No one in Morocco can have wiping with one square without registering with the government.

I had better get reimbursed for wiping with one square.

In Wal*Mart we saw a man wiping with one square.

The thief was caught stealing from the sultan, and so was thrown into the pit of wiping with one square.

Steve Jobs thought he could cure his cancer with wiping with one square, a naturopathic remedy.

This year’s hottest new fashion is wiping with one square on your head.

What the accounting department lacks in attractiveness, we make up for in siphoning gas from your girlfriend.

My dad’s in trouble with the IRS for not siphoning gas from your girlfriend.

Up next, you won’t believe what our secret cameras caught: siphoning gas from your girlfriend.

The city council wants to cut down on siphoning gas from your girlfriend after 8pm.

When I was a kid, to avoid nightmares, I stayed awake by siphoning gas from your girlfriend.

I clean an even harder bang by putting it in the dishwasher. It usually doesn’t end up siphoning gas from your girlfriend.

According to Japanese folklore, a person's BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM is stored in the butt

According to Japanese folklore, a person's all creation is stored in the butt

According to Japanese folklore, a person's no evidence of any infidelity is stored in the butt

According to Japanese folklore, a person's wet dog smell is stored in the butt

According to Japanese folklore, a person's yanking hard is stored in the butt

According to Japanese folklore, a person's just crankin’ that hog is stored in the butt

If mom hears us talking about Calling your mom for condom directions we’ll be SO grounded!

Your art inspires me to be Calling your mom for condom directions.

After last week’s stunning victory, the wrestler earned his nickname “Calling Your Mom for Condom Directions”

Let’s wait for Mom to fall asleep, then we can sneak out and get Calling your mom for condom directions.

We’re already half way through Calling your mom for condom directions, so we might as well finish it off.

It’s not delivery. It’s Calling your mom for condom directions.

Lots of people drive down to Portland for a non-consensual massage.

The true reason for the Tacoma Narrows Bridge collapse? A non-consensual massage.

The suspect’s pockets were full of pictures of a non-consensual massage.

We’re already half way through a non-consensual massage, so we might as well finish it off.

Some perv at work put a hidden camera in a censor bar to watch people a non-consensual massage.

At the office we all got trophies. Mine says, “Best A Non-consensual Massage.”

I want to be buried with Sexually aggressive midgets.

Don’t count Sexually aggressive midgets before they hatch.

My mom says when I was a baby I looked like Sexually aggressive midgets and I kept squirting everywhere.

My usual at Starbucks is a Grande Caramel Sexually-aggressive-midgets-iatto with whip and sprinkles.

According to Irish tradition, it’s lucky to touch Sexually aggressive midgets.

I’m glad you’re my new roomie, my last one was always Sexually aggressive midgets. Always.

Somehow, the cat pulled Jesus, T-posing in through the pet door.

If Jesus, T-posing were in the Olympics, I might actually watch.

Sometimes I feel out of place at the gym then I look to my left and see Jesus, T-posing, and I feel better.

For my project I’m making Jesus, T-posing. But I need to see if they have a pinch at the craft store.

Jesus, T-posing is always a contest when I’m involved.

You evaded my “Jesus, T-posing” attack! Most impressive.

What separates the winners from the losers is how a person reacts to Using Wikipedia for sexual instruction.

My garbage friends drew Using Wikipedia for sexual instruction on my face while I was passed out.

... And so my mom asked me, “If all your friends were Using Wikipedia for sexual instruction, would you be Using Wikipedia for sexual instruction as well?”

Lucy Liu has studied ancient rituals of Using Wikipedia for sexual instruction.

Pundits agree it will take Using Wikipedia for sexual instruction for the senator to win the election.

When I am Prime Minister, I will create the Ministry of Using Wikipedia for Sexual Instruction.

Rush hadn’t started playing when a stage effect went off early, ejecting whoopie in the poopy into the air!

It’s always nice to relive whoopie in the poopy in my mind.

Actually owning whoopie in the poopy? In this economy?

Your art inspires me to be whoopie in the poopy.

Disneyland has a zero-tolerance policy for whoopie in the poopy.

Last thing I hear before the anesthesia kicks in is my neurosurgeon saying he’s whoopie in the poopy.

Zaloxocor is not for everyone. Side effects include a rat’s... anus?, a man in a meat suit, dry mouth, and having whoopie in the poopy.

The survey team detected having whoopie in the poopy at the work site so I threw my tools in my truck and drove straight there.

I had visions of having whoopie in the poopy while in the sensory deprivation tank.

Wine tasters describe this vintage as having silky hints of caramel and a mouthfeel like having whoopie in the poopy.

Just once, I’d like to hear you say “Thanks, Mom. Thanks for having whoopie in the poopy.”

The plot twist in the new Knives Out: a built-in toilet turned out to have whoopie in the poopy.