Murphy is visiting...
Murphy is visiting his mate Paddy who has a broken leg.
"Me feet are fuckin' freezing mate!" Paddy says, "Could you nip upstairs and get me slippers?"
"No bother," Murphy replies. He runs upstairs and there are Paddy's two stunning 19 year old twin daughters sat on their beds.
"Hello dere girls, your Da' sent me up here to shag ya both."
"Fuck off you liar!". they exclaim in unison.
"I'll prove it," Murphy says. So he shouts down the stairs, "Both of them, Paddy?"
"Of course both of them! What's the use of fuckin' one?"
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How do you keep a bunch of twats in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow.
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Two Irish men were walking through a forest...
Two Irish men were walking through a forest when they saw a sign saying "Tree fellers needed".
One looks at the other and says "Arr, tis a shame Paddy aint wit' us"
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Jesus was preaching to his disciples and said "Come forth and you shall win eternal life."
John came fifth and won a toaster.
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A Irish woman was in bed with her lover when the door was thrown open and there stood her husband.
He glared at her lover and bellowed,
But even then, I had my honor. The largest Banora White tree grew on a wealthy man's estate. It was rumored, that those apples tasted the best, but I never stole from that tree, because the wealthy man's son, was my friend...
