Platanov > I'm back!
Platanov > Gallente : Cistuvaert (CAS) , Bourynes (Caille School) , Duripant (FNA) (mine)<br>Minmatar : Ryddinjorn (PTS) , Hulm (Republic University) , Ammold (RMS)
Vsevolod Petrosyan > Sorry, my computer was all like "ARBITRATION!" and I was all like "I WANT TO LIVE!" and there were some explosions. Think we've all been there
Platanov > Caldari : Todaki (SAK) , Amsen (STI) , Kisogo (SWA)<br>Amarr : Emrayur (RAI) , Sehmy (Hedion University) , Chaven (IAC)
Platanov > Eve just crapped out a minute ago for me.
Vsevolod Petrosyan > Yeah, I started in Chaven
Platanov > Well, everyone in the corp is instructed to proceed
to the nearest starter system and harvest warm bodies for the corp.
Vsevolod Petrosyan > Can I sew their skin into a form flattering dress?
Vsevolod Petrosyan > "The bodies are supposed to stay warm. They can't do that without skin."
Vsevolod Petrosyan > Shit!
Platanov > Well, you can replace their skin.
Platanov > As long as you use the dress to recruit at least two new members it doesn't matter anyway.
Platanov > You know, while I'm in this n00b system, I'm tempted to drop a can so someone will loot it. Then I can shoot them.
Vsevolod Petrosyan > That's a good recruitment policy. It strains out the stragglers
Platanov > Yea.
Platanov > Ok, here goes the recruitment spam. Oh! Btw, we need a station so we can publish a recruitment advert.
Platanov > Uh, an office I mean.
Vsevolod Petrosyan > We have a station filled with prostitutes. That should be our advert.
Vsevolod Petrosyan > What we don't tell them is that they power a mighty machine
Vsevolod Petrosyan > Which may or may not be Commie's mechanized pants
Platanov > I think I got a two-fer!
Vsevolod Petrosyan > Try for a threesome! Er, foursome...
....
Vsevolod Petrosyan > What happened to that blood you promised? I'm highly disappointed
Platanov > They should be on their way.
Vsevolod Petrosyan > I hope that a miscreant space entity devours them along the way
Vsevolod Petrosyan > We'll all be like, "man, why you gotta do a thing?" but it will only answer in frequencies beyond our comprehension
Semyon Gnyevko > You mean frequencies above 20 kHz?
Semyon Gnyevko > Couldn't we just record it with a machine?
Platanov > How'd you find out about the machine!?
Vsevolod Petrosyan > He knows about the machine... it was supposed to be under wraps...
Semyon Gnyevko > Well, you wrapped it in fruit wraps... I just kept eating them until all was revealed.
Vsevolod Petrosyan > I should have never trusted that twelve year old charlatan.
Semyon Gnyevko > And you sealed it with fruit by the foot. It's like you were just ASKING me to open it.
Semyon Gnyevko > With my mouth.
Vsevolod Petrosyan > We thought mummy wraps to keep it cursed, or perhaps shrink wraps to keep it small and manageable, but no, he had a surplus of fruit wraps. A good deal he said! A good deal of gut turning I assumed
Vsevolod Petrosyan > Clearly, we have underestimated his stomach. To prevent future mistakes, we must study it as an alternative fuel source.
Semyon Gnyevko > Okay, seriously. Are you running some kind of funny boosting algorithm? You HAD me in stitches, but now all the stitches have come undone and I'm spilling hilarious innards all over.
Vsevolod Petrosyan > I don't know. I'm kind of stressed and that causes me to crack out a bit.
This is most of what we do in EVE.
100% natural, no antibiotics, and
bloodgrass-fed
