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SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

General — Page 1 2 3 ... 64 65 66 [67] 68 69 70 ... 110 111 112
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 13 • 280
lesbian incestuous witch romance np

There’s no reason for lesbian incestuous witch romance before breakfast.
Some anarchist made the sign over the expressway say “THE STATE IS LESBIAN INCESTUOUS WITCH ROMANCE FARTING WHILE ASLEEP.”
I’ve been single ever since my girlfriend found out I had lesbian incestuous witch romance.
In Brea several people suffered minor injuries during lesbian incestuous witch romance that overturned their car.
The TSA has made new rules mandating lesbian incestuous witch romance on every commercial flight.
I thought I’d solve two problems at once by stuffing lesbian incestuous witch romance down the gopher holes.
 
 
 
≡ 2017 Apr 22 at 00:24 UTC
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 13 • 280
a cup of yogurt n

I met this hot chick online. She says she’s a cup of yogurt and I think I believe her!
The Chinese government has blocked all websites related to a cup of yogurt.
CAUTION: Keep a cup of yogurt out of hopper and chute opening. Failure to comply risks personal injury.
Could you buy me a cup of yogurt? I’ll pay you back.
The biggest float in the Macy’s Parade this year is a cup of yogurt.
The raunchy adult film that’s got parent’s groups scrambling: My Black Son Does a Cup of Yogurt.
 
 
 
≡ 2017 Apr 22 at 00:27 UTC
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 13 • 280
squirty cream nc

I love your necklace! It’s squirty cream, right?
Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on squirty cream.
Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider squirty cream.
Always makes me hungry when I see the butcher shop with squirty cream hanging in the window.
I met this hot chick online. She says she’s squirty cream and I think I believe her!
Every morning I hop out of bed and get straight to squirty cream, even before I put on my clothes.
 
 
 
≡ 2017 Apr 22 at 20:18 UTC — Ed. 2017 Apr 22 at 20:19 UTC
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 21 • 6663
a Steam update n

When the suspect’s car crashed, beets. Mashed beets launched from the trunk and landed sixty feet away on a Steam update.
A scandal erupted this week when prime ministers of Australia and Canada were caught with a Steam update.
This new Mario game is weird. You need a Steam update to attack goombas and coins are exclusively for buying another hurdle.
But I promised I would get my kids a Steam update for Christmas!
The 1940’s certainly had a thing about a Steam update.
After the war, the British government had Alan Turing chemically castrated because he was a Steam update.



updating Steam v

The survey team detected updating Steam at the work site so I threw joie de vivre in my truck and drove straight there.
I got so drunk last night that I got updating Steam all over everyone and everything.
They didn’t have Indian burn at the animal shelter, so the 5-day old puppy had to be fed updating Steam.
My publisher demanded I remove updating Steam from my manuscript because it’s “not decent.”
Furious that I was updating Steam into his spellbook, the sorcerer turned me into a roll of toilet paper.
So I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected. It’s updating Steam.
 
 
 
≡ 2017 Apr 23 at 05:09 UTC
todays_wet_sin
websiteman husband
2016 Apr 30 • 117
stealing a dirty toilet v

The 13 colonies were founded on the principles of liberty, brotherhood, and stealing a dirty toilet.
I am become stealing a dirty toilet, the destroyer of my biggest vein.
My girlfriend was getting something out of the closet. Lucky she didn’t look up, or she’d have seen stealing a dirty toilet.
In a world with violent docking, coming in hard gassing, one man must overcome stealing a dirty toilet. Coming this summer.
I misclicked while my boss was looking over my shoulder and my video of stealing a dirty toilet came on the screen.
I think it’s lovely that you’re getting into stealing a dirty toilet, but I won’t tell your father. He’ll start nothing but the truth.



stealing a toilet v

I tried power of attorney but it was too tight. Then I tried stealing a toilet but it was TOO LOOSE.
No one in Morocco can be stealing a toilet without registering with the government.
The Chinese government has blocked all websites related to stealing a toilet.
Here’s a certificate for stealing a toilet. I am at your service.
R Kelly fantasizes about stealing a toilet with a young Beyonce.
Wine tasters describe this Pinot Grigio as having silky hints of a creepy dude and a mouthfeel like stealing a toilet.

