When California foreskin hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore! In this game you get to collect an odd number of titties and craft California foreskin. If mom hears us talking about California foreskin we’ll be SO grounded! Two best friends and my father’s example take a road trip, and discover California foreskin along the way. Ah, California foreskin for my collection. Now no one has more than me. And my mother said, “How come you’re not California foreskin like your brother?”
California dreaming
vt
In Nevada you can pay for a lady California dreaming with the ’80s. Deep Earth miners in Venezuela struck an enormous ore vein of the taxpayers. Half the country is California dreaming. I couldn’t sleep. I’m too anxious about California dreaming tomorrow. A lifetime of California dreaming awaits. Call now for a free consultation. My kid was acting like deals, so I took away California dreaming privileges. Dwayne Johnson has a secret tattoo that reads, “California dreaming,” with a picture of a horse’s booty.
Now you can enjoy bringing about the apocalypse without the guilt or calories!! Now you can enjoy a lady making eyes at Dad without the guilt or calories!! Now you can enjoy friends without the guilt or calories!! Now you can enjoy a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug without the guilt or calories!! Now you can enjoy being dipped in chocolate without the guilt or calories!! Now you can enjoy stripping without the guilt or calories!!
Opinions are like underwear, but only for adults. Everybody’s got one and they all stink. What separates the winners from the losers is how a person reacts to underwear, but only for adults. Let good people host your next party, providing underwear, but only for adults like you’ve never experienced before. I can’t believe you guys went rubbing my gland without me! Loop me in next time, I want underwear, but only for adults too! Wolves don’t eat underwear, but only for adults, and neither should kings. The cruiseliner struck underwear, but only for adults and lost power, leaving hundreds of vacationers to deal with two F-bombs.
Go, go, Gadget Empowering Women! I slowly crept up to the bed, whispering, “Get ready for empowering women” It smells like Thai food in here... have you been empowering women? Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with empowering women. Don’t shake an ovipositor so hard, it’ll start empowering women. I need help with my computer! I downloaded the whole bottle of sleeping pills and now I’m having trouble with empowering women.
I’m getting a body pillow with a penis installed in my car, so I can be a bisexual's preference while I drive. The refugees must be relocated because the shelter is right on top of a bisexual's preference. Our artisanal process ages a Ouija board for 3 years, before going right into a bisexual's preference, rapidly literally shivering me timbers. The new Ford F-750 with more torque than a bisexual's preference. A bisexual's preference! A bisexual's preference! My kingdom for a bisexual's preference! A bisexual's preference in the hand is worth two in the bush.
A new service offers to vibrate {n} in sync with the ups and downs of {n}.
Play 2
A new service offers to vibrate Pakistani cosmonauts in sync with the ups and downs of bromance. A new service offers to vibrate evil thinking in sync with the ups and downs of white chocolate, if you know what I mean. A new service offers to vibrate a sexual encounter in sync with the ups and downs of an exploding car. A new service offers to vibrate Big Gay in sync with the ups and downs of mighty Zeus. A new service offers to vibrate my fantasy in sync with the ups and downs of feigned sympathy. A new service offers to vibrate a gentle kiss on the teeth in sync with the ups and downs of a pregnant teen.
A new service offers to vibrate your IoT butt-plug in sync with the ups and downs of {n}.
A new service offers to vibrate your IoT butt-plug in sync with the ups and downs of some prick. A new service offers to vibrate your IoT butt-plug in sync with the ups and downs of anal cleansing tablets. A new service offers to vibrate your IoT butt-plug in sync with the ups and downs of a loading screen. A new service offers to vibrate your IoT butt-plug in sync with the ups and downs of morphine. A new service offers to vibrate your IoT butt-plug in sync with the ups and downs of a little lesbian boy. A new service offers to vibrate your IoT butt-plug in sync with the ups and downs of a 100 foot tidal wave.
A new service offers to vibrate {n} in sync with the ups and downs of crypto markets.
A new service offers to vibrate a sloppy blowjob in sync with the ups and downs of crypto markets. A new service offers to vibrate a wet burst in sync with the ups and downs of crypto markets. A new service offers to vibrate Axl Rose and his big teeth in sync with the ups and downs of crypto markets. A new service offers to vibrate Schadenfreude in sync with the ups and downs of crypto markets. A new service offers to vibrate a hidden pancake in sync with the ups and downs of crypto markets. A new service offers to vibrate mammaries in sync with the ups and downs of crypto markets.
She seduces me with a trail of {cp} leading to the bed.
She seduces me with a trail of dark magic leading to the bed. She seduces me with a trail of child-bearing hips leading to the bed. She seduces me with a trail of acute watery diarrhea leading to the bed. She seduces me with a trail of morphine leading to the bed. She seduces me with a trail of sliced vegetables leading to the bed. She seduces me with a trail of cheering children leading to the bed.
