Nezumi
Asshole Admin
2005 Mar 26 • 783
175 ₧
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What's in the fridge? Soda, OJ, _... Sweet, Sunny-D!
black magic orgasms
purple stuff
The name for Idaho was derived from a Shoshone language term meaning "_".
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2015 May 9 at 17:08 PDT
— Ed. 2015 May 9 at 20:21 PDT
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Black Cards:
He died as he lived, eating butter on _____.
_____, that's what the world needs right now.
the riddle says that the treasure is buried under _____.
White cards:
Luigi's blood-stained overalls
the last thing you'd expect
the 13th circle of Hell
living dolls from "its a small world"
a malfunctioning portal gun
wait, but if you expect the unexpected, then the expected becomes the unexpected, so what do you expect?
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2015 May 10 at 15:43 PDT
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Black Cards:
In the new Dead Rising game, you can now combine _____ with _____ to create a new weapon.
That time you go to get a midnight snack and you see _____ in your fridge, but your too tired to notice it wriggling.
Selling off _____, blended and dried, as a hard drug.
Starfox! Do _____!
throwing a knife at your enemy only for it to miss and hit _____ instead.
tis' but a _____.
White Cards:
a loose Keter ranked SCP
grilled Mormons
the Broble (AKA JonTron's bible)
a purple marmoset
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
You! (Illuminati sound)
wait, but if you expect the unexpected, then the expected becomes the unexpected, so what do you expect?
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2015 May 11 at 14:10 PDT
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Accidentally decking a cop in the head
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2015 May 12 at 01:05 PDT
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aaronjer
*****'n Admin
2005 Mar 21 • 4940
1,227 ₧
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Some kind of bizarre barbecue CPR
Mouth to mouth pig ribs
Barely in the butthole
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2015 May 13 at 00:56 PDT
— Ed. 2015 May 13 at 01:16 PDT
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buq25
2008 Jul 5 • 583
295 ₧
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___ for the sole purpose of ___.
___ and ___ inside ___.
The Company would prefer if you were to wear gloves when handling ___.
Death to ___! Long live ___!
----
The new flesh
A fistful of gloves
A silly goose
Today's post brought to you by the letter: "heck".
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2015 May 13 at 03:38 PDT
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Slam dunking a baby through a skeleton's crotch.
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2015 May 13 at 08:17 PDT
— Ed. 2015 May 14 at 07:12 PDT
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New rules!
Recently, Nezumi and I removed about half of the black cards because they just don't play well.
Here's how we are deciding what makes a good black card from now on:
- Black cards should be specific. We already have enough "_: High five bro!" cards.
- Black cards should be about a particular thing, situation, or relation.
- Black cards should imply a unique interpretation of the blank(s).
- Two-fers and Three-fers should imply a unique relation between the blanks.
- But sometimes a black card is just inexplicably good.
- Black cards should be tested at: here
White cards should almost always be a noun (with an article if applicable), or a present continuous verb.
Examples:
- a real butt-toucher (singular)
- ropes (plural, so no article required)
- the little lies we tell (plural, with optional article)
- birth meat (uncountable, no article)
- hibernating with friends (present continuous verb)
There is a lot of leeway for white cards. In general, a white card that breaks grammatically but is funny can still be accepted. A black card almost certainly has to be grammatically correct.
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2015 May 14 at 00:16 PDT
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NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse
2005 Mar 22 • 1871
574 ₧
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I'm kind of stoked to play around with the revamped game now. I know that some of the black cards we found to be a bit deficient and not-exciting when they came up, but I think that there's also an issue of familiarity. We have far more cards than the original CAH, but if certain ones keep coming up, then their hilarity potential is diminished. I suspect that we'll probably keep on fine tuning it, suggesting a bunch and then removing most of them. There are certainly a few of my suggestions that I'd cull from the bunch because I don't find them to be all that funny.
I was thinking about this earlier and considered that me riffing off a Pixies lyric, "If man is _, then the devil is _ and God is _" actually turned out to be a pretty decent card for the relationships available to it and the kind of story it was capable of telling. It doesn't seem like much on first blush, but it's effective. By contrast, the more highfalutin philosophical black cards I tried to create from Victorian novels didn't work out well, because while it was funny to conceive of certain things in grandiose terms, it was too much of a mouthful to go on with each new iteration of it. I like the idea of over-the-top cards, but I've found that shorter generally plays better and I think that this is an issue we've had with both types of cards lately. Really elaborate white cards can play well, but they need to be used more sporadically so that it retains the surprise when they're deployed.
