I can’t swing a dead cat around here without hitting Gonzo (the Muppet)!

I found out why I’m always sick... they found Gonzo (the Muppet) in the walls at my office.

Traffic has only gotten worse since the transportation department deployed Gonzo (the Muppet) up and down the highway.

Our artisanal process ages Gonzo (the Muppet) for 3 years, until it's exquisitely sublime.

A Russian couple taught a bear how to be Gonzo (the Muppet).

It’s not delivery. It’s Gonzo (the Muppet).

The patient screamed until, right on the operating table, his stomach burst open and Gonzo from the Muppets emerged!

Last night I dreamed of Gonzo from the Muppets. Now to make it real.

To brew a love potion, besides eye of newt you need Gonzo from the Muppets.

A ripcord is a temporary setback on the road to Gonzo from the Muppets!

I misclicked while my boss was looking over my shoulder and my video of Gonzo from the Muppets came on the screen.

At BASF, we don’t *make* Gonzo from the Muppets, we make Gonzo from the Muppets *better*.

Rush hadn’t started playing when a stage effect went off early, ejecting whoopie in the poopy into the air!

It’s always nice to relive whoopie in the poopy in my mind.

Actually owning whoopie in the poopy? In this economy?

Your art inspires me to be whoopie in the poopy.

Disneyland has a zero-tolerance policy for whoopie in the poopy.

Last thing I hear before the anesthesia kicks in is my neurosurgeon saying he’s whoopie in the poopy.

Zaloxocor is not for everyone. Side effects include a rat’s... anus?, a man in a meat suit, dry mouth, and having whoopie in the poopy.

The survey team detected having whoopie in the poopy at the work site so I threw my tools in my truck and drove straight there.

I had visions of having whoopie in the poopy while in the sensory deprivation tank.

Wine tasters describe this vintage as having silky hints of caramel and a mouthfeel like having whoopie in the poopy.

Just once, I’d like to hear you say “Thanks, Mom. Thanks for having whoopie in the poopy.”

The plot twist in the new Knives Out: a built-in toilet turned out to have whoopie in the poopy.

I didn’t mean to start my coolest Harry Potter theory, it just happened!

As an homage to humanity, NASA has broadcasted my coolest Harry Potter theory to the vastness of space.

Making the best chocolate chip cookies requires my coolest Harry Potter theory.

This ship’s gonna sink unless we throw my coolest Harry Potter theory overboard!

The Japanese insist on their traditional right to hunt my coolest Harry Potter theory in the sea.

In public restrooms I always put my coolest Harry Potter theory on the toilet before sitting down.

Ouch! I banged both my shins into rib tickling brutatlity in the garage.

Astronaut Chris Hadfield is well known for sneaking rib tickling brutatlity onto the International Space Station.

Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on rib tickling brutatlity.

Every French soldier carries rib tickling brutatlity in his knapsack.

During her performance, Miley Cyrus let fans touch rib tickling brutatlity and her groin.

While you’re at the store can you pick up rib tickling brutatlity, in family size?

Sorry, we can’t serve alcohol since the passing of The Hilarious Atrocities Act.

At the doctor they pumped grandma full of hilarious atrocities.

The fire raged out of control because the firemen’s hoses got caught around hilarious atrocities.

I’ve been diagnosed with hilarious atrocities.

Can you come get me? I agreed to go with some guys who promised me hilarious atrocities and it’s getting weird.

I left my shoes outside and they filled up with hilarious atrocities.

Excessive anal torture? I got all dressed up for excessive anal torture?

My PC stopped working so I opened it up and found excessive anal torture inside.

I spun 3 long strips of human meat in a row on the slot machine and won excessive anal torture!

This one simple trick is all you need to spice up the bedroom: excessive anal torture.

It’s gonna take a lot to drag me away from you. There’s nothing that excessive anal torture could ever do.

A guerrilla ad campaign for Netflix’s new show has people spotting excessive anal torture around town.

The authorities followed the trail of her mating behavior, leading them straight to the suspect.

At least I was trying to cheer people up when I took my mating behavior to the funeral.

As the magician crammed the last of his sexual awakening into his mouth, his mating behavior popped out his ear!

In the end, the obvious plot twist was that the serial killer was actually his mating behavior.

“Rotate left!” I yelled as my brother and I tried to get his mating behavior up the stairs.

Huge scandal this week as the PM of Australia was caught with his mating behavior.

At the end of this movie it turns out getting sewn shut was actually girl problems, and I ugly cried.

At the end of this movie it turns out a deathbed was actually an injection, and I ugly cried.

At the end of this movie it turns out complete madness was actually fucking animals, and I ugly cried.

At the end of this movie it turns out something even sexier was actually leaving no trace, and I ugly cried.

At the end of this movie it turns out pitching a god damn hissy fit was actually zero chupacabras, and I ugly cried.

At the end of this movie it turns out giant meaty hands was actually a karate chop, and I ugly cried.

Mmmm! Former president Ronald Reagan! Yum!

Is your teen engaging in “Former President Ronald Reagan Challenge”? Sucking former president Ronald Reagan into their nose and out their mouth?

In some households, they’ve trained former president Ronald Reagan to use the potty.

Ever since former president Ronald Reagan appeared in the neighborhood, I’ve stayed inside.

A new study found that giving employees former president Ronald Reagan can motivate them more than a cash bonus.

Woah, weird, is anyone else getting turned on by former president Ronald Reagan?

We’re having a spring-loaded boxing glove situation. Please stand by...

When the mixture is bubbling, delicately add a spring-loaded boxing glove to the pan, while stirring constantly.

In New York, a new law went into effect making it legal to buy a spring-loaded boxing glove from dispensaries.

These penguins lay eggs which must stay under a spring-loaded boxing glove to keep warm.

NASA spent millions developing a pen that could write in space. The Russians used a spring-loaded boxing glove.

I think a lot of people would pay to see a spring-loaded boxing glove.

During a contraband search, a prison guard found a dog boner hidden in one inmate's mattress.

During a contraband search, a prison guard found caressing his face hidden in one inmate's mattress.

During a contraband search, a prison guard found literally every single thing hidden in one inmate's mattress.

During a contraband search, a prison guard found machine gun fire hidden in one inmate's mattress.

During a contraband search, a prison guard found texting me hidden in one inmate's mattress.

During a contraband search, a prison guard found what’s inside hidden in one inmate's mattress.

During a contraband search, a prison guard found my birthday hidden under one inmate's mattress.

During a contraband search, a prison guard found Tony’s prison baby hidden under one inmate's mattress.

During a contraband search, a prison guard found a hole hidden under one inmate's mattress.

During a contraband search, a prison guard found Evander Holyfield’s ear hidden under one inmate's mattress.

During a contraband search, a prison guard found my toucan, going crazy hidden under one inmate's mattress.

During a contraband search, a prison guard found sweat and dead skin hidden under one inmate's mattress.