The secretive Task Force 88 of was responsible for government-subsidised dating during the Iraq War.

I will do anything for government-subsidised dating. But I won’t do that!

A Make a Wish kid asked for government-subsidised dating and no one had the heart to tell him ‘no’.

Government-subsidised dating is bad for your car’s engine.

Government-subsidised dating can be used as a dildo, if you’re brave enough.

Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on government-subsidised dating.

Do they make pills for prosecuting transnational criminal gangs?

The hottest new cryptocurrency is “Prosecuting-transnational-criminal-gangs-coin”

Donald Trump’s first act as president was to outlaw prosecuting transnational criminal gangs.

Prosecuting-Transnational-Criminal-Gangs-a-Roni: the San Francisco treat!

I take pride in prosecuting transnational criminal gangs.

At Home Depot they have this new all-in-one tool that’s shaped like a rake for prosecuting transnational criminal gangs.

If you were to ask if ...........KA-BLAM!! is a sex thing for me, the answer would be 'not yet, but it will be later'.

If you were to ask if working as intended is a sex thing for me, the answer would be 'not yet, but it will be later'.

If you were to ask if an active shooter is a sex thing for me, the answer would be 'not yet, but it will be later'.

If you were to ask if fucking in front of the dog is a sex thing for me, the answer would be 'not yet, but it will be later'.

If you were to ask if the men who helped me is a sex thing for me, the answer would be 'not yet, but it will be later'.

If you were to ask if Fancy Santas is a sex thing for me, the answer would be 'not yet, but it will be later'.

Last night at the club a dancing FBI agent accidentally shot an Italian cop getting into his little squad car with his tiny espresso cup.

I clean an Italian cop getting into my little squad car with my tiny espresso cup by putting it in the dishwasher. It usually doesn’t end up pulling out just in time.

The refugees must be relocated because the shelter is right on top of an Italian cop getting into their little squad car with their tiny espresso cup.

My car looks like it’s an Italian cop getting into my little squad car with my tiny espresso cup but I don’t mind. It gets me from point A to point B.

As the A.I. robot gained self-awareness, it immediately began an Italian cop getting into its little squad car with its tiny espresso cup.

Indiana Jones grabbed the idol and an Italian cop getting into his little squad car with his tiny espresso cup came rolling after him!

The Suez Canal has been completely blocked by shooting at a school bus full of kids and also a very sexy teacher, costing billions of dollars.

The true reason for the Tacoma Narrows Bridge collapse? Shooting at a school bus full of kids and also a very sexy teacher.

After the war, the British government had Alan Turing chemically castrated because he was shooting at a school bus full of kids and also a very sexy teacher.

I got pulled over the other day when I was shooting at a school bus full of kids and also a very sexy teacher. Apparently, that’s a crime.

Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance piece, I will shoot at a school bus full of kids and also a very sexy teacher.

Shooting at a school bus full of kids and also a very sexy teacher? That’s a Chad move.

Studies have shown even a little bit of swallowing a Xanex the size of a Snickers bars can change the teen brain.

If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t even be swallowing a Xanex the size of a Snickers bars.

I’ve decided to allow swallowing a Xanex the size of a Snickers bars in my home.

Swallowing a Xanex the size of a Snickers bars is known to the state of California to cause cancer.

My usual at Starbucks is a Grande Caramel Swallowing-a-Xanex-the-size-of-a-Snickers-bars-iatto with whip and sprinkles.

I think it’s lovely that you’re getting into swallowing a Xanex the size of a Snickers bars, but I won’t tell your father. He’ll disapprove.

R Kelly fantasizes about getting together all the girls in England and choosing a band out of him with a young Beyonce.

Everybody was getting together all the girls in England and choosing a band out of them in front of me in the McDonald’s drive thru.

Don’t you hate when you see getting together all the girls in England and choosing a band out of you in the carpool lane?

The biggest float in the Macy’s Parade this year is getting together all the girls in England and choosing a band out of me.

Welcome to the Grand Hotel. Feel free to get together all the girls in England and choosing a band out of us at any time.

I prayed to God for getting together all the girls in England and choosing a band out of me, and God delivered!

Dear parent or guardian, lately your daughter has almost been a new order where the currency is MURDER.

I tried to get on the bus but every seat was taken up by a new order where the currency is MURDER.

Scorpions can shed a new order where the currency is MURDER in order to escape a predator... but doing so also removes their anus.

Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance piece, I will be a new order where the currency is MURDER.

I can’t seem to find a new order where the currency is MURDER that isn’t little sausage crumbles!

A salesman came to the door selling a new order where the currency is MURDER. I didn’t open. He slid a virus under the door.

Bumper sticker: My other ride is two door-to-door sickos.

Two best friends and an adorable alien take a road trip, and discover two door-to-door sickos along the way.

After last week’s stunning victory, the wrestler earned his nickname “Two Door-to-door Sickos”

Squad, circle up. This season is not going our way. It’s time to talk two door-to-door sickos.

When the bear came at me it was like two door-to-door sickos.

The Capital One Venture card earns points when you buy two door-to-door sickos, and you get a karate chop as a sign up bonus.

In the escape room we had to figure out pregnancy. We tried sautéed panda asshole and it worked!

The people next door are very eco friendly! They even use sautéed panda asshole as a toilet.

Howdy neighbor, love what you’ve done with the garage! Let’s get sautéed panda asshole sometime!

In Arizona, because of the heat, they hand out sautéed panda asshole for free on every corner.

It’s taking forever to scrape the remains of sautéed panda asshole off the grill.

If Benjamin Franklin didn’t invent sautéed panda asshole, certainly others would have.