SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

General — Page [1] 2 3 4 ... 110 111 112
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6629
Go!
 
 
 
2015 Dec 30 at 19:18 PST — Ed. 2019 Jan 11 at 11:24 PST
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 280
A bikini clad load

A BBC team has witnessed the devastating effects of a bikini clad load on civilians in rebel-held areas of Syria.
A woman is like a teabag. You can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in a bikini clad load.
McDonald’s combo menu #3: Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a large Coke, and a side of a bikini clad load.
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served my family nothing but a bikini clad load.
The doctor held up my x-ray and I could just make out a bikini clad load.
The best comfort food will always be greens, a bikini clad load, and fried chicken.


A land based water beast

Leopards are smaller than most of the Panthera genus, but they are able to take large prey due to a land based water beast.
nothing but the truth brings a land based water beast and a smile to a child’s face.
Help! I can’t find my daughter! She looks like a land based water beast and is carrying aiming for the open spots.
After last week’s stunning victory, the wrestler earned his nickname “a land based water beast
I buried my treasure under a land based water beast so you’d never find it!
a land based water beast: The President’s unimaginative campaign slogan.


 
 
 
2015 Dec 31 at 01:19 PST
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 701
11 ₧
WHITE CARDS

A single human girl living in an all pidgin world

In protest, Gandhi swore to abstain from a single human girl living in an all pidgin world.
The three techniques of Sumo Wrestling: tunneling around, a single human girl living in an all pidgin world and a state trooper.
I’m finally sisters with a single human girl living in an all pidgin world!
Aww! My mom packed a terrible lunch: a serious scuffle and a single human girl living in an all pidgin world.
Ha! You activated my trap card, “a single human girl living in an all pidgin world!” You’re cursed with investigating crimes and making arrests until the end of the game!
Men, like a single human girl living in an all pidgin world, go farthest when they are smoothest.



A choir of angry vaginas all yelling at each other while bleeding

You can’t get a choir of angry vaginas all yelling at each other while bleeding big enough or a falling tree long enough to suit me.
This ship’s gonna sink unless we throw a choir of angry vaginas all yelling at each other while bleeding overboard!
USGS seismologist Lucy Jones said the 5.1 quake has a 5% chance of being a choir of angry vaginas all yelling at each other while bleeding.
When a person has a choir of angry vaginas all yelling at each other while bleeding, sometimes their mind clicks that this thing will win arguments and straighten people out.
At the carnival I went on the thing where you ride a choir of angry vaginas all yelling at each other while bleeding. It made me feel like I was what we asked for.
I reached expectantly into a quirky, vegan CEO, but found only a choir of angry vaginas all yelling at each other while bleeding.



Winking angrily

Ich bin ein winking angrily.
Early rugby’s rules: carry the ball as the whole sick crew, score points by cranberry sauce or juice, and winking angrily shall not be on the field.
I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by winking angrily.
When he reached the New World, Cortés burned winking angrily. As a result, his men were well motivated.
Sir, you have a phone call. Something about winking angrily?
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into winking angrily. It was not my lips you kissed, but wearing the bones of the dead.



My "4 out of 10" wife

At my 9th birthday, we had My "4 out of 10" wife piñata that burst open showering lacerations on us kids.
Class, turn to page 100 and start reading “My "4 out of 10" wife”.
My daughter came home crying because the kids at school said she was My "4 out of 10" wife.
God didn’t create me. God created My "4 out of 10" wife. And My "4 out of 10" wife created me.
I’m having a picnic no one will forget! Bring My "4 out of 10" wife.
My house. 8 o’clock. My "4 out of 10" wife.



Pining for the children you'll never have

Damn it! I got pining for the children you'll never have jammed in the wheel well again.
More than 260 people were injured by festive firecracker blasts and pining for the children you'll never have in the Philippines.
Dear diary, today I went into the city and saw pining for the children you'll never have for the first time!
In this 15th century painting, pining for the children you'll never have is represented by a man with blocking the exit for a head.
Meet me by the new modern art installation downtown. You know, it’s a child drowning in a vat of molasses straddled by pining for the children you'll never have.
The name for Idaho was derived from a Shoshone language term meaning “pining for the children you'll never have.”



Being anti-visible

I tried to sneak out of the store with a vast understatement under one arm and being anti-visible down my pants.
You put being anti-visible back right now, young man, you’ve already had yours!
The rich aroma of being anti-visible, from the hills of Columbia.
Experts said that based on preliminary data, being anti-visible appears to have occurred on the Puente Hills thrust fault.
The unofficial symbol of the United States is being anti-visible.
When the research team activated the interdimensional portal, being anti-visible emerged.



The inverted retreat technique

He also named a city in India “the inverted retreat technique” after his dead horse.
I like my women like I like the inverted retreat technique: with Oprah’s audience.
That’s not funny. My dad was killed by the inverted retreat technique.
Jesus is the inverted retreat technique.
Leopards are smaller than most of the Panthera genus, but they are able to take large prey due to the inverted retreat technique.
One has to secrete a jelly in which to slip the inverted retreat technique down people’s throats - and one always secretes too much jelly.



Putting yourself in small amounts of danger

But of the tree of knowledge of putting yourself in small amounts of danger and laughing with a mouth full of firecrackers you shall not eat, for in the day you eat of it you shall surely die.
Apparently, “putting yourself in small amounts of danger” is a dance move in the Hip-Hop and B-Boy community.
The new summer blockbuster targeted at tweens features a girl with putting yourself in small amounts of danger and a mysterious boy who fights a wish granting goblin.
After 6 grueling years, my partner and I have created putting yourself in small amounts of danger.
I buried my treasure under putting yourself in small amounts of danger so you’d never find it!
A scandal erupted this week when prime ministers of Australia and Canada were caught with putting yourself in small amounts of danger.



One of your always offline MMOs

Everything I need to live on a desert island: one of your always offline MMOs with landlubbers.
Driving late at night, I was horrified to find one of your always offline MMOs in the back seat.
When I told my father he shouted, “No daughter of mine is going out with one of your always offline MMOs!”
Let one of your always offline MMOs host your next party, providing anything on the face of this earth like you’ve never seen before.
During routine surgery, the doctors found one of your always offline MMOs embedded in my abdomen.
You’ve got to come see the baby, it’s as cute as one of your always offline MMOs.



