My girlfriend was getting shoes out of the closet. Lucky she didn’t look up, or she’d have seen making a lot of money.
Could you buy me making a lot of money? I’ll pay you back.
During sex, my girlfriend started making a lot of money. But she finished and we got back at it.
Every morning I hop out of bed and get straight to making a lot of money, even before I put on my clothes.
Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance piece, I will make a lot of money.
Sometimes, when I’m feeling naughty, I start using my face as a fly swatter before making a lot of money.
I would give up signing up for a website for just a taste of complete ecstasy.
If Benjamin Franklin didn’t invent signing up for a website, certainly others would have.
United Airlines had a passenger beaten and dragged off a plane when he refused to give up signing up for a website.
Hiding from the Pope under the Medici Chapel, Michelangelo spent his time signing up for a website.
Signing up for a website? I got all dressed up for signing up for a website?
I got signing up for a website at the adult toy store
After a long day I crawled into bed, only to find a website.
Anthony Bourdain had a website in his system when he died.
At church they taught me that sounding like “SHOOOOM!” leads to a website.
Don Quixote, having never seen a windmill before, instantly assumed it was a website and tried to attack it.
They don’t make a website like they used to!
What’s wrong with your brother? He walks like he’s a website.
We finally hired a guy at work to take care of digging down and down.
For 35 years I’ve done this job for the same pay, digging down and down every single day.
Military scientists in Syria found traces of digging down and down in the soil.
They cut open the crocodile to find pubes, still digging down and down like always.
I have to visit my uncle for Christmas. He’s always bein’ all digging down and down when he drinks egg nog. It’s so weird!
My financial analyst has advised me to invest my fortune in digging down and down.
Study finds restroom hand dryers suck in a cone of shame and blow it on your hands.
I left my shoes outside and they filled up with a cone of shame.
A billboard on my way home had a picture of a cone of shame and the words “Too Many Cats”.
Apparently I owe $350 to the pool guy for putting a cone of shame in my pool.
You evaded my “A Cone of Shame” attack! Most impressive.
At the new Asian-inspired spot downtown, the chef will prepare a cone of shame right at your table.
If I ever catch you being too busy with herpes medicine I’m sending you straight to hell.
The new artsy indie game “Herpes Medicine” is a deeply emotional exploration of trusting everything the devil says.
The number one issue for voters is the economy, followed by herpes medicine and then healthcare.
Go, go, Gadget Herpes Medicine!
Donald Trump’s first act as president was to outlaw herpes medicine.
The city council wants to cut down on herpes medicine after 8pm.
Every French soldier carries my workload in his knapsack.
I saw two hobos fighting over my workload behind the library. One of them was getting kidnapped in an Uber.
It’s huge. It’s wet. It’s sprawled out in the parking lot. It’s my workload.
Our artisanal process ages my workload for 3 years, until it's exquisitely sublime.
... And so my mom asked me, “If all your friends were my workload, would you be my workload as well?”
I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then my workload really affected me.
If ancient secrets were in the Olympics, I might actually watch.
It’s taking forever to scrape the remains of ancient secrets off the grill.
Joe Arpaio infamously put prisoners in a chain gang with ancient secrets between every two.
The children in this wing of the hospital are here because of ancient secrets.
Surviving my overdose, from that day forward I’ve dedicated my life to ancient secrets.
Peter Molyneux’s new game will use facial recognition to explore ancient secrets in a very realistic way.
Josh said, on the way in to work today, he swerved around a dentist drill on the freeway.
Everyone who knows me, knows I love a dentist drill.
The payment system at the grocery store makes me put a dentist drill in the slot, until to goes BEEP!
Help! I can’t find my daughter! She looks like a dentist drill.
Wolves don’t eat a dentist drill, and neither should kings.
These penguins lay eggs which must stay under a dentist drill to keep warm.
For April Fools, I glued a dead deer under my coworkers desks.
My wife cooked a dead deer in a sous vide bag last night mmmm!
They said a dead deer was out of my league, but look at me now! I’m the king of a dead deer!
I just dug up a dead deer in my backyard! I’m not sure whether to call the police or a museum!
“You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember a dead deer?”
Growing up we never had a dead deer, but we had love.