At the street market, a little old man pulled delicious protein out of his trenchcoat and started winking at me furiously. Is he buying or selling?

At the street market, a little old man pulled oil-covered birds out of his trenchcoat and started winking at me furiously. Is he buying or selling?

At the street market, a little old man pulled gay semen out of his trenchcoat and started winking at me furiously. Is he buying or selling?

At the street market, a little old man pulled a list of names out of his trenchcoat and started winking at me furiously. Is he buying or selling?

At the street market, a little old man pulled water out of his trenchcoat and started winking at me furiously. Is he buying or selling?

At the street market, a little old man pulled actual stink lines out of his trenchcoat and started winking at me furiously. Is he buying or selling?

The new Ford F-750 with more torque than a racist.

In scouts we built a huge catapult to launch a racist at the girls camp.

A Make a Wish kid asked for a racist and no one had the heart to tell him ‘no’.

I have an idea! A racist, but for kids! And they all get covered in spicy mayonnaise!

My publisher demanded I remove a racist from my manuscript on account of “decency.”

Crap! I’ve gone and clogged the vacuum hose with a racist.

I may not be much to look at, but I fuck like an entire three course meal.

What separates the winners from the losers is how a person reacts to an entire three course meal.

On my Animal Crossing island, I unlocked an entire three course meal and now my villagers are oral passion.

I went rafting, saw an entire three course meal in the river, no big deal.

Chimps in the wild have been observed using an entire three course meal to forage for food.

When the stadium was demolished it revealed an entire three course meal, bringing onlookers from far and wide.

Mom found my stash of candied cockroaches. That’s why I’m grounded.

I didn’t know they made candied cockroaches in lemon flavor.

I was born on a pile of candied cockroaches.

I prayed to God for candied cockroaches, and God delivered!

I’m Captain Rogers the Rancorous of “Candied Cockroaches,” the finest ship in the harbor!

Mr. President, you have a phone call. Something about candied cockroaches?

At the new Asian-inspired spot downtown, the chef will prepare a tiny black hole right at your table.

I’ve been diagnosed with a tiny black hole.

For my project I’m making I don’t know, stuff?. But I need to see if they have a tiny black hole at the craft store.

YouTube’s Karate Kid reboot is like the original, except everyone’s a tiny black hole.

A mother is accused of feeding her child a tiny black hole as a cure for autism.

The FBI is at the door. I think they’re here because of... you know... a tiny black hole.

Unlike most people, I can feel a cosmopolitan fancy-lad.

The name for Idaho was derived from a Shoshone language term meaning “a cosmopolitan fancy-lad.”

During the war, German scientists experimented to weaponize a cosmopolitan fancy-lad.

An FBI raid on Michael Eisner’s seaside villa turned up a cosmopolitan fancy-lad in every room.

A cosmopolitan fancy-lad gets me into some awkward situations. But I won’t stop.

In the iconic opening to Back to the Future, Marty McFly was a cosmopolitan fancy-lad after hooking up his electric guitar.

In some households, they’ve trained a cosmopolitan fancy lad to use the potty.

The terrorists will execute a hostage every 20 minutes until they receive a cosmopolitan fancy lad.

A cosmopolitan fancy lad is always a contest when I’m involved.

The best comfort food will always be greens, a cosmopolitan fancy lad, and fried chicken.

Craps is a casino game where you try not to roll a cosmopolitan fancy lad.

My parents left a hot pink Post It™ note on my screen that said, “a cosmopolitan fancy lad killing again.”

My daughter started calling the other kids at school fluids from my face, which I think is really just a cry for help.

My daughter started calling the other kids at school the roof, which I think is really just a cry for help.

My daughter started calling the other kids at school $10, which I think is really just a cry for help.

My daughter started calling the other kids at school a urinal cake, which I think is really just a cry for help.

My daughter started calling the other kids at school quiet poots, which I think is really just a cry for help.

My daughter started calling the other kids at school torture porn, which I think is really just a cry for help.

Speaking of my erotic fan fiction, have you read everything? It gets pretty steamy!

Speaking of my erotic fan fiction, have you read gaining altitude? It gets pretty steamy!

Speaking of my erotic fan fiction, have you read orgies? It gets pretty steamy!

Speaking of my erotic fan fiction, have you read a urinal cake? It gets pretty steamy!

Speaking of my erotic fan fiction, have you read the whole bottle of sleeping pills? It gets pretty steamy!

Speaking of my erotic fan fiction, have you read a human child? It gets pretty steamy!

I strongly believe that every scene of a movie should end with a pregnant snake.

My publisher demanded I remove a pregnant snake from my manuscript on account of “decency.”

The cruiseliner struck a pregnant snake and lost power, leaving hundreds of vacationers stranded.

I dreamed I was back in school, late to class. You were there! But you were a pregnant snake.

I’m Captain Rogers the Rancorous of “A Pregnant Snake,” the finest ship in the harbor!

No more a pregnant snake at Starbucks.

I don’t give money to the homeless. Instead I provide shards of bone directly.

Never shake a baby. It could lead to shards of bone.

When the research team activated the interdimensional portal, shards of bone emerged.

At spring training a foul ball bounced into the stands and hit shards of bone.

UFOs, false flags, and military experiments with shards of bone! It’s all here in my manifesto!

The fire raged out of control because the firemen’s hoses got caught around shards of bone.

But of the tree of shattering my bones you shall not eat, for in the day you eat of it you shall surely die.

In my state, shattering my bones is a legal right for me and my native brothers.

The four schools of ethics: relativism, universalism, utilitarianism, and shattering my bones.

The Suez Canal has been completely blocked by shattering my bones, costing billions of dollars.

Experts said that based on preliminary data, shattering my bones appears to have occurred on the Puente Hills thrust fault.

Steve Jobs thought he could cure his cancer with shattering my bones, a naturopathic remedy.

A guerrilla ad campaign for Netflix’s new show has people spotting getting my bones shattered around town.

A weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience getting my bones shattered like I was really there.

I got one hand in my pocket, and the other one is getting my bones shattered.

When I was a kid, to avoid nightmares, I stayed awake by getting my bones shattered.

Come to find out a beginner anal bead was hiding in the shower while I was getting my bones shattered.

I didn’t mean to start getting my bones shattered, it just happened!

I tried to get on the bus but every seat was taken up by scmaltz, i.e. chicken fat.

But of the tree of scmaltz, i.e. chicken fat you shall not eat, for in the day you eat of it you shall surely die.

At the Amazon Go store you can grab scmaltz, i.e. chicken fat and walk right out the door without doing a bad job at pooping.

Ever since I got back from Mexico I’ve been really into scmaltz, i.e. chicken fat.

SpaceX is developing a machine to simulate scmaltz, i.e. chicken fat to prepare for a mission to Mars.

The people next door are sick! I hear they use scmaltz, i.e. chicken fat as a toilet.

Chemtrails are a government conspiracy to spray everyone with spines.

Chemtrails are a government conspiracy to spray everyone with the ashes of their beloved dog.

Chemtrails are a government conspiracy to spray everyone with tainted love.

Chemtrails are a government conspiracy to spray everyone with what Mom made.

Chemtrails are a government conspiracy to spray everyone with a determined shark.

Chemtrails are a government conspiracy to spray everyone with just a peek.