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Posts written by Mr. Ribbon:
Truck
User
isnt it hard to expand and collect more resources when you consolidate so much effort into the defense of a single town? and do you ever actually attack? 
Truck
User
fantastic. An all-male forum casually shooting the breeze about mamories. no one has ever visited the possibility of a situation like this even at the highest peaks of imagination.
Way to go.
Way to go.
User
I put a motor on his office chair that causes it to rotate
he has not noticed yet
he has not noticed yet
Truck
User
You said that "Mr. Unappreciative" had one hell of a mustache, or something to that effect... care to elaborate?
User
we need some kind of connexion to the original story.
Jeffery Davis was walking down the street one day, enjoying the crumbling city around him. It was a beautiful day, and all was quiet, especially since The Disaster. As he walked down the street, something briefly caught his eye at the edge of an alley, before it vanished. It was the only moving thing he'd seen in weeks. After freezing for just a second he bolted after it. Could it be what he thought? He ducked round the corner.
"Dammit, another FUCKING cat!" He swore out loud at another day ruined by yet another dashed hope.
He stood there, stunned and demoralized for a minuite, before continuing to trudge on. However, after walking for another half hour, he did find himself some frozen steak, a bag of Doritos, and some stale bread at an old resturant.
"Enough to keep me going" Jeff said aloud with a smile.
Upon further inspection he discovered that the bag of doritos had already been opened, the chips removed, and refilled with hundred dollar bills. Ol' Jeffy's heart rose and sank, first the brief pang of excitement upon finding money, and then the realization that it no longer held any value. As he uncomfortably gnawed on the thawing steak he heard a catastrophically loud explosion far away towards the maroon setting sun.
Another one. They'd been getting more frequent of late. Warming the steak in his hands, he began the slow trek back to his latest 'home'.
He found himself at his home and came to realize, the last explosion was his home. He gnawed at the site of the blaze of his home an saw a shadow like small figure run from the back. He sat his steak down beside a flame and burnt the Doritos bag, but kept the money and ran after it.
Through the smoke and burning embers of what was once his home, Jeff carelessly stumbled towards the figure that seemed to be eluding him. Jeff was positive his quarry would escape, as he barely had sight of him, but a crash and a painful scream made it obvious he was going to confront the one who destroyed his beloved hovel. And as he came upon his prey he could see a face that was all too familiar.
It was Linus Torvalds. Jeffrey was astonished, he was sure nobody could have survived that fall so many years ago. But here was his arch-nemesis in the flesh, kneeling over in pain and clutching his raw, tender leg-wounds.
Jeff and Linus Looked into each others eyes for a moment..Jeff looked closely at Linus' mouth and saw that it as orange.Jeff went up to him an grabbed the collar of his shirt in anger and said, "FIRST MY HOME AND NOW MY DORIOTOS?I should kill you right now you bastard!'As Jeff pulled back his fist with all his anger Linus looked at him with a sad face, and said," but Jeffrey..I am..Your Father"
"What?" Jeff said; but at that very moment, Linus's face turned into that of Darth Vader. Then he woke up, bumping his head on the roof of the gondola he was laying in. "Shit", he said, looking from the water at the Hong Kong Skyline.
Hou was very confused. Who had he been- Jeff? He was going to have to lay off that cheap imported whisky; it always made him have those disturbing dreams.
He couldn't believe the time. His wife was supposed to be here hours ago and bring take-out. As he rubbed his grumble-belly his phone began to ring with a familiar tone.
It was Linus Torvalds. Hou was astonished, after the last kernel update had to be cancelled due to his monkey business he was sure Linus wouldn't call him again.
"Hey asshat, tell me what the password to the zip file you sent me is so I can stop talking to you," Linus menaced.
Jeffery Davis was walking down the street one day, enjoying the crumbling city around him. It was a beautiful day, and all was quiet, especially since The Disaster. As he walked down the street, something briefly caught his eye at the edge of an alley, before it vanished. It was the only moving thing he'd seen in weeks. After freezing for just a second he bolted after it. Could it be what he thought? He ducked round the corner.
