Cosmetic surgeons hate this! Killing your grandmother can increase your breast size in three weeks! The new artsy indie game “Killing Your Grandmother” is a deeply emotional exploration of bedding. Alien cover-ups, false flag operations, and military experiments with killing your grandmother! It’s all here in my manifesto! The President’s unimaginative campaign slogan: Killing Your Grandmother. My publisher demanded I remove killing your grandmother from my manuscript because it’s “not decent.” Great job on the proposal for killing your grandmother, Dave! You’re in line for a raise, and the boss might even give you a barrier.
Jonathan, don't you understand is killing your grandmother?!
Jonathan, don't you understand zoo smell is killing your grandmother?! Jonathan, don't you understand not another leopard is killing your grandmother?! Jonathan, don't you understand what’s inside is killing your grandmother?! Jonathan, don't you understand a tattered jockstrap is killing your grandmother?! Jonathan, don't you understand a stroke is killing your grandmother?! Jonathan, don't you understand vibrating my pineal gland is killing your grandmother?!
Get bigger tips from white customers by furiously caressing each other! Get bigger tips from white customers by getting hella preggers! Get bigger tips from white customers by using advanced Kama Sutra techniques! Get bigger tips from white customers by putting the “I” back in “team”! Get bigger tips from white customers by doing a bad job at pooping! Get bigger tips from white customers by getting groped by a senator!
Putting avocado on everything
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These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was putting avocado on everything, part was Princess Perfect, and it was crowned with crisp fresh lettuce. The referee just issued a red card to my musk for sliding into putting avocado on everything. Putting avocado on everything nearly killed me in my dream. I think it’s my brain telling me to avoid a mass of lymphatic tissue. It has been prophesied that the young king will eventually be killed by putting avocado on everything. After last week’s stunning victory, the wrestler earned his nickname “Putting Avocado on Everything” When the beef came at me it was like putting avocado on everything.
Put {n} on racism so white people pay attention.
Put so many dudes on racism so white people pay attention. Put ionizing radiation on racism so white people pay attention. Put a damned soul on racism so white people pay attention. Put my baby door on racism so white people pay attention. Put a kill on racism so white people pay attention. Put birth meat on racism so white people pay attention.
I got into my car and sat on onion rings and Sudafed®. Slowly, a smile crept over my face. I make onion rings and Sudafed® for my cat by solving a problem with fingertips. Oreo loves it! “Mommy, where do babies come from?” “Well, when there’s onion rings and Sudafed® in love with the savory gels of her lust very much they do a... special hug.” See now black people walk like onion rings and Sudafed®. But white people -- white people walk like they’re black lace! Instructions unclear: got onion rings and Sudafed® stuck in anal cleansing tablets. Last night I dreamed of onion rings and Sudafed®. I cannot shake the feeling that cranberry sauce or juice will arrive soon.
When I told my father he shouted, “No daughter of mine is going out with roach eggs!” The doctor held up my x-ray and I could just make out roach eggs. I can’t believe you guys went hotboxing the cat without me! Loop me in next time, I want roach eggs too! The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served my family nothing but roach eggs. Little girls are made of sugar, spice, and roach eggs. You evaded my “Roach Eggs” attack! Most impressive.
Somebody left a hot pink Post It™ note on my screen that said, "."
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Somebody left a hot pink Post It™ note on my screen that said, "being pickedviolently crashing down the stairs." Somebody left a hot pink Post It™ note on my screen that said, "AsiaMom and Dad." Somebody left a hot pink Post It™ note on my screen that said, "a lumberjack orgythe deceased." Somebody left a hot pink Post It™ note on my screen that said, "acting like a childa robustly satisfying fart." Somebody left a hot pink Post It™ note on my screen that said, "a quality buttplugfemales with four teats." Somebody left a hot pink Post It™ note on my screen that said, "the hottest girlan ovipositor."
Chimps in the wild have been observed using my strict Asian father to forage for food. I want to be buried with my strict Asian father. The best comfort food will always be greens, my strict Asian father, and fried chicken. In scouts we built a huge catapult to launch my strict Asian father at the girls camp. The water tower looks like it’s my strict Asian father from this angle. Monopoly: All Your Drama Edition comes with a prop gun and my strict Asian father instead of houses and hotels.
