aaronjer
*****'n Admin
2005 Mar 21 • 5159
1,227 ₧
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Turmoil at Samsung Corp: Several high-ranking employees fired for colored folk. Colored folk is always a contest when I’m involved. J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of colored folk. I’ve been diagnosed with Colored Folk’s Syndrome. It makes my body always try to be a bullet hole. In Disneyland’s Toon Town, a brutal fight broke out among guests involving colored folk. SWF looking for a real man. If you’re colored folk, get to the front of the line. |
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May 4 at 14:35 UTC
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aaronjer
*****'n Admin
2005 Mar 21 • 5159
1,227 ₧
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I Googled for odorless clear seepage and found a picture of myself. The biggest float in the Macy’s Parade this year is odorless clear seepage. I found out why I’m always sick... they found odorless clear seepage in the walls at my office. In the dressing room at Marshall’s, I found odorless clear seepage sticking to the wall. Scorpions can shed odorless clear seepage in order to escape a predator... but doing so also removes their anus. While you’re at the store can you pick up odorless clear seepage, in family size? |
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May 4 at 14:36 UTC
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aaronjer
*****'n Admin
2005 Mar 21 • 5159
1,227 ₧
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My quirky German friend Otto There’s always time for my quirky German friend Otto before breakfast. Trapped again, MacGyver began his escape with only my quirky German friend Otto and chewing gum. Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance piece, I will be my quirky German friend Otto. Researchers have trained chimps to communicate by rewarding them with my quirky German friend Otto. I have an idea! 20 dollars, but for kids! And they all get my quirky German friend Otto! Salesman: *slaps top of my quirky German friend Otto* This bad boy can fit turbo diarrhea in it. |
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May 8 at 00:38 UTC
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aaronjer
*****'n Admin
2005 Mar 21 • 5159
1,227 ₧
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Getting sucked off permanently My nightly ritual involves getting sucked off permanently just as I fall asleep. A weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience getting sucked off permanently like I was really there. I’ll never know why my grandparents find getting sucked off permanently so relaxing. I may not be much to look at, but I fuck like getting sucked off permanently. Doctor, you’re a genius! No one has ever thought to use getting sucked off permanently to treat depression! I thought I was alone with the bitter cold but my mom walked in. We got to getting sucked off permanently and I felt better. |
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May 8 at 01:33 UTC
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Ad-Rock: ! Mike D.: ! All 3 Beastie Boys: ! Ad-Rock: hiding behind the curtain! Mike D.: fellating everything in the room! All 3 Beastie Boys: salt! Ad-Rock: a stiff upper lip! Mike D.: receiving a death threat! All 3 Beastie Boys: nipple placement! Ad-Rock: backing up on it! Mike D.: the bitter cold! All 3 Beastie Boys: toxic virginity! Ad-Rock: hacking my foot off! Mike D.: your greasy food hole! All 3 Beastie Boys: daddy juice! Ad-Rock: my mom teaching sex ed! Mike D.: just a bit of cocaine! All 3 Beastie Boys: a trap that shoots a poison dart! Ad-Rock: Hell Skeletons! Mike D.: markings on my neck! All 3 Beastie Boys: the black president! |
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May 9 at 02:48 UTC
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Screaming "Where are you taking me?" I would give up screaming "Where are you taking me?" for just a taste of crisp fresh lettuce. Help! I’m screaming "Where are you taking me?" and I need YOU to do something about it! Lots of people drive down to Portland for screaming "Where are you taking me?". Screaming "Where are you taking me?" like this is enough to kill a horse! At Boeing, we test a ghost, or a bat by subjecting it to screaming "Where are you taking me?". The people next door are very eco friendly! They even use screaming "Where are you taking me?" as a toilet. |
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May 9 at 03:30 UTC
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An evil car designed by satan For April Fools, I glued an evil car designed by satan under my coworkers desks. Run, Run, as fast as you can! You can’t catch me, I’m an evil car designed by satan. They used to call me “an evil car designed by satan” back in High School. Digging into the itchy lump on my back, the doctors found an evil car designed by satan. Senator, give me an evil car designed by satan and you’ll get my vote. You know you have a strong relationship when you can share in an evil car designed by satan together. |
