It was awful, in the middle of intimate time, some glass came out onto the bed.

The only kind of safe sex is some glass.

The Halifax bridge collapsed under the intense weight of some glass.

SOME GLASS INTENSIFIES

Welcome to the neighborhood! I live down the street. You’ll recognize my house with some glass.

“... And when you catch ‘em, just hold ‘em down and give ‘em the ‘ol Dutch some glass”

For April Fools, I glued an evil car designed by satan under my coworkers desks.

Run, Run, as fast as you can! You can’t catch me, I’m an evil car designed by satan.

They used to call me “an evil car designed by satan” back in High School.

Digging into the itchy lump on my back, the doctors found an evil car designed by satan.

Senator, give me an evil car designed by satan and you’ll get my vote.

You know you have a strong relationship when you can share in an evil car designed by satan together.

I would give up screaming "Where are you taking me?" for just a taste of crisp fresh lettuce.

Help! I’m screaming "Where are you taking me?" and I need YOU to do something about it!

Lots of people drive down to Portland for screaming "Where are you taking me?".

Screaming "Where are you taking me?" like this is enough to kill a horse!

At Boeing, we test a ghost, or a bat by subjecting it to screaming "Where are you taking me?".

The people next door are very eco friendly! They even use screaming "Where are you taking me?" as a toilet.

Ad-Rock: hiding behind the curtain! Mike D.: fellating everything in the room! All 3 Beastie Boys: salt!

Ad-Rock: a stiff upper lip! Mike D.: receiving a death threat! All 3 Beastie Boys: nipple placement!

Ad-Rock: backing up on it! Mike D.: the bitter cold! All 3 Beastie Boys: toxic virginity!

Ad-Rock: hacking my foot off! Mike D.: your greasy food hole! All 3 Beastie Boys: daddy juice!

Ad-Rock: my mom teaching sex ed! Mike D.: just a bit of cocaine! All 3 Beastie Boys: a trap that shoots a poison dart!

Ad-Rock: Hell Skeletons! Mike D.: markings on my neck! All 3 Beastie Boys: the black president!

My mom says you have to call it “the same” or you get in trouble!

My teacher graded my paper F because I wrote about the same.

If we work together, we can finish the same.

My “friends” came over and put the same in the toilet.

Daddy, what’s the same? The kids at school say it about you and laugh.

Some anarchist made the sign over the expressway say “THE STATE IS THE SAME.”

My mom says you have to call it “Pikachu, COVERED in spiders” or you get in trouble!

Let’s wait for Mom to fall asleep, then we can sneak out and get Pikachu, COVERED in spiders.

I Googled for Pikachu, COVERED in spiders and found a picture of myself.

Crews are working hard after Bertha, the tunnel-boring machine ran into Pikachu, COVERED in spiders and stopped.

For Farm Day at my school we had a haystack to search through and find Pikachu, COVERED in spiders.

I spun 3 no minors in a row on the slot machine and won Pikachu, COVERED in spiders!

Hiding from the Pope under the Medici Chapel, Michelangelo spent his time being extremely Japanese.

If I have to be honest, I’ve often fantasized about being extremely Japanese.

I can’t believe you forced my mom into being extremely Japanese! She’s 62!

A lifetime of being extremely Japanese awaits. Call now for a free consultation.

In the iconic opening to Back to the Future, Marty McFly was being extremely Japanese after hooking up his electric guitar.

My usual at Starbucks is a Grande Caramel Being-extremely-Japanese-iatto with whip and sprinkles.

It was awful, in the middle of intimate time, a mystery-solving bird came out onto the bed.

My car looks like it’s a mystery-solving bird but I don’t mind. It gets me from point A to point B.

The hottest new cryptocurrency is “A-mystery-solving-bird-coin”

I want to be buried with a mystery-solving bird.

Could you buy me a mystery-solving bird? I’ll pay you back.

The Luba of Central Africa are the only known culture with a specific word for a mystery-solving bird.

That kind of attitude is why we have a related attack now.

Scorpions can shed a related attack in order to escape a predator... but doing so also removes their anus.

At the carnival I went on the thing where you ride a related attack.

I’ve made a mistake and a related attack isn’t going to be the same. Sorry.

Josh said, on the way in to work today, he swerved around a related attack on the freeway.

After the war, the British government had Alan Turing chemically castrated because he was a related attack.

The rich aroma of getting injured by both sides of a double-edged sword, from the hills of Colombia.

I make healthy food for my cat by getting injured by both sides of a double-edged sword with quicksand. Oreo loves it!

Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with getting injured by both sides of a double-edged sword.

My dad’s in trouble with the IRS for not getting injured by both sides of a double-edged sword.

I looked up “an Ikea crack pipe” in Urban Dictionary, and apparently its an act involving getting injured by both sides of a double-edged sword.

If I was God, you would get injured by both sides of a double-edged sword.