War-fighting

I’m late to my meeting for war-fighting.
I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then war-fighting really affected me.
A social skill is any skill facilitating war-fighting and not taking care of your body with others.
war-fighting: The President’s unimaginative campaign slogan.
You evaded my “war-fighting” attack! Most impressive.
After last week’s stunning victory, the wrestler earned his nickname “war-fighting



Left-right mobilization cycling

On my wedding night my father told me, “Don’t go chasing Left-right mobilization cycling.”
Hark! What Left-right mobilization cycling through yonder window breaks?
Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on Left-right mobilization cycling.
I’m undergoing immersion therapy by continually exposing myself to Left-right mobilization cycling.
It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, Left-right mobilization cycling, toilet paper, shelter, and a pack of smokes.
A BBC team has witnessed the devastating effects of Left-right mobilization cycling on civilians in rebel-held areas of Syria.



Nonresident aliens

In future times, the children will work together to build nonresident aliens.
Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value nonresident aliens more. Now hold still.
The thief was caught stealing finding out my first husband was still alive from the sultan, and so was thrown into the pit of nonresident aliens.
McDonald’s combo menu #3: Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a large Coke, and a side of nonresident aliens.
Authorities were tallying damage from nonresident aliens that struck southern California Friday evening.
Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with nonresident aliens.



Not taking the dick

Welcome to the neighborhood! I live in not taking the dick across the street.
Our mystical secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of not taking the dick and a period.
The new bill before congress would mandate not taking the dick and provide subsidies for a strawberry-dumping hussy.
CAUTION: Keep not taking the dick out of hopper and chute opening. Failure to comply risks personal injury.
A woman is like a teabag. You can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in not taking the dick.
See now black people walk like curious, probing tendrils. But white people -- white people walk like they’re not taking the dick!



Necrotizing battle-fright

Chimps in the wild have been observed using necrotizing battle-fright to forage for food.
The TSA has made new rules mandating necrotizing battle-fright on every commercial flight.
You remind me of necrotizing battle-fright because you are always a gush to me.
Squad, circle up. It’s time to talk necrotizing battle-fright.
An FBI raid on Michael Eisner’s seaside villa turned up necrotizing battle-fright in every room.
Help! I can’t find my daughter! She looks like necrotizing battle-fright and is carrying a bandsaw.



An inside outside job

Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider an inside outside job.
Bumper sticker: My other ride is an inside outside job.
This is my second kid. My first one came out as an inside outside job.
I surreptitiously crawled into bed, only to find an inside outside job.
Happiness: a royal fleet of galleys, getting excited and throwing yourself in the mantrap, and an inside outside job.
Jan Sobieski, leading the largest cavalry charge in history, rode into battle atop an inside outside job.



Doing experiments on science beings

There is no “I” in “team” but there is an “I” in “doing experiments on science beings”.
If doing experiments on science beings were in the Olympics, Finland would be in great shape!
“You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember doing experiments on science beings?”
A lifetime of doing experiments on science beings awaits. Call now for a free consultation.
The first item of evidence in The People vs. doing experiments on science beings is what I should have said.
Go, go, Gadget doing experiments on science beings!




BLACK CARDS

To bad I wrote the book on _____, asshole!

To bad I wrote the book on Grandma’s ghost, asshole!
To bad I wrote the book on customs, asshole!
To bad I wrote the book on a double-meat pizza, asshole!
To bad I wrote the book on PTSD, asshole!
To bad I wrote the book on unknown assailants, asshole!
To bad I wrote the book on a demon torture puzzle box, asshole!



I've got a master's degree in _____.

I've got a master's degree in a flimsy pterodactyl.
I've got a master's degree in habanero salsa.
I've got a master's degree in royal authority.
I've got a master's degree in sharp claws.
I've got a master's degree in curious bisexuals.
I've got a master's degree in a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug.



That's what makes this a thinking-man's game. Because _____ isn't for stupid people.

That's what makes this a thinking-man's game. Because the real adversary isn't for stupid people.
That's what makes this a thinking-man's game. Because innocent women and children isn't for stupid people.
That's what makes this a thinking-man's game. Because valid reasoning isn't for stupid people.
That's what makes this a thinking-man's game. Because a weak little person isn't for stupid people.
That's what makes this a thinking-man's game. Because acting like a child isn't for stupid people.
That's what makes this a thinking-man's game. Because adult language isn't for stupid people.



Jesus, its like _____ in here.

Jesus, its like solutions in here.
Jesus, its like a well-rehearsed lie in here.
Jesus, its like the uncooperative dead in here.
Jesus, its like concerning news in here.
Jesus, its like novelty gag dildo in here.
Jesus, its like unneeded bulk in here.



Why don't you try _____ first.

Why don't you try a violent episode first.
Why don't you try a coming horrific hell first.
Why don't you try Katy Perry’s kitty, Kitty Purry first.
Why don't you try a prepaid Visa™ first.
Why don't you try a deep cut first.
Why don't you try a yappy little dog first.



_____, man's last bastion in a world gone mad.

laughing along but crying inside, man's last bastion in a world gone mad.
a lump in the blanket, man's last bastion in a world gone mad.
an entity in death, man's last bastion in a world gone mad.
drool drops, man's last bastion in a world gone mad.
pity, man's last bastion in a world gone mad.
a sly fox, man's last bastion in a world gone mad.



Ah, finally a dance I'm familiar with. Its called _____.

Ah, finally a dance I'm familiar with. Its called a thorough examination.
Ah, finally a dance I'm familiar with. Its called horsing around.
Ah, finally a dance I'm familiar with. Its called a difficult Canadian.
Ah, finally a dance I'm familiar with. Its called a moon rock shaped like a butt.
Ah, finally a dance I'm familiar with. Its called precious ambergris.
Ah, finally a dance I'm familiar with. Its called Saint Dracula’s cathedral.



First thing you've got to know about _____ is shit no one cares about.

First thing you've got to know about not a bear is shit no one cares about.
First thing you've got to know about a small angry cloud is shit no one cares about.
First thing you've got to know about due time is shit no one cares about.
First thing you've got to know about journeying to far-off lands is shit no one cares about.
First thing you've got to know about an exhumed corpse is shit no one cares about.
First thing you've got to know about this very night is shit no one cares about.



Lock and load. The 13 colonies are under attack by _____.

Lock and load. The 13 colonies are under attack by a pill for every problem.
Lock and load. The 13 colonies are under attack by feminine hygiene products.
Lock and load. The 13 colonies are under attack by a bag of duck vaginas.
Lock and load. The 13 colonies are under attack by a burned out wasteland.
Lock and load. The 13 colonies are under attack by caressing a face.
Lock and load. The 13 colonies are under attack by a strap-on.



The 13 colonies were founded on the principles of liberty, brotherhood, and _____.

The 13 colonies were founded on the principles of liberty, brotherhood, and doubting its validity.
The 13 colonies were founded on the principles of liberty, brotherhood, and camaraderie and shenanigans.
The 13 colonies were founded on the principles of liberty, brotherhood, and the associated risks.
The 13 colonies were founded on the principles of liberty, brotherhood, and runny soup.
The 13 colonies were founded on the principles of liberty, brotherhood, and a madhouse! A madhouse!.
The 13 colonies were founded on the principles of liberty, brotherhood, and Princess Perfect.




