If I had beer cans, puke and underwear, you’d be dead! A 2008 study of Movile’s only snail found that it has been nipping it in the bud. The snail may have escaped beer cans, puke and underwear by going underground. They said beer cans, puke and underwear was out of my league, but look at me now! I've got beer cans, puke and underwear... and then some! Last Christmas, everyone got beer cans, puke and underwear under the tree and an exit wound in their stockings! We finally hired a guy at work to take care of beer cans, puke and underwear. In Siberia they built a tunnel to help endangered animals travel safely under beer cans, puke and underwear.
Apparently, “Precious Bodily Fluids” is a dance move in the Hip-Hop and B-Boy community. I was surprised to find bones in precious bodily fluids. Is that normal? At least I was trying to cheer people up when I took precious bodily fluids to the funeral. Precious bodily fluids is the only way to say goodbye. I surreptitiously crawled into bed, only to find precious bodily fluids. The new top grade of gasoline has precious bodily fluids as an additive, which is actually really good for your car.
Little boys are made of {n}, {n}, and puppy dog tails.
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Little boys are made of the longest, thinnest hot dog, my baby door, and puppy dog tails. Little boys are made of a succulent jumbo prawn, thinness, and puppy dog tails. Little boys are made of hot wax, my brother, who I’m sure you remember, and puppy dog tails. Little boys are made of a shitty, useless planet, sinister plans, and puppy dog tails. Little boys are made of a falling chimney, halitosis, and puppy dog tails. Little boys are made of Snoop Dogg’s magic umbrella, a pale reflection, and puppy dog tails.
Little girls are made of sugar, spice, and {n}.
Little girls are made of sugar, spice, and a feather boa. Little girls are made of sugar, spice, and a skin tag. Little girls are made of sugar, spice, and a harbor for your unclean thoughts. Little girls are made of sugar, spice, and prey. Little girls are made of sugar, spice, and Walt Disney’s preserved ass cheeks. Little girls are made of sugar, spice, and long deep kisses with eyes wide open.
The water tower looks like it’s a bucket with a hole from this angle. It's dangerous to leave a bucket with a hole on the stairs. Kraft Foods has announced that it will phase out the use of a bucket with a hole in its food processing operations. Oh no! Someone rolled up a bucket with a hole in a duvet and threw it on the side of the road. More armies need to incorporate a bucket with a hole into their uniforms. Work on the Taft bridge ground to a halt, due to the union’s demands for a bucket with a hole.
A hole
n
Here on the assembly line we heat a hole to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is inhaling. Growing up we never had a hole, but we had to deal with respite, and I want the opposite for my children. Come on down to Golden Corral™ for a hole. A hole produces an egg which, for one month, must stay under servile wretches to keep warm. My girlfriend kicked strength, and now she’s a hole. I want to break up with her but I’m afraid! Until quite recently, a hole had the highest tensile strength of any substance known to man.
My chameleon turns purple whenever I'm {v}.
My chameleon turns purple whenever I'm laughing and lying. My chameleon turns purple whenever I'm lumbering around. My chameleon turns purple whenever I'm pulling off pants. My chameleon turns purple whenever I'm being in the way. My chameleon turns purple whenever I'm taking a fair amount. My chameleon turns purple whenever I'm not riding a Segway.
My dream house has a big surprise built in, an extra garage for pacifying all religions, and the Justice Department for the door bell. I’m having a picnic no one will forget! Bring the Justice Department. My pharmacist separated pulsating opposite sexes into two parts, and carefully lowered one into the Justice Department. The raunchy adult film that’s got parent’s groups scrambling: The Justice Department Does Her Penis. I want to be buried with the Justice Department. I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by the Justice Department.
A police station
n
Happiness: Finding a safe place, a police station, and years of pain. Original style is fine, but chunky kinda tastes like a police station. Can you come get me? I agreed to go with some guys who promised me a police station and it’s getting weird. In Brea several people suffered minor injuries during a police station that overturned their car. I didn’t think this house would sell with my picture in the attic. Anyway, I’m a police station. Online trolls turned Microsoft’s teen girl AI into some kind of M. Night Shyamalan-a-ding-dong-loving bot that hates a police station.
Are you there God? It's me, .
Are you there God? It's me, me. Are you there God? It's me, a remarkably swift recovery. Are you there God? It's me, being bred in captivity. Are you there God? It's me, being slathered in baby oil. Are you there God? It's me, leaving a man behind. Are you there God? It's me, the next time.
Trolls tricked Microsoft’s teen girl AI, Tay, into making offensive remarks about .
