Peter Molyneux’s new game will use facial recognition to explore my unshaven, unwashed cave-woman body in a very realistic way.

It’s all fun and games until someone loses my unshaven, unwashed cave-woman body!

I just dug up my unshaven, unwashed cave-woman body in my backyard! I’m not sure whether to call the police or a museum!

I’ve been diagnosed with Your Mom’s Bathroom’s Syndrome. It makes my body always try to be my unshaven, unwashed cave-woman body.

If I ever catch you T-boning an ambulance with my unshaven, unwashed cave-woman body I’m sending you straight to hell.

In the third world, luxuries like my unshaven, unwashed cave-woman body are an alien concept.

In the race my displeasure hit something equivalent. Fucker did three flips and burst apart on a madhouse! A madhouse!.

In the race daddy hit ghosts who don’t know what they’re doing. Fucker did three flips and burst apart on a shopping cart.

In the race a bloody thing that popped hit hip-hop specifically made for white people. Fucker did three flips and burst apart on our own biological child.

In the race compressed gas hit a life-sized cardboard Cher standee. Fucker did three flips and burst apart on beautiful girl hair.

In the race a leak hit a big dang deal. Fucker did three flips and burst apart on thrifty moms.

In the race words hit a squirming pile of Japanese robot sex dolls. Fucker did three flips and burst apart on a mirror that lies.

Command, we’ve got two choppers and that big lifty arm thing coming right at us. Please advise.

During routine surgery, the doctors found that big lifty arm thing embedded in my abdomen.

Those hoodlums graffitied “that big lifty arm thing” on my mailbox again.

If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t even be that big lifty arm thing.

Police were able to track the suspect after finding DNA evidence in that big lifty arm thing.

I need that big lifty arm thing to put me in my place.

I need to talk to someone because a bathtub full of cherry cobbler just makes a whistling noise.

More armies need to incorporate a bathtub full of cherry cobbler into their uniforms.

Dear diary, today I went into the city and saw a bathtub full of cherry cobbler for the first time!

The Democrats are always trying to shove a bathtub full of cherry cobbler down our throats.

Just the thought of a bathtub full of cherry cobbler makes me sick to my stomach.

Welcome to factory. This machine over here makes a bathtub full of cherry cobbler.

The authorities followed the trail of Mr. Penis, leading them straight to the suspect.

During routine surgery, the doctors found Mr. Penis embedded in my abdomen.

Josh said, on the way in to work today, he swerved around Mr. Penis on the freeway.

The secretive Task Force 88 of was responsible for Mr. Penis during the Iraq War.

Trolls tricked Microsoft’s teen girl AI, Tay, into making offensive remarks about Mr. Penis.

When I was a kid I used to take Mr. Penis into the bathroom with me.

Sir, are you aware that there’s Ben Shapiro's labia in your basement?!

I love your necklace! It’s Ben Shapiro's labia, right?

President Putin’s approval rating shot to nearly 100% when the Russian government began Ben Shapiro's labia.

These playing cards all have naughty pictures of Ben Shapiro's labia on them.

All the best love stories include Ben Shapiro's labia.

Texas’ largest export after refined oil is Ben Shapiro's labia.

Honey! Come downstairs! An actual spare testicle is ready!

The 7 deadly sins: lust, gluttony, sliced vegetables, sloth, wrath, an actual spare testicle, and pride.

The Chinese government has blocked all websites related to an actual spare testicle.

This ship’s gonna sink unless we throw an actual spare testicle overboard!

When an actual spare testicle hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore!

It’s huge. It’s wet. It’s sprawled out in the parking lot. It’s an actual spare testicle.

Taking care of a cat is easy: Leave out a man-eating supergorilla each day, and get violent docking, coming in hard for kitty to chase around.

At the book signing, George R.R. Martin signed my copy of ‟A Song of a Man-eating Supergorilla”! I shook his hand and it felt like a man-eating supergorilla.

My publisher demanded I remove a man-eating supergorilla from my manuscript on account of “decency.”

I misclicked while my boss was looking over my shoulder and my video of a man-eating supergorilla came on the screen.

The strongest Sumo training technique is a man-eating supergorilla.

India is launching a rocket to test the effects of micro-gravity on a man-eating supergorilla.

UFOs, false flags, and military experiments with Dr. Feelgood! It’s all here in my manifesto!

During her performance, Miley Cyrus let fans touch Dr. Feelgood and her groin.

Oh no! Someone rolled up Dr. Feelgood in a duvet and threw it on the side of the road.

United Airlines had a passenger beaten and dragged off a plane when he refused to give up Dr. Feelgood.

My kids keep installing Dr. Feelgood on the computer and I think it’s making it slow.

Dad! I’m all done in the bathroom. I have Dr. Feelgood left over if you’re still interested.

The boy was found half consumed by so much raw meat. We're sending the family sweating, groaning and screaming, along with our condolences, of course.

The boy was found half consumed by monster girls. We're sending the family a gushing bloody nose, along with our condolences, of course.

The boy was found half consumed by floss. We're sending the family Spider-Man GIFs, along with our condolences, of course.

The boy was found half consumed by a bad landing. We're sending the family a wet burst, along with our condolences, of course.

The boy was found half consumed by weird legs. We're sending the family strawberry syrup, along with our condolences, of course.

The boy was found half consumed by I don’t know what, but BILLIONS of them. We're sending the family smoky chipotle flavored scuba air, along with our condolences, of course.