PLAY TWO


In this game you get to collect _____ and shoot _____.2

In this game you get to collect learning an important lesson and shoot a happy accident.
In this game you get to collect thinness and shoot the thin veneer of causality that underlies porn.
In this game you get to collect a savvy entrepreneur and shoot A urologist.
In this game you get to collect a tickle and shoot total collapse.
In this game you get to collect sex toy directions and shoot a barbecued meal worm.
In this game you get to collect hounding the family dog and shoot yoga farts.



_1__, yes. __2_ yes. __1_ make the best __2_.

We did not say this was _____! We said this was_____!2

We did not say this was infinite sausage! We said this wasa reception area for social events!
We did not say this was things that aren’t intelligible! We said this wasa pig in the middle!
We did not say this was the reason this happened! We said this wasa large abscess!
We did not say this was the majestic Humboldt squid! We said this wascrab stuffing!
We did not say this was a pig chute! We said this wasturmoil!
We did not say this was forgetting about the whole universe! We said this wasbitches on the love throne!


What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
 
2015 Dec 31 at 14:34 PST — Ed. 2016 Mar 4 at 14:56 PST
fedex _

2009 Mar 23 • 909
13 ₧
And here we go.
melloyellow582 said:
I post sometimes, to make a point.
 
 
 
2016 Jan 2 at 21:18 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6629
_____ for sustenance is a legal right for many indigenous peoples, at least in my state.

feeling manful for sustenance is a legal right for many indigenous peoples, at least in my state.
unbearable bitching for sustenance is a legal right for many indigenous peoples, at least in my state.
the first blush of womanhood for sustenance is a legal right for many indigenous peoples, at least in my state.
a cascade of molten lava upon the unsuspecting for sustenance is a legal right for many indigenous peoples, at least in my state.
violent docking, coming in hard for sustenance is a legal right for many indigenous peoples, at least in my state.
a feather boa for sustenance is a legal right for many indigenous peoples, at least in my state.

 
 
 
2016 Jan 5 at 13:04 PST — Ed. 2016 Feb 21 at 19:25 PST
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 780
175 ₧
Killing myself, rather than being disgraced

Howdy neighbor, love an earthworm! Let’s get killing myself, rather than being disgraced sometime!
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served my family nothing but killing myself, rather than being disgraced.
The thief was caught stealing killing myself, rather than being disgraced from the sultan, and so was thrown into the pit of inhabitants.
You evaded my “killing myself, rather than being disgraced” attack! Most impressive.
Outrageous new comedy: 2 best friends and killing myself, rather than being disgraced take a road trip, and discover a rogue macaroni along the way.
Men, like killing myself, rather than being disgraced, go farthest when they are smoothest.


Being cooked and eaten

The only way to make sense out of being cooked and eaten is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.
These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was heavy garbage, part was being cooked and eaten, and it was crowned with a crudely-drawn dick.
The first item of evidence in The People vs. foaming, not at the mouth is being cooked and eaten.
When a person has being cooked and eaten, sometimes their mind clicks that this thing will win arguments and straighten people out.
When I told my doctor I couldn’t afford an operation, he offered being cooked and eaten operation.
When I told my father he shouted, “No daughter of mine is going out with being cooked and eaten!”

 
 
 
2016 Jan 8 at 01:11 PST
Signa
2013 Dec 28 • 186
If I see another _____ I'll _____2

If I see another the mud pits I'll palace after palace
If I see another an angry penis for the woman I'll a vortex that keeps mumbling
If I see another an electron sex party I'll attacking everything in your path
If I see another chicken sashimi I'll hounding the family dog
If I see another swindling queers I'll laughing and lying
If I see another black magic orgasms I'll untameable wildlings


Play 2
 
 
 
2016 Jan 8 at 22:30 PST
phoenix_r

2009 May 13 • 905
17 ₧
_____ is grounds for divorce in 28 states.

besting is grounds for divorce in 28 states.
Mandelbrot pornography is grounds for divorce in 28 states.
a dog head is grounds for divorce in 28 states.
#1 Dad is grounds for divorce in 28 states.
a crap-shoot is grounds for divorce in 28 states.
neglecting a spike is grounds for divorce in 28 states.

BOO
 
 
 
2016 Jan 8 at 22:52 PST
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 280
A harrowing escape from the womb

You remind me of a harrowing escape from the womb because you are always Satan’s mother to me.
a harrowing escape from the womb”: A new sport for boys and girls.
New extreme Mountain Dew™ flavor: a harrowing escape from the womb Blast!
He also named a city in India “a harrowing escape from the womb” after his dead horse.
a harrowing escape from the womb makes good neighbors.
Driving late at night, I was horrified to find a harrowing escape from the womb in the back seat.



Wearing a sleeping brony

Science never solves a problem without creating wearing a sleeping brony.
There is no “I” in “team” but there is an “I” in “wearing a sleeping brony”.
I tried to sneak out of the store with a hand grenade in my cereal under one arm and wearing a sleeping brony down my pants.
The first item of evidence in The People vs. wearing a sleeping brony is a bereaved wife with nothing to lose.
I met a strange lady, she made me nervous. She took me in and gave me wearing a sleeping brony.
This ship’s gonna sink unless we throw wearing a sleeping brony overboard!



Three babies in a backpack

Can I get some floss? There’s three babies in a backpack between my teeth.
If you don’t stop three babies in a backpack, I’ll load you on my catapult and fire you into a piece of lint near my vagina!
I wasn’t always black... there was three babies in a backpack, and it got bigger and bigger.
Jesus is three babies in a backpack.
The city condemned our house after finding three babies in a backpack in the crawlspace.
Experts said that based on preliminary data, three babies in a backpack appears to have occurred on the Puente Hills thrust fault.

 
 
 
2016 Jan 9 at 08:50 PST — Ed. 2016 Jan 9 at 11:00 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6629
A lab-grown testicle for a wounded soldier

Class, turn to page 100 and start reading “a lab-grown testicle for a wounded soldier”.
A woman is like a teabag. You can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in a lab-grown testicle for a wounded soldier.
The new self-help fad: Better Living Through a lab-grown testicle for a wounded soldier!
This is my second kid. My first one came out as a lab-grown testicle for a wounded soldier.
In this 15th century painting, a syringe of Tabasco is represented by a man with a lab-grown testicle for a wounded soldier for a head.
Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with a lab-grown testicle for a wounded soldier.

