Write the story: A forum game

Write the story: A forum game

General — Page [1] 2
CornJer
Metal does cocaine.

Frontline Heroism Medal
2005 Mar 21 • 1531
36 ₧
There haven't been much forum games around here, so I'm going to go ahead and start one.


Ok, here we go!
Rules
1. You write 3 sentences in the next post, continuing the story.
2. It must be somewhat related to the previous 3 sentences.
3. Don't get too stupid. I mean, look what happened to the choose your own adventure forum. (Seriously guys... )
4. The sentences must be in CODE tags.

I think thats it. I'll go ahead and be ref on this (I have final say on if something is too stupid or out of context). I'll settle disputes if any arise.

Also, if you want to ask questions or what not, you can just write outside the CODE tags and I'll be happy to answer.

I'll start:

Jeffery Davis was walking down the street one day, enjoying the crumbling city around him. It was a beautyful day, and all was quiet, especially since The Disaster. As he walked down the street, something breifly caught his eye at the edge of an alley, before it vanished.
If you jump high enough you'll hurt your ankles when you land.
 
 
 
2008 Feb 1 at 10:39 PST — Ed. 2008 Feb 1 at 10:39 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6629
Jeffery Davis was walking down the street one day, enjoying the crumbling city around him. It was a beautiful day, and all was quiet, especially since The Disaster. As he walked down the street, something briefly caught his eye at the edge of an alley, before it vanished. It was the only moving thing he'd seen in weeks. After freezing for just a second he bolted after it. Could it be what he thought?

Edit: OH! Three SENTENCES! :o
 
 
 
2008 Feb 1 at 11:34 PST — Ed. 2008 Feb 1 at 14:07 PST
Down Rodeo
Cap'n Moth of the Firehouse

Find the Hole II Participation Medal
2007 Oct 19 • 5486
57,583 ₧
Jeffery Davis was walking down the street one day, enjoying the crumbling city around him. It was a beautiful day, and all was quiet, especially since The Disaster. As he walked down the street, something briefly caught his eye at the edge of an alley, before it vanished. It was the only moving thing he'd seen in weeks. After freezing for just a second he bolted after it. Could it be what he thought? He ducked round the corner. "Dammit, another FUCKING cat!" He swore out load at another day ruined by yet another dashed hope.

I presume that the mighty CornJer reserves the right to blam crap? Cause if that's not the way you saw it going at all feel free to ignore my addition and continue as though it never happened. I'm terribly insecure. :D

EDIT: I was going to keep SJ's yellowtext but then it don't really work with my colour.
 
 
 
2008 Feb 1 at 14:23 PST — Ed. 2008 Feb 1 at 14:24 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6629
I was just doing like the old 3-word game where the new text is a different color so it stands out.
 
 
 
2008 Feb 1 at 14:46 PST
Down Rodeo
Cap'n Moth of the Firehouse

Find the Hole II Participation Medal
2007 Oct 19 • 5486
57,583 ₧
Fair enough, I thought I'd be smart and try to preserve it over many posts so you could see who-wrote-what, to an extent.
 
 
 
2008 Feb 1 at 15:13 PST
CornJer
Metal does cocaine.

Frontline Heroism Medal
2005 Mar 21 • 1531
36 ₧
Down, yours is completely fine. A little contradictory to what superjer wrote, but almost trivial. Lets all try to use consistent colors though. MY TURN.

Jeffery Davis was walking down the street one day, enjoying the crumbling city around him. It was a beautiful day, and all was quiet, especially since The Disaster. As he walked down the street, something briefly caught his eye at the edge of an alley, before it vanished. It was the only moving thing he'd seen in weeks. After freezing for just a second he bolted after it. Could it be what he thought? He ducked round the corner. "Dammit, another FUCKING cat!" He swore out load at another day ruined by yet another dashed hope. He stood there, stunned and demoralized for a minuite, before continuing to trudge on. However, after walking for another half hour, he did find himself some frozen steak, a bag of Doritos, and some stale bread at an old resturant. "Enough to keep me going" Jeff said aloud with a smile.


Edit: Changed colors.
If you jump high enough you'll hurt your ankles when you land.
 