Creamed Korn
 
 
 
≡ 2017 Apr 23 at 08:31 UTC — Ed. 2017 Apr 23 at 08:33 UTC
todays_wet_sin
websiteman husband
2016 Apr 30 • 117
I like Japanese people because you can never tell if they are  {v} or  {v}2

I like Japanese people because you can never tell if they are blacking out and making a sex sound or getting busy
I like Japanese people because you can never tell if they are freezing solid or hiding the elderly
I like Japanese people because you can never tell if they are eating money or sinking into the mud
I like Japanese people because you can never tell if they are casting a hex or tugging too hard
I like Japanese people because you can never tell if they are mistaking a man for a lady or reaching around
I like Japanese people because you can never tell if they are crashing out of a window or peeing crabs

Creamed Korn
 
 
 
≡ 2017 Apr 23 at 18:53 UTC — Ed. 2017 Apr 23 at 18:55 UTC
todays_wet_sin
websiteman husband
2016 Apr 30 • 117
white trashers np

I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then white trashers really affected me.
After last week’s stunning victory, the wrestler earned his nickname “White Trashers”
The 7 deadly sins: lust, gluttony, white trashers, sloth, wrath, acute watery diarrhea, and pride.
Facebook just bought Silicon Valley tech startup White Trashers Co., tapping into the growing market for a fresh lung.
I need help with my computer! I downloaded white trashers and now I’m having trouble with strong thighs.
Until quite recently, white trashers had the highest tensile strength of any substance known to man.

Creamed Korn
 
 
 
≡ 2017 Apr 23 at 18:57 UTC
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 27 • 817
175 ₧
Not sure which is better:

getting smashed like a bug v

I got a new app on my phone. It’s called “Finishing Quickly” and it helps me with getting smashed like a bug.
I never expected to be fingered by getting smashed like a bug.
At the winery tour we saw how they put a small number of trusted men and grapes in the tank, but it smelled like getting smashed like a bug.
Today you’re on the receiving end of getting smashed like a bug.
I met this hot chick online. She says she’s getting smashed like a bug and I think I believe her!
The band hadn’t started playing when the stage effect with slow diarrhea went off early, ejecting getting smashed like a bug into the air!



getting squashed like a bug v

Can you come get me? I agreed to go with some guys who promised me getting squashed like a bug and it’s getting weird.
Dear diary, today I went into the city and saw getting squashed like a bug for the first time!
It has been prophesied that the young king will eventually be killed by getting squashed like a bug.
Hooking yourself up to a machine you know nothing about while driving has been statistically shown to increase the risk of getting squashed like a bug.
Class, turn to page 100 and start reading “Getting Squashed like a Bug and You”.
Ha! You activated my trap card, “Getting Squashed like a Bug!” You’re cursed with The Blood-Soaked Queen until the end of the game!
 
 
 
≡ 2017 Apr 24 at 07:00 UTC
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 13 • 280
going crazy, Broadway style v

In Kentucky stores can’t sell non-human animals after 8pm, or on holidays like Going Crazy, Broadway Style Day.
Abraham Lincoln wrestled with depression, but that did not keep him from going crazy, Broadway style with a coked up hooker.
The TSA has made new rules mandating going crazy, Broadway style on every commercial flight.
In a world with a gasping woman picking at it, one man must overcome going crazy, Broadway style. Coming this summer.
Here’s a certificate for going crazy, Broadway style. I am at your service.
Today at school the teacher asked us “what we want to be when we grow up?” I responded: going crazy, Broadway style!!!
 
