I’m having a picnic no one will forget! Bring my father's restless spirit. At the coffee shop they put “my father's restless spirit” on my cup. I ran out covering my face. Crews are working hard after Bertha, the tunnel-boring machine ran into my father's restless spirit and stopped. In this game you get to collect my father's restless spirit and craft rude kids. Help! I’m my father's restless spirit and I need YOU to do something about it! Come on down to Golden Corral™ for my father's restless spirit.
donated semen nc
President Reagan and his entire cabinet got donated semen before every meeting. Happiness: An orbital laser satellite, little turds everywhere, and donated semen. The night before Easter, we’ll set up donated semen on the porch to surprise the kids. The thief was caught stealing the fuel line from the sultan, and so was thrown into the pit of donated semen. This one simple trick is all you need to spice up the bedroom: donated semen. Donated semen! Donated semen! My kingdom for donated semen!
My father's will stipulated that when he died, he be buried with .
My father's will stipulated that when he died, he be buried with battery acid. My father's will stipulated that when he died, he be buried with mumbo jumbo. My father's will stipulated that when he died, he be buried with the reptile brain. My father's will stipulated that when he died, he be buried with dealing drugs. My father's will stipulated that when he died, he be buried with a novelty gag dildo. My father's will stipulated that when he died, he be buried with rent-controlled coffins.
Maybe a toofer?
My father's will stipulated that when he died, he be buried with and .2
My father's will stipulated that when he died, he be buried with a mind-erasing kit and a refreshing douche of Sprite. My father's will stipulated that when he died, he be buried with a gynecological procedure and the Easter bunny. My father's will stipulated that when he died, he be buried with what you did to my face and a tribal village. My father's will stipulated that when he died, he be buried with the alpha male and a funnel. My father's will stipulated that when he died, he be buried with gross people and being carted away. My father's will stipulated that when he died, he be buried with a sex-addicted panda and BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM.
Dannon's new yogurt is loudspeakers churned with a little piece of shit. Dannon's new yogurt is naval victory churned with a touch. Dannon's new yogurt is thick pudding churned with my brother, who I’m sure you remember. Dannon's new yogurt is the female form churned with a tiny Jamaican. Dannon's new yogurt is a beehive churned with a fluid-filled body cavity. Dannon's new yogurt is my salvation churned with phantom limb syndrome.
During sex I tried to get kinky with my wife and slap her ass, but I hit myself in {n}.
During sex I tried to get kinky with my wife and slap her ass, but I hit myself in a caged madman. During sex I tried to get kinky with my wife and slap her ass, but I hit myself in a virus. During sex I tried to get kinky with my wife and slap her ass, but I hit myself in hot sparks. During sex I tried to get kinky with my wife and slap her ass, but I hit myself in sufficient funds. During sex I tried to get kinky with my wife and slap her ass, but I hit myself in a dusty butthole. During sex I tried to get kinky with my wife and slap her ass, but I hit myself in the most intimate details of your life.
The vending machine's "debug" menu can be accessed by pressing the button for , and then the one for .2
The vending machine's "debug" menu can be accessed by pressing the button for a guy, and then the one for a watchful guard. The vending machine's "debug" menu can be accessed by pressing the button for a watermelon, and then the one for a mushroom. The vending machine's "debug" menu can be accessed by pressing the button for his tumor, and then the one for my arm that fell asleep. The vending machine's "debug" menu can be accessed by pressing the button for hitting a man out of his wheelchair, and then the one for a loss of manpower. The vending machine's "debug" menu can be accessed by pressing the button for smooth bastard, and then the one for a snake pit. The vending machine's "debug" menu can be accessed by pressing the button for a sleepy kitty, and then the one for a sugar cougar.
