Nezumi

Nezumi

User name
Nezumi
Assigned title
Asshole Admin
Assigned post color
#838304
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Medals
1-Up Medal 1-Up Medal
Registration date
2005 March 26
Post count
778
Score
175 ₧
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Timezone
UTC
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Recent posts by Nezumi

Recent posts by Nezumi

Can't remember if we have one of these, so...

After summoning a demon, you should offer  su as a sacrifice.

After summoning a demon, you should offer a madhouse! A madhouse! as a sacrifice.

After summoning a demon, you should offer another way to kill me as a sacrifice.

After summoning a demon, you should offer half a spider as a sacrifice.

After summoning a demon, you should offer a thought as a sacrifice.

After summoning a demon, you should offer my other kidney as a sacrifice.

After summoning a demon, you should offer a child leash as a sacrifice.


An ostentatious gay porn star
n

Everything I need to live on a desert island: An ostentatious gay porn star and the white bitch.

The N64 was Nintendo’s first console with an ostentatious gay porn star.

Trapped again, MacGyver began his escape with only an ostentatious gay porn star and chewing gum.

Don’t leave the door open! An ostentatious gay porn star will get in.

No thanks. My doctor said an ostentatious gay porn star is bad for the heart.

People are freaking out because the new Happy Meal PEZ® dispenser is an ostentatious gay porn star.


Jan 25 at 15:42 PST
I fed my Mogwai after midnight and it turned into  in.

I fed my Mogwai after midnight and it turned into a humorless Japanese businessman.

I fed my Mogwai after midnight and it turned into a gurgling anus.

I fed my Mogwai after midnight and it turned into amputated eyelids.

I fed my Mogwai after midnight and it turned into intersex children.

I fed my Mogwai after midnight and it turned into a hidden pancake.

I fed my Mogwai after midnight and it turned into a bad landing.


Jan 24 at 22:10 PST
In detention I had to sort my teacher's collection of  pcf.

In detention I had to sort my teacher's collection of insurance.

In detention I had to sort my teacher's collection of the launch codes.

In detention I had to sort my teacher's collection of less lasagna.

In detention I had to sort my teacher's collection of spiders again.

In detention I had to sort my teacher's collection of organic porpoise semen.

In detention I had to sort my teacher's collection of qualms.


Jan 24 at 16:00 PST
A cursed flute
n

In prison we used to cook a cursed flute in the toilet.

Back in my day, we only had a cursed flute for fun and we LIKED IT.

The city council wants to cut down on a cursed flute after 8pm.

A cursed flute has proven extremely popular among young, urban audiences in focus testing.

World War III will be started by a cursed flute.

Rush hadn’t started playing when a stage effect went off early, ejecting a cursed flute into the air!


Jan 22 at 02:41 PST
Expecting mothers often say a prayer to  n that has been placed on the temple's altar.

Expecting mothers often say a prayer to most of my blood that has been placed on the temple's altar.

Expecting mothers often say a prayer to the key to my heart that has been placed on the temple's altar.

Expecting mothers often say a prayer to wings that has been placed on the temple's altar.

Expecting mothers often say a prayer to a built-in toilet that has been placed on the temple's altar.

Expecting mothers often say a prayer to two VCRs that has been placed on the temple's altar.

Expecting mothers often say a prayer to a clumsy lesbian that has been placed on the temple's altar.


Jan 22 at 02:38 PST
The chalice of horrors
n

Went to Uwajimaya, bought the chalice of horrors, dried and in a bag. Wanna try?

After Lincoln was shot, the chalice of horrors briefly became the next president.

Mr. President, you have a phone call. Something about the chalice of horrors?

At the coffee shop they put “the chalice of horrors” on my cup. I ran out covering my face.

At the acupuncture clinic they stuck needles in snake jizz. That’s supposed to help me with the chalice of horrors?!

The sign at the fountain says not to throw the chalice of horrors in.


Jan 21 at 15:42 PST
My Karate sensei
nc

All the best love stories include my Karate sensei.

My parents used to beat me with my Karate sensei. I just had to lay there and take it.

Help! I’m my Karate sensei and I need YOU to do something about it!

When I saw my Karate sensei I was nervous, but when it started coming toward me, just being a fucking beast, I freaked!

The MacBook Air weighs 1.1 lbs and comes with a USB-C port and my Karate sensei! Groovy!

A Freudian slip is when you mean to say your mother, but you accidentally say, “my Karate sensei.”


Jan 16 at 00:54 PST
My nipples hardened when I felt  su brush against my skin.

My nipples hardened when I felt the black president brush against my skin.

My nipples hardened when I felt Woman 2.0 brush against my skin.

My nipples hardened when I felt a human-sized hamster ball brush against my skin.

My nipples hardened when I felt an iceberg brush against my skin.

My nipples hardened when I felt your first time brush against my skin.

My nipples hardened when I felt a hidden pancake brush against my skin.


Jan 16 at 00:51 PST
During a contraband search, a prison guard found  m hidden in one inmate's mattress.

During a contraband search, a prison guard found a dog boner hidden in one inmate's mattress.

During a contraband search, a prison guard found caressing his face hidden in one inmate's mattress.

During a contraband search, a prison guard found literally every single thing hidden in one inmate's mattress.

During a contraband search, a prison guard found machine gun fire hidden in one inmate's mattress.

During a contraband search, a prison guard found texting me hidden in one inmate's mattress.

During a contraband search, a prison guard found what’s inside hidden in one inmate's mattress.




During a contraband search, a prison guard found  m hidden under one inmate's mattress.

During a contraband search, a prison guard found my birthday hidden under one inmate's mattress.

During a contraband search, a prison guard found Tony’s prison baby hidden under one inmate's mattress.

During a contraband search, a prison guard found a hole hidden under one inmate's mattress.

During a contraband search, a prison guard found Evander Holyfield’s ear hidden under one inmate's mattress.

During a contraband search, a prison guard found my toucan, going crazy hidden under one inmate's mattress.

During a contraband search, a prison guard found sweat and dead skin hidden under one inmate's mattress.