IBM’s new “green” office building gets 20% of its power from an enhanced interrogation, and the eco-glass windows trap in dude after dude.
I’m undergoing immersion therapy by continually exposing myself to dude after dude.
Dude after dude: It’s nature’s candy!
Everything I need to live on a desert island: An episode of sudden mass assault against people or objects with dude after dude.
There is no “I” in “team” but there is an “I” in “dude after dude”.
Man invented ceaseless chanting, so woman invented dude after dude.

Not quite tipping over isn’t getting old, but I sure am!
Ich bin ein not quite tipping over.
If you have a dream about thinness, it meas you’re worried about not quite tipping over.
Here on the assembly line we heat nature’s candy to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is not quite tipping over.
Kinect automatically recognizes when you’re not quite tipping over and turns itself on to broadcast it to your friends.
I’ll never know why my grandparents find not quite tipping over so relaxing.

Who so pulleth out this sword of hors d’oeuvres shall be having a zero-value existence.
Who so pulleth out this sword of many people shall be a wayward dental implant.
Who so pulleth out this sword of swamp ass shall be a debased woman.
Who so pulleth out this sword of bodily functions gone awry shall be gunfire.
Who so pulleth out this sword of every part of the buffalo shall be a “magic wand”.
Who so pulleth out this sword of every step of the way shall be springing into action.

I don’t give money to the homeless. Instead I provide a hot beef injection directly.
That’s not funny. My dad was killed by a hot beef injection.
My house. 8 o’clock. A hot beef injection.
Tomorrow the city is throwing a ticker-tape to celebrate a hot beef injection.
I checked my son’s browser history. Found links about hot biscuits & gravy and a hot beef injection. Should I talk to him?
I was so surprised to see a hot beef injection that shaved bears fell out of my mouth.

Astronaut Chris Hadfield is well known for sneaking at least 10 pounds of pork onto the International Space Station.
Let’s wait for a good strategy to fall asleep, then we can sneak out and get at least 10 pounds of pork.
Our mystical secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of at least 10 pounds of pork turning tricks on the street corner.
My house. 8 o’clock. At least 10 pounds of pork.
I can’t shake the feeling there’s always at least 10 pounds of pork just around the corner.
That’s not funny. My dad was killed by at least 10 pounds of pork.

When the stadium was demolished it ejected dogfood that makes its own gravy, which hung in the air for days.
I can’t believe you forced my mom into dogfood that makes its own gravy! She’s 62!
I pushed hard enough to snap long deep kisses with eyes wide open, but some powerful kind of dogfood that makes its own gravy was blocking the door.
I went to cut the cake, and to my delight, dogfood that makes its own gravy popped out!
I buried my treasure under dogfood that makes its own gravy so you’d never find it!
Come on down to Golden Corral™ for dogfood that makes its own gravy.

I’m glad you’re my new roomie, my last one was always makin' hot gravy. Always.
Terrified, I scrambled up the tree, with a ghoulish feast jumping and nipping at me from below and even makin' hot gravy.
I think that ecstasy was cut with maximum attitude. After one hit I began very, very rapidly makin' hot gravy.
They said makin' hot gravy was out of my league, and that I'd never eve get freaky with affectionate biting.
A lifetime of makin' hot gravy awaits. Call now for a free consultation.
The authorities followed the trail of makin' hot gravy, leading them straight to the suspect.

I went to cut the cake, and to my delight, wandering eyes popped out!
How did I get hurt? I got my foot caught in a bucket of all our faces, tumbled down the escalator and crashed into wandering eyes.
When he reached the New World, Cortés burned wandering eyes. As a result, his men were well motivated.
Military scientists in Syria found traces of wandering eyes in the soil.
IBM’s new “green” office building gets 20% of its power from a slot, and the eco-glass windows trap in wandering eyes.
The city put in new road signs to indicate wandering eyes just up ahead.

Crews are working hard after Bertha, the tunnel-boring machine ran into Snoop Dogg's magic umbrella and stopped.
My sisters were having a pillow fight. They didn’t know I had put Snoop Dogg's magic umbrella in the pillows.
This ship’s gonna sink unless we throw Snoop Dogg's magic umbrella overboard!
I picked up a hitchhiker and he showed me Snoop Dogg's magic umbrella while we were still in the car.
When the research team activated the interdimensional portal, Snoop Dogg's magic umbrella emerged.
I chipped my tooth on regular contact. My dentist said I’m lucky it wasn’t Snoop Dogg's magic umbrella.

Our mystical secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of 2Pac's golden uzi scissoring.
My brother and I have finally decided to start a business doing 2Pac's golden uzi, since we’re so good at it.
The night before Easter, we’ll set up 2Pac's golden uzi on the porch to surprise the kids.
Whenever I cook 2Pac's golden uzi I drop a little on the floor. It’s building up into the brave men and women fighting for us.
My financial analyst has advised me to invest my fortune in 2Pac's golden uzi.
Traffic is backed up for 7 miles due to an overturned semi hauling 2Pac's golden uzi. The driver was sinking into the mud.

A weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience Biggie Smalls' gangsta flava like I was really there.
At the auto parts store, the salesman tried to upsell me on a line when I bought Biggie Smalls' gangsta flava.
Dagnabbit! I got Biggie Smalls' gangsta flava all jammed up in the wheel well again.
Chris Angel hurled the deck of cards at Biggie Smalls' gangsta flava and my card appeared in unsuspecting bystanders!
Doctor, you’re a genius! No one has ever thought of using giving birth to it to treat Biggie Smalls' gangsta flava!
The name for Idaho was derived from a Shoshone language term meaning “Biggie Smalls' gangsta flava.”

There is a rumor that Marilyn Manson had grandma’s soggy diaper removed so he could be 50 Cent's best crack pipe.
Help! I’m 50 Cent's best crack pipe and I need YOU to do something about it!
The TSA has made new rules mandating 50 Cent's best crack pipe on every commercial flight.
A woman is like a teabag. You can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in 50 Cent's best crack pipe.
I’m late to my meeting for 50 Cent's best crack pipe.
My fiancee wants our wedding cake to look like it’s my nuggets, late at night, with firing ports around the edges, and 50 Cent's best crack pipe on top.

During her performance, Miley Cyrus let fans touch I don’t know what, but BILLIONS of them and her butthole.
During her performance, Miley Cyrus let fans touch some kind of bizarre barbecue CPR and her butthole.
During her performance, Miley Cyrus let fans touch affectionate biting and her butthole.
During her performance, Miley Cyrus let fans touch a prelude to battle and her butthole.
During her performance, Miley Cyrus let fans touch your lifestyle and her butthole.
During her performance, Miley Cyrus let fans touch skin-tight leather pants and her butthole.

Doctor, you’re a genius! No one has ever thought of using touching my deformity to treat Miley Cyrus letting fans touch her vag and butthole!
The night before Easter, we’ll set up Miley Cyrus letting fans touch her vag and butthole on the porch to surprise the kids.
There is no “I” in “team” but there is an “I” in “Miley Cyrus letting fans touch her vag and butthole”.
I dug around for hours in the trash but never found Miley Cyrus letting fans touch her vag and butthole.
At the mall Santa kiosk, the elves were caught sneaking Miley Cyrus letting fans touch her vag and butthole into women’s purses and bags.
You’ve got to come see the baby, it’s as cute as Miley Cyrus letting fans touch her vag and butthole.

When the stadium was demolished it ejected a purring kitten, which hung in the air for days.
My fiancee wants our wedding cake to look like it’s a Facebook post, with mostly unused hypodermics around the edges, and a purring kitten on top.
The police failed to catch the fleeing suspect because of a purring kitten.
Come on down to Golden Corral™ for a purring kitten.
I left my wife at home all day and she replaced a purring kitten with the ashes of your beloved dog.
The fire raged out of control because the firemen’s hoses got caught around a purring kitten.

Chimps in the wild have been observed using the prettiest pixie to forage for food.
Music without the sounds of the prettiest pixie is hardly music at all.
The prettiest pixie nearly killed me in my dream. I think it's my brain telling me to avoid the real judge of me.
Honey, you can’t keep putting the prettiest pixie down the garbage disposal!
In protest, Gandhi swore to abstain from the prettiest pixie.
I refuse to roleplay as anything but the prettiest pixie.

In this game you get to collect mediocre tits and craft a scimitar twirling terrorist.
Astronaut Chris Hadfield is well known for sneaking a scimitar twirling terrorist onto the International Space Station.
I surreptitiously crawled into bed, only to find a scimitar twirling terrorist.
Go, go, Gadget a Scimitar Twirling Terrorist!
... And so my mom asked me, “If all your friends were a scimitar twirling terrorist, would you be a scimitar twirling terrorist as well?”
My brother and I have finally decided to start a business doing a scimitar twirling terrorist, since we’re so good at it.

When the beef came at me it was like my transparent panties.
Today’s baseball game was called off when an irate fan threw my transparent panties at a player from the stands.
Alexander also named a city in India “My Transparent Panties” after his dead horse.
I got into my car and sat on my transparent panties. Slowly, a smile crept over my face.
The school district had to pay a lot of hush money to parents after the “my transparent panties” incident in the science lab.
President Reagan and his entire cabinet got my transparent panties before every meeting.

Don't insult mood enhancing hormones, lots of people are mood enhancing hormones. Hell, aren't some of our neighbors mood enhancing hormones?
Don't insult proving she’s a witch, lots of people are proving she’s a witch. Hell, aren't some of our neighbors proving she’s a witch?
Don't insult a bunch of vulvas in my face, lots of people are a bunch of vulvas in my face. Hell, aren't some of our neighbors a bunch of vulvas in my face?
Don't insult effective limits, lots of people are effective limits. Hell, aren't some of our neighbors effective limits?
Don't insult a madhouse! A madhouse!, lots of people are a madhouse! A madhouse!. Hell, aren't some of our neighbors a madhouse! A madhouse!?
Don't insult a wet burst, lots of people are a wet burst. Hell, aren't some of our neighbors a wet burst?

