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We have "______? This'll take a while." but I don't think that provides enough context.
How about "______? I'm just gonna sit back and watch."
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2014 Apr 15 at 10:31 PDT
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Nezumi
Asshole Admin
2005 Mar 26 • 785
175 ₧
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Foaming, not at the mouth
(inspired by http://nedroid.com/2010/06/self-diagnosis/)
Since we already have "a crudely drawn dick" do you think we should have "an impressively rendered vagina"?
"Family fun night"
"6 cups flour, 1 cup milk, 1/2 cup water, 2 tsp yeast, 2 tbsp sugar, 1 tbsp salt"
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2014 Apr 15 at 13:29 PDT
— Ed. 2014 Apr 15 at 13:50 PDT
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Hmm a "rendered vagina" is a pretty horrifying concept.
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2014 Apr 15 at 14:14 PDT
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NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse
2005 Mar 22 • 1871
574 ₧
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The vagina one is good. I feel like I don't know what the recipe is for, it's too specific, and would take too damned long to read.
I double-approve of anything involving a Jane Austen quote and think that her work could probably be mined for additional black cards.
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
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2014 Apr 15 at 14:56 PDT
— Ed. 2014 Apr 15 at 14:58 PDT
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NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse
2005 Mar 22 • 1871
574 ₧
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I figured that in order to test this theory I should see if I could get a good response out of the first line of Pride and Prejudice.
"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of ______."
White cards drawn:
An underwear shoot.
A flip.
A mindless animal response.
A horse's mouth.
Tangled memories.
Much needed supplies.
A sexually aggressive woman.
A good strategy.
A perverted, unnatural cavern.
Sex smell.
No knockouts there, but "A mindless animal response" and "A perverted, unnatural cavern" are just good enough to make me think that it's a viable black card. "A sexually aggressive woman" also scores points on the basis of True Facts.
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
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2014 Apr 15 at 15:14 PDT
— Ed. 2014 Apr 15 at 15:16 PDT
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Nezumi
Asshole Admin
2005 Mar 26 • 785
175 ₧
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'A mindless animal response' made me lol.
And that recipe is for bread, obviously. I was going for another 'door hinges, nails and chopped up horseshoes'.
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2014 Apr 15 at 15:30 PDT
— Ed. 2014 Apr 15 at 15:32 PDT
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@NatureBones: I think your black card is ripe for twoferization.
"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of _____, must be in want of ______."
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2014 Apr 15 at 15:39 PDT
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NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse
2005 Mar 22 • 1871
574 ₧
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I thought about that too! No reason to not take it out for a spin as a twofer.
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
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2014 Apr 15 at 15:42 PDT
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Just working with what we had here...
"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of A horse's mouth, must be in want of A mindless animal response."
"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of A good strategy, must be in want of Much needed supplies."
"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of Tangled memories, must be in want of A perverted, unnatural cavern."
"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of A sexually aggressive woman, must be in want of An underwear shoot."
"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of Sex smell, must be in want of A flip."
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2014 Apr 15 at 15:58 PDT
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Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value _____ more.
To enjoy freedom we have to control _____.
To enjoy _____ we have to control ourselves.
I have been _____ all my life, in practice, though not in principle.
Business, you know, may bring you _____, but _____ hardly ever does.
And someone please figure out how we can use this amazing quote:
One has to secrete a jelly in which to slip quotations down people's throats - and one always secretes too much jelly.
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2014 Apr 15 at 18:21 PDT
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Tons of Bill Cosby quotes work, I think:
Nothing I've ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being _____ to my children.
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is _____.
Having _____ is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.
I wasn't always black... there was _____, and it got bigger and bigger.
There are some people who have trouble recognizing _____.
When you carry _____, you mean to harm somebody, kill somebody.
When a person has _____, sometimes their mind clicks that this thing will win arguments and straighten people out.
I am proud to be _____. Because _____ can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.
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2014 Apr 15 at 18:42 PDT
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Here's more from various sources! Guess which ones are Marilyn Manson!