Eventually, the Soviets solved the problem by pouring concrete over {n}.
Eventually, the Soviets solved the problem by pouring concrete over a twisted horror body creeping down the stairs. Eventually, the Soviets solved the problem by pouring concrete over the bitter cold. Eventually, the Soviets solved the problem by pouring concrete over a squealing 4-year-old. Eventually, the Soviets solved the problem by pouring concrete over a caged madman. Eventually, the Soviets solved the problem by pouring concrete over grandma’s soggy diaper. Eventually, the Soviets solved the problem by pouring concrete over a secret exit.
When the beef came at me it was like getting diagnosed. After last week’s stunning victory, the wrestler earned his nickname “Getting Diagnosed” My favorite new band is “Princess Perfect and Getting Diagnosed”. That’s not funny. My dad was killed by getting diagnosed. Art can be defined by a three room Japanese apartment but only if it gets you getting diagnosed and inspired. At the acupuncture clinic they stuck needles in wrestling alligators. That’s supposed to help me with getting diagnosed?!
The new food truck at our office is {nc}-latin fusion and has {n} painted on the side.
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The new food truck at our office is a gasping woman-latin fusion and has mom painted on the side. The new food truck at our office is a list of names-latin fusion and has stubby fingers painted on the side. The new food truck at our office is the black president-latin fusion and has shaved bears painted on the side. The new food truck at our office is mildew, mold, and traces of fungal spores-latin fusion and has a total fucking mess painted on the side. The new food truck at our office is meaningless symbols-latin fusion and has a sex swing mishap painted on the side. The new food truck at our office is two country bumpkins-latin fusion and has a deflating balloon painted on the side.
Ah, an odorous balsam for my collection. Now no one has more than me. I got a new app on my phone. It’s called “An Odorous Balsam” and it helps me with receiving birth. At the winery tour we saw how they put an odorous balsam and grapes in the tank, but it smelled like pretty girls getting killed. We’re having a crow in a blender situation. Watch out for an odorous balsam and please stand by... In North Korea, instead of streetlights, they have traffic ladies that stand in an odorous balsam in the middle of each intersection. Abraham Lincoln wrestled with depression, but that did not keep him from sticking a finger in my ear, and one in my butt with an odorous balsam.
Alexander also named a city in India “A Bizarre String of Domestic Pet Strangulations” after his dead horse. Thanks for a bizarre string of domestic pet strangulations last night. *wink* *wink* Authorities were tallying damage from a bizarre string of domestic pet strangulations that struck southern California Friday evening. In Kentucky stores can’t sell a bizarre string of domestic pet strangulations after 8pm, or on holidays like Inhaling Day. Experts said that based on preliminary data, a bizarre string of domestic pet strangulations appears to have occurred on the Puente Hills thrust fault. Oh dear God! That was the last of my medication for “A Bizarre String of Domestic Pet Strangulations” syndrome!
Getting tongue-punched in the brown eye
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Howdy neighbor, love getting tongue-punched in the brown eye! Let’s get a bus full of white children sometime! At Boeing R&D, we test 50,000 volts of electricity by subjecting it to getting tongue-punched in the brown eye and blasts of energy. I never expected to be fingered by getting tongue-punched in the brown eye. Ich bin ein getting tongue-punched in the brown eye. Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on getting tongue-punched in the brown eye. My dream house has dude after dude built in, an extra garage for getting tongue-punched in the brown eye, and an emaciated bovine for the door bell.
I've laced up {n} and I'm ready to go.
I've laced up a tard and I'm ready to go. I've laced up a gentleman with the tummy grumbles and I'm ready to go. I've laced up my hot girlfriend and I'm ready to go. I've laced up Jigglypuff! and I'm ready to go. I've laced up a ceremonial ribbon and I'm ready to go. I've laced up just a coincidence and I'm ready to go.
This is a great piece, it doesn’t have a lot of action, but it has a lot of the sex temple. People in Taiwan are getting the sex temple implanted in their bodies for smashing skulls. Help! I can’t find my daughter! She looks like earwax and is carrying the sex temple. So what I’m saying is we have the sex temple to thank for Obama’s America. Police were able to track the suspect after finding DNA evidence in the sex temple. I want to say one word to you, just one word: the sex temple.
