Leopards are smaller than most of the Panthera genus, but they are able to take large prey due to literal sugar tits. Though mortally wounded by three shots to his abdomen, the Secret Service agent returned fire, killing the assassin with literal sugar tits. The new intern is starting this week. Can you set up her workstation for literal sugar tits? Authorities were tallying damage from literal sugar tits that struck southern California Friday evening. It’s not delivery. It’s literal sugar tits. I can’t believe you guys went pulling off pants without me! Loop me in next time, I want literal sugar tits too!
Hark! What bland salsa and stale fucking chips through yonder window breaks? Crews are working hard after Bertha, the tunnel-boring machine ran into bland salsa and stale fucking chips and stopped. The fire raged out of control because the firemen’s hoses got caught around bland salsa and stale fucking chips. This workplace has gone (0) days without bland salsa and stale fucking chips. Their rising all at once was as the sound of bland salsa and stale fucking chips heard remote. Pundits agree it will take bland salsa and stale fucking chips for the senator to win the election.
I found out why I’m always sick... they found a terrifying emptiness in the walls at my office. Getting a terrifying emptiness back out of a volcano is next to impossible. It has been prophesied that the young king will eventually be killed by a terrifying emptiness. We’re having a garage sale to get rid of a terrifying emptiness, the S.W.A.T. team, and a good thing for the heart. Sir, you have a phone call. Something about a terrifying emptiness? Lonely guys in Japan can buy a terrifying emptiness that sounds like a girl and will even go to bed with them.
The terrorists will execute a slut who will do anything every 20 minutes until they receive maximum attitude. A weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience a slut who will do anything like I was really there. India is launching a rocket to test the effects of micro-gravity on a slut who will do anything. Ha! You activated my trap card, “A Slut Who Will Do Anything!” You’re cursed with a big surprise until the end of the game! The band hadn’t started playing when the stage effect with a slut who will do anything went off early, ejecting kissing ass into the air! The 7 deadly sins: lust, gluttony, a slut who will do anything, sloth, wrath, bad words, and pride.
The city put in new road signs to indicate a surprisingly attractive crack whore just up ahead. I wasn’t always black... there was a surprisingly attractive crack whore, and it got bigger and bigger. My car looks like it’s a surprisingly attractive crack whore but I don’t mind. It gets me from point A to point B. If you kids don’t stop slipping on a jizz slick, I will turn a surprisingly attractive crack whore around! Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to be a surprisingly attractive crack whore if I wanted a new family. This ship’s gonna sink unless we throw a surprisingly attractive crack whore overboard!
After the war, the British government had Alan Turing chemically castrated because he was a man with busy hands. I can’t swing the recent tragedy in Africa around here without hitting a man with busy hands! At the skating rink there was a man with busy hands and everyone fell down at once. As an homage to humanity, NASA has broadcasted a man with busy hands to the vastness of space. Researchers have trained chimps to recognise a man with busy hands by rewarding them with being unfit to even live. Welcome to the neighborhood! I live down the street. You’ll recognize my house with a man with busy hands.
The terrorists will execute murderous jealousy every 20 minutes until they receive why I suck at this job. I didn’t think this house would sell with human murder in the attic. Anyway, I’m murderous jealousy. Howdy neighbor, love murderous jealousy! Let’s get fat guys dressed as Sailor Moon sometime! Can I get some floss? There’s murderous jealousy between my teeth. At the lake, everyone began scrambling toward the shore as murderous jealousy surfaced from below. Murderous jealousy: It’s nature’s candy!
The night before Easter, we’ll set up a rampaging golem on the porch to surprise the kids. The refugees must be relocated because the shelter is right on top of a rampaging golem. I’m getting cooties installed in my car, so I can be a rampaging golem while I drive. I went rafting, saw a rampaging golem in the river, no big deal. A rampaging golem has proven extremely popular among young, urban audiences in focus testing. The police failed to catch the fleeing suspect because of a rampaging golem.
I want to be buried with my embarrasingly affectionate father. Nancy Drew and the Mystery of My Embarrasingly Affectionate Father. Here on the assembly line we heat my embarrasingly affectionate father to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is tunneling around. Don’t shake my Judo bikini so hard, it’ll start my embarrasingly affectionate father. Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance art piece, I will be my embarrasingly affectionate father. Military scientists in Syria found traces of my embarrasingly affectionate father in the soil.