 
 
≡ 2017 Apr 25 at 03:19 UTC — Ed. 2017 Apr 25 at 03:20 UTC
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 21 • 6663
suicide pills np

I could tell suicide pills had ended up behind me when I felt a sudden pinch as I backed up.
In North Korea, instead of streetlights, they have traffic ladies that stand in suicide pills in the middle of each intersection.
Holy dogshit, Texas! Only suicide pills and B.J. Pussylips come from Texas, Private Cowboy!
My dream house has bellybutton logic built in, an extra garage for suicide pills, and a robustly satisfying fart for the door bell.
The night before Easter, we’ll set up suicide pills on the porch to surprise the kids.
Suicide pills like this is enough to kill a horse!
 
 
 
≡ 2017 Apr 25 at 22:02 UTC — Ed. 2017 Apr 25 at 22:04 UTC
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 27 • 817
175 ₧
Has this one been suggested already?

getting cut cleanly in half v

More than 260 people were injured by festive firecracker blasts and getting cut cleanly in half in the Philippines.
Early rugby’s rules: carry the ball as a mind-erasing kit, score points by getting cut cleanly in half, and retaliatory skirmishes shall not be on the field.
I’m getting several children installed in my car, so I can be getting cut cleanly in half while I drive.
I didn’t think this house would sell with llama spit in the attic. Anyway, I’m getting cut cleanly in half.
I didn’t mean to start getting cut cleanly in half, it just happened!
I misclicked while my boss was looking over my shoulder and my video of getting cut cleanly in half came on the screen.
 
 
 
≡ 2017 Apr 25 at 22:49 UTC — Ed. 2017 Apr 25 at 22:49 UTC
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 21 • 6663
The Earth's tectonic plates  {v} into each other and form features such as  {n} and  {n}.3

The Earth's tectonic plates refusing any help into each other and form features such as dressing and Disneyland!.
The Earth's tectonic plates mothering into each other and form features such as rent-controlled coffins and all our faces.
The Earth's tectonic plates saving all the Jews into each other and form features such as Caesar’s last breath and bitches on the love throne.
The Earth's tectonic plates surviving into each other and form features such as a sign of the times and a complete wimp.
The Earth's tectonic plates acting in an irresponsible fashion into each other and form features such as my tortoise’s heat lamp and abstinence.
The Earth's tectonic plates taking it hard into each other and form features such as answers to all of life’s questions and a flagrant misuse of the English language.
 
 
 
≡ 2017 Apr 26 at 16:42 UTC
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 21 • 6663
a tectonic plate n

Working on my car I found a tectonic plate had crawled inside the engine block and died.
More armies need to incorporate a tectonic plate into their uniforms.
Back in my day, we only had a tectonic plate for lips and we LIKED IT.
Welcome to Denny’s®! I am control of the English Channel. Would you like to try our new special, a tectonic plate?
President Putin’s approval rating shot to nearly 100% when the Russian government began a tectonic plate.
Daddy! There’s a tectonic plate under my bed. Kill it kill it!



a 40-meter noose n

Honey, you can’t keep putting a 40-meter noose down the garbage disposal!
Slender and muscled, like even more bees. She was the spitting image of a 40-meter noose.
Dad! I’m all done pitching a god damn hissy fit, so I have a 40-meter noose left over if you’re still interested.
Howdy neighbor, love teaching pseudoscience! Let’s get a 40-meter noose sometime!
Give a man the crossing guard and you feed him for a day. Give him a 40-meter noose, and you feed him for a lifetime.
The Spice girls are getting back together! Their 3 new members include the bad cop spice, reduced brain intelligence spice, and a 40-meter noose spice!



zebra steaks np

Can you come get me? I agreed to go with some guys who promised me zebra steaks and it’s getting weird.
We couldn’t land because of zebra steaks caught in the landing gear. We had to crash land on the runway like door hinges, nails and chopped up horseshoes.
The water tower looks like it’s zebra steaks from this angle.
The new MacBook Pro weighs about as much as a skinless horror and comes with 1 USB-C port and zebra steaks! Groovy!
I didn’t mean to start zebra steaks, it just happened!
They didn’t have another way to kill me at the animal shelter, so the 5-day old puppy had to be fed zebra steaks.



cat cheese nc

Jesus is cat cheese.
Cat cheese isn’t getting old, but I sure am!
My sisters were having a pillow fight. They didn’t know I had put cat cheese in the pillows.
If you kids don’t stop going to Wendy’s, I will turn cat cheese around!
Strangely, right before Hitler killed himself, he had a cold hearted assassin destroyed and cat cheese killed as well.
My daughter came home crying because the kids at school said she was cat cheese.
 
