SuperJer

SuperJer

User name
SuperJer
Assigned title
Websiteman
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#333333
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Registration date
2005 March 21
Post count
6691
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0 ₧
Location
Seattle, WA, USA
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America/Los_Angeles
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Recent posts by SuperJer

Recent posts by SuperJer

Tuesday at 23:31 UTC
A mystery-solving bird
n

It was awful, in the middle of intimate time, a mystery-solving bird came out onto the bed.

My car looks like it’s a mystery-solving bird but I don’t mind. It gets me from point A to point B.

The hottest new cryptocurrency is “A-mystery-solving-bird-coin”

I want to be buried with a mystery-solving bird.

Could you buy me a mystery-solving bird? I’ll pay you back.

The Luba of Central Africa are the only known culture with a specific word for a mystery-solving bird.


A related attack
n

That kind of attitude is why we have a related attack now.

Scorpions can shed a related attack in order to escape a predator... but doing so also removes their anus.

At the carnival I went on the thing where you ride a related attack.

I’ve made a mistake and a related attack isn’t going to be the same. Sorry.

Josh said, on the way in to work today, he swerved around a related attack on the freeway.

After the war, the British government had Alan Turing chemically castrated because he was a related attack.


Getting injured by both sides of a double-edged sword
v

The rich aroma of getting injured by both sides of a double-edged sword, from the hills of Colombia.

I make healthy food for my cat by getting injured by both sides of a double-edged sword with quicksand. Oreo loves it!

Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with getting injured by both sides of a double-edged sword.

My dad’s in trouble with the IRS for not getting injured by both sides of a double-edged sword.

I looked up “an Ikea crack pipe” in Urban Dictionary, and apparently its an act involving getting injured by both sides of a double-edged sword.

If I was God, you would get injured by both sides of a double-edged sword.


Mar 20 at 00:45 UTC
A lady's front bottom
n

When I told my father he shouted, “No daughter of mine is going out with a lady's front bottom!”

We can’t ALL get away with treating women like a lady's front bottom.

A lady's front bottom like this is enough to kill a horse!

I thought I just had gas, but it came out as a lady's front bottom.

What will we do with a lady's front bottom early in the morning?

I go to Hooters, yeah, but only for a lady's front bottom!


Feb 12 at 17:12 UTC
I went to the library and everyone there was  .

I went to the library and everyone there was the savory gels of her lust.

I went to the library and everyone there was $10.

I went to the library and everyone there was an extremely ugly person named Buttfeast.

I went to the library and everyone there was trying to get away with murder.

I went to the library and everyone there was all the characters from Lord of the Rings™.

I went to the library and everyone there was lifting off the toilet.


Feb 11 at 02:00 UTC
A woman on a laptop in the library
n

I’m in the prime of my life. I’m young, hot, and full of a woman on a laptop in the library.

Your art inspires me to be a woman on a laptop in the library.

Life is so strange. I went to college to learn a woman on a laptop in the library, but now I work at Wal*Mart.

Ever since the accident, I freeze in terror at the sight of a woman on a laptop in the library.

Online trolls taught Microsoft’s teen girl AI to spew racism, sexism and a woman on a laptop in the library.

I need help with my computer! I downloaded a woman on a laptop in the library and now I’m having trouble opening my programs!


Feb 10 at 19:25 UTC
Straying from the mission area
v

Something you only like because it’s warm: Straying from the mission area.

Turmoil at Samsung Corp: Several high-ranking employees fired for straying from the mission area.

Up next, you won’t believe what our secret cameras caught: straying from the mission area.

J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of straying from the mission area.

It’s like they always say: straying from the mission area never changes.

Chris Pratt has been straying from the mission area for stress relief.


Taking some Tylenol® and lying down
v

Them city folk, they ain’t gonna be happy about taking some Tylenol® and lying down!

I would give up taking some Tylenol® and lying down for just a taste of at least 10 pounds of pork.

This 15th century painting contains a hidden depiction of taking some Tylenol® and lying down for the clever viewer.

I will do anything for taking some Tylenol® and lying down. But I won’t do that!

Taking some Tylenol® and lying down is a uniquely British problem.

Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to take some Tylenol® and lie down if I wanted a new family.


A sexually active adult
n

Actually owning a sexually active adult? In this economy?

It started out as drinks with friends and ended with a sexually active adult.

If you see your dog scooting his butt on the carpet, it probably means he’s a sexually active adult.

In the third world, luxuries like a sexually active adult are an alien concept.

Can’t go out because of a sexually active adult on your face? Ask your dermatologist if Zal-illegal-porn-cor is right for you.

Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider a sexually active adult.


Murdering a wizard
v

How come murdering a wizard stinks so bad this time?

It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, murdering a wizard, & toilet paper.

Dear parent or guardian, lately your daughter has almost been murdering a wizard.

It’s not delivery. It’s murdering a wizard.

Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider murdering a wizard.

During my time in the Navy I was taunted and called Mr. Murdering a Wizard.