 
 
2008 Feb 1 at 16:46 PST — Ed. 2008 Feb 1 at 16:46 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4940
1,227 ₧
Jeffery Davis was walking down the street one day, enjoying the crumbling city around him. It was a beautiful day, and all was quiet, especially since The Disaster. As he walked down the street, something briefly caught his eye at the edge of an alley, before it vanished. It was the only moving thing he'd seen in weeks. After freezing for just a second he bolted after it. Could it be what he thought? He ducked round the corner.

"Dammit, another FUCKING cat!" He swore out load at another day ruined by yet another dashed hope.

He stood there, stunned and demoralized for a minuite, before continuing to trudge on. However, after walking for another half hour, he did find himself some frozen steak, a bag of Doritos, and some stale bread at an old resturant.

"Enough to keep me going" Jeff said aloud with a smile.

Upon further inspection he discovered that the bag of doritos had already been opened, the chips removed, and refilled with hundred dollar bills. Ol' Jeffy's heart rose and sank, first the brief pang of excitement upon finding money, and then the realization that it no longer held any value. As he uncomfortably gnawed on the thawing steak he heard a catastrophically loud explosion far away towards the maroon setting sun.


I don't care what you people say, I prefer things to be formatted.
 
 
 
2008 Feb 1 at 16:56 PST — Ed. 2008 Feb 1 at 16:58 PST
Down Rodeo
Cap'n Moth of the Firehouse

Find the Hole II Participation Medal
2007 Oct 19 • 5486
57,583 ₧
Jeffery Davis was walking down the street one day, enjoying the crumbling city around him. It was a beautiful day, and all was quiet, especially since The Disaster. As he walked down the street, something briefly caught his eye at the edge of an alley, before it vanished. It was the only moving thing he'd seen in weeks. After freezing for just a second he bolted after it. Could it be what he thought? He ducked round the corner.

"Dammit, another FUCKING cat!" He swore out loud at another day ruined by yet another dashed hope.


He stood there, stunned and demoralized for a minuite, before continuing to trudge on. However, after walking for another half hour, he did find himself some frozen steak, a bag of Doritos, and some stale bread at an old resturant.

"Enough to keep me going" Jeff said aloud with a smile.

Upon further inspection he discovered that the bag of doritos had already been opened, the chips removed, and refilled with hundred dollar bills. Ol' Jeffy's heart rose and sank, first the brief pang of excitement upon finding money, and then the realization that it no longer held any value. As he uncomfortably gnawed on the thawing steak he heard a catastrophically loud explosion far away towards the maroon setting sun.

Another one. They'd been getting more frequent of late. Warming the steak in his hands, he began the slow trek back to his latest 'home'.


Good formatting Aaron? :) EDIT: I was reusing words, which is bad and evil. So it's now 'trek'.
Edit the second: fixed one of my bad spelling mistakes. I hope my wee bit hasn't killed it though...
 
 
 
2008 Feb 1 at 17:10 PST — Ed. 2008 Feb 1 at 17:55 PST
SolidKAYOS
Count Adelaide

Roar Of The Tigress Medal
2007 Jun 24 • 84
68 ₧
I would join but.the next lines would take him somewhere els instead of 'home'

and slow trek is a disease thank you...
Make awkward sexual advances, not war.
Down Rodeo said:
Dammit, this was the one place that didn't have this, but noooooo, molkman pisses all over that
 
 
 
2008 Feb 2 at 15:42 PST — Ed. 2008 Feb 2 at 15:43 PST
Down Rodeo
Cap'n Moth of the Firehouse

Find the Hole II Participation Medal
2007 Oct 19 • 5486
57,583 ₧
Well I think the idea is that whoever writes the next bit takes the story where that person wants... Like I said that he was heading home, but I have no idea what he'd do once there. Therefore if you fancy him taking a detour on the way back and can do it three sentences, go for it!

Also, disease? Whaa?
 
 
 
2008 Feb 2 at 16:54 PST
SolidKAYOS
Count Adelaide

Roar Of The Tigress Medal
2007 Jun 24 • 84
68 ₧

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/08/health/research/08slee.html?partner=rssnyt&emc=rss


Jeffery Davis was walking down the street one day, enjoying the crumbling city around him. It was a beautiful day, and all was quiet, especially since The Disaster. As he walked down the street, something briefly caught his eye at the edge of an alley, before it vanished. It was the only moving thing he'd seen in weeks. After freezing for just a second he bolted after it. Could it be what he thought? He ducked round the corner.