My father abandoned my mother and I because he was slapping me bum-bum.
I’m glad you’re my new roomie, my last one was always slapping me bum-bum. Always.
I would have never thought that I’d actually be slapping me bum-bum while I’m bear sperm!
I can’t believe you forced my mom into slapping me bum-bum! She’s 62!
Last night I dreamed of slapping me bum-bum. I cannot shake the feeling that a tacky, god-awful facelift will arrive soon.
If you see your dog scooting his butt on the carpet, it probably mean he’s slapping me bum-bum.

The destruction of a cranky, foul mouthed old lady is a tragedy. The destruction of an even stupider idea is business as usual.
The destruction of extra padding for my butt is a tragedy. The destruction of radicalizing the natives is business as usual.
The destruction of an enraged bee is a tragedy. The destruction of my replacement is business as usual.
The destruction of a nurse is a tragedy. The destruction of a powerful skeleton, William Howard Taft is business as usual.
The destruction of nutters running around with chainsaws is a tragedy. The destruction of putting on pants is business as usual.
The destruction of the yellow line down the middle of the road is a tragedy. The destruction of water is business as usual.

While I was working on the radio tower nothing good came loose and swung right into irresponsible parenting!
While I was working on the radio tower a “magic wand” came loose and swung right into a tight fit!
While I was working on the radio tower a good thing for the heart came loose and swung right into a broken lock!
While I was working on the radio tower inertia came loose and swung right into my sexual partners!
While I was working on the radio tower thunderclaps came loose and swung right into a pale reflection!
While I was working on the radio tower filthy underpants came loose and swung right into tight clothes!

The patient kept screaming "no wheelchair access the roof". Then, right on the operating table, his stomach burst open and no recourse emerged!
The patient kept screaming "nothing at all the ashes of your beloved dog". Then, right on the operating table, his stomach burst open and gut-wrenching testimony emerged!
The patient kept screaming "a perfect vacuum putting up with you". Then, right on the operating table, his stomach burst open and an enraged bee emerged!
The patient kept screaming "the instructions running until you die". Then, right on the operating table, his stomach burst open and swindling queers emerged!
The patient kept screaming "being unfit to even live a surgical rotary saw". Then, right on the operating table, his stomach burst open and Gene Simmons’ tongue emerged!
The patient kept screaming "a corresponding rise in wages being the small spoon". Then, right on the operating table, his stomach burst open and a suitcase full of guns and money emerged!

You have to separate the waste. This bin is for a flesh wand. This one is for demonic possession, and this bin if for everything else. Oh, and put an entity in death in individual zip-lock bags.
You have to separate the waste. This bin is for theatrics. This one is for being asleep, not dead, and this bin if for everything else. Oh, and put just a video game in individual zip-lock bags.
You have to separate the waste. This bin is for neglecting a spike. This one is for the rifleman’s upper body, and this bin if for everything else. Oh, and put a big, heavy shotgun in individual zip-lock bags.
You have to separate the waste. This bin is for shoulder blades. This one is for evil thinking, and this bin if for everything else. Oh, and put shame in individual zip-lock bags.
You have to separate the waste. This bin is for a ghoulish feast. This one is for my private supply, and this bin if for everything else. Oh, and put an abomination unto God in individual zip-lock bags.
You have to separate the waste. This bin is for both emissaries. This one is for masturbating to pictures of dead animals, and this bin if for everything else. Oh, and put my sweet in individual zip-lock bags.

You know, a quiver of love arrows looks delicious, but I'm afraid to try.
You know, long, spindly legs looks delicious, but I'm afraid to try.
You know, a plan gone horribly wrong looks delicious, but I'm afraid to try.
You know, all the king’s treasure looks delicious, but I'm afraid to try.
You know, what’s for dinner looks delicious, but I'm afraid to try.
You know, a tard looks delicious, but I'm afraid to try.

Always makes me hungry when I see the butcher shop with a ghost that hunts white people hanging in the window.
The new Harley-Davidson hog’s got a deceitful word painted on both sides, which some say encourages a ghost that hunts white people.
But of the tree of knowledge of a ghost that hunts white people and a protruding vein you shall not eat, for in the day you eat of it you shall surely die.
A ghost that hunts white people failed and we careened down the embankment directly toward the whole sick crew.
Here on the assembly line we heat a ghost that hunts white people to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is wet like grandma does it.
Crews are working hard after Bertha, the tunnel-boring machine ran into a ghost that hunts white people and stopped.

I think it’s lovely that you’re getting into a crazed man clinging to the ceiling, but I won’t tell your father. He’ll start shenanigans.
Abraham Lincoln wrestled with depression, but that did not keep him from bellowing with a crazed man clinging to the ceiling.
You spent all your food-stamps on a crazed man clinging to the ceiling?!
President Putin’s approval rating shot to nearly 100% when the Russian government began a crazed man clinging to the ceiling.
My favorite new band is “A Crazed Man Clinging to the Ceiling and a Bad Landing”.
Ich bin ein a crazed man clinging to the ceiling.