 
 
 
2016 Jan 10 at 18:35 PST — Ed. 2016 Feb 21 at 19:27 PST
Signa
2013 Dec 28 • 186
A zany flesh-light mascot

When the beef came at me it was like a zany flesh-light mascot.
A scandal erupted this week when prime ministers of Australia and Canada were caught with a zany flesh-light mascot.
A lifetime of a zany flesh-light mascot awaits. Call now for a free consultation.
Sir, you have a phone call. Something about a zany flesh-light mascot?
Our mystical secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of evil thinking and a zany flesh-light mascot.
You evaded my “a zany flesh-light mascot” attack! Most impressive.

 
 
 
2016 Jan 13 at 00:29 PST
Signa
2013 Dec 28 • 186
Another one from my gum wrapper

I wish I was more _____

I wish I was more a makeshift defensive structure
I wish I was more no record of their death
I wish I was more success
I wish I was more a dust cloud
I wish I was more a willful misdeed
I wish I was more bodily fluids

 
 
 
2016 Jan 13 at 22:06 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4938
1,227 ₧
Although moving away from _____ proved effective for schools, switching to _____ initially led to a spike of hospitalization in children.2

Although moving away from hands-free massage proved effective for schools, switching to a real jerk-off initially led to a spike of hospitalization in children.
Although moving away from a ghoulish feast proved effective for schools, switching to a good thing for the heart initially led to a spike of hospitalization in children.
Although moving away from a cataclysmic magic spell proved effective for schools, switching to a breach of confidence initially led to a spike of hospitalization in children.
Although moving away from yanking hard proved effective for schools, switching to a molecule initially led to a spike of hospitalization in children.
Although moving away from the real adversary proved effective for schools, switching to insipid fools initially led to a spike of hospitalization in children.
Although moving away from a garbage truck proved effective for schools, switching to fart jokes and naughty cave paintings initially led to a spike of hospitalization in children.

 
 
 
2016 Jan 18 at 17:58 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4938
1,227 ₧
One single big one

Every French soldier carries one single big one in his knapsack.
When I told my father he shouted, “No daughter of mine is going out with one single big one!”
I am become one single big one, the destroyer of worlds.
I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then one single big one really affected me.
In future times, the children will work together to build one single big one.
one single big one! one single big one! My kingdom for one single big one!



This tested extremely well.
 
 
 
2016 Jan 25 at 01:07 PST
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 780
175 ₧
Lewd acts in public

I came home to find lewd acts in public replaced with arthouse films about transexuals.
Ha! You activated my trap card, “lewd acts in public!” You’re cursed with David Bowie, the ultimate Moon Lord until the end of the game!
My house. 8 o’clock. lewd acts in public.
lewd acts in public is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
lewd acts in public... like a woman’s.
I am become lewd acts in public, the destroyer of worlds.

 
 
 
2016 Jan 26 at 21:35 PST
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 701
11 ₧
WHITE CARDS

A bunch of wires going into a statue of a woman

I’m late to my meeting for A bunch of wires going into a statue of a woman.
Then God said, “Let there be A bunch of wires going into a statue of a woman”; and there was A bunch of wires going into a statue of a woman. And God saw that A bunch of wires going into a statue of a woman was good.
When I told my doctor I couldn’t afford an operation, he offered A bunch of wires going into a statue of a woman operation.
Single white female seeking long term relationship, if you’re into A bunch of wires going into a statue of a woman, get to the front of the line.
A woman is like a teabag. You can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in A bunch of wires going into a statue of a woman.
In New York, a new law went into effect at midnight making it legal to buy an ounce of A bunch of wires going into a statue of a woman at a time.



An aerodynamic adventure

I met a strange lady, she made me nervous. She took me in and gave me An aerodynamic adventure.
Don’t email me at work! Email me at my personal address: An aerodynamic adventure@one thousand scorpions.net
In Brea several people suffered minor injuries during An aerodynamic adventure that overturned their car.
It has been prophesied that the young king will eventually be killed by An aerodynamic adventure.
Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value An aerodynamic adventure more. Now hold still.
At the new Asian-inspired restaurant downtown, the chef will prepare An aerodynamic adventure right at your table.



William Shakespeare’s classic story: “The taming of the woman who’s a total bitch”

Give a man the last condom and you feed him for a day. Give him William Shakespeare’s classic story: “The taming of the woman who’s a total bitch”, and you feed him for a lifetime.
I tried to sneak out of the store with William Shakespeare’s classic story: “The taming of the woman who’s a total bitch” under one arm and a human tooth necklace down my pants.
Life without love is like William Shakespeare’s classic story: “The taming of the woman who’s a total bitch” without maximum bitch mode or fruit.
What’s in the fridge? Soda, OJ, William Shakespeare’s classic story: “The taming of the woman who’s a total bitch”... Sweet! Sunny-D!
Amtrak officials confirm William Shakespeare’s classic story: “The taming of the woman who’s a total bitch” would have prevented train derailment.
The first item of evidence in The People vs. William Shakespeare’s classic story: “The taming of the woman who’s a total bitch” is tiny uranium rods.



A discarded woman

That’s not funny. My dad was killed by A discarded woman.
Driving late at night, I was horrified to find A discarded woman in the back seat.
Oh dear God! That was the last of my medication for “A discarded woman” syndrome!
One has to secrete a jelly in which to slip A discarded woman down people’s throats - and one always secretes too much jelly.
How embarrassing! I forget I left A discarded woman in the foyer.
You remind me of A discarded woman because you are always a robustly satisfying fart to me.



Danger tickling

This ship’s gonna sink unless we throw Danger tickling overboard!
If Danger tickling were in the Olympics, Finland would be in great shape!
Jesus is Danger tickling.
CAUTION: Keep Danger tickling out of hopper and chute opening. Failure to comply risks personal injury.
And before I let your steam drill beat me down, I’ll die with Danger tickling in my hand.
I came home to find just the thing replaced with Danger tickling.



All that boot-scooting

I got a new app on my phone. It’s called “All that boot-scooting” and it helps me with door hinges, nails and chopped up horseshoes.
Everything I need to live on a desert island: a happy accident with All that boot-scooting.
When he reached the New World, Cortés burned All that boot-scooting. As a result, his men were well motivated.
Early rugby’s rules: carry the ball as a good strategy, score points by All that boot-scooting, and a leak shall not be on the field.
Authorities were tallying damage from All that boot-scooting that struck southern California Friday evening.
All that boot-scooting: It’s nature’s candy!



Them tall tits

Work on the Taft bridge ground to a halt, due to the union’s demands for Them tall tits.
The only way to make sense out of Them tall tits is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.
When the research team activated the interdimensional portal, Them tall tits emerged.
The new hit reality show: Can You Swallow Them tall tits?
I went to cut the cake, and to my delight, Them tall tits popped out!
Tomorrow the city is throwing a ticker-tape to celebrate Them tall tits.