"Dammit, another FUCKING cat!" He swore out loud at another day ruined by yet another dashed hope.


He stood there, stunned and demoralized for a minuite, before continuing to trudge on. However, after walking for another half hour, he did find himself some frozen steak, a bag of Doritos, and some stale bread at an old resturant.

"Enough to keep me going" Jeff said aloud with a smile.

Upon further inspection he discovered that the bag of doritos had already been opened, the chips removed, and refilled with hundred dollar bills. Ol' Jeffy's heart rose and sank, first the brief pang of excitement upon finding money, and then the realization that it no longer held any value. As he uncomfortably gnawed on the thawing steak he heard a catastrophically loud explosion far away towards the maroon setting sun.

Another one. They'd been getting more frequent of late. Warming the steak in his hands, he began the slow trek back to his latest 'home'.



He found himself at his home and came to realize, the last explosion was his home.He gnawed at the site of the blaze of his home an saw a shadow like small figure run from the back.He sat his steak down beside a flame and burnt the Doritos bag, but kept the money and ran after it.
Make awkward sexual advances, not war.
Down Rodeo said:
Dammit, this was the one place that didn't have this, but noooooo, molkman pisses all over that
 
 
 
2008 Feb 2 at 17:25 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4940
1,227 ₧
We use spaces after our periods in this here language.

Jeffery Davis was walking down the street one day, enjoying the crumbling city around him. It was a beautiful day, and all was quiet, especially since The Disaster. As he walked down the street, something briefly caught his eye at the edge of an alley, before it vanished. It was the only moving thing he'd seen in weeks. After freezing for just a second he bolted after it. Could it be what he thought? He ducked round the corner.

"Dammit, another FUCKING cat!" He swore out loud at another day ruined by yet another dashed hope.


He stood there, stunned and demoralized for a minuite, before continuing to trudge on. However, after walking for another half hour, he did find himself some frozen steak, a bag of Doritos, and some stale bread at an old resturant.

"Enough to keep me going" Jeff said aloud with a smile.

Upon further inspection he discovered that the bag of doritos had already been opened, the chips removed, and refilled with hundred dollar bills. Ol' Jeffy's heart rose and sank, first the brief pang of excitement upon finding money, and then the realization that it no longer held any value. As he uncomfortably gnawed on the thawing steak he heard a catastrophically loud explosion far away towards the maroon setting sun.

Another one. They'd been getting more frequent of late. Warming the steak in his hands, he began the slow trek back to his latest 'home'.


He found himself at his home and came to realize, the last explosion was his home. He gnawed at the site of the blaze of his home an saw a shadow like small figure run from the back. He sat his steak down beside a flame and burnt the Doritos bag, but kept the money and ran after it.

Through the smoke and burning embers of what was once his home, Jeff carelessly stumbled towards the figure that seemed to be eluding him. Jeff was positive his quarry would escape, as he barely had sight of him, but a crash and a painful scream made it obvious he was going to confront the one who destroyed his beloved hovel. And as he came upon his prey he could see a face that was all too familiar...


 
 
 
2008 Feb 4 at 00:45 PST — Ed. 2008 Feb 4 at 00:59 PST
Mr. Ribbon
Malicious Outsider
2006 Sep 25 • 20
16 ₧
aaronjer made me do it. I was hoping i'd never see any of you jacktards ever again.

Jeffery Davis was walking down the street one day, enjoying the crumbling city around him. It was a beautiful day, and all was quiet, especially since The Disaster. As he walked down the street, something briefly caught his eye at the edge of an alley, before it vanished. It was the only moving thing he'd seen in weeks. After freezing for just a second he bolted after it. Could it be what he thought? He ducked round the corner.

"Dammit, another FUCKING cat!" He swore out loud at another day ruined by yet another dashed hope.


He stood there, stunned and demoralized for a minuite, before continuing to trudge on. However, after walking for another half hour, he did find himself some frozen steak, a bag of Doritos, and some stale bread at an old resturant.

"Enough to keep me going" Jeff said aloud with a smile.

Upon further inspection he discovered that the bag of doritos had already been opened, the chips removed, and refilled with hundred dollar bills. Ol' Jeffy's heart rose and sank, first the brief pang of excitement upon finding money, and then the realization that it no longer held any value. As he uncomfortably gnawed on the thawing steak he heard a catastrophically loud explosion far away towards the maroon setting sun.

