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A moist pout
Fart jokes and dirty cave paintings
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2014 Apr 22 at 03:53 UTC
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CameronLancaster said: A moist pout
Fart jokes and dirty cave paintings
Whoa who are you?!!?
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2014 Apr 22 at 03:56 UTC
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Cameron Lancaster, I'd wager.
...and that's the bottom line because Mate de Vita said so.
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2014 Apr 22 at 07:09 UTC
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NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse
2005 Mar 23 • 1871
574 ₧
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"whatever Alex reads this as"
"a historical dame"
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
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2014 Apr 22 at 07:42 UTC
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Nezumi
Asshole Admin
2005 Mar 27 • 819
175 ₧
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So long as you have ___ in your mouth, you have solved all questions for the time being.
Spaghetti can be eaten most successfully if you inhale it like a vacuum cleaner.
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers.
The best comfort food will always be greens, ___, and fried chicken.
I'm at the age where ___ has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
There is no spectacle on earth more appealing than that of a beautiful woman in the act of cooking ___ for someone she loves.
Jan Sobieski, leading the largest cavalry charge in history, rode into battle atop ___.
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2014 Apr 22 at 08:26 UTC
— Ed. 2014 Apr 22 at 08:57 UTC
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NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse
2005 Mar 23 • 1871
574 ₧
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"a child drowning in a vat of molasses"
"a banjo-plucking frog"
"Teddy Roosevelt's giant fossilized face"
"a powerful skeleton, William Howard Taft"
"an unscheduled cement testing contest"
Black crad:
One cannot be always laughing at a man without now and then stumbling on _________.
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
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2014 Apr 22 at 08:32 UTC
— Ed. 2014 Apr 22 at 09:01 UTC
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_____ has proven extremely popular among young audiences in focus testing.
New Lime Xtreme, now full of _____ and electrolytes!
_____ will get you everwhere; except _____.
That's Captain Rogers the Rancorous of "_____," the finest ship in the harbor!
A balanced diet is _____ in each hand.
30 5-year-old high school students
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2014 Apr 22 at 08:56 UTC
— Ed. 2014 Apr 23 at 17:07 UTC
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OK I've added all the cards up to here. With a few small changes.
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2014 Apr 23 at 03:20 UTC
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Nezumi
Asshole Admin
2005 Mar 27 • 819
175 ₧
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A victorian penny dreadful
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2014 Apr 23 at 23:58 UTC
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Nezumi said: A victorian penny dreadful
I don't get it.
How about a sack of bat vaginas instead?
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2014 Apr 24 at 00:26 UTC
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NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse
2005 Mar 23 • 1871
574 ₧
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SuperJer said: Nezumi said: A victorian penny dreadful
I don't get it.
Here's the phrase "penny dreadful" used in context.
Quote: Zero: What happened?
M. Gustave: What happened, my dear Zero, is I beat the living shit out of a sniveling little runt called Pinky Bandinski, because if we've learned one thing from Penny Dreadfuls, it's that you can't be a candy ass; you've got to earn their respect. You should take a long look at his ugly mug this morning.
[Takes a sip of water and laughs]
M. Gustave: He's actually become a dear friend.
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
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2014 Apr 24 at 05:32 UTC
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aaronjer
*****'n Admin
2005 Mar 21 • 5102
1,227 ₧
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Twitching bodies at the bottom of the ocean.
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2014 Apr 24 at 08:39 UTC
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NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse
2005 Mar 23 • 1871
574 ₧
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I know we're in need of more black cards and I'll get on that almost tomorrow but in the meantime a POWERFUL phrase from the days of yore compelled me and I have no choice but to submit to our stock of white cards:
coyote bisque
[or whatever grammatically makes the most sense.]
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
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2014 Apr 24 at 22:23 UTC
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aaronjer
*****'n Admin
2005 Mar 21 • 5102
1,227 ₧
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I heard pound, fresh and joy in the same sentence. I don't know what's going on, but I'm sure I'm all for it.
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2014 Apr 25 at 00:11 UTC
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Nezumi
Asshole Admin
2005 Mar 27 • 819
175 ₧
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"David Bowie, the Ultimate Moonlord"
How are there no David Bowie cards already?