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
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2015 May 14 at 02:02 PDT
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Nezumi
Asshole Admin
2005 Mar 26 • 783
175 ₧
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I do definitely like having a large variety of cards, so hopefully our stock will keep growing over time.
The most important thing is for people to test their cards here:
http://superjer.com/forum/sah/test10.php
Just give your cards a whirl. If they don't knock your socks off, tinker with them or try something else. Testing also makes it pretty obvious when the grammar isn't quite working out.
Also: gourmet drinking chocolate
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2015 May 14 at 05:50 PDT
— Ed. 2015 May 14 at 05:50 PDT
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Oh sweet, thanks for posting the test link. I completely forgot about it. I'm going to go test my last submission now.
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2015 May 14 at 07:07 PDT
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See now black people walk like _. But white people -- white people walk like they’re _!
^
Showed up under the white cards list when I was doing the test 10 just so you know.
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2015 May 14 at 07:16 PDT
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Thanks, Jeff. I fixed that one.
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2015 May 14 at 11:13 PDT
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I'm also learning that I can't rely on random selection to choose the cards.
Randomly choosing means were not getting a very even distribution for the relatively small amount of play.
I will work on logging how often cards come up and favoring unused ones. But it could be tricky.
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2015 May 14 at 11:16 PDT
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I believe in you Superjer!
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2015 May 14 at 11:46 PDT
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That's very foolish.
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2015 May 14 at 13:27 PDT
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Black Cards: (tested)
- _____ brought 100,000 Jews to Palestine.
- _____ is my sisters desktop picture.
- Ha! You have activated my trap card! "_____!" You are now cursed with _____ until the end of the game!
- TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE! In this corner, _____, and in this corner, _____. Fight!
- The Pope holds the title _____ of Rome, which signifies his direct tie to _____.
- Alice in _____.
- I can't fit in my uniform no more because I of my addiction to ham sandwiches and reece's pieces, but its alright, at least I sound like _____.
- Would you pu-pu-pu-pick up _____?
- My full name is Aliaune Damala Bouga Time Bongo Puru Nacka Lu Lu Lu _____ Akon Thiam
White Cards:
- a swarm of radioactive explosive birds that can only be damaged by coat hangers
- a self destruct button hidden in a jammy dodger
- that amazing joke you always forget
- squealing 6 to 10 year old Call of Duty players that say your hacking whenever you kill them and never shut the hell up
- Nyan Cats sparkly barf
- The Never Ending Story the movie (spoiler, its only 46 hours long)
- saying everything in Morgan Freeman's voice
- people that don't understand Skype, but understand texting just fine
- 11,267 lucky paper cranes made from used sticky-notes
- Barney running with a mini-nuke
- an imaginary bagel full of love and "cream cheese"
- a Wii U that constantly dispenses baloney
wait, but if you expect the unexpected, then the expected becomes the unexpected, so what do you expect?
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2015 May 14 at 22:42 PDT
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Nezumi
Asshole Admin
2005 Mar 26 • 783
175 ₧
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Let's all thank Aaronjer for this card, which made us both just lose our shit:
When presented with _, _ will fart blood in anticipation.
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2015 May 15 at 15:13 PDT
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Thank you Aaronjer. Thank you.
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2015 May 15 at 15:37 PDT
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Nezumi
Asshole Admin
2005 Mar 26 • 783
175 ₧
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You put _ back right now, young man, you've already had yours!
Those hooligans over there
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2015 May 15 at 21:07 PDT
— Ed. 2015 May 15 at 21:17 PDT
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Anything can be _ if you're creative.
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2015 May 16 at 14:55 PDT
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Nezumi
Asshole Admin
2005 Mar 26 • 783
175 ₧
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To brew a love potion, besides eye of newt you need _ and _.
On my way to work today, I had to swerve around _ on the freeway.
a demon torture puzzle box
this inchworm
a watermelon
a preserved brain in a jar
a piñata full of cigarettes
Furious that I had peeked into his spellbook, the sorcerer turned me into _.
a spooky buttplug
I blew most of my family's fortune by investing in _.
my nuggets, late at night
I boobie-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by _.
"You didn't even get me anything for my birthday!" "Yes I did, remember _?"
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2015 May 16 at 16:44 PDT
— Ed. 2015 May 17 at 20:44 PDT
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aaronjer
*****'n Admin
2005 Mar 21 • 4940
1,227 ₧
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Thankfully, _ can usually be pronounced dead when finally making it to _.
My mouth
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2015 May 18 at 10:51 PDT
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Wynona's big brown beaver
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2015 May 18 at 14:01 PDT
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Nezumi
Asshole Admin
2005 Mar 26 • 783
175 ₧
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2015 May 18 at 16:14 PDT
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