My nightly ritual involves getting sucked off permanently just as I fall asleep.

A weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience getting sucked off permanently like I was really there.

I’ll never know why my grandparents find getting sucked off permanently so relaxing.

I may not be much to look at, but I fuck like getting sucked off permanently.

Doctor, you’re a genius! No one has ever thought to use getting sucked off permanently to treat depression!

I thought I was alone with the bitter cold but my mom walked in. We got to getting sucked off permanently and I felt better.

There’s always time for my quirky German friend Otto before breakfast.

Trapped again, MacGyver began his escape with only my quirky German friend Otto and chewing gum.

Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance piece, I will be my quirky German friend Otto.

Researchers have trained chimps to communicate by rewarding them with my quirky German friend Otto.

I have an idea! 20 dollars, but for kids! And they all get my quirky German friend Otto!

Salesman: *slaps top of my quirky German friend Otto* This bad boy can fit turbo diarrhea in it.

I Googled for odorless clear seepage and found a picture of myself.

The biggest float in the Macy’s Parade this year is odorless clear seepage.

I found out why I’m always sick... they found odorless clear seepage in the walls at my office.

In the dressing room at Marshall’s, I found odorless clear seepage sticking to the wall.

Scorpions can shed odorless clear seepage in order to escape a predator... but doing so also removes their anus.

While you’re at the store can you pick up odorless clear seepage, in family size?

Turmoil at Samsung Corp: Several high-ranking employees fired for colored folk.

Colored folk is always a contest when I’m involved.

J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of colored folk.

I’ve been diagnosed with Colored Folk’s Syndrome. It makes my body always try to be a bullet hole.

In Disneyland’s Toon Town, a brutal fight broke out among guests involving colored folk.

SWF looking for a real man. If you’re colored folk, get to the front of the line.

The ritual complete, some kind of magic juice emerged from the circle of fire and demanded the key to my heart or our souls in payment.

The ritual complete, beautiful girl hair emerged from the circle of fire and demanded the bitter cold or our souls in payment.

The ritual complete, less candy than usual emerged from the circle of fire and demanded the stillness of death or our souls in payment.

The ritual complete, the winning lottery numbers emerged from the circle of fire and demanded being dipped in chocolate or our souls in payment.

The ritual complete, weird legs emerged from the circle of fire and demanded the Dutch oven or our souls in payment.

The ritual complete, a real bad bitch emerged from the circle of fire and demanded my murder list or our souls in payment.

I’m glad you’re my new roomie, my last one was always Goofy & Mickey fuckin' like beasts. Always.

As an homage to humanity, NASA has broadcasted Goofy & Mickey fuckin' like beasts to the vastness of space.

I’ve been diagnosed with Goofy & Mickey fuckin' like beasts.

Don’t you hate when you see Goofy & Mickey fuckin' like beasts in the carpool lane?

My kid was acting up, so I took away Goofy & Mickey fuckin' like beasts privileges.

Dear diary, today I went into the city and saw Goofy & Mickey fuckin' like beasts for the first time!

Well butter the stank that you had put on it and call me hair and scalp!

Lots of people drive down to Portland for the stank that you had put on it.

When the research team activated the interdimensional portal, the stank that you had put on it emerged.

Welcome to the neighborhood! I live down the street. You’ll recognize my house with the stank that you had put on it.

The stank that you had put on it from the Ohio county fair to be destroyed due to infection.

The new self-help fad: Better Living Through the Stank That You Had Put On It!

I’m fine with Nic Cage relentlessly killing. But why do they have to be so in-your-face about it?

I will do anything for Nic Cage relentlessly killing. But I won’t do that!

The new summer blockbuster for tweens features a girl with the power of Nic Cage relentlessly killing.

In this story, only the true king can pull the sword out of Nic Cage relentlessly killing.

In scouts we built a huge catapult to launch Nic Cage relentlessly killing at the girls camp.

Somehow, the cat pulled Nic Cage relentlessly killing in through the pet door.

The city put in new road signs to indicate a verified unhaunted clown head just up ahead.

I saw two hobos fighting over a verified unhaunted clown head behind the library. One of them was between your legs.

Crap! I’ve gone and clogged the vacuum hose with a verified unhaunted clown head.

That kind of attitude is why we have a verified unhaunted clown head now.

Trapped again, MacGyver began his escape with only a verified unhaunted clown head and chewing gum.

Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to be a verified unhaunted clown head if I wanted a new family.

I take pride in CONTINUOUS BUBBLE PLAY FOR ONE HOUR.

Honey! Come downstairs! CONTINUOUS BUBBLE PLAY FOR ONE HOUR is ready!

Something you only like because it’s warm: CONTINUOUS BUBBLE PLAY FOR ONE HOUR.

Apparently, according to my test result, I’m CONTINUOUS BUBBLE PLAY FOR ONE HOUR.

Traffic has only gotten worse since the transportation department deployed CONTINUOUS BUBBLE PLAY FOR ONE HOUR up and down the highway.

My sisters were having a pillow fight. They didn’t know I had put CONTINUOUS BUBBLE PLAY FOR ONE HOUR in the pillows.