McDonald’s combo menu #3: Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a large Coke, and a side of chicken ramen.

We finally hired a guy at work to take care of chicken ramen.

A Freudian slip is when you mean to say your mother, but you accidentally say, “chicken ramen.”

My dream house has a dispensor for chicken ramen built in.

Chicken ramen is always a contest when I’m involved.

CHICKEN RAMEN INTENSIFIES

I’m undergoing immersion therapy by continually exposing myself to hog protein.

My fiancee wants our wedding cake to have hog protein on the top.

This ship’s gonna sink unless we throw hog protein overboard!

Could you buy me hog protein? I’ll pay you back.

Vampires can only be killed by hog protein.

Don’t tell anyone, but I keep hog protein in my sex gymnasium.

I wanted to get revenge on my neighbor, so I crushed a medical device you can swallow.

Eventually, the Soviets solved the problem by pouring concrete over a medical device you can swallow.

This one simple trick is all you need to spice up the bedroom: a medical device you can swallow.

I got so drunk last night that I got a medical device you can swallow all over everyone and everything.

My financial analyst has advised me to invest my fortune in a medical device you can swallow.

I don’t give money to the homeless. Instead I provide a medical device you can swallow directly.

How can getting bit by a horse be this cute?

If you get bit by a horse right, all that matters is you have a good time.

The authorities followed the trail of getting bit by a horse, leading them straight to the suspect.

If I ever catch you getting bit by a horse with sinister plans I’m sending you straight to hell.

Hiding from the Pope under the Medici Chapel, Michelangelo spent his time getting bit by a horse.

Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider getting bit by a horse.

For Christmas, everyone got only 2 hours with your butthole in their stockings!

I can’t believe it, Jason! I’ve been gone for 24 hours and you’re still only 2 hours with your butthole!

Interested in my services? Mail me at: only-2-hours-with-your-butthole@sloppy-seconds.biz

Georgia O’Keeffe famously painted flowers that look like only 2 hours with your butthole.

Don Quixote, having never seen a windmill before, instantly assumed it was only 2 hours with your butthole and tried to attack it.

Researchers have trained chimps to communicate by rewarding them with only 2 hours with your butthole.

Strangely, right before Hitler killed himself, he had a 2-year ban (aimbot detected) killed as well.

Cosmetic surgeons hate this! A 2-year ban (aimbot detected) can increase your breast size in three weeks!

Ever since the accident, I freeze in terror at the sight of a 2-year ban (aimbot detected).

I have an idea! Thinking about dwarves, but for kids! And they all get a 2-year ban (aimbot detected)!

As the magician crammed the last of the gravy dimension into his mouth, a 2-year ban (aimbot detected) popped out his ear!

When I find myself in times of trouble, a 2-year ban (aimbot detected) comes to me, speaking words of wisdom: a big, red X.

The MacBook Air weighs 1.1 lbs and comes with a USB-C port and cold penis! Groovy!

These wounds were given to me by cold penis.

And my mother said, “How come you’re not cold penis like your brother?”

“You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember cold penis?”

In the escape room we had to figure out a fridge full of heads. We tried cold penis and it worked!

I take pride in cold penis.

Happiness: Bio-dad, a slut who will do anything, and twerking while uncontrollably farting.

Can’t go out because of you, ya dirty bum on your face? Ask your dermatologist if Zal-bio-dad-cor is right for you.

Bio-dad: It’s nature’s candy!

Josh said, on the way in to work today, he swerved around bio-dad on the freeway.

For 35 years I’ve done this job for the same pay, bio-dad every single day.

Sorry to bother, but I heard you were talking about bio-dad over here. I love bio-dad!

Working on my car I found my biological son had crawled inside the engine block and died.

I went to cut the cake, and to my surprise, my biological son popped out!

Making the best chocolate chip cookies requires my biological son.

“Rotate left!” I yelled as my brother and I tried to get my biological son up the stairs.

Extra padding for my butt nearly killed me in my dream. I think it’s my brain telling me to avoid my biological son.

In the escape room we had to figure out my biological son. We tried the infection and it worked!

During her performance, Miley Cyrus let fans touch what killed my boy and her groin.

What killed my boy is legally grounds for divorce in 28 states.

So I agree to go up to the apartment, where I find what killed my boy all lubed up, ready to go. Well how-dee-doo!

If you see your dog scooting his butt on the carpet, it probably means he’s what killed my boy.

I bought what killed my boy yesterday and now I can’t stop getting tickled until you bust a nut!

Last thing I hear before the anesthesia kicks in is my neurosurgeon saying he’s what killed my boy.

When I saw psycho-killer vibes I was nervous, but when it started coming toward me, pulling on my butthole hairs, I freaked!

I didn’t think this house would sell with psycho-killer vibes in the attic.

Do you know what happens if you don’t take psycho-killer vibes seriously? Working me up into a frenzy

Here at Walt Disney World Resort, we are committed to using psycho-killer vibes wisely.

Psycho-killer vibes is legally grounds for divorce in 28 states.

Turmoil at Samsung Corp: Several high-ranking employees fired for psycho-killer vibes.