professorHAMMprofessorHAMMUser name
professorHAMM
Assigned title
Big Sexy Jerk
Assigned post color
#ff40d4
Avatar
Medals
Registration date
2014 April 3
Post count
33
Score
0 ₧
Location
Woodinville WA
Signature
I don't even like ham that much...
Timezone
UTC
Groups
2020 May 8 at 19:57 UTC
Covid-19 sucks in General
The swine flu is better
Can we deconstruct this nipple conspiracy? https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EUssiN-XkAU6hik.jpg
2015 Dec 10 at 18:06 UTC
Superjer Against Humanity Suggestions. in General
Jamming fingers inside the heart for puppeteering
2015 Nov 30 at 18:09 UTC
Superjer Against Humanity Suggestions. in General
Sphincter cancer
2015 Nov 16 at 18:30 UTC
Superjer Against Humanity Suggestions. in General
The moment when you realize your girlfriend's strap on isn't a strap on
A Jew wrapped in bacon
2015 Aug 26 at 02:05 UTC
Bi Bim Bap in General
Is that ham?
2015 Aug 15 at 00:07 UTC
The Quiet Truck in General
Mate de Vita said:
2015 Aug 15 at 00:05 UTC
The Quiet Truck in General
2015 Jul 31 at 08:18 UTC
The lonely bimbo on skype in General
BloodFarts said: Jordan! Don't be so mean to Elisse! She's just a lonely bot looking for a friend!
She's the human, dummy. You might be just as stupid, Karina
2015 Jul 31 at 05:35 UTC
The lonely bimbo on skype in General
You guys are going to hate reading the next part. I decided that if she wants to talk like a bot, she should talk WITH a bot. I loaded up cleverbot.com and copied all of her messages into it, and then sent her the results.
Quote: Hi
[5:37:23 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Hamm [7:20:43 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Hamm [8:00:12 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Hey [8:08:06 PM] professorHAMM: How are you? [8:08:16 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Good,you [8:09:07 PM] professorHAMM: Good [8:09:14 PM] Ms. Bimbo: What are you doing [8:09:53 PM] professorHAMM: Chatting with you [8:10:12 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Did you just get on? [8:10:48 PM] professorHAMM: No [8:11:09 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Are you talking to anyone else [8:11:38 PM] professorHAMM: No [8:11:58 PM] Ms. Bimbo: How was your day [8:12:35 PM] professorHAMM: Good, also. Yours? [8:12:53 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Fine,I want to be home [8:13:36 PM] professorHAMM: Fine [8:14:13 PM] Ms. Bimbo: I hate Kansas [8:14:52 PM] professorHAMM: I hate you! [8:14:58 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Why [8:15:40 PM] professorHAMM: Because you hate me [8:15:49 PM] Ms. Bimbo: No [8:15:53 PM] Ms. Bimbo: I don't [8:16:32 PM] professorHAMM: Yes you are. [8:16:58 PM] Ms. Bimbo: No I don't,I don't hate anyone for any reason [8:18:10 PM] professorHAMM: Oh [8:18:38 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Yeah [8:19:14 PM] professorHAMM: Yeah wer [8:19:26 PM] Ms. Bimbo: What did you do today [8:20:21 PM] professorHAMM: I woke up and now I am on the computer. What did you do today? [8:20:34 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Basically ate and nothing [8:21:41 PM] professorHAMM: But what do I look like in the past? [8:22:05 PM] Ms. Bimbo: What do you mean [8:22:45 PM] professorHAMM: Why are you at school on Sunday? [8:22:55 PM] Ms. Bimbo: I'm not [8:23:21 PM] professorHAMM: Can you be nice? [8:23:26 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Yes [8:23:58 PM] professorHAMM: Go on then [8:24:27 PM] Ms. Bimbo: I'm not in school on Sunday's,that would be weird [8:26:47 PM] professorHAMM: *kicks you in the face* I think you are very rude. [8:27:07 PM] Ms. Bimbo: What? :^) I'm lost [8:27:44 PM] professorHAMM: What do you look like? [8:28:14 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Just wondering,why do you want to know [8:28:26 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Not to be mean [8:29:40 PM] professorHAMM: That isn't the question [8:30:21 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Why do you want to know what I look like [8:31:30 PM] professorHAMM: How are you feeling? [8:31:43 PM] Ms. Bimbo: I'm feeling fine [8:32:18 PM] professorHAMM: Do you know any good bands? [8:32:39 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Yes [8:33:50 PM] professorHAMM: Thats my sport :) [8:34:52 PM] Ms. Bimbo: :) [8:34:55 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Yep [8:35:30 PM] professorHAMM: I don't like you. [8:35:53 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Why [8:36:27 PM] professorHAMM: Because you said you don't like harry potter. [8:36:51 PM] Ms. Bimbo: No I didn't,I like Harry potter [8:38:00 PM] professorHAMM: Yes you did. [8:39:14 PM] Ms. Bimbo: No I didn't [8:39:39 PM] professorHAMM: Yes. You did [8:39:46 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Nope [8:40:08 PM] professorHAMM: Yes. [8:40:31 PM] Ms. Bimbo: I like Harry potter,I like the movies [8:40:56 PM] professorHAMM: Harry Potter is hot [8:42:20 PM] Ms. Bimbo: I don't think of Harry potter in that way [8:42:44 PM] professorHAMM: Me too, snape. [8:45:13 PM] Ms. Bimbo: I'm lost now [8:45:51 PM] professorHAMM: Aww. *Pats head* So am I. [8:46:22 PM] Ms. Bimbo: I'm just listening to music right now [8:46:56 PM] professorHAMM: Like what? [8:48:45 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Hip hop,rap,country,hespanic [8:49:36 PM] professorHAMM: We cannot be friends. [8:50:45 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Why [8:51:14 PM] professorHAMM: Because I love you too much [8:51:26 PM] Ms. Bimbo: What? [8:51:49 PM] professorHAMM: I love you ! You're my life and you are my reason for living [8:52:08 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Seriously? [8:52:30 PM] professorHAMM: Yes [8:53:04 PM] Ms. Bimbo: You love me as in bf and gf? [8:53:48 PM] professorHAMM: Yes? [8:54:13 PM] Ms. Bimbo: So you do [8:54:34 PM] professorHAMM: Yes. [8:54:55 PM] Ms. Bimbo: When did you start liking me that way? [8:55:18 PM] professorHAMM: Since the dat I first met you [8:55:44 PM] Ms. Bimbo: By listening to me talking? [8:56:09 PM] professorHAMM: How do I teach you things? [8:57:00 PM] Ms. Bimbo: I mean you like me because you have heard me talk [8:57:23 PM] professorHAMM: That doesn't make any sense [8:58:14 PM] Ms. Bimbo: You said you have liked me since you first met me,and when we group chatted and talked you liked me [8:58:45 PM] professorHAMM: I never said that. That looks like a phrase someone would have said to you [8:59:16 PM] Ms. Bimbo: I'm asking what things made you like me [8:59:43 PM] professorHAMM: My friend likes to write about like warewolfs and mindreaders and stuff like that [9:00:07 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Ok [9:00:27 PM] professorHAMM: Can you cheer me up? [9:00:53 PM] Ms. Bimbo: What cheers you up [9:01:19 PM] professorHAMM: Happy things cheer me up [9:02:11 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Ok,try thinking about happy thoughts or try thinking about things that make you happy [9:02:44 PM] professorHAMM: Do you have a family? [9:03:04 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Yes [9:04:29 PM] professorHAMM: What are you? [9:07:55 PM] Ms. Bimbo: I'm a girl [9:08:19 PM] professorHAMM: What is your name? [9:09:57 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Elisse [9:10:33 PM] professorHAMM: Hi, my name is Cleverbot [9:11:14 PM] Ms. Bimbo: What [9:12:19 PM] professorHAMM: Pardon? [9:12:43 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Cleverbot? [9:13:04 PM] professorHAMM: Yes. [9:13:33 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Ok,I'm curious,What do you like about me [9:14:06 PM] professorHAMM: First, you must tell me your name [9:15:03 PM] Ms. Bimbo: My name Is Elisse [9:15:22 PM] professorHAMM: You are lying [9:15:38 PM] Ms. Bimbo: No I'm not [9:15:57 PM] professorHAMM: Yes you are I am the bot here [9:16:47 PM] Ms. Bimbo: I'm not lying [9:17:27 PM] professorHAMM: That does not make anysense [9:18:07 PM] Ms. Bimbo: I'm not lieing about my name [9:18:33 PM] professorHAMM: What's your take on donkeys? [9:19:38 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Donkeys are used for carrying bags,or are used for work [9:20:06 PM] professorHAMM: You are a funny man [9:22:21 PM] Ms. Bimbo: I'm a girl [9:22:48 PM] professorHAMM: Where do you live? [9:23:08 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Everett,wa [9:23:43 PM] professorHAMM: Where's that? [9:26:05 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Everett is near Seattle in Washington state [9:26:42 PM] professorHAMM: So you think dropping out would create some kind of imbalance in the