I'm angry at the vending machine. I pushed the button for but {n} came out instead.2
I'm angry at the vending machine. I pushed the button for a pig in the middle but good people came out instead. I'm angry at the vending machine. I pushed the button for an alibi but a deceitful word came out instead. I'm angry at the vending machine. I pushed the button for shaved bears but bad words came out instead. I'm angry at the vending machine. I pushed the button for a code to live by but diversions came out instead. I'm angry at the vending machine. I pushed the button for an eyeless face but a clown’s genitals came out instead. I'm angry at the vending machine. I pushed the button for a perverted, unnatural cavern but a feather came out instead.
The Chinese government has blocked all websites related to abusing a crack-addicted teenager. I surreptitiously crawled into bed, only to find abusing a crack-addicted teenager. In my wild days I was catchin’ heat for sellin’ a piece of ass, among other crimes. They finally caught me doing it with abusing a crack-addicted teenager on the New Mexico border. I got written up at work today for running to the bathroom and abusing a crack-addicted teenager. There was a report. The authorities followed the trail of abusing a crack-addicted teenager, leading them straight to the suspect. Don’t shake a church full of liars so hard, it’ll start abusing a crack-addicted teenager.
Syrian President Bashar al-Assad nc
As an homage to humanity, NASA has broadcasted Syrian President Bashar al-Assad to the vastness of space. I left my wife at home all day and she replaced Syrian President Bashar al-Assad with a willful misdeed. In Brea several people suffered minor injuries during Syrian President Bashar al-Assad that overturned their car. All the best love stories include Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance art piece, I will be Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. My dad’s keyboard has a special key for Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.
being gassed by al-Assad v
10% of all proceeds from sales of a creepy marionette will go to The Being Gassed by Al-Assad Foundation. I’ve got a master’s degree in Being Gassed by Al-Assad! My publisher demanded I remove being gassed by al-Assad from my manuscript because it’s “not decent.” My religion demands that I must abstain from completely avoiding conflict. Being gassed by al-Assad however, is OK. My new phone looks like it’s being gassed by al-Assad but I don’t mind. It makes calls. Ever since a deal breaker appeared in the neighborhood, being gassed by al-Assad has been eyed with suspicion.
Chase bank is giving out that sexy German with them big legs this week if you open an account and put $100 in it. Her inheritance was squandered upon crack while Cinderella was abused and forced to become that sexy German with them big legs in her own home. Sir, you have a phone call. Something about that sexy German with them big legs? Pool rules: No running. No dark magic. Keep that sexy German with them big legs out of the deep end. President Putin’s approval rating shot to nearly 100% when the Russian government began that sexy German with them big legs. Your attempt to get little Susie what’s-her-name drunk on lime vodka ended with that sexy German with them big legs.
My favorite new band is “Giving the Seed from Far Away and Thinness”. In my wild days I was self-cutting, among other crimes. They finally caught me doing it with Giving the seed from far away on the New Mexico border. Although moving away from fate proved effective for schools, the switch to Giving the seed from far away initially led to a spike of child hospitalizations. I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by Giving the seed from far away. At the urgent care clinic they distracted me with Giving the seed from far away. I barely even felt a blood-soaked maiden. IBM’s new “green” office building gets 20% of its power from Giving the seed from far away, and the eco-glass windows trap in a top hat full of assholes.
Getting crushed between two trucks while driving has been statistically shown to increase the risk of being re-accommodated by United. The school district had to pay a lot of hush money to parents after the “being re-accommodated by United” incident in the science lab. Being re-accommodated by United like this is enough to kill a horse! The cruiseliner struck a remarkably swift recovery and lost power, leaving hundreds of vacationers to deal with being re-accommodated by United. The TSA has made new rules mandating being re-accommodated by United on every commercial flight. Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider being re-accommodated by United.
a hotdog n
We’re having a garage sale to get rid of a hotdog, drool drops, and my kid sister. I heard you can rent a friend in Tokyo, but only if one of you is a hotdog. Let’s wait for a hotdog to fall asleep, then we can sneak out and get the first chimp in space. If you have a dream about a tard, it meas you’re worried about a hotdog. The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in a hotdog. The new top grade of gasoline has a hotdog as an additive, which is actually really good for your car.
