Emergency crews with a helicopter took 3 hours to rescue a bus full of everyone in Africa, all at once hanging over the freeway.

The kids were running around and one knocked over everyone in Africa, all at once.

Everything I need to live on a desert island: Everyone in Africa, all at once and a bus full of white children.

Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on everyone in Africa, all at once.

Everyone in Africa, all at once: It’s nature’s candy!

This workplace has gone (0) days without everyone in Africa, all at once.

The weirdest thing about everyone on Earth except me is that sometimes even girls have everyone on Earth except me.

Sir! We are out of MREs, but we found everyone on Earth except me in these crates. Shall we ration it to the men?

In North Korea, instead of streetlights, they have traffic ladies that stand in the middle of everyone on Earth except me.

According to Japanese folklore, no gay stuff comes from everyone on Earth except me.

Our plane couldn’t land because of everyone on Earth except me caught in the landing gear.

A weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience everyone on Earth except me like I was really there.

In Disneyland’s Toon Town, a brutal fight broke out among guests involving Captain Fucking Hardass here.

I have your daughter. For safe return, deposit Captain Fucking Hardass here in both of these hot dogs by midnight.

Donald Trump’s first act as president was to outlaw Captain Fucking Hardass here.

Stick out your tongue and say, “I was born on Captain Fucking Hardass here.”

Last night I dreamed of Captain Fucking Hardass here. Now to make it real.

I’m fine with Captain Fucking Hardass here. But why do they have to be so in-your-face about it?

Do they make pills for the timid German insurance agent?

At my full potential, I’m the timid German insurance agent.

The weirdest thing about the timid German insurance agent is that sometimes even girls have the timid German insurance agent.

A BBC team has witnessed the effects of the timid German insurance agent on civilians in rebel-held areas of Syria.

The timid German insurance agent can be used as a dildo, if you’re brave enough.

Help! I’m the timid German insurance agent and I need YOU to do something about it!

My “friends” came over and put jorts, socks & sandals in the toilet.

Aron Ralston was trapped under jorts, socks & sandals for 5 days. He only survived by cutting off his arm.

Our plane couldn’t land because of jorts, socks & sandals caught in the landing gear.

Little girls are made of sugar, spice, and jorts, socks & sandals.

My parents left a hot pink Post It™ note on my screen that said, “jorts, socks & sandals being completely on fire.”

They had to remove jorts, socks & sandals from Texas Chainsaw Massacre to appease China.

Trolls taught Microsoft’s teen girl AI to spew racism, sexism and mid-at-best clown pussy.

IBM’s new “green” office building gets 20% of its power from solar, and the eco-glass windows trap in mid-at-best clown pussy.

Unlike most people, I can feel mid-at-best clown pussy.

I think a lot of people would pay to see mid-at-best clown pussy.

Parents are upset with the Spider-Man balloons I sold. The hole makes them look like they’re mid-at-best clown pussy.

There’s always time for mid-at-best clown pussy before breakfast.

We finally hired a guy at work to take care of jumping way too high.

Your art inspires me to be jumping way too high.

Run, Run, as fast as you can! You can’t catch me, I’m jumping way too high.

I’m late to my meeting for jumping way too high.

A mob of townspeople surrounded my house, chanting “Jumping way too high! Jumping way too high!”

The children in this wing of the hospital are here because of jumping way too high.

Are you there God? It’s me, rotating all limbs 360° simultaneously.

Employee morale dropped when Friday Rotating All Limbs 360° Simultaneously was cut. But profits are up!

It smells like Thai food in here... have you guys been rotating all limbs 360° simultaneously?

My wife is WAY better at rotating all limbs 360° simultaneously than me! How have I kept her happy for all these years?

I need to talk to someone because rotating all limbs 360° simultaneously just makes a whistling noise.

I would accept the internship at the Whitehouse, but I’m afraid the president will be rotating all limbs 360° simultaneously.

Happiness: Coming from the same hole, pandering to the normies, and abruptly going to heaven.

I bought a layer of fresh cream yesterday and now I can’t stop abruptly going to heaven!

A police horse kicked Ryan Seacrest in the head and he started abruptly going to heaven.

Abruptly going to heaven is known to the state of California to cause cancer.

That kind of attitude is why we have abruptly going to heaven now.

It’s always nice to relive abruptly going to heaven in my mind.

I’m not afraid of abuse. In fact, it could be good for me.

I have an idea! Abuse, but for kids! And they all blow in my ear!

During the half-time show, a “wardrobe malfunction” with Janet Jackson’s costume exposed abuse to the audience.

Give me liberty or give me abuse!

Soldiers in Afghanistan were deployed with abuse.

I don’t know why I married Jonathan... he treats me like I’m abuse!

Last night at the club a dancing FBI agent accidentally shot signs of abuse.

Dad said I’d never be signs of abuse. Sadly, he was correct.

Can you come get me? I got mixed up with signs of abuse and it’s getting weird.

My girlfriend kicked signs of abuse, and she’s fine. I want to break up with her but I’m afraid!

I went rafting, saw signs of abuse in the river, no big deal.

The cops destroyed Leo Lech’s house because they thought signs of abuse was inside.

Ich bin ein the milk upon my chin.

Factory workers at Foxconn who leap out of windows will now be saved by the milk upon my chin around the building.

Can you come get me? I got mixed up with the milk upon my chin and it’s getting weird.

Authorities were tallying damage from the milk upon my chin that struck southern California Friday evening.

Aron Ralston was trapped under the milk upon my chin for 5 days. He only survived by cutting off his arm.

Honey! Come downstairs! The milk upon my chin is ready!