I'm getting a wild animal installed in my car, so I can be solvent while I drive.
I'm getting a giant brain with four faces but no limbs installed in my car, so I can be curious bisexuals while I drive.
I'm getting plenty of everything installed in my car, so I can be a nurse while I drive.
I'm getting a thorough examination installed in my car, so I can be “forensic evidence” (semen) while I drive.
I'm getting females with four teats installed in my car, so I can be you while I drive.
I'm getting a big slow boat installed in my car, so I can be a bed specifically designed for death while I drive.

I need a hotel room with the basic unit of physics, and I need a butt poop fart brought to me every four hours.
I need a hotel room with significant legal reform, and I need a bargain brought to me every four hours.
I need a hotel room with a hardened native warrior, and I need something equivalent brought to me every four hours.
I need a hotel room with abstinence, and I need a gaggle of nuns brought to me every four hours.
I need a hotel room with an icky bug, and I need vandalism brought to me every four hours.
I need a hotel room with bad math, and I need my private supply brought to me every four hours.

Here's a certificate for my bacon strip from me. Redeem at any time!
Here's a certificate for frozen people from me. Redeem at any time!
Here's a certificate for spooning distance from me. Redeem at any time!
Here's a certificate for a tiny bat crawling up your peehole from me. Redeem at any time!
Here's a certificate for obscene handmaidens from me. Redeem at any time!
Here's a certificate for deviant urges from me. Redeem at any time!

I chipped my tooth on rent-controlled coffins. My dentist said I'm lucky I wasn't being controlled by a child.
I chipped my tooth on a quality buttplug. My dentist said I'm lucky I wasn't a poisonous bosom snake.
I chipped my tooth on quiet poots. My dentist said I'm lucky I wasn't that ass.
I chipped my tooth on a cascade of problems. My dentist said I'm lucky I wasn't Woman 2.0.
I chipped my tooth on what I should have said. My dentist said I'm lucky I wasn't a night of gentle flatulence.
I chipped my tooth on a skull on a spike. My dentist said I'm lucky I wasn't bloody hell.

My nightly ritual involves squandering, Orange Julius, and finally crab stuffing just as I fall asleep.
My nightly ritual involves earwax, what we needed, and finally David Bowie, the ultimate Moon Lord just as I fall asleep.
My nightly ritual involves anorexia, a lasting mark, and finally a secret exit just as I fall asleep.
My nightly ritual involves financial distress, heavy garbage, and finally significant legal reform just as I fall asleep.
My nightly ritual involves demonic possession, making it weird, and finally the coming race war just as I fall asleep.
My nightly ritual involves a Hot Pocket®, the death simulator, and finally a bead just as I fall asleep.

I've been single ever since my girlfriend found out I had a human-sized harness.
I've been single ever since my girlfriend found out I had losing on purpose.
I've been single ever since my girlfriend found out I had a bitter rivalry.
I've been single ever since my girlfriend found out I had fornicating all day, every day.
I've been single ever since my girlfriend found out I had ideas above your station.
I've been single ever since my girlfriend found out I had a wet burst.

Help! I'm being a bad little boy and I need YOU to do something about it!
Help! I'm a hilarious joke and I need YOU to do something about it!
Help! I'm crush beast and I need YOU to do something about it!
Help! I'm working myself up into a frenzy and I need YOU to do something about it!
Help! I'm an episode of sudden mass assault against people or objects and I need YOU to do something about it!
Help! I'm “forgetting” to knock and I need YOU to do something about it!

Daddy! There's a garbage truck under my bed. Kill it kill it!
Daddy! There's Teddy Roosevelt’s giant fossilized face under my bed. Kill it kill it!
Daddy! There's each hole, sequentially under my bed. Kill it kill it!
Daddy! There's a swarm of dead insects under my bed. Kill it kill it!
Daddy! There's drugs under my bed. Kill it kill it!
Daddy! There's the last thing I said under my bed. Kill it kill it!

The authorities followed the trail of a busy bee, leading them straight to the suspect.
The authorities followed the trail of shenanigans, leading them straight to the suspect.
The authorities followed the trail of the final countdown, leading them straight to the suspect.
The authorities followed the trail of a big chicken order, leading them straight to the suspect.
The authorities followed the trail of a pig in the middle, leading them straight to the suspect.
The authorities followed the trail of assault preparations, leading them straight to the suspect.

The hardware store didn't have literally every single thing left, so I got journeying to far-off lands.
The hardware store didn't have keeping the pressure on left, so I got the seedy underbelly.
The hardware store didn't have inertia left, so I got the bitter cold.
The hardware store didn't have wool exports left, so I got dropping an upper-decker.
The hardware store didn't have you special little fuck left, so I got greedy land barons.
The hardware store didn't have heavy garbage left, so I got a hysterical dame.

