So this happened, when talking on the internet.

So this happened, when talking on the internet.

General — Page [1]
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4940
1,227 ₧
Aaron Wilson: I'd play starbound but I don't know what it is and I don't have any money.

Aaron Wilson: And there is a lakitu in my house throwing around spiney shells.

Aaron Wilson: WTF

Jeffrey Loynd: I wouldn't suggest you playing it now anyway since it's still in beta

Jeffrey Loynd: KILL IT

Jeffrey Loynd: NAO

Aaron Wilson: I tried, but it was able to incapacitate me... and... Jeff... ... :(

Aaron Wilson: It raped me.

Jeffrey Loynd: ;-;

Jeffrey Loynd: It's ruined

Jeffrey Loynd: Everything is ruined

Aaron Wilson: I am no longer marriageable.

Aaron Wilson: I will become a spinster... my family will disown me.

Aaron Wilson: What kind of wife would I be?

Jeffrey Loynd: One with many quirks

Aaron Wilson: Maybe some disreputable man with a little coin and a drinking problem will take me in as a mistress. I'll be abused, but at least I'll have a roof over my head.

Jeffrey Loynd: You don't have to do that to yourself

Jeffrey Loynd: I'll take care of you from now on

Aaron Wilson: You say that, but your family and mine have always had close ties. If my family abandons me, yours will surely force you to break off contact with me on pain of exile from the estate.

Aaron Wilson: You'll lose your inheritance! And your future as a knight in the order of the black rose! I could never do that to you!

Aaron Wilson: Don't let this ruin both our lives.

Jeffrey Loynd: Don't be a fool dear one! Your love is all that matters to me! To hells with the inheritance. To hells with the order and my family!

Jeffrey Loynd: If they disown me, we disown them

Aaron Wilson: And I know you truly love the young lady of house Vetienne, would you abandon her and your own happiness for my sake alone? I could not bear it, the comfort would bring me no joy, I'd rather live in a gutter chasing rats for survival than see you both taken from each other. Lady Vetienne is kind, and beautiful, and does not deserve this betrayal.

Jeffrey Loynd: Lady Vetienne is indeed kind and beautiful, she is also a decade younger than me. I cannot be happy with a child! I'm old enough to be her uncle!

Aaron Wilson: Well, you are her second cousin once removed, if recall the family tree, but I have seen you gladly share her company! Was I reading romance when there was mere friendship between you?

Jeffrey Loynd: You were, my lady

Aaron Wilson: I hear so much talk from father about a supposed marriage arranged between you, I had assumed you were already privy to it!

Jeffrey Loynd: There is an arranged marriage arranged for me? I will have to have a word with father...

Aaron Wilson: Do not approach him aggressively! This is mere hearsay, and may be banter based on mere whimsy and speculation by my father! I know of no concrete plan to wed you to lady Vetienne. He may simply be fooled as I was into believing there was love between you.

Jeffrey Loynd: I suppose I'll have to be subtle then. But you know better than anyone how bad I am at subtlety.

Aaron Wilson: And yet I find it endlessly amusing, the day you drew steel on Sir Cullen for the mere insinuation he made about your sister. I've never seen a man so ready to beg forgiveness. Woe be to the woman who finds herself his wife, he is a man fit for nothing, if a man at all.

Aaron Wilson: But this distraction has only lasted for so long! What am I to do? If you really wish to leave all your fortune and future behind, would we not be forced to flee the city, mayhap even the country? Your father would blame me, for certain, labelling me harlot and seductress... could I even live with the fear of his wrath? I know nothing of the customs outside our lands, how would we survive?

Jeffrey Loynd: We'll find a way

Jeffrey Loynd: I have friends outside the country. I will let them know we are coming. They'll be ready to ferry us away from all of this

Aaron Wilson: Oh, but I would hate to disappear in the night like some rogue... would be that there was some way to make my sisters understand! They are too young to make sense of this... I dread to think of what they will be told of me, what they will think of me! And sweet Charlotte, she cannot bear to part from my side for more than mere minutes ever since mother died... but I supposed I would be taken from her regardless, by your plan or by my exile...

Aaron Wilson: Curse that lakitu! I would gladly endure its violation a hundred times if it meant no man ever knew of it!

Jeffrey Loynd: Then we must find a way to erase the past

Jeffrey Loynd: Come

Jeffrey Loynd: We shall do it together!

Jeffrey Loynd: *Que dramatic music*

Aaron Wilson: This is making me laugh so hard I'm not sure I can continue the charade? Improv? What are we even doing?

Aaron Wilson: This needs to go down in the history books.

Jeffrey Loynd: I have no idea. How even did this happen?

Aaron Wilson: I can't believe this started with lakitu rape.

Jeffrey Loynd: I just about bust my gut. Which would have been really awkward since I'm sitting across from my boss

Jeffrey Loynd: Bwahahahaha
2013 Dec 11 at 15:53 PST — Ed. 2013 Dec 11 at 15:56 PST
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse

Good Conduct Medal
2005 Mar 22 • 1871
574 ₧
(deep breath)


no actually that was pretty funny and seemed to accurately represent the conventions of the genre etc... and all from a lakitu! do lakitu have spiny peens? now i don't want to be thinking about this

100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
2013 Dec 11 at 16:07 PST — Ed. 2013 Dec 11 at 16:08 PST

2005 Mar 20 • 6629
NatureJay said:
do lakitu have spiny peens?

The answer, Jay, is NO. STOP ASKING.
2013 Dec 12 at 00:16 PST
polly pushy pants

2008 Aug 1 • 3080
-6 ₧
what a Bro.
I drink to forget but I always remember.
2013 Dec 16 at 23:06 PST
Down Rodeo
Cap'n Moth of the Firehouse

Find the Hole II Participation Medal
2007 Oct 19 • 5486
57,583 ₧
2013 Dec 28 at 09:32 PST
My points value is a hilarious example of numerical humor.

2009 Dec 13 • 566
80,085 ₧
I can feel the gayness,surging from within!
2013 Dec 29 at 03:43 PST
fedex _

2009 Mar 23 • 909
13 ₧
Outcast said:
I can feel the gayness,surging from within!

explain you're self lol
melloyellow582 said:
I post sometimes, to make a point.
2013 Dec 29 at 14:30 PST
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