Another one. They'd been getting more frequent of late. Warming the steak in his hands, he began the slow trek back to his latest 'home'.


He found himself at his home and came to realize, the last explosion was his home. He gnawed at the site of the blaze of his home an saw a shadow like small figure run from the back. He sat his steak down beside a flame and burnt the Doritos bag, but kept the money and ran after it.

Through the smoke and burning embers of what was once his home, Jeff carelessly stumbled towards the figure that seemed to be eluding him. Jeff was positive his quarry would escape, as he barely had sight of him, but a crash and a painful scream made it obvious he was going to confront the one who destroyed his beloved hovel. And as he came upon his prey he could see a face that was all too familiar.

It was Linus Torvalds. Jeffrey was astonished, he was sure nobody could have survived that fall so many years ago. But here was his arch-nemesis in the flesh, kneeling over in pain and clutching his raw, tender leg-wounds.


Bebop and scat or I'll skin you like a bear!
 
 
 
2008 Feb 4 at 00:50 PST — Ed. 2008 Feb 4 at 00:58 PST
SolidKAYOS
Count Adelaide

Roar Of The Tigress Medal
2007 Jun 24 • 84
68 ₧

Jeffery Davis was walking down the street one day, enjoying the crumbling city around him. It was a beautiful day, and all was quiet, especially since The Disaster. As he walked down the street, something briefly caught his eye at the edge of an alley, before it vanished. It was the only moving thing he'd seen in weeks. After freezing for just a second he bolted after it. Could it be what he thought? He ducked round the corner.

"Dammit, another FUCKING cat!" He swore out loud at another day ruined by yet another dashed hope.


He stood there, stunned and demoralized for a minuite, before continuing to trudge on. However, after walking for another half hour, he did find himself some frozen steak, a bag of Doritos, and some stale bread at an old resturant.

"Enough to keep me going" Jeff said aloud with a smile.

Upon further inspection he discovered that the bag of doritos had already been opened, the chips removed, and refilled with hundred dollar bills. Ol' Jeffy's heart rose and sank, first the brief pang of excitement upon finding money, and then the realization that it no longer held any value. As he uncomfortably gnawed on the thawing steak he heard a catastrophically loud explosion far away towards the maroon setting sun.

Another one. They'd been getting more frequent of late. Warming the steak in his hands, he began the slow trek back to his latest 'home'.


He found himself at his home and came to realize, the last explosion was his home. He gnawed at the site of the blaze of his home an saw a shadow like small figure run from the back. He sat his steak down beside a flame and burnt the Doritos bag, but kept the money and ran after it.

Through the smoke and burning embers of what was once his home, Jeff carelessly stumbled towards the figure that seemed to be eluding him. Jeff was positive his quarry would escape, as he barely had sight of him, but a crash and a painful scream made it obvious he was going to confront the one who destroyed his beloved hovel. And as he came upon his prey he could see a face that was all too familiar.

It was Linus Torvalds. Jeffrey was astonished, he was sure nobody could have survived that fall so many years ago. But here was his arch-nemesis in the flesh, kneeling over in pain and clutching his raw, tender leg-wounds.



Jeff and Linus Looked into each others eyes for a moment..Jeff looked closely at Linus' mouth and saw that it as orange.Jeff went up to him an grabbed the collar of his shirt in anger and said, "FIRST MY HOME AND NOW MY DORIOTOS?I should kill you right now you bastard!'As Jeff pulled back his fist with all his anger Linus looked at him with a sad face, and said," but Jeffrey..I am..Your Father"
Make awkward sexual advances, not war.
Down Rodeo said:
Dammit, this was the one place that didn't have this, but noooooo, molkman pisses all over that
 
 
 
2008 Feb 4 at 18:32 PST
CornJer
Metal does cocaine.

Frontline Heroism Medal
2005 Mar 21 • 1531
36 ₧
Not gonna lie; this is getting a little out there...but I can fix that...

Jeffery Davis was walking down the street one day, enjoying the crumbling city around him. It was a beautiful day, and all was quiet, especially since The Disaster. As he walked down the street, something briefly caught his eye at the edge of an alley, before it vanished. It was the only moving thing he'd seen in weeks. After freezing for just a second he bolted after it. Could it be what he thought? He ducked round the corner.

