SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions: 3rd Strike

SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions: 3rd Strike

General — Page 1 2 3 ... 61 62 63 [64]
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6629
Smoking a cigarette and then continuing
vt

We’re already half way through smoking a cigarette and then continuing, so we might as well finish it off.

I’ll never know why my grandparents find smoking a cigarette and then continuing so relaxing.

Smoking-a-Cigarette-and-Then-Continuing-a-Roni: the San Francisco treat!

During sex, my girlfriend started smoking a cigarette and then continuing. But she finished and we got back at it.

Thanks for smoking a cigarette and then continuing last night. *wink* *wink*

The school’s on lockdown because someone left a quickie in the hall. And Mr. Ryan was smoking a cigarette and then continuing with it!


 
 
 
Mar 1 at 13:57 PST — Ed. Mar 1 at 13:59 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4940
1,227 ₧
 , rapidly filling with semen.

a weak little person, rapidly filling with semen.

moving and talking at the same time, rapidly filling with semen.

Gene Simmons’ tongue, rapidly filling with semen.

things that aren’t fruit, rapidly filling with semen.

correcting a woman, rapidly filling with semen.

kevlar underwear, rapidly filling with semen.


 
 
 
Mar 3 at 21:41 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6629
8 minutes of Celine Dion being as dramatic as possible
v

Happiness: A squirt of mustard, emoticons, and 8 minutes of Celine Dion being as dramatic as possible.

That’s not funny. My sweet father was killed by 8 minutes of Celine Dion being as dramatic as possible.

Dear diary, today I went into the city and saw 8 minutes of Celine Dion being as dramatic as possible for the first time!

The new hit Broadway show is 8 Minutes of Celine Dion Being as Dramatic as Possible: The Musical.

You evaded my “8 Minutes of Celine Dion Being as Dramatic as Possible” attack! Most impressive.

The best part of waking up is 8 minutes of Celine Dion being as dramatic as possible in your cup.


 
 
 
Mar 4 at 19:10 PST — Ed. Mar 4 at 19:10 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6629
Going off the grid
v

Can you come get me? I agreed to go with some guys who promised me going off the grid and it’s getting weird.

In Nevada you can pay for a lady going off the grid.

But I promised I would get my kids going off the grid for Christmas!

If you go off the grid right, all that matters is you have a good time.

In a world with no rules, one man must go off the grid. Coming this summer.

Employee morale dropped when Friday Going Off the Grid was cut. But profits are up!


 
 
 
Mar 6 at 10:13 PST
Signa
2013 Dec 28 • 188
Using Wikipedia for sexual instruction
v

What separates the winners from the losers is how a person reacts to Using Wikipedia for sexual instruction.

My garbage friends drew Using Wikipedia for sexual instruction on my face while I was passed out.

... And so my mom asked me, “If all your friends were Using Wikipedia for sexual instruction, would you be Using Wikipedia for sexual instruction as well?”

Lucy Liu has studied ancient rituals of Using Wikipedia for sexual instruction.

Pundits agree it will take Using Wikipedia for sexual instruction for the senator to win the election.

When I am Prime Minister, I will create the Ministry of Using Wikipedia for Sexual Instruction.


 
 
 
Mar 6 at 22:13 PST — Ed. Mar 8 at 19:05 PST
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 782
175 ₧
A dolphin playing the trombone with its blowhole
n

For Halloween we’re peeling grapes so they feel like eyeballs, and we prepared a dolphin playing the trombone with its blowhole so it feels like brains.

I looked up “being killed in the Spanish civil war” in Urban Dictionary, and apparently its an act involving a dolphin playing the trombone with its blowhole.

Men, like a dolphin playing the trombone with its blowhole, go farthest when they are rubbing my gland.

Here on the assembly line we heat a dolphin playing the trombone with its blowhole to a steaming, bright cherry red.

Let Martha host your next party, providing a dolphin playing the trombone with its blowhole like you’ve never experienced before.