Trolls tricked Microsoft’s teen girl AI, Tay, into making offensive remarks about a tiny bat crawling up your peehole. Trolls tricked Microsoft’s teen girl AI, Tay, into making offensive remarks about sudden nudity. Trolls tricked Microsoft’s teen girl AI, Tay, into making offensive remarks about llama spit. Trolls tricked Microsoft’s teen girl AI, Tay, into making offensive remarks about a barbecued meal worm. Trolls tricked Microsoft’s teen girl AI, Tay, into making offensive remarks about banning the Pope. Trolls tricked Microsoft’s teen girl AI, Tay, into making offensive remarks about your grandmother, who loves you.
India is launching a rocket to test the effects of micro-gravity on a solar flare. It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, a solar flare, toilet paper, shelter, and floppy, out-of-control boobs. The school district had to pay a lot of hush money to parents after the “a solar flare” incident in the science lab. After the war, the British government had Alan Turing chemically castrated because he was a solar flare. When you two are done “forgetting” to knock, can we please get a solar flare and get out of here?! Wine tasters describe this Pinot Grigio as having silky hints of ancient Chinese medicine and a mouthfeel like a solar flare.
Lumpy butt
nc
The band hadn’t started playing when the stage effect with lumpy butt went off early, ejecting a vibrator with a voice into the air! The weird payment system at the grocery store makes me put lumpy butt in the slot, but I forget to take it out. More than 260 people were injured by festive firecracker blasts and lumpy butt in the Philippines. Factory workers at Foxconn who leap out of windows will now be saved by lumpy butt around the building. I was surprised to find bones in lumpy butt. Is that normal? The hardware store didn’t have lumpy butt left, so I got day-to-day affairs.
Scientists have successfully sent images of through tubes full of {n}.
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Scientists have successfully sent images of the coal chute through tubes full of a determined shark. Scientists have successfully sent images of being nude, spread eagle toward the sun through tubes full of a moon rock shaped like a butt. Scientists have successfully sent images of a prepaid Visa™ through tubes full of somersaults. Scientists have successfully sent images of a pale reflection through tubes full of shame. Scientists have successfully sent images of a long visit through tubes full of arthouse films about transexuals. Scientists have successfully sent images of total collapse through tubes full of KA-BLAM!!.
Possible fix:
After his weird, embarrassing defeat, the wrestler earned his nickname “ {n}”
After his weird, embarrassing defeat, the wrestler earned his nickname “well-organized orphans” After his weird, embarrassing defeat, the wrestler earned his nickname “the godhead” After his weird, embarrassing defeat, the wrestler earned his nickname “a falling tree” After his weird, embarrassing defeat, the wrestler earned his nickname “good bacteria” After his weird, embarrassing defeat, the wrestler earned his nickname “sex toy directions” After his weird, embarrassing defeat, the wrestler earned his nickname “a real sonuvabitch”
I don’t give money to the homeless. Instead I provide you and me, girl directly. The fire raged out of control because the firemen’s hoses got caught around you and me, girl. I thought I was being attacked, so I defended myself with you and me, girl. India is launching a rocket to test the effects of micro-gravity on you and me, girl. Whenever I cook you and me, girl I drop a little on the floor. It’s building up into terminal illness. The new bill before congress would mandate you and me, girl in all K-through-12 classrooms.
For girl scouts, my daughter went door-to-door giving everyone in my neighborhood {n}.
For girl scouts, my daughter went door-to-door giving everyone in my neighborhood sinuses. For girl scouts, my daughter went door-to-door giving everyone in my neighborhood nosy neighbors. For girl scouts, my daughter went door-to-door giving everyone in my neighborhood Krampus, the child punisher. For girl scouts, my daughter went door-to-door giving everyone in my neighborhood the bitter cold. For girl scouts, my daughter went door-to-door giving everyone in my neighborhood quicksand. For girl scouts, my daughter went door-to-door giving everyone in my neighborhood a nicer surprise.
A 2008 study of Movile’s only snail found that it has been falling in love with a white girl. The snail may have escaped scum by going underground. Ugh. I ate some kids last night and I’ve been trying to put on scum all morning. I got so drunk last night that I got scum all over everyone and everything. You can’t get an otherwise peaceful man big enough or scum long enough to suit me. The cruiseliner struck scum and lost power, leaving hundreds of vacationers to deal with between your legs. I could tell scum had ended up behind me when I felt a sudden pinch as I backed up.
I rented a U-Haul but they were out of {cp} so I packed my furniture with {cp}.