A tall ass

Kirkland mom makes $20,000 a week with A tall ass.
Ha! You activated my trap card, “tiny men!” You’re cursed with A tall ass until the end of the game!
In the end, the obvious plot twist was that the serial killer was actually A tall ass.
The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in A tall ass.
I’m having a picnic no one will forget! Bring A tall ass.
Sir, you have a phone call. Something about A tall ass?



The shins of a Clydesdale

I want to say one word to you, just one word: The shins of a Clydesdale.
The best comfort food will always be greens, The shins of a Clydesdale, and fried chicken.
My religion demands that I must always have a wise old age, and that I must abstain from The shins of a Clydesdale.
Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider The shins of a Clydesdale.
A lifetime of The shins of a Clydesdale awaits. Call now for a free consultation.
Leopards are smaller than most of the Panthera genus, but they are able to take large prey due to The shins of a Clydesdale.




BLACK CARDS

Thanks for _____. Now get out of my bed!

Thanks for casualties. Now get out of my bed!
Thanks for customs. Now get out of my bed!
Thanks for sloppier thirds. Now get out of my bed!
Thanks for favorable terrain. Now get out of my bed!
Thanks for doing it RIGHT this time!. Now get out of my bed!
Thanks for a mass of lymphatic tissue. Now get out of my bed!



“Who does _____belong to?” “To God”, says the man in the Vatican.

“Who does a tiny bat crawling up your peeholebelong to?” “To God”, says the man in the Vatican.
“Who does curling up in the landing gearbelong to?” “To God”, says the man in the Vatican.
“Who does a truck full of laddersbelong to?” “To God”, says the man in the Vatican.
“Who does preybelong to?” “To God”, says the man in the Vatican.
“Who does a hysterical damebelong to?” “To God”, says the man in the Vatican.
“Who does I don’t know what, but BILLIONS of thembelong to?” “To God”, says the man in the Vatican.




PLAY TWO

You know you like a woman with _____, but she better have _____.2

You know you like a woman with friends without benefits, but she better have a creepy dude.
You know you like a woman with a raunchy sex comedy, but she better have a tiny Jamaican.
You know you like a woman with eating feathers, but she better have pretending to forget.
You know you like a woman with my SIM card, but she better have gut-wrenching testimony.
You know you like a woman with a feast of blood, but she better have fighting your family.
You know you like a woman with an enjoyable life, but she better have a fresh lung.


What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
 
2016 Jan 27 at 21:05 PST — Ed. 2016 Jan 27 at 21:06 PST
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 280
An avalanche of justice

Kirkland mom makes $20,000 a week with An avalanche of justice.
Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider An avalanche of justice.
An avalanche of justice can be eaten most successfully if you inhale it like a vacuum cleaner.
When the celestial spheres align, An avalanche of justice will descend from the heavens.
I want to say one word to you, just one word: An avalanche of justice.
Come on down to Golden Corral for An avalanche of justice.

 
 
 
2016 Jan 27 at 21:14 PST
trainer6265

2014 Nov 5 • 21
white card:
A premature post-mortem

I didn’t think this house would sell with zip ties in the attic. Anyway, I’m a premature post-mortem.
When a premature post-mortem is ready, steady pumping will appear.
It has been prophesied that the young king will eventually be killed by a premature post-mortem.
I met a strange lady, she made me nervous. She took me in and gave me a premature post-mortem.
Original style is fine, but chunky kinda tastes like a premature post-mortem.
You evaded my “a premature post-mortem” attack! Most impressive.

wait, but if you expect the unexpected, then the expected becomes the unexpected, so what do you expect?
 
 
 
2016 Jan 31 at 15:17 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6629
At his last campaign rally, Bernie Sanders began _____ in front of his top supporters.

At his last campaign rally, Bernie Sanders began masturbating to pictures of dead animals in front of his top supporters.
At his last campaign rally, Bernie Sanders began a stroke in front of his top supporters.
At his last campaign rally, Bernie Sanders began retribution in front of his top supporters.
At his last campaign rally, Bernie Sanders began a squeaky-clean bottom in front of his top supporters.
At his last campaign rally, Bernie Sanders began no spider in front of his top supporters.
At his last campaign rally, Bernie Sanders began ground unicorn bone in front of his top supporters.



The part you pee into

A lifetime of the part you pee into awaits. Call now for a free consultation.
The thief was caught stealing a bunch of vulvas in my face from the sultan, and so was thrown into the pit of the part you pee into.
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into the part you pee into. It was not my lips you kissed, but getting only beef jerky for Christmas.
Ha! You activated my trap card, “the part you pee into!” You’re cursed with impacting my sister until the end of the game!
Holy dogshit, Texas! Only sharpened teeth and the part you pee into come from Texas, Private Cowboy!
It’s not delivery. It’s the part you pee into.



Slipping on a jizz slick

This is my second kid. My first one came out as slipping on a jizz slick.
I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by slipping on a jizz slick.
Come on down to Golden Corral for slipping on a jizz slick.
Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider slipping on a jizz slick.
My religion demands that I must always have Cochise, and that I must abstain from slipping on a jizz slick.
There is no “I” in “team” but there is an “I” in “slipping on a jizz slick”.

 
 
 
2016 Feb 8 at 22:21 PST — Ed. 2016 Feb 21 at 19:31 PST
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 780
175 ₧
A jet of hot air

Squad, circle up. It’s time to talk A jet of hot air.
Alien cover-ups, false flag operations, and military experiments with A jet of hot air! It’s all here in my manifesto!
I want to say one word to you, just one word: A jet of hot air.
I met a strange lady, she made me nervous. She took me in and gave me A jet of hot air.
Abraham Lincoln wrestled with depression, but that did not keep him from A jet of hot air with Ein Berliner.
The three techniques of Sumo Wrestling: cannibals, the president’s helicopter and A jet of hot air.



(Goes great with the Bernie Sanders one)
 
 
 
2016 Feb 12 at 16:30 PST
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 701
11 ₧
WHITE CARDS

This perfect virtue

Come on down to Golden Corral for this perfect virtue.
These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was this perfect virtue, part was oral fixations, and it was crowned with the wrong man.
Throughout human history, this perfect virtue has been the first activity of explorers of any new region.
The new self-help fad: Better Living Through this perfect virtue!
Holy dogshit, Texas! Only a gasoline enema and this perfect virtue come from Texas, Private Cowboy!
Life without love is like a tacky, god-awful facelift without this perfect virtue or fruit.



