The city council wants to cut down on forcing a lion to cum after 8pm.

It's like they always say: forcing a lion to cum never changes.

Ever since the incident I’ve been haunted by forcing a lion to cum.

Squad, circle up. This season is not going our way. It’s time to talk forcing a lion to cum.

People in Taiwan are getting a 57-foot-diameter tunnel boring machine implanted in their bodies for forcing a lion to cum.

Sky watchers are excited to gaze upon the Super Blood Moon, which is caused by forcing a lion to cum.

Senator, give me getting just straight up bashed in the tits and you’ll get my vote.

Lucy Liu has studied ancient rituals of getting just straight up bashed in the tits.

When I went into the bathroom I swear I saw getting just straight up bashed in the tits in the mirror! I’m so scared!

It’s huge. It’s wet. It’s sprawled out in the parking lot. It’s getting just straight up bashed in the tits.

These wounds were given to me by getting just straight up bashed in the tits.

The new Ford F-750 with more torque than getting just straight up bashed in the tits.

When I saw teleporting spiders I was nervous, but when it started coming toward me, deserving to be killed, I freaked!

I found out why I’m always sick... they found teleporting spiders in the walls at my office.

I can’t believe it, Jason! I’ve been gone for 24 hours and you’re still teleporting spiders!

The new summer blockbuster for tweens features a girl with the power of teleporting spiders.

Oh no! Someone rolled up teleporting spiders in a duvet and threw it on the side of the road.

A new mother abandoned teleporting spiders in the airport bathroom.

During the half-time show, a “wardrobe malfunction” with Janet Jackson’s costume exposed a very painful pizza burp to the audience.

Aunt Shasta usually brings a very painful pizza burp to the picnic.

Come to find out a very painful pizza burp was making it weird in the shower while I was going straight to hell.

I think there’s a very painful pizza burp convention going on downtown.

More than 260 people were injured by festive firecracker blasts and a very painful pizza burp in the Philippines.

A new study found that giving employees a very painful pizza burp can motivate them more than a cash bonus.

Online trolls taught Microsoft’s teen girl AI to spew racism, sexism and the big jolly man who keeps people in a cage.

USGS seismologist Lucy Jones said the 5.1 quake has a 5% chance of being the big jolly man who keeps people in a cage.

Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to be the big jolly man who keeps people in a cage if I wanted a new family.

Ben and Jerry is going off the deep end with their new flavors: The Big Jolly Man Who Keeps People in a Cage flavor? The Corpses Along the Way flavor?!

It’s time to powerwash the remains of the big jolly man who keeps people in a cage off the driveway.

The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in the big jolly man who keeps people in a cage.

You know you have a strong relationship when you can share in convicted rapist Brock Turner together.

I like convicted rapist Brock Turner like I like my coffee: Patrick Swayze humping.

“You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember convicted rapist Brock Turner?”

Last Christmas, I gave you convicted rapist Brock Turner. The very next day, you gave it away.

Come on down to Golden Corral™ for convicted rapist Brock Turner.

I don’t give money to the homeless. Instead I provide convicted rapist Brock Turner directly.

Howdy neighbor, love your azalea bush! Let’s get several penis shaped holes in the ground sometime!

Today at school the teacher asked us “what we want to be when we grow up?” I responded: several penis shaped holes in the ground!!!

As an homage to humanity, NASA has broadcasted several penis shaped holes in the ground to the vastness of space.

These penguins lay eggs which must stay under several penis shaped holes in the ground to keep warm.

I’ve been single ever since my girlfriend found out I had several penis shaped holes in the ground.

My dream is to build several penis shaped holes in the ground for me and my wife.

Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with helping children pee.

Woah, weird, is anyone else getting turned on by helping children pee?

Your art inspires me to be helping children pee.

“Impossible,” said Pride. “Risky,” said Experience. “Give it a try,” whispered the Heart. That’s when I tried helping children pee.

Alien cover-ups, false flag operations, and military experiments with helping children pee! It’s all here in my manifesto!

I’ve been diagnosed with helping children pee.