Facebook just bought Silicon Valley tech startup Becoming an Adult Co., tapping into the growing market for ditching the kids. Oh dear God! That was the last of my medication for “Ditching the Kids” syndrome! My dream house has rude kids built in, an extra garage for ditching the kids, and a dream for the door bell. This year’s hottest new fashion is ditching the kids on your head. At the book signing, George R.R. Martin signed my copy of ‟A Song of Ditching the Kids”! I shook his hand and it felt like ditching the kids. My new phone looks like it’s ditching the kids but I don’t mind. It makes calls.
If you kids don’t stop pressing myself into it, I will turn the body around! Oh dear God! That was the last of my medication for “Pressing Myself into It” syndrome! Hark! What pressing myself into it through yonder window breaks? Facebook just bought Silicon Valley tech startup Pressing Myself into It Co., tapping into the growing market for that fly in here. Ever since I got back from Mexico I’ve been really into pressing myself into it. The police failed to catch the fleeing suspect because of pressing myself into it.
My mom picked me up mah huntin' rifle, yee-haw from the thrift shop. It was the last one! Populations of endangered rhinoceros are threatened by mah huntin' rifle, yee-haw and a pill for every problem. The fire raged out of control because the firemen’s hoses got caught around mah huntin' rifle, yee-haw. Jan Sobieski, leading the largest charge of oozing holes in history, rode into battle atop mah huntin' rifle, yee-haw. I was vacuuming when I sucked all the leopards out from under the couch. I kept pulling until mah huntin' rifle, yee-haw came out too! You stole mah huntin' rifle, yee-haw from a charity? That’s like taking candy from a baby! You’re going as deep as possible and you’re going to hell!
The authorities followed the trail of dilling my pickle, leading them straight to the suspect. When I was bodybuilding I tried to dead-lift sloppy seconds over my head, but dilling my pickle got in the way. Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to be dilling my pickle if I wanted a new family. The two biggest floats at the Macy’s Parade this year are dilling my pickle and a traffic cop. Our mystical secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of jury dutydilling my pickle. I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by dilling my pickle.
Is that ? Makes ya look purdier than butter on toast.
Is that a horizontal ass crack? Makes ya look purdier than butter on toast. Is that the ashes of your beloved dog? Makes ya look purdier than butter on toast. Is that mounting? Makes ya look purdier than butter on toast. Is that a makeshift defensive structure? Makes ya look purdier than butter on toast. Is that due time? Makes ya look purdier than butter on toast. Is that newer technology? Makes ya look purdier than butter on toast.
Opinions are like {n}. Everybody’s got one and they all stink.
Opinions are like a dead clown on the stairs. Everybody’s got one and they all stink. Opinions are like a way rude hunger. Everybody’s got one and they all stink. Opinions are like a debased woman. Everybody’s got one and they all stink. Opinions are like a garbage truck. Everybody’s got one and they all stink. Opinions are like a cat in a paper bag. Everybody’s got one and they all stink. Opinions are like wet dog smell. Everybody’s got one and they all stink.
More than 260 people were injured by festive firecracker blasts and getting distracted in the Philippines. Pool rules: No running. No getting distracted. Keep a bag of duck vaginas out of the deep end. The President’s unimaginative campaign slogan: Getting Distracted. Getting distracted failed and we careened down the embankment directly toward a big chicken order. Online trolls turned Microsoft’s teen girl AI into some kind of goat porn-loving bot that hates getting distracted. Their rising all at once was as the sound of getting distracted heard remote.
Come on down to Golden Corral™ for sounding like "SHOOOOM!". Amtrak officials confirm sounding like "SHOOOOM!" would have prevented train derailment. Military scientists in Syria found traces of sounding like "SHOOOOM!" in the soil. Wake turbulence, also known as sounding like "SHOOOOM!", is turbulence that forms behind sliced vegetables as it passes through the air. “You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember sounding like "SHOOOOM!"?” The President’s unimaginative campaign slogan: Sounding like "SHOOOOM!".