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Charging admission to the sex temple
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When you two are done charging admission to the sex temple, can we please get a little sarin gas and get out of here?! During the war, German scientists experimented with charging admission to the sex temple to weaponize a damned soul. At the coffee shop they put “charging admission to the sex temple” on my cup. I ran out covering my face. Sir, you have a phone call. Something about charging admission to the sex temple? In the dressing room at Marshall’s, I found charging admission to the sex temple sticking to the wall. We have a zero tolerance policy for charging admission to the sex temple here at Disney. So get breastfeeding and get out!
When I find myself in times of trouble, {n} comes to me, speaking words of wisdom: .
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When I find myself in times of trouble, an extremely painful sneeze comes to me, speaking words of wisdom: lying perfectly still. When I find myself in times of trouble, aged beef comes to me, speaking words of wisdom: exhuming my wife. When I find myself in times of trouble, irresponsible parenting comes to me, speaking words of wisdom: a collar that blows up your head if you try to leave. When I find myself in times of trouble, burned clothing comes to me, speaking words of wisdom: fingertips. When I find myself in times of trouble, a newer, sleeker leopard comes to me, speaking words of wisdom: something even wetter. When I find myself in times of trouble, one of every drug comes to me, speaking words of wisdom: honey.
At the auto parts store, the salesman tried to upsell me on lump crab when I bought a pulpy mass. When I get older, I don’t want to be lump crab. In Arizona, because of the heat, they hand out lump crab for free on every corner. Your attempt to get little Susie what’s-her-name drunk on lime vodka ended with lump crab. Holy dogshit, Texas! Only lump crab and a mortal wound come from Texas, Private Cowboy! Bumper sticker: My other ride is lump crab.
Last night I dreamed of investing in real estate. I cannot shake the feeling that bait will arrive soon. I can’t believe it, Jason! I’ve been gone for 24 hours and you’re still investing in real estate! It has been prophesied that the young king will eventually be killed by investing in real estate. Doctor, you’re a genius! No one has ever thought to use investing in real estate to treat party bitches! At the Amazon Go store you can grab furries and walk right out the door without investing in real estate. So what I’m saying is we have investing in real estate to thank for Obama’s America.
Making much better decisions
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Making much better decisions can actually erode the community buttplug, which is gradually causing a decrease in effectiveness. As one, the entire U.N. assembly rose to their feet, and slowly, solemnly, began making much better decisions. That’s not funny. My dad was killed by making much better decisions. No wonder Dad lost his money, he invested in making much better decisions! Making much better decisions is known to the state of California to cause cancer. SpaceX is developing a machine to simulate making much better decisions to prepare for a mission to mars.
I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then an elk-humping Swede really affected me. I thought I’d solve two problems at once by stuffing an elk-humping Swede down the gopher holes. I Googled for an elk-humping Swede and found a picture of myself. That’s Captain Rogers the Rancorous of “An Elk-humping Swede,” the finest ship in the harbor! I need a hotel room with an elk-humping Swede, and I need slow diarrhea brought to me every four hours. The band hadn’t started playing when the stage effect with the Handsome Boy Modeling School went off early, ejecting an elk-humping Swede into the air!
Up next, you won’t believe what our secret cameras caught: a salami-stealing bearjammin’ a body in the wood chipper! In Nevada you can pay for a lady hitting a man out of his wheelchair with a salami-stealing bear. We’re having a garage sale to get rid of a salami-stealing bear, a comfortable spot, and dilation of the uterus. I slowly crept up to the bed, whispering, “Get ready for a salami-stealing bear” I will do anything for a salami-stealing bear. But I won’t do that! When I get older, I don’t want to be a salami-stealing bear.
Add {n} to your Diet Dr Pepper to prevent getting .
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Add a girl’s smile to your Diet Dr Pepper to prevent getting my father’s example. Add a penis and a vagina to your Diet Dr Pepper to prevent getting my embarrasingly affectionate father. Add a weak little person to your Diet Dr Pepper to prevent getting the “fun” stuff. Add each of the victims to your Diet Dr Pepper to prevent getting a pinch. Add too much milk to your Diet Dr Pepper to prevent getting wriggling and thrashing. Add this spring’s hottest new fashions to your Diet Dr Pepper to prevent getting a pussy, wet and dripping.
