aaronjer

aaronjer

User name
aaronjer
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*****'n Admin
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#838405
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Comrade General 5-Star Comrade General 5-Star
Registration date
2005 March 21
Post count
4935
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1,227 ₧
Location
Upstairs by the sink.
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America/Los_Angeles
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Recent posts by aaronjer

Recent posts by aaronjer

Feb 11 at 07:22 PST
Well seasoned roadkill
nc

No one in Morocco can have well seasoned roadkill without registering with the government.

Huge scandal this week as the PM of Australia was caught with well seasoned roadkill.

Rocky tubes inside the volcano, sometimes called “sex friends,” are the passages for well seasoned roadkill to flow.

Well seasoned roadkill can be used as a dildo, if you’re brave enough.

A new study found that giving employees well seasoned roadkill can motivate them more than a cash bonus.

A sea cucumber can eject well seasoned roadkill from its anus in self-defense.


A recognized standard for pony conventions
n

Aww! My mom packed a terrible lunch: A recognized standard for pony conventions and apple slices.

When I get older, I don’t want to be a recognized standard for pony conventions.

The cineplex has been using a recognized standard for pony conventions in the popcorn machine because it’s cheaper than oil.

Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with a recognized standard for pony conventions.

At work I secretly have a recognized standard for pony conventions under my desk.

I saw two hobos fighting over a recognized standard for pony conventions behind the library. One of them was praying.


An inchoate mass of feline ooze
n

Craft idea: use Band-Aids to stick an inchoate mass of feline ooze to your family photo.

My kid was acting up, so I took away an inchoate mass of feline ooze privileges.

Slender and muscled, like an inchoate mass of feline ooze. She was the spitting image of femininity.

At the acupuncture clinic they stuck needles in innocent women and children. That’s supposed to help me with an inchoate mass of feline ooze?!

I’m sure I tossed an inchoate mass of feline ooze in this dumpster somewhere.

An-Inchoate-Mass-of-Feline-Ooze-a-Roni: the San Francisco treat!


Excessive anal torture
nc

Excessive anal torture? I got all dressed up for excessive anal torture?

My PC stopped working so I opened it up and found excessive anal torture inside.

I spun 3 long strips of human meat in a row on the slot machine and won excessive anal torture!

This one simple trick is all you need to spice up the bedroom: excessive anal torture.

It’s gonna take a lot to drag me away from you. There’s nothing that excessive anal torture could ever do.

A guerrilla ad campaign for Netflix’s new show has people spotting excessive anal torture around town.


My coolest Harry Potter theory
n

I didn’t mean to start my coolest Harry Potter theory, it just happened!

As an homage to humanity, NASA has broadcasted my coolest Harry Potter theory to the vastness of space.

Making the best chocolate chip cookies requires my coolest Harry Potter theory.

This ship’s gonna sink unless we throw my coolest Harry Potter theory overboard!

The Japanese insist on their traditional right to hunt my coolest Harry Potter theory in the sea.

In public restrooms I always put my coolest Harry Potter theory on the toilet before sitting down.


Murderable women in Ireland
np

My dad’s new Harley has got murderable women in Ireland painted on both sides.

Vote for me and I’ll get rid of murderable women in Ireland, and give everyone violent docking, coming in hard for free.

The doctor held up my x-ray and I could just make out murderable women in Ireland.

Kraft Foods has announced that it will phase out the use of murderable women in Ireland in its food processing operations.

Murderable women in Ireland is great for close quarters combat.

When the mixture is bubbling, delicately add murderable women in Ireland to the pan, while stirring constantly.


The blood of non-autistic children
n

Aunt Shasta usually brings the blood of non-autistic children to the picnic.

For my project I’m making the blood of non-autistic children. But I need to see if they have your fluid-filled lungs at the craft store.

I’ve been at work for more than 5 and half hours. Time for the blood of non-autistic children

My kids keep installing the blood of non-autistic children on the computer and I think it’s making it slow.

I was surprised to find bones in the blood of non-autistic children. Is that normal?

In protest, Gandhi swore to abstain from the blood of non-autistic children.


Nov 26 at 11:11 PST
A device with the sole purpose of twisting and bending spaghetti
n

The school’s on lockdown because someone left a device with the sole purpose of twisting and bending spaghetti in the hall. And Mr. Ryan was getting diagnosed with it!

Viewers donated $40,000 to see a device with the sole purpose of twisting and bending spaghetti.

Vampires can only be killed by a device with the sole purpose of twisting and bending spaghetti.

I’m your lifestyle today because tomorrow I’ll be too busy with a device with the sole purpose of twisting and bending spaghetti.

Some perv at work put a hidden camera in a device with the sole purpose of twisting and bending spaghetti to watch people asexually reproducing.

Always makes me hungry when I see the butcher shop with a device with the sole purpose of twisting and bending spaghetti hanging in the window.


Oct 30 at 16:35 PDT
Individually packaged liters of rooster sperm
np

Went to Uwajimaya, bought individually packaged liters of rooster sperm, dried and in a bag. Wanna try?

I talked to God and there will be individually packaged liters of rooster sperm in the apocalypse.

Up next, you won’t believe what our secret cameras caught: individually packaged liters of rooster sperm.

The new hit reality show: Can You Swallow Individually Packaged Liters of Rooster Sperm?

At the carnival I went on the thing where you ride individually packaged liters of rooster sperm.

The thief was caught stealing from the sultan, and so was thrown into the pit of individually packaged liters of rooster sperm.


Oct 12 at 09:11 PDT
Significantly less ants after yesterday
nc

No wonder Dad lost his money, he invested in significantly less ants after yesterday!

If you pour it right, a frothy layer of significantly less ants after yesterday will form on top of your beer.

Scorpions can shed significantly less ants after yesterday in order to escape a predator... but doing so also removes their anus.

The fire raged out of control because the firemen’s hoses got caught around significantly less ants after yesterday.

I don’t give money to the homeless. Instead I provide significantly less ants after yesterday directly.

They finally found Amelia Earnhardt’s bones. They were in significantly less ants after yesterday.