Dream Time

Dream Time

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aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4940
1,227 ₧
I've never met a prostitute, and my dick is average sized, maybe slightly smaller than average.
 
 
 
2010 Jul 23 at 22:51 PDT
sprinkles

Chrome Whore
2009 Sep 6 • 2547
10 ₧
+rep for the 18 page!
 
 
 
2010 Jul 23 at 23:35 PDT
the_cloud_system
polly pushy pants

2008 Aug 1 • 3080
-6 ₧
I WAS HEAR B4 YOUUU
I drink to forget but I always remember.
 
 
 
2010 Jul 23 at 23:38 PDT
jrkookid
Half Irish, half NOT FUNNY

2007 May 27 • 1415
110 ₧
the_cloud_system said:
I WAS HEAR B4 YOUUU

I can only imagine your avatar saying that.
 
 
 
2010 Jul 24 at 00:38 PDT
fedex _

2009 Mar 23 • 909
13 ₧
aaronjer said:
I've never met a prostitute, and my dick is average sized, maybe slightly smaller than average.






wtf .... nobody really wants to know your dick size
melloyellow582 said:
I post sometimes, to make a point.
 
 
 
2010 Jul 24 at 00:42 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4940
1,227 ₧
Don't worry, Fedex, I'm uploading a video of it and it's inner workings right now.
 
 
 
2010 Jul 24 at 01:13 PDT
the_cloud_system
polly pushy pants

2008 Aug 1 • 3080
-6 ₧






made simpler
I drink to forget but I always remember.
 
 
 
2010 Jul 24 at 01:30 PDT
sprinkles

Chrome Whore
2009 Sep 6 • 2547
10 ₧
SolidKAYOS said:
aaronjer said:
I've never felt so dejected as when I was turned down by a prostitute... with one glance!

Is it because so many prostitutes want you that you actually dream of one just rejecting you?

the_cloud_system said:
casue you have a big dick

aaronjer said:
I've never met a prostitute, and my dick is average sized, maybe slightly smaller than average.



Ok, so there is a reason you were talking about prostitutes and your cock.
 
 
 
2010 Jul 24 at 13:38 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4940
1,227 ₧
What do you mean? You are confusing me. Why would there be confusion about a reason? It was a dream?
 
 
 
2010 Jul 24 at 21:20 PDT — Ed. 2010 Jul 24 at 21:20 PDT
sprinkles

Chrome Whore
2009 Sep 6 • 2547
10 ₧
aaronjer said:
What do you mean? You are confusing me. Why would there be confusion about a reason? It was a dream?


Because, it was on the previous page. I didn't see the previous page. I went to the last post, which was awkward. I was going to ask you if you were dreaming about getting a bigger penis.
 
 
 
2010 Jul 24 at 21:33 PDT
SRAW
Rocket Man

2007 Nov 6 • 2525
601 ₧
I still dont know what this tread is about
Free Steam Games
 
 
 
2010 Jul 24 at 21:44 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4940
1,227 ₧
It's about SuperJer's life-long struggle against his brother's annoying habit of telling people about dreams.
 
 
 
2010 Jul 24 at 21:51 PDT
the_cloud_system
polly pushy pants

2008 Aug 1 • 3080
-6 ₧
i had a dream about this
I drink to forget but I always remember.
 
 
 
2010 Jul 24 at 21:56 PDT
SRAW
Rocket Man

2007 Nov 6 • 2525
601 ₧
I have a dream, that one day my little black niglets will...
-Martin Luther King 12xx, when breaking away from the pope
Free Steam Games
 
 
 
2010 Jul 24 at 22:09 PDT
sprinkles

Chrome Whore
2009 Sep 6 • 2547
10 ₧
Sraw, what is the point of your existence?

ooohhhhh burn!

Please don't go cry and cut yourself.
 
 
 
2010 Jul 24 at 22:26 PDT
SolidKAYOS
Count Adelaide

Roar Of The Tigress Medal
2007 Jun 24 • 84
68 ₧
aaronjer said:
Don't worry, Fedex, I'm uploading a video of it and it's inner workings right now.

"Welcome..to aaronjers penis.."
Make awkward sexual advances, not war.
Down Rodeo said:
Dammit, this was the one place that didn't have this, but noooooo, molkman pisses all over that
 
 
 
2010 Jul 25 at 20:17 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4940
1,227 ₧
I'll have to make it stick out to the right of my posts. Maybe animate it to jizz a little.
 
