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White card: An all-retard disco band called "Get Downs Tonight"
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2014 Sep 12 at 13:00 PDT
— Ed. 2014 Sep 12 at 13:01 PDT
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NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse
2005 Mar 22 • 1871
574 ₧
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A segmented penis.
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
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2014 Sep 24 at 01:19 PDT
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aaronjer
*****'n Admin
2005 Mar 21 • 4940
1,227 ₧
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Circumcising your dad.
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2014 Oct 28 at 20:28 PDT
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Nezumi
Asshole Admin
2005 Mar 26 • 783
175 ₧
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The city condemned our house after finding _ in the crawlspace.
being asleep, not dead
Little Nicky/Happy Gilmore slash fiction
the first blush of womanhood
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2014 Oct 30 at 23:46 PDT
— Ed. 2014 Nov 14 at 11:19 PST
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Floating away in a fucking balloon.
The only way to stay afloat is to throw _ overboard.
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2014 Nov 15 at 15:30 PST
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NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse
2005 Mar 22 • 1871
574 ₧
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I need to make sure that we have Scissoring in there as a white card. Beyond that, I was listening to Night Vale and heard a good three-for.
The most dangerous game is __. The most entertaining game is __. The most weird game is __.
(The answers, respectively, were "Man," "Broadway Puppy Bowl," and "Esoteric Bear.")
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
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2014 Nov 17 at 01:07 PST
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Nezumi
Asshole Admin
2005 Mar 26 • 783
175 ₧
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A moisture wicking fleece sleeve for your penis.
That's not funny, my dad was killed by _.
For that black card, I really can't tell if 'mom' or 'family' are funnier than 'dad'. Dad is more specific, but its funny when something can kill a whole family...
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2014 Nov 19 at 21:45 PST
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Black card:
what better conveys poor impulse control than ____?
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2014 Nov 20 at 15:46 PST
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ALPHABET CHALLENGE!
Animal friends.
Between your legs. (not correct grammar but works often in spite)
Cardiac arrest.
Dope.
Elastic action.
Fairy tales.
Ground control.
Heavy garbage.
Ionizing radiation.
Justice for all.
Keelhauling.
A lounge full of dandies.
Morphine.
The NAACP.
Ouija boards.
A prepaid Visa™.
Quicksand.
Roman battlesex.
Sudsy bodies.
The tickle zone.
Up in it. (also bad grammar but often funny)
Voluntary manslaughter.
Whether I did it. (technically a noun?)
Taxpayers. (X is a free spin)
Yoga farts.
A child muzzle. (Z is free spin, too)
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2014 Nov 20 at 17:17 PST
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Nezumi
Asshole Admin
2005 Mar 26 • 783
175 ₧
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The savory gels of her lust.
(cf. "Nancy Drew and the mystery of the savory gels of her lust.")
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2014 Nov 20 at 20:30 PST
— Ed. 2014 Nov 20 at 20:30 PST
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NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse
2005 Mar 22 • 1871
574 ₧
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Alphabet game, eh? I'm going to riff off some of the things you have here and we'll see. Also some Achewood references and one UCB reference and one Mighty Boosh reference we've needed.
Ass pennies.
Bellowing.
Consensual manslaughter. ["Consensual" as an adjective for just about anything makes it funnier. Combining it with something that isn't supposed to be meditated is funnier.]
A doozy. (Just one)
Eels.
Fisticuffs atop a zeppelin.
Grab ass.
The heterosexual agenda.
Insensitive holiday celebrations.
Jury duty.
Kevlar underwear.
Love handles.
Masticating fresh fruit.
NAMBLA.
An odyssey through time and space.
Peeing in the sink.
Questions. Ceaseless questions.
Rapscallions.
Sea urchins.
Tony's prison baby.
A urologist.
Wicked sack.
Extradition.
The Yak.
Zydeco music.
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
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2014 Nov 21 at 00:06 PST
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From AVG's live stream right now:
Handjobbing that carcass.
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2014 Nov 22 at 18:05 PST
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Nezumi
Asshole Admin
2005 Mar 26 • 783
175 ₧
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I need to do an alphabet game. But in the meantime...
Complex maths
(Thanks again, wikipedia).
I saw Nick suggest "Sir, you have a phone-call. Something about _...?"
(Someone double check the wording plzthx)
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2014 Nov 24 at 13:11 PST
— Ed. 2014 Nov 24 at 13:11 PST
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Alphabet challenge round two!