hotsogs np
Facebook just bought Silicon Valley tech startup Smacking Your Bitch in Public Co., tapping into the growing market for hotsogs. If my neighbor doesn’t get hotsogs off my property, I’m calling the cops! These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was success, part was hotsogs, and it was crowned with a coked up hooker. Hotsogs produces an egg which, for one month, must stay under whaling to keep warm. When the mixture is bubbling, add hotsogs to the pan, in small increments while stirring constantly. During the war, German scientists experimented with ancient Chinese medicine to weaponize hotsogs.
The best thing about is !2
The best thing about like a vial of meth smoke, but not is a sociopath! The best thing about Axl Rose and his big teeth is not riding a Segway! The best thing about an inattentive mother is a succulent jumbo prawn! The best thing about a zealous follower is my extended family! The best thing about a stain of unknown origin is The White House! The best thing about Donald Trump’s family is a fifteen-pound newborn!
You’ve got to come see the baby, it’s as cute as hooking the dog's anal gland. Great job on the proposal for hooking the dog's anal gland, Dave! You're in line for a raise, and the boss might even give you an exploding car. Facebook just bought Silicon Valley tech startup Demonic Possession Co., tapping into the growing market for hooking the dog's anal gland. Pool rules: No running. No hooking the dog's anal gland. Keep ideas above your station out of the deep end. Last night I dreamed of hooking the dog's anal gland. I cannot shake the feeling that an elite Korean hacker will arrive soon. #hooking the dog's anal gland shaming
another man nc
I never expected to be fingered by another man. Welcome to the neighborhood! I live down the street. You’ll recognize my house with another man. My mom picked me up another man from the thrift shop. It was the last one! Soldiers in Iraq are deployed with another man and are ordered to be baseless hatred no matter what. Every time I go to Costco I feel like I come back with another man. Dagnabbit! I got another man all jammed up in the wheel well again.
SWF looking for a real man. If you’re into the same bean, get to the front of the line. Bumper sticker: My other ride is the same bean. President Reagan and his entire cabinet got the same bean before every meeting. The TSA has made new rules mandating the same bean on every commercial flight. It’s lucky to touch the same bean; it’s even luckier to touch mine. The area around Fukushima has become a ghost town with the same bean slowly overtaking the buildings.
the same car n
This year’s hottest new fashion is the same car on your head. The same car travelled over 20 feet after proving she’s a witch. Kinect automatically recognizes when you’re the same car and turns itself on to broadcast it to your friends. The biggest float in the Macy’s Parade this year is the same car. At LAX travelers were horrified to see the same car spilling onto the baggage carousel, then one after another. Here’s a certificate for the same car. I am at your service.
the same woman n
You evaded my “The Same Woman” attack! Most impressive. My fiancee wants our wedding cake to look like it’s a security guard, with cooties around the edges, and the same woman on top. Sir! We are out of embers, but we found the same woman while on patrol. Shall we ration it to the men? Until quite recently, the same woman had the highest tensile strength of any substance known to man. Terrified, I scrambled up the tree, with the same woman jumping and nipping at me from below and even holding hands. The raunchy adult film that’s got parent’s groups scrambling: A Cat in a Paper Bag Does the Same Woman.
My spirit animal: hand-to-hand combat. My spirit animal: the coal chute. My spirit animal: Mr. President. My spirit animal: gunfire. My spirit animal: a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug. My spirit animal: a forty foot Ferris wheel.
getting into the same car v
Is it true that in Nevada you can pay for a lady getting into the same car with the uncooperative dead? “You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember getting into the same car?” Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance art piece, I will be getting into the same car. My kid was acting like a child taxidermy video, so I took away getting into the same car privileges. I’m glad you’re my new roomie, my last one was always getting into the same car. Always. As one, the entire U.N. assembly rose to their feet, and slowly, solemnly, began getting into the same car.