Cosmetic surgeons hate this! Raw, unadulterated wood can increase your breast size in three weeks! Sometimes, when hiking through the woods, you might cross paths with a protective membrane. So bring raw, unadulterated wood. Astronaut Chris Hadfield is well known for sneaking raw, unadulterated wood onto the International Space Station. Until quite recently, raw, unadulterated wood had the highest tensile strength of any substance known to man. I didn’t mean to start raw, unadulterated wood, it just happened! When the mixture is bubbling, delicately add raw, unadulterated wood to the pan, while stirring constantly.
What? No I'm not the song of my people, I'm just a lady making eyes at Dad! What? No I'm not whatEVER, I'm just a rip! What? No I'm not googly eyes, I'm just a Russian bride! What? No I'm not sandpaper, I'm just multiple cameras! What? No I'm not energy, I'm just pregnancy! What? No I'm not Velcro shoes, I'm just inertia!
At LAX travelers were horrified to see beef stains spilling onto the baggage carousel, then one after another. Facebook just bought Silicon Valley tech startup Cuts on the Wall Co., tapping into the growing market for beef stains. I heard you were talking about beef stains so I had to come over! Beef stains: It’s nature’s candy! In New York, a new law went into effect at midnight making it legal to buy beef stains from dispensaries. I’ve got a master’s degree in Beef Stains!
Hearing someone's ass jiggle
v
Make sure to hang hearing someone's ass jiggle in a tree so the grossest whiff of minty poot leaves your tent alone. hearing someone's ass jiggle is where conjuring goes to die. Work on the Taft bridge ground to a halt, due to the union’s demands for hearing someone's ass jiggle. Let’s wait for a woman’s ankles to fall asleep, then we can sneak out and get hearing someone's ass jiggle. You wouldn’t think it, but during Prohibition many people were hearing someone's ass jiggle. At the acupuncture clinic they stuck needles in one thousand scorpions. That’s supposed to help me with hearing someone's ass jiggle?!
Ass jiggling noise
v
My favorite new band is “Ass Jiggling Noise and a Reception Area for Social Events”. I heard you can rent a friend in Tokyo, but only if one of you is ass jiggling noise. 10% of all proceeds from sales of a tiny bone fragment will go to The Ass Jiggling Noise Foundation. While I was out the Roomba got into failure and was ass jiggling noise. Ass jiggling noise is the only way to say goodbye. I have to visit my uncle for Christmas. He’s always bein’ all ass jiggling noise when he drinks egg nog. It’s so weird!
Natural home birth
nc
Natural home birth can actually erode a deep cut, which is gradually causing a decrease in effectiveness. I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by natural home birth. Adult videos can have a vanilla scene, or girl on natural home birth, or even some kind of a quality buttplug scene. I like my women like I like natural home birth: gettin’ all up close with closing her legs. I didn’t mean to start natural home birth, it just happened! The night before Easter, we’ll set up natural home birth on the porch to surprise the kids.
"Is this , or am I just being racist?"
"Is this sobbing silently to yourself as the night closes in, or am I just being racist?" "Is this my father’s example, or am I just being racist?" "Is this white chocolate, if you know what I mean, or am I just being racist?" "Is this succumbing to nature, or am I just being racist?" "Is this nut sack hairs, or am I just being racist?" "Is this white people and their fucking problems, or am I just being racist?"
The TSA has made new rules mandating a dog's gentle smile on every commercial flight. Daddy, what’s a dog's gentle smile? The kids at school say it about you and laugh. Tomorrow the city is throwing a ticker-tape to celebrate a dog's gentle smile. I want to be buried with a dog's gentle smile. When I was bodybuilding I tried to dead-lift a dog's gentle smile over my head, but Snoop Dogg’s magic umbrella got in the way. I got so drunk last night that I got a dog's gentle smile all over everyone and everything.
So I agree to go up to the apartment, where I find a woman's crevasse all lubed up, ready to go. Ew! Make sure to hang being picked in a tree so a woman's crevasse leaves your tent alone. The only thing standing in your way is a woman's crevasse. For girl scouts, my daughter went door-to-door giving everyone in my neighborhood a woman's crevasse. The Capital One Venture card earns points when you buy a madhouse! A madhouse!, and you get a woman's crevasse as a sign up bonus. Instructions unclear: got a woman's crevasse stuck in meaningless symbols.
Adult videos can have a vanilla scene, or girl on my first spank bank, or even some kind of a gurgling anus scene. I’m glad you’re my new roomie, my last one was always my first spank bank. Always. The new self-help fad: Better Living Through My First Spank Bank! For 35 years I’ve done this job for the same pay, my first spank bank every single day. In my wild days I was exposing their genitals, among other crimes. They finally caught me doing it with my first spank bank on the New Mexico border. The good news is that I was only barfing because I ate my first spank bank.
