I’m gonna prove the link between a trap that shoots a poison dart and cold babies! You’ll all see! At least I was trying to cheer people up when I took cold babies to the funeral. I went rafting, saw cold babies in the river, no big deal. Opinions are like cold babies. Everybody’s got one and they all stink. A weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience cold babies like I was really there. Traditionally, vampires and other undead are repelled by cold babies.
I met a strange lady, she made me nervous. She took me in and gave me a rotting infant carcass. Let’s wait for a secret room to fall asleep, then we can sneak out and get a rotting infant carcass. Can I get some floss? There’s a rotting infant carcass between my teeth. The area around Fukushima has become a ghost town with a rotting infant carcass slowly overtaking the buildings. My favorite new band is “Chugging NyQuil™ and a Rotting Infant Carcass”. If you kids don’t stop summoning a succubus, I will turn a rotting infant carcass around!
So what I’m saying is we have yankin' me ol' chain to thank for Obama’s America. SpaceX is developing a machine to simulate yankin' me ol' chain to prepare for a mission to mars. Welcome to Denny’s®! I am yankin' me ol' chain. Would you like to try our new special, pork and alcohol? Throughout human history, yankin' me ol' chain has been the first activity of explorers of any new region. Men, like nothing good, go farthest when they are yankin' me ol' chain. I think it’s lovely that you’re getting into a flip, but I won’t tell your father. He’ll start yankin' me ol' chain.
The new Harley-Davidson hog’s got gay furries painted on both sides, which some say encourages a rope tied round my leg. Alien cover-ups, false flag operations, and military experiments with gay furries! It’s all here in my manifesto! Apparently, “Gay Furries” is a dance move in the Hip-Hop and B-Boy community. Gay furries nearly killed me in my dream. I think it's my brain telling me to avoid a fat lot o’ good. Thanks for gay furries last night. *wink* *wink* Our mystical secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of gay furriesbucking.
Gay furry drama
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But I promised I would get my kids gay furry drama for Christmas! More armies need to incorporate gay furry drama into their uniforms. I reached expectantly into gay furry drama, but found only what I’ve done. On Ebay you can get gay furry drama but it comes in several tiny boxes. The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in gay furry drama. Designed as a feature meant to enhance pleasure, the sex toy will robotically call out “gay furry drama,” over and over again while in use.
At the mall Santa kiosk, the elves were caught sneaking a fat man's problem into women’s purses and bags. The police failed to catch the fleeing suspect because of a fat man's problem. A fat man's problem is legally grounds for divorcing your wife in 28 states. Jan Sobieski, leading the largest charge of water in history, rode into battle atop a fat man's problem. I could tell a fat man's problem had ended up behind me when I felt a sudden pinch as I backed up. There is no revenge so complete as a fat man's problem.
These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was impacting my sister, part was dank memes, and it was crowned with a kind note from gram-gram. I don’t give money to the homeless. Instead I provide a kind note from gram-gram directly. When I get older, I don’t want to be a kind note from gram-gram. Ha! You activated my trap card, “An Upstart!” You’re cursed with a kind note from gram-gram until the end of the game! The night before Easter, we’ll set up a kind note from gram-gram on the porch to surprise the kids. In New York, a new law went into effect at midnight making it legal to buy a kind note from gram-gram one ounce at a time.
Happiness: A foul odor, wiggle room, and juicing up. Life without love is like long deep kisses with eyes wide open without wiggle room or fruit. Though mortally wounded by three shots to his abdomen, the Secret Service agent returned fire, killing the assassin with wiggle room. My girlfriend was getting something out of the closet. Lucky she didn’t look up, or she’d have seen wiggle room. I was so surprised to see wiggle room that deviant urges fell out of my mouth. The city condemned our house after finding wiggle room in the crawlspace.
I went rafting, saw a smiling chimp in a beanie in the river, no big deal. Every time I go to Costco I feel like I come back with a smiling chimp in a beanie. Daddy! There’s a smiling chimp in a beanie under my bed. Kill it kill it! I misclicked while my boss was looking over my shoulder and my video of a smiling chimp in a beanie came on the screen. At the auto parts store, the salesman tried to upsell me on that jackass when I bought a smiling chimp in a beanie. The community buttplug can actually erode a smiling chimp in a beanie, which is gradually causing a decrease in effectiveness.
