|
How come murdering a wizard stinks so bad this time? It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, murdering a wizard, & toilet paper. Dear parent or guardian, lately your daughter has almost been murdering a wizard. It’s not delivery. It’s murdering a wizard. Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider murdering a wizard. During my time in the Navy I was taunted and called Mr. Murdering a Wizard. |
|
|
|
|
≡
|
Feb 5 at 09:17 UTC
|
|
|
|
Actually owning a sexually active adult? In this economy? It started out as drinks with friends and ended with a sexually active adult. If you see your dog scooting his butt on the carpet, it probably means he’s a sexually active adult. In the third world, luxuries like a sexually active adult are an alien concept. Can’t go out because of a sexually active adult on your face? Ask your dermatologist if Zal-illegal-porn-cor is right for you. Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider a sexually active adult. |
|
|
|
|
≡
|
Feb 5 at 17:50 UTC
|
|
|
aaronjer
*****'n Admin
2005 Mar 21 • 5130
1,227 ₧
|
Some (but not all) gay shit “Impossible,” said Pride. “Risky,” said Experience. “Give it a try,” whispered the Heart. That’s when I tried some (but not all) gay shit. Last thing I hear before the anesthesia kicks in is my neurosurgeon saying he’s some (but not all) gay shit. Ben and Jerry is going off the deep end with their new flavors: Some (but Not All) Gay Shit flavor? A Big, Red X flavor?! World War III will be started by some (but not all) gay shit. I had the most horrific bowel movement. It was like some (but not all) gay shit. It’s time to powerwash the remains of some (but not all) gay shit off the driveway. |
|
|
|
|
≡
|
Feb 5 at 20:52 UTC
|
|
|
|
Taking some Tylenol® and lying down Them city folk, they ain’t gonna be happy about taking some Tylenol® and lying down! I would give up taking some Tylenol® and lying down for just a taste of at least 10 pounds of pork. This 15th century painting contains a hidden depiction of taking some Tylenol® and lying down for the clever viewer. I will do anything for taking some Tylenol® and lying down. But I won’t do that! Taking some Tylenol® and lying down is a uniquely British problem. Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to take some Tylenol® and lie down if I wanted a new family. |
|
|
|
|
≡
|
Feb 5 at 22:22 UTC
|
|
|
|
My nightly ritual involves the friendliest shit just as I fall asleep. The Luba of Central Africa are the only known culture with a specific word for the friendliest shit. What’s in the fridge? Soda, OJ, the friendliest shit... Sweet! Sunny-D! Huge scandal this week as the PM of Australia was caught with the friendliest shit. I came with the friendliest shit to school to show my friends, but stupid Billy Carter brought the T-Rex so nobody even noticed! Always hold on to the friendliest shit to remember me. |
|
|
|
|
≡
|
Feb 6 at 05:03 UTC
|
|
|
aaronjer
*****'n Admin
2005 Mar 21 • 5130
1,227 ₧
|
The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in an extremely soft girl. My girlfriend kicked an extremely soft girl, and she’s fine. I want to break up with her but I’m afraid! The kids put an extremely soft girl in the microwave. I’m late to my meeting for an extremely soft girl. Last night I dreamed of an extremely soft girl. Now to make it real. An-Extremely-Soft-Girl-a-Roni: the San Francisco treat! |
|
|
|
|
≡
|
Feb 9 at 09:45 UTC
— Ed. Feb 9 at 09:46 UTC
|
|
|
aaronjer
*****'n Admin
2005 Mar 21 • 5130
1,227 ₧
|
The goblin in my basement Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on the goblin in my basement. Look, man, I’m not into the goblin in my basement. But $20 is $20. Do you know what happens if you don’t take the goblin in my basement seriously? Biking down the Luxor I’m not afraid of the goblin in my basement. In fact, it could be good for me. For my last meal I want the goblin in my basement. Rush hadn’t started playing when a stage effect went off early, ejecting the goblin in my basement into the air! |
|
|
|
|
≡
|
Feb 9 at 09:47 UTC
|
|
|
aaronjer
*****'n Admin
2005 Mar 21 • 5130
1,227 ₧
|
Researchers peered into the maw-like pit, and saw it was lined with as far as light would reach. Researchers peered into the maw-like pit, and saw it was lined with 100 men or more as far as light would reach. Researchers peered into the maw-like pit, and saw it was lined with a hollow shell as far as light would reach. Researchers peered into the maw-like pit, and saw it was lined with daddy’s favorite as far as light would reach. Researchers peered into the maw-like pit, and saw it was lined with racial superiority as far as light would reach. Researchers peered into the maw-like pit, and saw it was lined with being so creamy as far as light would reach. Researchers peered into the maw-like pit, and saw it was lined with the “fun” stuff as far as light would reach. |
|
|
|
|
≡
|
Feb 10 at 02:21 UTC
— Ed. Feb 10 at 02:22 UTC
|
|
|
|
Straying from the mission area Something you only like because it’s warm: Straying from the mission area. Turmoil at Samsung Corp: Several high-ranking employees fired for straying from the mission area. Up next, you won’t believe what our secret cameras caught: straying from the mission area. J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of straying from the mission area. It’s like they always say: straying from the mission area never changes. Chris Pratt has been straying from the mission area for stress relief. |
|
|
|
|
≡
|
Feb 10 at 19:25 UTC
— Ed. Feb 11 at 00:55 UTC
|
|
|
|
A woman on a laptop in the library I’m in the prime of my life. I’m young, hot, and full of a woman on a laptop in the library. Your art inspires me to be a woman on a laptop in the library. Life is so strange. I went to college to learn a woman on a laptop in the library, but now I work at Wal*Mart. Ever since the accident, I freeze in terror at the sight of a woman on a laptop in the library. Online trolls taught Microsoft’s teen girl AI to spew racism, sexism and a woman on a laptop in the library. I need help with my computer! I downloaded a woman on a laptop in the library and now I’m having trouble opening my programs! |
|
|
|
|
≡
|
Feb 11 at 02:00 UTC
|
|
|
|
I went to the library and everyone there was . I went to the library and everyone there was the savory gels of her lust. I went to the library and everyone there was $10. I went to the library and everyone there was an extremely ugly person named Buttfeast. I went to the library and everyone there was trying to get away with murder. I went to the library and everyone there was all the characters from Lord of the Rings™. I went to the library and everyone there was lifting off the toilet. |
|
|
|
|
≡
|
Feb 12 at 17:12 UTC
|
|
|
Nezumi
Asshole Admin
2005 Mar 27 • 826
175 ₧
|
The slender finger of a young woman SpaceX is developing a machine to simulate the slender finger of a young woman to prepare for a mission to Mars. Environmental tip: Save paper towels by wiping your hands on the slender finger of a young woman. Crap! I’ve gone and clogged the vacuum hose with the slender finger of a young woman. On this map of Boston, each dot represents the slender finger of a young woman. So I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected. It’s the slender finger of a young woman. Chris Angel hurled the deck of cards at the slender finger of a young woman and my card appeared on top! |
|
|
|
|
≡
|
Feb 14 at 04:02 UTC
|
|
|
|