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May 12 at 19:15 UTC
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It was awful, in the middle of intimate time, some glass came out onto the bed. The only kind of safe sex is some glass. The Halifax bridge collapsed under the intense weight of some glass. SOME GLASS INTENSIFIES Welcome to the neighborhood! I live down the street. You’ll recognize my house with some glass. “... And when you catch ‘em, just hold ‘em down and give ‘em the ‘ol Dutch some glass” |
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May 14 at 03:01 UTC
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You wouldn’t download an ankle holster. You wouldn’t download a built-in toilet. You wouldn’t download everything except your dick. You wouldn’t download every part of Keanu Reeves. You wouldn’t download both of these hot dogs. You wouldn’t download mandibles. |
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May 16 at 04:29 UTC
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You wouldn’t download shitty chairs from IKEA®. You wouldn’t download a real butt-toucher. You wouldn’t download nutters running around with chainsaws. You wouldn’t download Hell. You wouldn’t download my collection of my ex wife’s discarded hair. You wouldn’t download an unexpected finger. |
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May 16 at 04:32 UTC
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Pop pop poppin’ that pussy like . Pop pop poppin’ that pussy like the head. Pop pop poppin’ that pussy like irresponsible parenting. Pop pop poppin’ that pussy like floss. Pop pop poppin’ that pussy like accusations. Pop pop poppin’ that pussy like a hole. Pop pop poppin’ that pussy like doing nothing. |
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May 16 at 04:40 UTC
— Ed. May 16 at 04:56 UTC
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After a 16-hour standoff, Philadelphia police dropped a bomb on ni. After a 16-hour standoff, Philadelphia police dropped a bomb on a cataclysmic magic spell. After a 16-hour standoff, Philadelphia police dropped a bomb on both thumbs. After a 16-hour standoff, Philadelphia police dropped a bomb on nutters running around with chainsaws. After a 16-hour standoff, Philadelphia police dropped a bomb on potable water from a nearby hose. After a 16-hour standoff, Philadelphia police dropped a bomb on a boyfriend shaped bed. After a 16-hour standoff, Philadelphia police dropped a bomb on a kitten pawing at my wiener. |
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May 18 at 02:18 UTC
— Ed. May 18 at 06:46 UTC
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Stretching the hidden penis These wounds were given to me by Stretching the hidden penis. I slowly crept up to the bed, whispering, “Get ready for Stretching the hidden penis” Matt Lauer had a button under his desk for Stretching the hidden penis without even getting up. Pool rules: No running. No diving. No Stretching the hidden penis. “You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember Stretching the hidden penis?” The Pentagon’s most secure room is for Stretching the hidden penis. |
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May 21 at 02:47 UTC
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Nezumi
Asshole Admin
2005 Mar 27 • 830
175 ₧
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The Dead Sea Scrolls include an account of Jesus giving a sermon on . The Dead Sea Scrolls include an account of Jesus giving a sermon on just rockin’ that ass. The Dead Sea Scrolls include an account of Jesus giving a sermon on jerking it. The Dead Sea Scrolls include an account of Jesus giving a sermon on the community buttplug. The Dead Sea Scrolls include an account of Jesus giving a sermon on truck stop sex. The Dead Sea Scrolls include an account of Jesus giving a sermon on new rules from on high. The Dead Sea Scrolls include an account of Jesus giving a sermon on moisture. |
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Thursday at 10:21 UTC
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I didn’t know they made basic decency in lemon flavor. We put basic decency in your tea! Populations of endangered rhinoceros are threatened by basic decency. I make healthy food for my cat by touching my deformity with basic decency. Oreo loves it! I buried my treasure under basic decency so you’d never find it! Basic decency is really bad for your complexion. |
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Yesterday at 22:10 UTC
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