Feng Shui

Feng Shui is not horrible if a child is doing it.
I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by Feng Shui.
A BBC team has witnessed the devastating effects of Feng Shui on civilians in rebel-held areas of Syria.
Jan Sobieski, leading the largest cavalry charge in history, rode into battle atop Feng Shui.
The city condemned our house after finding Feng Shui in the crawlspace.
Feng Shui brings only my index finger and a smile to a child’s face.



Spider silk

How embarrassing! I forget I left spider silk in the foyer.
Science never solves a problem without creating spider silk.
More than 260 people were injured by festive firecracker blasts and spider silk in the Philippines.
Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value spider silk more. Now hold still.
I’m finally sisters with spider silk!
“You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember spider silk?”



protagonists that are white men with guns

A very relatable person

A social skill is any skill facilitating a very relatable person and a novelty oversized foam fist with others.
My house. 8 o’clock. a very relatable person.
Their rising all at once was as the sound of a very relatable person heard remote.
Happiness: the amount of land in southern Scotland, a very relatable person, and Portuguese possessions.
I’m undergoing immersion therapy by continually exposing myself to a very relatable person.
CAUTION: Keep a very relatable person out of hopper and chute opening. Failure to comply risks personal injury.



Jack Horkheimer: Star Hustler

Then God said, “Let there be Jack Horkheimer: Star Hustler”; and there was Jack Horkheimer: Star Hustler. And God saw that Jack Horkheimer: Star Hustler was good.
In this 15th century painting, Jack Horkheimer: Star Hustler is represented by a man with twerking your front butt for a head.
Oh dear God! That was the last of my medication for “Jack Horkheimer: Star Hustler” syndrome!
India is launching a rocket to test the effects of micro-gravity on Jack Horkheimer: Star Hustler.
Apparently, “Jack Horkheimer: Star Hustler” is a dance move in the Hip-Hop and B-Boy community.
After last week’s stunning victory, the wrestler earned his nickname “Jack Horkheimer: Star Hustler





BLACK CARDS - PLAY ONE

We sit together, _____ and I, until only _____ remains.2

We sit together, steampunk bullshit and I, until only a weak spot remains.
We sit together, invoking a curse and I, until only 100% plastic adult toys remains.
We sit together, losing on purpose and I, until only a spooky mummy remains.
We sit together, a system of tunnels leading to key locations and I, until only hiding the elderly remains.
We sit together, smacking your bitch in public and I, until only a playpen remains.
We sit together, a cold hearted assassin and I, until only a hand grenade in my cereal remains.



The Earth is the cradle of _____, but _____ cannot stay in the cradle forever.2

The Earth is the cradle of compost, but a lonely old man cannot stay in the cradle forever.
The Earth is the cradle of nosy neighbors, but stubby fingers cannot stay in the cradle forever.
The Earth is the cradle of a historical dame, but a gash cannot stay in the cradle forever.
The Earth is the cradle of a delicate balance, but just rockin’ that ass cannot stay in the cradle forever.
The Earth is the cradle of a Facebook post, but bellybutton logic cannot stay in the cradle forever.
The Earth is the cradle of clown genitals, but drool drops cannot stay in the cradle forever.



Red-hot __, white-hot __, cold-black __; a __ taste, a __ smell, and a Babel of __ sounds.

_____ has told me of things that delight them, but not such things as your law has to tell.

my SIM card has told me of things that delight them, but not such things as your law has to tell.
unbridled fury has told me of things that delight them, but not such things as your law has to tell.
a reliable source of income has told me of things that delight them, but not such things as your law has to tell.
a wayward dental implant has told me of things that delight them, but not such things as your law has to tell.
your signature manoeuvre has told me of things that delight them, but not such things as your law has to tell.
my bacon strip has told me of things that delight them, but not such things as your law has to tell.



The ancient Chinese had a name for it: Feng Shui. We call it _____.

The ancient Chinese had a name for it: Feng Shui. We call it expulsion.
The ancient Chinese had a name for it: Feng Shui. We call it reduced brain intelligence.
The ancient Chinese had a name for it: Feng Shui. We call it foaming, not at the mouth.
The ancient Chinese had a name for it: Feng Shui. We call it cabin fever.
The ancient Chinese had a name for it: Feng Shui. We call it a difficult Canadian.
The ancient Chinese had a name for it: Feng Shui. We call it a battle.



In one dimension I find existence, in two I find life, but in three, I find _____.

In one dimension I find existence, in two I find life, but in three, I find a bad landing.
In one dimension I find existence, in two I find life, but in three, I find a vague prophesy.
In one dimension I find existence, in two I find life, but in three, I find firing off the squibs too early.
In one dimension I find existence, in two I find life, but in three, I find dudes.
In one dimension I find existence, in two I find life, but in three, I find an asset.
In one dimension I find existence, in two I find life, but in three, I find great tits.



“I'll give the land a little shock, remember what I say, and they'll yet regret they've sent _____ in chains to Botany Bay.”

“I'll give the land a little shock, remember what I say, and they'll yet regret they've sent a real sonuvabitch in chains to Botany Bay.”
“I'll give the land a little shock, remember what I say, and they'll yet regret they've sent the reptile brain in chains to Botany Bay.”
“I'll give the land a little shock, remember what I say, and they'll yet regret they've sent movie and television adaptations in chains to Botany Bay.”
“I'll give the land a little shock, remember what I say, and they'll yet regret they've sent hounding the family dog in chains to Botany Bay.”
“I'll give the land a little shock, remember what I say, and they'll yet regret they've sent Satan’s latest abomination in chains to Botany Bay.”
“I'll give the land a little shock, remember what I say, and they'll yet regret they've sent drinking palm wine from your enemy’s skull in chains to Botany Bay.”



We must never forget that _____ is the sole reason for our struggle.

We must never forget that blocking the exit is the sole reason for our struggle.
We must never forget that black leggings is the sole reason for our struggle.
We must never forget that an unfair coin is the sole reason for our struggle.
We must never forget that well-organized orphans is the sole reason for our struggle.
We must never forget that an eyewitness is the sole reason for our struggle.
We must never forget that a burn victim is the sole reason for our struggle.



_____ once measured in meters has become so small that they cannot be seen by the naked eye, with revolutionary applications across the board.

bed inspectors once measured in meters has become so small that they cannot be seen by the naked eye, with revolutionary applications across the board.
thousands once measured in meters has become so small that they cannot be seen by the naked eye, with revolutionary applications across the board.
vital developments once measured in meters has become so small that they cannot be seen by the naked eye, with revolutionary applications across the board.
an implied butt once measured in meters has become so small that they cannot be seen by the naked eye, with revolutionary applications across the board.
goat porn once measured in meters has become so small that they cannot be seen by the naked eye, with revolutionary applications across the board.
a horizontal ass crack once measured in meters has become so small that they cannot be seen by the naked eye, with revolutionary applications across the board.



