The Karatron 8,000,000,000
The Karatron 8,000,000,000
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Transcript
The KARATRON 8,000,000,000
The world's most advanced karaoke machine by a WIDE margin
Bunch of kids yelling happily: KARATRON!
*narrator* Kids love the Karatron 8 Billion! (Warning: the Karatron 8 Billion is
not a toy.)
Singer: Once I switched to the Karatron 8 Billion, my karaoke career has soared
to a new level!
*narrator* The Karatron 8 Billion provides a karaoke experience unlike anything
you've ever seen, or could possibly comprehend.
(Caution: some components of the Karatron 8 Billion have an operating
temperature exceeding 4000 degrees fahrenheit.)
Singer: The Karatron 8 Billion may be big, but all the size comes with an
inordinate amount of power!
*pictured* People singing VERY loudly
*narrator* Get ready for an exclusive behind-the-scenes look at the creation of
the Karatron 8 Billion!
Engineer: Creating the Karatron 8 Billion was no small feat.
Other Engineer: Creating the Karatron 8 Billion was NO small feat.
*narrator* The creation of the Karatron 8 Billion involved over 10 million man
hours, countless government grants, and a net budget exceeding that of some
wars.
Third Engineer: Creating the Karatron 8 Billion was NO SMALL FEAT.
*narrator* The Karatron 8 Billion has already solved some of the most profound
mysteries of the cosmos.
Nerdy guy: Astrophysicists have long been unable to detect or determine the
nature of dark matter in the universe. But the first time we powered on the
Karatron 8 Billion, it absorbed all the dark matter in the universe to use as a
fuel source. Problem? Solved.
*narrator* Coming soon: the new, portable Karatron 8 Billionths
Singer: Now I can take the Karatron with me wherever I go. (Human mounting
brackets, forklift and safety harness not included.)
*pictured* KARATRON 8/1,000,000,000
*narrator* Let's hear more from people actually using the Karatron 8 Billionths.
Singer: With the Karatron 8 Billionths, I no longer need to sing. In fact, I
can't!
*narrator* The Karatron 8 Billionths emits a complex soundwave capable of
amusing, soothing, and slightly titillating human audiences.
Engineer: Less than half of the people subjected to the Karatron 8 Billionths
even complain, vocally.
KARATRON CORPORATION
Karaoke for everyone, everywhere, always.
(Warning: misuse of the Karatron 8 Billion or Karatron 8 Billionths will cause
instant hearing loss, instant bone loss, memory loss, and loss of actual past
events.)
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2014 Jun 18 at 17:15 UTC
— Ed. 2014 Jun 18 at 18:35 UTC
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*narrator* The Karatron 8 Billion contains all songs that have been, will be, or won't be recorded. The Karatron 8 Billion even contains some impossible music that simply can't exist.
Woman: I lost my husband's wedding ring in my sister's Conglomerate Disposal Confactory. But thanks to the Karatron 8 Billion, such a device was now never invented in this timeline!
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Poll: Funniest non-existent device to lose a wedding ring in?
Conglomerate Disposal Confactory
Conglomerate Disposal Hutch
Dub Hutch
Regressive Tube Juicer
Rotary Counting Box
...?
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2014 Jun 18 at 18:31 UTC
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aaronjer
*****'n Admin
2005 Mar 21 • 5054
1,227 ₧
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Hutch?
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2014 Jun 20 at 06:10 UTC
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Nezumi
Asshole Admin
2005 Mar 27 • 818
175 ₧
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"The Karatron 8,000,000,000 WILL change your life."
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2014 Jun 20 at 06:39 UTC
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NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse
2005 Mar 23 • 1871
574 ₧
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Nezumi said: "The Karatron 8,000,000,000 WILL change your life."
"You have NO CHOICE but to have your life changed by The Karatron 8,000,000,000."
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
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2014 Jun 20 at 18:39 UTC
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