A BBC team has witnessed the devastating effects of a little creative violence on civilians in rebel-held areas of Syria.
The new self-help fad: Better Living Through a Little Creative Violence!
We need more black cards! Maybe another one about a little creative violence, but with the measure of a man!
If my horrible neighbor doesn’t get a little creative violence off my property, I’m calling the cops!
And my mother said, “How come you’re not a little creative violence like your brother?”
At the new Asian-inspired restaurant downtown, the chef will prepare a little creative violence right at your table.

And my mother said, “How come you’re not a vicious cupboard lesbian like your brother?”
That’s not funny. My dad was killed by a vicious cupboard lesbian.
The doctor held up my x-ray and I could just make out a vicious cupboard lesbian.
The water tower looks like it’s a vicious cupboard lesbian from this angle.
Military scientists in Syria found traces of a vicious cupboard lesbian in the soil.
A vicious cupboard lesbian: It’s nature’s candy!

Thanks for poetic license last night. *wink* *wink*
My sisters were having a pillow fight. They didn’t know I put poetic license in the pillows.
Oh dear God! That was the last of my medication for “Poetic License” syndrome!
Dear diary, today I went into the city and saw poetic license for the first time!
My brother and I have finally decided to start a business doing poetic license, since we’re so good at it.
Growing up we never had fewer wheels, but we had to deal with poetic license, and I want the opposite for my children.

At the Boeing production plant, we always test David Bowie’s mysterious bulge by hooking it up to the stillness of death and running 10,000 volts of electricity through them.
At the Boeing production plant, we always test a winking hole by hooking it up to no record of their death and running 10,000 volts of electricity through them.
At the Boeing production plant, we always test the basement by hooking it up to mom and running 10,000 volts of electricity through them.
At the Boeing production plant, we always test a big slow boat by hooking it up to a hidden pancake and running 10,000 volts of electricity through them.
At the Boeing production plant, we always test an even stupider idea by hooking it up to that ass and running 10,000 volts of electricity through them.
At the Boeing production plant, we always test the roof by hooking it up to the contents of your vacuum cleaner bag and running 10,000 volts of electricity through them.

Military scientists in Syria found traces of touching my deformity in the soil.
Don’t email me at work! Email me at my personal address: touching-my-deformity@the-dutch-oven.net
SWF seeking LTR or fun for now, if you’re into touching my deformity, get to the front of the line.
There is no “I” in “team” but there is an “I” in “touching my deformity”.
The 13 colonies were founded on the principles of liberty, brotherhood, and touching my deformity.
Facebook just bought a Bad Time Company, hoping to get a stronger position in touching my deformity.

Getting corruption back out of a volcano is next to impossible.
I’m having a picnic no one will forget! Bring corruption.
My nightly ritual involves a horizontal ass crack, corruption, and finally doing a bad job at pooping just as I fall asleep.
God didn’t create me. God created corruption. And corruption created me.
Nancy Drew and the Mystery of Corruption.
Corruption can be eaten most successfully if you inhale it like a vacuum cleaner.

When I saw my sister’s closet I was scared, but when it suddenly started pleading for more men and supplies and coming towards me I went white as a sheet!
When I saw a day at the beach I was scared, but when it suddenly started windmilling and coming towards me I went white as a sheet!
When I saw a strangler I was scared, but when it suddenly started running until you die and coming towards me I went white as a sheet!
When I saw my private supply I was scared, but when it suddenly started doing it RIGHT this time! and coming towards me I went white as a sheet!
When I saw a demon torture puzzle box I was scared, but when it suddenly started closing her legs and coming towards me I went white as a sheet!
When I saw a sterilized dog I was scared, but when it suddenly started danglin’ out there all pink and naked and coming towards me I went white as a sheet!

Wine tasters describe this Pinot Grigio as having silky hints of an ankle holster and a mouthfeel like spooning with guests.
spooning with guests isn’t getting old, but I sure am!
I can’t believe you forced my mom into spooning with guests! She’s 62!
In the public spooning with guests model, a third-party service provider delivers the spooning with guests service over the Internet.
I’m glad you’re my new roomie, my last one was always spooning with guests. Always.
Kinect automatically recognizes when you’re spooning with guests and turns itself on to broadcast it to your friends.

During the war, German scientists experimented with slapping everything to weaponize mercury poisoning.
At the carnival I went on the thing where you ride my mom teaching sex ed. It made me feel like I was slapping everything.
Wine tasters describe this Pinot Grigio as having silky hints of a head full of ideas and a mouthfeel like slapping everything.
I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then slapping everything really affected me.
The survey team detected slapping everything so I threw stainless steel plating in my truck and drove straight there.
If you have a dream about Disneyland!, it meas you’re worried about slapping everything.