"Dammit, another FUCKING cat!" He swore out loud at another day ruined by yet another dashed hope.


He stood there, stunned and demoralized for a minuite, before continuing to trudge on. However, after walking for another half hour, he did find himself some frozen steak, a bag of Doritos, and some stale bread at an old resturant.

"Enough to keep me going" Jeff said aloud with a smile.

Upon further inspection he discovered that the bag of doritos had already been opened, the chips removed, and refilled with hundred dollar bills. Ol' Jeffy's heart rose and sank, first the brief pang of excitement upon finding money, and then the realization that it no longer held any value. As he uncomfortably gnawed on the thawing steak he heard a catastrophically loud explosion far away towards the maroon setting sun.

Another one. They'd been getting more frequent of late. Warming the steak in his hands, he began the slow trek back to his latest 'home'.


He found himself at his home and came to realize, the last explosion was his home. He gnawed at the site of the blaze of his home an saw a shadow like small figure run from the back. He sat his steak down beside a flame and burnt the Doritos bag, but kept the money and ran after it.

Through the smoke and burning embers of what was once his home, Jeff carelessly stumbled towards the figure that seemed to be eluding him. Jeff was positive his quarry would escape, as he barely had sight of him, but a crash and a painful scream made it obvious he was going to confront the one who destroyed his beloved hovel. And as he came upon his prey he could see a face that was all too familiar.

It was Linus Torvalds. Jeffrey was astonished, he was sure nobody could have survived that fall so many years ago. But here was his arch-nemesis in the flesh, kneeling over in pain and clutching his raw, tender leg-wounds.



Jeff and Linus Looked into each others eyes for a moment..Jeff looked closely at Linus' mouth and saw that it as orange.Jeff went up to him an grabbed the collar of his shirt in anger and said, "FIRST MY HOME AND NOW MY DORIOTOS?I should kill you right now you bastard!'As Jeff pulled back his fist with all his anger Linus looked at him with a sad face, and said," but Jeffrey..I am..Your Father"

"What?" Jeff said; but at that very moment, Linus's face turned into that of Darth Vader. Then he woke up, bumping his head on the roof of the gondola he was laying in. "Shit", he said, looking from the water at the Hong Kong Skyline.

If you jump high enough you'll hurt your ankles when you land.
 
 
 
2008 Feb 6 at 17:39 PST — Ed. 2008 Feb 6 at 17:39 PST
Down Rodeo
Cap'n Moth of the Firehouse

Find the Hole II Participation Medal
2007 Oct 19 • 5486
57,583 ₧
Nice save ;)

Jeffery Davis was walking down the street one day, enjoying the crumbling city around him. It was a beautiful day, and all was quiet, especially since The Disaster. As he walked down the street, something briefly caught his eye at the edge of an alley, before it vanished. It was the only moving thing he'd seen in weeks. After freezing for just a second he bolted after it. Could it be what he thought? He ducked round the corner.

"Dammit, another FUCKING cat!" He swore out loud at another day ruined by yet another dashed hope.


He stood there, stunned and demoralized for a minuite, before continuing to trudge on. However, after walking for another half hour, he did find himself some frozen steak, a bag of Doritos, and some stale bread at an old resturant.

"Enough to keep me going" Jeff said aloud with a smile.

Upon further inspection he discovered that the bag of doritos had already been opened, the chips removed, and refilled with hundred dollar bills. Ol' Jeffy's heart rose and sank, first the brief pang of excitement upon finding money, and then the realization that it no longer held any value. As he uncomfortably gnawed on the thawing steak he heard a catastrophically loud explosion far away towards the maroon setting sun.

Another one. They'd been getting more frequent of late. Warming the steak in his hands, he began the slow trek back to his latest 'home'.


He found himself at his home and came to realize, the last explosion was his home. He gnawed at the site of the blaze of his home an saw a shadow like small figure run from the back. He sat his steak down beside a flame and burnt the Doritos bag, but kept the money and ran after it.

Through the smoke and burning embers of what was once his home, Jeff carelessly stumbled towards the figure that seemed to be eluding him. Jeff was positive his quarry would escape, as he barely had sight of him, but a crash and a painful scream made it obvious he was going to confront the one who destroyed his beloved hovel. And as he came upon his prey he could see a face that was all too familiar.