 
 
≡ 2017 Apr 26 at 16:51 UTC
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 27 • 817
175 ₧
those rumors I started np

In a world with those rumors I started grabbing her pussy, one man must overcome a pack of smokes. Coming this summer.
I’m glad you’re my new roomie, my last one was always those rumors I started. Always.
I’ve got a master’s degree in Those Rumors I Started!
For Halloween we’re peeling those rumors I started so it feels like eyeballs, and we made exciting lifetime possibilities so it feels like brains.
Men, like a plan gone horribly wrong, go farthest when they are those rumors I started.
Traffic has only gotten worse since the transportation department deployed those rumors I started up and down the highway.



The service in this place sucks! Who do I have to fuck to get  {scp} around here?!

The service in this place sucks! Who do I have to fuck to get inflatable safety bumpers around here?!
The service in this place sucks! Who do I have to fuck to get one night in Bangkok around here?!
The service in this place sucks! Who do I have to fuck to get a guy around here?!
The service in this place sucks! Who do I have to fuck to get the girl in this photo around here?!
The service in this place sucks! Who do I have to fuck to get expulsion around here?!
The service in this place sucks! Who do I have to fuck to get oozing holes around here?!
 
 
 
≡ 2017 Apr 27 at 03:50 UTC — Ed. 2017 Apr 27 at 03:51 UTC
Signa
2013 Dec 28 • 197
one kudo n

If my neighbor doesn’t get one kudo off my property, I’m calling the cops!
I’m undergoing immersion therapy by continually exposing myself to one kudo.
First you get T-boning an ambulance. Then you get another hole in the head. Then you get one kudo.
In Siberia they built a tunnel to help endangered animals travel safely under one kudo.
The patient kept screaming about “one kudo”. Then, right on the operating table, his stomach burst open and voluminous hair emerged!
I came with shaved bears to school to show my friends, but stupid Billy Carter brought one kudo so nobody even noticed!
 
 
 
≡ 2017 Apr 27 at 03:54 UTC — Ed. 2017 Apr 27 at 03:55 UTC
Signa
2013 Dec 28 • 197
receiving one kudo v

My new phone looks like it’s receiving one kudo but I don’t mind. It makes calls.
Populations of endangered rhinoceros are threatened by receiving one kudo and a surgical rotary saw.
James Bond will return in “The Man With receiving one kudo”!
I can’t believe you forced my mom into receiving one kudo! She’s 62!
Yeah right Charles! I know you’re cheating on me! How do you explain receiving one kudo?
I heard you were talking about receiving one kudo so I had to come over!
 
 
 
≡ 2017 Apr 27 at 06:02 UTC — Ed. 2017 Apr 27 at 06:02 UTC
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 21 • 6663
vomiting gore all over your face v

The White House will no longer enforce The Vomiting Gore All over Your Face Act of 1959. Thank God.
New extreme Mountain Dew™ flavor: Vomiting Gore All over Your Face Blast!
The patient kept screaming about “vomiting gore all over your face”. Then, right on the operating table, his stomach burst open and the nanny emerged!
All the best love stories include vomiting gore all over your face.
I don’t give money to the homeless. Instead I provide vomiting gore all over your face directly.
Someone get Michael! His girlfriend is drunk, up on the table, and she’s vomiting gore all over your face.



full blast helicopter noises np

At LAX travelers were horrified to see full blast helicopter noises spilling onto the baggage carousel, then one after another.
How embarrassing! I forget I left full blast helicopter noises in the foyer.
Everything I need to live on a desert island: A meat hook with full blast helicopter noises.
In Siberia they built a tunnel to help endangered animals travel safely under full blast helicopter noises.
The true reason for the Tacoma Narrows Bridge collapse? Full blast helicopter noises.
More armies need to incorporate full blast helicopter noises into their uniforms.
 
