plz give me advice on to insult people

aaronjer
*****'n Admin

2005 Mar 21 • 5105
1,227 ₧

Try to find key information on the person you are insulting. Try to casually ask their friends about what's going on with them. Or just listen to your target talk to people. If you pick up something as potent as "their mom died" you can be exceptionally cruel. Like:

"Hey, my mom made me a sandwich with (insert ingredients) today, what kind of stuff does your mom-... oh, wait! You don't HAVE a mom, it's a waste of my time to talk to you."

This works especially well if you don't actually HAVE a sandwich, and they know it, so that they fully understand you only said that to offend them.

Another easy insult factor is religion. Don't just ARGUE about their religion, flat out deny it, and declare that they'd have to be retarded to believe it. This works especially well if you then back up a religion that historically has shown animosity towards theirs at the same time. This doesn't work on many people, because a lot of people either don't really believe in their religion, don't care about their religion, or don't have a religion. Getting into an argument with them about it validates them too much, with religion, keep it something like:

"You go to (insert holy place)? Hahaha!"

Give the impression that you don't even have the time to spit on them because you think they're so stupid. Try to have a condescending smile. Look down on them as much as possible. This infuriates people very, very quickly. This can work in other fields as well, such as conflicting scientific theories or politics. Remember, you don't have to actually BELIEVE what you're saying, you're only doing it to piss them off. Talk to your friends in front of them about how stupid you think they are, but hardly talk to them directly.

Being racist can piss people off very quickly, especially if you do it with subtlety, like inviting EVERYONE at a table to do something except the (insert race) guy. You have to be careful though, flat out using a racial slur can get you in a LOT of trouble. (they might even kill you) You have to keep it toned down to the point where they just feel excluded.

Insulting girls is incredibly easy. The quickest and easiest way is to be chauvinistic. Always talk like they can't do anything right because they're a girl. Strangely, this also causes them to want to date you. The other good way works best as a response. If a girl comes up to you and asks/tells you something, look quizzical for a moment and then tell them:

"I've only ever really looked at your butt before. You're uglier than I expected."

Or something to that effect.

"Back up, fugly!" works better on the girls that are actually unattractive. The first one works better on a girl that's kinda hot.

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2008 May 30 at 10:59 UTC — Ed. 2008 May 30 at 11:09 UTC