In future times, the children will work together to build my Asian lady body. I’m gonna prove the link between my Asian lady body and hands-free massage! You’ll all see! My Asian lady body? That’s my fetish! Can you come get me? I agreed to go with some guys who promised me my Asian lady body and it’s getting weird. My girlfriend kicked your panties, and now she’s my Asian lady body. I want to break up with her but I’m afraid! The only thing standing in your way is my Asian lady body.
Today at school the teacher asked us “what we want to be when we grow up?” I responded: 5 officers who were shot!!! When I was bodybuilding I tried to dead-lift 5 officers who were shot over my head, but a grave error got in the way. The police failed to catch the fleeing suspect because of 5 officers who were shot. I thought I was alone with 5 officers who were shot but my mom walked in. We got to installing an update and I felt better. I love your necklace! It’s 5 officers who were shot, right? It’s huge. It’s wet. It’s sprawled out in the parking lot. It’s 5 officers who were shot.
1) A robot may not injure weaponized lesbians, or through inaction allow weaponized lesbians to come to harm. The new intern is starting this week. Can you set up her workstation for weaponized lesbians? It’s dangerous to leave weaponized lesbians on the stairs. I’m getting weaponized lesbians installed in my car, so I can be a bunch of hillbillies buggering each other while I drive. In Nevada you can pay for a lady screaming and barfing a little with weaponized lesbians. I was surprised to find bones in weaponized lesbians. Is that normal?
I don’t know how brimming with babies could lead to compressed gas but it probably involves disguising fudge as poop! Experts said that based on preliminary data, disguising fudge as poop appears to have occurred on the Puente Hills thrust fault. It’s huge. It’s wet. It’s sprawled out in the parking lot. It’s disguising fudge as poop. Designed as a feature meant to enhance pleasure, the sex toy will robotically call out “disguising fudge as poop,” over and over again while in use. At the coffee shop they put “disguising fudge as poop” on my cup. I ran out covering my face. Disguising-Fudge-as-Poop-a-Roni: the San Francisco treat!
Trolls tricked Microsoft’s teen girl AI, Tay, into making offensive remarks about a police horse kicking Ryan Seacrest in the head. These condom directions are confusing: who is supposed to be closing her legs and where does a police horse kicking Ryan Seacrest in the head come in? At the mall Santa kiosk, the elves were caught sneaking a police horse kicking Ryan Seacrest in the head into women’s purses and bags. Make sure to hang a police horse kicking Ryan Seacrest in the head in a tree so a crouton leaves your tent alone. At my 9th birthday, we had a police horse kicking Ryan Seacrest in the head piñata that burst open showering nothing at all on us kids. I thought I was being attacked, so I defended myself with a police horse kicking Ryan Seacrest in the head.
A police horse kicked Ryan Seacrest in the head and he started {v}.
A police horse kicked Ryan Seacrest in the head and he started human body warmth. A police horse kicked Ryan Seacrest in the head and he started being a bad little boy. A police horse kicked Ryan Seacrest in the head and he started assassinating Kim Jong-un. A police horse kicked Ryan Seacrest in the head and he started farting like a bagpipe. A police horse kicked Ryan Seacrest in the head and he started re-entering the ocean. A police horse kicked Ryan Seacrest in the head and he started anally consuming a walnut.
No more fucking your own butt at Starbucks. Senator, I trust you enjoyed fucking your own butt last night. Now, can I count on your vote? You should come over. I’ve got lots of fucking your own butt at my place. Trapped again, MacGyver began his escape with only a uniquely British problem and fucking your own butt. Researchers have trained chimps to recognise fucking your own butt by rewarding them with my middle pocket. The water tower looks like it’s fucking your own butt from this angle.
Let’s wait for a penis-whitening laser to fall asleep, then we can sneak out and get baby eels. As an homage to humanity, NASA has broadcasted a penis-whitening laser to the vastness of space. I can’t believe you forced my mom into a penis-whitening laser! She’s 62! I found out why I’m always sick... they found a penis-whitening laser in the walls at my office. Every French soldier carries a penis-whitening laser in his knapsack. I never expected to be fingered by a penis-whitening laser.
Getting run over by a mall security robot
v
J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of getting run over by a mall security robot. My spirit animal: getting run over by a mall security robot. For science class we went on a field trip to see how getting run over by a mall security robot happens. Getting run over by a mall security robot is legally grounds for divorcing your wife in 28 states. I can’t believe you guys went getting run over by a mall security robot without me! Loop me in next time, I want an abomination unto God too! I’m getting run over by a mall security robot in the streets, but one thousand scorpions in the sheets.
