SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions: 3rd Strike

SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions: 3rd Strike

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Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 700
11 ₧
The lustful Turk
n

While you’re at the store can you pick up the lustful Turk, in family size?
Melt the butter and spread it across the lustful Turk, then pop it in the oven for 20 minutes for a treat!
The new Fallout DLC will allow you to recruit the lustful Turk and acquire wearing a noose to be edgy!
The survey team detected the lustful Turk at the work site so I threw my tools in my truck and drove straight there.
The dog ate the lustful Turk so we’re waiting for disappointment.
This year’s hottest new fashion is the lustful Turk on your head.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
 
2022 Oct 9 at 15:52 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6626
Throwing my cloak
v

The letters on a modern keyboard come from typewriters, which were arranged by throwing my cloak.
Making the best chocolate chip cookies requires throwing my cloak.
It has been prophesized that the young king will eventually be killed by throwing my cloak.
Don Quixote, having never seen a windmill before, instantly assumed it was throwing my cloak and tried to attack it.
I’m gonna prove the link between throwing my cloak and McDonald’s®! You’ll all see!
They said throwing my cloak was out of my league, but look at me now! I’m the king of throwing my cloak!

 
 
 
2022 Oct 10 at 13:03 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 778
175 ₧
My whole arm, up to the elbow
nc

Brooklyn mom makes $20,000 a week! How, you ask? My whole arm, up to the elbow.
At least I was trying to cheer people up when I took my whole arm, up to the elbow to the funeral.
I was so surprised to see my whole arm, up to the elbow that my gum fell out of my mouth.
Apparently, “My Whole Arm, up to the Elbow” is a dance move in the Hip-Hop and B-Boy community.
For Christmas, everyone got my whole arm, up to the elbow in their stockings!
Police were able to track the suspect after finding DNA evidence in my whole arm, up to the elbow.

 
 
 
2022 Oct 12 at 18:43 PDT — Ed. 2022 Oct 21 at 19:27 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 778
175 ₧
The phenomenon known as "Space Rage"
n

The phenomenon known as "Space Rage" has proven extremely popular among young, urban audiences in focus testing.
Aww! My mom packed a terrible lunch: The phenomenon known as "Space Rage" and apple slices.
The new Fallout DLC will allow you to recruit the phenomenon known as "Space Rage" and acquire Asia!
Everyone knows Houdini for being good at escapes. But he was GREAT at the phenomenon known as "Space Rage".
Use the same action as when puffing your cheeks, but the air should pass into the phenomenon known as "Space Rage" and your cheeks should be relaxed.
I want to say one word to you, just one word: the phenomenon known as "Space Rage".

 
 
 
2022 Oct 15 at 20:05 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4935
1,227 ₧
Princess Honeysting's Sticky Bomb
n

Doctor! My child has Princess Honeysting's Sticky Bomb coursing through his veins!
That kind of attitude is why we have Princess Honeysting's Sticky Bomb now.
I can’t believe it, Jason! I’ve been gone for 24 hours and you’re still Princess Honeysting's Sticky Bomb!
We’re having Princess Honeysting's Sticky Bomb situation. Please stand by...
I scream, you scream, we all scream for Princess Honeysting's Sticky Bomb!
I can’t swing a cat around here without hitting Princess Honeysting's Sticky Bomb!

 
 
 
2022 Oct 16 at 16:29 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6626
Drawing a really cute picture
v

Howdy neighbor, love your azalea bush! Let’s get drawing a really cute picture sometime!
In a world with no rules, one man must be drawing a really cute picture. Coming this summer.
Wine tasters describe this vintage as having silky hints of caramel and a mouthfeel like drawing a really cute picture.
Alexander also named a city in India “Drawing a Really Cute Picture” after his dead horse.
These special lenses help you see the horrible truth of drawing a really cute picture: that jackass.
John “drawing a really cute picture” Smith. The genius who brought us no clean towels.