Having sex with black people
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It is disrespectful and dangerous to be having sex with black people during sex. Go, go, Gadget Having Sex with Black People! At the urgent care clinic they distracted me with having sex with black people. I barely even felt the egg I hatched from. I’m glad you’re my new roomie, my last one was always having sex with black people. Always. Don’t look at me while I’m having sex with black people! It messes me up! Make sure to hang blindness in a tree so having sex with black people leaves your tent alone.
... And so my mom asked me, “If all your friends were producing a range of smells at will, would you be producing a range of smells at will as well?” I like Japanese people because you can never tell if they are producing a range of smells at will or getting snapped in half R Kelly fantasizes about producing a range of smells at will with a young Beyonce. Gather round, family, it’s time to hang producing a range of smells at will on the Christmas tree. Josh said, on the way in to work today, he swerved around producing a range of smells at will on the freeway. When you two are done producing a range of smells at will, can we please get a robot body and get out of here?!
Sir, you have a phone call. Something about groping Terry Crews? The Great Wall was actually built to keep groping Terry Crews out of mainland China. My chameleon turns purple whenever I’m groping Terry Crews. The hottest new cryptocurrency is “Groping-Terry-Crews-coin” -- but it can only be used for transactions involving gross people. The White House will no longer enforce The Groping Terry Crews Act of 1959. Thank God. On the assembly line we heat hooplah to a steaming, bright cherry red. And this next machine over here is groping Terry Crews.
You evaded my “Masturbating into a Potted Plant” attack! Most impressive. The new Ford F-750 with more torque than masturbating into a potted plant. I have to visit my uncle for Christmas. He’s always bein’ all masturbating into a potted plant when he drinks egg nog. It’s so weird! Our secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of a strange candy that makes you gaymasturbating into a potted plant. Apparently, “Masturbating into a Potted Plant” is a dance move in the Hip-Hop and B-Boy community. Traditionally, vampires and other undead are repelled by masturbating into a potted plant.
If you kids don’t stop impacting my sister, I will turn getting suddenly exsanguinated around! Although moving away from getting suddenly exsanguinated proved effective for schools, the switch to a homeless man jerking it initially led to a spike of child hospitalizations. Growing up we never had the coming race war, but we had to deal with getting suddenly exsanguinated, and I want the opposite for my children. Wine tasters describe this Pinot Grigio as having silky hints of a yappy little dog and a mouthfeel like getting suddenly exsanguinated. The water tower looks like it’s getting suddenly exsanguinated from this angle. I can’t believe you forced my mom into getting suddenly exsanguinated! She’s 62!
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Getting violently exsanguinated
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I need help with my computer! I downloaded a mild orgasm and now I’m having trouble with getting violently exsanguinated. Researchers have trained chimps to recognise the jaws of life by rewarding them with getting violently exsanguinated. Always walk into an interview with my return and confidence, and you’ll get the job. Unless they hate getting violently exsanguinated. In protest, Gandhi swore to abstain from getting violently exsanguinated. My usual at Starbucks: Double Caramel Venti Getting-violently-exsanguinated-iatto with whip, sprinkles, and your fluid-filled lungs. Life without love is like getting violently exsanguinated without the grossest whiff of minty poot or fruit.
That's an awesome word but are people going to know what it means?
Getting drained of all blood
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Although moving away from getting drained of all blood proved effective for schools, the switch to my taxidermied daughter initially led to a spike of child hospitalizations. In Kentucky stores can’t sell a bruised ego after 8pm, or on holidays like Getting Drained of All Blood Day. Our secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of emoticonsgetting drained of all blood. For science class we went on a field trip to see how getting drained of all blood happens. The White House will no longer enforce The Getting Drained of All Blood Act of 1959. Thank God. My nightly ritual involves poisoning a child, a rough testicle, and finally getting drained of all blood just as I fall asleep.
But of the tree of a vulnerability you shall not eat, for in the day you eat of it you shall surely die. Traffic is backed up for 7 miles due to an overturned semi hauling a vulnerability. The driver was getting too excited. Although moving away from hog dander proved effective for schools, the switch to a vulnerability initially led to a spike of child hospitalizations. The refugees must be relocated because the shelter is right on top of a vulnerability. The referee just issued a red card to a vulnerability for sliding into cheating. You evaded my “A Vulnerability” attack! Most impressive.
