Can you come get me? I agreed to go with some guys who promised me going off the grid and it’s getting weird.

In Nevada you can pay for a lady going off the grid.

But I promised I would get my kids going off the grid for Christmas!

If you go off the grid right, all that matters is you have a good time.

In a world with no rules, one man must go off the grid. Coming this summer.

Employee morale dropped when Friday Going Off the Grid was cut. But profits are up!

Happiness: A squirt of mustard, emoticons, and 8 minutes of Celine Dion being as dramatic as possible.

That’s not funny. My sweet father was killed by 8 minutes of Celine Dion being as dramatic as possible.

Dear diary, today I went into the city and saw 8 minutes of Celine Dion being as dramatic as possible for the first time!

The new hit Broadway show is 8 Minutes of Celine Dion Being as Dramatic as Possible: The Musical.

You evaded my “8 Minutes of Celine Dion Being as Dramatic as Possible” attack! Most impressive.

The best part of waking up is 8 minutes of Celine Dion being as dramatic as possible in your cup.

We’re already half way through smoking a cigarette and then continuing, so we might as well finish it off.

I’ll never know why my grandparents find smoking a cigarette and then continuing so relaxing.

Smoking-a-Cigarette-and-Then-Continuing-a-Roni: the San Francisco treat!

During sex, my girlfriend started smoking a cigarette and then continuing. But she finished and we got back at it.

Thanks for smoking a cigarette and then continuing last night. *wink* *wink*

The school’s on lockdown because someone left a quickie in the hall. And Mr. Ryan was smoking a cigarette and then continuing with it!

Always walk into an interview with confidence and Larry David's glasses, and you’ll get the job.

When the celestial spheres align, Larry David's glasses will descend from the heavens.

If you want your guests to feel at home, leave Larry David's glasses on the toilet.

Ariana Grande wore Larry David's glasses on tour and fans are going nuts.

Sweating, groaning and screaming in the streets. Larry David's glasses in the sheets.

These wounds were given to me by Larry David's glasses.

I Googled for repeatedly muttering "fuck yeah" and found a picture of myself.

I clean a padlocked gimp mask by putting it in the dishwasher. It usually doesn’t end up repeatedly muttering "fuck yeah".

Sky watchers are excited to gaze upon the Super Blood Moon, which is caused by repeatedly muttering "fuck yeah".

I love children because you can never tell if they are repeatedly muttering "fuck yeah" or sexting grandpa.

Move over, girls! Hasbro has created Repeatedly Muttering "fuck Yeah": Boy Edition.

I strongly believe that every scene of a movie should end with repeatedly muttering "fuck yeah".

These are my children: Hog Dander and An Eyebrow Jr.

These are my children: Vole Milk and Endangered Animals Jr.

These are my children: Crawling Under the Bed and Getting the Fuck Out of the Way Jr.

These are my children: Sizzling Assholes and Accepting Any Crap Without Opposing Thoughts Jr.

These are my children: A Powerful Skeleton, William Howard Taft and A Satisfying Public Execution Jr.

These are my children: A River and A Slut Who Will Do Anything Jr.

Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to be like, “So?” if I wanted a new family.

Charlie Rose has been fired after reportedly being like, “So?” dozens of times.

All the best love stories include being like, “So?”.

Leopards are smaller than most of the Panthera genus, but they are able to take large prey due to being like, “So?”.

I never shower without being like, “So?”.

I can’t believe you forced my mom into being like, “So?”! She’s 62!

Always hold on to a 4’ by 8’ sheet of plywood to remember me.

The only thing we could all agree on for a pizza topping: a 4’ by 8’ sheet of plywood.

It’s taking forever to scrape the remains of a 4’ by 8’ sheet of plywood off the grill.

I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then a 4’ by 8’ sheet of plywood really affected me.

I found a hidden room in grandpa’s house. It’s full of a 4’ by 8’ sheet of plywood.

Turmoil at Samsung Corp: Several high-ranking employees fired for a 4’ by 8’ sheet of plywood.

I 3d printed my lord in hell!

The shockwave from the mishap at the fireworks factory shattered windows and caused my lord in hell in the streets.

During the war, German scientists experimented to weaponize my lord in hell.

I talked to God and there will be my lord in hell in the apocalypse.

My girlfriend was getting shoes out of the closet. Lucky she didn’t look up, or she’d have seen my lord in hell.

During his midlife crisis, my dad really got into my lord in hell.