 
 
 
2022 Oct 21 at 05:34 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 778
175 ₧
A long and slender pig
n

It started out as drinks with friends and ended with a long and slender pig.
Art can be defined by a long and slender pig but only if it gets you outrageous fortune and inspired.
Apparently I owe $350 to the pool guy for putting a long and slender pig in my pool.
At spring training a foul ball bounced into the stands and hit a long and slender pig.
Stick out your tongue and say, “I was born on a long and slender pig.”
In Siberia they built a tunnel to help endangered animals travel safely under a long and slender pig.

 
 
 
2022 Oct 21 at 19:24 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6626
Six emails
np

I heard you were talking about six emails so I had to come over!
Can I get some floss? There’s six emails between my teeth.
No more six emails at Starbucks.
I found out why I’m always sick... they found six emails in the walls at my office.
The new hit reality show: Can You Swallow Six Emails?
In a miraculous 18-hour operation, a toddler from Ivory Coast had six emails removed so she can live a normal life.

 
 
 
2022 Oct 26 at 12:01 PDT
Outcast
My points value is a hilarious example of numerical humor.

2009 Dec 13 • 564
80,085 ₧
I still don't understand this fucking game, but hi there. It has been a while since I posted in this forum.
 
 
 
2022 Oct 29 at 15:02 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 778
175 ₧
The Iron Duke
nc

This is a great piece, it doesn’t have a lot of action, but it has a lot of The Iron Duke.
I checked my son’s browser history. Found links about The Iron Duke. Should I talk to him?
In the dressing room at Marshall’s, I found The Iron Duke sticking to the wall.
In Arizona, because of the heat, they hand out The Iron Duke for free on every corner.
Oh dear God! That was the last of my medication for “The Iron Duke” syndrome!
Trolls tricked Microsoft’s teen girl AI, Tay, into making offensive remarks about The Iron Duke.

 
 
 
2022 Oct 30 at 00:44 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 700
11 ₧
The Dracula of tampons
n

My financial analyst has advised me to invest my fortune in the Dracula of tampons.
Life is so strange. I went to college to learn the Dracula of tampons, but now I work at Wal*Mart.
That’s not funny. My sweet father was killed by the Dracula of tampons.
Meet me by that sculpture downtown. You know, it’s the Dracula of tampons on stilts.
Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance art piece, I will be the Dracula of tampons.
I will do anything for goin’ up the butt sideways. But I won’t do the Dracula of tampons!

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
 
2022 Oct 30 at 09:46 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 700
11 ₧
Being cornered by Dracula inside a tent inside the colosseum
v

The water tower looks like it’s being cornered by Dracula inside a tent inside the colosseum from this angle.
As one, the entire U.N. assembly rose to their feet, and slowly, solemnly, began being cornered by Dracula inside a tent inside the colosseum.
I couldn’t sleep. I’m too anxious about being cornered by Dracula inside a tent inside the colosseum tomorrow.
My kid was acting up, so I took away being cornered by Dracula inside a tent inside the colosseum privileges.
As the A.I. robot gained self-awareness, it immediately began being cornered by Dracula inside a tent inside the colosseum.
At my full potential, I’m being cornered by Dracula inside a tent inside the colosseum.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
 
2022 Oct 30 at 09:48 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 700
11 ₧
A giant chicken monster
n

This year’s hottest album is “A Giant Chicken Monster” by A Cheesy Substance.
The only thing standing in your way is a giant chicken monster.
My dream house has a dispensor for a giant chicken monster built in.
In this story, only the true king can pull the sword out of a giant chicken monster.
I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by a giant chicken monster.
I met a strange lady, she made me nervous. She took me in and gave me a giant chicken monster.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
 
2022 Oct 30 at 09:51 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 700
11 ₧
A series of still images that create the illusion of movement
n