Stuffing gold up the butt
v
My house. 8 o’clock. Stuffing gold up the butt. These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was killing the Batman, part was stuffing gold up the butt, and it was crowned with a Christian, a Jew, and a Muslim. I’m going to post the new white card "a roll of toilet paper" to SAH. What do you think to stuffing gold up the butt? Gather round, family, it’s time to hang stuffing gold up the butt on the Christmas tree. We have a zero tolerance policy for getting stepped on by a dominatrix here at Disney. So get stuffing gold up the butt and get out! Go, go, Gadget Stuffing Gold up the Butt!
porkin’ in the streets, bathwater in the sheets. (Replacement) hiding the elderly in the streets, my first time in the sheets. (Replacement) that sack of shit in the streets, a prime cut of steak in the sheets. (Replacement) a sociopath in the streets, exploding from both ends in the sheets. (Replacement) a can of paint on a rope in the streets, torturing your family in the sheets. (Replacement) a novelty gag dildo in the streets, a puffy penis costume in the sheets. (Replacement)
I am ever less confident as time goes on that I'm not posting dupes.
Depravity
nc
Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on depravity. When I was bodybuilding I tried to dead-lift a dream over my head, but depravity got in the way. The doctor held up my x-ray and I could just make out depravity. I got into my car and sat on depravity. Slowly, a smile crept over my face. Growing up we never had a dusty butthole, but we had to deal with depravity, and I want the opposite for my children. It’s lucky to touch depravity; it’s even luckier to touch mine.
Trading sex for favors
v
Yeah right Charles! I know you’re cheating on me! How do you explain trading sex for favors? Go, go, Gadget Trading Sex for Favors! My chameleon turns purple whenever I’m trading sex for favors. My financial analyst has advised me to invest my fortune in trading sex for favors. Dear diary, today I went into the city and saw trading sex for favors for the first time! A couple in Memphis was arrested after allegedly trading sex for favors right in front of their children.
Zeus' Thunderbolt
n
At the acupuncture clinic they stuck needles in a button labelled “kill”. That’s supposed to help me with Zeus' Thunderbolt?! What separates the winners from the losers is how a person reacts to Zeus' Thunderbolt. There is no revenge so complete as Zeus' Thunderbolt. We’re having a Vietnamese landmine situation. Watch out for Zeus' Thunderbolt and please stand by... Zeus' Thunderbolt is an elite black ops unit of the United States Army that was established by a plug for the other hole. Today you’re on the receiving end of Zeus' Thunderbolt.
Don't worry the script Taylor uses to review/add cards detects dupes and near dupes automatically.
Fresh fruit
nc
I will do anything for fresh fruit. But I won’t do that! Amtrak officials confirm fresh fruit would have prevented train derailment. The night before Easter, we’ll set up fresh fruit on the porch to surprise the kids. I found out why I’m always sick... they found fresh fruit in the walls at my office. Last night I dreamed of subduing your cell-mate and making him your wife. I cannot shake the feeling that fresh fruit will arrive soon. “You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember fresh fruit?”
That weird tree in the backyard had started growing {p}.
That weird tree in the backyard had started growing sudsy bodies. That weird tree in the backyard had started growing all white moms. That weird tree in the backyard had started growing one of every drug. That weird tree in the backyard had started growing cooties. That weird tree in the backyard had started growing nasty boys. That weird tree in the backyard had started growing endangered animals.
Deep-fried Snickers bars at various stages of consumption
np
In future times, the children will work together to build deep-fried Snickers bars at various stages of consumption. Ha! You activated my trap card, “Deep-fried Snickers Bars at Various Stages of Consumption!” You’re cursed with my swollen jaw until the end of the game! I have to visit my uncle for Christmas. He’s always bein’ all deep-fried Snickers bars at various stages of consumption when he drinks egg nog. It’s so weird! Don’t look at me while I’m deep-fried Snickers bars at various stages of consumption! It messes me up! We can’t ALL get away with treating women like deep-fried Snickers bars at various stages of consumption. Rescue crews with a helicopter took 3 hours to rescue a bus full of deep-fried Snickers bars at various stages of consumption hanging over the freeway.
I dug around for hours in the trash but never found a robot escort with a self lubricating asshole. The biggest float in the Macy’s Parade this year is a robot escort with a self lubricating asshole. Peter Molyneux’s new game will use facial recognition to explore a robot escort with a self lubricating asshole in a very realistic way. The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in a robot escort with a self lubricating asshole. I love your necklace! It’s a robot escort with a self lubricating asshole, right? The new artsy indie game “A Syringe of Tabasco” is a deeply emotional exploration of a robot escort with a self lubricating asshole.
