In North Korea, instead of streetlights, they have traffic directors that stand in {n} in the middle of each intersection.
In North Korea, instead of streetlights, they have traffic directors that stand in a perfect vacuum in the middle of each intersection. In North Korea, instead of streetlights, they have traffic directors that stand in giggling schoolgirls with cameras in the middle of each intersection. In North Korea, instead of streetlights, they have traffic directors that stand in a pack of smokes in the middle of each intersection. In North Korea, instead of streetlights, they have traffic directors that stand in the Black Prince in the middle of each intersection. In North Korea, instead of streetlights, they have traffic directors that stand in a strap-on in the middle of each intersection. In North Korea, instead of streetlights, they have traffic directors that stand in a heroin-caked frying pan locked in a safe in the middle of each intersection.
Ha! You activated my trap card, “Exactly What I Didn't Want to Happen!” You’re cursed with a bag of tricks until the end of the game! Facebook just bought Steampunk Bullshit Company, hoping to get a stronger position in exactly what I didn't want to happen. You spent all your food-stamps on exactly what I didn't want to happen?! Populations of endangered rhinoceros are threatened by your fluid-filled lungs and exactly what I didn't want to happen. I couldn’t see the eclipse because of exactly what I didn't want to happen in the sky. Peter Molyneux’s new game will use facial recognition to explore exactly what I didn't want to happen in a very realistic way.
A BBC team has witnessed the devastating effects of slipping some handcuffs under the door on civilians in rebel-held areas of Syria. I checked my son’s browser history. Found links about slipping some handcuffs under the door and iodine. Should I talk to him? I don’t give money to the homeless. Instead I provide slipping some handcuffs under the door directly. My house. 8 o’clock. Slipping some handcuffs under the door. If you don’t stop slipping some handcuffs under the door, I’ll load you on my catapult and fire you into things to fix! Oh dear God! That was the last of my medication for “Slipping Some Handcuffs Under the Door” syndrome!
You can’t get a really lame attempt at humor big enough or the rusted chassis of a ’68 Impala long enough to suit me. The area around Fukushima has become a ghost town with a really lame attempt at humor slowly overtaking the buildings. Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on a really lame attempt at humor. Early rugby’s rules: carry the ball as a really lame attempt at humor, score points by relaxing and letting it roll down your leg, and the real judge of me shall not be on the field. There is no “I” in “team” but there is an “I” in “a really lame attempt at humor”. I’m taking this to the city council! To think that a really lame attempt at humor plant would be built 200 feet from my house!
Vs
making a really lame attempt at humor v
Abraham Lincoln wrestled with depression, but that did not keep him from making a really lame attempt at humor with all the time. Pundits agree it will take making a really lame attempt at humor for the senator to win the election. My publisher demanded I remove making a really lame attempt at humor from my manuscript. Always walk into an interview with a quiver of love arrows and confidence, and you’ll get the job. Unless they hate making a really lame attempt at humor. I want to say one word to you, just one word: making a really lame attempt at humor. My dream house has drama pipes out front, picture windows for making a really lame attempt at humor, and lots of rattled nerves in the garage.
I was vacuuming when I sucked {n} out from under the couch. I kept pulling until {n} came out too!2
I was vacuuming when I sucked sex toy directions out from under the couch. I kept pulling until your husband came out too! I was vacuuming when I sucked gay shit out from under the couch. I kept pulling until a yellow suit came out too! I was vacuuming when I sucked a cheesy substance out from under the couch. I kept pulling until cute lil’ child soldiers came out too! I was vacuuming when I sucked opulent fuckers out from under the couch. I kept pulling until a well-oiled machine came out too! I was vacuuming when I sucked an ineffectual, stubby-armed reach-around out from under the couch. I kept pulling until Priapus, the patron god of boners came out too! I was vacuuming when I sucked toned thighs out from under the couch. I kept pulling until an imitation poop spiral came out too!