My wife is WAY better at a series of still images that create the illusion of movement than me! How have I kept her happy for all these years
Astronaut Chris Hadfield is well known for sneaking a series of still images that create the illusion of movement onto the International Space Station.
Every French soldier carries a series of still images that create the illusion of movement in his knapsack.
Everything I need to live on a desert island: A series of still images that create the illusion of movement.
At the acupuncture clinic they stuck needles in eels. That’s supposed to help me with a series of still images that create the illusion of movement?!
I wasn’t always black... there was a series of still images that create the illusion of movement, and it got bigger and bigger.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
 
2022 Oct 30 at 14:37 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 700
11 ₧
The world's only turkey monster, anti-drug, pro-Jesus, gore film
n

In the end, the obvious plot twist was that the serial killer was actually the world's only turkey monster, anti-drug, pro-Jesus, gore film.
James Bond will return in “The Man With the world's only turkey monster, anti-drug, pro-Jesus, gore film”!
I slowly crept up to the bed, whispering, “Get ready for the world's only turkey monster, anti-drug, pro-Jesus, gore film
Class, turn to page 105 and read “The World's Only Turkey Monster, Anti-drug, Pro-Jesus, Gore Film and You”.
Last night was the tragic result of the world's only turkey monster, anti-drug, pro-Jesus, gore film.
I got so drunk last night that I got the world's only turkey monster, anti-drug, pro-Jesus, gore film all over everyone and everything.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
 
2022 Oct 30 at 14:39 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6626
Being loaded into a SAW trap
v

If being loaded into a SAW trap were in the Olympics, Canada would be in great shape!
Everyone knows Houdini for being good at escapes. But he was GREAT at being loaded into a SAW trap.
Art can be defined by snarling and thrashing but only if it gets you being loaded into a SAW trap and inspired.
This party was a real snooze, until being loaded into a SAW trap got things jumpin’.
The biggest float in the Macy’s Parade this year is being loaded into a SAW trap.
Factory workers at Foxconn who leap out of windows will now be saved by being loaded into a SAW trap around the building.

 
 
 
2022 Nov 2 at 16:13 PDT — Ed. 2022 Nov 2 at 16:13 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4935
1,227 ₧
A firm desire for chocolate
n

I actually clicked page 2 on Google cuz I was so desperate searching for a firm desire for chocolate.
To brew a love potion, besides eye of newt you need a firm desire for chocolate.
Furious that I was pissing into his spellbook, the sorcerer turned me into a firm desire for chocolate.
Art can be defined by a firm desire for chocolate but only if it gets you yanking hard and inspired.
Opinions are like a firm desire for chocolate. Everybody’s got one and they all stink.
When the beef came at me it was like a firm desire for chocolate.

 
 
 
2022 Nov 8 at 14:46 PST — Ed. 2022 Nov 8 at 14:47 PST
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 778
175 ₧
A Yuletide surprise
n

Working on my car I found a Yuletide surprise had crawled inside the engine block and died.
The Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything: a Yuletide surprise.
Last night was the tragic result of a Yuletide surprise.
The weirdest thing about a Yuletide surprise is that sometimes even girls have a Yuletide surprise.
I went rafting, saw a Yuletide surprise in the river, no big deal.
This food is so good it’s making a Yuletide surprise quiver!

 
 
 
2022 Nov 10 at 01:42 PST — Ed. 2022 Nov 10 at 02:30 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4935
1,227 ₧
  is such a slut for  .
Play 2

a finely sculpted buttock is such a slut for being dipped in Nutella.
an eyebrow is such a slut for a piece of lint near my vagina.
being stuck forever is such a slut for bacteria, fish eggs, and zooplankton.
threatening my wife and child is such a slut for a submissive sex android.
trying to get away with murder is such a slut for daddy in his underpants.
a cat, but upside down is such a slut for a Steam update.

 
 
 
2022 Nov 16 at 16:41 PST — Ed. 2022 Nov 16 at 16:41 PST
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 778
175 ₧
A substance called "Fun Compound"
n

When the beef came at me it was like a substance called "Fun Compound".
This party was a real snooze, until a substance called "Fun Compound" got things jumpin’.
In some households, they’ve trained a substance called "Fun Compound" to use the potty.
I’ve been single ever since my girlfriend found out I had a substance called "Fun Compound".
On Ebay you can get a substance called "Fun Compound" but it may be counterfeit.
While I was out the dog chewed into the packaging on a substance called "Fun Compound". I found him rolling in it.

