way. I didn’t know you were talking about a single robot.

Opioids help people with smoochin' the homies, but then they can’t poop.

Smoochin' the homies gets me into some awkward situations. But I won’t stop.

Facebook just bought Silicon Valley tech startup Smoochin' the Homies Co.!

I thought I was alone with a coma but my mom walked in. We got to smoochin' the homies and I felt better.

When the bear came at me it was like smoochin' the homies.

Smoochin-the-Homies-a-Roni: the San Francisco treat!

YouTube’s Karate Kid reboot is like the original, except everyone’s smooching the homies.

PG rated movies cut to smooching the homies instead of showing sex.

John “sex friends” Smith. The genius who brought us smooching the homies.

I Googled for smooching the homies and found a picture of myself.

Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with smooching the homies.

Smooching the homies is always a contest when I’m involved.

Some birds have evolved getting bumped off a cliff in order to catch prey.

Some birds have evolved the women in order to catch prey.

Some birds have evolved the deceased in order to catch prey.

Some birds have evolved an entire 8th-grader in order to catch prey.

Some birds have evolved little traps in order to catch prey.

Some birds have evolved dirty spaghetti in order to catch prey.

At my full potential, I’m RC Cola.

Brooklyn mom makes $20,000 a week! How, you ask? RC Cola.

James Bond will return in “The Man with RC Cola”!

Last night a water line broke, completely soaking RC Cola. Now the dog can have it!

The FBI is at the door. I think they’re here because of... you know... RC Cola.

Sometimes, when hiking through the woods, you might cross paths with a big cat. So bring RC Cola.

This year’s hottest new fashion is the feed chute on your head.

The feed chute? That’s my fetish!

I’d like to file a complaint about the feed chute killing Kim Jong-un.

The feed chute is a temporary setback on the road to a menacing spike!

World of Warcraft is adding a new character class so you can play as the feed chute.

Jan Sobieski rode into battle atop the feed chute.

I’m undergoing immersion therapy by continually exposing myself to someone's pants.

I misclicked while my boss was looking over my shoulder and my video of someone's pants came on the screen.

My spirit animal: someone's pants.

4,000 drones at the Olympics formed the shape of someone's pants in the air.

Grinding on it nearly killed me in my dream. I think it’s my brain telling me to avoid someone's pants.

The rich aroma of someone's pants, from the hills of Colombia.

In the Hollywood adaptation of Kafka's Metamorhposis, Gregor Samsa turns into just rockin’ that ass.

In the Hollywood adaptation of Kafka's Metamorhposis, Gregor Samsa turns into Patrick Swayze humping.

In the Hollywood adaptation of Kafka's Metamorhposis, Gregor Samsa turns into a Salvador Dali RealDoll™.

In the Hollywood adaptation of Kafka's Metamorhposis, Gregor Samsa turns into deals.

In the Hollywood adaptation of Kafka's Metamorhposis, Gregor Samsa turns into squid.

In the Hollywood adaptation of Kafka's Metamorhposis, Gregor Samsa turns into the toilet.

Some anarchist made the sign over the expressway say “THE STATE IS STARING AT MY TITS.”

Military scientists in Syria found traces of staring at my tits in the soil.

Someone get Michael! His girlfriend is drunk, up on the table, and she’s staring at my tits.

The school’s on lockdown because someone left all the leopards in the hall. And Mr. Ryan was staring at my tits with it!

The 2028 Olympics will feature a new sport: synchronized staring at my tits.

Blue Whaling: the disturbing internet trend in which teens commit suicide by staring at my tits.

Parents should remind their children that the digital bonus pack is not allowed on school grounds.

Parents should remind their children that a little thing of ranch is not allowed on school grounds.

Parents should remind their children that a gentleman with the tummy grumbles is not allowed on school grounds.

Parents should remind their children that all your drama is not allowed on school grounds.

Parents should remind their children that squirting acid is not allowed on school grounds.

Parents should remind their children that every credit card is not allowed on school grounds.

At the book signing, George R.R. Martin signed my copy of ‟A Song of Me and the Homies”! I shook his hand and it felt like me and the homies.

Ariana Grande wore me and the homies on tour and fans are going nuts.

Soldiers in Afghanistan were deployed with me and the homies.

During my time in the Navy I was taunted and called Mr. Me and the Homies.

Matt Lauer had a button under his desk for me and the homies without even getting up.

When me and the homies hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore!

People are freaking out because the new Happy Meal PEZ® dispenser is that time I soiled myself.

My dream entryway has that time I soiled myself statue in it.

The problem with America is that time I soiled myself.

The weirdest thing about that time I soiled myself is that sometimes even girls have that time I soiled myself.

I want to be buried with that time I soiled myself.

Everyone who knows me, knows I love that time I soiled myself.

We can’t stop here! This is $150,000 country!

I can’t believe they used to churn $150,000 into butter.

The 7 deadly sins: lust, gluttony, $150,000, sloth, wrath, us black folk, and pride.

I can’t swing a dead cat around here without hitting $150,000!

Just once, I’d like to hear you say “Thanks, Mom. Thanks for $150,000.”

The refugees must be relocated because the shelter is right on top of $150,000.

10 minutes till dad gets home, and gas station nachos just exploded in the living room.

I didn’t know they made gas station nachos in lemon flavor.

Oh no! Someone rolled up gas station nachos in a duvet and threw it on the side of the road.

My girlfriend kicked gas station nachos, and she’s fine. I want to break up with her but I’m afraid!

The hardware store didn’t have gas station nachos left, so I got duct tape and plastic.

Trying to put on my seat belt in the dark, I accidentally snapped it into gas station nachos.

New gay porno: butt licks with the boys.

New gay porno: every part of Keanu Reeves with the boys.

New gay porno: a fistful of glitter with the boys.

New gay porno: wings with the boys.

New gay porno: their first time with the boys.

New gay porno: the power of love with the boys.