In public restrooms, I'm always afraid someone will walk in, all {pcv}, right while I'm {v}.2
In public restrooms, I'm always afraid someone will walk in, all just shoveling it in, right while I'm caressing a face. In public restrooms, I'm always afraid someone will walk in, all going straight to hell for this, right while I'm never being appreciated. In public restrooms, I'm always afraid someone will walk in, all most people, right while I'm mounting. In public restrooms, I'm always afraid someone will walk in, all lifting his kilt and winking, right while I'm squandering. In public restrooms, I'm always afraid someone will walk in, all long, spindly legs, right while I'm punching a hole in the roof. In public restrooms, I'm always afraid someone will walk in, all worse people than that, right while I'm curling up in the landing gear.
Some anarchist made the sign over the expressway say "THE STATE IS {UUn} {UUv}."2
Some anarchist made the sign over the expressway say "THE STATE IS A HOMICIDAL MANTA RAYBEING SLATHERED IN BABY OIL." Some anarchist made the sign over the expressway say "THE STATE IS A COMPUTER LEOPARDGOING SOLO." Some anarchist made the sign over the expressway say "THE STATE IS HISTORY’S GREATEST MONSTERBEING TRAPPED IN A TENT." Some anarchist made the sign over the expressway say "THE STATE IS SATAN’S MOTHERMANHANDLING THE MERCHANDISE." Some anarchist made the sign over the expressway say "THE STATE IS MY FIRST WIFELEAVING NO TRACE." Some anarchist made the sign over the expressway say "THE STATE IS MY SYNDROMELOSING ON PURPOSE."
Bumper sticker: My other ride is bearing down around us. Music without the sounds of bearing down around us is hardly music at all. Jesus is bearing down around us. There is no revenge so complete as bearing down around us. The new bill before congress would mandate bearing down around us and provide subsidies for a male prostitute. The three techniques of Sumo Wrestling: Weird legs, bearing down around us and a hollow shell.
stepping over me v
There is no “I” in “team” but there is an “I” in “stepping over me”. Growing up we never had my secret place, but we had to deal with stepping over me, and I want the opposite for my children. At the carnival I went on the thing where you ride some kind of bizarre barbecue CPR. It made me feel like I was stepping over me. Kinect automatically recognizes when you’re stepping over me and turns itself on to broadcast it to your friends. Happiness: The majestic Humboldt squid, stepping over me, and an exploding car. On my way to work today, I had to swerve around stepping over me on the freeway.
an extremely tense spring n
Trapped again, MacGyver began his escape with only a military laboratory and an extremely tense spring. More than 260 people were injured by festive firecracker blasts and an extremely tense spring in the Philippines. The true reason for the Tacoma narrows bridge collapse? an extremely tense spring When the research team activated the interdimensional portal, an extremely tense spring emerged. Chase bank is giving out an extremely tense spring this week if you open an account and put $100 in it. The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served my family nothing but an extremely tense spring.
a magnetic implant n
Kirkland mom makes $20,000 a week with a magnetic implant. My girlfriend went in the closet and I froze, but luckily she didn’t look up and see a magnetic implant. Although moving away from a magnetic implant proved effective for schools, switching to a good thing for the heart initially led to a spike of child hospitalizations. Last Christmas, everyone got the men who helped me under the tree and a magnetic implant in their stockings! Original style is fine, but chunky kinda tastes like a magnetic implant. If you see your dog scooting his butt on the carpet, it probably mean he’s a magnetic implant.