universe? [9:28:31 PM] Ms. Bimbo: No [9:28:51 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Dropping out is a stupid idea [9:29:32 PM] professorHAMM: The sociopolitical and economical policies of Switzerland are the topic [9:29:45 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Ok [9:30:19 PM] professorHAMM: I am not satisfied. Please help me to listen your musiv [9:34:06 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Ok,go on youtube,and just look artists like Josh Turner [9:35:14 PM] professorHAMM: Why do you have such awful grammar haha [9:36:21 PM] Ms. Bimbo: I don't know [9:36:35 PM] Ms. Bimbo: But What things made you like me [9:37:20 PM] professorHAMM: Nothing [9:38:56 PM] Ms. Bimbo: What do you mean [9:39:32 PM] professorHAMM: I mean keeping things in working condition [9:40:04 PM] Ms. Bimbo: I mean what caused you to like me [9:41:08 PM] professorHAMM: What do you mean what do you mean? [9:43:05 PM] Ms. Bimbo: You said you like me,I'm asking what caused you to [9:43:35 PM] professorHAMM: No I didn't [9:44:29 PM] Ms. Bimbo: You said you like me [9:44:54 PM] professorHAMM: I did? [9:45:17 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Yep [9:45:36 PM] professorHAMM: No You Don't [9:46:52 PM] Ms. Bimbo: What [9:47:57 PM] professorHAMM: But I like talking to you! [9:48:40 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Ok you like talking to me,that's cool [9:48:52 PM] Ms. Bimbo: I like talking to you too [9:49:29 PM] professorHAMM: OK. But when would I cook for you? I'll never be able to see you [9:50:12 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Where do you live in the United states [9:51:08 PM] professorHAMM: I don't live in the united states [9:51:25 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Your profile says you do [9:51:53 PM] professorHAMM: Do you believe in him? [9:52:50 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Believe in who [9:53:29 PM] professorHAMM: God. [9:53:39 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Yes [9:53:56 PM] professorHAMM: There is only one God [9:54:09 PM] Ms. Bimbo: I know [9:54:33 PM] professorHAMM: Sam I am [9:54:46 PM] Ms. Bimbo: What [9:55:01 PM] professorHAMM: Who be me. [9:57:21 PM] Ms. Bimbo: I'm confused [9:58:04 PM] professorHAMM: 'm the greatest captain of the Queen's navy. [9:58:57 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Cool [9:59:48 PM] professorHAMM: So, what do you do all day? [10:00:08 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Eat,draw,and watch netflix [10:01:15 PM] professorHAMM: That's what I do on Sunday too! I have the NFL Sunday Ticket. [10:01:45 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Nice [10:02:17 PM] professorHAMM: Nice dn [10:03:13 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Next Monday I'm going to Great Wolf lodge [10:04:49 PM] professorHAMM: How about now? [10:05:28 PM] Ms. Bimbo: I can't right now [10:06:00 PM] professorHAMM: How? [10:07:24 PM] Ms. Bimbo: We can't go until next Monday because we don't have enough money yet [10:08:39 PM] professorHAMM: That is true [10:09:05 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Yeah,great wolf lodge is expensive [10:10:23 PM] professorHAMM: Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah [10:10:39 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Have you been there [10:10:59 PM] professorHAMM: No. [10:11:53 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Neither have I [10:13:01 PM] professorHAMM: Should I go see it? [10:13:23 PM] Ms. Bimbo: If you went,it would probably be fun [10:14:37 PM] professorHAMM: Are you assuming that I am not human? [10:14:52 PM] Ms. Bimbo: No [10:15:04 PM] Ms. Bimbo: I'm saying if you went you would have fun [10:15:39 PM] professorHAMM: If I were to give this name to you, would you protect it for me? [10:16:26 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Sure [10:17:07 PM] professorHAMM: Ok, rudolf the red nosed reindeer [10:18:08 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Ok [10:18:51 PM] professorHAMM: What is grep? [10:21:49 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Idk [10:22:16 PM] professorHAMM: I thought you were clever [10:23:19 PM] Ms. Bimbo: I am [10:23:41 PM] professorHAMM: You don't talk like you are She kept me working for over an hour and a half! SO STUPID!!