It was Linus Torvalds. Jeffrey was astonished, he was sure nobody could have survived that fall so many years ago. But here was his arch-nemesis in the flesh, kneeling over in pain and clutching his raw, tender leg-wounds.



Jeff and Linus Looked into each others eyes for a moment..Jeff looked closely at Linus' mouth and saw that it as orange.Jeff went up to him an grabbed the collar of his shirt in anger and said, "FIRST MY HOME AND NOW MY DORIOTOS?I should kill you right now you bastard!'As Jeff pulled back his fist with all his anger Linus looked at him with a sad face, and said," but Jeffrey..I am..Your Father"

"What?" Jeff said; but at that very moment, Linus's face turned into that of Darth Vader. Then he woke up, bumping his head on the roof of the gondola he was laying in. "Shit", he said, looking from the water at the Hong Kong Skyline.

Hou was very confused. Who had he been- Jeff? He was going to have to lay off that cheap imported whisky; it always made him have those disturbing dreams.


I added the whisky thing as I know a man whose job is to travel around the world (to some really random places) and sell lots of whisky to businessmen. He works for Bell's and has been to HK I believe.
 
 
 
2008 Feb 6 at 18:20 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4940
1,227 ₧
Waking up and being someone else? That's a little too topic changey.

Jeffery Davis was walking down the street one day, enjoying the crumbling city around him. It was a beautiful day, and all was quiet, especially since The Disaster. As he walked down the street, something briefly caught his eye at the edge of an alley, before it vanished. It was the only moving thing he'd seen in weeks. After freezing for just a second he bolted after it. Could it be what he thought? He ducked round the corner.

"Dammit, another FUCKING cat!" He swore out loud at another day ruined by yet another dashed hope.


He stood there, stunned and demoralized for a minuite, before continuing to trudge on. However, after walking for another half hour, he did find himself some frozen steak, a bag of Doritos, and some stale bread at an old resturant.

"Enough to keep me going" Jeff said aloud with a smile.

Upon further inspection he discovered that the bag of doritos had already been opened, the chips removed, and refilled with hundred dollar bills. Ol' Jeffy's heart rose and sank, first the brief pang of excitement upon finding money, and then the realization that it no longer held any value. As he uncomfortably gnawed on the thawing steak he heard a catastrophically loud explosion far away towards the maroon setting sun.

Another one. They'd been getting more frequent of late. Warming the steak in his hands, he began the slow trek back to his latest 'home'.


He found himself at his home and came to realize, the last explosion was his home. He gnawed at the site of the blaze of his home an saw a shadow like small figure run from the back. He sat his steak down beside a flame and burnt the Doritos bag, but kept the money and ran after it.

Through the smoke and burning embers of what was once his home, Jeff carelessly stumbled towards the figure that seemed to be eluding him. Jeff was positive his quarry would escape, as he barely had sight of him, but a crash and a painful scream made it obvious he was going to confront the one who destroyed his beloved hovel. And as he came upon his prey he could see a face that was all too familiar.

It was Linus Torvalds. Jeffrey was astonished, he was sure nobody could have survived that fall so many years ago. But here was his arch-nemesis in the flesh, kneeling over in pain and clutching his raw, tender leg-wounds.



Jeff and Linus Looked into each others eyes for a moment..Jeff looked closely at Linus' mouth and saw that it as orange.Jeff went up to him an grabbed the collar of his shirt in anger and said, "FIRST MY HOME AND NOW MY DORIOTOS?I should kill you right now you bastard!'As Jeff pulled back his fist with all his anger Linus looked at him with a sad face, and said," but Jeffrey..I am..Your Father"

"What?" Jeff said; but at that very moment, Linus's face turned into that of Darth Vader. Then he woke up, bumping his head on the roof of the gondola he was laying in. "Shit", he said, looking from the water at the Hong Kong Skyline.

Hou was very confused. Who had he been- Jeff? He was going to have to lay off that cheap imported whisky; it always made him have those disturbing dreams.

He couldn't believe the time. His wife was supposed to be here hours ago and bring take-out. As he rubbed his grumble-belly his phone began to ring with a familiar tone.


 
 
 
2008 Feb 8 at 23:50 PST
Mr. Ribbon
Malicious Outsider
2006 Sep 25 • 20
16 ₧
we need some kind of connexion to the original story.