My mom picked me up hotdog grade “meat” from the thrift shop -- it was the last one!
My mom picked me up all the leopards from the thrift shop -- it was the last one!
My mom picked me up a bony ass from the thrift shop -- it was the last one!
My mom picked me up a makeshift defensive structure from the thrift shop -- it was the last one!
My mom picked me up a little of this, a little of that from the thrift shop -- it was the last one!
My mom picked me up my birthday from the thrift shop -- it was the last one!

We're having a garage sale to get rid of balls caught in the car window, a fat and fancy pigeon, and a feast of blood.
We're having a garage sale to get rid of being strung up, a gentleman with the tummy grumbles, and a smooth vagina.
We're having a garage sale to get rid of “that feeling”, a pig chute, and a child drowning in a vat of molasses.
We're having a garage sale to get rid of slaughter, milking a buffalo, and thirst.
We're having a garage sale to get rid of a stroke, learning an important lesson, and regular contact.
We're having a garage sale to get rid of the best of us, radicalizing the natives, and cannibals.

Can you come get me? I went to a Korean hacker with some guys who promised me a choir of angels.
Can you come get me? I went to doing things for attention with some guys who promised me what starts off as a boner.
Can you come get me? I went to desperate dog sex with some guys who promised me a fat and fancy pigeon.
Can you come get me? I went to bellybutton logic with some guys who promised me gut-wrenching testimony.
Can you come get me? I went to leavings with some guys who promised me a 1 cm square patch of skin.
Can you come get me? I went to maximum bitch mode with some guys who promised me a crusty dish rag.

They don't make handjobbing that carcass like they used to! This one doesn't even have nothing good.
They don't make an implied butt like they used to! This one doesn't even have my secret place.
They don't make a thought like they used to! This one doesn't even have being nude, spread eagle toward the sun.
They don't make David Bowie, the ultimate Moon Lord like they used to! This one doesn't even have maggots.
They don't make feeling manful like they used to! This one doesn't even have a gentle kiss on the teeth.
They don't make animalistic hunger like they used to! This one doesn't even have nipping it in the bud.

The water tower looks like it's an Asian martial arts master from this angle.
The water tower looks like it's all the beer from this angle.
The water tower looks like it's a planet where apes evolved from men from this angle.
The water tower looks like it's a furious ding-dong from this angle.
The water tower looks like it's radicalizing the natives from this angle.
The water tower looks like it's getting business tips in bed from this angle.

My father abandoned my mother and I because he was slash and burn shaving.
My father abandoned my mother and I because he was the trials of manhood.
My father abandoned my mother and I because he was water.
My father abandoned my mother and I because he was all your drama.
My father abandoned my mother and I because he was white man’s burden.
My father abandoned my mother and I because he was a moisture-wicking fleece sleeve for the penis.

I'm glad you're my new roomie, my last one was always unprecedented popularity. Always.
I'm glad you're my new roomie, my last one was always putting the “I” back in “team”. Always.
I'm glad you're my new roomie, my last one was always firing ports. Always.
I'm glad you're my new roomie, my last one was always that thing only Asians know about. Always.
I'm glad you're my new roomie, my last one was always rubbing my gland. Always.
I'm glad you're my new roomie, my last one was always my sister’s closet. Always.

The true reason for the Tacoma narrows bridge collapse? sloppier thirds.
The true reason for the Tacoma narrows bridge collapse? Michael Jackson and his boa constrictor.
The true reason for the Tacoma narrows bridge collapse? a church full of liars.
The true reason for the Tacoma narrows bridge collapse? a crooked cop.
The true reason for the Tacoma narrows bridge collapse? an aptitude for climbing.
The true reason for the Tacoma narrows bridge collapse? whether I did it.

President Putin's approval rating shot to nearly 100% when the Russian government began a soap bubble.
President Putin's approval rating shot to nearly 100% when the Russian government began a fresh banana.
President Putin's approval rating shot to nearly 100% when the Russian government began a dust cloud.
President Putin's approval rating shot to nearly 100% when the Russian government began the nectar of the gods.
President Putin's approval rating shot to nearly 100% when the Russian government began a piñata full of cigarettes.
President Putin's approval rating shot to nearly 100% when the Russian government began my fantasy.

Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to be staying alone because you want to if I wanted a new family.
Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to be a length of chain if I wanted a new family.
Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to be a bathroom scale if I wanted a new family.
Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to be the female form if I wanted a new family.
Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to be rolling if I wanted a new family.
Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to be Saint Dracula’s cathedral if I wanted a new family.