 
 
≡ 2017 Apr 27 at 07:26 UTC
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 21 • 6663
us black folk np

Daddy! There’s us black folk under my bed. Kill it kill it!
In the end, the obvious plot twist was that the serial killer was actually us black folk.
Welcome to Denny’s®! I am daddy juice. Would you like to try our new special, us black folk?
The terrorists will execute donkeydump every 20 minutes until they receive us black folk.
I got so drunk last night that I got us black folk all over everyone and everything.
What’s in the fridge? Soda, OJ, us black folk... Sweet! Sunny-D!



The police around here are tough on  .

The police around here are tough on voluminous hair.
The police around here are tough on the king and his family.
The police around here are tough on the normal manner.
The police around here are tough on a “Hey!”.
The police around here are tough on two or three caterpillars.
The police around here are tough on a Japanese woman’s underwear.
 
 
 
≡ 2017 Apr 27 at 16:22 UTC
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 21 • 6663
I'm shoving  {n} in the ground, in hopes that Jesus comes and harvests it.

I'm shoving real life in the ground, in hopes that Jesus comes and harvests it.
I'm shoving well-organized orphans in the ground, in hopes that Jesus comes and harvests it.
I'm shoving a horizontal ass crack in the ground, in hopes that Jesus comes and harvests it.
I'm shoving simple pleasures in the ground, in hopes that Jesus comes and harvests it.
I'm shoving cheering children in the ground, in hopes that Jesus comes and harvests it.
I'm shoving special pube shampoo in the ground, in hopes that Jesus comes and harvests it.



I'm shoving  {n} in the ground, in hopes that  {s} comes and harvests it.2

I'm shoving bodily harm in the ground, in hopes that an angry buttplug for the man comes and harvests it.
I'm shoving a honey bee’s brain in the ground, in hopes that a happy accident comes and harvests it.
I'm shoving a remarkably swift recovery in the ground, in hopes that a man staring into space comes and harvests it.
I'm shoving cops getting high as fuck in the ground, in hopes that that bitch comes and harvests it.
I'm shoving a telescoping baton in the ground, in hopes that no spider comes and harvests it.
I'm shoving a crocodile death-rolling my taint in the ground, in hopes that the pilot, who died instantly comes and harvests it.
 
 
 
≡ 2017 Apr 27 at 16:29 UTC
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 21 • 6663
Old McDongle and his "bok bok" n

This is a great piece, it doesn’t have a lot of action, but it has a lot of Old McDongle and his "bok bok".
The refugees must be relocated because the shelter is right on top of Old McDongle and his "bok bok".
While you’re at the store can you pick up Old McDongle and his "bok bok", in family size?
Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with Old McDongle and his "bok bok".
I met this hot chick online. She says she’s Old McDongle and his "bok bok" and I think I believe her!
At the winery tour we saw how they put an emerging sense of national identity and grapes in the tank, but it smelled like Old McDongle and his "bok bok".
 
 
 
≡ 2017 Apr 27 at 16:33 UTC
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 21 • 6663
a child hulking out on creatine n

A child hulking out on creatine can only be killed by sentimentality.
A BBC team has witnessed the effects of a child hulking out on creatine on civilians in rebel-held areas of Syria.
How embarrassing! I forget I left a child hulking out on creatine in the foyer.
A child hulking out on creatine tattoo on my chest made the ladies go wild, so I thought putting a real one on my dick was a good idea.
Dagnabbit! I got a child hulking out on creatine all jammed up in the wheel well again.
Traditionally, vampires and other undead are repelled by a child hulking out on creatine.



a sippy cup n

When the mixture is bubbling, delicately add a sippy cup to the pan, while stirring constantly.
You spent all your food-stamps on a sippy cup?!
It's dangerous to leave a sippy cup on the stairs.
Sir! We are out of inactivity and poor health, but we found a sippy cup while on patrol. Shall we ration it to the men?
My dad’s keyboard has a special key for a sippy cup.
I need help with my computer! I downloaded real human interaction and now I’m having trouble with a sippy cup.



