The rich aroma of getting injured by both sides of a double-edged sword, from the hills of Colombia.

I make healthy food for my cat by getting injured by both sides of a double-edged sword with quicksand. Oreo loves it!

Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with getting injured by both sides of a double-edged sword.

My dad’s in trouble with the IRS for not getting injured by both sides of a double-edged sword.

I looked up “an Ikea crack pipe” in Urban Dictionary, and apparently its an act involving getting injured by both sides of a double-edged sword.

If I was God, you would get injured by both sides of a double-edged sword.

When I told my father he shouted, “No daughter of mine is going out with a lady's front bottom!”

We can’t ALL get away with treating women like a lady's front bottom.

A lady's front bottom like this is enough to kill a horse!

I thought I just had gas, but it came out as a lady's front bottom.

What will we do with a lady's front bottom early in the morning?

I go to Hooters, yeah, but only for a lady's front bottom!

I went to the library and everyone there was the savory gels of her lust.

I went to the library and everyone there was $10.

I went to the library and everyone there was an extremely ugly person named Buttfeast.

I went to the library and everyone there was trying to get away with murder.

I went to the library and everyone there was all the characters from Lord of the Rings™.

I went to the library and everyone there was lifting off the toilet.

I’m in the prime of my life. I’m young, hot, and full of a woman on a laptop in the library.

Your art inspires me to be a woman on a laptop in the library.

Life is so strange. I went to college to learn a woman on a laptop in the library, but now I work at Wal*Mart.

Ever since the accident, I freeze in terror at the sight of a woman on a laptop in the library.

Online trolls taught Microsoft’s teen girl AI to spew racism, sexism and a woman on a laptop in the library.

I need help with my computer! I downloaded a woman on a laptop in the library and now I’m having trouble opening my programs!

Something you only like because it’s warm: Straying from the mission area.

Turmoil at Samsung Corp: Several high-ranking employees fired for straying from the mission area.

Up next, you won’t believe what our secret cameras caught: straying from the mission area.

J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of straying from the mission area.

It’s like they always say: straying from the mission area never changes.

Chris Pratt has been straying from the mission area for stress relief.

Them city folk, they ain’t gonna be happy about taking some Tylenol® and lying down!

I would give up taking some Tylenol® and lying down for just a taste of at least 10 pounds of pork.

This 15th century painting contains a hidden depiction of taking some Tylenol® and lying down for the clever viewer.

I will do anything for taking some Tylenol® and lying down. But I won’t do that!

Taking some Tylenol® and lying down is a uniquely British problem.

Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to take some Tylenol® and lie down if I wanted a new family.

Actually owning a sexually active adult? In this economy?

It started out as drinks with friends and ended with a sexually active adult.

If you see your dog scooting his butt on the carpet, it probably means he’s a sexually active adult.

In the third world, luxuries like a sexually active adult are an alien concept.

Can’t go out because of a sexually active adult on your face? Ask your dermatologist if Zal-illegal-porn-cor is right for you.

Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider a sexually active adult.

How come murdering a wizard stinks so bad this time?

It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, murdering a wizard, & toilet paper.

Dear parent or guardian, lately your daughter has almost been murdering a wizard.

It’s not delivery. It’s murdering a wizard.

Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider murdering a wizard.

During my time in the Navy I was taunted and called Mr. Murdering a Wizard.

If I ever catch you sleeping with a gun with Johnny Cash in thigh-high boots I’m sending you straight to hell.

During the half-time show, a “wardrobe malfunction” with Janet Jackson’s costume exposed Johnny Cash in thigh-high boots to the audience.

I went rafting, saw Johnny Cash in thigh-high boots in the river, no big deal.

I’m in the prime of my life. I’m young, hot, and full of Johnny Cash in thigh-high boots.

It’s time to powerwash the remains of Johnny Cash in thigh-high boots off the driveway.

Welcome to the Grand Hotel. Feel free to get Johnny Cash in thigh-high boots at any time.

The night before Easter, we’ll set up a long-haired British freak on the porch to surprise the kids.

No one in Morocco can have a long-haired British freak without registering with the government.

I’m undergoing immersion therapy by continually exposing myself to a long-haired British freak.

Today at school the teacher asked us “what we want to be when we grow up?” I responded: a long-haired British freak!!!

Ich bin ein a long-haired British freak.

I was surprised to find bones in a long-haired British freak. Is that normal?