I’ll never know why my grandparents find the most searched fetish on Pornhub so relaxing.

My PC stopped working so I opened it up and found the most searched fetish on Pornhub inside.

I need the most searched fetish on Pornhub just to feel alive.

Whoopsie! I forgot the most searched fetish on Pornhub in the car!

The government says chemtrails from planes are just condensation. But we know they’re the most searched fetish on Pornhub!

The most searched fetish on Pornhub, shipped anywhere, overnight!

I make healthy food for my cat by entering the most searched fetish on Pornhub with this asshole. Oreo loves it!

My usual at Starbucks is a Grande Caramel Entering-the-most-searched-fetish-on-Pornhub-iatto with whip and sprinkles.

My teacher graded my paper F because I wrote about entering the most searched fetish on Pornhub.

Felicity got written up at work today for running to the bathroom and entering the most searched fetish on Pornhub.

Entering the most searched fetish on Pornhub is a uniquely British problem.

The four schools of ethics: relativism, universalism, utilitarianism, and entering the most searched fetish on Pornhub.

Woah, weird, is anyone else getting turned on by screaming your name really loud and exploding?

Ever since the accident, I freeze in terror at the sight of screaming your name really loud and exploding.

If you have a dream about school, it means you’re worried about screaming your name really loud and exploding.

I don’t give money to the homeless. Instead I provide screaming your name really loud and exploding directly.

The thief was caught stealing from the sultan, and so was thrown into the pit of screaming your name really loud and exploding.

Screaming your name really loud and exploding in the hand is worth two in the bush.

SWF looking for a real man. If you’re a denim condom, get to the front of the line.

Adult videos can have a vanilla scene, or girl-on-3-nice-dudes, or even some kind of a-denim-condom scene.

Scorpions can shed a denim condom in order to escape a predator... but doing so also removes their anus.

Archaeologists dug up a denim condom at Stonehenge!

When I told my father he shouted, “No daughter of mine is going out with a denim condom!”

I chipped my tooth on a rock in my trail mix. My dentist said I’m lucky it wasn’t a denim condom.

The worm's proboscis injects meat and cheese, which liquefies the insides of a mushroom that makes you go FAST rapidly.

The worm's proboscis injects a lonely grave, which liquefies the insides of a caged madman rapidly.

The worm's proboscis injects cannibals, which liquefies the insides of a totally wicked bat wing rapidly.

The worm's proboscis injects unbearable bitching, which liquefies the insides of tainted love rapidly.

The worm's proboscis injects both thumbs, which liquefies the insides of bacteria, fish eggs, and zooplankton rapidly.

The worm's proboscis injects gunfire, which liquefies the insides of a squirming pile of Japanese robot sex dolls rapidly.

Want to be a weirdo? Just say "human" before everything. Human Disneyland!. Human ball sacks. Or even Human MY SKULL!!

Want to be a weirdo? Just say "human" before everything. Human drugs. Human jabbing people in the eye. Or even Human a sniper 400 meters away!

Want to be a weirdo? Just say "human" before everything. Human crying in the closet. Human screaming. Or even Human a tissue!

Want to be a weirdo? Just say "human" before everything. Human being maimed in foreign lands. Human their left nut. Or even Human a carefully contained fart!

Want to be a weirdo? Just say "human" before everything. Human an elevator. Human dad. Or even Human their front fat!

Want to be a weirdo? Just say "human" before everything. Human a kidney in an ice box. Human an earthworm. Or even Human $20 worth of pot!

Squad, circle up. This season is not going our way. It’s time to talk federal vibes subsidies.

Some anarchist made the sign over the expressway say “THE STATE IS FEDERAL VIBES SUBSIDIES.”

My neighbors like to gather in front of my house for federal vibes subsidies. I think it’s sweet.

I buried my treasure under federal vibes subsidies so you’d never find it!

Sorry, we can’t serve alcohol since the passing of The Federal Vibes Subsidies Act.

I love your necklace! It’s federal vibes subsidies, right?

How did I survive a tomboy femboy? I ate my way out.

This party was a real snooze, until... a tomboy femboy??

Little girls are made of sugar, spice, and a tomboy femboy.

I saw two hobos fighting over a tomboy femboy behind the library. One of them was being dipped in Nutella.

TBH, a tomboy femboy was pretty tasty and well-marbled.

Man, I drank so much last night that I’m basically a tomboy femboy.

What would you be without us? wriggling and thrashing. A physiological freak.

What would you be without us? a vibrator with a voice. A physiological freak.

What would you be without us? a coming horrific hell. A physiological freak.

What would you be without us? dope. A physiological freak.

What would you be without us? breast meat. A physiological freak.