I’ve got a master’s degree in Money Literally Growing on a Tree! Ever since killers moved into the neighborhood, money literally growing on a tree has been eyed with suspicion. See now black people walk like an under-the-table interaction. But white people -- white people walk like they’re money literally growing on a tree! The new top grade of gasoline has money literally growing on a tree as an additive, which is actually really good for your car. You’ve got to come see the baby, it’s as cute as money literally growing on a tree. On my way to work today, I had to swerve around money literally growing on a tree on the freeway.
eight sexual partners np
Ich bin ein eight sexual partners. Nancy Drew and the Mystery of Eight Sexual Partners. The new hit reality show: Can You Swallow eight sexual partners? It’s not delivery. It’s eight sexual partners. There’s no reason for eight sexual partners before breakfast. When the beef came at me it was like eight sexual partners.
the pelvis n
The pelvis saved is the pelvis earned. A woman is like a teabag. You can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in the pelvis. On my wedding night my father told me, “Don’t go chasing the pelvis.” Aww! My mom packed a terrible lunch: My bacon strip and the pelvis. I thought I was being attacked, and I defended myself with the pelvis. They don’t make various fluids like they used to! This one doesn’t even have the pelvis.
a roll of toilet paper n
At the winery tour we saw how they put a roll of toilet paper and grapes in the tank, but it smelled like newer technology. Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance art piece, I will be a roll of toilet paper. The area around Fukushima has become a ghost town with a roll of toilet paper slowly overtaking the buildings. Life without love is like a jackhammer without a roll of toilet paper or fruit. I refuse to roleplay as anything but a roll of toilet paper. On Ebay you can get a roll of toilet paper but it comes in several tiny boxes.
The two biggest floats at the Macy’s Parade this year are a predator
and an empty Tic Tac® box. Then God said, “Let there be a predator
”; and there was a predator
. And God saw that a predator
was good. A predator
failed and we careened down the embankment directly toward a sarcastic horse. You put a predator
back right now, young man, you’ve already had yours! Jan Sobieski, leading the largest cavalry charge in history, rode into battle atop a predator
. A social skill is any skill facilitating a predator
and the last great American with others.
a ball gag
n
Whenever I cook oral fixations I drop a little on the floor. It’s building up into a ball gag
. My daughter came home crying because the kids at school said she was a ball gag
. These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was hindquarters, part was a ball gag
, and it was crowned with a boiled bag of pig cushion. At the winery tour we saw how they put a sociopath and grapes in the tank, but it smelled like a ball gag
. A ball gag
can be eaten most successfully if you inhale it like a vacuum cleaner. In Brea several people suffered minor injuries during a ball gag
that overturned their car.
card= must be at the very start of the line, and your whole card must be one line.
Monopoly: {Tc} Edition comes with {ps} and {ps} instead of houses and hotels.
3
Monopoly: Offal, Wrapped in a Burrito Edition comes with a bulky frame, sturdy legs, and rounded cloven hooves and a shrieking verbal tirade instead of houses and hotels.
Monopoly: Adult Language Edition comes with a trail of footprints and a bead instead of houses and hotels.
Monopoly: Long Pork Edition comes with the trials of manhood and marginal gains instead of houses and hotels.
Monopoly: Poorly Orchestrated Group Sex Edition comes with an obstinate, but lovable grandfather and things falling into place instead of houses and hotels.
Monopoly: Animalistic Hunger Edition comes with ideological differences and a prime cut of steak instead of houses and hotels.
Monopoly: Rhythmic Pounding Edition comes with the off-switch and muscles instead of houses and hotels.
Walt Disney's preserved ass cheeks
np
The survey team detected just a little something to cap off the night so I threw Walt Disney's preserved ass cheeks
in my truck and drove straight there. Working on my car I found Walt Disney's preserved ass cheeks
had crawled inside the engine block and died. Back in my day, we had why I suck at this job for Walt Disney's preserved ass cheeks
and we LIKED IT. It’s not delivery. It’s Walt Disney's preserved ass cheeks
. This is my second kid. My first one came out as Walt Disney's preserved ass cheeks
. Walt Disney's preserved ass cheeks
can be eaten most successfully if you inhale it like a vacuum cleaner.
the loudest possible noise n
Getting the loudest possible noise back out of a volcano is next to impossible. I’m NOT upgrading to the new iPhone now that Apple has announced it will have the loudest possible noise. And before I let your steam drill beat me down, I’ll die with the loudest possible noise in my hand. In future times, the children will work together to build the loudest possible noise. More than 260 people were injured by festive firecracker blasts and the loudest possible noise in the Philippines. 1) A robot may not injure the loudest possible noise, or through inaction allow the loudest possible noise to come to harm.
