Ich bin ein being activated remotely by the Soviets.

Libertarians hold to one tenet alone: that being activated remotely by the Soviets should be allowed at any time, for any reason.

Being activated remotely by the Soviets is a uniquely British problem.

Happiness: Being activated remotely by the Soviets, too much denim, and a traffic cop.

It smells like Thai food in here... have you guys been being activated remotely by the Soviets?

It’s not delivery. It’s being activated remotely by the Soviets.

The government says chemtrails from planes are just condensation. But we know they’re talking to me while I'm pooping!

In the escape room we had to figure out your panties. We tried talking to me while I'm pooping and it worked!

At his last campaign rally, Bernie Sanders began talking to me while I'm pooping in front of his top supporters.

The only kind of safe sex is talking to me while I'm pooping.

Talking to me while I'm pooping is bad for your car’s engine.

Blue Whaling: the disturbing internet trend in which teens commit suicide by talking to me while I'm pooping.

Welcome to the neighborhood! I live down the street. You’ll recognize my house with getting hit with a frisbee.

The FBI is at the door. I think they’re here because of... you know... getting hit with a frisbee.

At the book signing, George R.R. Martin signed my copy of ‟A Song of Getting Hit With a Frisbee”! I shook his hand and it felt like getting hit with a frisbee.

Traditionally, vampires and other undead are repelled by getting hit with a frisbee.

Charlie Rose has been fired after reportedly getting hit with a frisbee dozens of times.

As the A.I. robot gained self-awareness, it immediately began getting hit with a frisbee.

That’s my son, who’s about as useful as my tax dollars.

Celebrities keep getting cancelled over my tax dollars. And you know what? They deserve it.

Go, go, Gadget My Tax Dollars!

I thought I was being attacked, so I defended myself with my tax dollars.

In this story, only the true king can pull Excalibur out of my tax dollars.

Ever since I got back from Mexico I’ve been really into my tax dollars.

The Perfect Moscow Mule: One shot of vodka, ginger beer, and a squeeze of most of a poodle. Serve in lubricant.

Woah, weird, is anyone else getting turned on by most of a poodle?

Peter Molyneux’s new game will use facial recognition to explore most of a poodle in a very realistic way.

Here at Walt Disney World Resort, we are committed to using most of a poodle wisely.

I’m starting a new religion based on most of a poodle.

These wounds were given to me by most of a poodle.