The hardware store didn’t have my secret little cubby I hide things in left, so I got duct tape and plastic.

The HOA says I can’t have my secret little cubby I hide things in on my own damn property.

I had visions of my secret little cubby I hide things in while in the sensory deprivation tank.

I thought I was being attacked, so I defended myself with my secret little cubby I hide things in.

My secret little cubby I hide things in saved is my secret little cubby I hide things in earned.

Chase bank is giving out my secret little cubby I hide things in this week if you open an account and put $100 in it.

Happiness: A greased slope, a craaazy party with lots of hot babes, and my other kidney.

There’s always time for a craaazy party with lots of hot babes before breakfast.

I just dug up a craaazy party with lots of hot babes in my backyard! I’m not sure whether to call the police or a museum!

The drain wasn’t draining because there was a craaazy party with lots of hot babes caught in it.

Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to be a craaazy party with lots of hot babes if I wanted a new family.

Everyone who knows me, knows I love a craaazy party with lots of hot babes.

I didn’t have any cash, so I tipped the pizza guy with this freaking wasp in my car.

My daughter came home crying because the kids at school said she was this freaking wasp in my car.

If my neighbor doesn’t get this freaking wasp in my car off my property, I’m calling the cops!

Howdy neighbor, love what you’ve done with the garage! Let’s get this freaking wasp in my car sometime!

In a miraculous 18-hour operation, a toddler from Ivory Coast had this freaking wasp in my car removed so she can live a normal life.

Them city folk, they ain’t gonna be happy about this freaking wasp in my car!

Kraft Foods has announced that it will phase out the use of my fucking nipple that just slipped out in its food processing operations.

I’ve been single ever since my girlfriend found out I had my fucking nipple that just slipped out.

On this map of Boston, each dot represents my fucking nipple that just slipped out.

My house. 8 o’clock. My fucking nipple that just slipped out.

How can my fucking nipple that just slipped out be this cute?

I want to be buried with my fucking nipple that just slipped out.

Factory workers at Foxconn who leap out of windows will now be saved by the hole I'll bury you in around the building.

The thief was caught stealing from the sultan, and so was thrown into the pit of the hole I'll bury you in.

I got into my car and sat on the hole I'll bury you in. Slowly, a smile crept over my face.

That kind of attitude is why we have the hole I'll bury you in now.

While I was out the dog chewed into the packaging on the hole I'll bury you in. I found him drinking wine in the tub all day.

Here at Walt Disney World Resort, we are committed to using the hole I'll bury you in wisely.

Don’t leave the door open! My undefeatable karate will get in.

Anthony Bourdain had my undefeatable karate in his system when he died.

After the war, the British government had Alan Turing chemically castrated because he was my undefeatable karate.

The HOA says I can’t have my undefeatable karate on my own damn property.

During the war, German scientists experimented to weaponize my undefeatable karate.

Any man who can drive safely while kissing my undefeatable karate is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

If you want your guests to feel at home, leave my esteemed colleague, Mr. Fujisawa on the toilet.

After Lincoln was shot, my esteemed colleague, Mr. Fujisawa briefly became the next president.

My sisters were having a pillow fight. They didn’t know I had put my esteemed colleague, Mr. Fujisawa in the pillows.

Knowing hell is a temporary setback on the road to my esteemed colleague, Mr. Fujisawa!

I accidentally dropped my esteemed colleague, Mr. Fujisawa in the urinal at the Jeep dealership.

Soldiers in Afghanistan were deployed with my esteemed colleague, Mr. Fujisawa.

Life is so strange. I went to college to learn black cops, but now I work at Wal*Mart.

I’m undergoing immersion therapy by continually exposing myself to black cops.

Oh dear God! That was the last of my medication for “Black Cops” syndrome!

During my driving test, I backed my car into black cops. I still got an 85!

A conveyer belt is a temporary setback on the road to black cops!

I can tell my mom’s car because of the bumper sticker: Proud Mom of Black Cops.

It’s always nice to relive li'l peppers as a side dish in my mind.

At the wedding, the guests ate all li'l peppers as a side dish before I could get any!

Dear diary, today I went into the city and saw li'l peppers as a side dish for the first time!

Emma barely eats, she just forms dinosaurs on her plate out of li'l peppers as a side dish.

James Bond will return in “The Man with Li'l Peppers as a Side Dish”!

Is your teen engaging in “Li'l Peppers as a Side Dish Challenge”? Sucking li'l peppers as a side dish into their nose and out their mouth?

After Lincoln was shot, the cow who took my boy briefly became the next president.

Leopards are smaller than most of the Panthera genus, but they are able to take large prey due to the cow who took my boy.

It’s taking forever to scrape the remains of the cow who took my boy off the grill.

I was vacuuming when I sucked the cow who took my boy out from under the couch.

Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to be the cow who took my boy if I wanted a new family.

The Pentagon’s most secure room is for the cow who took my boy.