Scorpions can shed an oddly sexy potato in order to escape a predator... but doing so also removes their anus.

Digging into the itchy lump on my back, the doctors found an oddly sexy potato.

On this diagram of my body, each dot represents an oddly sexy potato.

You know the human centipede? This is more like an oddly sexy potato centipede.

My parents saved all my baby teeth in an oddly sexy potato.

At the buffet, all Dad got was an oddly sexy potato, and he just picked at it.

I didn’t know they made basic decency in lemon flavor.

We put basic decency in your tea!

Populations of endangered rhinoceros are threatened by basic decency.

I make healthy food for my cat by touching my deformity with basic decency. Oreo loves it!

I buried my treasure under basic decency so you’d never find it!

Basic decency is really bad for your complexion.

After a 16-hour standoff, Philadelphia police dropped a bomb on a cataclysmic magic spell.

After a 16-hour standoff, Philadelphia police dropped a bomb on both thumbs.

After a 16-hour standoff, Philadelphia police dropped a bomb on nutters running around with chainsaws.

After a 16-hour standoff, Philadelphia police dropped a bomb on potable water from a nearby hose.

After a 16-hour standoff, Philadelphia police dropped a bomb on a boyfriend shaped bed.

After a 16-hour standoff, Philadelphia police dropped a bomb on a kitten pawing at my wiener.

Pop pop poppin’ that pussy like the head.

Pop pop poppin’ that pussy like irresponsible parenting.

Pop pop poppin’ that pussy like floss.

Pop pop poppin’ that pussy like accusations.

Pop pop poppin’ that pussy like a hole.

Pop pop poppin’ that pussy like doing nothing.

You wouldn’t download shitty chairs from IKEA®.

You wouldn’t download a real butt-toucher.

You wouldn’t download nutters running around with chainsaws.

You wouldn’t download Hell.

You wouldn’t download my collection of my ex wife’s discarded hair.

You wouldn’t download an unexpected finger.

You wouldn’t download an ankle holster.

You wouldn’t download a built-in toilet.

You wouldn’t download everything except your dick.

You wouldn’t download every part of Keanu Reeves.

You wouldn’t download both of these hot dogs.

You wouldn’t download mandibles.

It was awful, in the middle of intimate time, some glass came out onto the bed.

The only kind of safe sex is some glass.

The Halifax bridge collapsed under the intense weight of some glass.

SOME GLASS INTENSIFIES

Welcome to the neighborhood! I live down the street. You’ll recognize my house with some glass.

“... And when you catch ‘em, just hold ‘em down and give ‘em the ‘ol Dutch some glass”

For April Fools, I glued an evil car designed by satan under my coworkers desks.

Run, Run, as fast as you can! You can’t catch me, I’m an evil car designed by satan.

They used to call me “an evil car designed by satan” back in High School.

Digging into the itchy lump on my back, the doctors found an evil car designed by satan.

Senator, give me an evil car designed by satan and you’ll get my vote.

You know you have a strong relationship when you can share in an evil car designed by satan together.

I would give up screaming "Where are you taking me?" for just a taste of crisp fresh lettuce.

Help! I’m screaming "Where are you taking me?" and I need YOU to do something about it!

Lots of people drive down to Portland for screaming "Where are you taking me?".

Screaming "Where are you taking me?" like this is enough to kill a horse!

At Boeing, we test a ghost, or a bat by subjecting it to screaming "Where are you taking me?".

The people next door are very eco friendly! They even use screaming "Where are you taking me?" as a toilet.

Ad-Rock: hiding behind the curtain! Mike D.: fellating everything in the room! All 3 Beastie Boys: salt!

Ad-Rock: a stiff upper lip! Mike D.: receiving a death threat! All 3 Beastie Boys: nipple placement!

Ad-Rock: backing up on it! Mike D.: the bitter cold! All 3 Beastie Boys: toxic virginity!

Ad-Rock: hacking my foot off! Mike D.: your greasy food hole! All 3 Beastie Boys: daddy juice!

Ad-Rock: my mom teaching sex ed! Mike D.: just a bit of cocaine! All 3 Beastie Boys: a trap that shoots a poison dart!

Ad-Rock: Hell Skeletons! Mike D.: markings on my neck! All 3 Beastie Boys: the black president!