Rockbomb
Dog fucker (but in a good way now)

2009 Nov 14 • 2045

I have no clue what it is, and have never played it, but I am dedicating this thread as the official Dwarf Fortress thread.
Discuss.

aaronjer
*****'n Admin


2005 Mar 21 • 5105
1,227 ₧

Dwarf Fortress is a game for all ages. Except those that don't enjoy fun! I wouldn't play it right now, the material system is pretty broken and it ruins combat...

the_cloud_system
polly pushy pants

2008 Aug 1 • 3081
-6 ₧

oh fuck i remember this game... it came on a cd with pc gamer mag.


fucking sucked.

Down Rodeo
Cap'n Moth of the Firehouse


2007 Oct 19 • 5486
57,583 ₧

:(

the_cloud_system
polly pushy pants

2008 Aug 1 • 3081
-6 ₧

well i didn't play it much and it frustrated me so bleh.

Down Rodeo
Cap'n Moth of the Firehouse


2007 Oct 19 • 5486
57,583 ₧

:(

Rockbomb
Dog fucker (but in a good way now)

2009 Nov 14 • 2045

Think of how you're making the dwarves feel right now, Cloud

the_cloud_system
polly pushy pants

2008 Aug 1 • 3081
-6 ₧

*punt

the_cloud_system
polly pushy pants

2008 Aug 1 • 3081
-6 ₧

fuckin dwarves.

siva12
2012 Feb 9 • 1

hi thanks for your information

Rockbomb
Dog fucker (but in a good way now)

2009 Nov 14 • 2045

You're very welcome, faggot.

the_cloud_system
polly pushy pants

2008 Aug 1 • 3081
-6 ₧

http://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/qg9zv/what_is_dwarf_fortress_and_why_all_our_community/

NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse


2005 Mar 23 • 1871
574 ₧

Update: I have abandoned "Ectogirders" but not before two extremely important things happened.

1. One of my fisherdwarves went nuts and made a cabinet out of capybara bones, engraved with images of giant snails [none of my dwarves have ever seen giant snails] and something dedicated to the founding of Ectogirders. All my relics from that play were dedicated to the founding of Ectogirders.
2. A goblin had a short day. It tried to get into my fort and was captured by a cage trap almost immediately. Being that I've barely played the game at all, I figured out how to disarm it, but not how to release it. It sat in the cage for a year, stewing in goblin juices. Then a dwarven caravan came along and I thought "fuck it, I'll trade the goblin to them and see what happens." The goblin didn't take kindly to this and escaped almost immediately. The issue was that the only way to leave the fort is through the trap hallway, and between the trap hallway and the stockpile, there was the meeting area, and most of my dwarves, who were transporting things. A few seconds later, I pause the game and examine the goblin who now has six lines worth of broken or gashed things. One of its thumbs has been knocked off and somehow a bolt has taken out all of the BACK TEETH in its upper jaw. Crumpling to the floor, it has its face chewed off by a stray dog who happened to be nearby, and this finally kills the goblin. For this feat, the stray dog is bestowed with the title of Diamondjaws. Most of the dog by this time was covered in goblin blood. It may have attacked because it was being covered in goblin blood.

Ectogirders, sadly, never filled with ghosts because everyone was murdered too quickly. Whoops.

New fortress is Roughnesspointed. A name to aspire to. Jack shit has happened and I've been playing for two full years now but there are two things worth mentioning:

1. The third wave of migrants had the arrival of a near legendary cook/mason, who has spent most of the past year carving and cooking masterpieces. Every five seconds, masterpieces. When one of my dwarves went secretive recently, the result was a hematite flute carved with the image of the legendary mason erecting a microcline door. That's how amazing he is.
2. In preparation for the goblin siege which sort of fucked me the last time, I built and designated a hospital to prepare for, I don't know, something. Around the time that was finished, the elven caravan arrived. Due to bugs or general fun, all of my dwarves immediately stopped being idle for about half an hour and upon investigation, I have discovered that they were robbing the caravan blind of every piece of cloth it had so that they could fill the medical coffers. The elves, being a stoic race, have yet to notice and I'm not about to alert them.

NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse


2005 Mar 23 • 1871
574 ₧

Today I fought a titan. Goblins don't seem to exist in my world?

Down Rodeo
Cap'n Moth of the Firehouse


2007 Oct 19 • 5486
57,583 ₧

Towering one-eyed weasel? Nice. One day, I will properly play Dwarf Fortress.

One day.

NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse


2005 Mar 23 • 1871
574 ₧

A towering one-eyed weasel with a regal demeanor and deadly spittle! DO NOT FORGET THAT I WAS UNDER SIEGE AS THE RESULT OF A DICK JOKE

Here's something that didn't happen: I built a well with no practical understanding of how floodgates work. The result was that the water didn't stop and since I didn't dwarf-proof the channel ahead of time, one of my best hunters got washed into the reservoir along with both of his pets. Being that his body was unrecoverable, he then turned into a furious ghost and in the resulting tantrum spiral one of the minors took out the reservoir wall and killed everyone left who wasn't insane. That definitely didn't happen.