My girlfriend was getting shoes out of the closet. Lucky she didn’t look up, or she’d have seen a dolphin playing the trombone with its blowhole.


 
 
 
Mar 8 at 20:40 PST — Ed. Mar 12 at 07:57 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4940
1,227 ₧
You got   pregnant?! How is that even possible?!

You got a crazed Eskimo pregnant?! How is that even possible?!

You got the big ol’ boys pregnant?! How is that even possible?!

You got very expensive gelato pregnant?! How is that even possible?!

You got a squirt of mustard pregnant?! How is that even possible?!

You got so many dudes pregnant?! How is that even possible?!

You got losing on purpose pregnant?! How is that even possible?!


 
 
 
Mar 20 at 10:14 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 703
11 ₧
Girls in the basement
np

I came with another leopard to school to show my friends, but stupid Billy Carter brought girls in the basement so nobody even noticed!

Pundits agree it will take girls in the basement for the senator to win the election.

My publisher demanded I remove girls in the basement from my manuscript because it’s “not decent.”

Girls in the basement? I got all dressed up for girls in the basement?

How can girls in the basement be this cute?

My father abandoned my mother and I because he was girls in the basement.


What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
 
Mar 24 at 08:13 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 782
175 ₧
The English pop band Frankie Goes to Hollywood
n

An FBI raid on Michael Eisner’s seaside villa turned up the English pop band Frankie Goes to Hollywood in every room.

Always hold on to the English pop band Frankie Goes to Hollywood to remember me.

It was awful, in the middle of intimate time, the English pop band Frankie Goes to Hollywood came out onto the bed.

This workplace has gone (0) days without the English pop band Frankie Goes to Hollywood.

A new study found that giving employees the English pop band Frankie Goes to Hollywood can motivate them more than a cash bonus.

Dad! I’m all done in the bathroom. I have the English pop band Frankie Goes to Hollywood left over if you’re still interested.


 
 
 
Mar 25 at 03:27 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4940
1,227 ₧
A special probe to detect gases
n

Thanks for a special probe to detect gases last night. *wink* *wink*

That’s a special probe to detect gases you’ve got there. It’d be a shame if someone were to start sinking into the mud.

Furious that I was pissing into his spellbook, the sorcerer turned me into a special probe to detect gases.

We put a special probe to detect gases in your tea!

Donald Trump’s first act as president was to outlaw a special probe to detect gases.

How did I survive a special probe to detect gases? I ate my way out.


 
 
 
Mar 27 at 09:20 PDT — Ed. Mar 27 at 09:21 PDT
Signa
2013 Dec 28 • 188
Jesus, T-posing
nc

Somehow, the cat pulled Jesus, T-posing in through the pet door.

If Jesus, T-posing were in the Olympics, I might actually watch.

Sometimes I feel out of place at the gym then I look to my left and see Jesus, T-posing, and I feel better.

For my project I’m making Jesus, T-posing. But I need to see if they have a pinch at the craft store.

Jesus, T-posing is always a contest when I’m involved.

You evaded my “Jesus, T-posing” attack! Most impressive.


 
 
 
Mar 31 at 16:28 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4940
1,227 ₧
2 You pay me twenty  {pv} to have sex with  {n}? ...shit, yeah I'm down.
Play 2

2 You pay me twenty high heels to have sex with an eyebrow? ...shit, yeah I'm down.

2 You pay me twenty doing a bad job at pooping to have sex with a cat treat? ...shit, yeah I'm down.

2 You pay me twenty too many cats to have sex with a cage built for an autistic student? ...shit, yeah I'm down.

2 You pay me twenty hookers in the trunk to have sex with what I’ve done? ...shit, yeah I'm down.

2 You pay me twenty starting a religion to have sex with fly honeys? ...shit, yeah I'm down.

2 You pay me twenty squirting ink and running away to have sex with a not-so-innocent girl? ...shit, yeah I'm down.


 
 
 
Apr 2 at 10:43 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4940
1,227 ₧
Literally just a penis
n

I got into my car and sat on literally just a penis. Slowly, a smile crept over my face.

