jeff is wizlord

jeff is wizlord

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jeff is wizlord
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2014 November 12
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In the water, thinking about spiders.

Recent posts by jeff is wizlord

Recent posts by jeff is wizlord

2018 Dec 5 at 20:48 PST
An all-white circle of Hawaii's power wives

The cruiseliner struck an all-white circle of Hawaii's power wives and lost power, leaving hundreds of vacationers to deal with a winking hole.
Skin worms is an all-white circle of Hawaii's power wives in the ocean of life!
I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then an all-white circle of Hawaii's power wives really affected me.
Fellating everything in the room with an all-white circle of Hawaii's power wives is a uniquely British problem.
The thief was caught stealing an all-white circle of Hawaii's power wives from the sultan, and so was thrown into the pit of what Mom made.
I will do anything for the power of love. But I won’t do an all-white circle of Hawaii's power wives!

2018 Aug 22 at 19:39 PDT
An extra creamy orgasm

Ok, I’ll admit giant meaty hands might have been a bad idea. But to be fair, I didn’t expect it to result in an extra creamy orgasm.
Aww! My mom packed a terrible lunch: An extra creamy orgasm and closet lesbians.
I’ve been single ever since my girlfriend found out I had an extra creamy orgasm.
The water tower looks like it’s an extra creamy orgasm from this angle.
Original style is fine, but chunky kinda tastes like an extra creamy orgasm.
I don’t know how getting tickled until you bust a nut could lead to an extra creamy orgasm but it probably involves laughing with a mouth full of firecrackers!

2018 Jul 15 at 15:13 PDT
courtesy of someone's profile I just read:

Some frothing whore

Some frothing whore travelled over 20 feet after making it go back in.
When the celestial spheres align, some frothing whore will descend from the heavens.
Some frothing whore like this is enough to kill a horse!
When you two are done getting boinked, can we please get some frothing whore and get out of here?!
Parents are upset with the Spider-Man balloons I sold, which has the hole right in some frothing whore.
Let some frothing whore host your next party, providing white guilt like you’ve never experienced before.

2018 Jul 4 at 20:35 PDT
A fleshy connection

A new study found that giving employees compliments and a fleshy connection can help motivate them, even more than a cash bonus.
In Nevada you can pay for a lady doing surgery on LSD with a fleshy connection.
A woman is like a teabag. You can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in a fleshy connection.
Use the same action as when puffing your cheeks, but the air should pass into a fleshy connection and your cheeks should be relaxed.
A fleshy connection is the only way to say goodbye.
Welcome to Denny’s®! I am a fleshy connection. Would you like to try our new special, daddy juice?

2018 Jan 10 at 14:22 PST
Juicy fruits of the sea

I thought I was alone with juicy fruits of the sea but my mom walked in. We got to screaming and barfing a little and I felt better.
Help! I can’t find my daughter! She looks like a carefully contained fart and is carrying juicy fruits of the sea.
In Arizona, because of the heat, they hand out juicy fruits of the sea for free on every corner.
Ever since the accident, I freeze in terror at the sight of juicy fruits of the sea.
For my last meal I want hate-fucking seasoned lightly with juicy fruits of the sea.
Instructions unclear: got his holiness the pope stuck in juicy fruits of the sea.

2018 Jan 4 at 14:36 PST
Fucking your own butt

No more fucking your own butt at Starbucks.
Senator, I trust you enjoyed fucking your own butt last night. Now, can I count on your vote?
You should come over. I’ve got lots of fucking your own butt at my place.
Trapped again, MacGyver began his escape with only a uniquely British problem and fucking your own butt.
Researchers have trained chimps to recognise fucking your own butt by rewarding them with my middle pocket.
The water tower looks like it’s fucking your own butt from this angle.

2017 Dec 31 at 20:29 PST
Weaponized lesbians

1) A robot may not injure weaponized lesbians, or through inaction allow weaponized lesbians to come to harm.
The new intern is starting this week. Can you set up her workstation for weaponized lesbians?
It’s dangerous to leave weaponized lesbians on the stairs.
I’m getting weaponized lesbians installed in my car, so I can be a bunch of hillbillies buggering each other while I drive.
In Nevada you can pay for a lady screaming and barfing a little with weaponized lesbians.
I was surprised to find bones in weaponized lesbians. Is that normal?

2017 Dec 22 at 17:31 PST
What? No I'm not  , I'm just  !
Play 2

What? No I'm not the song of my people, I'm just a lady making eyes at Dad!
What? No I'm not whatEVER, I'm just a rip!
What? No I'm not googly eyes, I'm just a Russian bride!
What? No I'm not sandpaper, I'm just multiple cameras!
What? No I'm not energy, I'm just pregnancy!
What? No I'm not Velcro shoes, I'm just inertia!

2017 Dec 22 at 17:24 PST
Raw, unadulterated wood

Cosmetic surgeons hate this! Raw, unadulterated wood can increase your breast size in three weeks!
Sometimes, when hiking through the woods, you might cross paths with a protective membrane. So bring raw, unadulterated wood.
Astronaut Chris Hadfield is well known for sneaking raw, unadulterated wood onto the International Space Station.
Until quite recently, raw, unadulterated wood had the highest tensile strength of any substance known to man.
I didn’t mean to start raw, unadulterated wood, it just happened!
When the mixture is bubbling, delicately add raw, unadulterated wood to the pan, while stirring constantly.

2017 Nov 22 at 09:07 PST
An edgy shit

I need help with my computer! I downloaded an edgy shit and now I’m having trouble with the next time.
Sir! We are out of honey, but we found an edgy shit while on patrol. Shall we ration it to the men?
Daddy! There’s an edgy shit under my bed. Kill it kill it!
My kids keep installing an edgy shit on the computer and I think it’s making it slow.
These special lenses help colorblind people see that an edgy shit is being deep inside each other.
This year’s hottest new fashion is an edgy shit on your head.