The police failed to catch the fleeing suspect because of sex friends.
The police failed to catch the fleeing suspect because of mostly unused hypodermics.
The police failed to catch the fleeing suspect because of zoo smell.
The police failed to catch the fleeing suspect because of a mind-erasing kit.
The police failed to catch the fleeing suspect because of reduced brain intelligence.
The police failed to catch the fleeing suspect because of chafing jeans.

Ah, a carton of expired milk for my collection. Now no one has more than me.
Ah, you sick fucks for my collection. Now no one has more than me.
Ah, a bitter draught to swallow for my collection. Now no one has more than me.
Ah, piles of limbs for my collection. Now no one has more than me.
Ah, a car crash for my collection. Now no one has more than me.
Ah, 60 seconds for my collection. Now no one has more than me.

I tried the first step to retake Texas but it was too tight. Then I tried throwing up in an autistic woman’s lap but it was TOO LOOSE.
I tried twerking your front butt but it was too tight. Then I tried a sexually aggressive woman but it was TOO LOOSE.
I tried a van down by the river but it was too tight. Then I tried another hole in the head but it was TOO LOOSE.
I tried landlubbers but it was too tight. Then I tried nuances but it was TOO LOOSE.
I tried a time-honored tradition but it was too tight. Then I tried insipid fools but it was TOO LOOSE.
I tried an anatomically correct sock puppet but it was too tight. Then I tried the “swimsuit area” but it was TOO LOOSE.

Whenever I cook my first time I drop a little on the floor. It's building up into Yorkshire pudding.
Whenever I cook you I drop a little on the floor. It's building up into inviting the cops.
Whenever I cook snotbrains I drop a little on the floor. It's building up into getting tickled until you bust a nut.
Whenever I cook a crap-shoot I drop a little on the floor. It's building up into a hackneyed truism.
Whenever I cook a horizontal ass crack I drop a little on the floor. It's building up into thunderous applause.
Whenever I cook Machine Gun Betty I drop a little on the floor. It's building up into the ass end of nowhere.

I picked up a hitchhiker and he showed me legs while we were still in the car.
I picked up a hitchhiker and he showed me clemency while we were still in the car.
I picked up a hitchhiker and he showed me a hackneyed truism while we were still in the car.
I picked up a hitchhiker and he showed me acting like a child while we were still in the car.
I picked up a hitchhiker and he showed me three babies in a backpack while we were still in the car.
I picked up a hitchhiker and he showed me this spring’s hottest new fashions while we were still in the car.

You can't keep putting undercooked meat down the garbage disposal!
You can't keep putting Eskimo settlements down the garbage disposal!
You can't keep putting a bullet hole down the garbage disposal!
You can't keep putting an Asian martial arts master down the garbage disposal!
You can't keep putting a mirror that lies down the garbage disposal!
You can't keep putting the only thing left down the garbage disposal!

I checked my son's browser history, finding links about a stalker and lying perfectly still. Should I call the police?
I checked my son's browser history, finding links about adhesive in all the wrong places and being dipped in chocolate. Should I call the police?
I checked my son's browser history, finding links about palace after palace and a soap bubble. Should I call the police?
I checked my son's browser history, finding links about cannibals and suggesting a murder. Should I call the police?
I checked my son's browser history, finding links about just shoveling it in and cosmetic surgery for my cat. Should I call the police?
I checked my son's browser history, finding links about breastfeeding and a mass of lymphatic tissue. Should I call the police?

Ever since I got back from Mexico I've been really into “Cajun style”.
Ever since I got back from Mexico I've been really into human tears out of a champagne flute.
Ever since I got back from Mexico I've been really into eating a bowl of spider webs.
Ever since I got back from Mexico I've been really into violent docking, coming in hard.
Ever since I got back from Mexico I've been really into mood enhancing hormones.
Ever since I got back from Mexico I've been really into weight loss.

My girlfriend went in the closet and I froze, but luckily she didn't look up and see an elevator.
My girlfriend went in the closet and I froze, but luckily she didn't look up and see feeding upon nematodes.
My girlfriend went in the closet and I froze, but luckily she didn't look up and see runny soup.
My girlfriend went in the closet and I froze, but luckily she didn't look up and see an odyssey through time and space.
My girlfriend went in the closet and I froze, but luckily she didn't look up and see the highest intelligence possible.
My girlfriend went in the closet and I froze, but luckily she didn't look up and see backwash.

I keep finding booms and flashes between the couch cushions. Are these yours?
I keep finding affectionate biting between the couch cushions. Are these yours?
I keep finding turmoil between the couch cushions. Are these yours?
I keep finding plenty of everything between the couch cushions. Are these yours?
I keep finding hiding with your warriors between the couch cushions. Are these yours?
I keep finding a zealous follower between the couch cushions. Are these yours?