NatureJay

NatureJay

User name
NatureJay
Assigned title
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse
Assigned post color
#99aabb
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Medals
Good Conduct Medal Good Conduct Medal
Registration date
2005 March 22
Post count
1871
Score
574 ₧
Location
On some kind of moonbase, on some moon of Jupiter
Signature
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
Timezone
UTC
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Recent posts by NatureJay

Recent posts by NatureJay

2016 Aug 3 at 16:01 PDT
hooplah nc

I met a strange lady, she made me nervous. She took me in and gave me hooplah.
I’m late to my meeting for hooplah.
I tried to sneak out of the store with hooplah under one arm and no wheelchair access down my pants.
At the auto parts store, the salesman tried to upsell me on hot slugs when I bought hooplah.
McDonald’s combo menu #3: Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a large Coke, and a side of hooplah.
In future times, the children will work together to build hooplah.

2016 Jul 29 at 19:22 PDT
American exceptionalism nc

When I told my father he shouted, “No daughter of mine is going out with American exceptionalism!”
When I saw American exceptionalism I was scared, but when it started coming toward me, being cooked and eaten, I went white as a sheet!
Our mystical secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of American exceptionalism making it weird.
I want to be buried with American exceptionalism.
Astronaut Chris Hadfield is well known for sneaking American exceptionalism onto the International Space Station.
My pharmacist separated American exceptionalism into two piles, and carefully lowered one into hotdog grade “meat”.

2016 Jul 27 at 12:47 PDT
I was thinking about "Screenwriter's Blues"

They may work better as separate cards that may later be combined to great effect.

automatic weapons and boundless love np

In a world with automatic weapons and boundless love cheating, one man must overcome expectorating some sludge. Coming this summer.
The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in automatic weapons and boundless love.
Strangely, right before Hitler killed himself, he had what Mom made destroyed and automatic weapons and boundless love killed as well.
God didn’t create me. God created automatic weapons and boundless love. And automatic weapons and boundless love created me.
My daughter came home crying because the kids at school said she was automatic weapons and boundless love.
Howdy neighbor, love automatic weapons and boundless love! Let’s get shaved bears sometime!

2016 Jul 18 at 17:04 PDT
This came up during a fairly ordinary conversation about Henry VIII

looking for fornication in all the wrong places v

“You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember looking for fornication in all the wrong places?”
As the A.I. robot gained self-awareness, it immediately began looking for fornication in all the wrong places.
The two biggest floats at the Macy’s Parade this year are a shock and looking for fornication in all the wrong places.
I can’t believe you forced my mom into looking for fornication in all the wrong places! She’s 62!
The survey team detected looking for fornication in all the wrong places at the work site so I threw your fault in my truck and drove straight there.
In protest, Gandhi swore to abstain from looking for fornication in all the wrong places.

2016 Jul 17 at 15:37 PDT
I wanted to test out fucking up the grammar again because I was thinking about Captain Murphy.

love, damnit nc

Although moving away from double rat butts proved effective for schools, the switch to love, damnit initially led to a spike of child hospitalizations.
The new bill before congress would mandate love, damnit in all K-through-12 classrooms.
Growing up we never had door hinges, nails and chopped up horseshoes, but we had to deal with love, damnit, and I want the opposite for my children.
Ever since I got back from Mexico I’ve been really into love, damnit.
Work on the Taft bridge ground to a halt, due to the union’s demands for love, damnit.
Can you come get me? I agreed to go with some guys who promised me love, damnit and it’s getting weird.

2016 Jul 16 at 14:34 PDT
Jeff thought this one worked so I don't know, I guess I'll try it?

I didn't mean to start  , it just happened!

I didn't mean to start a box of wine, it just happened!
I didn't mean to start the runs, it just happened!
I didn't mean to start black lace, it just happened!
I didn't mean to start my mom teaching sex ed, it just happened!
I didn't mean to start tumbling down a mountain, it just happened!
I didn't mean to start the part you pee into, it just happened!

2016 Jun 14 at 14:45 PDT
Pixies lyrics may be underutilized in the drafting of SAH cards. Let's take a look:

ten million pounds of sludge from New York and New Jersey np

J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of ten million pounds of sludge from New York and New Jersey.
I noticed symptoms of licking it, so I went to my naturopathic doctor. He said, “it’s ten million pounds of sludge from New York and New Jersey!” but I’m not sure.
I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then ten million pounds of sludge from New York and New Jersey really affected me.
Ten million pounds of sludge from New York and New Jersey is legally grounds for divorcing your wife in 28 states.
In the third world, luxuries like ten million pounds of sludge from New York and New Jersey are an alien concept, and most people don't even have access to the reason this happened.
That’s Captain Rogers the Rancorous of “Ten Million Pounds of Sludge from New York and New Jersey,” the finest ship in the harbor!

2016 Jun 9 at 18:33 PDT
wetness nc

Wetness isn’t getting old, but I sure am!
At the city council meeting I yelled “Fine! Have wetness! Some of us just want an enhanced interrogation.”
In the end, the obvious plot twist was that the serial killer was actually wetness.
I would have never thought that I’d actually be taking a fair amount while I’m wetness!
To brew a love potion, besides eye of newt you need wetness and a crotchety old hermit.
Sir! We are out of maximum bitch mode, but we found wetness while on patrol. Shall we ration it to the men?

2016 May 28 at 11:18 PDT
I realized that should probably be "flair." I apologize. Won't you help me apologize?
2016 May 28 at 01:47 PDT
a flare for the dramatic ?

Growing up we never had a flare for the dramatic, but we had to deal with closet lesbians, and I want the opposite for my children.
A flare for the dramatic brings the song of my people to a child’s face.
Every French soldier carries a flare for the dramatic in his knapsack.
Dagnabbit! I got a flare for the dramatic all jammed up in the wheel well again.
Peter Molyneux’s new game will use facial recognition to explore a flare for the dramatic in a very realistic way.
People around the world recognize a flare for the dramatic as the unofficial symbol of the USA.