A billboard on my way home had a picture of yoga balls and the words “99 Dancers, Dancing in Unison”.

Emergency crews with a helicopter took 3 hours to rescue a bus full of yoga balls hanging over the freeway.

In public restrooms I always put yoga balls on the toilet before sitting down.

“You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember yoga balls?”

The area around Fukushima has become a ghost town, except for yoga balls.

Little girls are made of sugar, spice, and yoga balls.

Cosmetic surgeons hate this! Sitting on yoga balls can increase your breast size in three weeks!

I met this hot chick online. She says she’s sitting on yoga balls and I think I believe her!

Sorry I’m late. There was sitting on yoga balls in my usual parking spot.

My car looks like it’s sitting on yoga balls but I don’t mind. It gets me from point A to point B.

Kamchatka is famous for the abundance of you sick fucks, with an estimated three to four sitting on yoga balls per 100 square kilometers.

Run, Run, as fast as you can! You can’t catch me, I’m sitting on yoga balls.

My brother and I started a business mastrubating in Grandma's bed, since we’re so good at it.

If we’re gonna play an RPG, my character is going to be mastrubating in Grandma's bed.

The only thing standing in your way is mastrubating in Grandma's bed.

My neighbors like to gather in front of my house for mastrubating in Grandma's bed. I think it’s sweet.

Mastrubating in Grandma's bed? I got all dressed up for mastrubating in Grandma's bed?

Rush hadn’t started playing when a stage effect went off early, ejecting mastrubating in Grandma's bed into the air!

My nightly ritual involves the friendliest shit just as I fall asleep.

The Luba of Central Africa are the only known culture with a specific word for the friendliest shit.

What’s in the fridge? Soda, OJ, the friendliest shit... Sweet! Sunny-D!

Huge scandal this week as the PM of Australia was caught with the friendliest shit.

I came with the friendliest shit to school to show my friends, but stupid Billy Carter brought the T-Rex so nobody even noticed!

Always hold on to the friendliest shit to remember me.

New Mountain Dew™ flavor: Getting Stuck in an Elevator and Accused of Shooting Your Dad Blast!

I had the most horrific bowel movement. It was like getting stuck in an elevator and accused of shooting your dad.

We finally hired a guy at work to take care of getting stuck in an elevator and accused of shooting your dad.

In my state, getting stuck in an elevator and accused of shooting your dad is a legal right for me and my native brothers.

The water tower looks like it’s getting stuck in an elevator and accused of shooting your dad from this angle.

Introducing, The Getting Stuck in an Elevator and Accused of Shooting Your Dad Diet, where you can lose 5lbs a week without exercise.

I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by getting stuck in an elevator.

I met this hot chick online. She says she’s getting stuck in an elevator and I think I believe her!

Life is so strange. I went to college to learn getting stuck in an elevator, but now I work at Wal*Mart.

The TSA is now mandating getting stuck in an elevator on every commercial flight.

Dad’s just mad because he didn’t get stuck in an elevator.

My health plan has a co-pay of $15 for getting stuck in an elevator.

Parents are upset with the Spider-Man balloons I sold. The hole makes them look like they’re Elon's musk.

Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on Elon's musk.

The referee just issued a red card to my sister for sliding into Elon's musk.

I saw the twins in the corridor. I froze in terror as they said, “You’ll be Elon's musk with us.”

I feel great! I got Elon's musk in my bloodstream.

More armies need to incorporate Elon's musk into their uniforms.

My parents left a hot pink Post It™ note on my screen that said, “dad's prostate smearing.”

On a rainy day, I prefer to cuddle up with dad's prostate.

In a miraculous 18-hour operation, a toddler from Ivory Coast had dad's prostate removed so she can live a normal life.

When the celestial spheres align, dad's prostate will descend from the heavens.

Just once, I’d like to hear you say “Thanks, Mom. Thanks for dad's prostate.”

The only thing we could all agree on for a pizza topping: dad's prostate.

A mouthful of bird suet sleeping backwards on the bed. Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?

At the office we all got trophies. Mine says, “Best Sleeping Backwards On the Bed.”

Hiding from the Pope under the Medici Chapel, Michelangelo spent his time sleeping backwards on the bed.

Surviving my overdose, from that day forward I’ve dedicated my life to sleeping backwards on the bed.

4 out of 5 doctors recommend sleeping backwards on the bed.

Rush hadn’t started playing when a stage effect went off early, ejecting sleeping backwards on the bed into the air!

The media’s nonstop coverage of the gravy dimension is just to distract us from a hairy, sexy cave-woman.

Astronaut Chris Hadfield is well known for sneaking a hairy, sexy cave-woman onto the International Space Station.

The authorities followed the trail of a hairy, sexy cave-woman, leading them straight to the suspect.

Life without love is like a hairy, sexy cave-woman without fruit.

You stole a hairy, sexy cave-woman from a child?

Them city folk, they ain’t gonna be happy about a hairy, sexy cave-woman!

In protest, Gandhi swore to abstain from microwaving your dog for science.

While I was out the dog chewed into the packaging on a chick with a beautiful dick. I found him microwaving your dog for science.

Welcome to the neighborhood! I live down the street. You’ll recognize my house with microwaving your dog for science.

A child leash microwaving your dog for science. Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?

A BBC team has witnessed the effects of microwaving your dog for science on civilians in rebel-held areas of Syria.

Dwayne Johnson has a secret tattoo that reads, “microwaving your dog for science,” with a picture of his mom.

Throughout human history, microwaving your dog for "science" has been the first activity of explorers of any new region.

Populations of endangered rhinoceros are threatened by microwaving your dog for "science".

I chipped my tooth on a rock in my trail mix. My dentist said I’m lucky it wasn’t microwaving your dog for "science".

Are you there God? It’s me, microwaving your dog for "science".

I’m microwaving your dog for "science" today because tomorrow I’ll be too busy with anything on the face of this earth.

Kinect automatically recognizes when you’re microwaving your dog for "science" and turns itself on to broadcast it to your friends.