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*****'n Admin
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Comrade General 5-Star Comrade General 5-Star
Registration date
2005 March 21
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1,227 ₧
Upstairs by the sink.

Recent posts by aaronjer

Recent posts by aaronjer

Sniffing anus for pleasure

While you’re at the store can you pick up sniffing anus for pleasure, in family size?

Will I ever love the orbital socket as much as I love sniffing anus for pleasure?

Nancy Drew and the Mystery of Sniffing Anus for Pleasure.

This is a great piece, it doesn’t have a lot of action, but it has a lot of sniffing anus for pleasure.

The referee just issued a red card to my sister for sliding into sniffing anus for pleasure.

President Putin’s approval rating shot to nearly 100% when the Russian government began sniffing anus for pleasure.

Mar 10 at 13:22 PST
My son's penis cage

Last night at the gym I was working out so hard that my son's penis cage came shooting out of a hidden pancake.

Men, like real life, go farthest when they are my son's penis cage.

Family startled to find rattlesnakes hiding in my son's penis cage.

Life is so strange. I went to college to learn my son's penis cage, but now I work at Wal*Mart.

My son's penis cage is known to the state of California to cause cancer.

Holy dogshit, Texas! Only my son's penis cage and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy!

Orgasm consistency

At the urgent care clinic they distracted me with orgasm consistency. I barely even felt the needles.

Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider orgasm consistency.

I’ve decided to allow orgasm consistency in my home.

The thief was caught stealing from the sultan, and so was thrown into the pit of orgasm consistency.

Orgasm-Consistency-a-Roni: the San Francisco treat!

During routine surgery, the doctors found orgasm consistency embedded in my abdomen.

Switching hands and wriggling out

Never shake a baby. It could lead to switching hands and wriggling out.

I got written up at work today for running to the bathroom and switching hands and wriggling out. There was a report.

It’s huge. It’s wet. It’s sprawled out in the parking lot. It’s switching hands and wriggling out.

The dog ate a crazed Eskimo so we’re waiting for switching hands and wriggling out.

Sir, are you aware that there’s switching hands and wriggling out in your basement?!

I got a new app on my phone. It’s called “MyLifeCoach” and it helps me with switching hands and wriggling out.

Feb 15 at 15:43 PST
Instant mummification

It's like they always say: instant mummification never changes.

The kids were running around and one knocked over instant mummification.

Shepherds in Scotland have used instant mummification for years to keep the flock in line.

At the doctor they pumped grandma full of instant mummification.

Our artisanal process ages instant mummification for 3 years, until it's exquisitely sublime.

I never shower without instant mummification.

Feb 14 at 00:53 PST
Cuddling with dad

Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with cuddling with dad.

Look, man, I’m not into cuddling with dad. But $20 is $20.

The 2020 Olympics will feature a new sport: synchronized cuddling with dad.

I’m grounded ‘cuz my parents saw me cuddling with dad at the party last night.

I went rafting, saw cuddling with dad in the river, no big deal.

Happiness: Cuddling with dad, an elite Korean hacker, and floss.

Feb 13 at 18:33 PST
You can never catch up to  , bitch.

You can never catch up to mercury poisoning, bitch.

You can never catch up to 5 officers who were shot, bitch.

You can never catch up to a time machine, bitch.

You can never catch up to earwax, bitch.

You can never catch up to a protective layer of rubber, bitch.

You can never catch up to a mafia hitman, bitch.

Feb 13 at 10:32 PST
My womb

Everyone who knows me, knows I love my womb.

Any man who can drive safely while kissing my womb is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

Honey, you can’t keep putting my womb down the garbage disposal!

But I promised I would get my kids my womb for Christmas!

Working on my car I found my womb had crawled inside the engine block and died.

At LAX travelers were horrified to see my womb spilling onto the baggage carousel, then one after another.


Help! I can’t find my daughter! She looks like womb.

I’m glad you’re my new roomie, my last one was always womb. Always.

Researchers have trained chimps to communicate by rewarding them with womb.

I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then womb really affected me.

You can’t keep running around like womb, you’re going to put an eye out!

I’m not afraid of womb. In fact, it could be good for me.

A tiny squid that lives in your pooper

The new self-help fad: Better Living Through a Tiny Squid That Lives in Your Pooper!

Come to find out a tiny squid that lives in your pooper was hiding in the shower while I was adding alcohol.

The Suez Canal has been completely blocked by a tiny squid that lives in your pooper, costing billions of dollars.

The doctor held up my x-ray and I could just make out a tiny squid that lives in your pooper.

Do they make pills for a tiny squid that lives in your pooper?

The best comfort food will always be greens, a tiny squid that lives in your pooper, and fried chicken.

A violent, raping thrust

No more a violent, raping thrust at Starbucks.

Sky watchers are excited to gaze upon the Super Blood Moon, which is caused by a violent, raping thrust.

Trolls tricked Microsoft’s teen girl AI, Tay, into making offensive remarks about a violent, raping thrust.

Our secret society is dedicated to a violent, raping thrust.

A ghost ship washed up in Japan with a violent, raping thrust on board.

I got one hand in my pocket, and the other one is a violent, raping thrust.