Until quite recently, _____ had the highest tensile strength of any substance known to man.

Until quite recently, a little of this, a little of that had the highest tensile strength of any substance known to man.
Until quite recently, conjuring had the highest tensile strength of any substance known to man.
Until quite recently, a gaggle of nuns had the highest tensile strength of any substance known to man.
Until quite recently, voluminous hair had the highest tensile strength of any substance known to man.
Until quite recently, hyperactive legs had the highest tensile strength of any substance known to man.
Until quite recently, the real adversary had the highest tensile strength of any substance known to man.



What actually transpires beneath the veil of _____? Decent people shouldn't think too much about that.

What actually transpires beneath the veil of inhabitants? Decent people shouldn't think too much about that.
What actually transpires beneath the veil of circumcising your dad? Decent people shouldn't think too much about that.
What actually transpires beneath the veil of a van down by the river? Decent people shouldn't think too much about that.
What actually transpires beneath the veil of a reach-around? Decent people shouldn't think too much about that.
What actually transpires beneath the veil of a hysterical dame? Decent people shouldn't think too much about that.
What actually transpires beneath the veil of a virus? Decent people shouldn't think too much about that.



If you can discover a better way of life than _____ for your future rulers, a well-governed city becomes a possibility.

If you can discover a better way of life than tumbling down a mountain for your future rulers, a well-governed city becomes a possibility.
If you can discover a better way of life than mixed feelings for your future rulers, a well-governed city becomes a possibility.
If you can discover a better way of life than giving birth to your own parents for your future rulers, a well-governed city becomes a possibility.
If you can discover a better way of life than a guillotine for your future rulers, a well-governed city becomes a possibility.
If you can discover a better way of life than rent-controlled coffins for your future rulers, a well-governed city becomes a possibility.
If you can discover a better way of life than the basic unit of physics for your future rulers, a well-governed city becomes a possibility.



Once a man has changed the relationship between himself and _____ , he cannot return to the blissful ignorance he left

Once a man has changed the relationship between himself and something worth mentioning , he cannot return to the blissful ignorance he left
Once a man has changed the relationship between himself and your only white friend , he cannot return to the blissful ignorance he left
Once a man has changed the relationship between himself and distended tubes , he cannot return to the blissful ignorance he left
Once a man has changed the relationship between himself and squirting acid , he cannot return to the blissful ignorance he left
Once a man has changed the relationship between himself and a feather boa , he cannot return to the blissful ignorance he left
Once a man has changed the relationship between himself and almost no air left , he cannot return to the blissful ignorance he left





BLACK CARDS - PLAY TWO

_____ is the cradle of _____, but one cannot stay in the cradle forever.2

having a zero-value existence is the cradle of hatred for children, but one cannot stay in the cradle forever.
a tiny Jamaican is the cradle of leaving no trace, but one cannot stay in the cradle forever.
teaching pseudoscience is the cradle of an angry buttplug for the man, but one cannot stay in the cradle forever.
no wheelchair access is the cradle of what’s grinding my gears, but one cannot stay in the cradle forever.
subduing your cell-mate and making him your wife is the cradle of friends that can keep a secret, but one cannot stay in the cradle forever.
a new reality show is the cradle of wrestling alligators, but one cannot stay in the cradle forever.



And when he has brought forth and reared_____, he shall be called _____, and if ever it is given to man to put on immortality, it shall be given to him.2

And when he has brought forth and reareda pillar of salt, he shall be called Oprah’s audience, and if ever it is given to man to put on immortality, it shall be given to him.
And when he has brought forth and rearedcute lil’ child soldiers, he shall be called wriggly little worms, and if ever it is given to man to put on immortality, it shall be given to him.
And when he has brought forth and reareda liberal application, he shall be called an improvised explosive device, and if ever it is given to man to put on immortality, it shall be given to him.
And when he has brought forth and reareda deep cut, he shall be called all this shit, and if ever it is given to man to put on immortality, it shall be given to him.
And when he has brought forth and rearedgladiator pants, he shall be called an episode of sudden mass assault against people or objects, and if ever it is given to man to put on immortality, it shall be given to him.
And when he has brought forth and rearedyoung crabs, he shall be called “forgetting” to knock, and if ever it is given to man to put on immortality, it shall be given to him.



I maintain nonetheless that yin-yang dualism can be overcome. With sufficient enlightenment we can give substance to any distinction: mind without body, north without south, _____ without _____. 2

I maintain nonetheless that yin-yang dualism can be overcome. With sufficient enlightenment we can give substance to any distinction: mind without body, north without south, a time machine that has yet to be invented without consensual manslaughter.
I maintain nonetheless that yin-yang dualism can be overcome. With sufficient enlightenment we can give substance to any distinction: mind without body, north without south, an ankle holster without my golden goose.
I maintain nonetheless that yin-yang dualism can be overcome. With sufficient enlightenment we can give substance to any distinction: mind without body, north without south, a crocodile death-rolling my taint without 50,000 volts of electricity.
I maintain nonetheless that yin-yang dualism can be overcome. With sufficient enlightenment we can give substance to any distinction: mind without body, north without south, various fluids without a vigorous grind.
I maintain nonetheless that yin-yang dualism can be overcome. With sufficient enlightenment we can give substance to any distinction: mind without body, north without south, a crime of passion without empowerment.
I maintain nonetheless that yin-yang dualism can be overcome. With sufficient enlightenment we can give substance to any distinction: mind without body, north without south, a frantic woman without a truck full of ladders.



_____ in the classic sense has no place in rational theory, but _____ does exist on the quantum level, and more importantly it can be controlled.2

the tiniest little idea in my pea brain in the classic sense has no place in rational theory, but Disneyland! does exist on the quantum level, and more importantly it can be controlled.
zigzagging wildly in the classic sense has no place in rational theory, but an old hornet does exist on the quantum level, and more importantly it can be controlled.
keepin’ it tight in the classic sense has no place in rational theory, but a sexy, but stylish full turn does exist on the quantum level, and more importantly it can be controlled.
a little line of poop from your head to your butt in the classic sense has no place in rational theory, but a humiliated animal does exist on the quantum level, and more importantly it can be controlled.
wallowing in the pee in the classic sense has no place in rational theory, but oozing holes does exist on the quantum level, and more importantly it can be controlled.
fighting your family in the classic sense has no place in rational theory, but a barbecued meal worm does exist on the quantum level, and more importantly it can be controlled.



This unusual specimen is not so much _____ as _____.2

This unusual specimen is not so much the very foundation as ball peeking.
This unusual specimen is not so much closing her legs as whaling.
This unusual specimen is not so much a launch as ocean Nazis.
This unusual specimen is not so much my innards as ill-advised business decisions.
This unusual specimen is not so much the female form as a penis costume.
This unusual specimen is not so much a Hot Pocket® as a line.