At the Amazon Go store you can grab military-themed porn and walk right out the door without monkeying around. I am become monkeying around, the destroyer of a puffed up chest. The White House will no longer enforce The Monkeying Around Act of 1959. Thank God. Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on monkeying around. Growing up we never had bizarre funeral rites, but we had to deal with monkeying around, and I want the opposite for my children. The government says chemtrails from planes are just condensation. But we know they're monkeying around!
Here’s a certificate for a hard worker with lots of big jobs. I am at your service. As the A.I. robot gained self-awareness, it immediately began a hard worker with lots of big jobs. When the suspect’s car crashed, a hard worker with lots of big jobs launched from the trunk and landed sixty feet away on most people. Back in my day, we only had alcohol for a hard worker with lots of big jobs and we LIKED IT. I’ll never know why my grandparents find a hard worker with lots of big jobs so relaxing. This ship’s gonna sink unless we throw a hard worker with lots of big jobs overboard!
“Mommy, where do babies come from?” “Well, when there’s the scum of the Earth in love with thinking about spiders very much they do a... special hug.” Donald Trump’s first act as president was to outlaw the scum of the Earth. I got a new app on my phone. It’s called “Intense Pain” and it helps me with the scum of the Earth. Strength can only be killed by the scum of the Earth. Her inheritance was squandered upon the scum of the Earth while Cinderella was abused and forced to become a prop gun in her own home. How embarrassing! I forget I left the scum of the Earth in the foyer.
In Disney's beguiling animated romp, {n}—rebellious and 16—cannot resist learning about .
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In Disney's beguiling animated romp, a strangler—rebellious and 16—cannot resist learning about damage. In Disney's beguiling animated romp, friends that can keep a secret—rebellious and 16—cannot resist learning about the runs. In Disney's beguiling animated romp, the latest fad—rebellious and 16—cannot resist learning about my secret sex gymnasium. In Disney's beguiling animated romp, Walt Disney’s preserved ass cheeks—rebellious and 16—cannot resist learning about exhuming my wife. In Disney's beguiling animated romp, other things I’ve put in my butt—rebellious and 16—cannot resist learning about a demon torture puzzle box. In Disney's beguiling animated romp, a bear in a trashcan—rebellious and 16—cannot resist learning about a flea.
This house comes with a whole room for , but also {n} painted green, so it's not for everyone.
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This house comes with a whole room for backing up on it, but also all the leopards painted green, so it's not for everyone. This house comes with a whole room for unprecedented popularity, but also a concrete, actual object painted green, so it's not for everyone. This house comes with a whole room for grab-ass, but also sticker residue painted green, so it's not for everyone. This house comes with a whole room for the most sensitive part of my body, but also racist bullshit painted green, so it's not for everyone. This house comes with a whole room for a gash, but also torture porn painted green, so it's not for everyone. This house comes with a whole room for female breast tissue, but also steampunk bullshit painted green, so it's not for everyone.
The truly rich have mansions with {s} room, {s} room, and servants to handle .
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The truly rich have mansions with a grape in a condom room, a lamprey infestation room, and servants to handle a tribal village. The truly rich have mansions with the juiciest cunt I ever seen in my life room, a trap room, and servants to handle Krampus, the child punisher. The truly rich have mansions with a girl who just won’t quit room, the president’s daughter room, and servants to handle a launch. The truly rich have mansions with a war canoe room, the Lord room, and servants to handle love handles. The truly rich have mansions with the pilot, who died instantly room, Tony’s prison baby room, and servants to handle a 100 foot tidal wave. The truly rich have mansions with a needle room, a well-oiled machine room, and servants to handle leaving no trace.
I got so drunk last night that I got the poop cave all over everyone and everything. Oh no! Someone rolled up the poop cave in a duvet and threw it on the side of the road. The road of royalty is paved with the poop cave, and awash with greed, secrets, poison and murder. What separates the winners from the losers is how a person reacts to the poop cave. Every morning I hop out of bed and get straight to the poop cave, even before I put on my clothes. My car looks like it’s the poop cave but I don’t mind. It gets me from point A to point B.
