aaronjer
*****'n Admin
2005 Mar 21 • 4940
1,227 ₧
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So, who is up for a new pole-socking tournament? We'll need at least three members on each team, and you all have to have your own mallets. NO SHARING MALLETS. We won't need uniforms or anything but we should at least have a shirts and skins type of thing going on. I'll see if I can get the good Dr. Crytax in here to write up the team roster again.
I've come up with a few new rules to take care of some of the problems in the last game.
1: No more steel toed shoes or cleats of ANY kind.
2: When guarding your home pole, you are NOT allowed to step away from the "proximity" line.
3: Ilor is off the team.
4: If you perform a class A or S sock on a home pole, both teams must wait one minute before socking either home pole.
5: In the case that an f4 or f5 tornado forms on the socking field, you are allowed to move outside of your boundary zone to avoid certain death.
6: Ilor is not allowed to rejoin ANY pole-socking team in ANY league administrated by SuperJer.com.
7: NO MORE DUNE BUGGIES. They are WAY to expensive to clean up after a succesful triple socking run.
8: Heatseeking mallets are no longer allowed.
9: Renting mallets can only be authorized by me. If you are using an unauthorized mallet you will be penalized or discarded.
10: Flying? Will you build me a pole-socking hall of fame building? It needs to have at least twelve spotlights, and 8 inch concrete walls. If you could put in EZ access revolving doors, I'd much appreciate it. Make sure that the self destruct sequence is at least 50 digits long, I wouldn't want the T's to blow it up while anyone is still in the building. Also, make sure to put in at least 2 miles of tunnel mazes, with ladder traps and auto turrets. Thanks Flying!
Red Team
1. Mr. Ribbon
2. ???
3. ???
Blue Team
1. Jet Monkey Duo
2. ???
3. ???
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2005 Mar 24 at 17:21 PST
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Awe poor Ilor....I want on JMD's team!!!
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2005 Mar 24 at 18:22 PST
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aaronjer
*****'n Admin
2005 Mar 21 • 4940
1,227 ₧
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Righty-o.
If Ilor gives me a dollar he can be on blue team.
Red Team
1. Mr. Ribbon
2. ???
3. ???
Blue Team
1. Jet Monkey Duo
2. Mr. Smoke
3. ???
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2005 Mar 24 at 19:38 PST
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If I give you 2 dollars can Ilor join?
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2005 Mar 24 at 19:58 PST
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aaronjer
*****'n Admin
2005 Mar 21 • 4940
1,227 ₧
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Only if it is in the form of 1 dollar coin, 1 half dollar, 1 quarter, 1 dime, 1 nickle and a canadian 20 dollar bill.
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2005 Mar 24 at 21:36 PST
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Hello aaronjer. I've created a preliminary sketch for the project. I took some liberties with the ladder traps and stinger mis-Isles, but I think you'll be quite pleased.
Well don't let me stuff a bunch of words into your mouth -- take a look for yourself:
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2005 Mar 24 at 23:11 PST
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Fuck that aaron, Ilor can find his own way on.
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2005 Mar 25 at 04:44 PST
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NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse
2005 Mar 22 • 1871
574 ₧
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Well, we could put Ilor on the Pariah Team, but I think those were written out of the charter back in the '70s. Something about "cruel and unusual somethingorother"...
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
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2005 Mar 25 at 11:01 PST
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aaronjer
*****'n Admin
2005 Mar 21 • 4940
1,227 ₧
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Flying... those ladder traps need to be double-runged onto the primary cluster. I guess you wouldn't know that though. Also, can you move the grassy fields in the southern caverns to a lower level? I think they'd look much more stylish there. I really liked the way you decorated the living quarters too, very nice. Keep me updated!
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2005 Mar 25 at 17:19 PST
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I've got bad cramps... can I get a cushy office job?
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2005 Mar 28 at 14:34 PST
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Ribbon, keep those cramps to yourself.
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2005 Mar 28 at 15:53 PST
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Ok people, I'm here to announce that anyone caught using tornado-scripts to automatically achieve hyper spin levels will be immediately banned from the league. Cheaters never prosper.
On a lighter note, blue team automatically gets +3 'arbitrary' points.
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2005 Mar 28 at 16:50 PST
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That better mean that red team gets at least +2 'consolation' points. I'll not have you get the drop on me again!
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2005 Mar 28 at 21:37 PST
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We already got the drop on you. Say hello to the droppage.
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2005 Mar 29 at 06:06 PST
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aaronjer
*****'n Admin
2005 Mar 21 • 4940
1,227 ₧
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There's a few specific rules I came up with for this game only, because of the location we are using.
1: Due to the swampy terrain we are on, high-poling will no longer be against the rules, and will earn you can extra 5 points per class of sock.
2: During half time, you may move your own home pole up to thirty feet from its original position.