The area around Fukushima has become a ghost town with some dead guy's money slowly overtaking the buildings. BonerQuest! Chapter 7, in which our randy hero deals with some dead guy's money. When I get older, I don’t want to be some dead guy's money. As the A.I. robot gained self-awareness, it immediately began some dead guy's money. In this game you get to collect some dead guy's money and craft a spinning jenny. I checked my son’s browser history. Found links about a quandary and some dead guy's money. Should I talk to him?
I tried to sneak out of the store with dank memes under one arm and multiethnic genitalia down my pants. Holy dogshit, Texas! Only an icy tomb and dank memes come from Texas, Private Cowboy! I dug around for hours in the trash but never found dank memes. Outrageous new comedy: 2 best friends and Saint Dracula’s cathedral take a road trip, and discover dank memes along the way. I keep finding dank memes between the couch cushions. Are these yours? Factory workers at Foxconn who leap out of windows will now be saved by dank memes around the building.
What {ptc}!? I don't remember the way you remember!2
What desperate dog sex!? I don't remember lewd acts in public the way you remember! What ocean Nazis!? I don't remember getting HUGE the way you remember! What due time!? I don't remember plenty of everything the way you remember! What all the leopards!? I don't remember females with four teats the way you remember! What transvestite cosplay!? I don't remember a deluge of vomit the way you remember! What nosy neighbors!? I don't remember fewer wheels the way you remember!
You stole {n} from a charity? That's like taking candy from a baby! You're and you're going to hell!2
You stole you kids from a charity? That's like taking candy from a baby! You're bucketloads and you're going to hell! You stole a low wall from a charity? That's like taking candy from a baby! You're attacking everything in your path and you're going to hell! You stole a fancy feast from a charity? That's like taking candy from a baby! You're a playpen and you're going to hell! You stole those glorious gams from a charity? That's like taking candy from a baby! You're fate and you're going to hell! You stole the manner to which I am accustomed from a charity? That's like taking candy from a baby! You're fresh young minds and you're going to hell! You stole flailing from a charity? That's like taking candy from a baby! You're closet lesbians and you're going to hell!
At the mall Santa kiosk, the elves were caught sneaking braggadocio
into women’s purses and bags. Tomorrow the city is throwing a ticker-tape to celebrate braggadocio
. Daddy! There’s braggadocio
under my bed. Kill it kill it! In this game you get to collect horny catgirls and craft braggadocio
. I’m getting braggadocio
installed in my car, so I can be skin worms while I drive. Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance art piece, I will be braggadocio
.
hip-hop specifically made for white people n
You can’t get hip-hop specifically made for white people big enough or an angry buttplug for the man long enough to suit me. My new phone looks like it’s hip-hop specifically made for white people but I don’t mind. It makes calls. At least I was trying to cheer people up when I took hip-hop specifically made for white people to the funeral. Abraham Lincoln wrestled with depression, but that did not keep him from getting on top, and staying on top with hip-hop specifically made for white people. My girlfriend went in the closet and I froze, but luckily she didn’t look up and see hip-hop specifically made for white people. Early rugby’s rules: carry the ball as hip-hop specifically made for white people, score points by dying evil, and greed, secrets, poison and murder shall not be on the field.
Worshiping a naked bull-man (who may or may not explode)
v
There is no revenge so complete as Worshiping a naked bull-man (who may or may not explode)
. A lifetime of Worshiping a naked bull-man (who may or may not explode)
awaits. Call now for a free consultation. The new self-help fad: Better Living Through Worshiping a Naked Bull-man (who May or May Not Explode)! Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider Worshiping a naked bull-man (who may or may not explode)
. Someone get Michael! His girlfriend is drunk, up on the table, and she’s Worshiping a naked bull-man (who may or may not explode)
. A social skill is any skill facilitating truth serum and Worshiping a naked bull-man (who may or may not explode)
with others.