Doctor! My child has   coursing through his veins!

Doctor! My child has a breach of confidence coursing through his veins!
Doctor! My child has a human-sized hamster ball coursing through his veins!
Doctor! My child has lubricant coursing through his veins!
Doctor! My child has plummeting from 20,000 feet coursing through his veins!
Doctor! My child has the trials of manhood coursing through his veins!
Doctor! My child has bait coursing through his veins!



Oh no! Obama put  {n} in the water to turn  {n} gay!2

Oh no! Obama put hot lava in the water to turn fuzzy handcuffs gay!
Oh no! Obama put a length of chain in the water to turn what makes my girlfriend scream when I put it in her mouth gay!
Oh no! Obama put wicked sack in the water to turn an ankle holster gay!
Oh no! Obama put a newer, sleeker leopard in the water to turn a hearty 8-pound pork roast gay!
Oh no! Obama put very expensive gelato in the water to turn a suffering bastard gay!
Oh no! Obama put a playpen in the water to turn several children gay!
 
 
 
≡ 2017 Apr 27 at 17:09 UTC
todays_wet_sin
websiteman husband
2016 Apr 30 • 117
giggle shits np

I thought I was being attacked, so I defended myself with giggle shits.
I came with a stink bug to school to show my friends, but stupid Billy Carter brought giggle shits so nobody even noticed!
We’re having a garage sale to get rid of passive-aggressive tendencies, giggle shits, and no evidence of any infidelity.
At the carnival I went on the thing where you ride a ball gag. It made me feel like I was giggle shits.
The cruiseliner struck giggle shits and lost power, leaving hundreds of vacationers to deal with retribution.
Though mortally wounded by three shots to his abdomen, the Secret Service agent returned fire, killing the assassin with giggle shits.



It's all fun and games until someone's  {v} and  {v}.2

It's all fun and games until someone's subduing your cell-mate and making him your wife and getting all obsessed.
It's all fun and games until someone's sewing it shut and floating away in a fucking balloon.
It's all fun and games until someone's flipping over and spraying into the air and writhing on the floor and screaming my name.
It's all fun and games until someone's accidentally burning my junk and dying in captivity.
It's all fun and games until someone's floppin’ out my baby door and fighting one-on-one.
It's all fun and games until someone's jammin’ bodies in the juicer and dying evil.

Creamed Korn
 
 
 
≡ 2017 Apr 28 at 02:32 UTC — Ed. 2017 Apr 28 at 02:36 UTC
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 21 • 6663
Thanks news headlines.

It is disrespectful and dangerous and be  {v} during sex.

It is disrespectful and dangerous and be loving someone SO much during sex.
It is disrespectful and dangerous and be hotboxing a cat during sex.
It is disrespectful and dangerous and be exhuming my wife during sex.
It is disrespectful and dangerous and be hitting a man out of his wheelchair during sex.
It is disrespectful and dangerous and be raping an entire family including the dog during sex.
It is disrespectful and dangerous and be hounding the family dog during sex.



removing the condom v

We need more black cards! Maybe another one about removing the condom, but with a touch!
In my state, removing the condom is a legal right for me and my native brothers.
I’m gonna prove the link between more blood and removing the condom! You’ll all see!
Alexander also named a city in India “Removing the Condom” after his dead horse.
Trapped again, MacGyver began his escape with only what Mom made and removing the condom.
The biggest float in the Macy’s Parade this year is removing the condom.
 
 
 
≡ 2017 Apr 28 at 20:21 UTC — Ed. 2017 Apr 28 at 20:22 UTC
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 21 • 6663
getting stabbed in the eye v

You evaded my “Getting Stabbed in the Eye” attack! Most impressive.
Last night I dreamed of getting stabbed in the eye. I cannot shake the feeling that my evil little body will arrive soon.
As the A.I. robot gained self-awareness, it immediately began getting stabbed in the eye.
If you do it right, claws is all about getting stabbed in the eye.
Senator, give us getting stabbed in the eye biannually and you’ll get our vote.
After the war, the British government had Alan Turing chemically castrated because he was getting stabbed in the eye.



Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is well known for letting a fan rub  {n} on his body.

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is well known for letting a fan rub mom on his body.
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is well known for letting a fan rub the fuel line on his body.
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is well known for letting a fan rub sloppy seconds on his body.
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is well known for letting a fan rub a weak spot on his body.
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is well known for letting a fan rub unsuspecting bystanders on his body.
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is well known for letting a fan rub complex maths on his body.



the female form n

When I think South America, I think of the female form.
How high do you have to be to enjoy the female form in a small angry cloud?
I need help with my computer! I downloaded the female form and now I’m having trouble with a touch.
It’s not delivery. It’s the female form.
For Halloween we’re peeling a wondrous, splendifirous little thing so it feels like eyeballs, and we made the female form so it feels like brains.
Is there a free outlet? I need to plug in and charge the female form.



switching genitalia v

The new Ford F-750 with more torque than switching genitalia.
Switching genitalia is the only way to say goodbye.
The White House will no longer enforce The Switching Genitalia Act of 1959. Thank God.
R Kelly fantasizes about switching genitalia with a young Beyonce.
This year’s hottest new fashion is switching genitalia on your head.
The new Harley-Davidson hog’s got fatty grunts painted on both sides, which some say encourages switching genitalia.



becoming a lady v

Early rugby’s rules: carry the ball as a $160,000 diamond, score points by becoming a lady, and closet lesbians shall not be on the field.
My girlfriend was getting something out of the closet. Lucky she didn’t look up, or she’d have seen becoming a lady.
President Putin’s approval rating shot to nearly 100% when the Russian government began becoming a lady.
At the book signing, George R.R. Martin signed my copy of ‟A Song of Becoming a Lady”! I shook his hand and it felt like becoming a lady.
When legs is ready, becoming a lady will appear.
Yeah right Charles! I know you’re cheating on me! How do you explain becoming a lady?



cruel and unusual surgery nc

At the mall Santa kiosk, the elves were caught sneaking cruel and unusual surgery into women’s purses and bags.
Can I get some floss? There’s cruel and unusual surgery between my teeth.
I just dug up cruel and unusual surgery in my backyard! I had no idea this place had a gut.
The new intern is starting this week. Can you set up her workstation for cruel and unusual surgery?
I thought I’d solve two problems at once by stuffing cruel and unusual surgery down the gopher holes.
President Reagan and his entire cabinet got cruel and unusual surgery before every meeting.



The latest smart device, "Hamburo," squeezes bags of  {p} to make  {n}.2

The latest smart device, "Hamburo," squeezes bags of computer problems to make harem pants.
The latest smart device, "Hamburo," squeezes bags of child-bearing hips to make door hinges, nails and chopped up horseshoes.
The latest smart device, "Hamburo," squeezes bags of exciting lifetime possibilities to make a button labelled “kill”.
The latest smart device, "Hamburo," squeezes bags of heavy iron dildos to make wicked sack.
The latest smart device, "Hamburo," squeezes bags of day-to-day affairs to make a lab-grown testicle for a wounded soldier.
The latest smart device, "Hamburo," squeezes bags of _{U} is the spice of _{n}. to make vole milk.



squid nc

On Ebay you can get squid but it comes in several tiny boxes.
Here on the assembly line we heat squid to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is shouldering most of the blame.
That new mmo is coming out next week and I’ve already reserved my name: xXsquidXx
All the best love stories include squid.
Sir, you have a phone call. Something about squid?
Furious that I was cheating into his spellbook, the sorcerer turned me into squid.



Mom's know how to cure an upset stomach:  .

Mom's know how to cure an upset stomach: putting my mouth on it.
Mom's know how to cure an upset stomach: hitting a man out of his wheelchair.
Mom's know how to cure an upset stomach: hiding.
Mom's know how to cure an upset stomach: their white asses.
Mom's know how to cure an upset stomach: the jape of the century.
Mom's know how to cure an upset stomach: a blood-soaked maiden.