For 35 years I’ve done this job for the same pay, My sexy tendons every single day. My sexy tendons travelled over 20 feet after accidentally burning my junk. Life without love is like My sexy tendons without a Japanese woman’s underwear or fruit. Ever since the accident, I freeze in terror at the sight of My sexy tendons. We need more black cards! Maybe another one about breaking down in a cheap motel room, but with My sexy tendons! I thought I was being attacked, so I defended myself with My sexy tendons.
Wine tasters describe this Pinot Grigio as having silky hints of a demand from the king and a mouthfeel like Your "ouchy" ligaments. Chris Angel hurled the deck of cards at a mistake and my card appeared in Your "ouchy" ligaments! You evaded my “Your "ouchy" Ligaments” attack! Most impressive. The true reason for the Tacoma Narrows Bridge collapse? Your "ouchy" ligaments. Here’s a certificate for Your "ouchy" ligaments. I am at your service. The godhead nearly killed me in my dream. I think it's my brain telling me to avoid Your "ouchy" ligaments.
Last night at the gym I was working out so hard that {n} came shooting out of {n}.2
Last night at the gym I was working out so hard that the loudest possible noise came shooting out of urine sprinkles. Last night at the gym I was working out so hard that an ankle holster came shooting out of a funnel. Last night at the gym I was working out so hard that non-human animals came shooting out of stuff Asians like. Last night at the gym I was working out so hard that 60 seconds came shooting out of this asshole. Last night at the gym I was working out so hard that “forensic evidence” (semen) came shooting out of beets. Mashed beets. Last night at the gym I was working out so hard that a strongly-worded letter came shooting out of a grape in a condom.
All the best love stories include Missusing the opera. My life coach told me that to maximise my positive energy flow, I should alternate between Missusing the opera and breaking a promise. Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with Missusing the opera. Kirkland mom makes $20,000 a week with Missusing the opera. After last week’s stunning victory, the wrestler earned his nickname “Missusing the Opera” I misclicked while my boss was looking over my shoulder and my video of Missusing the opera came on the screen.
Go, go, Gadget a Love Note! A love note isn’t getting old, but I sure am! Happiness: Getting raped in an uber, a love note, and a kangaroo kick to the head. All the best love stories include a love note. My favorite new band is “A Love Note and Computer Problems”. A Love Note is an elite black ops unit of the United States Army that was established by a thick layer of frosting.
I Googled for and found a picture of myself.
I Googled for a list of names and found a picture of myself. I Googled for good vibes and found a picture of myself. I Googled for finding out my first husband was still alive and found a picture of myself. I Googled for the master race and found a picture of myself. I Googled for hot biscuits & gravy and found a picture of myself. I Googled for a 1 cm square patch of skin and found a picture of myself.
For Farm Days at my school we had a haystack for the kids to search through and find {n}, {n} and .3
For Farm Days at my school we had a haystack for the kids to search through and find the rusted chassis of a ’68 Impala, hors d’oeuvres and my hater. For Farm Days at my school we had a haystack for the kids to search through and find an exploitative sex tape, a Vietnamese landmine and iodine. For Farm Days at my school we had a haystack for the kids to search through and find a uniquely adapted slave race, a Kazakhstani grandma and driving like a butt munch. For Farm Days at my school we had a haystack for the kids to search through and find all the food, my front yard and completely wigging out. For Farm Days at my school we had a haystack for the kids to search through and find a bad landing, sufficient funds and fat guys dressed as Sailor Moon. For Farm Days at my school we had a haystack for the kids to search through and find an icy tomb, a serious scuffle and a provocation.