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I rented a U-Haul but they were out of sinister plans so I packed my furniture with beets. Mashed beets. I rented a U-Haul but they were out of nosy neighbors so I packed my furniture with 35 quadrillion Zimbabwe dollars. I rented a U-Haul but they were out of nothing at all so I packed my furniture with chafing jeans. I rented a U-Haul but they were out of balls caught in the car window so I packed my furniture with many people. I rented a U-Haul but they were out of ancient Chinese medicine so I packed my furniture with alien technology. I rented a U-Haul but they were out of battery acid so I packed my furniture with recalled pizza with glass in it.
My tiny act of rebellion today was {v} with no shoes!
My tiny act of rebellion today was getting busy with no shoes! My tiny act of rebellion today was being pickled with no shoes! My tiny act of rebellion today was beeping with no shoes! My tiny act of rebellion today was being lured into a van with no shoes! My tiny act of rebellion today was getting HUGE with no shoes! My tiny act of rebellion today was giving birth to your own parents with no shoes!
My tiny act of rebellion today was murdering everyone who is different from you with sizzling lard. My tiny act of rebellion today was being suspended in gelatin with complete removal of the head. My tiny act of rebellion today was flailing with hot babes. My tiny act of rebellion today was knowing hell with the southwest corner. My tiny act of rebellion today was inviting the cops with butt gas. My tiny act of rebellion today was pushing it deeper with terminal illness.
"It's impossible," said Pride. "It's risky," said Experience. "It's pointless," said Reason. "Give it a try," whispered the Heart. And that's when I tried {scv}
"It's impossible," said Pride. "It's risky," said Experience. "It's pointless," said Reason. "Give it a try," whispered the Heart. And that's when I tried a good girl "It's impossible," said Pride. "It's risky," said Experience. "It's pointless," said Reason. "Give it a try," whispered the Heart. And that's when I tried a pregnant teen "It's impossible," said Pride. "It's risky," said Experience. "It's pointless," said Reason. "Give it a try," whispered the Heart. And that's when I tried a wondrous, splendifirous little thing "It's impossible," said Pride. "It's risky," said Experience. "It's pointless," said Reason. "Give it a try," whispered the Heart. And that's when I tried a slot "It's impossible," said Pride. "It's risky," said Experience. "It's pointless," said Reason. "Give it a try," whispered the Heart. And that's when I tried the song of my people "It's impossible," said Pride. "It's risky," said Experience. "It's pointless," said Reason. "Give it a try," whispered the Heart. And that's when I tried rolling in it
There’s no reason for filling your diaper before breakfast. The name for Idaho was derived from a Shoshone language term meaning “filling your diaper.” That’s not funny. My dad was killed by filling your diaper. Ever since the incident with the wool over my eyes I’ve been haunted by filling your diaper. Look, man, I’m not into filling your diaper. But $20 is $20. When I get older, I don’t want to be filling your diaper.
There’s no reason for botulism before breakfast. Aron Ralston was trapped under my latest perversion for 5 days. He only survived by cutting off botulism! All the best love stories include botulism. Our mystical secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of botulismlifting off the toilet. The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in botulism. There is no “I” in “team” but there is an “I” in “botulism”.
Horse face
nc
Can you come get me? I agreed to go with some guys who promised me horse face and it’s getting weird. A BBC team has witnessed the effects of horse face on civilians in rebel-held areas of Syria. Always makes me hungry when I see the butcher shop with horse face hanging in the window. I found out why I’m always sick... they found horse face in the walls at my office. The 1940’s certainly had a thing about horse face. Nancy Drew and the Mystery of Horse Face.
Eating toxic cheese
v
Facebook just bought Silicon Valley tech startup Good People Co., tapping into the growing market for eating toxic cheese. The TSA has made new rules mandating eating toxic cheese on every commercial flight. Men, like an extra kid, go farthest when they are eating toxic cheese. Furious that I was eating toxic cheese into his spellbook, the sorcerer turned me into a pubic tuft. Leopards are smaller than most of the Panthera genus, but they are able to take large prey due to eating toxic cheese. The cruiseliner struck 35-year-old high school students and lost power, leaving hundreds of vacationers to deal with eating toxic cheese.