Jeffery Davis was walking down the street one day, enjoying the crumbling city around him. It was a beautiful day, and all was quiet, especially since The Disaster. As he walked down the street, something briefly caught his eye at the edge of an alley, before it vanished. It was the only moving thing he'd seen in weeks. After freezing for just a second he bolted after it. Could it be what he thought? He ducked round the corner.

"Dammit, another FUCKING cat!" He swore out loud at another day ruined by yet another dashed hope.


He stood there, stunned and demoralized for a minuite, before continuing to trudge on. However, after walking for another half hour, he did find himself some frozen steak, a bag of Doritos, and some stale bread at an old resturant.

"Enough to keep me going" Jeff said aloud with a smile.

Upon further inspection he discovered that the bag of doritos had already been opened, the chips removed, and refilled with hundred dollar bills. Ol' Jeffy's heart rose and sank, first the brief pang of excitement upon finding money, and then the realization that it no longer held any value. As he uncomfortably gnawed on the thawing steak he heard a catastrophically loud explosion far away towards the maroon setting sun.

Another one. They'd been getting more frequent of late. Warming the steak in his hands, he began the slow trek back to his latest 'home'.


He found himself at his home and came to realize, the last explosion was his home. He gnawed at the site of the blaze of his home an saw a shadow like small figure run from the back. He sat his steak down beside a flame and burnt the Doritos bag, but kept the money and ran after it.

Through the smoke and burning embers of what was once his home, Jeff carelessly stumbled towards the figure that seemed to be eluding him. Jeff was positive his quarry would escape, as he barely had sight of him, but a crash and a painful scream made it obvious he was going to confront the one who destroyed his beloved hovel. And as he came upon his prey he could see a face that was all too familiar.

It was Linus Torvalds. Jeffrey was astonished, he was sure nobody could have survived that fall so many years ago. But here was his arch-nemesis in the flesh, kneeling over in pain and clutching his raw, tender leg-wounds.

Jeff and Linus Looked into each others eyes for a moment..Jeff looked closely at Linus' mouth and saw that it as orange.Jeff went up to him an grabbed the collar of his shirt in anger and said, "FIRST MY HOME AND NOW MY DORIOTOS?I should kill you right now you bastard!'As Jeff pulled back his fist with all his anger Linus looked at him with a sad face, and said," but Jeffrey..I am..Your Father"

"What?" Jeff said; but at that very moment, Linus's face turned into that of Darth Vader. Then he woke up, bumping his head on the roof of the gondola he was laying in. "Shit", he said, looking from the water at the Hong Kong Skyline.

Hou was very confused. Who had he been- Jeff? He was going to have to lay off that cheap imported whisky; it always made him have those disturbing dreams.

He couldn't believe the time. His wife was supposed to be here hours ago and bring take-out. As he rubbed his grumble-belly his phone began to ring with a familiar tone.

It was Linus Torvalds. Hou was astonished, after the last kernel update had to be cancelled due to his monkey business he was sure Linus wouldn't call him again.

"Hey asshat, tell me what the password to the zip file you sent me is so I can stop talking to you," Linus menaced.
Bebop and scat or I'll skin you like a bear!
 
 
 
2008 Feb 9 at 00:01 PST
CornJer
Metal does cocaine.

Frontline Heroism Medal
2005 Mar 21 • 1531
36 ₧
Hey, that works.
Besides, most dreams take from real events...

Jeffery Davis was walking down the street one day, enjoying the crumbling city around him. It was a beautiful day, and all was quiet, especially since The Disaster. As he walked down the street, something briefly caught his eye at the edge of an alley, before it vanished. It was the only moving thing he'd seen in weeks. After freezing for just a second he bolted after it. Could it be what he thought? He ducked round the corner.

"Dammit, another FUCKING cat!" He swore out loud at another day ruined by yet another dashed hope.


He stood there, stunned and demoralized for a minuite, before continuing to trudge on. However, after walking for another half hour, he did find himself some frozen steak, a bag of Doritos, and some stale bread at an old resturant.

"Enough to keep me going" Jeff said aloud with a smile.

Upon further inspection he discovered that the bag of doritos had already been opened, the chips removed, and refilled with hundred dollar bills. Ol' Jeffy's heart rose and sank, first the brief pang of excitement upon finding money, and then the realization that it no longer held any value. As he uncomfortably gnawed on the thawing steak he heard a catastrophically loud explosion far away towards the maroon setting sun.