Keep in mind, these don't have to be final. This is just to get some ideas flowing.
American interference.
The best woman for the job.
A crow in a blender.
A dealbreaker.
Earworms.
A falling chimney.
Gases and smoke.
Hot naughty bodies.
An igloo.
Judgment.
My Kazakhstani grandma.
Letting her in.
Mercury poisoning.
Non-union scabs!
Opulent fuckers.
A pack of smokes.
A quickie.
Rigid pipes.
Stainless steel plating.
Thrifty moms.
Unneeded bulk.
Voluminous hair.
The working man.
Unisexuality.
Young crabs.
Zigzagging wildly.
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2014 Nov 24 at 14:01 PST
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NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse
2005 Mar 22 • 1871
574 ₧
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Really enjoying these new alphabets, superjer. A+
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
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2014 Nov 24 at 15:25 PST
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I'm reminded of my ex every day by ______ they left behind.
Sir, you have a phone call. Something about... "________?"
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2014 Nov 25 at 22:56 PST
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Wet like grandma does it. (Grammar?)
Other things I've put in my butt.
Another way to kill me.
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2014 Nov 27 at 13:29 PST
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NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse
2005 Mar 22 • 1871
574 ₧
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Still thinking up alphabets. In the meantime, I don't think we have this as a black card, but if we have something too similar, ignore:
In a battle between ___ and ___, the real winner is: All of us.
Edit: In retrospect, this is an easy three-for.
In a battle between ___ and ___, the real winner is: ___.
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
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2014 Nov 29 at 16:41 PST
— Ed. 2014 Nov 29 at 23:08 PST
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buq25
2008 Jul 5 • 583
295 ₧
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Did anyone say Alphabet challenge?
Another oversized child
Biggest child
Creative child
Dead child
Every single child
Fat child
Great child of fire
Hateful child
Inside-out child
Just another child
Kreative child
luminescent child
Monotone child
Not another child
Our own biological child
Potato sized child
Questionable child
Replaceable child
Superiour child
Two-headed child
Uni-headed child
Vacant child
Wild child
Xylitol-based child
Yeti child
Zzzleeping child
Today's post brought to you by the letter: "heck".
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2014 Nov 30 at 12:10 PST
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NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse
2005 Mar 22 • 1871
574 ₧
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Doesn't quite capture the spirit of the game. Those childs would need to be leopards.
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
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2014 Nov 30 at 15:30 PST
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aaronjer
*****'n Admin
2005 Mar 21 • 4940
1,227 ₧
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Homo Hot Lips
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2014 Nov 30 at 23:14 PST
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NatureJay said: Doesn't quite capture the spirit of the game. Those childs would need to be leopards.
If you capture the spirit of the game, you can hold on to it for a while, but please release it.
It is only fair to the others.
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2014 Dec 1 at 11:47 PST
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Nezumi
Asshole Admin
2005 Mar 26 • 783
175 ₧
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Alphabert soup.
ample legroom
a blinding flash of insight
crouching silently
a dictionary for swear-words
earwig pincers
"forensic evidence" (semen)*
the godhead
a hackneyed truism
an icy tomb
journeying to far off-lands
a kangaroo kick to the head
a lamprey infestation
mostly unused hypodermics
newer technology
offal, wrapped in a burrito
a purgative elixir
a qualified body inspector
the reanimated corpses of my neighbors
solvent
a time-honored tradition
a uniquely adapted slave race
the void of nothingness
weird legs
a xenophobic history lesson
a yo-yo trick
zebras disguised as horses
* This one needs to include the quotes and parenthesis. cf. "McDonalds combo menu #3: Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a large Coke, and a side of "forensic evidence" (semen)."
Who is Alphabert?
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2014 Dec 1 at 15:58 PST
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aaronjer
*****'n Admin
2005 Mar 21 • 4940
1,227 ₧
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A penis with a tongue.
A tongue with a ball sack.
A head full of ideas.
A close friend.
Making it weird.
Telling kids about sex.
A ruby-eyed beast in the dark.
Truth Serum.
The very foundation.
An automated turret.
Machine-gun Betty.
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2014 Dec 1 at 19:19 PST
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aaronjer
*****'n Admin
2005 Mar 21 • 4940
1,227 ₧
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Keepin' it warm in the cooch.
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2014 Dec 1 at 21:05 PST
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