Here's something that did happen: I built a well with a meager understanding of how floodgates worked and dwarf-proofed it from the get-go. I waited a bit too long to reset the floodgate and as a result my hospital flooded for a while, but no one drowned even though there was a baby in the water for a while and also possibly a pig in the middle. Ever since the well has stopped overflowing, people have really appreciated having clean accessible water for the first time in two years.

aaronjer
*****'n Admin


2005 Mar 21 • 5105
1,227 ₧

It sounds like you're playing dwarf fortress!

NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse


2005 Mar 23 • 1871
574 ₧

It does sound like I'm playing Dwarf Fortress!

I found caverns earlier today. I haven't explored them yet. What I do know is that cavern plants are now growing in that area of my hospital which was previously flooded. I hope that the injured dwarves find themselves comforted by the presence of trees and bushes because I ain't doing shit about it.

I seem to notice that in this version of Dwarf Fortress, the moods are... okay I didn't play any other version of Dwarf Fortress, but I had a weaver flip out and take over a loom. He requested: rock blocks, metal bars, and logs. I had the latter two lying around. I needed to make some stone blocks. So I did! The dwarf in question continued to sit at the loom screaming its fool head off. Dwarves are some bullshit, man.

NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse


2005 Mar 23 • 1871
574 ₧

I am now the proud owner of an artifact silver shield with an image of itself carved into it. Fortunately the image of the silver shield is also in silver. It also has an image of oaks, done in a rock, and an image of a gem, done in wood. Because dwarves. The name of the artifact is "Syrupreined". Because dwarves.

NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse


2005 Mar 23 • 1871
574 ₧

A Savanna Titan wrecked my shit.

Descr:


I didn't actually have to worry about its poisonous bite because it spent most of the battle jamming one or another of its many legs through the heads of my dwarves before they could attack anything. In fact, the entire melee portion of my army was wiped out (probably because they were too busy being covered in web and then impaled) and it was only the hunters that seemed to slow it down. It was finally killed when an animal caretaker punched it in the leg and it fell over.

Down Rodeo
Cap'n Moth of the Firehouse


2007 Oct 19 • 5486
57,583 ₧

I just want you to know that despite the fact that there's not a lot of feedback for your stories, they're freaking hilarious. Please keep posting them. Were this a Facebookalike I'd be liking, Reddit upvotes, Google +1s, Digg duggs, whatever.

SRAW
Rocket Man

2007 Nov 6 • 2525
601 ₧

Naturejay, as dr said, you should consider posting your stuff on a major website. Then use your new-found popularity to further the cause of superjer.com™

NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse


2005 Mar 23 • 1871
574 ₧

I think people who play Dwarf Fortress know that this is pretty common for Dwarf Fortress logic. I don't know where I'd post it anyway.

I reloaded the game and am now being attacked by a cyclops.

Monster: I'd like to attack Roughnesspointed, sir.
King of the Monsters: Is that more than one eye I see in your head?
Monster: Y-yes.
King of the Monsters: GET OUT

Cyclops is identified with the title of The Permanencies of Play. This cyclops plays for keeps. Its surname, on the other hand, is ControlLilacs. I just....

It didn't get a hit off, much like the two-headed man that attacked my fortress before it. Instead it had most of its limbs broken before it passed out due to pain and got hit in the head nine times, then died. That was... brief.

Down Rodeo
Cap'n Moth of the Firehouse


2007 Oct 19 • 5486
57,583 ₧

Hall of traps? Oh, you should make the minecart shotgun! Messy, effective, hilarious. Like all good Dwarf Fortress contraptions. I don't really get the underlying mechanics of it, but it involves launching minecarts filled with heavy things (like gold bars) and sharp things (like swords and axes and what-have-you) at a low wall at high speed. Minecart hits wall, objects in minecart fly down long, specially-built tunnel ideally containing goblins. Reload, reset, wash away the manky bits, try again!

NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse


2005 Mar 23 • 1871
574 ₧

I've yet to use a minecart in game for anything, but if I think about it a little, I can see where it probably would be possible to pull something like that off. Maybe a pressure plate system triggers it or there is one hall type entrance that is a false entrance and then a few other hatch entrances. It would be a little hard to rig in my current fortress for how it was initially designed and the fact that there are NO GOBLINS. I've been playing for about four years of game time and all I see are titans, cyclopses, forgotten beasts, and the occasional kobold. A kobold fucked up a few of my dogs last night. Made me sad. But the dogs were all strays because holy shit my fortress has way too many pets just wandering around with kittens and the yaks and the cows and the ships and the alpacas and I'm still waiting for that goddamned pair of breeding leopards I got off the elves to knock their little kitty boots already.