I may not be much to look at, but I fuck like black "people".

Traffic has only gotten worse since the transportation department deployed black "people" up and down the highway.

I never shower without black "people".

I feel great! I got black "people" in my bloodstream.

In Kentucky, stores can’t sell alcohol on holidays like Black "people" Day.

The suspect’s pockets were full of pictures of black "people".

Whoopsie! I forgot white "people" in the car!

I slowly crept up to the bed, whispering, “Get ready for white "people"”

Them city folk, they ain’t gonna be happy about white "people"!

Run, Run, as fast as you can! You can’t catch me, I’m white "people".

Man, I drank so much last night that I’m basically white "people".

Texas’ largest export after refined oil is white "people".

At the winery tour we saw how they put grapes and brown "people" in the tank.

Every time I go to Costco I feel like I come back with brown "people".

AC power carries farther than DC due to brown "people".

My parents used to beat me with brown "people". I just had to lay there and take it.

Can’t go out because of brown "people" on your face? Ask your dermatologist if Zal-sudden-nudity-cor is right for you.

A BBC team has witnessed the effects of brown "people" on civilians in rebel-held areas of Syria.

You hear about those freaky parents that kept my dad who works at Nintendo locked under the stairs?

My dad’s secret society is dedicated to my dad who works at Nintendo.

Everyone who knows me, knows I love my dad who works at Nintendo.

I went to my step mom’s church and the priest blessed me with my dad who works at Nintendo.

Give me liberty or give me my dad who works at Nintendo!

Every morning I hop out of bed and get straight to my dad who works at Nintendo, even before I put on my clothes.

My neck / my back / Blood set aside for the Blood God and my crack

These tilapia will eat anything we throw in: a pregnant teen, garbage... even Blood set aside for the Blood God.

If I ever catch you doing drugs with Blood set aside for the Blood God I’m sending you straight to hell.

Will I ever love my out of control libido as much as I love Blood set aside for the Blood God?

Don’t you hate when you see Blood set aside for the Blood God in the carpool lane?

These penguins lay eggs which must stay under Blood set aside for the Blood God to keep warm.

The Spice girls are getting back together with a new member: The Evil Head That's STILL Chasing Us Spice!

I’m taking this opportunity to reassess my views on the evil head that's STILL chasing us, and grow as a person.

The N64 was Nintendo’s first console with the evil head that's STILL chasing us.

A Russian couple taught a bear how to be the evil head that's STILL chasing us.

As he entered the interrogation room the suspect saw the evil head that's STILL chasing us on the table. His heart dropped.

Went to Uwajimaya, bought the evil head that's STILL chasing us, dried and in a bag. Wanna try?

Blood intended for the Blood God slowly began to open and one of the researchers said, “It’s accepting us!”

Blood intended for the Blood God is a temporary setback on the road to a child taxidermy video!

My house. 8 o’clock. Blood intended for the Blood God.

Jeez! Who slipped Blood intended for the Blood God in your Cheerios™ this morning?

The referee just issued a red card to my sister for sliding into Blood intended for the Blood God.

During routine surgery, the doctors found Blood intended for the Blood God embedded in my abdomen.

For overseas markets, Miramax had to edit scenes with a big ol' dude with his weenis out.

How did I survive a big ol' dude with his weenis out? I ate my way out.

A big ol' dude with his weenis out led to that night at summer camp we never talk about.

New Mountain Dew™ flavor: A Big Ol' Dude With His Weenis Out Blast!

The Halifax bridge collapsed under the intense weight of a big ol' dude with his weenis out.

Melt the butter and spread it across a big ol' dude with his weenis out, then pop it in the oven for 20 minutes for a treat!

a child taxidermy video when still a little warm? Fresh enough, I say.

a not-so-innocent girl when still a little warm? Fresh enough, I say.

a dog when still a little warm? Fresh enough, I say.

yelling “DIE!” when still a little warm? Fresh enough, I say.

completely wigging out when still a little warm? Fresh enough, I say.

getting tossed in the trash when still a little warm? Fresh enough, I say.

You know what never fails to liven up the party? A gopnik with a Kalashnikov.

My girlfriend kicked a gopnik with a Kalashnikov, and she’s fine. I want to break up with her but I’m afraid!

When the mixture is bubbling, delicately add a gopnik with a Kalashnikov to the pan, while stirring constantly.

On Ebay you can get a gopnik with a Kalashnikov but it may be counterfeit.

This party was a real snooze, until... a gopnik with a Kalashnikov??

We’re having a gopnik with a Kalashnikov situation. Please stand by...

The new Fallout DLC will allow you to recruit essentially, tomatoes and acquire my daughter's bigger testicle!

Somebody screenshotted my Snapchat and now everyone thinks I’m my daughter's bigger testicle.

The Halifax bridge collapsed under the intense weight of my daughter's bigger testicle.

NASA spent millions developing a pen that could write in space. The Russians used my daughter's bigger testicle.

Sometimes I feel out of place at the gym then I look around and see my daughter's bigger testicle, and I feel better.

The sun and my daughter's bigger testicle: a combination that just can’t be beat!

During the war, German scientists experimented to weaponize fresh moose velvet.

Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider fresh moose velvet.

I couldn’t get into my apartment. Some powerful kind of fresh moose velvet was blocking the door.

Fresh moose velvet. Now in Jumbo size at Walmart®.

I’ve got a master’s degree in Fresh Moose Velvet!

My husband’s man-cave needed a woman’s touch, so I decorated it with fresh moose velvet.