 
 
2010 Jul 25 at 21:16 PDT
SolidKAYOS
Count Adelaide

Roar Of The Tigress Medal
2007 Jun 24 • 84
68 ₧
and sraw swallowing it?
Make awkward sexual advances, not war.
Down Rodeo said:
Dammit, this was the one place that didn't have this, but noooooo, molkman pisses all over that
 
 
 
2010 Jul 25 at 21:41 PDT
the_cloud_system
polly pushy pants

2008 Aug 1 • 3080
-6 ₧
looken like <=====3
I drink to forget but I always remember.
 
 
 
2010 Jul 25 at 22:12 PDT — Ed. 2010 Jul 25 at 22:13 PDT
fedex _

2009 Mar 23 • 909
13 ₧
aaronjer said:
Don't worry, Fedex, I'm uploading a video of it and it's inner workings right now.



lmao
melloyellow582 said:
I post sometimes, to make a point.
 
 
 
2010 Jul 26 at 17:39 PDT
NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse

Good Conduct Medal
2005 Mar 22 • 1871
574 ₧
So I had a dream last night that I was sitting in on a student council meeting in the lounge. The dean, who was some short balding greasy man in a sweat stained t-shirt, explained that the meeting was going to start the meeting soon, which meant that certain people had to leave, at which point he looked at Scott who was packing his stuff up anyway. He said he was going but then the dean called out two body guards and told them to defenestrate him, but they weren't successful and what followed were a few judo tosses and a kick in the junk or two.

The meeting was about the spending of a budget surplus. One student suggested using it on something he called "lycos heating" to which I said "what?" This was apparently the wrong thing to say because no one had any desire to explain it to me, and for about fifteen minutes the discussion diverted to how I was an asshole for even asking even though it probably would have taken them a sentence or two to summarize what they were getting at. After a while, it got to the third or fourth girl who was basically trying to get up in my grill because I was asking a simple question, so I spun my chair over to her and got to about two inches away from her face and said something along the lines of "hey darlin', why don't we just cut all this bullshit and you just tell me what it is?" to which she smiled coyly and then told me I didn't deserve to be told.

I woke up before I could flip shit.
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
 
 
 
2010 Jul 28 at 09:35 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4940
1,227 ₧
What the fuck? You don't know what lycos heating is? You're retarded. How did you even manage to sign up on the forums?!
 
 
 
2010 Jul 28 at 09:48 PDT
the_cloud_system
polly pushy pants

2008 Aug 1 • 3080
-6 ₧
i had a dream last night

i was in a big city, reminded me of Gotham from batman. it was about 9:00 as i was going to go to this party. People where having drinks and having fun, some guy with a psp costume stumbled over to me and pulls out a knife and stabs me. i stab him back but the psp costume was so crapley made i might as well stabbed the air. i go down and there is this girl that walks up to me and lifts me up and says "go with them".

so now im in this big-ass apartment complex some guy says its 9:30
theres a skinny guy a big guy(seth rogen) and a girl that told me to go with them. we are at the edge of the complex, just 3 storeys up. We knock on the door and this guy opens it, sees us, closes it, and we can hear massive locks being closed. so we all try knocking the door down and there is no use. we see cop lights in the distant buildings, we bail out.

i find a metal arm holding a retractable 1/4 wire with a metal loop and a ball at the end of it(like those work out machines) just hovering above a metal grate with hinges that face the other way, I grab the loop and kick the grate and fall down to the alleyway. i start running towards the open street and stopped just as i got into the open and saw a cop and started walking casually after running, i got everybody's attention, and i just walked right by them all.

then this guy with yellow shades looked at me and said "hi there little boy" and i started running towards the ocean. lots of people where following me and the mobs of people i passed where following me also. I eventually got to the cost and ran left up it. there was a rail across it that shined in the moon light. i looked up, the moon had turned into a big ass spotlight and i was running in it the people i passed i dogged them by jumping over them and running along the rail, then Finley. i was running towards a corner that just went out for 6 feet then continued on. going striate. i got to the rail running full sprint and jumped on the rail and landed in the ocean diving head on, i got into the water and hit my head and rolled down the depths.

i guess i died.
I drink to forget but I always remember.
 
 
 
2010 Sep 18 at 13:03 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4940
1,227 ₧
I had a dream with an impressive plot twist.

I was a spy for a sort of global criminal organization. One of those James Bond type organizations except without silly giant lasers and ridiculous henchmen. We still had an evil island headquarters though. We were pretty much just making money illegally and occasionally assassinating people. Of course, in James Bond fashion, there was a super-spy and a secret government task force out to stop us.

The super-spy's codename was Idea. I never found out her real name. She was tall, beautiful and a total badass. Everywhere she went our schemes fell into disarray. I have fond memories of escaping from one of my organization's secret mountain bases just before she blew it up. I believe that occurred in Switzerland. As time went on I noticed more and more that although she had impressive combat skills and a tactical mind, nearly endless resources, and competent allies her most potent weapon was luck. Buildings would crash down around her and leave her unscratched, while crushing her enemies. That sort of thing.