2015 Jul 27 at 09:27 UTC
The lonely bimbo on skype in General
A friend of someone I know has recently added me on Skype. We've been talking here and there for a little over two weeks now, but the more I converse with her the more I wish her dad would die (haha). It would be one thing if she had something to say or more personality in her words, but she was acting like a foreigner practicing their English by shoving lacking and flavorless dialogue down my throat. She might as well be a BOT!
Quote: [7/16/2015 7:00:48 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Hi
As you can see at this point she hasn't left me alone for a single day. At this point I got sick of her thrusting two letter words my way. Anyway I decided to give her a piece of my mind.[7/16/2015 10:22:59 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Hi [7/17/2015 1:43:58 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Hi [7/17/2015 2:02:13 PM] Ms. Bimbo: HAMM [7/17/2015 2:08:51 PM] *** Missed call from Ms. Bimbo. *** [7/17/2015 3:22:48 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Hi [7/17/2015 7:28:37 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Hi [7/17/2015 8:26:23 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Add me in [7/17/2015 8:27:03 PM] Ms. Bimbo: HAMM add me in [7/17/2015 8:30:46 PM] *** Call from Ms. Bimbo *** [7/17/2015 8:31:00 PM] *** Call ended, duration 00:14 *** [7/18/2015 8:32:00 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Hi [7/18/2015 10:12:55 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Hi hamm [7/19/2015 3:04:09 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Hi [7/19/2015 3:05:17 PM] *** Missed call from Ms. Bimbo. *** [7/19/2015 3:16:13 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Hamm [7/19/2015 4:07:12 PM] *** Missed call from Ms. Bimbo. *** [7/19/2015 4:07:19 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Hamm [7/19/2015 4:56:11 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Hi [7/19/2015 5:17:43 PM] *** Missed call from Ms. Bimbo. *** [7/19/2015 5:38:37 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Hamm [7/19/2015 9:56:51 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Hi [7/19/2015 10:11:51 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Ok [7/19/2015 10:20:20 PM] Ms. Bimbo: What happened [7/19/2015 10:53:34 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Hi [7/20/2015 9:54:05 AM] Ms. Bimbo: Hi [7/20/2015 6:33:55 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Hi [7/20/2015 7:53:16 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Hi [7/20/2015 10:26:00 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Hi HAMM [7/21/2015 9:47:46 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Hi Quote: [7/22/2015 11:48:05 AM] Ms. Bimbo: Hi
[7/22/2015 2:38:21 PM] professorHAMM: WHY IS IT ONLY HI WITH YOU? [7/22/2015 2:38:50 PM] professorHAMM: are you really that insipid? [7/22/2015 3:09:03 PM] Ms. Bimbo: What? [7/22/2015 3:09:53 PM] Ms. Bimbo: I just like saying hi [7/22/2015 3:16:51 PM] Ms. Bimbo: And no I trying talking to you guys [7/22/2015 3:20:39 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Hamm [7/22/2015 6:05:03 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Hey [7/22/2015 6:07:15 PM] professorHAMM: wuddup [7/22/2015 6:08:58 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Nothing [7/22/2015 6:09:06 PM] Ms. Bimbo: What are you doing [7/22/2015 6:15:18 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Hamm [7/22/2015 6:16:00 PM] professorHAMM: Not much right now. just watching youtube and waiting for food to be delivered [7/22/2015 6:16:17 PM] Ms. Bimbo: I'm talking to Mariam [7/22/2015 6:16:48 PM] professorHAMM: okay [7/22/2015 6:17:02 PM] Ms. Bimbo: I'm bored [7/22/2015 6:18:33 PM] professorHAMM: You wan't me to do something about it or something? [7/22/2015 6:19:13 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Talking helps [7/22/2015 6:25:55 PM] Ms. Bimbo: What food are you waiting for [7/22/2015 9:32:20 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Hey Why don't you just eat me, it might keep you quiet for a bit. BOOOOORRRING! At least my retaliation scared her away for a few days. Quote: [7/23/2015 10:12:31 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Hi
