yo mama i just wanted to post this

yo mama i just wanted to post this

General — Page [1]
the_cloud_system
polly pushy pants

2008 Aug 1 • 3080
-6 ₧
Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up

Yo mama so fat her nickname is "Lardo"

Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.

Yo mama so fat were in her right now

Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise

Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone

Yo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors

Yo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her...

Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world

Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy

Yo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!

Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!

Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"

Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"

Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized

Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway

Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller

Yo mama so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets

Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th

Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too

Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"

Yo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!

Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"

Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.

Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.

Yo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!

Yo mama so fat she's got her own area code!

Yo mama so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!

Yo mama so fat God couldn't light Earth until she moved!

Yo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!

Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!

Yo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...

Yo mama so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.

Yo mama so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!

Yo mama so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!

Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side!

Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!

Yo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!

Yo mama so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose.

Yo mama so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!

Yo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!

Yo mama so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell!

Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!

Yo mama so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!

Yo mama so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!

Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!

Yo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!

Yo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

Yo mama so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!

Yo mama so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!

Yo mama so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!

Yo mama so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!

Yo mama so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!

Yo mama so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights!

Yo mama so fat she got hit by a parked car!

Yo mama so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!

Yo mama so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!

Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat people say "Taxi!"

Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway!

Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller!

Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th

Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too

Yo mama so fat she steps on a scale & it goes one at a time please

Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it!

Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck!

Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.

Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

Yo mama so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping

Yo mama so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.

Yo mama so fat when she back up she beep.

Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

Yo mama so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.

Yo mama so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.

Yo mama so fat she influences the tides.

Yo mama so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.

Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy fell out.

Yo mama so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.

Yo mama so fat she was baptized at Marine World.

Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!

Yo mama so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.

Yo mama so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her

Yo mama so fat she stands in two time zones.

Yo mama so fat I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas.

Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.

Yo mama so fat shes on both sides of the family

Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through

Yo mama so fat when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

Yo mama so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.

Yo mama so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.

Yo mama so fat she cant reach her back pocket.

Yo mama so fat when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her back!

Yo mama so fat her college graduation picture was an airial.

Yo mama so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water

Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy poured out

Yo mama so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth

Yo mama so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures

Yo mama so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck.

Yo mama so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.

Yo mama so fat she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washington's nose.

Yo mama so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.

Yo mama so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.

Yo mama so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.....

Yo mama so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse.

Yo mama so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.

Yo mama so fat she was baptised in the ocean.

Yo mama so fat she has to iron her clothes in the driveway.

Yo mama so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.

Yo mama so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"

Yo mama so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!

Yo mama so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.

Yo mama so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.



ya she is

EDIT: I saw your mama kicking a can down the street. I asked her what she was doing, and she said "Moving."
I drink to forget but I always remember.
 
 
 
2009 Feb 18 at 21:42 PST — Ed. 2009 Feb 18 at 21:47 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4940
1,227 ₧
Your mama so fat that she has serious health issues and will probably die before her next birthday.
 
 
 
2009 Feb 19 at 01:18 PST
KnightOfH3ll

2009 Jan 16 • 152
12 ₧
Good for stand up comedians. i was too bored to read all of it.
 
 
 
2009 Feb 19 at 01:50 PST
eDan Co.
Mighty Typist

Real Live Hands-On Rabbi Medal
Consolation Medal
2007 Sep 24 • 2921
252 ₧
That sucked! I read only a few random ones and they were NOT FUNNY. Also, there are quite a few joke that your wrote several time, which leads me to believe that even you didn't read the whole thing.


I liked Aaronjer's... Oh so very real.
May contain traces of invisible text.
 
 
 
2009 Feb 19 at 08:16 PST
NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse

Good Conduct Medal
2005 Mar 22 • 1871
574 ₧
Yo mama's so fat, she broke her leg and hot bloody fat sprayed everywhere! Some even got on the mayor! That's not original. I'm sorry to have let you all down
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
 
 
 
2009 Feb 19 at 10:23 PST — Ed. 2009 Feb 19 at 10:24 PST
molkman
Owner of George Washington's Prototype Mittens

Marine Warfare Corporal
Find the Hole Participation Medal
Find the Hole II Participation Medal
Tasty Br�twurst Medal
2005 May 2 • 2066
404 ₧
I'm glad we haven't had like a million yomama-trucks yet...
LET LOVE REIGN
 
 
 
2009 Feb 19 at 10:57 PST
Mate de Vita
Kelli

2008 Oct 4 • 2453
159 ₧
molkman said:
I'm glad we haven't had like a million yomama-trucks yet...

Search finds none...
...and that's the bottom line because Mate de Vita said so.
 
