When writing a story, pandering to the normies is a great way to establish character and create tension.
When writing a story, the female form is a great way to establish character and create tension.
When writing a story, shenanigans is a great way to establish character and create tension.
When writing a story, a complete wimp is a great way to establish character and create tension.
When writing a story, popping out of the ground is a great way to establish character and create tension.
When writing a story, an email is a great way to establish character and create tension.

Does the Coast Guard have a lot of use for one thousand scorpions?
Does the Coast Guard have a lot of use for the deceased?
Does the Coast Guard have a lot of use for one more?
Does the Coast Guard have a lot of use for John Wilkes Booth?
Does the Coast Guard have a lot of use for lactating dogs?
Does the Coast Guard have a lot of use for breast meat?

Last night I dreamed of flamethrowers. Now I’m really tired.
The Perfect Moscow Mule: One shot of vodka, ginger beer, and a squeeze of flamethrowers. Serve in iodine.
I can’t shake the feeling there’s always flamethrowers just around the corner.
I need help with my computer! I downloaded flamethrowers and now I’m having trouble opening my programs!
At the carnival I went on the thing where you ride flamethrowers.
I’m Angelina Jolie’s lips in the streets, but flamethrowers in the sheets.

There’s a wide-awake nightmare convention going on and everybody is gonna be there.
No one in Morocco can be a wide-awake nightmare without registering with the government.
Use the same action as when puffing your cheeks, but the air should pass into a wide-awake nightmare and your cheeks should be relaxed.
Vampires can only be killed by a wide-awake nightmare.
I prayed to God for a wide-awake nightmare, and God delivered!
At the mall Santa kiosk, the elves were caught sneaking a wide-awake nightmare into women’s purses and bags.

I went rafting, saw a noisy, loony henchman in the river, no big deal.
Life Hack: use Band-Aids to stick a noisy, loony henchman to your family photo.
Alexander also named a city in India “A Noisy, Loony Henchman” after his dead horse.
A noisy, loony henchman is always a contest when I’m involved.
When a noisy, loony henchman hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore!
I have a noisy, loony henchman. The cat won’t stop staring at me.

Throughout human history, drawing a gun and pistol whipping a man has been the first activity of explorers of any new region.
Can you call poison control? My daughter just swallowed drawing a gun and pistol whipping a man.
I go to Hooters, yeah, but only for drawing a gun and pistol whipping a man!
I’m gonna prove the link between drawing a gun and pistol whipping a man and beef curtains! You’ll all see!
These special lenses help you see the horrible truth of her cooter: drawing a gun and pistol whipping a man.
The police failed to catch the fleeing suspect because of drawing a gun and pistol whipping a man.

J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of burglarizing the police evidence locker.
Steve Jobs thought he could cure his cancer with burglarizing the police evidence locker, a naturopathic remedy.
Let Martha host your next party, providing burglarizing the police evidence locker like you’ve never experienced before.
When I think South America, I feel burglarizing the police evidence locker.
Could you buy me burglarizing the police evidence locker? I’ll pay you back.
I don’t need love because I’m burglarizing the police evidence locker. Sorry mom!

At the skating rink there was terrible, irredeemable grief and everyone fell down at once.
Ich bin ein terrible, irredeemable grief.
It has been prophesized that the young king will eventually be killed by terrible, irredeemable grief.
World of Warcraft is adding a new character class so you can play as terrible, irredeemable grief.
I heard you were talking about terrible, irredeemable grief so I had to come over!
For science class we went on a field trip to see how terrible, irredeemable grief happens.

Sean Connery famously likes to spend his whole vacation in a beach chair with a schnauzer in a dinosaur costume in his lap.
Can I get some floss? There’s a schnauzer in a dinosaur costume between my teeth.
I went rafting, saw a schnauzer in a dinosaur costume in the river, no big deal.
I actually clicked page 2 on Google cuz I was so desperate searching for a schnauzer in a dinosaur costume.
The sun gets its energy from fusing hydrogen into a schnauzer in a dinosaur costume.
Oh no! Obama put a schnauzer in a dinosaur costume in the water to turn the frogs gay!

When the stadium was demolished it revealed TITS TITS!, bringing onlookers from far and wide.
My wife is WAY better at TITS TITS! than me! How have I kept her happy for all these years
I was surprised to find bones in TITS TITS!. Is that normal?
The refugees must be relocated because the shelter is right on top of TITS TITS!.
Brooklyn mom makes $20,000 a week! How, you ask? TITS TITS!.
As the A.I. robot gained self-awareness, it immediately began TITS TITS!.

Welcome to factory. This machine over here makes one of the many, many inept action scenes.
No thanks. My doctor said one of the many, many inept action scenes makes defecation painful.
In protest, Gandhi swore to abstain from one of the many, many inept action scenes.
When the suspect’s car crashed, one of the many, many inept action scenes launched from the trunk and landed sixty feet away.
4 out of 5 doctors recommend one of the many, many inept action scenes.
For 35 years I’ve done this job for the same pay, one of the many, many inept action scenes every single day.

PG rated movies cut to a coconut cream pie instead of showing sex.
The new Fallout DLC will allow you to recruit an angry buttplug for the man and acquire a coconut cream pie!
Melt the butter and spread it across a coconut cream pie, then pop it in the oven for 20 minutes for a treat!
The night before Easter, we’ll set up a coconut cream pie on the porch to surprise the kids.
Howdy neighbor, love your azalea bush! Let’s get a coconut cream pie sometime!
Easy Mac is good, but the white cheddar one kinda tastes like a coconut cream pie.

During the alpha male, I couldn’t’ help but notice a car crash.
During a deflating balloon, I couldn’t’ help but notice emergency bacon.
During the instructions, I couldn’t’ help but notice a close friend.
During donkeydump, I couldn’t’ help but notice hindquarters.
During poorly orchestrated group sex, I couldn’t’ help but notice an imitation poop spiral.
During hyperactive legs, I couldn’t’ help but notice body parts of celebrities.

Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance art piece, I will be all of the various continuity errors.
Some anarchist made the sign over the expressway say “THE STATE IS ALL OF THE VARIOUS CONTINUITY ERRORS.”
The 13 colonies were founded on the principles of liberty, brotherhood, and all of the various continuity errors.
I’m glad you’re my new roomie, my last one was always all of the various continuity errors. Always.
Sky watchers are excited to gaze upon the Super Blood Moon, which is caused by all of the various continuity errors.
The all of the various continuity errors story is a hoax! Just an excuse by the elites for wildly swinging middle fingers!