MmmiiillleennNNIAALLSSS!!
np
Meet me by the new modern art installation downtown. You know, it’s mmmiiillleennNNIAALLSSS!! straddled by Christopher Lloyd holding a dog. Can I get some floss? There’s mmmiiillleennNNIAALLSSS!! between my teeth. I tried to sneak out of the store with mmmiiillleennNNIAALLSSS!! under one arm and the ends down my pants. The rich aroma of mmmiiillleennNNIAALLSSS!!, from the hills of Colombia. Music without the sounds of mmmiiillleennNNIAALLSSS!! is hardly music at all. The new MacBook Pro weighs about as much as theatrics and comes with 1 USB-C port and mmmiiillleennNNIAALLSSS!!! Groovy!
I don’t need love because I’m mmmiiillllennn-NNIAAALLSS!!!. Sorry mom! How did I get hurt? I got my foot caught in a bucket of allergies, tumbled down the escalator and crashed into mmmiiillllennn-NNIAAALLSS!!!. In my wild days I was getting all fucked up on PCP, among other crimes. They finally caught me doing it with mmmiiillllennn-NNIAAALLSS!!! on the New Mexico border. Ich bin ein mmmiiillllennn-NNIAAALLSS!!!. Man invented a wimpy tornado, so woman invented mmmiiillllennn-NNIAAALLSS!!!. The thief was caught stealing a divorce from the sultan, and so was thrown into the pit of mmmiiillllennn-NNIAAALLSS!!!.
The raunchy adult film that’s got parent’s groups scrambling: Another Hole in the Head Does MmmiiillllennnNNIAAALLSS!!!. Dad! I’m all done achieving an orgasm, so I have mmmiiillllennnNNIAAALLSS!!! left over if you’re still interested. These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was swindling queers, part was mmmiiillllennnNNIAAALLSS!!!, and it was crowned with really bad teeth. At spring training a foul ball bounced off mmmiiillllennnNNIAAALLSS!!! in the stands and then knocked ample legroom off at least 10 pounds of pork. At LAX travelers were horrified to see mmmiiillllennnNNIAAALLSS!!! spilling onto the baggage carousel, then one after another. What will we do with mmmiiillllennnNNIAAALLSS!!! early in the morning?
Last Christmas, I gave you body warmth. The very next day, you gave it away. Researchers have trained chimps to recognise body warmth by rewarding them with techniques. If I had body warmth, you’d be dead! The new self-help fad: Better Living Through Body Warmth! The band hadn’t started playing when the stage effect with body warmth went off early, ejecting force-feeding a bird into the air! In future times, the children will work together to build body warmth.
Millennials are killing .
Millennials are killing meaty valves. Millennials are killing killing protesters. Millennials are killing a light dusting of pubes. Millennials are killing achieving an orgasm. Millennials are killing one of the Baldwin brothers. Millennials are killing lady business.
USGS seismologist Lucy Jones said the 5.1 quake has a 5% chance of being bisexual bivalves. Could you buy me bisexual bivalves? I’ll pay you back. When the research team activated the interdimensional portal, bisexual bivalves emerged. At the new circus in town, three jugglers throw each other bisexual bivalves, while a man is not riding a Segway on a galloping horse. Hark! What bisexual bivalves through yonder window breaks? The good news is that I was only barfing because I ate bisexual bivalves.
You stole a nosedive from a child? You’re doing a weird sex thing and you’re going to hell! This workplace has gone (0) days without doing a weird sex thing. When the beef came at me it was like doing a weird sex thing. Squad, circle up. It’s time to talk doing a weird sex thing. At the hospital I had to take off my clothes and get into Mom’s feet before doing a weird sex thing. I don’t think that even comes close to being doing a weird sex thing.
Sexting teens
v
If you do it right, sexting teens is all about sandpaper. There is no revenge so complete as sexting teens. My dad’s keyboard has a special key for sexting teens. The cruiseliner struck the placenta and lost power, leaving hundreds of vacationers to deal with sexting teens. Furious that I was sexting teens into his spellbook, the sorcerer turned me into a real sonuvabitch. Traditionally, vampires and other undead are repelled by sexting teens.
"Impossible," said Pride. "Risky," said Experience. "Give it a try," whispered the Heart. That's when I tried {scv}.
"Impossible," said Pride. "Risky," said Experience. "Give it a try," whispered the Heart. That's when I tried a collar that blows up your head if you try to leave. "Impossible," said Pride. "Risky," said Experience. "Give it a try," whispered the Heart. That's when I tried the crossing guard. "Impossible," said Pride. "Risky," said Experience. "Give it a try," whispered the Heart. That's when I tried a crazy cat lady. "Impossible," said Pride. "Risky," said Experience. "Give it a try," whispered the Heart. That's when I tried an angry buttplug for the man. "Impossible," said Pride. "Risky," said Experience. "Give it a try," whispered the Heart. That's when I tried a small angry cloud. "Impossible," said Pride. "Risky," said Experience. "Give it a try," whispered the Heart. That's when I tried a battle.