When I'm alone I like to imagine  . It really brings  {c} to my mind and soul.2

When I'm alone I like to imagine a one hundred dollar bill. It really brings workplace chatter to my mind and soul.
When I'm alone I like to imagine the signs of spousal abuse. It really brings elastic action to my mind and soul.
When I'm alone I like to imagine mistaking a man for a lady. It really brings ample legroom to my mind and soul.
When I'm alone I like to imagine an old hornet. It really brings more dishonesty to my mind and soul.
When I'm alone I like to imagine a piece of cake. It really brings Jigglypuff! to my mind and soul.
When I'm alone I like to imagine a smooth vagina. It really brings bear sperm to my mind and soul.



I rate   3 out of 7.  {U} with rice however is a 5 out of 7!2

I rate fluids from my face 3 out of 7. A human-sized harness with rice however is a 5 out of 7!
I rate clemency 3 out of 7. The most beautiful face ever with rice however is a 5 out of 7!
I rate a slip of the tongue 3 out of 7. Gangstas with rice however is a 5 out of 7!
I rate death math 3 out of 7. My hater with rice however is a 5 out of 7!
I rate unnatural lust 3 out of 7. A box of wine with rice however is a 5 out of 7!
I rate seed 3 out of 7. People bumping and grinding at each other with no sense of rhythm with rice however is a 5 out of 7!



added hormones np

At the urgent care clinic they distracted me with added hormones. I barely even felt a certain je ne sais quoi.
A BBC team has witnessed the effects of added hormones on civilians in rebel-held areas of Syria.
Here’s a certificate for added hormones. I am at your service.
John “iodine” Smith. The genius who brought us added hormones.
Let’s wait for added hormones to fall asleep, then we can sneak out and get screwing with pants on.
I could tell added hormones had ended up behind me when I felt a sudden pinch as I backed up.



Dude! Her dress was so sheer I could see  {n}!

Dude! Her dress was so sheer I could see a bitch as nasty as that!
Dude! Her dress was so sheer I could see my vicinity!
Dude! Her dress was so sheer I could see bathwater!
Dude! Her dress was so sheer I could see wet dog smell!
Dude! Her dress was so sheer I could see Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s frilly neckerchief!
Dude! Her dress was so sheer I could see a pale reflection!



track marks np

1) A robot may not injure track marks, or through inaction allow track marks to come to harm.
Science never solves a problem without creating track marks.
I thought I was being attacked, so I defended myself with track marks.
The 1940’s certainly had a thing about track marks.
Factory workers at Foxconn who leap out of windows will now be saved by track marks around the building.
I’m sure I blew track marks in this napkin somewhere.



doing drugs v

You’ve got to come see the baby, it’s as cute as doing drugs.
If you see your dog scooting his butt on the carpet, it probably mean he’s doing drugs.
In the public doing drugs model, a third-party service provider delivers the doing drugs service over the Internet.
Someone get Michael! His girlfriend is drunk, up on the table, and she’s doing drugs.
Terrified, I scrambled up the tree, with a motorist jumping and nipping at me from below and even doing drugs.
Traditionally, vampires and other undead are repelled by doing drugs.
 
 
 
≡ 2017 Apr 28 at 20:32 UTC — Ed. 2017 Apr 28 at 20:34 UTC
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 21 • 6663
This one was supposed to be a one-fer:

 {U}: 4/7.  {U} with rice: 5/7!1

Bait: 4/7. Bait with rice: 5/7!
Side effects: 4/7. Side effects with rice: 5/7!
Rolling in: 4/7. Rolling in with rice: 5/7!
Animalistic hunger: 4/7. Animalistic hunger with rice: 5/7!
Being pickled: 4/7. Being pickled with rice: 5/7!
A healthy fantasy life: 4/7. A healthy fantasy life with rice: 5/7!
 
 
 
≡ 2017 Apr 28 at 20:41 UTC — Ed. 2017 Apr 28 at 20:47 UTC
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