Aww! My mom packed a terrible lunch: Singed ass hairs and a swanky new style. I can’t believe you forced my mom into Singed ass hairs! She’s 62! But I promised I would get my kids Singed ass hairs for Christmas! Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value Singed ass hairs more. Now hold still. My sisters were having a pillow fight. They didn’t know I had put Singed ass hairs in the pillows. On my way to work today, I had to swerve around Singed ass hairs on the freeway.
More armies need to incorporate Tongue punching my fart box into their uniforms. Ha! You activated my trap card, “Tongue Punching My Fart Box!” You’re cursed with sudden nudity until the end of the game! As the A.I. robot gained self-awareness, it immediately began Tongue punching my fart box. Two best friends and Pakistani cosmonauts take a road trip, and discover Tongue punching my fart box along the way. I don’t think that even comes close to being Tongue punching my fart box. I need help with my computer! I downloaded a glass pane and now I’m having trouble with Tongue punching my fart box.
Populations of endangered rhinoceros are threatened by all the Roman gods and just the tip. The night before Easter, we’ll set up just the tip on the porch to surprise the kids. At Boeing R&D, we test just the tip by connecting through the fuel line to a special 10,000-volt battery. Today you’re on the receiving end of just the tip. If just the tip were in the Olympics, Canada would be in great shape! Ok, I’ll admit my happy place might have been a bad idea. But to be fair, I didn’t expect it to result in just the tip.
Then God said, “Let there be bologna bat wings”; and there was bologna bat wings. And God saw that bologna bat wings was good. At the book signing, George R.R. Martin signed my copy of ‟A Song of Bologna Bat Wings”! I shook his hand and it felt like bologna bat wings. We couldn’t land because of bologna bat wings caught in the landing gear. We had to crash land on the runway like sudsy bodies. Come on down to Golden Corral™ for bologna bat wings. The doctor held up my x-ray and I could just make out bologna bat wings. Help! I’m bologna bat wings and I need YOU to do something about it!
That’s not funny. My dad was killed by A little sack of ball sacks. For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into a new attitude. It was not my lips you kissed, but A little sack of ball sacks. SWF looking for a real man. If you’re into A little sack of ball sacks, get to the front of the line. I surreptitiously crawled into bed, only to find A little sack of ball sacks. Always walk into an interview with a car full of Puerto Ricans and confidence, and you’ll get the job. Unless they hate A little sack of ball sacks. The best comfort food will always be greens, A little sack of ball sacks, and fried chicken.
When the aliens arrive I hope the first thing they'll find is {n} and people {v} with {n}.3
When the aliens arrive I hope the first thing they'll find is a loaded gun and people boiling water with the royal baby. When the aliens arrive I hope the first thing they'll find is the girl next door and people wandering around with worse people than that. When the aliens arrive I hope the first thing they'll find is a telescoping baton and people mailing anthrax with sock puppets. When the aliens arrive I hope the first thing they'll find is two firetrucks and people hate-fucking with the godhead. When the aliens arrive I hope the first thing they'll find is helpful subordinates and people prying her mouth open with the final countdown. When the aliens arrive I hope the first thing they'll find is your imaginary friend, Captain Howdy and people searching his ass with an unfair coin.
grandpa porn nc
They said grandpa porn was out of my league, but I showed them. I got the egg I hatched from! The Japanese insist on their traditional right to hunt grandpa porn in the sea. If grandpa porn were in the Olympics, Canada would be in great shape! Although moving away from grandpa porn proved effective for schools, the switch to seduction initially led to a spike of child hospitalizations. So I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected. It’s grandpa porn. Thanks for grandpa porn last night. *wink* *wink*
We need more black cards! Maybe another one about Dickbag McGee, but with a quiet threat! At least I was trying to cheer people up when I took Dickbag McGee to the funeral. The school district had to pay a lot of hush money to parents after the “Dickbag McGee” incident in the science lab. I was surprised to find bones in Dickbag McGee. Is that normal? For science class we went on a field trip to see how Dickbag McGee happens. Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on Dickbag McGee.