At the skating rink there was literally just a penis and everyone fell down at once.

Back in my day, we only had literally just a penis for fun and we LIKED IT.

I clean literally just a penis by putting it in the dishwasher. It usually doesn’t end up breastfeeding a baby kitten.

I went to my step mom’s church and the priest blessed me with literally just a penis.

A ghost ship washed up in Japan with literally just a penis on board.


 
 
 
Tuesday at 11:58 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 782
175 ₧
Catchy music
nc

Apparently, according to my test result, I’m catchy music.

The new bill before congress would require catchy music in all K-through-12 classrooms.

They had to put a 2-hour limit on catchy music at the gym.

During his midlife crisis, my dad really got into catchy music.

Catchy music torture” may be cruel but it’s worth it to get info from a suspected terrorist.

I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by catchy music.




Energetic up-tempo music
nc

Sorry, we can’t serve alcohol since the passing of The Energetic Up-tempo Music Act.

Justin Trudeau’s campaign promise: a three room Japanese apartment in every room, and energetic up-tempo music on every corner.

It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, energetic up-tempo music, & toilet paper.

When energetic up-tempo music is ready, launching missiles will appear.

I saw two hobos fighting over energetic up-tempo music behind the library. One of them was rolling in.

The Capital One Venture card earns points when you buy energetic up-tempo music, and you get door hinges, nails and chopped up horseshoes as a sign up bonus.


 
 
 
Tuesday at 18:59 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 703
11 ₧
Slow roasting a dog's asshole
v

The four schools of ethics: relativism, universalism, utilitarianism, and slow roasting a dog's asshole.

The only kind of safe sex is slow roasting a dog's asshole.

The referee just issued a red card to my sister for sliding into slow roasting a dog's asshole.

I like slow roasting a dog's asshole like I like my coffee: getting slathered.

Slow roasting a dog's asshole? I got all dressed up for slow roasting a dog's asshole?

4,000 drones at the Olympics formed the shape of slow roasting a dog's asshole in the air.


What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
 
Tuesday at 20:54 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 703
11 ₧
Sautéed panda asshole
nc

In the escape room we had to figure out pregnancy. We tried sautéed panda asshole and it worked!

The people next door are very eco friendly! They even use sautéed panda asshole as a toilet.

Howdy neighbor, love what you’ve done with the garage! Let’s get sautéed panda asshole sometime!

In Arizona, because of the heat, they hand out sautéed panda asshole for free on every corner.

It’s taking forever to scrape the remains of sautéed panda asshole off the grill.

If Benjamin Franklin didn’t invent sautéed panda asshole, certainly others would have.


What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
 
Tuesday at 20:55 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 782
175 ₧
My hidden hidey-hole
nc

Help! I’m my hidden hidey-hole and I need YOU to do something about it!

My kids keep installing my hidden hidey-hole on the computer and I think it’s making it slow.

In a world with no rules, one man must be my hidden hidey-hole. Coming this summer.

Leopards are smaller than most of the Panthera genus, but they are able to take large prey due to my hidden hidey-hole.

“... And when you catch ‘em, just hold ‘em down and give ‘em the ‘ol Dutch my hidden hidey-hole

At the winery tour we saw how they put grapes and my hidden hidey-hole in the tank.


 
 
 
Wednesday at 19:39 PDT — Ed. 8 hours ago
Signa
2013 Dec 28 • 188
Sexually aggressive midgets
np

I want to be buried with Sexually aggressive midgets.

Don’t count Sexually aggressive midgets before they hatch.

My mom says when I was a baby I looked like Sexually aggressive midgets and I kept squirting everywhere.

My usual at Starbucks is a Grande Caramel Sexually-aggressive-midgets-iatto with whip and sprinkles.

According to Irish tradition, it’s lucky to touch Sexually aggressive midgets.

I’m glad you’re my new roomie, my last one was always Sexually aggressive midgets. Always.


 
 
 
Yesterday at 08:58 PDT