"Dammit, another FUCKING cat!" He swore out loud at another day ruined by yet another dashed hope.
He stood there, stunned and demoralized for a minuite, before continuing to trudge on. However, after walking for another half hour, he did find himself some frozen steak, a bag of Doritos, and some stale bread at an old resturant.
"Enough to keep me going" Jeff said aloud with a smile.
Upon further inspection he discovered that the bag of doritos had already been opened, the chips removed, and refilled with hundred dollar bills. Ol' Jeffy's heart rose and sank, first the brief pang of excitement upon finding money, and then the realization that it no longer held any value. As he uncomfortably gnawed on the thawing steak he heard a catastrophically loud explosion far away towards the maroon setting sun.
Another one. They'd been getting more frequent of late. Warming the steak in his hands, he began the slow trek back to his latest 'home'.
He found himself at his home and came to realize, the last explosion was his home. He gnawed at the site of the blaze of his home an saw a shadow like small figure run from the back. He sat his steak down beside a flame and burnt the Doritos bag, but kept the money and ran after it.
Through the smoke and burning embers of what was once his home, Jeff carelessly stumbled towards the figure that seemed to be eluding him. Jeff was positive his quarry would escape, as he barely had sight of him, but a crash and a painful scream made it obvious he was going to confront the one who destroyed his beloved hovel. And as he came upon his prey he could see a face that was all too familiar.
It was Linus Torvalds. Jeffrey was astonished, he was sure nobody could have survived that fall so many years ago. But here was his arch-nemesis in the flesh, kneeling over in pain and clutching his raw, tender leg-wounds.
Jeff and Linus Looked into each others eyes for a moment..Jeff looked closely at Linus' mouth and saw that it as orange.Jeff went up to him an grabbed the collar of his shirt in anger and said, "FIRST MY HOME AND NOW MY DORIOTOS?I should kill you right now you bastard!'As Jeff pulled back his fist with all his anger Linus looked at him with a sad face, and said," but Jeffrey..I am..Your Father"
"What?" Jeff said; but at that very moment, Linus's face turned into that of Darth Vader. Then he woke up, bumping his head on the roof of the gondola he was laying in. "Shit", he said, looking from the water at the Hong Kong Skyline.
Hou was very confused. Who had he been- Jeff? He was going to have to lay off that cheap imported whisky; it always made him have those disturbing dreams.
He couldn't believe the time. His wife was supposed to be here hours ago and bring take-out. As he rubbed his grumble-belly his phone began to ring with a familiar tone.
It was Linus Torvalds. Hou was astonished, after the last kernel update had to be cancelled due to his monkey business he was sure Linus wouldn't call him again.
"Hey asshat, tell me what the password to the zip file you sent me is so I can stop talking to you," Linus menaced.
User
aaronjer made me do it. I was hoping i'd never see any of you jacktards ever again.
Jeffery Davis was walking down the street one day, enjoying the crumbling city around him. It was a beautiful day, and all was quiet, especially since The Disaster. As he walked down the street, something briefly caught his eye at the edge of an alley, before it vanished. It was the only moving thing he'd seen in weeks. After freezing for just a second he bolted after it. Could it be what he thought? He ducked round the corner.
"Dammit, another FUCKING cat!" He swore out loud at another day ruined by yet another dashed hope.
He stood there, stunned and demoralized for a minuite, before continuing to trudge on. However, after walking for another half hour, he did find himself some frozen steak, a bag of Doritos, and some stale bread at an old resturant.
"Enough to keep me going" Jeff said aloud with a smile.
Upon further inspection he discovered that the bag of doritos had already been opened, the chips removed, and refilled with hundred dollar bills. Ol' Jeffy's heart rose and sank, first the brief pang of excitement upon finding money, and then the realization that it no longer held any value. As he uncomfortably gnawed on the thawing steak he heard a catastrophically loud explosion far away towards the maroon setting sun.
Another one. They'd been getting more frequent of late. Warming the steak in his hands, he began the slow trek back to his latest 'home'.
He found himself at his home and came to realize, the last explosion was his home. He gnawed at the site of the blaze of his home an saw a shadow like small figure run from the back. He sat his steak down beside a flame and burnt the Doritos bag, but kept the money and ran after it.