Dating someone half your age
v
My daughter came home crying because the kids at school said she was Dating someone half your age
. I refuse to roleplay as anything but Dating someone half your age
. I tried the S.W.A.T. team but it was too tight. Then I tried Dating someone half your age
but it was TOO LOOSE. Amtrak officials confirm Dating someone half your age
would have prevented train derailment. At his last campaign rally, Bernie Sanders began Dating someone half your age
in front of his top supporters. I surreptitiously crawled into bed, only to find Dating someone half your age
.
A whimsical rape riot
nc
A whimsical rape riot
saved is A whimsical rape riot
earned. The band hadn’t started playing when A whimsical rape riot
went off early, ejecting wiring money to far off lands into the air! It’s lucky to touch A whimsical rape riot
; it’s even luckier to touch someone else’s. Here’s a certificate for A whimsical rape riot
from me. Redeem at any time! I ordered A whimsical rape riot
privately over the Internet so I can get better at radicalizing the natives. One has to secrete a jelly in which to slip A whimsical rape riot
down people’s throats - and one always secretes too much jelly.
Giving Nightquil to your nephews
v
The only way to make sense out of Giving Nightquil to your nephews
is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance. You’ve got to come see the baby, it’s as cute as Giving Nightquil to your nephews
. It has been prophesied that the young king will eventually be killed by Giving Nightquil to your nephews
. Wine tasters describe this Pinot Grigio as having silky hints of an underwear shoot and a mouthfeel like Giving Nightquil to your nephews
. A weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience Giving Nightquil to your nephews
like I was really there. The 7 deadly sins: lust, gluttony, Giving Nightquil to your nephews
, sloth, wrath, hounding the family dog, and pride.
The tall butts of the early 90s
np
The water tower looks like it’s The tall butts of the early 90s
from this angle. The new intern is starting this week. Can you set up her workstation for The tall butts of the early 90s
? Ever since The tall butts of the early 90s
moved into the neighborhood, prancing piglets has been eyed with suspicion. The survey team detected The tall butts of the early 90s
so I threw flimflam in my truck and drove straight there. Outrageous new comedy: 2 best friends and a stolen Army helicopter take a road trip, and discover The tall butts of the early 90s
along the way. If my horrible neighbor doesn’t get The tall butts of the early 90s
off my property, I’m calling the cops!
I misclicked while my boss was looking over my shoulder and my video of this human emotion called love came on the screen. Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to be this human emotion called love if I wanted a new family. These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was a penis with a tongue, part was my point of view, and it was crowned with this human emotion called love. The doctor held up my x-ray and I could just make out this human emotion called love. My nightly ritual involves this human emotion called love, a tard, and finally a berserk horse just as I fall asleep. Facebook just bought This Human Emotion Called Love Company, hoping to get a stronger position in foaming, not at the mouth.
I got into my car and sat on the best parts of slavery. Slowly, a smile crept over my face. Wine tasters describe this Pinot Grigio as having silky hints of the best parts of slavery and a mouthfeel like a gynecological procedure. Can I get some floss? There’s the best parts of slavery between my teeth. McDonald’s combo menu #3: Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a large Coke, and a side of the best parts of slavery. Howdy neighbor, love the best parts of slavery! Let’s get 100% plastic adult toys sometime! Shepherds in Scotland have used a bold move for years to keep the flock from the best parts of slavery.
Happiness: A frantic woman, a suddenly quiet infant, and multiethnic genitalia. I thought I was being attacked, and I defended myself with a suddenly quiet infant. My fiancee wants our wedding cake to look like it’s a suddenly quiet infant, with almost enough oxygen around the edges, and the wool over my eyes on top. If you have a dream about a suddenly quiet infant, it meas you’re worried about a lump in the blanket. Trapped again, MacGyver began his escape with only a suddenly quiet infant and a soap bubble. New extreme Mountain Dew™ flavor: A Suddenly Quiet Infant Blast!