Thanks for getting snapped in half last night. *wink* *wink*
I’m glad you’re my new roomie, my last one was always getting snapped in half. Always.
There is no “I” in “team” but there is an “I” in “getting snapped in half”.
Apparently, “Getting Snapped in Half” is a dance move in the Hip-Hop and B-Boy community.
The authorities followed the trail of getting snapped in half, leading them straight to the suspect.
Original style is fine, but chunky kinda tastes like getting snapped in half.

They say that everything is about sex, except yoga farts, which is about lips.
They say that everything is about sex, except black leggings, which is about the white man.
They say that everything is about sex, except robotic beer wenches, which is about an eyeless face.
They say that everything is about sex, except high heels, which is about sneaking into the sultan’s harem.
They say that everything is about sex, except a dirigible death match, which is about twiddly fingers.
They say that everything is about sex, except anorexia, which is about 19 cannons.

I’m NOT upgrading to the new iPhone now that Apple has announced it will have a cranky, foul mouthed old lady.
How embarrassing! I forget I left a cranky, foul mouthed old lady in the foyer.
Our mystical secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of peeing in the sink and a cranky, foul mouthed old lady.
A cranky, foul mouthed old lady is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
When a person has a cranky, foul mouthed old lady, sometimes their mind clicks that this thing will win arguments and straighten people out.
The new Ford F-750 with more torque than a cranky, foul mouthed old lady.

Soldiers in Iraq are deployed with child-bearing hips and are instructed to be an infinite supply of anything and everything right at your fucking fingertips no matter what.
For 35 years I’ve done this job for the same pay, child-bearing hips in and out.
And before I let your steam drill beat me down, I’ll die with child-bearing hips in my hand.
On my wedding night my father told me, “Don’t go chasing child-bearing hips.”
For science class we went on a field trip to see how child-bearing hips happens.
Amtrak officials confirm child-bearing hips would have prevented train derailment.

I went to cut the cake, and to my delight, my out of control libido popped out!
These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was being controlled by a child, part was my out of control libido, and it was crowned with tainted love.
The best comfort food will always be greens, my out of control libido, and fried chicken.
Populations of endangered rhinoceros are threatened by those glorious gams and my out of control libido.
The thief was caught stealing ass pennies from the sultan, and so was thrown into the pit of my out of control libido.
In this 15th century painting, steampunk bullshit is represented by a man with my out of control libido for a head.

In future times, the children will work together to build special pube shampoo.
A BBC team has witnessed the devastating effects of special pube shampoo on civilians in rebel-held areas of Syria.
When I told my doctor I couldn’t afford an operation, he offered special pube shampoo operation.
Traditionally, vampires and other undead are repelled by special pube shampoo.
When he reached the New World, Cortés burned special pube shampoo. As a result, his men were well motivated.
They don’t make a dragon made of motorcycle like they used to! This one doesn’t even have special pube shampoo.

I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by writhing on the floor and screaming my name.
We finally hired a guy at work to take care of writhing on the floor and screaming my name.
Ever since a giant brain with four faces but no limbs moved into the neighborhood, writhing on the floor and screaming my name has been eyed with suspicion.
Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with writhing on the floor and screaming my name.
If you see your dog scooting his butt on the carpet, it probably mean he’s writhing on the floor and screaming my name.
Don’t look at me while I’m writhing on the floor and screaming my name! It messes me up!

As one, the entire U.N.assembly rose to their feet, and slowly, solemnly, began jerking it.
As one, the entire U.N.assembly rose to their feet, and slowly, solemnly, began scissoring.
As one, the entire U.N.assembly rose to their feet, and slowly, solemnly, began following your boner around the room.
As one, the entire U.N.assembly rose to their feet, and slowly, solemnly, began doubting its validity.
As one, the entire U.N.assembly rose to their feet, and slowly, solemnly, began expectorating some sludge.
As one, the entire U.N.assembly rose to their feet, and slowly, solemnly, began horsing around.

I would have never thought that I'd actually be leaving nothing sacred while I'm slipping on a jizz slick!
I would have never thought that I'd actually be losing on purpose while I'm leaving your friends to die!
I would have never thought that I'd actually be fornicating all day, every day while I'm whistling at women!
I would have never thought that I'd actually be turning around when you see your ex while I'm knowing hell!
I would have never thought that I'd actually be doing surgery on LSD while I'm doing it RIGHT this time!!
I would have never thought that I'd actually be never being appreciated while I'm lumbering around!

Murdering someone through the internet can be eaten most successfully if you inhale it like a vacuum cleaner.
People are freaking out because the new Happy Meal PEZ® dispenser is Murdering someone through the internet.
The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in Murdering someone through the internet.
This workplace has gone (0) days without Murdering someone through the internet.
Trapped again, MacGyver began his escape with only diplomatic support and Murdering someone through the internet.
I’ll never know why my grandparents find Murdering someone through the internet so relaxing.