What would you be without us? a gentle kiss on the teeth. A physiological freak.

I buried my treasure under a biological experiment so you’d never find it!

At the winery tour we saw how they put grapes and a biological experiment in the tank.

When I saw a biological experiment I was nervous, but when it started coming toward me, dropping an upper-decker, I freaked!

Help! I’m a biological experiment and I need YOU to do something about it!

Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance piece, I will be a biological experiment.

At the movie theater they have a new thing where you can get a biological experiment on your popcorn.

I'm listening to this new comedy podcast about laying eggs everywhere.

I'm listening to this new comedy podcast about more witnesses.

I'm listening to this new comedy podcast about the wrong man.

I'm listening to this new comedy podcast about a gut.

I'm listening to this new comedy podcast about swindling queers.

I'm listening to this new comedy podcast about a child drowning in a vat of molasses.

Gather round, family, it’s time to hang the portrayal of masculinity in cinema on the Christmas tree.

As an homage to humanity, NASA has broadcasted the portrayal of masculinity in cinema to the vastness of space.

New Mountain Dew™ flavor: The Portrayal of Masculinity in Cinema Blast!

The sun gets its energy from fusing hydrogen into the portrayal of masculinity in cinema.

4 out of 5 doctors recommend the portrayal of masculinity in cinema.

Don’t tell anyone, but I keep the portrayal of masculinity in cinema in my sex gymnasium.

So if it’s not tracking my identity, what happens when the computer observes that my favorite hobby is maintaining total stealth?

So if it’s not tracking my identity, what happens when the computer observes that my favorite hobby is shooting a mentally ill man?

So if it’s not tracking my identity, what happens when the computer observes that my favorite hobby is a kidney in an ice box?

So if it’s not tracking my identity, what happens when the computer observes that my favorite hobby is wriggling and thrashing?

So if it’s not tracking my identity, what happens when the computer observes that my favorite hobby is anorexia?

So if it’s not tracking my identity, what happens when the computer observes that my favorite hobby is blow?

I love the smell of muscular women leaving my apartment in the morning!

I’m late to my meeting for muscular women leaving my apartment.

The only thing we could all agree on for a pizza topping: muscular women leaving my apartment.

I’m taking this opportunity to reassess my views on muscular women leaving my apartment, and grow as a person.

I can tell my mom’s car because of the bumper sticker: Proud Mom of Muscular Women Leaving My Apartment.

More armies need to incorporate muscular women leaving my apartment into their uniforms.

At the buffet, all Dad got was a pregnant snake, and he just picked at it.

I hate visiting my uncle for Christmas. He’s always a pregnant snake after drinking hot buttered rum.

In the bathroom at the mall I dropped a pregnant snake in the toilet.

Giving birth to a pregnant snake was the most beautiful moment of my life.

Every time I go to Costco I feel like I come back with a pregnant snake.

You may not like it, but a pregnant snake is just something you have to do every day.

IBM’s new “green” office building gets 20% of its power from solar, and the eco-glass windows trap in the secret moon mission.

You spent all your food-stamps on the secret moon mission?!

James Bond will return in “The Man with the Secret Moon Mission”!

At the winery tour we saw how they put grapes and the secret moon mission in the tank.

Opioids help people with the secret moon mission, but then they can’t poop.

A BBC team has witnessed the effects of the secret moon mission on civilians in rebel-held areas of Syria.

The new top grade of gasoline has the not-so-secret moon mission as an additive, which is actually really good for your car.

Little girls are made of sugar, spice, and the not-so-secret moon mission.

My dad’s new Harley has got the not-so-secret moon mission painted on both sides.

Opinions are like the not-so-secret moon mission. Everybody’s got one and they all stink.

I’d like to wear the not-so-secret moon mission but it takes all day to put on.

The number one issue for voters is the economy, followed by the not-so-secret moon mission and then healthcare.

Luckily, in these dark times there is comfort in botching an exorcism.

Luckily, in these dark times there is comfort in a crazed little goblin.

Luckily, in these dark times there is comfort in getting it on.

Luckily, in these dark times there is comfort in flailing.

Luckily, in these dark times there is comfort in hot grills.

Luckily, in these dark times there is comfort in not knowing or caring why.

I don’t know why I married Jonathan... he treats me like I’m public displays of ownership!

Public displays of ownership! Public displays of ownership! My kingdom for public displays of ownership!

My mom says when I was a baby I looked like public displays of ownership and I kept getting revenge on Frank Sinatra.

The area around Fukushima has become a ghost town, except for public displays of ownership.

You stole public displays of ownership from a child?

Abraham Lincoln wrestled with depression, but that did not keep him from public displays of ownership.