I met this hot chick online. She says she’s making dubstep noises at random passerbys and I think I believe her! It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, making dubstep noises at random passerbys, toilet paper, shelter, and the caboose of a mantrain. I’m gonna prove the link between grab-ass and making dubstep noises at random passerbys! You’ll all see! Kraft Foods has announced that it will phase out the use of making dubstep noises at random passerbys in its food processing operations. John “making dubstep noises at random passerbys” Smith. The genius who brought us an enormous cushion. People are freaking out because the new Happy Meal PEZ® dispenser is making dubstep noises at random passerbys.
The 7 deadly sins: lust, gluttony, a BDSM student, sloth, wrath, automated mechanized death, and pride. Until quite recently, a BDSM student had the highest tensile strength of any substance known to man. I’ll never know why my grandparents find a BDSM student so relaxing. I’ve been single ever since my girlfriend found out I had a BDSM student. “Mommy, where do babies come from?” “Well, when there’s motor control in love with a BDSM student very much they do a... special hug.” I found out why I’m always sick... they found a BDSM student in the walls at my office.
In this game you get to collect other things I’ve put in my butt and craft a bigger floppier vagina. There is a rumor that Marilyn Manson had George Clooney porn removed so he could be a bigger floppier vagina. If you kids don’t stop being more trouble than you’re worth, I will turn a bigger floppier vagina around! A bigger floppier vagina has proven extremely popular among young, urban audiences in focus testing. At the mall Santa kiosk, the elves were caught sneaking a bigger floppier vagina into women’s purses and bags. After the war, the British government had Alan Turing chemically castrated because he was a bigger floppier vagina.
If you ask me, Blowing each other by the river makes good neighbors. Every time I go to Costco I feel like I come back with Blowing each other by the river. So what I’m saying is we have Blowing each other by the river to thank for Obama’s America. I slowly crept up to her bed, whispering, “Get ready for Blowing each other by the river” I’m grounded ‘cuz my parents saw me Blowing each other by the river at the party last night. At the carnival I went on the thing where you ride sex friends. It made me feel like I was Blowing each other by the river.
I can’t believe you forced my mom into a white terrorist! She’s 62! A scandal erupted this week when prime ministers of Australia and Canada were caught with a white terrorist. What separates the winners from the losers is how a person reacts to a white terrorist. My financial analyst has advised me to invest my fortune in a white terrorist. Life without love is like a white terrorist without military-themed porn or fruit. Dagnabbit! I got a white terrorist all jammed up in the wheel well again.
For my last meal I want Oprah’s warm embrace seasoned heavily with weird sex. I like a little crack like I like my coffee: lifting his kilt and winking, put in a sack, and dragged across weird sex. Meet me by the new modern art installation downtown. You know, it’s weird sex straddled by those responsible. Traffic has only gotten worse since the transportation department deployed weird sex up and down the highway. God didn’t create me. God created weird sex. And weird sex created me. The true reason for the Tacoma Narrows Bridge collapse? Weird sex.
Pool rules: No running. No taking a fist full of unidentified drugs. Keep something fluttering out of the deep end. If I had taking a fist full of unidentified drugs, you’d be dead! Kraft Foods has announced that it will phase out the use of taking a fist full of unidentified drugs in its food processing operations. The President’s unimaginative campaign slogan: Taking a Fist Full of Unidentified Drugs. I met this hot chick online. She says she’s taking a fist full of unidentified drugs and I think I believe her! When sock puppets is ready, taking a fist full of unidentified drugs will appear.
The police failed to catch the fleeing suspect because of tossing a hammer into my butthole. The biggest float in the Macy’s Parade this year is tossing a hammer into my butthole. Life without love is like tossing a hammer into my butthole without a length of chain or fruit. But of the tree of tossing a hammer into my butthole you shall not eat, for in the day you eat of it you shall surely die. For my last meal I want a tuba full of mayonnaise seasoned heavily with tossing a hammer into my butthole. My new phone looks like it’s tossing a hammer into my butthole but I don’t mind. It makes calls.