The substructure of the universe regresses infinitely towards smaller and smaller components. Behind _____we find electrons, and behind electrons, _____. Each layer unraveled reveals new secrets, but also new mysteries.2

The substructure of the universe regresses infinitely towards smaller and smaller components. Behind an obstinate, but lovable grandfatherwe find electrons, and behind electrons, alien technology. Each layer unraveled reveals new secrets, but also new mysteries.
The substructure of the universe regresses infinitely towards smaller and smaller components. Behind an abomination unto Godwe find electrons, and behind electrons, being attacked by a skeleton. Each layer unraveled reveals new secrets, but also new mysteries.
The substructure of the universe regresses infinitely towards smaller and smaller components. Behind secret Jewswe find electrons, and behind electrons, years of pain. Each layer unraveled reveals new secrets, but also new mysteries.
The substructure of the universe regresses infinitely towards smaller and smaller components. Behind the instructionswe find electrons, and behind electrons, a shitty, useless planet. Each layer unraveled reveals new secrets, but also new mysteries.
The substructure of the universe regresses infinitely towards smaller and smaller components. Behind a Korean hackerwe find electrons, and behind electrons, a lonely grave. Each layer unraveled reveals new secrets, but also new mysteries.
The substructure of the universe regresses infinitely towards smaller and smaller components. Behind a long visitwe find electrons, and behind electrons, a pig chute. Each layer unraveled reveals new secrets, but also new mysteries.





BLACK CARDS - PLAY THREE

As the Americans learned so painfully in Earth's final century, _____ is the only safeguard against tyranny. The once-chained people whose leaders at last lose their grip on _____ will soon burst with freedom and vitality, but the free nation gradually constricting its grip on _____ has begun its rapid slide into despotism. 3

As the Americans learned so painfully in Earth's final century, going out on a limb is the only safeguard against tyranny. The once-chained people whose leaders at last lose their grip on a bad white card will soon burst with freedom and vitality, but the free nation gradually constricting its grip on intense pain has begun its rapid slide into despotism.
As the Americans learned so painfully in Earth's final century, ichor from a bug’s gland is the only safeguard against tyranny. The once-chained people whose leaders at last lose their grip on bathwater will soon burst with freedom and vitality, but the free nation gradually constricting its grip on spiritual functionality has begun its rapid slide into despotism.
As the Americans learned so painfully in Earth's final century, a robot face is the only safeguard against tyranny. The once-chained people whose leaders at last lose their grip on Orange Julius will soon burst with freedom and vitality, but the free nation gradually constricting its grip on googly eyes on everyone and everything has begun its rapid slide into despotism.
As the Americans learned so painfully in Earth's final century, Moon Base Alpha is the only safeguard against tyranny. The once-chained people whose leaders at last lose their grip on baking onto the sidewalk will soon burst with freedom and vitality, but the free nation gradually constricting its grip on you, ya dirty bum has begun its rapid slide into despotism.
As the Americans learned so painfully in Earth's final century, a male prostitute is the only safeguard against tyranny. The once-chained people whose leaders at last lose their grip on a pulpy mass will soon burst with freedom and vitality, but the free nation gradually constricting its grip on getting groped by a senator has begun its rapid slide into despotism.
As the Americans learned so painfully in Earth's final century, poking all the little bugs is the only safeguard against tyranny. The once-chained people whose leaders at last lose their grip on acting in an irresponsible fashion will soon burst with freedom and vitality, but the free nation gradually constricting its grip on a wish granting goblin has begun its rapid slide into despotism.


What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
 
2016 Feb 12 at 21:13 PST — Ed. 2016 Mar 4 at 15:01 PST
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 280
From Nick -

Bruce Banner Lee Wayne Man

And before I let your steam drill beat me down, I’ll die with Bruce Banner Lee Wayne Man in my hand.
Then God said, “Let there be Bruce Banner Lee Wayne Man”; and there was Bruce Banner Lee Wayne Man. And God saw that Bruce Banner Lee Wayne Man was good.
The new bill before congress would mandate the absolute verifiable truth and provide subsidies for Bruce Banner Lee Wayne Man.
Any man who can drive safely while kissing Bruce Banner Lee Wayne Man is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
Outrageous new comedy: 2 best friends and a giant jump take a road trip, and discover Bruce Banner Lee Wayne Man along the way.
My religion demands that I must always have Bruce Banner Lee Wayne Man, and that I must abstain from a felony.


 
 
 
2016 Feb 12 at 23:55 PST
Signa
2013 Dec 28 • 186
A wind breaker that breaks wind

The school district had to pay a lot of hush money to parents after the “a wind breaker that breaks wind” incident in the science lab.
An FBI raid on Michael Eisner’s seaside villa turned up a wind breaker that breaks wind in every room.
That’s not funny. My dad was killed by a wind breaker that breaks wind.
When the research team activated the interdimensional portal, a wind breaker that breaks wind emerged.
Class, turn to page 100 and start reading “a wind breaker that breaks wind”.
India is launching a rocket to test the effects of micro-gravity on a wind breaker that breaks wind.

 
 
 
2016 Feb 13 at 12:17 PST
Signa
2013 Dec 28 • 186
A lacist calicature

Jan Sobieski, leading the largest cavalry charge in history, rode into battle atop a lacist calicature.
Class, turn to page 100 and start reading “a lacist calicature”.
Tomorrow the city is throwing a ticker-tape to celebrate a lacist calicature.
Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on a lacist calicature.
Men, like a lacist calicature, go farthest when they are smoothest.
Populations of endangered rhinoceros are threatened by a lacist calicature and big pants.

 
 
 
2016 Feb 14 at 21:33 PST
the_cloud_system
polly pushy pants

2008 Aug 1 • 3080
-6 ₧
Holding your ass below the water till the bubbles stop

Then God said, “Let there be Holding your ass below the water till the bubbles stop”; and there was Holding your ass below the water till the bubbles stop. And God saw that Holding your ass below the water till the bubbles stop was good.
Happiness: cannibals, shafts, and Holding your ass below the water till the bubbles stop.
But of the tree of knowledge of a polite way to say no and Holding your ass below the water till the bubbles stop you shall not eat, for in the day you eat of it you shall surely die.
... And so my mom asked me, “If all your friends were Holding your ass below the water till the bubbles stop, would you be Holding your ass below the water till the bubbles stop as well?”
After last week’s stunning victory, the wrestler earned his nickname “Holding your ass below the water till the bubbles stop
I went to cut the cake, and to my delight, Holding your ass below the water till the bubbles stop popped out!


I drink to forget but I always remember.
 
 
 
2016 Feb 16 at 15:46 PST