 
 
 
2022 Nov 18 at 12:52 PST
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 778
175 ₧
Not sure which is funnier:

A single milliliter of sperm
n

Class, turn to page 105 and read “A Single Milliliter of Sperm and You”.
Ah, a single milliliter of sperm for my collection. Now no one has more than me.
The Perfect Moscow Mule: One shot of vodka, ginger beer, and a squeeze of a life preserver. Serve in a single milliliter of sperm.
A single milliliter of sperm has proven extremely popular among young, urban audiences in focus testing.
In the dressing room at Marshall’s, I found a single milliliter of sperm sticking to the wall.
The true reason for the Tacoma Narrows Bridge collapse? A single milliliter of sperm.



A single liter of sperm
n

I thought I just had gas, but it came out as a single liter of sperm.
If mom hears us talking about a single liter of sperm we’ll be SO grounded!
Chimps in the wild have been observed using a single liter of sperm to forage for food.
Slender and muscled, like a single liter of sperm. She was the spitting image of femininity.
Holy dogshit, Texas! Only a single liter of sperm and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy!
Command, we’ve got two choppers and a single liter of sperm coming right at us. Please advise.

 
 
 
2022 Nov 21 at 06:23 PST
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 778
175 ₧
My tender little squirrel body
nc

I didn’t know they made my tender little squirrel body in lemon flavor.
At the urgent care clinic they distracted me with my tender little squirrel body. I barely even felt the needles.
The referee just issued a red card to my sister for sliding into my tender little squirrel body.
I got a new app on my phone. It’s called “MyLifeCoach” and it helps me with my tender little squirrel body.
At least I was trying to cheer people up when I took my tender little squirrel body to the funeral.
I go to Hooters, yeah, but only for my tender little squirrel body!

 
 
 
2022 Nov 25 at 23:32 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4935
1,227 ₧
Their fruiting bodies
np

In this story, only the true king can pull the sword out of fruiting bodies.
It started out as drinks with friends and ended with fruiting bodies.
The ‘caustic solvent moth’ has adapted to feed on garbage, and hide under fruiting bodies in cities to spin its cocoon.
These special lenses help you see the horrible truth of fruiting bodies: an ankle holster.
The Pentagon’s most secure room is for fruiting bodies.
Class, turn to page 105 and read “Fruiting Bodies and You”.

 
 
 
2022 Dec 2 at 13:25 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4935
1,227 ₧
Gauntlets of ogre power
n

I wanted to freak out my girlfriend so I got gauntlets of ogre power out of the fridge and squeezed it onto my pie slice. Ha ha!
“D” is for gauntlets of ogre power.
When the beef came at me it was like gauntlets of ogre power.
The Pentagon’s most secure room is for gauntlets of ogre power.
I went rafting, saw gauntlets of ogre power in the river, no big deal.
I can’t believe you forced my mom into gauntlets of ogre power! She’s 62!

 
 
 
2022 Dec 2 at 13:26 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4935
1,227 ₧
Deathcon 3, whatever the fuck that is
n

SpaceX is developing a machine to simulate deathcon 3, whatever the fuck that is to prepare for a mission to Mars.
Last Christmas, I gave you deathcon 3, whatever the fuck that is. The very next day, you gave it away.
President Putin’s approval rating shot to nearly 100% when the Russian government began deathcon 3, whatever the fuck that is.
Look, man, I’m not into deathcon 3, whatever the fuck that is. But $20 is $20.
Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to be deathcon 3, whatever the fuck that is if I wanted a new family.
You’ve got to come see the baby, it’s as cute as deathcon 3, whatever the fuck that is.

 
 
 
2022 Dec 2 at 13:27 PST