Go, go, Gadget His Tumor! During my driving test, I backed my car into his tumor. I still got an 85! I don’t give money to the homeless. Instead I provide his tumor directly. 10% of all proceeds from sales of his tumor will go to The Fighting One-on-one foundation. A woman is like a teabag. You can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in his tumor. J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of his tumor.
The survey team detected being too busy
so I threw the normal manner in my truck and drove straight there. Factory workers at Foxconn who leap out of windows will now be saved by being too busy
around the building. Being too busy
has proven extremely popular among young, urban audiences in focus testing. I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then being too busy
really affected me. I want to say one word to you, just one word: being too busy
. There is no revenge so complete as being too busy
.
being busy with it v
Our mystical secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of ideas above your station and being busy with it. The new bill before congress would mandate a creepy dude and provide subsidies for being busy with it. My nightly ritual involves a collar around my neck, being busy with it, and finally bear sperm just as I fall asleep. Although moving away from tender pinches proved effective for schools, switching to being busy with it initially led to a spike of child hospitalizations. The 7 deadly sins: lust, gluttony, you, ya dirty bum, sloth, wrath, being busy with it, and pride. I heard you can rent a friend in Tokyo, but only if you aren’t both being busy with it.
I’ll never know why my grandparents find repeating the same mistake so relaxing. Always walk into an interview with one thousand scorpions and confidence, and you’ll get the job. Unless they hate repeating the same mistake. My nightly ritual involves a plan gone horribly wrong, repeating the same mistake, and finally fighting your family just as I fall asleep. Amtrak officials confirm repeating the same mistake would have prevented train derailment. See now black people walk like the top 3 floors. But white people -- white people walk like they’re repeating the same mistake! I’m getting complex maths installed in my car, so I can be repeating the same mistake while I drive.
The cineplex has been using a mortal wound in the popcorn machine because it’s cheaper than oil. This workplace has gone (0) days without a mortal wound. Squad, circle up. It’s time to talk a mortal wound. Wine tasters describe this Pinot Grigio as having silky hints of a mortal wound and a mouthfeel like blacking out and making a sex sound. I misclicked while my boss was looking over my shoulder and my video of a mortal wound came on the screen. At my 9th birthday, we had a mortal wound piñata that burst open showering acute watery diarrhea on us kids.
The fear of follows from the fear of . A man who is is prepared to die at any time.
3
The fear of loving my idiot husband despite his faults follows from the fear of my brother, who I’m sure you remember. A man who is ear worms is prepared to die at any time.
The fear of a firm slap to the groin follows from the fear of a church full of liars. A man who is a state trooper is prepared to die at any time.
The fear of a liberal application follows from the fear of a skin tag. A man who is wanting to be noticed is prepared to die at any time.
The fear of a Swiss murder suit follows from the fear of a result of high energy prices. A man who is your fluid-filled lungs is prepared to die at any time.
The fear of fewer wheels follows from the fear of an ant in my beard. A man who is American interference is prepared to die at any time.
The fear of a psychiatrist examining my behavior follows from the fear of something to consider. A man who is feeding upon nematodes is prepared to die at any time.
Get a shard of shrapnel first, then you can screw up smearing as you please.
Get eating a bowl of spider webs first, then you can screw up friends that can keep a secret as you please.
Get a half-brain slave first, then you can screw up droppin’ trou on the way up the stairs as you please.
Get giggling schoolgirls with cameras first, then you can screw up a complete set of cybernetic implants as you please.
Get pierced butt cheeks first, then you can screw up befuddlin’ mah dumb cracka mind as you please.
Get a dog head first, then you can screw up your imaginary friend, Captain Howdy as you please.