Another one. They'd been getting more frequent of late. Warming the steak in his hands, he began the slow trek back to his latest 'home'.


He found himself at his home and came to realize, the last explosion was his home. He gnawed at the site of the blaze of his home an saw a shadow like small figure run from the back. He sat his steak down beside a flame and burnt the Doritos bag, but kept the money and ran after it.

Through the smoke and burning embers of what was once his home, Jeff carelessly stumbled towards the figure that seemed to be eluding him. Jeff was positive his quarry would escape, as he barely had sight of him, but a crash and a painful scream made it obvious he was going to confront the one who destroyed his beloved hovel. And as he came upon his prey he could see a face that was all too familiar.

It was Linus Torvalds. Jeffrey was astonished, he was sure nobody could have survived that fall so many years ago. But here was his arch-nemesis in the flesh, kneeling over in pain and clutching his raw, tender leg-wounds.

Jeff and Linus Looked into each others eyes for a moment..Jeff looked closely at Linus' mouth and saw that it as orange.Jeff went up to him an grabbed the collar of his shirt in anger and said, "FIRST MY HOME AND NOW MY DORIOTOS?I should kill you right now you bastard!'As Jeff pulled back his fist with all his anger Linus looked at him with a sad face, and said," but Jeffrey..I am..Your Father"

"What?" Jeff said; but at that very moment, Linus's face turned into that of Darth Vader. Then he woke up, bumping his head on the roof of the gondola he was laying in. "Shit", he said, looking from the water at the Hong Kong Skyline.

Hou was very confused. Who had he been- Jeff? He was going to have to lay off that cheap imported whisky; it always made him have those disturbing dreams.

He couldn't believe the time. His wife was supposed to be here hours ago and bring take-out. As he rubbed his grumble-belly his phone began to ring with a familiar tone.

It was Linus Torvalds. Hou was astonished, after the last kernel update had to be cancelled due to his monkey business he was sure Linus wouldn't call him again.

"Hey asshat, tell me what the password to the zip file you sent me is so I can stop talking to you," Linus menaced.


Hou Ling was boggled. He had stopped working with Linus for two months now, and only now he had bothered to call him? A programming major in college, Hou had learned English at the age of 16 to work in his passion: Free Software Development.

If you jump high enough you'll hurt your ankles when you land.
 
 
 
2008 Feb 9 at 12:48 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4940
1,227 ₧
I dunno, other than Havokk's completely idiotic parts, and Ribbon's inability to stop thinking about Linus Torvalds... this one went pretty well! A story about Free Software Development isn't very interesting, but at least it made sense. There could have always been a police raid engineered by Linus on Hou's home, and some kind of daring escape and battle against corruption in the police force.
 
 
 
2008 Jul 22 at 15:26 PDT — Ed. 2008 Jul 22 at 15:27 PDT
eDan Co.
Mighty Typist

Real Live Hands-On Rabbi Medal
Consolation Medal
2007 Sep 24 • 2921
252 ₧
Aaronjer? Are you drunk?........?

Or do you just read random trucks from years ago and then remember there was something you wanted to say?

Maybe a little bit of both...
May contain traces of invisible text.
 
 
 
2008 Jul 22 at 16:42 PDT
Down Rodeo
Cap'n Moth of the Firehouse

Find the Hole II Participation Medal
2007 Oct 19 • 5486
57,583 ₧
 
 
 
2008 Jul 22 at 16:46 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4940
1,227 ₧
Yeah, geez Edan. Keep up.
 
 
 
2008 Jul 22 at 17:14 PDT
SolidKAYOS
Count Adelaide

Roar Of The Tigress Medal
2007 Jun 24 • 84
68 ₧
I thought my part was hilarious.I don't remember putting that down though.
Make awkward sexual advances, not war.
Down Rodeo said:
Dammit, this was the one place that didn't have this, but noooooo, molkman pisses all over that
 
 
 
2008 Jul 22 at 17:43 PDT
CornJer
Metal does cocaine.

Frontline Heroism Medal
2005 Mar 21 • 1531
36 ₧
Someone CAN continue you know...
If you jump high enough you'll hurt your ankles when you land.
 
 
 
2008 Jul 22 at 18:50 PDT
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