My organization's evil board of directors decided to lay a trap for her. We leaked information about our secret island headquarters while at the same time we moved our important assets elsewhere. Our plan was to set an ambush for her there, which I was the leader of, and if we failed we'd blow up the entire island and her with it. For once, everything seemed to be falling into place for us. She came to the island alone, and after a short chase we managed to corner her up against a cliff. Before I finished raising my gun to shoot her I was already worried because of the grin on her face. My handgun was freed from my grasp by means of a sniper bullet, and my team was immediately shot dead by special forces hiding in the forest around us. She knew who I was, and knew that I had information. As a last ditch effort I activated the detonator to destroy the island and with it both of us. Quite unpredictably, it did not function. She told me she had already disarmed the bomb.

This... this was not possible. Not even just villain yelling "IMPOSSIBLE!" kind of impossible. It was really, actually and totally impossible. I had just set the bomb and walked out of the only entrance to the base to meet her as she came in from the beach. My people were watching her the whole time. Maybe someone else could have disarmed the bomb, but it certainly wasn't her. I mentioned my revelation to her, and to my surprise, she looked just as confused as I was. She then looked as though she had just come upon a most horrifying realization. At that moment the world began to fade away. Everyone and everything except her slowly turned dark and disappeared. She fell unconscious and to the non-existent floor. At the same time she inexplicably lost a decade of age. She had been in her late twenties before and now looked like she was about eighteen.

A new world formed around us. A small, poorly lit world. Even with only morning light coming through a covered window I could tell this was a teenage girl's room. Cluttered posters of sexy men and cosmetic messiness. Idea was in what appeared to be her bed, just stirring to wake up. It then occurred to me that I had not traveled through time, and that this wasn't some ridiculous plot to extract information from me. Everything had been her dream. It made perfect sense. She was the center of everything and her luck really was a thing of fantasy. The only thing that didn't fit is that I didn't disappear with the fantasy. My suit was even still a little sandy from being on the island.

I was at a complete loss for action or words. I had no immediate reason to kill her anymore, as she clearly wasn't an actual super-spy... and the criminal organization I worked for didn't even exist. I tried desperately to think of what I should do in this situation when Idea's yelp of surprise brought me to full attention. She was just as surprised to see me as I was to exist. My impulsive instinct was to shoot her and run away, and my back-up handgun had come out of the dream with me. I did not do this though. My curiosity was a strong deterrent. Also one has to be very determined to go through with the shooting a of a pretty, unarmed girl in her underwear. I was greedy evil, not psychopath evil. Then she started screaming, I guess she was at a loss for rational action in this irrational situation as well. I instinctively pulled out my gun and pointed it at her, but this only made her scream incoherently and interject phrases like "don't shoot me" and "he's got a gun".

Before I could put the gun away, which I now felt foolish for bothering to point at her, her parents burst in through her door. They angrily asked me who the fuck I was. I responded truthfully by telling them I didn't know because she didn't think up a name for me. The father, armed with a .45, clearly believed me to be armed and insane and fired at me. With apparent success I dove out of the way and fired back. I was an excellent marksman in Idea's imagination, and that didn't change here. I was quite sure I had put a bullet in both her parent's brains, regardless of how tangled I was with Idea after having dived in the direction far less likely to receive bullets. Despite this, her father continued to be alive and point a gun at me. I fired again with no effect. I paused with confusion and her parents paused with hesitation. I suppose Idea preferred to be alone in bed, and she unceremoniously dumped me on the floor. Now clear of accidental daughter shooting tragedies, Idea's father shot at me. His weapon also seemed to be firing blanks. I leapt up and threw a punch at him, which he was too inept to step out of the way of, and I found myself stumbling on the other side of him.

Apparently I had been reduced to being Idea's imaginary friend. Except I was more an imaginary enemy... and everyone else could see me... and I could touch her. I also seemed to be able to interact with physical objects in a frustratingly arbitrary manner. I did not pass through her bed or the floor I was standing on, but I did pass through his clothes as I passed through him . It was like a poorly written movie and I found it to be most irritating. Her father turned around to look for me, after I had got all up in his face and disappeared from his perspective. I attempted to grab the gun out of his hand, and much to my surprise, it actually worked! I was pretty sure I could really shoot him with this gun. Luckily for Idea's family structure and income, I realized he had no way of harming me before I decided to shoot him.

Sadly, I remember almost nothing after this point, as people wouldn't quit distracting me from writing this. There was something about a war going on with aliens which turned out to really be between God and the Devil. I was the only one unaffected by the devil's evil powers because I wasn't real or some shit like that. Also I'm pretty sure I sexually assaulted Idea in a bathroom at some point... while her friends were there. Hey, it was her fault I was evil. Shut up.

 
 
 
2010 Oct 3 at 23:07 PDT
Rockbomb
Dog fucker (but in a good way now)

2009 Nov 13 • 2045
Man, you should seriously consider writing a book.
 
 
 
2010 Oct 4 at 08:09 PDT
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