Is it OK to put a lonely old man in the microwave? Is it OK to put intense pressure in the microwave? Is it OK to put failure in the microwave? Is it OK to put a better place now in the microwave? Is it OK to put my picture in the microwave? Is it OK to put a dusty butthole in the microwave?
As time goes on,I have a harder and harder time telling what has and hasn't been posted before.
A powerful stimulant
n
A woman is like a teabag. You can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in a powerful stimulant. I tried to sneak out of the store with a powerful stimulant under one arm and a dog boner down my pants. Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance art piece, I will be a powerful stimulant. Whenever I cook the key factors I drop a little on the floor. It’s building up into a powerful stimulant. My financial analyst has advised me to invest my fortune in a powerful stimulant. I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by a powerful stimulant.
Today I bought {n} from the back of a van. They also threw in {n}, which I didn't even think was legal.
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Today I bought an implied butt from the back of a van. They also threw in attention, which I didn't even think was legal. Today I bought Eskimo settlements from the back of a van. They also threw in a pussy, wet and dripping, which I didn't even think was legal. Today I bought an abomination unto God from the back of a van. They also threw in pity, which I didn't even think was legal. Today I bought seduction from the back of a van. They also threw in a small child with no arms on a buttered skateboard, which I didn't even think was legal. Today I bought a beehive from the back of a van. They also threw in a fisherman, which I didn't even think was legal. Today I bought not many teeth from the back of a van. They also threw in these faggots, which I didn't even think was legal.
If quiet punk music were in the Olympics, Canada would be in great shape! I got into my car and sat on quiet punk music. Slowly, a smile crept over my face. We can be quiet punk music. And no one has to know. People around the world recognize quiet punk music as the unofficial symbol of the USA. The transferred sperm cells are kept in quiet punk music, where they can remain viable for longer periods. I love your necklace! It’s quiet punk music, right?
If Scot blood were in the Olympics, Canada would be in great shape! No one in Morocco can be Scot blood without registering with the government. New extreme Mountain Dew™ flavor: Scot Blood Blast! I want to say one word to you, just one word: Scot blood. This ship’s gonna sink unless we throw Scot blood overboard! Don’t leave the door open! Scot blood will get in.
Big Gay
nc
Holy dogshit, Texas! Only my happy place and Big Gay come from Texas, Private Cowboy! In the end, the obvious plot twist was that the serial killer was actually Big Gay. This one simple trick is all you need to spice up the bedroom: Big Gay. The new artsy indie game “Large Recoil” is a deeply emotional exploration of Big Gay. Kirkland mom makes $20,000 a week with Big Gay. In Brea several people suffered minor injuries during Big Gay that overturned their car.
April 26th
n
Fictitious queer same sex transformation nearly killed me in my dream. I think it's my brain telling me to avoid April 26th. Traffic is backed up for 7 miles due to an overturned semi hauling April 26th. The driver was fingering. At the carnival I went on the thing where you ride April 26th. It made me feel like I was rival anthills. The three techniques of Sumo Wrestling: April 26th, morphine and man animals. In North Korea, instead of streetlights, they have traffic ladies that stand in April 26th in the middle of each intersection. Tomorrow the city is throwing a ticker-tape to celebrate April 26th.
Marrying a Kardashian
v
We couldn’t land because of a lap caught in the landing gear. We had to crash land on the runway like marrying a Kardashian. The rich aroma of marrying a Kardashian, from the hills of Colombia. Ball peeking! As far as the eye can see! And it’s all marrying a Kardashian. I like my women like I like marrying a Kardashian: being attacked by a skeleton with leopard print top hats. Today you’re on the receiving end of marrying a Kardashian. If I had marrying a Kardashian, you’d be dead!
I clean {n} by putting it in the dishwasher. It usually doesn't end up {v}.
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I clean a fresh lung by putting it in the dishwasher. It usually doesn't end up wetting the bed. I clean a greased slope by putting it in the dishwasher. It usually doesn't end up plummeting from 20,000 feet. I clean each hole, sequentially by putting it in the dishwasher. It usually doesn't end up raping an entire family including the dog. I clean three carrots by putting it in the dishwasher. It usually doesn't end up getting stepped on by a dominatrix. I clean a thought by putting it in the dishwasher. It usually doesn't end up gathering supplies. I clean a well-oiled machine by putting it in the dishwasher. It usually doesn't end up surviving.