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2014 Apr 25 at 01:27 UTC
— Ed. 2014 Apr 25 at 02:01 UTC
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aaronjer
*****'n Admin
2005 Mar 21 • 5102
1,227 ₧
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"a beauteous comb over"
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2014 Apr 25 at 03:30 UTC
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NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse
2005 Mar 23 • 1871
574 ₧
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Nezumi said: "David Bowie, the Ultimate Moonlord"
How are there no David Bowie cards already?
David Bowie's mysterious bulge
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
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2014 Apr 25 at 08:33 UTC
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NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse
2005 Mar 23 • 1871
574 ₧
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[white card]
Edible disguises.
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
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2014 Apr 26 at 08:48 UTC
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Only two things come from Texas: _ and _.
Or, in the original Latin:
Holy dogshit, Texas! Only _ and _ come from Texas, Private Cowboy!
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2014 Apr 27 at 04:57 UTC
— Ed. 2014 Apr 27 at 04:57 UTC
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The latin one is way better. ---^
" Ruth Bader Ginsburg's frilly neckerchief"
" the sacred knife of Tecpatl"
" ritual human sacrifice"
" long pork"
" the dark place of eternal stillness" <-- Thank you wikipedia.
After many years, I have finally found true love. And I could never have done it without _
The new hit reality show: Can You Swallow _?
(Can you swallow a ghoulish feast?)
Syria, what are you doing back here?
A BBC team has witnessed the devastating effects of _ on civilians after gaining rare access to rebel-held areas of Syria.
I've been trying to come up with very specific toofers.
The terrorists will execute one hostage every 20 minutes unless they receive _ and _.
I tried to sneak out of the store with _ under one arm and _ down my pants.
The Rando-izer gave me "I tried to sneak out of the store with not enough lube under one arm and a bear in a trashcan down my pants."
The new bill before congress would outlaw _ but provide subsidies for _.
My religion demands that I must always have _, and that I must abstain from _.
Our mystical secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of _ and _.
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2014 Apr 29 at 03:30 UTC
— Ed. 2014 Apr 29 at 04:26 UTC
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NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse
2005 Mar 23 • 1871
574 ₧
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[white crad]
A haunted theremin
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
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2014 Apr 29 at 06:44 UTC
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Nezumi
Asshole Admin
2005 Mar 27 • 819
175 ₧
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It's important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, _, toilet paper, shelter, and _.
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2014 Apr 29 at 21:28 UTC
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NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse
2005 Mar 23 • 1871
574 ₧
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I'm going through a lot of quotes from George Eliot because she makes broad statements that seem like they would work with this.
I'm throwing these out to the group to test because I've tried and drawn some middling white cards.
BLACK CRADS:
Our moral progress may be measured by the degree in which we sympathize with ____ and ____
The only failure a man ought to fear is failure of cleaving to ______ he sees to be best.
The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us, and we see nothing but _____; the angels come to visit us, and we only know ____ when they are gone.
Every man who is not ____, _____, or ____ is the slave of some woman or other.
[the original was monster, mathematician, mad philosopher. Keep one or more if they make the results funnier, or add a blank for "some woman"]
A man never lies with more delicious languor under the influence of ___ than when he has persuaded himself that he shall subdue it tomorrow.
_________, like other dramatic spectacles, might possibly cease for want of a "public."
People glorify all sorts of ____ except the ___ they might show on behalf of their nearest neighbors [play 1]
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
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2014 Apr 29 at 22:36 UTC
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Nezumi
Asshole Admin
2005 Mar 27 • 819
175 ₧
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That last one is tricky with cards in the form 'a <thing>'. The second to last one made me lol.
This one should be a toofer, with the 'mathematician' left in the middle (or one of the other words. Mad philosopher maybe?). I like cards like the 7 deadly sins one.
It plays pretty well:
"Every man who is not adopting a Romanian baby, a mathematician, or rude kids is the slave of some woman or other. " I'm going to adopt a mathematician!
To the stilled Earth say: '_'. To the rushing water speak: '_'.
a way rude hunger
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2014 Apr 29 at 22:59 UTC
— Ed. 2014 Apr 29 at 23:03 UTC
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