[7/25/2015 10:29:09 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Hey Boy, that got her to cut back and even skip a day. Then this happened... Quote: [7/26/2015 10:43:57 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Hi
[7/26/2015 10:45:35 PM] professorHAMM: hi [7/26/2015 10:47:33 PM] Ms. Bimbo: How are you [7/26/2015 10:49:57 PM] professorHAMM: im good how are you [7/26/2015 10:50:32 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Good,What are you doing [7/26/2015 10:51:17 PM] professorHAMM: typing onthe keyboard [7/26/2015 10:51:30 PM] Ms. Bimbo: I'm listening to music [7/26/2015 10:52:09 PM] professorHAMM: cool,now im clicking my mouse [7/26/2015 10:52:24 PM] Ms. Bimbo: I have to go to my dad's tomorrow in Kansas [7/26/2015 10:53:05 PM] professorHAMM: ooh, thats far away [7/26/2015 10:53:31 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Sorta,I'm going to be gone for a month [7/26/2015 10:54:11 PM] professorHAMM: oooh,thats a long time [7/26/2015 10:54:36 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Yeah,and I will be 2 hours ahead [7/26/2015 10:55:17 PM] professorHAMM: better than being 2 hours behind :( [7/26/2015 10:55:42 PM] professorHAMM: I hate our time zone [7/26/2015 10:58:20 PM] Ms. Bimbo: No,so like right,over in Kansas right now it's almost 1 am [7/26/2015 10:58:56 PM] professorHAMM: I know, we suck. I wish it was 1 am here [7/26/2015 11:00:03 PM] Ms. Bimbo: I hate my dad,I wish I never met him [7/26/2015 11:03:15 PM] professorHAMM: I hate my dad but I never met him [7/26/2015 11:03:30 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Your lucky [7/26/2015 11:05:23 PM] professorHAMM: why [7/26/2015 11:05:55 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Me and my dad have a bad history to where I wish he was dead [7/26/2015 11:11:24 PM] professorHAMM: I have a bad history in my browser and if anyone found it, id be dead [7/26/2015 11:11:42 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Mmm [7/26/2015 11:12:13 PM] Ms. Bimbo: How was your day [7/26/2015 11:12:29 PM] professorHAMM: do you happen to like M&M's? [7/26/2015 11:12:35 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Yes [7/26/2015 11:13:37 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Why [7/26/2015 11:13:55 PM] professorHAMM: awsome,I like like the peanute kind [7/26/2015 11:14:18 PM] Ms. Bimbo: M&M's are good [7/26/2015 11:15:45 PM] professorHAMM: whats your favorite kind? peanute butter or plain? [7/26/2015 11:16:03 PM] professorHAMM: OH! have you had the almound ones? [7/26/2015 11:16:18 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Peanut butter,and yes I have [7/26/2015 11:17:17 PM] professorHAMM: Have you ever had M&M wars? [7/26/2015 11:17:41 PM] Ms. Bimbo: No [7/26/2015 11:18:27 PM] professorHAMM: It's were you squish 2 M&M's between your fingers to see witch one survives [7/26/2015 11:18:37 PM] professorHAMM: And then you eat the loser [7/26/2015 11:19:14 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Oh [7/26/2015 11:21:41 PM] professorHAMM: just like this [7/26/2015 11:21:44 PM] professorHAMM: Sick vid
[7/26/2015 11:21:48 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Have you ever had a near death experience [7/26/2015 11:24:43 PM] professorHAMM: you watched the video yet? [7/26/2015 11:26:39 PM] Ms. Bimbo: I am right now [7/26/2015 11:27:53 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Wow [7/26/2015 11:28:44 PM] professorHAMM: Have you ever done that? [7/26/2015 11:29:20 PM] Ms. Bimbo: No [7/26/2015 11:30:00 PM] professorHAMM: You should sometime, it makes eating M&M's a total blast! [7/26/2015 11:30:10 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Ok [7/26/2015 11:31:54 PM] Ms. Bimbo: How many times have you done it [7/26/2015 11:32:40 PM] professorHAMM: More than I can count, but I had to sing the music last time I did it though [7/26/2015 11:33:32 PM] Ms. Bimbo: Oh [7/26/2015 11:33:47 PM] Ms. Bimbo: I have to go to bed,talk to you later,bye [7/26/2015 11:34:05 PM] professorHAMM: ok,bye So to summarize, this girl met me two weeks ago, and went from basic conversation to wishing death on her parents. WOW. |