Through the smoke and burning embers of what was once his home, Jeff carelessly stumbled towards the figure that seemed to be eluding him. Jeff was positive his quarry would escape, as he barely had sight of him, but a crash and a painful scream made it obvious he was going to confront the one who destroyed his beloved hovel. And as he came upon his prey he could see a face that was all too familiar.
It was Linus Torvalds. Jeffrey was astonished, he was sure nobody could have survived that fall so many years ago. But here was his arch-nemesis in the flesh, kneeling over in pain and clutching his raw, tender leg-wounds.
Jeffery Davis was walking down the street one day, enjoying the crumbling city around him. It was a beautiful day, and all was quiet, especially since The Disaster. As he walked down the street, something briefly caught his eye at the edge of an alley, before it vanished. It was the only moving thing he'd seen in weeks. After freezing for just a second he bolted after it. Could it be what he thought? He ducked round the corner.
"Dammit, another FUCKING cat!" He swore out loud at another day ruined by yet another dashed hope.
He stood there, stunned and demoralized for a minuite, before continuing to trudge on. However, after walking for another half hour, he did find himself some frozen steak, a bag of Doritos, and some stale bread at an old resturant.
"Enough to keep me going" Jeff said aloud with a smile.
Upon further inspection he discovered that the bag of doritos had already been opened, the chips removed, and refilled with hundred dollar bills. Ol' Jeffy's heart rose and sank, first the brief pang of excitement upon finding money, and then the realization that it no longer held any value. As he uncomfortably gnawed on the thawing steak he heard a catastrophically loud explosion far away towards the maroon setting sun.
Another one. They'd been getting more frequent of late. Warming the steak in his hands, he began the slow trek back to his latest 'home'.
He found himself at his home and came to realize, the last explosion was his home. He gnawed at the site of the blaze of his home an saw a shadow like small figure run from the back. He sat his steak down beside a flame and burnt the Doritos bag, but kept the money and ran after it.
Through the smoke and burning embers of what was once his home, Jeff carelessly stumbled towards the figure that seemed to be eluding him. Jeff was positive his quarry would escape, as he barely had sight of him, but a crash and a painful scream made it obvious he was going to confront the one who destroyed his beloved hovel. And as he came upon his prey he could see a face that was all too familiar.
It was Linus Torvalds. Jeffrey was astonished, he was sure nobody could have survived that fall so many years ago. But here was his arch-nemesis in the flesh, kneeling over in pain and clutching his raw, tender leg-wounds.
User
there's really only one rule... don't call AaronJerk (hehe... I came up with that one all by my self) any rude names or act overly licentious to any of the girls on the forum (including AaronJerk).
User
superjer! nobody can forget the terrible secret of being 10.
Oh, and Enjay should play more Gunbound.
...
...
GUNBOUND!
Oh, and Enjay should play more Gunbound.
...
...
GUNBOUND!
User
Your post count is so low that everyone is laughing at you. Even your dog, who you thought was loyal!
Truck
User
You're full of crap! My heart only beats once every couple of hours and I'm FINE.
Truck
User
haha sexy pirate costumes. awesome.
User
How about de_warehouse and de_cratestorage? Those are usually pretty original.
Speaking of which... Flying?! Can you build me a warehouse?
It needs to have triple lock entrance barriers and a network firewall with attack viruses that will burn the brains out of hackers GITS style. Make sure there is space for at least 4 really big crates that I can use to store hostages. Make sure to build at least one sewer entrance for easy daytime access for my vampire work crew. The main office needs to be set at least 30 feet up on the North wall and have at least 3 windows with 50. cal machine-gun turrets. It also needs a loading bay designed for docking with space-eels and space-dragons. (I'd also like space-ameoba access but I know that may not be possible
) Make the prison cells double or triple ply and no more than 2 cubic meters in size.
Oh, and if you could also build me a fleet of cargo vehicles (hovercraft please) I would appreciate it. Thanks, flying!
Speaking of which... Flying?! Can you build me a warehouse?