I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then _____ really affected me.
You can't get _____ big enough or _____ long enough to suit me.
There's no reason to change what you are, but if you're not _____, then you need to acknowledge that.
Leave me in a room with _____ and I'll draw on the wall.
Ultimately, because I'm _____, I can't ever consider myself _____, so I suppose I'm optimistic.
As a kid I just felt like _____.
The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue _____. You have to catch it yourself.
Three can keep _____. If two of them are dead.
I wake up every morning at nine and grab _____. Then I look at _____. If my name is not on it, I get up.
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2014 Apr 15 at 19:28 PDT
— Ed. 2014 Apr 15 at 19:33 PDT
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Nezumi
Asshole Admin
2005 Mar 26 • 785
175 ₧
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"anything on the face of this earth" is a pretty good white card.
Also "a time machine that has yet to be invented". I didn't think it'd be that great, but I keep finding quotes like "The good times of today, are a time machine that has yet to be invented of tomorrow."
Novelty gag dildo
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2014 Apr 16 at 20:49 PDT
— Ed. 2014 Apr 17 at 14:36 PDT
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That makes me think I should have threefered it like this:
"I am proud to be _____. Because _____ can eat _____ as long as he has two pieces of bread."
Or alternatwofered it as:
"I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat _____ as long as he has _____."
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2014 Apr 17 at 14:47 PDT
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Nezumi
Asshole Admin
2005 Mar 26 • 785
175 ₧
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Schadenfreude
(Goes great with a certain je ne sais qwahh (which I gave up trying to spell half way through (jeez I just spelled schadenfreude correctly give me a break)))
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2014 Apr 17 at 17:10 PDT
— Ed. 2014 Apr 17 at 17:11 PDT
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Also proposed: Shottin' Freud.
...which is a Freudian slip AND a Freudian slip!
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2014 Apr 17 at 18:43 PDT
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Nezumi
Asshole Admin
2005 Mar 26 • 785
175 ₧
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2014 Apr 18 at 17:28 PDT
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NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse
2005 Mar 22 • 1871
574 ₧
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Wait, puss or pus?
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
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2014 Apr 18 at 17:51 PDT
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A freakin pussy-ass weak-ass tornado. Do you even lift, tornado?
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2014 Apr 18 at 18:34 PDT
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aaronjer
*****'n Admin
2005 Mar 21 • 4940
1,227 ₧
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I need to know how much that tornado can bench so that I might accurately mock its noodle gusts.
White Cards:
Useless noodle arms
A wimpy tornado
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2014 Apr 19 at 16:03 PDT
— Ed. 2014 Apr 19 at 16:03 PDT
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Nezumi
Asshole Admin
2005 Mar 26 • 785
175 ₧
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I kinda meant pus, with one s.
"Fart jokes and naughty cave paintings"
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2014 Apr 21 at 00:24 PDT
— Ed. 2014 Apr 21 at 00:26 PDT
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Are you guys saying we need more gross-out cards?
"Taking a crap in one's own mouth" ?
For some reason that made me think of:
"A syringe of Tabasco"
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2014 Apr 21 at 11:01 PDT
— Ed. 2014 Apr 21 at 11:04 PDT
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NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse
2005 Mar 22 • 1871
574 ₧
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"hibernating with friends"
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
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2014 Apr 21 at 11:32 PDT
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aaronjer
*****'n Admin
2005 Mar 21 • 4940
1,227 ₧
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"a system of tunnels leading to key locations."
Who is wise? He that learns from ______. Who is powerful? He that governs ______. Who is rich? He that is content with ______. Who is that? Nobody.
OR
Who is ______? He that learns from everyone. Who is ______? He that governs his passions. Who is ______? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.
OR
Who is wise? He that learns from ______. Who is powerful? He that governs ______. Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? ______.
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2014 Apr 21 at 14:21 PDT
— Ed. 2014 Apr 21 at 14:24 PDT
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AaronJer... this quote is ripe for being like a sixfer!
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2014 Apr 21 at 14:55 PDT
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