3: Swamp pods may NOT be used as a substitute for rock-socking, they make an awful mess.
4: The "brake line" will not be used in the pole-socking tournament.
5: You may not call any "hammer drag" penalties, as it would only hurt the player to do so in the terrain.
6: Any indirect socking will be considering cheating in this game, and your team will be penalized no more than 30 points depending on the case.
7: Superjer sucks.
8: Ilor is cut.
9: Mr. Smoke's team has to be the shirts, because he is disfigured and nobody wants to see that. (and NO using your tendrils to trip other players this time Smoke!)
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2005 Mar 29 at 17:20 PST
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Pretty sure I'm on Ribbon's team, since that's how it was last time before the bad things happen. I think Mao's in too, I don't know.
Are we allowed to use light-grade hammers this time?
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2005 Mar 29 at 17:38 PST
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Yes, any hammer under the 8 kiloton class is legal for this round.
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2005 Mar 29 at 21:20 PST
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aaronjer
*****'n Admin
2005 Mar 21 • 4940
1,227 ₧
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Red Team
1. Mr. Ribbon
2. Foshizzy
3. Conrad
Blue Team
1. Jet Monkey Duo
2. Mr. Smoke
3. Ilor
Okay, we CAN play with this many people, but more is always better, so if anyone wants to join just holler.
About the lightweight hammers, you CAN use any size under 16 kilos. For this game I wouldn't suggest going under 4 though. The poles are more massive in this round, so you'd have to make a class A sock out of at least an f3 to make any resonation. No resonation, no points. You also wouldn't want to use anything above 8, because there will be few f4's and no f5's, and you won't be able to get the hammer up to the pole's resonation point.
If you hadn't noticed, I uncut Ilor. I did this because he has lymphoma and it is his "make a wish" request.
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2005 Mar 30 at 21:43 PST
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UberJer
Was: Xion
2005 Mar 24 • 187
172 ₧
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Pardon my ignorance but what is this game?
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2005 Mar 30 at 22:33 PST
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NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse
2005 Mar 22 • 1871
574 ₧
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Pole socking and storm chasing.
The object is both.
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
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2005 Mar 30 at 23:02 PST
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Ilor paid you aaron? It is a miracle.
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2005 Mar 31 at 05:31 PST
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NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse
2005 Mar 22 • 1871
574 ₧
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I have a couple of questions about how we're setting this up, I've got a report I need to FAX off to the associated press before we go through with this...
First and most importantly: tornado wranglers. We still a go on this? I'm not sure how many storms there would be to chase otherwise, seeing as how hurricane season is over already. Then again, I don't have the slightest idea what happened to our last cadre of wranglers, so we may have to resort to artificial means, and those never work the way they're supposed to....
Second, what are we looking at in terms of vehicles this round? Hovercrafts? Jet-skis? How's our minefield situation looking?
Thanks. I may have more questions later...
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
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2005 Apr 1 at 21:52 PST
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aaronjer
*****'n Admin
2005 Mar 21 • 4940
1,227 ₧
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To answer your questions entirely out of order:
1. No flying vehicles of any sort (check with me on hovercraft.)
2. No ground vehicles of any sort under 2 tons or over 18 tons.
3 The minefields have been placed according to tournament regulations, you are only allowed to set your own mines within 800' of your home pole.
4. Jet-skis are allowed if they are cool looking.
5. We got a new specialized team of "tornado heisters". These guys are much more proficient then the wranglers we had, because instead of looking for any ol' tornado, they steal all the good ones from the wranglers. It's much less risky then chasing untamed whirlwinds.
6. >>IMPORTANT<< SuperJer sucks.
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2005 Apr 5 at 15:25 PDT
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The tornado heisters are more of a logistic solution than anything. Union tornado wranglers won't work in swamps, marshes, glacial lakes, peat bogs, wetlands or subtropical lagoons.
In other news, the new Mk. IV socking 'maces' are now available in most pole socking equipment stores, tornado chasing outfitters, medieval gift shops, and pole socking-storm chasing paraphanalea dealers. Personally, I prefer a mace to a mallet, as the added flexibility it provides more than makes up for it's limited range. I may have a full review of this exciting new product shortly.
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2005 Apr 24 at 04:37 PDT
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aaronjer
*****'n Admin
2005 Mar 21 • 4940
1,227 ₧
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I can say I have made many succesive and powerful socks with the Mk. III socking mace. However, there is a severe limit on leverage with those really "hard to sock" poles. I prefer mallets to maces on any conventional field. The only place I think I've done better with a mace is the space station arena on the socking satellite. Even the moonbase provided ample room for swinging a mallet with a high caliber of length. Although, for blocking rockets, lazers, tripmines and rocketlazers the mace is definetly superior.
I will try out this new Mk. IV and tell you what I do.
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2005 Apr 24 at 04:44 PDT
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