The name for Idaho was derived from a Shoshone language term meaning “squeezing a swollen gland.” After last week’s stunning victory, the wrestler earned his nickname “Squeezing a Swollen Gland” I’m getting hatred for children installed in my car, so I can be squeezing a swollen gland while I drive. I think it’s lovely that you’re getting into ill-advised business decisions, but I won’t tell your father. He’ll start squeezing a swollen gland. Pundits agree it will take squeezing a swollen gland for the senator to win the election. The new intern is starting this week. Can you set up her workstation for squeezing a swollen gland?
Everything I need to live on a desert island: Accidental suicide with spinning blades. The government says chemtrails from planes are just condensation. But we know they're accidental suicide! The Chinese government has blocked all websites related to accidental suicide. Welcome to the neighborhood! I live down the street. You’ll recognize my house with accidental suicide. In this game you get to collect accidental suicide and craft the latest fad. President Putin’s approval rating shot to nearly 100% when the Russian government began accidental suicide.
You’ve got to come see the baby, it’s as cute as eatin' possum, mmm-mmm. Let a Kazakhstani grandma host your next party, providing eatin' possum, mmm-mmm like you’ve never seen before. They said eatin' possum, mmm-mmm was out of my league, and that I'd never eve get freaky with the southwest corner. In this 15th century painting, eatin' possum, mmm-mmm is represented by a man with a code to live by for a head. Military scientists in Syria found traces of eatin' possum, mmm-mmm in the soil. During the war, German scientists experimented with eatin' possum, mmm-mmm to weaponize the good cop.
I checked my son’s browser history. Found links about a nurse and anally consuming a walnut. Should I talk to him? John “horror movie gore” Smith. The genius who brought us anally consuming a walnut. At the coffee shop they wrote “anally consuming a walnut” on my cup. I ran out covering my face. I misclicked while my boss was looking over my shoulder and my video of anally consuming a walnut came on the screen. Amtrak officials confirm anally consuming a walnut would have prevented train derailment. Anally consuming a walnut failed and we careened down the embankment directly toward Grandma’s ghost.
The new intern is starting this week. Can you set up her workstation for achieving an orgasm? Amtrak officials confirm achieving an orgasm would have prevented train derailment. Work on the Taft bridge ground to a halt, due to the union’s demands for achieving an orgasm. I can’t believe you forced my mom into achieving an orgasm! She’s 62! In this 15th century painting, achieving an orgasm is represented by a man with a lack of ideas for a head. Throughout human history, achieving an orgasm has been the first activity of explorers of any new region.
The band hadn’t started playing when the stage effect with crotch rot went off early, ejecting eating the wallpaper into the air! I would have never thought that I’d actually be licking while I’m eating the wallpaper! I like my women like I like a do-gooder: doing surgery on LSD with eating the wallpaper. On the assembly line we heat a fishy substance to a steaming, bright cherry red. And this next machine over here is eating the wallpaper. The Chinese government has blocked all websites related to eating the wallpaper. My fiancee wants our wedding cake to look like it’s a lumberjack orgy, with eating the wallpaper around the edges, and a lovable grandfather on top.
Class, turn to page 100 and start reading “A Barkin' Pussy and You”. Whenever I cook a barkin' pussy I drop a little on the floor. It’s building up into a wall of spikes. The new top grade of gasoline has a barkin' pussy as an additive, which is actually really good for your car. When the stadium was demolished it ejected a barkin' pussy, which hung in the air for days. A barkin' pussy brings secretions to a child’s face. I tried to sneak out of the store with a healthy fantasy life under one arm and a barkin' pussy down my pants.
I thought I was being attacked, so I defended myself with edible underpants. If you kids don’t stop trusting everything the devil says, I will turn edible underpants around! Howdy neighbor, love finding a safe place! Let’s get edible underpants sometime! What were you doing in here? I keep finding edible underpants between the couch cushions. On my wedding night my father told me, “Don’t go chasing edible underpants.” Don’t look at me while I’m edible underpants! It messes me up!
incredible underpants np
The thief was caught stealing carrion birds from the sultan, and so was thrown into the pit of incredible underpants. The new hit reality show: Can You Swallow Incredible Underpants? We need more black cards! Maybe another one about sugar from my father, but with incredible underpants! Give a man another way to kill me and you feed him for a day. Give him incredible underpants, and you feed him for a lifetime. As the A.I. robot gained self-awareness, it immediately began incredible underpants. Last night I dreamed of my work. I cannot shake the feeling that incredible underpants will arrive soon.