It needs to have triple lock entrance barriers and a network firewall with attack viruses that will burn the brains out of hackers GITS style. Make sure there is space for at least 4 really big crates that I can use to store hostages. Make sure to build at least one sewer entrance for easy daytime access for my vampire work crew. The main office needs to be set at least 30 feet up on the North wall and have at least 3 windows with 50. cal machine-gun turrets. It also needs a loading bay designed for docking with space-eels and space-dragons. (I'd also like space-ameoba access but I know that may not be possible
) Make the prison cells double or triple ply and no more than 2 cubic meters in size.
Oh, and if you could also build me a fleet of cargo vehicles (hovercraft please) I would appreciate it. Thanks, flying!
User
like Mr. Ribbon brand Giant Thresher Robots or Mr. Ribbon brand Standard-size Thresher Robots! those make a pretty penny on the Nomad market!
Truck
User
superjer's name is really a lot more closely related to Batman than you would think. I won't go into it... i'll let the masters tell the tale.
Truck
User
Phantoon Style Dodge-ball?! that sounds ionizing.
moving on.
Cammi's head on a stick or Julie's head on a stick?
moving on.
Cammi's head on a stick or Julie's head on a stick?
Truck
User
Haha! that's better than banning by a long shot.
admins ftw! (except JMD, he can go to hell)
admins ftw! (except JMD, he can go to hell)
Truck
User
what are you talkin about??
*watches video*
Okay, fuck you!
*watches video*
Okay, fuck you!
Truck
User
Yeah, I know about the witch princess being difficult. I've gotten about 30 animals killed so far... working on the rest.
User
uh... this is sorta my fault... just sorta tho! 
that fleet of hovercraft was made by Mr. Ribbon Heavy Manufacturing and Brewery. you know those drones I reprogrammed? well it turns out that I accidently set them to autonomous mode and then dropped the laptop I was hacking them with. I also was playing around with their combat settings and activated the "Purge Humans" command. Then they stole my hovercraft and ran off.
I'm pretty sure they will stay localized in the American Midwest, as their service area only extends so far. so even though this isn't REALLY my fault i've decided to help out by NOT firing any missiles at anyone fighting against the robot scourge. I'm sticking to non-explosive ballistic weaponry and stationary explosives such as mines, double-mines and reflective laser-bombs!
I'll be waiting in ambush! Have fun bitches!!
that fleet of hovercraft was made by Mr. Ribbon Heavy Manufacturing and Brewery. you know those drones I reprogrammed? well it turns out that I accidently set them to autonomous mode and then dropped the laptop I was hacking them with. I also was playing around with their combat settings and activated the "Purge Humans" command. Then they stole my hovercraft and ran off.
I'm pretty sure they will stay localized in the American Midwest, as their service area only extends so far. so even though this isn't REALLY my fault i've decided to help out by NOT firing any missiles at anyone fighting against the robot scourge. I'm sticking to non-explosive ballistic weaponry and stationary explosives such as mines, double-mines and reflective laser-bombs!
I'll be waiting in ambush! Have fun bitches!!
User
I'm back, baby!
some asshole deleted my account... aaronjer... but I'm ready to rejoin the Pole-Socking league through a handy loophole I discovered! Seeing as registration and blacklisting for Pole-Socking is handled by a division of superjer.com my blacklist status has been lifted!!
so anyway, im workin' on my brand new shit. I've already managed to reprogram 70% of Cammi's work and battle drones! She's gonna look like a real class act when I drop this humdinger of a death ray on 'er! as long as JMD stays out of my way... fuck that monkey. FUCK HIM TO HELL.
some asshole deleted my account... aaronjer... but I'm ready to rejoin the Pole-Socking league through a handy loophole I discovered! Seeing as registration and blacklisting for Pole-Socking is handled by a division of superjer.com my blacklist status has been lifted!!
so anyway, im workin' on my brand new shit. I've already managed to reprogram 70% of Cammi's work and battle drones! She's gonna look like a real class act when I drop this humdinger of a death ray on 'er! as long as JMD stays out of my way... fuck that monkey. FUCK HIM TO HELL.