 
 
2009 Feb 19 at 13:51 PST — Ed. 2009 Feb 19 at 13:52 PST
molkman
Owner of George Washington's Prototype Mittens

Marine Warfare Corporal
Find the Hole Participation Medal
Find the Hole II Participation Medal
Tasty Br�twurst Medal
2005 May 2 • 2066
404 ₧
Sadly I must reveal my irony here to tell that there in fact have been millions before. I am an eye witness.
LET LOVE REIGN
 
 
 
2009 Feb 19 at 15:17 PST
SolidKAYOS
Count Adelaide

Roar Of The Tigress Medal
2007 Jun 24 • 84
68 ₧
I read them all and some made me chuckle. Though over half of them i already heard.
Make awkward sexual advances, not war.
Down Rodeo said:
Dammit, this was the one place that didn't have this, but noooooo, molkman pisses all over that
 
 
 
2009 Feb 19 at 15:20 PST
the_cloud_system
polly pushy pants

2008 Aug 1 • 3080
-6 ₧
Havokk Edge said:
I read them all and some made me chuckle. Though over half of them i already heard.


ya my frends thought of more when i read it to them
I drink to forget but I always remember.
 
 
 
2009 Feb 19 at 17:20 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6629
Yo momma's so fat, when she wants a snack she runs down the street with her mouth open collecting birds and leaves.

Yo momma's so fat, her tapeworm has a tapeworm.

Yo momma's so fat, she fell over at a concert last year and is still picking people out of her folds.

Yo momma's so fat that no yomomma joke can possibly shed light on the issue.
 
 
 
2009 Feb 19 at 18:00 PST
the_cloud_system
polly pushy pants

2008 Aug 1 • 3080
-6 ₧
what has 180 feet and onley 15 teath



the front row of a garth brooks concert


I drink to forget but I always remember.
 
 
 
2009 Feb 19 at 18:16 PST
Down Rodeo
Cap'n Moth of the Firehouse

Find the Hole II Participation Medal
2007 Oct 19 • 5486
57,583 ₧
superjer said:
Yo momma's so fat that no yomomma joke can possibly shed light on the issue.

You, sir, are a genius!
 
 
 
2009 Feb 20 at 01:35 PST
eDan Co.
Mighty Typist

Real Live Hands-On Rabbi Medal
Consolation Medal
2007 Sep 24 • 2921
252 ₧
Down Rodeo said:
superjer said:
Yo momma's so fat that no yomomma joke can possibly shed light on the issue.

You, sir, are a genius!


You beat me to it, Rodeo.
May contain traces of invisible text.
 
 
 
2009 Feb 20 at 03:41 PST
FallingShit
"title" fuck shit stack"?"

2008 Jul 10 • 226
Yo momma is so fat it took me 1 airplanem, 2 trains, and three busses to get on her good side.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist mother fucker.

Yo momma is like a race car she burns four rubbers an hour.

Yo momma is so hairy they filmed gorillas in the mist in her shower.

:::(This one is horrid and i didn't make it luckily)::: Whats the best thing about twenty-eight year olds? There is twenty of them.


Thats bascially all the jokes that i could think of at the moment...
de shit heeft getroffen de ventilator
 
 
 
2009 Feb 20 at 07:03 PST
sprinkles

Chrome Whore
2009 Sep 6 • 2547
10 ₧
FallingShit said:
Yo momma is so fat it took me 1 airplanem, 2 trains, and three busses to get on her good side.


I liked that one.

Black Jokes?

Four black men in a Caddie drive off a cliff what is the tragedy?

Caddie fits 5.

What do black people and apples have in common?

(Warning this one is really bad)





They both look good hanging from a tree.

Mexican Jokes?

How do you find the population of Meh-he-co?

Roll a quarter down the street.

How do you kill 1,000 Meh-he-cans?

Roll a quarter off a cliff.

White Jokes?

White people are so stupid no
superjer said:
joke can possibly shed light on the issue.
 
 
 
2010 Feb 25 at 12:46 PST — Ed. 2010 Feb 25 at 12:47 PST
the_cloud_system
polly pushy pants

2008 Aug 1 • 3080
-6 ₧
I drink to forget but I always remember.
 
 
 
2010 Feb 25 at 15:08 PST
Rockbomb
Dog fucker (but in a good way now)

2009 Nov 13 • 2045
We should turn this into a general jokes thread...

So this little girl walks up to her mom and asks "Mommy, how come I'm black and your white?" and the mother replies "Hunny, it was a wild night. Just be thankful you don't bark."
 
 
 
2010 Feb 25 at 16:18 PST
sprinkles

Chrome Whore
2009 Sep 6 • 2547
10 ₧
So a black kid and his mother are cooking, when the kid throws flour on his face and says "Look mamma I'mma white kid." The mother slaps him and says go tell your father that. He goes and tells his father, his father smacks him and says go tell your grandma that. So he goes to his grandmother and says "Look gran'ma i'mma white boy." His grandmother slaps him, then says go tell your mother that. After returning to the kitchen his mother asks "Well have you learned anything?" The boy responds "Yeah, I've been white for 20 minutes and I am already learning to hate black people."


What is long black and smelly?

The unemployment line.
 
 
 
2010 Feb 25 at 17:14 PST
xXJigsaw23Xx
IS what she said.

THISISAMEDAL
2007 Oct 21 • 912
41 ₧
how many Jews can u fit in a volkswagon

2 in the back and 150 in the ashtray
But even then, I had my honor. The largest Banora White tree grew on a wealthy man's estate. It was rumored, that those apples tasted the best, but I never stole from that tree, because the wealthy man's son, was my friend...
 
 
 
2010 Feb 25 at 19:17 PST
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